Yeah, that can be really tough, especially since youāre keeping it to yourself. I have a bit of separation anxiety as well because when I was a child I got lost at the beach. I had to struggle with not being clingy my whole life, which I wasnt successful at it until recently. My advice is to be completely open about it. The more you communicate it the more you will get in reassurance, if he is understanding. Typically people who care about you like to understand what is going on and how they can help. And just keep reminding yourself you are a separate person too. And there is nothing wrong with being alone because then you get to do the individual things you enjoy that maybe he doesnāt.
When you can, do seek help asap. It will do wonders for your mental health to have the tools that will empower you to be the best version you. I hope this helps. Good luck.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to handle adult separation anxiety?
That sounds like codependency. Get into therapy.
Keep it cool n start saving just in case.
Wellā¦talk to him! Maybe he can reassure you. Communication. If he blows you off or minimizes itā¦maybe time to rethink what is best for you.
Thatās codependency and that requires therapy to help.
Seriously following. I get anxious leaving my daughter to go to work etc
This is ridiculous. You need to be by yourself and love you. You should not be that dependent and desperate for a man. You can never live if you donāt love yourself firstā¦
Find something to occupy your thoughts music, reading working so you not constantly thinking about it.,.or it wins
You have to talk to him AND get counseling. The money spent can save this relationship.
What was the breakup over? Youāre mostly probably feeling this way because youāre afraid youāll be hurt again. Id look in to therapy , start a schedule where it doesnāt revolve around āHIMā like Iād go to the gym, or get a hobby that occupys time. Work on yourself itāll change alot in your life when you focus on you.
Explain. It. To. Humans. Then. You can. Know if he. Didnāt. Want. To. Be with. U. He. Would. Not. If. Come. Bc get it. In. The open
Oh wow. I know this all too well!! Itās so hard to deal with!! It is awful!!! I too struggle with āseparation anxietyā. Itās real!! But I have it to an extremely high level. I do see a therapist and that is so very helpful!! Maybe insurance will help you? If you would like to chat, I am always available and you can send me a message!! Wishing you the best!! 
Was there abandonment issues when you were younger? Did a parent leave? Or something? Just a guess maybe itās because of your past issues when you were youngerā¦or maybe someone didnāt leave but weāre gone a lot when you were younger. Just my thoughts, if you did remember heās not that person. Underlying issues from past.
First off love yourself! When you are that worried about him leaving thatās not good. You can get therapy online! Please donāt let him control your feelings!
I struggle with separation anxiety My husband and I have been together 16 years. Iāve had alot of bad things happen. Phone calls telling me someone passed away or that my husband has been hurt as well as a phone call saying he broke his back got electrocuted and almost died. Needless to say the anxiety gets bad. I will call or text him to make sure heās ok as well as him text me throughout the day when he gets to where heās going on his way home we will video chat as well. I went from. Living with my mom to living with him so really no time where I was by myself.
Iām getting to where I hate Facebook, posting any kind of response to anything, because of negativity ā¦ but here goes.
My heart goes out to the person asking the question. You all are screeching and screaming for therapy. Even going so far as calling HUMAN EMOTION AND CONCERN āRIDICULOUSā. Wow.
I have separation anxiety from MY husband and my parents because of WHY? Because Iām ALLOWED to. Iāve been labeled ācodependentā by a therapy and told his ass he could go straight to hell, he didnāt know my WHOLE story, and that was BEFORE life became rocky for me. I have lost my first husband to supposed suicide in 2009, a child in 2011, Iāve seen my father experience a heart attack and live to tell about it, my mother has a rare genetic disorder that nearly killed her AND me in childbirth. My fiancee NOW almost lost his life eight years ago to an electrical accident on a jobsite, and I have had to go through the trauma WITH him of nearly loosing his life AGAIN to sepsis, requiring ALL 32 teeth get removed within a matter of weeks earlier this year to prepare for dental implants. How old is he? 32.
I FEAR being alone one day, being childless, but afraid to be a mother, thinking I donāt deserve a proper wedding ceremony soon, etc.
