Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to keep hope after loss and not becoming parents?
Is IVF an option? Thatās what I had to do.
I had 10 losses the furthest being 17 weeks along 
that lasted for over 5 years, a different partner later and boom I now have 3 womb fruits 
It all happens for a reason !
I also have pcos severely and am a diabetic
Never give up if its in ur heartā¦pcos, thyroid and many other issues here tooā¦Cyster it took us 7 years before we had our miracle. Dont focus on negative, think of all the positive
I would definitely recommend going to see a grief/couples counselor. You are so strong and amazing and I wish you all the best mama
Thereās also IVF but I do recommend maybe counseling or therapy to work thru the emotions. Itās not easy.
If trying again isnāt an option, there is always fostering or adoption. So many children need a loving homeā¦ Youād be getting the family you want while also changing a childs life.
Thereās more than one way too become a parent. 
My sister in law is going through the same thing. She had a miscarriage in the first trimester with her first pregnancy in 2015 and then finally got pregnant again 2 years ago and the baby wasnāt doing good at 20 weeks and the hospital she went to didnāt have equipment to save him so she had to give birth and he lived for an hour before he passed away. She has diabetes and a negative blood type and her husband is positive and she feels like itās never going to happen. I feel so bad for her. I wish I had advice that felt like hope. Donāt give up, and stay strong for each other. It will happen for you.
I donāt know if this helps, but Walgreens sales a pre-pregnancy lube that helps get pregnant. Iāve had customers actually buy it then a few months later come back & say their pregnant.
My husband and I got to a point to where we said if it happens it happens. Then we relaxed by joining a bowling league and it happened.
Relax and have some fun, donāt think about getting pregnant, and it will happen.
Has your husband ever taken a fertility/ sperm count test?
Also i dont know if any of your doctors have recommended it but doing the infamous keto diet has been said to work some crazy miracles.
Have your obgyn check for blood disorders.
Have both of you checked.
*Factor V Leiden mutation
*Prothrombin G20210A mutation
*Methylenetetrahydrofoate reductase C677 (MTHFR) mutation
*Antithrombin III (AT III) deficiency
*Protein C deficiency
*Protein S deficiency
Donāt loose hope anything is possible.
My friend suffered fertility problems PCOS an other issue for many years of trying she had a few losses an she recently had she arrived earlier than expected sheās ok tho an sheās home with her parents.
Consider becoming foster parents 
Never give up. You may be being tested for what ever reason right now but your time will come. Keep your faith!
I also had PCOS
Iām a bio mom of two
8 years apart, in between I miscarried. Then I adopted 5 in a 9 month period (4 separate adoptions) then everyone said watch you get pregnant. I was pregnant at the adoption of #5 with my rainbow 
baby. Two years later adopted #6 ALL GROWN NOW (31-21) DONāT LOSE FAITH!!! It will and can happen in miraculous ways GOD BLESS & GOOD LUCK
Praying 
for you
I had 6 miscarriages and a still birth at 9 months. I thought it was all my fault. I seen doctor after doctor. Finally found a woman doctor who listened to me not like the others. She actually listened. I fought and had one son. Sometimes it happens when we least expect it to.
Please donāt give up!! If you arenāt able to conceive thatās part of gods plan for you, itās not his way of telling you not to have kids itās his way of telling you there is a child/children that need a loving parent just like you. Iām so sorry youāre going through so much with this, adopting or fostering is so important and I really think god has that planned for you. Iām sure youāll be wonderful parents I hope you get a little one soon.
I think you need to see an alternative type Dr and get you and your husband nutritional at your bestā¦get your hormones balanced. You might be surprisedā¦
My husband and I tried for literally 20 years. Has many losses including our stillborn daughter at 38 weeks 5 days. We finally got answers. It was simply taking extra folic acid, 2 baby aspirin a day and progesterone. We finally have a beautiful rainbow baby. She is 16 months old now 
I hope you find answers!!! Good luck to you!!
