Could you just tell them that Daddy is sick?
Tell them he is sick but he loves them
Just tell hes sick and getting help
Tell them daddy’s really sick right now. Hopefully he will be able to get better so they will be able to see him one day but until then, it’s safer if they weren’t around him.
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I tell my daughter that he is not ready to be a dad yet and one day he might be ready but, maybe he never will be and that is ok ,that I will be both mom and dad.
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At that age, dad is sick. He is trying to get better. If the father says he wants to come visit don’t tell the kids he is coming. That way if he doesn’t show they won’t be hurt by that.
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My mom used to tell me and my little brother, my dad was sick and was going to have to get better first. I always assumed that he was at the doctor’s. He was an alcoholic.
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I would only say that daddy is sick and until he gets better, he can’t be around. It’s not a lie. Addiction is a real illness. This way, you’re not swaying their opinion and you don’t have to try to explain addiction to them at such a young age.
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He’s sick. As they get older you can start giving them more information. It’s also important to have regular conversations with them about alcohol. It is genetic. I have alcoholism in my bloodlines and I’ve made sure to teach them about alcohol and it’s impacts. I’m a teetotaler for this reason but I tell them they don’t have to be. It’s ok to have a beer or a glass of wine with dinner, just not every day or a case/bottle every time they drink. They will need to be careful about alcohol forever.
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Even at the age they are they see and know something is not right
I grew up the same. My mom told me my dad was very sick but he was trying to get better. It’s just very very hard but it doesn’t have anything to do w his love for me.
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There is Alanon for kids/families in a lot of areas.
Alanon is extremely helpful
Alateen is for the kids
Yeah for you and the children until he gets his act together or have a sober person chaperon. Keep urging him to get help. When the children are older Alanon
Daddy is sick and he is
I’ve learned to say “daddy is sick and can’t care for you unless he gets better, mommy wants him to be better but he can’t be a dad when he is sick in his head” that’s what I say
Dad is sick right now and when he gets better he hopes he can be around.
I told the truth. Dad isn’t healthy. We hope he gets better but his ways are putting us in danger. I never want anything bad to happen to you so I asked Dad to see a Dr. he isn’t ready to do that so he chooses not to be around right now. In the mean time we hope and pray he gets better but realize it’s not our fault or decision.
Even young I told them this. You her than you have. They grew into “we are okay without him. It’s be cool to have a Dad but we have you.” They understood.
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Get them the hell out of there!! You said you lived that life as a child, what are you waiting for?
I am an adult child of an abusive alcoholic. I knew he was a POS from day one. We don’t need to be told crap. We need support so we don’t become like them. Education about addiction in genetics is important. It CAN happen to them, too. So, remember: They are 50% of that person. Don’t preach hate when they’ll think you hate them, as well.
My mom always told me whenever I asked about my dad that he “loves you very much honey, his brain is just very sick. And he needs to do somethings to make it heal”
She never mentioned drugs or anything and let me figure it out on my own in my teen years.
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You said so yourself you grew up in that type of environment what would you have liked to be told ? Speak to the child in you and heal her she also needs love , care and healing . Seek groups that also assist family members of addicts who can give you some great advice and helpful tools . Daddy is sick and needs help try also an intervention with a expert in the subject. As they grow up kids will know dont hide it but this can also be a lesson . Love on yourself and your kids twice as hard . Praying one day he can seek help and reunite with his children 
stay strong momma you got this !
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Best you can do to protect ur children is to say daddy’s working far away and will come back as soon as he can because they r still young a little lie to protect them is OK.
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At their ages, especially if they don’t even really know him or see him are phrases like; “I don’t know” “Maybe” “One day” “We’ll see”. Please always remember they are 50% the other parents DNA. Whatever you say about them will resonate with your child for a very long time. If you can’t be anything…try to be kind. xox
Since they’re so young, just telling them that daddy’s sick might be best. They wouldn’t understand what he’s struggling with (at their age). Prayers for you and your babies.
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So…I’m curious if you grew up with that kind of a father…why did you have kids with that kind of a man? You are every bit as responsible…even more…it was your body you allowed him inside.
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I had the same situation. My kids are grown now. I never bad mouthed their father. I told them about things their dad did, how we met etc. As they got older I let them know more and more about his problems. I was very honest but also balanced the information reminding them about the good things too.
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The truth is the best. It is complicated at times, especially when the children are young. Can say that their dad is sick( you are not liying- alcoholic person - is sick), tell them he is someplace getting help.
“At the moment he’s not well”, or words that express that they can understand.
Tell them that their dad is sick. He had an illness that means he can’t be around them unless he’s feeling better.
Just let them know daddy is sick right now and needs to get better. When he does get better, then he come see you.
At that young age my mom would always tell you that your dad is sick and he’s getting help but that he loves you very much! As I got older I made my own opinions which one always great but I am happy to say that at the age of 24 we reconnected and rebuild our relationship and it’s been better than ever but I accept him for who he is and I don’t expect him to change and we have healthy boundaries but it is great you have that father daughter relationship that I never knew I needed growing up I wish you the best and you’re the mama only you know what is best for you and your children
I always made a point of not speaking ill of my boys dad when they was young even though he would scream and shout at me in front of them (the most they heard from me was he was a doughnut) . As he let them down time and time again I was the one to pick up the pieces.
My 15yr old teenager now has issues. I wish I had broken thier relationship earlier to stop this pain of rejection my 15 Yr old is now going through… I think I would of rathered the resentment towards me than the damage I unwittingly allowed him to cause
The truth. But leave out the abuse. They will figure it out as they get older. Too young right now
Honesty is always best. Kids understand more than we think.
When my daughter was 4 I left her alcoholic father who was also an abuser . When daughter would ask if I still lived her father I told her I loved the part that was her father but not the part that was my husband so when
Ever she did see him she didn’t feel guilty about loving him. It was so hard because I was always worried about his drinking so I often invited him to come and see her at the house but I would leave usually only a short time sometimes I just sat outside. My suggestion is not to talk bad about him to your children my daughter who is now 48 years old always tells me she respects that I never talked bad about him she found at on her own
Go to Alanon. Your kids ARE BEING HURT AND WILL BE HURT. you can’t stop that. You can’t CONTROL anything but you getting help.
Dad loves you but he is too sick to be a parent. Don’t talk negatively about him
your kids father is suffering from a disease called alcholalism, there is no cure but he can learn through 12 step programs to stay sober, i recently calebrated 29 years clean and sober, and ill bet i was much worse than your husband
time for you to go to Al-Non or get out of there before he gets violent…My story
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He has to hit rock bottom to change.
Tell them daddy is not well but he can choose to get better if he wants to! It’s on him then
I would tell them that their dad loves them- he’s just immature.
Always tell the truth
You shouldn’t lie for him . but you shouldn’t make it a trash talking session either. Maybe say something like he just he doesnt have his adult life together and his priorities are mixed up. He loves you but is struggling and is unable to properly show it.
Tell them daddy is very sick and he can’t see them right now but that as soon as he’s better he will. Make sure they are aware that he loves them. It’s not lying at all. Addiction is a sickness. And I’m sure he loves them. This way you hopefully won’t hurt your children. That should suffice for now. If he still hasn’t changed or gotten help just adjust what you say in terms of his sickness as they get older. Meaning explaining what the sickness is. Good luck.
“Daddy is very busy but he loves you” and then they’ll fill in the rest when they get older.
Alco-Teen. Affiliated with AA
Alanon will be very helpful for you.
