My head is spinning 
I dont see the problem? Grandparents fsvour thier own . Sheâs not obliged to want time with someone elseâs kids
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Donât fight, tell her to get on board for all those kids or kick rocks
I have been lucky enough to gain two more granddaughterâs that arenât biologically mine, and they call me nanna,and I love them both dearly! I wouldnât dream of treating them any diffrent to my own biological grandkids, they are just kids and the situation they are in is not their fault! Any nanna that treats non biological grandkids diffrent donât deserve the title nanna in my opinion!
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My mom isnât with us anymore but she instilled some good morals into me while she was here. My brother and i have different dads and i remember her always saying âif you give one of my kids something, youâre giving the other one something tooâ and our dadâs families always obliged. This is so sad 
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Hell no. Theres nothing to talk about period ! That is your family. If she canât treat all of your kids the same thereâs nothing to talk about. Cut her off.
She seems like a real cuntâŚ
Heâs only your boyfriend
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When I got with my partner I already had my son and was pregnant again, he never treated my boys any different than as his own, neither did his mum, she said from day one that they were she grandkids, we was worried that when our daughter came along she would be different but nothing changed⌠they are now 21,19and and 16 and the relationship now is the same as it was in the beginningâŚ
Iâm now a grandmother to two amazing little boys, one of which isnât biologically mine⌠but it makes no diffence to me when he call my son daddy⌠Iâm proud to there nanny and I spoil them rotten equallyâŚ
Mum may not like what you have to say but those children are apart of your family and they all deserve to be treated equally.
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Why donât u get married. Totally disgusting
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Yeah Your moms an ass. Blood doesnât make family. You chose to be a mother/second mother to his kids and the same goes for him to your son. Iâve never understood the unwarranted animosity that runs between people and their step family members. More than anything itâll hurt those boys more than anyone when the feel less equal. Obviously your mom is gonna love her blood grandchild in a different way but thereâs no point in treating children like that.
My mother in law took in my 2 daughters as her own grandkids, neither of her sons have any kids and she was always grateful to have my girls call her grandma. My husband and I still have no kids together and wonât as I am unable to. She has never minded it, amd neither did he. I think your mom needs a talking to, they are kidsâŚthey canât choose who their parents are and if my mom were to treat my partners kids that way, Iâd call her out on it as itâs not fair.
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Itâs your boyfriend. Not your husband. If you were married you would have an argument. Thatâs not her grandkids.
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Tell mom to stop being a cunt or she can see 0 kids.
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If you love your bfs children as much as your own this situation becomes a lot less complex. You tell your mom to put up or shut up and then you continue on with your day.
If his kids are picking up on her bullshit behavior and itâs creating a sore spot in your relationship, I donât know why you havenât just put on your big girl panties and shut her ass down by now. Do not put your mother on an untouchable pedestal of confrontation and do not let her toxicity eat into you so thoroughly that it makes you perpetuate her negative behavior. Break that gross ass cycle, youâll thank yourself later.
She doesnât accept all of them, she doesnât get to see any of them.
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I grew up with a stepmother and her family in no way treated me the same as their actual grandkids. I didnât get presents from them. I didnât stay nights there unless it was cuz my dad and stepmother stayed too. My stepmom calls me her kid and my kids her grandkids and treats them the same as her sons. Her family has met my daughter and adores her, if we didnât live in another state they might actually see her. But I have no relationship with them whatsoever other than friends on Facebook. As a kid, I was uncomfortable at their house cuz I didnât go there much and you could always tell they didnât like my dad or my boisterous, no frills family (theyâre all quiet, uppity kinda people in respect). But nobody expected them to treat me the same as far as I know. They didnât treat me bad, just kinda indifferent. My grandparents always got my stepbrother presents but nothing like I got cuz I got spoiled but my grandparents also raised me and knew if they didnât get for me then there was nobody else to do it cuz I didnât know my mom or her family. But they got him presents and he stayed the night with me and even lived there when my dad stepmom did. But even then my grandparents didnât treat him the same as me. He has no relationship with them now and theyâve never met his kids. So to me growing up that way, I donât see anything wrong with what sheâs doing. Theyâre not her grandkids and she wasnât there when they born or saw them grow up and if their moms still involved then itâs gotta be awkward for your mom. And you wouldnât expect their mom or your kids dads to treat your bfs kids or your kids like their kids would you? Thatâs basically what youâre asking of your mom. And people donât realize this, but kids are people with their own personality and attitudes just like adults, so you ARE allowed to not like a kid just because, just like with adults. Iâm not saying thatâs the case but just maybe their personalities donât mesh up either. If you wouldnât expect ALL the grandparents (your parents, his, both sets of youâre kids dads parents, his kids moms parents) then donât expect it of your mom, she shouldnât be required to be more involved with them just cause sheâs your mom and YOU decided to get with a dude who had kids.
