Seeking advice on boyfriend treating me badly.
Hi. I was wondering if I could ask for some advice?
Little back story. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years. He used to be the sweetest guy ever till last year when I got pregnant. He accused me of cheating because he “couldn’t” have kids. (None of his exes ever got pregnant so he assumed it wasn’t possible ) Then he started the name-calling. Then I got pissed off that I had to quit my job at 3 months pregnant because it was a complicated pregnancy. (I was already dilating and contracting). We got into a huge fight around 5 months along. He told me if I was to try to leave him, he would beat my stomach till he killed the baby then would kill me. Terrified, I stayed. (I had no support people around me to help). Fast forward, my baby is 3 months old. He is still an asshole towards me because through my pregnancy and after having a baby (via c-section) I couldn’t deep clean the house or take the dogs outside to go potty. I can do all that now, but he still bitches about stuff not being clean enough. “You sleep all the damn time.” I honestly don’t get any sleep but short little naps throughout the day. But, here’s what makes things worse. 1. He gets pissed off when the baby cries. He tells me to make baby shut up. 2. He never changed a diaper or fed baby. (Even after c-section I had to do it all alone) 3. He keeps talking about bringing another girl home. How he likes certain girls (nothing like me) & has been “helping a coworker fix her vehicle” for the past few weekends. I want to leave. I have somewhere to go now. But, I don’t know how to tell him I am taking the baby and leaving. (He’s not on the birth certificate) Advice on how to tell him? I’m afraid he’ll hurt me or himself when I do leave.
Dont tell him just go also if you have proof of threats go file emergency restraining order for you and baby.
Wait til hes gone pack enough clothes for 3 days and enough baby items and walk out. Dont tell him
Don’t tell him. He’s not on the birth certificate he has no rights and even if he was, the judge would agree with you if it came down to it. Send him out to get something from the store and pack you and the babies stuff that you need and go!
Just leave and find somewhere safe where he won’t know you two are…
Don’t tell him just leave.
I agree. Wait till he’s gone. Take what u need and go!
You don’t tell him.
You make a plan to leave when he is not home. Or call the police to escort you out, and seek a dv safe house/shelter , if you have no family.
Don’t tell him. Get a police escort out of your home with your things so you can get out safely and file for custody of your child. He is not mature enough for children and sounds like it could be dangerous for you and your child to stay.
Leave! File a protective order and don’t look back!
Don’t tell him. He won’t hurt himself, he will only threaten it to manipulate you. But he might hurt you or the baby. Leave leave leave. Go to your parents or a friend who will protect you. Do not let this man anywhere near your baby.
Wait till he is at work pack yer bags and baby’s stuff then run for it … don’t tell anyone where your going but inform the police and take it from there…
Don’t tell him. Wait until he’s gone. Have a plan of where you are going. Tell the police what’s going on. Maybe they can help you find a safe place so he doesn’t try tracking you down at family or friends homes where he might know you’d go.
Wow. Sounds like what I dealt with. If u got a place to go, pack a bag pack babys things and once he leaves for work or even to help this girl with her car then go.
Don’t tell him. Just pack up and go when he’s not home and leave a note that if he contacts you that you will press harassment and abuse charges.
Wow…that’s awful! If what you said is true, then you NEED TO GET OUT! For real you don’t need to raise that baby in sucha negative environment.
Don’t tell him. Wait till he’s “helping this girl” and pack up and leave while he’s gone. Don’t say anything. Don’t leave a note.
You pack up your stuff & run. Never look back. Don’t say a word.
Just leave dont say anything! Get out first to a safe place prayers all works out
Wait until hes at work and then pack and leave. And make a police reports of the threats and possibly get a ppo
I only read up to the 2nd line of this post lol…leave him.
Why are you still with a guy that treats you like this??
I’d just try and pack up what you could while he’s away or at work and leave!
Don’t tell him. You pack your things when he’s gone and leave!
Go to a domestic violence shelter and never look back.
Talk to your local law enforcement.
They can escort you out the house with your things.
How would u pack?
Any way I would leave the baby else where when u pack/leave so he don’t hurt the baby.
And make sure the police are present
Uh yeah I wouldn’t even tell him and just find a time where you can safely leave with the baby!
OMG don’t tell him just LEAVE I would have beat the hell out of him in his sleep by now for talking to me crazy… He’s abusing you SEVERELY beat the baby out you??.. No,no,no it couldn’t be me I’d of ended up on snapped. Get you a CPO criminal protective order tell them EXACTLY what you posted on here. Look for a Women’s Haven to help you with the process.
Don’t tell him. Please get out, yesterday. Pack up you and your baby. Keep any and all messages he’s sent or sending you. Any abuse is not ok.
Why tell him? He will figure it out when he notices you aren’t there. Don’t contact him- make it impossible to contact you, and go where you won’t be found. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going either- just go.
Don’t tell him anything. Pack ur shit and go, and then get a restraining order
Don’t even tell him you’re leaving. Just go and cut him out completely.
Tell him?! Girlfriend NO. Just DON’T BE HOME WHEN HE COMES HOME. Don’t leave any sign of where you’re going. If he isn’t on the birth certificate there is nothing he can do…run!
You may care about him hurting himself if you leave, however, you and the babies safety should suppress those feelings. You need to leave while he is at work/gone. If you can’t get out in that amount of time with enough clothes and belongings for you and baby, make a trip to the police department first and foremost, they will escort you and baby out. If possible, leave baby with a trusted friend/relative for a few hrs, it’ll make it a little easier to gather your belongings. If he hurts himself after that point, at least you and your child are safe. Things will get worse and he will hurt you or baby if you stay!