Point being, be kind. EVERYONESā feelings are valid and important the same.
Sounds more like abandonment issues or co-dependency. Seek a licensed therapist
Why were boundaries set? Was it because you were too clingy because of the Dependence? There isnāt enough explanation of your situation to give decent advise.
This is dangerous putting all your dependence on a man. Love yourself. If you canāt love yourself and afraid hell leave again than thatās exactly what will happen. Find your self love and independence. This is not a healthy relationship.
tell him your feelings, so he knows why you are the way you are acting.
You need to be cool with yourself. Sometimes you will be the only person you can depend on and you need to have your back. People come and go and thatās a harsh reality.
Marriage counseling works great.
Talk to him about it! Go to therapy together. Find out why youāre so afraid heās going to leave. Communication is a must
Please seek individual counseling. This isnāt a healthy situation for you and he to be in. I hope you find comfort
If heās going to leave all the anxiety you are having wonāt stop him. You need to get a handle on it before it causes another wedge in your marriage. Some churches offer free counseling. 
So youāre afraid of being alone and hurt. We all get that way at one pointā¦well a lot of us. Find something to occupy your time. If he goes he goes. Not much you can do about it. Find some pottery classes or art or cooking classes. Maybe talk to a therapist. The root could be deeper from childhood that you have hidden in your subconscious that you dont remember.
Talk to him about it. See what you can do together to make it better. Maybe a text from him on his break? A hobby or busy activity you can do to help distract yourself when those feelings start to arise? Hope you are able to find some counseling soon, but in the mean time search for healthy coping mechanisms
I have dealt with this. I have been married to my husband for 10 years, together 13 years and we are only 30. If you feel this it simply means you donāt love yourself enough. You need to figure out what is inside you that causes thay void. What is the real reason you donāt like being alone? Why donāt you love yourself? Is there trauma from your childhood that have you abandonment issues? It is so hard to feel this and fix it. Work on yourself. Loving yourself. Exercise, do a hobby. Force yourself until you feel natural doing something for YOU by yourself.
Tell him! The only way to resolve issues is to talk about them and even then, it will take time. 
Yeah, you need to get a grip on yourself!!! Get counseling and learn to love yourself because you end up being an emotional mess and a burden on him and drive him away.
Sounds like itās a trust issue to me.
I guess it would depend on the Reasons you broke up. Thatās were you need to start. If you were to clingy then you need to work on that. If it was because he cheated, then you are always going to have this fear.
Ok Iām going to be different from everyone else. Your anxiety is high and your trying to calm it right? You canāt afford counseling. Can you get some essiential oils? And a diffuser/humidifier on Amazon one that does 20 plus hours? They cost $15 to 24 and depending on what essiential oils calm your anxiety down fruit smells or lavender, chamomile and you put this in the diffuser and run it it will calm your anxiety right down and allow you to think clearly. I used to have horrible panic attacks constantly and this took care of the problem for me. Then youāll be able to think clearly. And work on your problems and not be in world of frantic panic.
The comments on here are awful. āYou need to get over yourselfā what? I have the exact same issue. Itās really tough on both me and my partner but we talk about things and figure out what helps and what doesnāt. The biggest thing that helped me was putting the radio/tv on in the background so I wasnāt left alone with my own thoughts. Youāll get through this, donāt listen to the other people on here. Itās okay to feel this way
Without communication you have nothing. If youāre battling these demons and he isnāt even aware of them, I promise youā¦they will destroy what little trust and security you may have in the relationship. Be open, be honest, and be forgiving. Things happen and we canāt change that, or the way that they happened but we can learn from them.
Go to counseling. If your not happy donāt stay together because of seperation anxiety.
Then talk to him 
open communication is a must in every relationship that wants to work
Donāt talk to him about it because this is a you problem. Donāt make him feel bad about going to work or out to the store, thatās a lot on a person. Focus on yourself. Take steps to become more comfortable with yourself. Get a hobby, read a few books,learn new things, make some friends. You need to live a life and have relationships beyond being your husbandās wife.