I suffer from pcos, diabetes and underactive thyroidsā¦ i had my first when i was 19 and my 2nd was difficult to concieve at the age of 29 but then got pregnant and miscarried on mothers day and then i fell pregnant 1 month after my miscarriage my 2nd is my rainbow babyā¦ I had gastric banding to help with my pcos and diabetesā¦
My mom was one of those like youā¦ a few miscarriages and she adopted me and a boy when I was 5. She went on to have 2 boysā¦ the last one a change of life baby. Become foster parentsā¦ a lot of times the kids are foster to adopt. Donāt be stuck on having a baby. Older kids ( over a year) need parents too! There is more than one way to become a parent! My adoptive mom was my world. Iām 63 n even tho I met the bio mom n dad ( long story but I was lucky she gave me up!) my adopted parents were my parents.
My cousin had a baby after 8 years of trying and fertility treatments! Donāt give up XOXO 
Please donāt give up on conceiving a baby , may I recommend you and him eating lots of pistachios and nuts ā¦ People had said I am crazy for saying this , yet I have a nephew whoās wife went through this same problem .
I told her about pistachios and eating lots of nuts everyday and try not to think about it and bam they had a son and 3 years later they have a girl .
The only advice I have is to stop ātryingā. I had 7 miscarriages before finally having my baby. 10 years, 7 pregnancies, 3 of which were twins. Itāll happen, Mama. I know itās hard. I was taking tests monthly trying to get pregnant and stay pregnant. Try to stop stressing over it and give your body time to let it happen 
I was told I could never have kids due to heart defects, radiation exposure from xrays before drs really learned to cover the goodiesā¦ And endometriosis, and thyroid issues and I have an 8 year ole son. The pressure of trying, anxiety and stress can hinder chances as well
Get grief counseling. Thatās a lot to handle for both you and your partner.
Join resolve.org to find people going through the same thing.
Invite children into your life through teaching Sunday School, volunteering at a day care/nursery, seeing if there are single moms who could use a break, being a coach with the Boys and Girls Clubs in your area, being a Big Sister & Big Brother, sponsoring a child in another country and corresponding with them. I recommend Towards Educating Americaās CHildren (TEACH), www.teacham.org. They do so much good for the poorest kids & you get one to folllow & can visit them on a mission trip.
Do something completely different with your partner just for fun. Take a metalworking class, learn to speak another language, travel someplace exotic (with COVID precautions), take up skydiving, do laser tag, try ice skating or rollerblading, learn to play the harmonica, take a hip hop dance class, go paddle boarding. Get completely out of your head.
Then, whenever youāre ready, if ever, try again.
Iām so sorry for your losses, and will send a prayer to the universe for you.
I havenāt been in the infertility path, but I did miscarry my first. What I learned from my experience is to ALWAYS remember that you are BOTH experiencing the loss, but it will not be the same. Not only did you both experience the pregnancy differently, you both have a different way of processing emotions and trauma. You need to grieve your loss your own ways but then find a path forward, together, through communication. Sometimes that takes couples therapy, but the path to communication is absolutely necessary. He canāt be afraid of saying something that will upset you, and vice versa. You need to heel before you can move forward in your marriage.
Only after youāve come to a place of heeling can you take the next step towards what your future family looks like. You cannot do one before the other or they will both implode.
Please seek another dr opinion and try alternative therapies such as naturopath and acupuncturist specializing in fertility. I had many miscarriages before I changed dr and she figured out how to help me and what my body was doing. I also found a fabulous acupuncturist. Between the two professionals helping I was able to carry two rainbow babies to full term. My prayers to you.
Dont give up. Miscarriage kinda runs in my family. My mom had 2 my sister had 3 and I had one. Its such a hard thing to go thru. Devastating honestly. But just from this post alone I can tell you will be a wonderful parent someday. So please donāt give up. The world needs more parents like you who are willing to go the extra mile for their children. Someday soon you will have a child of your own.
Meghan Gene Melissa Ann Jaeger
When itās your time it will happen. It took myself and my husband 20 years to have our second child. We both thought we were done. itās not over till the Lord says so If you stop trying it will happen all in time as planned by him.
Definitely grief councillor then take a holiday. Relax i know its hard ive been there but it works. You will be a mom well you already are but see that councillorā¦good luck
You can try to adopt a older child - babies are in demand, but many older children are available.
