Hey guys, I was wondering how I can help my husband with a porn addiction? I don’t think he’ll go to counseling because he seems pretty embarrassed and touchy on the subject. Porn, in general, isn’t an issue. The issue comes from how much time of his it can take up of his, and it isn’t something it seems like he has control over his mom says he had that issue with him as a kid (he would purchase it on the TV, and his parents would find out about it. His mom one time had to take his laptop to get fixed because it crashed, and upon doing that, they found it was filled with tons and tons of porn) he has tried to stop, but he just can’t seem to, so I thought I try and get some advice!
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He needs professional help. You can’t help an addict. They have to want help to begin with.
You can’t do anything honestly. It’s something he needs to do and take care of. And if he won’t seek help, he’s not ready to deal with it.
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If it’s been going on that long it’s unlikely he’ll stop without a hell if a lot of therapy
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Divorce not right this
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You can’t help him. HE will need to do that on his own, when he is ready & if he wants to.
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See if you can find therapists that specialize in men. He might be more comfortable, especially if it’s done over the phone. Does he WANT to change? If not, there’s not much you can do.
Alternatively you can talk to therapists or addiction specialists about the roots of the problem and ways to short circuit the need for that dopamine/serotonin/whatever hit.
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Husband is a porn addict. Caught him soooo many times. Watching it constantly and really changed our relationship. I told him it’s me or the porn. Said I didn’t trust him to stop. He had me put a parental block on his phone. Hides all that stuff. It can be annoying bc it does black some stupid stuff but it’s helped our marriage incredibly. Legit forces him to stop. Less he has other places to get it.
Speaking from experience, my ex husband was addicted to porn along with some other things. Unless he is willing to get the help and willing to work on his problem there is nothing you can do. You can’t force him to get help. But you can keep encouraging him to do so. Maybe in all honesty it would be good for you to seek counseling to help you figure out how to deal with this and have an outlet to talk about it.
Maybe act like a porn star in bed then?
It’s an issue he has to deal with himself if he’s ready to. Same with any type of addiction, if they don’t want help they can’t be helped unfortunately. It’s a matter of how to make it work or re-evaluate your situation.
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Andi Chorley any advice??
There are people who can help who specialize in things like this. He won’t get help until he wants to unfortunately.
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First of all……
why are you seeking help for his porn addiction and not him… smh, that’s a “him problem” not a “you problem.”
Put a parental block on the phone and the computers but if his own mother couldn’t get him to stop how are you he needs to be a man and deal with it is he watching a certain kind of porn teens s&m BDSM gay start looking at to what he watches might give you a little insight
As someone with a “sex/attention/love” addiction the only thing you can do is let him decide if he wants help; if he does, be his biggest supporter and celebrate small milestones! And I mean every small milestone; whether that means he went a day without seeing any naked figure to going an entire week without watching actual “porn” … Celebrate 
Good Luck and Best Wishes! Trust me your husband is already suffering don’t make him feel worst by being mean or even joking about it.
A 12 step anonymous program.
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Does him watching porn make him want to have sex with you more has he picked up any good tips or tricks or does he not even seem like he’s into sex with you
Watch porn with him.thats what i do
. it also helps our sex life… Find something that u both are interested in
.
He has to want the help. Just like any other addition. Because he will have to talk about it at some point. Good luck
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Pray he wants and gets help.
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Good on you for having the strength to stick with him through this I don’t think I’d be able to
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It’s up to him to stop -
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Find a good Pastor to work with him. It can be overcome.
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He needs professional help embarrassed or not
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Does he have any problems sexually can he still get it up have you had any infidelity issues is he a sex addict or was he messed with as a child
I’d say pray for him. Porn is something the devil uses to grab a hold of people and keep them under his wing. Once he finds God and gives himself to God, giving up porn will come easily.
Unfortunately you can’t help him if he doesn’t want or willing to receive help.
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It needs to be treated like an addiction because that’s what it is. If it’s been that long with this issue, it’s not going to get resolved without the help from a professional outside source. Embarrassing or not, I think you need to put emphasis on how it is affecting you and your relationship as well because it seems he knows you’re going to stick around whether or not he changes. If he doesn’t take the steps to get some help then you need to ask yourself if you’re okay with being in a marriage with someone who will spend a lot of time doing this…
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Therapist. They have diff scientific methods for treating addiction
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Is he a good man? I ask because the world is full of narcissist, mentally abusive, alcoholic, or drug addicted people. If porn is his only fault is it really that bad?
Leave him. Do NOT deal with that
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He has to acknowledge that it is in fact an issue. Then he has to want to change. If he can’t talk about it it doesn’t matter if it was porn , shopping , gambling etc. he has to deal with what he is doing and actively work to do something different. Talking is one way of dealing with it, not having a smart phone and access to internet is one way but he should be the one proactive here. Good luck. It can be done but it may take some time.