Talk to him. Youāre almost at the level of PTSD.
There are services that offer counselling for free, I suggest you reach out as it sounds like you have an anxious attachment style ā for example a secure attachment should allow for breaks / time apart etc. without being overly stressful. Try not to put any further pressure on your partner, a break sounds like exactly what you need to be alone and work on yourself.
love yourself first.
More info below: self awareness is key.
http://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm
If you look at the anxiety as almost an āaddictionā to the comfort he provides when he is around and the deprivation/starvation your body is craving when he is gone, you might be able to help yourself out of it, or at least get a start on handling it until you can get to therapy. Look at pintrest and reddit and tiktokā¦ there are some really good free advices there. There are also some EXTREMELY bad advices there, so make sure you take everything with a grain of salt and dont do anything that is too uncomfortable, dangerous or ridiculous. Life is a process we all grow through at our own pace, and some of us have to make it through a deeper pile of shit than others before we see the sun light.
MOST OF ALL: DO NOT (and I mean that āNOTā with the most emphasis imaginable) be ashamed of what your are feeling. You have a RIGHT to your feelings. They are there because of something in you that needs to feel them. No matter what any ignorant asshat on the internet says, you have the RIGHT to feel your feelings and to do so withOUT shame.
Especially considering it takes massive self awareness and courage to ask this question on an open forum, I have no doubt you will able to find the resources you need to overcome it. Be patient and kind with yourself. And make sure to talk openly with your spouse about your feelings. Best of luck to you!
Thatās not separation anxiety thatās ptsd. Iām diagnosed with severe anxiety and ptsd. Unfortunately, itās not going to just go away.
Hi, I also deal with that, on top of PTSD, anxiety, depression and co dependency because of the trauma and abuse inflicted on me as a child. Therapy really helped me, and medication, seriously so worth it. Iām so sorry you canāt afford it right now, I know whatās thats like. I have it with my husband. I read have improved, intense therapy for 2 years. Right now my husband is away due to the military for a few weeks and I can honestly say I am doing good. Before I would be crying hysterically and my life stopped when he was away but now Iām not like that. I hope you will be able to afford therapy in the future.
Get some CBD and relax helps let things go ā¦ if his going to leave you canāt do much other than talk about it .
If you canāt afford therapy, try just going to your primary care doctor. I have several anxiety disorders, and there are medications that can help.
Firstly I think you need to make it known itās more so from the break up. Maybe he can find ways to help ease your anxiety. Something as a simple as a text throughout the day may help. I would definitely look into therapy as well. I know where I am they have some that go off your income so they arenāt crazy expensive.
I think u need to see a therapist. Because this can damage the relationship. Do soul searching on why ur so dependent on this man. Thatās not healthy for u
So I literally just went through this and it took about 3 months before it got better for me. I still get it from time to time but nothing like before. I did talk to my husband about it so that he knew what was going on and he was very supportive about it. I learned to redirect my thoughts and focus on something good, use breathing techniques, and tried to keep busy with things while he was gone.
Itās going to take time to trust and itās not even a guarantee that you ever will. I personally couldnāt be with someone if I felt like that being with them. How can you truly be happy living like that?
I used to struggle with this alotā¦I also had codependency with my ex husband so both those together suckedā¦what made it even worse was when he worked 3rd shift and I was home alone ā¦it was awfulā¦my problem was I wasnāt happy with who I was as a personā¦I let him define meā¦I couldnāt cope when he wasnāt aroundā¦you need to learn who you are as a person apart from him .find out what you like to do, find a hobbyā¦go on walksā¦Iām happier with myself now being single then I ever was because I found myself and know that Iām ok with who I am
I think this is codependencyā¦ You might be able to find some resources if you look it up. I feel like I struggle with this too but I also struggle with PTSD and it keeps me from seeing a therapist because itās a trigger. Fun stuff.