Endo and PCOS here:
Find a doctor that wonāt stop searching for answers. It took me three surgeries and multiple miscarriages but finally I went for a second opinion. She discovered I wasnāt ovulating regularly on top of everything else. By figuring that out we knew which direction to go and got on the right meds to help me. It took seven rounds before I had a viable pregnancy but that baby is now 11 and I am so thankful.
I agree with others. Counseling is important. Infertility in itself will cause a strain in even the best of marriages but when you add to it the grief of losing a baby, you canāt expect to process that on you own
I prayed to Virgin Mary as she knows how it feels to be a Mother.
I got pregnant and a vision of Virgin Mary showed up on a tree, one block away Southeast from where I lived!
There are many siblings available, if you are able.
I have endo,pcos, a throid issue, and Diabetes, after my 1st born, we miscarried twins 2 years later at 6 weeks. My doctor told me I would never have anymore kids due to all the hormone issues. 5 years later my doctor told me that someone who had a tubal had a better chance that I did to have more kids, and he also increased a medication that I was one, a few months later I got pregnant! Then several years later, I was once again told no more kids after having a heart attack, that I had more testosterone than estrogen. Increased my meds (same one as last time) and 3 months later was pregnant!!! I later found out this Diabetic medicine could also be used as a fertility medication, surprise!!!
My daughter miscarried 7 times 1 still birth at 20 weeks. Then a Dr told her to take folic acid a large dose and prenatal vitamins and bam 33 and has 4 kidsā¦ You mite try
Honestly I was always told once you accept where you are in life and be happy without children is when you will have them. I had multiple miscarriages and then had a baby at 36. I was finally ok with just being a fur mama and was happy and content with my life then I got the biggest surprise ever. I was worried of course when I got pregnant with my daughter but I didnāt allow myself to get stressed. I spent a lot of time outside lol. I know itās hard and I know that hopeless, longing and agonizing feeling, Iām so sorry you are going through all of this. I wish you and your husband the best of luck
You ever consider a Surrogate?? 
Hang in thereā¦ Adoption is great too! Prayers 
We struggled with unexplained infertility for six years after a miscarriage. I went to a variety of doctors, naturopathic doc, acupuncture, supplements, etc. I was so mad at my body. Hubby got tested, all good there. We talked about foster-to-adopt. Then, out of the blue, we ended up taking in my six-year-old nephew whoād Iād only seen twice before. We ended up being able to adopt him! I tried again with a new OB trying to get things figured out. I was in tears in her office as she told me I had no business trying to get pregnant (overweight and type 2 diabetic). She gave me Rx for medications you canāt take while trying to get pregnant and talked me into scheduling an IUD appointment. At 39 years old, I was heartbroken. I thought my time had passed. I started doing some research about controlling T2D with diet (therapeutic LCHF/Keto). I cancelled my IUD appointment and didnāt fill my prescriptions. Two months laterā¦ two pink lines!! God is SO good!! Pretty healthy pregnancy other than having to be on injectable insulin for a short time when management with diet needed a little help. I was regularly monitored throughout my pregnancy because of my age and the diabetes. I strongly believe āunexplained infertilityā can be linked to metabolic issues/insulin resistance, which can also be linked to PCOS. I recommend researching low carb/high fat or keto diet to see how it may improve your situation. Thereās a reason many women in the keto/LCHF communities are having improved fertility! 
Have you thought of being foster parents? There are lots of children who need a home.
Keep trying. Keep praying. I prayed for a baby for yrs. At 35 after 14 yrs of trying I got pregnant. It was a high risk pregnancy. I had to have a unplanned csection and he was born not breathing. He spent 9 days in the NICU but God answered my prayers. Its not our time but His. My blessing will 6 yrs old next month.
I know this might not be the norm but have you ever looked at both your husband and your diet at all? I had trouble getting pregnant but when I lost weight and started eating better I fell pregnant. I too have lost/ miscarriages and also have had an ectopic pregnancy as well. Just food for thought. <3 Wishing you well in your journey!!!
