My son took on two daughters from his Girl friend we also took them on even when he had two of his own no one is treated differently we love them all they even call us Nan and Gramp and even both of them call my son Dad they were not forced but just did , you should stop your children going to your mums and tell her straight NO more having him and keep to it
I donât understand how grown adults can treat innocent children so differently, both my brothers have partners who have children from previous relationships and they have never been treated any different. They call my parents nana and granddad, we are uncle and aunties and our children are their cousins. They get gifted what the other children would be gifted, because they are our family. My mother in law on the other hand, we have struggled for over two years of my sons life for her to be involved or treated how she would others children. sheâd rather see others children over her own grandson and now granddaughter. We are at the point that we have given up saying something and donât try to make her involved to break our childrenâs hearts, sometimes itâs easier to cut ties then dwell on it and cause arguments. My partner and I have argued many times over my mother in law and now we have accepted the reality that she doesnât care as much as she does about others and we donât go out of our way anymore, we donât argue and our children donât notice!
Try to do whatâs best for you and those children! Some people are just cruel!
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This is how I was treated by my âstepdadâsâ family⌠my sister is 5 years younger than me & was his biological child⌠so when I was 5 she was a baby & when she was 5 I was 10⌠They lived in CA and we lived diff places because we were military⌠But, every time we visited them his mom, grandma & sister treated me exactly how youâve explained⌠The presents thing was spot on too⌠My mom would get so mad. They were married and honestly he turned out to be a monster of the worst kind & was thrown away many years ago when I was a teen⌠Because of what he did, my sister stopped talking to him at all⌠I now have 2 kids with a man thatâs entire family could care less that they exist⌠Yes, they live in our town & they donât even know his mom as their grandma, they know a couple of the 8 siblings as aunt/uncle⌠I always wanted a big family, I have 4 sonâs in total & hope to have tons of beautiful grandkids to love someday!!!
Send ur kids to ur mans parents house while u work.Switch shifts so u have kids day and him night.vise versa.Do not cut ur mother off for loving her grandkids. U didnt mention she was toxic. Yes u all should spend the times together and have them begin a relationship(dad) included.She probably thinks shes helping u and their grandparents are doing their share also. Communication is important. If ur mom doesnt want to have a special relationship w ur step children, would u take what special relationship ur children have w their gram? Both arent fair at all. Good luck!! Start a day and play board games. Be blessed u have her as help also. Its so difficult w blended families
We have a grandson by love and we love like our grands! I would only let her see them at my house with me there. That is cruel and mean!
There are no shortcuts on the high road, she should know the right thing to do to not cause friction or feelings of rejection among the children in the household. She could also be teaching all the kids a valuable lesson. I would get ugly with her real quick.
I can see both sides of this. I tell people I have 2 grandsons, one by love and one by blood. That said, I could see a situation where the kids are treated differently due to personalities, and older kids are more difficult to get attached to also. I really enjoyed my neighborâs 7 year old son until he started misbehaving and being sassy. Now he is only allowed at my home if his father is home so I can send him home when he misbehaves.
Tell her she must treat your children equally or not to come around, that what she does causes conflict
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Stop! This is not good for the kids. Treat them the same or see none of them. End of story!
Not saying your mom is right or wrong .One way to stop what you donât like about your mom is stop letting her baby site then all your problems will be over . Her wanting to spend time with her bool grand baby is her choice. IT was your choice to have a large blended heard. NOT hers.
With everyone saying , but theyâre not married , it may not be serious âŚ
Da ?
They have a daughter together ⌠thatâs as strong a tie there is .
She should set some boundaries .
Hell my brotherâs inlaws not only took in his daughter as their grand kid but my kids call them oma and opa too!
My mothers step dad took on 2 kids and now we are all his grand kids.
You need to sit down with your mother and boyfriend and lay all the facts on the table. If no ones willing to change set new boundaries and limit your mother. If she cant see how shes affecting you and your family then make her see and if she does see but dont care then you need to set things right.
You cannot tell your mother what to do with her money. I do believe you should talk to her and find out why she doesnât want the other kids around (if she hasnât been around them before) and go from there.