Sounds more like PTSD than separation anxiety even if it wasnāt physical it can still mess with how you handle things now
Talk to him about how youāre feeling. It may make you feel a lot better. Communication goes a long way when it comes to anxiety in a relationship, Iāve lived it enough times to know not talking will only make the anxiety worse
I get these thoughts too but itās because a good portion of people in my life has betrayed me or left me. I have seriously bad trust issues too. All I can say is try the best you can at being alone and understand that you canāt control what others do and you are the only person in your life that is 100% all for you.
You need to communicate that to him so that maybe he can do some little things to help ease it. Send a text throughout the day just say hes thinking of you or something. Also, I recommend seeking therapy, and maybe something like a hobby that helps keep your mind distracted. Good luck to you, hun.
I have this but with my dogs. My service dog canāt work in public anymore after being attacked, and it is panic inducing for me to have to leave him home. I hate it. So far therapy hasnāt helped. 
Call your local county authority on mental health and ask for a referral to a place that has an opening for therapy for uninsured or underinsured and state the situation like no insurance or cannot afford copays or transportation or whatever the situation. Some are still doing Telehealth so transportation may not even be a barrier. Good luck.
I had this too when me and my husband went through some stuff. When he came back I worried every time he left. Each day it seemed to get a little better when he would come back. After awhile it just went away when I seen he could be trusted to stay
Your focus needs to come off him completely and put it on yourself. Like FULLY.
I donāt know the best advice, but from reading this post it sounds like you need to build up some trust with him. He came back to you for a reason, maybe try exploring the why?
Honestlyā¦Iād have to know more than you could remember about the entire relationship to truly be specificā¦but given the fact of things Iāve personally been throughā¦Iāve learned to bury such things when necessary and push ahead regardless, relying less and less on the other person. So I guess you could call it learning to detach emotionallyā¦at least, to do so in public.
So probably not the best one to offer an answer when Iāve felt that enough to learn how to be comfortable with the pains it bringsā¦
His willingness to try and work things out tells me he does care for you, obviously. youāve opened up about your anxiety, thats a huge step in communication. Iāve also had a similar experience and I told my SO about it. I also explained why i have the anxiety of it. Iām not sure how your spouse reacts to open communication but for me, heās very responsive and listens to the best of his ability. If i were in your position, Iād openly tell him āIāve been triggered by our breakup, i didnt realize how dependant i had become on you but i realize now.ā You know you should seek therapy so add that in there, maybe you can both do some research on mental health assistance. it is no way either of your faults that this has happened. Anxiety shows its ugly head when we least expect it but talking about it can help.
I hope the best for you and your spouse.
You need to just be completely honest with him. Secrets breed issues in couples. Keeping it inside will only compound your anxiety.
I would split an move on with my life not worth worrying like that !
Iāve struggled with this pretty much my whole life until I got with my current bf, I realized mine was triggered by being with men who didnāt treat me right and there was always feelings of not being good enough or abandonment. If he supports you and makes you feel secure itāll pass. If not youāll struggle with it until you find someone who makes you feel secure and slowly it goes away. I was always fine when single but every relationship trigger this in me. At one point I lost so much weight Bc I couldnāt even eat anxiety was so bad. Please donāt let yourself go through that, it was me at my lowest. Itās taken about a year but Iām finally over it. Good luck and do what you need to for your own mental health
The only thing I found how to handle it is to leave my kids with someone I trust hole heartedly.
You donāt have separtation Anxiety. You have fear of your man leaving you. Fear of being alone. TALK to him so he can comfort you. He doesnāt know your panicking the min he leaves now. If your supposed to be together than you can find closure in his words. You donāt need a therapist your not crazy your worried your not what he wants anymore. if you talk to him he can either confirm or deny that thatās what he is feeling. Either way you will get the closure your seeking here.
Talk to him. Mine started younger. And it was my mom, I would cry when she left. My thoughts would be what if she got in an accident? It slowly got better through the years, but now Iām the same way with my kids and husband. More my kids then my husband. Talk about it. Tell him how you feel and whatās going on. It will help ease your mind. And fyiā¦ itās not clingy itās a real issue people have so donāt let people judge you for something you canāt help.