My children are sixteen years apart donāt lose hope I have pcos as well and was told I would never have more children had my daughter when I was sixteen and then developed pcos with several cyst and fibroids in my ovaries and a thyroid issue fast forward after me and my husband got married in 2017 I was put on metformin for my pcos and then I started chlomid first round one pill and then second round two pills twice a day and ended up pregnant and now have a 3 year old son I had lost all hope as wellā¦ adoption is a wonderful thing many babyās need loving homes but itās still wonderful to have given birth to your own blood children Iām sure so sending baby dust your way never lose hope try the medication keep trying for adoption find a surrogate to help you 
sending prayers
Mountain meadow herbs online has a fertility herbal blend, try that.
Unexplained infertilityā¦ sounds like you have several explanations for itā¦ Honestly since this is anonymous idk how large you are i had weight loss surgery I was over 400 and it reversed my pcos where i got pregnant without help after 10 years of trying about 5 months before my gastric sleeve i had a dnc because i had an overgrowth of endometrial tissueā¦ it wasnāt quite endometriosis yet but would have got there ā¦ I think the combination of those 2 things helped me conceive i have a 14 months old now and am due again in Januaryā¦ I think you should find a new fertility specialist and look at other avenues to increase your fertility ā¦ baby dust your way
.
Beat fo speak to your dr on this and i have a friend that has had a few miscarriages and has thyroid issues and had to have injections done to be able to fall pregnant
at 19 I was told I could never have children. I had so many surgeries, thyroid, endo, so many and when I got pregnant later in late 20s was told miracle, it was not easy and then I had another third one did not make it as I had to have everything removed. I did foster care and loved many children. open your heart and stop trying
Try the one a day fertility vitamins partner pack. They may help!
Never give up find someone that would be whiling too Carrie a childfor u
You wanna not be sad and save the marriage? Good luck.
Hey, donāt give up on ur dreams,
I recommend acupuncture but if u do let them know its for fertility,
as my doctor told me when I was 16 yrs old best I get a career as ill never be able to have child & today im 44 yrs and have 6 beautiful children.
All the Best & sending loads of positive luck to u an ur hubby.
Stop going to the doctors
Itās causes stress upon you
Iām so sorry!
Please see a Functional Medical Doctor
Look into EDS/Thyroid issues (Do Not Believe your primary doctor when youāre told Everything is fine/normal)ā¦bet it isnāt.
Losing even just 10% of your body weight drastically increases your chances of getting pregnant also if you havenāt: look into pre-seed and myoisonitol (Iām sure I spelled that wrong)
YOU GUYS GOT THIS!!! sometimes it takes time Iām so sorry for your losses, I lost my son 4 years ago in the 24th to stillborn and it was crushing never thought Iād have a another child but 3 years later my boy sent me his sister, it will happen it takes time please donāt lose hope youāll get the beautiful family you deserve prayers for you guys and the family you want to create I wish you the best just keep that head up
Eat blue potatoes, Every night for one month. Donāt ask any questions, just assume it will provide a hormone and follow directions.
I have all 3 conditions as well, I actually have no thyroid, I have been able to concieve 5 times, one miscarriage. Currently pregnant with my 4th. Have you tried having the endometriosis scraped out to reduce the cells? I had that done, I also gave up sugar completely. Diet and exercise are literally the only thing that can help reduce PCOS symptoms even if you donāt lose weight trust me I know how impossible that is, just eliminating sugar and reducing carbs can help tremendously when it comes to achieving ovulation. Also light exercise literally just a walk for 30 mins a few times a week. I have always been able to finally get pregnant when Iāve lost some weight by being my most healthy.Also see an endocrinologist if you donāt already. They can mange both the thyroid and PCOS. They need to run your labs and make sure your levels for everything look good. There are some natural supplements that are great for PCOS you can find them easily with Google I take those and multivitamin. Also metformin can be beneficial with PCOS and help ovulate/ get pregnant. It seems like a lot of hoops to jump through but I have 5 pregnancies to show for over 16 years of time I spent trying or at least not protecting against pregnancy. Donāt lose hope
Look into long term foster care that has the option of adoption in the future. It might be the quickest and easiest way to bring a child into your life and help take a child out of the foster care systemā¦ As alot of children are in the fostercare system who can never return homeā¦ Good luck!
Going to sound stupid but have a look into a ketogenic diet for fertility I know so many people it has helped including myself with all of those issues xx good luck
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to keep hope after loss and not becoming parents?