First thing you need to do is STOP your son from going there every weekend. You must not let her treat his kids different. They are children they donât understand why they donât get the nice gifts to. You have allowed this behavior of your mother to continue. Your mother is not to blame. You are for not setting boundaries for letting it continue. If his children is not wanted at her house then why in the world would you let your children go there ? His childrenâs feelings matter. You are allowing them to feel not good enough or unwanted. Shame on youâŚ
I am a mom and a step mom, I have always treated our children all the same! I love them all equally albeit in different ways. My two step children now have babies of their own and I adore my granddaughters, they are perfect in every single way ! I would kill anyone who hurt them and I find myself spending more money on them than anyone else these days. I canât say if it will be different if I have âbioâ grandchildren but I cannot imagine it will be. I love all our children and grandchildren with all my heart and you just watch my smoke if anyone hurts them! I was also lucky enough to have had an amazing mother in law who took my three children into her huge heart without question, we lost her in June aged 88 and we all mourn her passing equally albeit again in different ways. She would never make fish of one and foul of another and I will always follow her perfect example !
Iâm going to need info about what she said when she was saying ânot so greatâ things to those kids that keeps leading to fights. If grandma is verbally abusing those poor kids she needs to have her grandma privileges taken away until she can act like a grown adult instead of a passive aggressive child.
I had the supreme misfortune of being that not-so-favorite grandkid and itâs heartbreaking. Theyâre going to ask themselves all the time why they werenât enough. Grandma needs therapy and no visitation rights until she gets it or sheâll continue taking her issues with you and bf out on some innocent kids.
All your kids, all 4 of them, should be respected as her grandkids if theyâre your family. A lot of older generations value biological relation as ârealâ family, which is just an ego-trip. You have a full right to be upset, itâs valid youâve brought this up to her. Sadly, to protect all your kids from growing resentment towards your mother and growing insecurity I would limit her time with any specific grandkid until she learns to at least pretend to act equally towards all of them. Not for her sake, but for the sake of your kids.
Maybe she is frightened of getting to close to them.and you both split up.
All you have to say is that you all come as one package . Maybe if she did spoil them what would the mum say .
Tell her before the kids end up not liking each other!! She will get over it and if she doesnât it will be her loss!!
Can you get a mediatorâŚpriest/preacher/counselor/therapist type person and do an intervention between the 2 of you where someone can independently ask questions and get her to look at how the other 2 children feel? She needs to be made to understand the children need to be treated equally in your household, rather its doing more with the 2 of his or less with yoursâŚit will create jealousy and bad feelings between the 4 later in life if it isnât addressed now.
You should put an end to her taking your son. If she canât accept all of them she shouldnt be around any of them.
Having special 1:1 time with grandma is not a bad thing by itself; but perhaps she could extend the offer of a play date with all of the kids to a group setting like the playground?
I can understand not feeling capable of taking on all the kids at once (she may not be saying it but that might be the root. 1 child is different to manage vs. a group) but I can see where favoritism is potentially going to create conflict in your family unit.
Wow that s exactly what happened with me and my bother whenever we were growing up and my Mom just told my Grandmother who of course liked boys my mom told her if you take him then your going to take her too otherwise he will not be allowed to come over to upur house either think itâs time to set some boundaries forth with your mom she could take 2 kiddos at a time and let her know that thsts appearing alot like favoritism and for the other kidâs they are seeing this for sure and thatâs my take on the situation at hand 
I know the feeling as mine was more the race. My children Caucasian⌠Irish Polish German Hispanic Italian but more light skin blonde hair⌠The rest of the family Hispanic African American⌠My children werenât invited to trips or even received birthday or other holiday happenings⌠We got through it but Iâve isolated myself and so have my children. The paternal grandparents were great not mine. But their conscienceâŚ
For the sake of your family, you need to cut ties with your mother!!!
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Speaking as the one who was that grandkid, cut her off until she can treat them equally. It sucks to feel that lack of belonging.
Be straight forward with her that she canât play favorites, she needs to know she is hurting your feelings when she does this.
My kids own grandmother rarely calls them but spoils her other grandchildren rotten. People dont act according to how they should unfortunately.