Honestly if he doesn’t see it as a problem he will never overcome it. He has to see the problem and realize it’s something that takes up his time. Unlike meth or drugs he probably just thinks everyone is overreacting to his porn stash .
Give him back to his mom
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Porn is ACTUALLY and addiction and can be very harmful and destructive to a relationship. They have ministries that deal with this… have you tried to Google “porn addiction recovery” ?
Is he willing to admit that he has a problem?
WHY are people laughing? I’ll never understand some of the hateful women of this group.
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Can you say sex offender coming your way and to your kids 
wake up moms and realize the warning signs
He definitely needs counseling
So nobody is gonna suggest more sex?
Its an addiction when he is really ready he will quit for himself
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It’s an addiction just like any other addiction he needs to seek the proper help through therapy or counseling
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Girl I feel you ! This is my life story ! 8 Yeats of the same thing , the same conversation over his addiction to pornagraphic material .
The lost in intimacy, feeling unloved , not appeicated for our natural beauty . The lies , hiding the truth. But when confronted in denial even tho we have proof , not willing to do counseling , same broken promises over and over again , masterbation is a natural thing to do but in moderation and making sure you partners needs are being met to . I honestly have no advice as I’ve been in this same situation for years , but remember you are not alone .
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15 minutes a day is all I need. It’s not everyday and it’s only when the wife isn’t up for it. Please don’t judge.
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My ex husband has an addiction,he would watch it 17 hrs out of the day. It interfered with our sex life. And I tried “helping” and all that. Didn’t help. He also didn’t want to help himself. Good luck
Try being moor sexey around hem. And then he will be watching you.
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Unfortunately this is something he will need to want to stop on his own… he will not do that until he is ready just try to talk to him and tell him that you support him but would like if he spent less time watching and more time with your family…
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So it’s taking up a lot of his time, am I understanding that correctly? If that’s the only issue it may be harder to get him to see a problem with it. Unfortunately, as with any other addiction it is going to take him wanting to quit. You can’t force him and if he’s unwilling to receive professional help there isn’t much you can do. He will have to decide to get help and quit for himself.
While I understand intervention is sometimes needed, he’s probably embarrassed because you discussed it with his mom. I think that should have been a last resort thing. Just my opinion, but I wouldn’t want to discuss me watching porn with my mother, awkward.
Like any other addiction, he needs help. Rehab, counseling. He clearly needs it since this has been an issue for a long time and he’s not able to shake it himself. Seems silly but there are rehabs for sex/porn addiction. Unfortunately you can’t help anybody who isn’t willing to help themselves.
It’s like any other addiction you can’t help him unless you he wants help the only thing you can really do and it’s not guaranteed to work is to try to make him hit rock bottom by leaving but you have to think about it ityour taking the risk of him just using that to watch more porn
Point is the issue. He needs professional help.
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You can’t help him if he’s not ready… Only him can decide to stop
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You cant help those that wont help themselves
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Sex addition meetings or groups. Addict groups in general are very supportive of sex addiction as an addiction with all the rest. But he has to want to help himself. Just as with any addict. And that means reaching out even if it’s uncomfortable or embarrassing.
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Simple test: allow him to watch porn only if its girl on girl and watch how fast his “addiction” fades away, mild confusion and inadequacy haunts many men with porn addictions, most woman ask is it me when actually its them
Huge trigger for me
It’ll never change so say goodbye, he doesn’t care about your feelings your boundaries or anything else, he has a serious psychological problem. And I know because I went through it and it ruined my marriage and took a piece of me with it that I will never get back
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Is it an addiction, or is that what your calling it because you don’t like it? I’m sorry but men are visual people that’s why they like porn.
I cant stand it so I got nothing. Been trying myself for years to be ok with it and I’m just not. I find it disgusting, fake and unrealistic. I hate and don’t want to feel like I have to be something I’m not. That’s how it’s always made me feel.
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He needs professional help "
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Lost Cause and could care less
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Please PM me I know of a few private/secret groups on fb for partners of this. Pm and ill send you the links to a group where you are NOT ALONE!
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Addiction is exactly that! He needs outside help. Counseling. Addiction comes in many forms and not just drugs. My ex was a porn addict. That’s HARD to live with.
Baby I was out the door. That was what solved that for me.
Unfortunately he has to want to, he has to want counseling. If he does not, it is on him … You cannot fix someone.
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Have a serious talk with him, weather it makes him uncomfortable or not. This is affecting you families daily life. He doesn’t have to stop, but there will be rules.
Ex husband. It was all the time. Back then it was 900 numbers live girls. Hundreds of dollars that we didn’t have. Divorced. Glad I don’t deal w this anymore . It’s no different then any other addiction. There’s help if he wants it
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He has to want the help. That’s step one. He has to be open. A counselor is best. A guy counselor even better so he can see that he isn’t alone. It’s very easy for people to get addicted to porn. Statistically speaking, it’s easier for men. And it’s a real thing and a real issue. But you can’t help him unless he wants to help himself.