If you havenāt already, I would encourage you to look into fostering. There are hundreds of thousands of beautiful children just waiting for a loving, safe environment. My sister has 5 children: all adopted from fostering. They are a rowdy bunch, but very sweet and we love them. They are ours now. Something to think about. Good luck
Grieve your babies. Plant a tree, and allow yourself the time to grieve. Work on your marriage and the if you want to try again
Not sure if youāre religiousā¦but all I can say is trust gods plan and his timing ā¦many people canāt conceive although it isnāt fair thereās also plenty who can and who do not have the means ā¦adopting is a good idea ā¦whatās meant to be will work out at the end
I have pcos and hypothyroidism and was told I could never have babies. I have 3 beautiful babies all because my dr was extremely knowledgeable and our me on metformen. I know endometriosis is an added factor but if you havenāt tried metformen itās worth a shot.
Also, you have every right to grieve your babies you lost. I love the idea of planting a tree in memory of your angel babies
I hate to jump straight to this, but if you and your husband can afford it, maybe you can look into surrogacy. I have been a surrogate 3 times and it is such an awesome experience.
Whatās ment to be will always be. I never wonder what if, or get stuck on what happened because you canāt change it. Stay positive and trust it will happen when itās supposed to.
Loss is incredibly hard believe me Iāve been there too. Iāve given birth at 17 weeks (no heartbeat )and miscarried at 10 weeks (no heartbeat). Just keep trying. I pray that your blessed with your rainbow baby. We have 3 amazing boys.
Couples counseling will help and individual too and talk to each other be each otherās comfort try to do something fun like watch a funny move or a comedy if you need to cry just cry watch a sad movie write a letter to both children you lost it will help keep them in your memory but also helps keep your thoughts in a save place make a memorial for them itās ok to talk about it itās part of healing Iām so sorry you both are going through this dont give you it will be your time soon 
sending love and light and healing energy to you both side note: walking helps keep busy enjoy the warmth of the sun the flowers that smell good the crisp air on your face it will get better
Positive out look
My daughter became pregnant 1 child died at birth, after multiple miscarriage and 15 yrs later she had a baby , then blest with another
Do you see God blesses us in time
They have something called progesterone that helps Iād ask about it plus something called maca root you can buy at Walmart it will make you very fertile
I ended up pregnant a month after taking them
I know a couple that had yard sales and benefits to help with the cost of adoption or suragasy (?) Sorry for the spelling
Honey it took us 14 years donāt give up.
Maybe consider surrogacy, my husband and I are. Sending hugs. 
Try going gluten free and talk to your dr about progesterone
My husband and I tried for 8 yearsā¦ I have pcos and diabetes, along with (at the time) my uterus was tilted and nothing happenedā¦ it finally did. It will happen. Sorry for the loss of your little one! Prayers for you!
I know everyone says this, I believe it in my heart. When god is ready to bless your womb it will happen. Itās when heās ready not when we are, until that day comes adopt a child who needs parents with the amount of love you both have to give.
Please make an appointment to see Emma Sutherland from studio you in Sydney (can do phone consultation)
PM me for more infoā¦ I have everything youāve just mentionedā¦ and pregnant with Bub #6
May God answer your prayers please donāt give up
Sweetie I have all the above I also have graves disease and addisons disease all un diagnosed at the time we tried for 8 years told it was never going to happen fertility treatment after treatment we got lucky and adopted a baby at birth and when she was 4.5 months old we found out I was 14.5 weeks pregnant so keep the faith hunny
Foster Care or foster to adopt
Is there a trusted friend or family member willing to carry a child for you?
Honey, you have options. Donāt give up.
But you adopted, so you are a mom!
Kaitlynne Benton maybe you could give her some encouraging words since bith your babies are miracle babies 
she has gone through this and she the best person I know who can help you on your journey
My husband and I tried for many years and went to a specialist but no luck having biological children. We ended up adopting 3 kids out of fostercare. It was a long hard journey , but ended up working out. It is hard to not lose faith, but please donāt give up. It just might turn out to be even better than you could imagine
Maybe adopt an older child and not a baby. Or even siblings.