No ones imagining how the kids must feel. Some getting presents that are way way bigger secretly for themselves⌠And other kids not getting to spend time with the grandma.
Well technically sheâs not the Nana to your play-play husband kids. If you want her to act like a real grandma then you need to act like a real wife. You and your boyfriend need to stop shacking up! You worried about how she treats the play play step kids but not worried about the status of your relationship in your childrenâs eyes. You are teaching your daughter that it is okay to give up the cow and the milk without a legal commitment. My dear you are worried about the wrong thing. Your mom is not going to come around until you and your boyfriend get married. They (your play-play step kids) have their grandmothers!
It is shocking to me that so many people think emotionally blackmailing the grandmother is acceptable!! She either HAS to treat all the kids the same or she doesnât get to see ANY of them! Really?! How good is that for the grandkids? What happens if they split up and she has divided the family? There are a TON of unanswered questionsâŚhow did grandma get along w the boyfriend in the beginning? Did something happen? How do his kids act? Are they respectful? Do they follow her rules or are they rude? Are these her ONLY grandkids? Did she try to do things in the beginning? How was she during the pregnancy? Does she think heâs treating you right?Have Thereâs always a story behind the story. She started keeping the baby for entire weekends from a young age presumably since heâs only a year old so she has bonded with that baby! And heâs much younger than the others so itâs easy to guess that she takes him so heâs not caught up in the ruckus.
Tearing grandparents out of a childâs life is extremely damaging unless they are a danger. Go do some research.
Simple fix. She wants to see your kids she comes to your house. Gifts are either equal or no one gets a gift. If she doesnât like itâŚtoo bad.
Thatâs not right or kosher
Maybe talk with your mom with a counselor, or pastor , trained conflict resolution person . This way it will not get out of hand and you CA explain how the other children are being hurt . That each child needs to be treated fairly .
If at all possible when your boyfriend is at home leave them all canât treat them all the same donât need them might work tell her the way you feel they are just kids they dont know why they are treated different worth a shot
Youâre a family and a family is a package deal. By her having him so he can be away from them is wrong. Coping skills for him to be a part of the family is more important. IMHO
Kids donât understand this, and they all know what is going. You are the adult PROCTER of ALL your kids. If you alow this to continue you are condoning her treatment of the children.
Try to remember you are speaking for those children now. Stick up for them as if they were your own children, if your not going to who is? Especially to your own mother
Wow some of these comments I would hate for some of you to be in this situation. Either the grandma does for all or none they have been there 4 yrs they arenât going anywhere so be the grandma. they deserve they will live with that favoritism for the rest of their lives and always think why wasnât I good enough or something down the road just be a real woman and treat those kids the way that they should be dang
I personally think that the person who said something about maybe ur mom is worried about getting close to the other kids because u and ur bf arenât married âŚ?? I mean it would make sense if that is really what is going on in ur moms head ⌠but first and far most u mentioned that u have had fights with her regarding this it would be hard to advise u to talk to her without knowing what or how the fight began or escalated what was said how it was addressed etc⌠cuz Iâm assuming the fighting didnât start as a fight it likely began as a talk about the matter in question and then escalated ⌠however either way not sure what u have said to ur mom ABOut but perhaps pull her aside one day and without yelling or being bitchy ask her is there is any reason why she doesnât ever ask or invite the other kids with her ask her how she feels about everything instead of trying to attack her and come at her in a way that she feels backed Into a corner to lash out⌠let her know that u appreciate all she does and ur great That she helps u but just ask her if there is some reason why sheâs seems to be favoring ur kids over the others ⌠unless u talk to her calmly there is no way to resolve it if at least once u talk to her get some answers u will know how to address or make a plan so that no oneâs feelings get hurt and u donât seem like ur UNGRATFUL to ur mom for the help she does contribute and at the same time once u make it a point to hear ur mom out and understand her feelings about it then go ahead and express to her how itâs making u feel and that itâs causing issues and the kids are feeling left out and itâs not fair to put u or them in that awkward place because as someone else said itâs not there fault
Bring it up with her. Put nanna on the spot. Its not fair biological children or not to treat your step sons differently. Children are children and they also notice a pecking order and favouritism. Perhaps keep your biological child at home and send the other 2 over for a visit, let them get to know her a bit. It may be because you send your biological child over frequently and she hasnât got a chance to know the other 2 or send all 3 together. Good nannyâs donât mind as long as they arenât too much.