But if he does, 1. put a porn blocker on the phone. One of the parental ones that have to have a special password to override. And you have the password. 2. He needs counseling/therapy just like any other addiction. And it takes patience and understanding because it won’t stop overnight.
Making some of y’all’s own content (pics or vids) can help direct him to you instead of others while trying to fight the addiction.
Just know you aren’t alone girl. And y’all got this. Good luck girl!
Tell him to pray about it.
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Don’t know why anyone’s laughing, it’s not funny. Addiction is addiction, period, and porn addiction is recognized as a common one. Get him to seek counseling, you guys can’t get past it alone.
Two suggestions:
- change the passwords giving access to only you
- use parental locks (again with pw accessible only to you)
If he wants to act like a juvenile, and use the “I can’t help myself” lame excuse, then treat him like one, until he decides to grow up, be an adult, and respect you.
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Porn, Food , alcohol, drugs - whatever the addiction is that a person is going through- only they can help themselves. If this is something you cant live with & he doesnt want to stop, maybe re evaluate your future together.
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No one should be getting off on someone who isn’t their partner. Whether it’s on screen or in real life. That’s cheating
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My ex husband was the same way and would leave it up on his phone the tv where ever he watched it and our kids were constantly seeing it I could never get him to stop and that among other reasons was why I left
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You can’t…they done🙄
He needs professional help! He needs to want to stop! Or else he will CONTINUE …its like any drug addiction…he /she needs to want it
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Have him watch John Doyle on youtube he has a few in depth videos on porn addiction and how it rewires the brain.
You can’t unless THEY want to be helped. It is an addiction to the dopamine response of hyperarousal of fantasy. It isn’t about you. Like any addiction, you cannot fix it for someone else. The only help they can get is intervention from a professional who can provide them with tools to escape addiction. You can only offer support if they are doing the work. Otherwise, you need to get out.
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Only they can stop themselves
He need counseling and professional help. You say it’s not an issue, until he no longer wants to have sex with you. No longer wants to do anything in the house with you. No longer looks at you and tells you your pretty or that he appreciates you. You’ll figure it out soon enough, let him go. Lost fucking cause.
He has tonwant the help. If he doesn’t then it doesn’t matter what you say or do because it’ll go in one ear and out the other.
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If they don’t believe themselves that it’s an addiction , they will not care what you think nor want the help to rectify it. You will be wasting your time and will be causing more stress for yourself.
If you have discussed it with him previously and nothing has come of it. Then walk away.
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Porn addiction? You can beat it.
He needs counseling to help
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My ex had this issue, led to him cheating and becoming a diff person. Idk y people act like a p@rn addiction is funny, or has no serious consequences.
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But someone who wants to change will get the help, otherwise you’re wasting your time.
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Soooooo… porn is the issue then. Lol
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He literally NEEDS therapy and also has to actually want to help himself. If he did, he wouldn’t be balking at therapy. So, you probably just need a new husband. Or no husband. That was the better option for me, personally. Best of luck.
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Start going to S-Anon meetings, either virtually or in person. S-Anon is for family and friends of sexaholics. If your husband is willing to seek help, he should attend SA meetings (Sexaholics Anonymous). You can also go to Al-Anon meetings (for friends and family of alcoholics and other addicts) and he is welcome at AA, but I think he’ll feel more comfortable at SA.
I’m curious how old he is. If he’s been addicted since his formative years, that could have longer term effects. I know that he’s unwilling to seek counseling, but you should seek counseling for yourself. This is outside of your pay grade.
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My friend left her husband and one of the huge reasons was because he wouldn’t stop watching it. Unfortunately he can only change if he really wants to.
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He first has to admit he has a problem
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This was one of the last straws in my marriage. It wasn’t that I cared about him veiwing porn it was that he 4got he had an actual wife in front of him.
If he’s unwilling to get professional help there’s really no options.
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You might as well already have your bags packed or his whichever one is leaving that home because all he could use was the excuse of he’s too embarrassed to go. Someone who wants to help themselves would be making a therapy appointment for himself or with you . The only intentions you’re going to get is a bunch of heartache.
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Porn and Masterbation are normal if he’s doing it im a private area what’s the problem
Does it affect his work or your family?
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Does he think he has a problem? If not then he will not go get help. I went through the same thing, he lied from day 1 through 5 years about it, hide it, lie about it, excuses, etc. You cant help someone who doesnt want it or see a problem with it
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You can only help someone who wants help
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He needs to understand he’s one of many. People think it’s funny ~ it’s not. Sex, and the act of watching it, actually stimulates the fk out of the addiction centers of the brain, just like drugs and alcohol. He’s gotta get treatment, orrrrr ~ he’s never gonna be able to fix it.
Fight the New Drug
They are dedicated to this
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More sex lol and a hobby or a job