Treat them the same or not at all is my way xxxx at end off day they are all Urs and Ur husbandâs kids now Ur all one that how it should be put across to for all Ur families and kids xxxxx
My dad had nine âstepâ grandkids that he never treated differently, not even when he got his first blood grandchild. That type of behavior is disgusting and toxic and she needs to grow tf up before she really hurts those babies feelings
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I. Donât. Like. Your. Mom
Speak up, if you donât speak up and tell her how youâre feeling and how itâs making him and the children feel sheâll continue to do it. Sheâll drive that wedge and a screw over your relationship.
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Toys not withstanding, you & bf should talk to your stepsons. How do they fell? Do they alreay call her grandma? Do they want to bond with another âold person?â Do they understand why things are different? Do they treat each of their biological gp the same. Do they treat each of their friends the exact same. Iâd bet not.
Talk with the 3 boys before u talk to mom.
I dont agree with her being nasty to them or blatantly giving different gifts, but I can kind of see both sides of this. I would not expect my mother or family member to watch children that are not mine. Keeping the other kid away from her out of spite only hurts the kid.
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Your mother sounds like a real bitch and should be ashamed of herselfâŚtell me is mom married or have a bf?..shes your mom tell her to stop her current behavior or shes not allowed in your life anymore period
I understand where youâre coming from, but I also understand her pov considering youâre not married yet. She might not want to get attached to some strangerâs kids that you could break up with at any time. I myself have struggled with getting overly attached to kids or parents that ended up out of my life due to a break up. I donât think itâs fair to force his children on her without at least being married. However, you CAN ask her to buy them all equal gifts so that the others donât feel left out or to be more discreet about her favoritism.
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This is ridiculous people! Itâs not okay for someone to treat kids like crap just bc they feel like it. Yes I will absolutely tell my mom that if she cant be nice to all my kids, then she doesnt see them. I dont care how she feels; itâs affecting their personal relationships & messing with the kidsâ minds thinking theyâre not good enough. Thatâs childish behavior at itâs best!
I got married & moved to the US. My husband has a little girl from a previous relationship. I treat her like MY child whenever Iâm around her. Hell even my family back home (who have never met her or really spoken to her) include her in the family! They always ask me to send them photos of her to hang up and add to the family photo collages. I send them pics & vids regularly of things she does, her reading, dancing recital, drawings she did, etc. and they love that! Its like getting an update from my own kid. She also knows about my family and we talk about them with her. She now has 2 extra grandparents & great grandparents. She loves it when I tell her I sent her stuff to my family.
*and this was something that happened from the START of our relationship. Not only AFTER we got married
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Thatâs mean spirited. I would definitely take her aside and go over that all the children should be treated the same or she can spend less time with them all.
Families are tricky at the best of times but blending two families can be really hard.
Do the boys notice? This is the main thing.
How are his parents with all the children?
Maybe invite your mum for dinner and play a family game involving all the children, ask if she could try and spend time getting to know his boys.
Also maybe stop going over with just yours? It must be hard for all of you so be patient and kind to each other.
Good luck x
Youâve been together for 4 years. I have socks in my drawer older than that. Your mom is doing the right thing by keeping her distance. If you guys break up, sheâll have all these kids that she has no relationship with who look up to her and sheâll never see them again. Maybe things will be different if you get into a real commitment. But a 4yr relationship with the only commitment being you have the same house key isnât enough. I do agree with you tho that maybe your mom shouldnât be buying crazy expensive gifts for one when the rest get none, at least donât intentionally make the others jealous.
Go ahead and put her in her place. You are a family with children. Favoritism has no place here. Theyâre kids for crying out loud. Shame on your mother,(doesnât deserve the grandma title).
When she invites you over say Iâm bringing bf with me too. If she says no, donât go and stand your ground. There will be conflict, let her have her 2yo dummy spit but you are a blended family, she has to realise that. You come as a pair, not single.
GrandmaâŚâŚif thats how she is Iâd cut her off. Sounds like she doesnât have a good heart.
Get married! I bet that would be a big help.
Kids are kids and they all need to be treated the same.
Your mom isnt excepting the other kids and thatâs wrong⌠you and ur boyfriend chose to make things work with a blended family⌠she has to accept them all ⌠favoritism is wrong
I assume because you arenât married she sees your relationship as temporary, they arenât her grandkids and she probably doesnât want to have the kids get attached Incase your relationship doesnât last.
Your mom sucks. Sorry.