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This is not ok!! Have you sat down to ask her why she does the things she does and how she feels? Tell her if the other 2 kids were being treated this way by your partners parents and only including his two it would be selfish. Sometimes you have make ppl put the shoe on the other foot to make them understand.
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There are a few things you can do and have control of in this situation. To start with, define your boundaries, due to your need for child minding your mum has taken to look after your biological kids, however, it is you who is allowing this due to your need. Find someone else to do that. If you are a family, when she invites you over to her place itâs either all of you or no one. Seems to me that the issue lies not with the children but with your mumâs relationship with your partner. I understand avoiding confrontation but ignoring the issue will only make things worse. Write her a letter, take the time to think clearly what you really want, set your boundaries and expectations and also what allowances you are willing to make to be fair. All the best, stand your ground, for there to be change, itâs important to get out of your comfort zone.
She would probably take things more seriously if they were married. Heâs likely another âbaby daddyâ in her eyes.
Stop expecting other people to react the way you think they should. You can only control the way you think. You are setting yourself up to be an angry person. Face it!
On the other sideâŚdoes boyfriend parent treat girlfriends boy the exact same as her ownâŚprobably not
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What about your boyfriends mom does she treat the kids equally or treat them not at all âŚ
I see the other two boys as part of the family collective. I think your mum is being a bit out of order. Just my opinion
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You contradict yourselfâŚyou said you get into huge fights about it, then later said you donât like conflict and donât know how to talk to her about it without getting really madâŚSo which is it?
Why should your mom babysit, buy gifts etc for the children of a man that you, yourself, are not even committed to? So she should get attached and spend money on your boyfriends (past, present, possibly future) and their kids? I donât think so. Let his family step up for his kids.
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The bf boys dont need to go to gmas house .thats not fair on your mom !!!
Dont let the go to grannies anymore shes probably not going to change
I would ask her to lunch just the 2 of you. Start by letting her know what a great grandma she is and how special and safe your kids feel with her. Let her know you have noticed she seems cautious with your partners 2 boys. Ask her if she feels like she isnât allowed to treat the other 2 as her own. If she feels that way re assure her that she has permission to be thier Grandma too and that you would love for her to be more involved. If she just doesnât want to include them ask her why. Let her know you view those boys as your sons and feel that they deserve the same love from both sides of the family. Let her know what a wonderful grandma she is to the other kids and that you hate seeing the other 2 boys not have the same wonderful experiences and support from her. Let her know how special the bond is you see she has with your kids and want the other boys to feel included as part of the whole family. How about plan a park picnic with the kids and this grandma. If the boys play sports invite her to a game. Make family shirts to wear with the team colors. Do cookie nights with grandma at your house. Let her spend time decorating cookies with all the kids there. She doesnât have to spoil them with items or money. She can save those expensive gifts for the grandkids of her chosing. But I would let her know you would love to start spending more family time together as a whole. Was there something she used to do with you as a kid that you can mention to her? I loved when we painted together when I was a kid. I know all the boys would have a blast doing that with you too. All you can do is try to understand her side and invite her to be apart of your unit. I would like to add that if you child is her 1st grandchild there will always be a different bond between them. My daughter and her grandma have something very special and unique because she was her first grandbaby. She is ver close with her other grandchild as well, however there is a difference in the magic they each share 
How 'bout you be glad your son has someone in his corner & leave it be? Donât the other kids also have Grandmothers? Maybe they could step up their game, so it isnât falling just on YOUR Mom ~
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Weâre not getting the whole story
Well yall are just dating lets be real and your kid is her (REAL) grandchild his kids isnt. You cant expect her to really do ANYTHING for them since for one they are not her real grand kids and yall aint married⌠really its not her job tbh. Be glad shes actually did anything for them! Why would she even want to spend time with kids shes not related to at all? Yall are just bf/gf yall can break up anytime meaning there wouldnt be any ties at all⌠so i dont even know why youd even argue or get into it with your own mother over a BF and kids thats NOT related to herâŚhow petty. Youll regret all this once or if yall EVER break up! Your mama is your own blood he nor is his kids arnt!!