Just stop trying love. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your husband. Have fun and donāt think about it. I had 2 losses and was done. It broke me down. So I decided I wasnāt meant to be a mom. I gave up and had fun and now here I am a few years later Momma of 2ā¦ if you get pregnant again ask about progesterone shots. That is what they gave me to finally be able to carry to term.
So soooo sorry to read this and the loss of the baby you were to adopt 
There is hope though. My brother and his wife tried for years and years ( they both had different medical problems) At that timeā¦20 years ago, they had 11,000 left in their savings. My brother decided to take his wife to England because she always wanted to go. But, some new procedures came out and they spent the money on that instead. And guess what? It worked 
Their daughter is now 21. I believe things happen when you finally realize it may never happen and your body relaxes.
Best of luck to you and your husband ~
Prayers
I was diagnosed with PCOS and told I would likely never have my own biological children when I was 23. I adopted a low card diet (which is harder for me than most because Iām a vegetarian), and started an exercise program hoping just to get the PCOS symptoms under control. I went back for more tests, and was told once again that I could try fertility meds but getting pregnant naturally on my own was likely not going to happen. I was actually 2 weeks pregnant at the time, it just didnāt register on the urine test. Gave birth in 2015 to my oldest beautiful boy. I figured he was a miracle, and I was grateful beyond measure to have him. With zero trying, we found out just after Christmas in 2016 that we were expecting again. Gave birth in 2017 to our second beautiful boy. After his first birthday, we tried again for awhile for another, but it just never happened. I had my boys, and I was beyond thrilled with them. We decided earlier this year that my husband was going to seek surgery to prevent any further pregnancies. Just before his appointment, I found out we were expecting, again with zero trying. Baby is due this coming Saturday. Truly, the stress of trying, on top of the symptoms of PCOS kept me from getting pregnant sooner. Itās much easier said than done, but give yourself permission to stop trying. Treat your illnesses for yourself, and for a better quality of life. You may get your miracle when youāre least expecting it.
My husband and I tried for 7 years to get pregnant. Also undiagnosed infertility. We did everything short of invetro. I also tried diet changes (both him and I) and acupuncture.
I finally had to let go and realize, whatever was going to happen was out of my control (super hard for a type a personality).
So we fostered and adopted two boys that way. Then I got pregnant twice and have two more sons.
For our case, I think minimizing that stress and pressure to get pregnant is what eventually helped us.
Like someone saidā¦try having uterus scrapedā¦start prenatal vitamins and maybe some hemp oil if canā¦also use preseed and just stop trying. Another thingā¦can take a teaspoon of turpentine 2x a week and is supposed to diminish cysts and endometriosis in uterusā¦just tastes like taking pinesol. Lol.
Dont use any bc and just dont worry about it. Make sure on a hormone for thyroidā¦im on levothyroxine as my thyroid doesnt workā¦and just try living daily life and not stressing. Stop drinking caffeine and switch to fruit juice,powerade or gatorade,flavored water,and regular water. More fruits and veggiesā¦cut back on fast food if eat it a lot and start eating more baked or air fried foodsā¦See how that goes. There is always asking a family member to be a surrogateā¦i offered to do it for a friend but her and her fiance broke up,so now im doing it for an agency. Can also foster with attempt to adopt after couple of years. Dont give up.
Maybe u should find a surrogate
Has hubbyās fertility been checked?
Just to be like 100% sure
I was married 18 years the day after I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. Heās sitting at my feet right now learning to crawl. Never give up! I adopted before I thought I couldnāt have kids. I have a 30 year old and 4 grand kids older than my son. I was 42 when I got pregnant. Gods timing not mine.
My beautiful daughter-in-law and son tried 2-3 years for a baby. She found out she was diabetic and she lost quite a bit of weight. She also had pcos , but after losing weight she became pregnant very quickly
My dr. Prescribed Metformin for my PCOS. At the time with my job and school, I was under quite a bit of stress and frustration with not getting pregnant just aggravated things I think even moreā¦I took the medication for a month, and decided not to focus on getting pregnant and deciding if it was meant to happen it would and within a month of taking the medication I was surprisingly pregnant. I went on to have 3 successful pregnancies and after the 1st did not need the metformin any more. Best of luck to you, donāt give up on your hopes. Stress wreaks an awful havoc on our bodies too!