Good for you!!! That is amazing. You have just completed the first step towards healing. You have realized you have a problem, and reached out too! You are doing amazing. The next step would be to communicate your problem with your spouse so that he is aware. I understand thatās a scary step considering your condition. It will be ok. He loves you or He wouldnāt have patched things up, right? After that, reach out to a professional. Let yourself heal. I realize I donāt know you but youāre doing amazing sis.
Speak to someone but also communicate, he canāt help you if he doesnāt know.
Girl you need to tell him how you feel!! Donāt bottle it up! That is the last thing you should do!
Itās called trauma bonded &/or co dependent not adult separation anxiety
This is anxiety and you definitely need to work on it and also learn to be happy alone with yourself regardless of having a partner or not. Obsessing over what someone else is doing or not instead of living your life is not a good place to be and until you work this out with yourself no relationship will survive it.
You need to communicate with him and start a new bonding experience, try new things and make compromises with one another. Intimacy, new experiences and rebuild that trust
Awareness is the first step. If you can keep coming back to that awareness you can see what triggers you before you lose it. Iām the same way. I started doing yoga and meditation. Itās helped a lot. I just sit in a quiet room (while my son naps) and I usually light a candle and then I close my eyes and focus on nothing but MYSELF. It has helped me realize what I need to make myself confident and secure. Maybe it can help you too
Therapy and time and if itās too tough? Medication.
Talk to him about it. Yall discuss it so he can reassure you and so you can feel better and have a peace of mind.
Check your insurance and see what it covers. You really need to see someone sweety.
If youāre Iām Canada counseling is free through your doctor
See a therapist honestly might be the only thing to help
That sounds more like extreme codependency, please work on yourself as a person without using him to define yourself, and ignore the advice about having him text or call you with reassurance while heās gone, thatās not his job as a partner/spouse and will only further strain your relationship. 
You can go on YouTube and search for videos. Sometimes they give some pretty good advice on there. I donāt have anybody in particular that I know that deals with that. That would be a good place to find some free coping exercises possibly.
Well I donāt agree with ābreaking upā for a few weeks if yall are married. Married people donāt break up. That was like giving him a free hall pass. I would see a therapist and hopefully you will find some light on this. You are grown and need to start doing things on your own and try to love yourself again. None of that is easy cause I suffer from anxiety and depression as well but if my husband wanted to leave I am all for it
Call the mental health care government agency or check with local hospital for a sliding scale
Sounds like you have abandonment issues that may be unresolved and itās resurfacing now with him after the break up see if you can get into counseling for it so it doesnāt ruin your relationship Iām sorry your going thru this I hope you are able to get help to rid the anxiety and be able to feel comfort in knowing you are together and youāll be 100% okay even if worst case senerio it ends you are still okay Iām sobsorry you are going thru this
Tell him how you feel honestly. Learn to love yourself & spending time on you. Therapy is well worth the money. Good luck
Your relationship obviously isnāt stable. You need to work more on what caused the breakup and stop not talking about it, and or learn how to live independently. I donāt even understand why a person would be dependent on another person. Everyone can and will leave. Your anxiety is about reality. So you need to learn how to be alone.
Girlā¦. Find a good agency that offers therapy on a sliding scale. You deserve it
Clearly you arenāt feeling stable and secure. Call it a day and move on. Stop wasting your time and energy. Stop wasting his time too. Thereās someone out there for you. Youāre spending time with the wrong person
You need to find some inner purpose and joy besides your mate. To end it.
Great way to run him off permanently. No one likes a clingy person
Once you break upā¦ thatās it. Best to walk away now.
You can message me if youd like!i deal with similar.
Iāve never heard of it.
God Sis get you some God in ya life
Iām sorry that your experiencing that I think if you and your husband really love each other and the insecurities are there for the breakup you need to really talk to him and then get a really good hobby and some anxiety books since you say that you cannot afford it really keep reading up on it get a good support system Iām rooting for you and your husbandās marriage and your anxiety to not be hindering you from any success that you have in your life