So I am assuming your boyfriends family takes all the kids too right nothing was said about them?
Buck up and start talking to her about it
She is mean and she knows it!
Soooo Iâm probably going to voice an unpopular opinion but you asked 
My family is 7 years out from an almost exact situation. My sister left her husband of 18 years and they share 3 kids - 13 yr old girl, 12 yr old boy and 8 yr old girl. Sisters new man had grown kids so not an issue. The ex husband had been on our family for almost 25 years and my parents and their family shared 5 acres of land they all lived on. My mom babysat 4 days a week and homeschooled them those 3 days. She was there when the first 2 were born and flew to China w my sister to pick up their youngest daughter. Ex husband and parents stayed very close until. He started dating a woman no one in the family could stand. She brought 3 kids (10, 8 and 4 then) and instantly created division because she expected and demanded that her kids be treated like his by everyone. My family was very polite and tried to be polite but most fell on my mom. She gave all the kids cards w money for every holiday but gave more to her 3. She continued a tradition of taking one of them to their favorite restaurant for dinner every week. She was driving all of them to 3 different schools and picking them up until she finally had it. The other kids refused to follow her rules in her car, be ready when necessary, would pick on the youngest girl and IN the car w their grandma. It went way south from there.
Ultimately, those other kids are not your mothers in any way shape or form. If you hadnât begun dating him, she wouldnât know them. She shouldnât be required to do the same for them that she does for her own grandkids. Gifts are given at the givers discretion:/ If sheâs on a limited income, why should she have to split up what she wants to buy for her grands between 4 kids instead of 2? If sheâs bringing his ANYTHING everyone should be happy because she doesnât have to. Surely they have their own grandparents?! Itâs THEIR job to do for their grandkids. All they are learning from this âeverything has to be exactly fairâ and âgratefulness has limitsâ is that life HAS to be fair and that are entitled to whatever someone else gets. Thatâs what started participation trophies! Teach them to be grateful for ANYTHING they get and not to compare!
BtwâŚfast forward to now: my oldest niece (20)has left her fathers house because he continues to take the gfâs side on everything to keep the peace, allows her to degrade and bully her to the point she was joining the military JUST because she didnât feel welcomed or loved there. She is now living w my mother and has broken contact w her father because he has chosen his gf over his kids. That and the fact that the gf demanded all their quads and quad gear be sold because her kids didnât have quads. Those were 50% paid for by my parents as bday and Christmas gifts but she kept all the money and they put it towards new furniture they would all enjoy. The son (19)is turning into a replica of his father and began treating his gf the same way. He moved out when the gf âaccidentallyâ threw a ceramic pot at his head. The youngest girl (16) has had no contact with her father for 3 years because she had to share a room with the oldest daughter of the gfâs who got into her stuff, stole, destroyed and used up her stuff and when she brought it up to the gf, she was told she was selfish and her father backed her up. Too much of that occurred until a final incident when the other girl found a small chest hidden under my niecesâ bed that contained the very few things she had from the orphanage and decided to use them for hers. The blanket left w her by her birth mother at the orphanage steps was destroyed by the dog they brought w them and she was told she was being hysterical over âsome clothâ. Point beingâŚall of your kids are NOT the same and trying to demand that everyone be the Brady bunch rarely works. They will end up resenting each other later.
And alsoâŚmy mother and I have had a rather up n down relationship we are mending but she accepted my adopted daughter (legally adopted at 9 when her father and I married) after the first time she met her. Why? MmmâŚbecause I didnât ask her to do a thing. My girl was so grateful to be even thought of and expressed it. I made her write thank you notes and call to say thank you. She never asked for anythingâŚ.ever. She acknowledged the birthdays and holidays to the entire family. She never compares what she got to what her brothers got though it was often roughly the same. It makes a huge difference.
AlsoâŚ.what your bf thinks about any of this is relatively immaterial.
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Tell her to grow up!
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Do HIS parents go out of the way for YOUR son? You need to stopâŚthis is your mother and you never get another! Since time began there have always been a favorite in some familyâs donât start a war over itâŚshe doesnât leave them outâbe satisfied!
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She doesnât have to take them 
thatâs her choiceâŚ. And her wanting your child to have quiet time is all good . I said what I said
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To be so obviously spiteful towards children is just nasty! Regardless if those are her biological grandchildren, and yea she is obviously going to have a bond with her own grandkids, and not his but why tf would you want to cause your own daughter to feel like that, make her partner feel like shit and make 2 little boys feel less than! Theyâre babies⌠8 and 9 years old⌠and seeing their siblings get brought things and them just getting left out! Thatâs nasty! Iâm not in that situation but if my children had kids and went into a relationship with somebody with kids the whole lot would all be my babies and Iâd spoil the whole lot! Including my 2 new grandsons! Some people! Toxic af with real issues and regardless id definitely be saying donât be bringing things for 2 kids and not the others! You bring things for 4 or for none!
Sandy Ashley who does this remind you of? 
You can either be a grown up and tell your mom to knock it off, or you can continue to allow her toxic behavior to ruin your relationship. Itâs literally that simple.
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U r absolutely rightâŚand ur mom should be ashamed of herself for treating a child like thatâŚshe should love them all equallyâŚI really donât know what to say if my mom put me in that situation I would talk to her about it first then cut her off completelyâŚthatâs so wrong to treat any child that way
Stop going over to her home dont let her take just your kids. Dont let her hurts your kids feelings nothing she can give you or your kids is worth it. My son married a girl with 2 kids they are welcome and treated like family O would never hurt their feelings they are kids.
Love em all or love none. U donât get to pick and choose.
All I can say all children need love no matter who or where they come from I always have room to love another one. No question asked
Why donât you invite your mom to an outing with your whole family for her to get to know them. She probably doesnât approve of your boyfriend for not marrying you. If something happens to him, you donât get his pension. You donât even get visit him in the hospital if his family denies you visitation.
Boyfriend not husband⌠and you have one child by him⌠I feel sorry for the kidsâŚ
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Are yâall getting married? Maybe sheâs reserved right now. Does his family treat your children as their own?
Itâs time to grow up and choose, because youâre an adult who chose to get with a man with children. If youâre going to allow that evil woman, who is your own mother, HURT those boys who are now your own children, just leave their dad and their lives now, because the trauma from remembering what itâs like to be treated different than your siblings, it never goes away, and it creates divides for your children, because theyâre going to feel like thereâs something wrong with them, because grandma just doesnât like them or love them, and kids arenât stupid, they know so much more than we give them credit for most of the time. I literally had a session about this last night with my own mother and siblings. Your mother has made it clear that youâre going to have to choose to continue allowing her to abuse your sons or protect your sons and your husband by not allowing them to be treated so horribly, and letâs be real, thereâs no such thing as a stepchild, that is a child or children that you promise to be a parental figure to just by romantically choosing to be with their father or mother, and if you canât treat them like your own, do not ever get with a man with children. Children do not deserve to be hurt and deal with toxicity because you canât stand up to your mother, who you know is dead wrong, and until you stand up and defend the family that you, yourself, chose to create, she is going to emotionally and mentally destroy your husband and your oldest sons. Make the best choice for the most vulnerable ones in the situation, protect them, even if that means that you walk away because you want your mother in your life.
The same way you just explained to usâŚ
This woman has to patiently explain to her Mom that she is being a bad Grandma. She is spoiling her biological older grandson and ignoring his other siblings. Yes, those other children from another mother are his siblings! He is but one member of a large family. Either she accepts all of the children as her grandchildren or perhaps she should forget about having a continuing relationship with her biological ones because she is being a bad influence on them and for the sake of her family, as their parent, she make the best decisions for their welfare. If this grandmother refuses to pay heed, then cut her off. This woman can tell her that when her biological grandchildren become adults, they can decide whether they will want a relationship with her.
I had a mother in law like thatâŚ
I got rid of herâŚ
Whatâs dads stand on all this
I would just straight-up tell her mom you are being a heartless b****. These kids have done nothing to you and itâs not their fault their parents are split and this is their situation. Sorry but your mother sounds like a wicked old hag to be mean to children for absolutely no reason other than they arenât her own blood. Get f***ed grandma!
Show her this and talk to her about it.
I have 22 Grandkids and 1 great.9 are blood the rest are step. I would never even think about treating them different. In fact I spoiled the heck out of them when they were little ever chance I had. And I have 3 step children that I love like My own. Would give My life for any of them. When You marry some one Who has Kids they become Yours also.
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Well girl⌠You canât force your mother to like/love grandchildren that are not hers. You are the one that took upon that family⌠not your momâŚ
You are gonna have to tell her straight and be ready to not speak to her again because again⌠You canât force someone to love family is not theirs to love.
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In this case shes being very childish. Either she treats all of the same or she doesnât see any of them. Tough love. Iâm a grandmother her spoils her grandkids if my kids said that to me Iâd straighten up real fast. Good luck.
Ewww this would piss me off ⌠If you canât do for them ALL donât do for ANY ⌠I have two step sons ⌠And two bio- kids ⌠My husband and I have been together 18 years âŚ
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Well your mom has a problem and it will spill into ur relationship if you donât nip that shit now. Either take all or none it is really simple the kids first not her ass. Oh and yes Iâve told this to my mother in law and my step mom before trust me if she really is a good mother and grandmother then she will accept what u say or miss out on the kids growing up.
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Tell her all or nothing, if she canât accept his 2 kids as her grandchildren thats ok but you wonât allow those kids to grow up knowing their 2 other siblings get treated better, so whilst you appreciate the lovely gifts your 2 get, she can stop altogether unless your partners 2 get treated the same, poor kids 
Key word, boyfriend. Maybe she doesnât want to get attached to his two kids in case you two donât work out. Not that I think you have to get married to be a family buy maybe she does.
At the end of the day your son is yours. If she canât treat all your children equally she doesnât get to see them
First of all, your not married. It actually does make a difference to alot of older generation. I was married yo someone with 2 kids and I had 2. My mom only gifted them on Christmas. No one was upset by that. His mother was the same way. Alot of people are like that. Donât push his kids on her. You will lose. And if she hasnât spent much time around them there is no connection. Us older folk view marriage as a commitment. Very possible why she does it. You arenât totally committed. Too easy to walk away from each other without ramifications. No one wants to get invested emotionally to then have them walk away. I would feel that way too. Sorry but I was born in the 50s and thatâs how I view it
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I was the victim of this growing up. Itâs TERRIBLE and make YOU a terrible mother for allowing it. Itâs called BOUNDARIES. Learn the term.
Maybe if you let her know ,the other kids feel left out . She might change . Donât fight just tell your kids to ask your mom if they could stay with her sometimes too
Sorry but they should all be treated the same. Myself and my hubby have a son together but I have 2 older kids, my oldest sees her dad but my other son has never seen his dad (me and hubby been together since he was 1) my inlaws treat ALL 3, EXACTLY THE SAME! X
Be straight with her. If she cant have the boys she does not get your child. She is being a bitch
Itâs a simple as when she drops the 2 kids off with stuff you say thank you but that is not allowed in our house if you didnât get a gift for everyone then no one gets gifts unless itâs on birthdays or Christmas. we dont play favorites in this house they are all my kids stop disrespecting them just because they arnt my blood and i choose to love them. then i would just cut off contract for a little no calls no text no being able to see the grand kids. sheâs acting like a child shes ganna be treated like a child
Well it doesnât sound like that much of a problem. You didnât the say the kids fight about it , or you and boyfriend. Just let grandma do her thing.
Straight forward and with no filter.
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When she brings abd buys gifts for only one throw that gift in the trash tell her stop wasting her money they all gets gifts or no body gets gifts tell her learn to be fair with all children plain and simple you put the law down on this now.
My mom loves all children,biological or not. So many of my close friends children call her grandma, and if she gifts one, she gifts them all.
Plain and simple. She doesnât have to take them or do for them if she doesnât want to they arenât her bio grandkids
My mother doesnât see my sons but 1 time a year, and thats on her for maintaining a grudge against their mother