Sorry you are going through this.
I lost a friend last week at the hands of her boyfriend.
Infront their child.
I’m proud of you for getting out and realizing you are worth more then a scum bag.
If you EVER need someone to listen, or need advice, or if your close, I could physically help u!
When he’s at work just leave. I’ve had to do that. Because if you don’t it can or should I say will get worse. Don’t put your baby in danger any longer or yourself. One day talk to you support people and let them know that you need help if they don’t already know, and then tell them next time you call it’s time to go. Slowly get your stuff packed and get out!!!
You sure you report his actions to the authorities. Find a safe place to go then take things out of the house a little bit of a time so that you have them when you get there. Try to get a little bit of money ahead. Pack your baby up with what you need and leave and don’t ever say where you’re going. he sounds like he could hurt you. And your concern now is for you and your baby. Be safe and think before you move
Take your baby and get out! You and your baby arent safe there
Don’t tell him a dang thing sweetie. You pack as much of yours and that baby’s things up as you can and you head out shortly after he leaves for work. Peace out homie
Find a women and children’s centre local, wait until he’s at work and leave. Don’t say anything to him if he makes you that scared. You and your child definitely do not deserve to be in that environment xx
Just pack your stuff and leave whrn he’s not home
This person threatened your child and you’re concerned that he will hurt himself if you leave? Girl please! Take your baby and get the heck out of there NOW!!! Don’t tell him anything. Don’t answer his calls! Take your kid and forget he exists!
Leave, he has no rights to the baby until he pays to go to court which sounds like he won’t. Don’t look back just get out and save your child from growing up around a toxic parent.
Dont tell him. Just leave.
I would have been gone long ago.
Don’t tell him, leave and don’t let him know where you are, just disappear. This is for your own safety. Run
Get out of there ASAP! Do not tell him you are leaving or where you are going. Girl he will not change. Don’t risk him hurting you or your precious baby. Prayers girl
You don’t have to tell him just go and call the police and let them know he is threatening you and the baby.
Just leave. He doesnt deserve to know youre leaving or to be around that baby
Don’t tell him anything, just leave when he’s not there and go get a restraining order! He has threatened your life and the baby… we read about this stuff all the time… the women doesn’t leave and she ends up in a body bag. Take the baby a run as fast as you can.
You don’t say a damn word. You take your baby and you leave. Get as far away from him as possible and break all contact. This will only get worse.
Ps: get a burner phone. Don’t take any communication devices he has had any access to. If bank accounts are linked don’t use the account- take out money in town the day you go, and leave. Never use anything he could use to locate you.
If he’s not on Birth certificate WOMAN RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK!!
Don’t tell him and get as far away as you can. Go to the house with police presence if you need to move your things while he is home.
Just leave mama. He doesn’t need to know, get help, get support and keep that baby safe.
Record all that he says and go to the cops when he’s not home and they will at least come over so you can pack your stuff to leave! Get out of there as safely as you can. Call friends and family to be with you as well and have all them record everything. Then once you leave change your number and dont look back
Please go!! For the sake of the baby get away from him.
Leave when he’s not home and never look back
Don’t tell him leave when he is gone.
Wait till he goes to work and bust ass packing. Have a truck or someone to help you and get it all done before he comes back. Who cares what he does or says just worry about the 2 of you and be strong!
Pack when he is gone and leave don’t tell him
Omg you aren’t afraid, your lazy, get up and disappear, don’t say one word to him, not now not ever. File a restraining order and get full custody. DISAPPEAR. Call cps on him they will help protect you from him. You actually thought he would kill you when you were pregnant so you stayed now your thinking its best to let him kill your baby at three months?!? Yeah, you stayed because you wanted to. Stop thinking he is going to change. Mindset: NEVER GIVING HIM THE CHANCE TO KILL ME OR MY BABY.
Wait till he goes to work and bounce. Been there done that. It’s for your safety. Or call the local PD and tell them you want to leave but fear your bf may be violent and you fear for you and your child. They will come and assist while you gather your things. Girl get the fuck out of there before something happens to you or worse your child.
Just leave while he’s at work. Pack up what you can, take the baby and leave. He’s abusive and it’s only going to get worse.
Leave… I would never take threats towards my baby lightly.
Leave. Dont look back. You can do this
RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! You don’t need to tell him shit. I assume the place you have to go is with someone. Have that someone take your baby for a day while he’s working. While he’s working, pack up as much of your things as possible and GET THE HECK OUTTA THERE!!!
Don’t tell him, just go! I believe in you! Do it for your baby, do it for you!
I reccomend the book “When love Hurts”
Wait until he is gone to work or whatever.Ask a female officer to be there and gather all your belongings and leave for the sake of you and the baby’s safety. Report all the threats to the Gardai and they will understand the situation and help you out. For the safety of both you and the baby’s tell him nothing. Of course if he knows you are going God only knows how he will react Hope everything goes very well for you and that you and baby are safe.
You need to run. I almost had the same experience but I didn’t give him any baby. The police had to break the door because he was trying to kill me. You need to run with your baby because he doesn’t really care. If you don’t feel like you can make it alone call the cops or give your address to someone that can call them for you. Now is not only your safety is your baby’s. God bless you and give you strength
P.s.s : he won’t hurt himself- narcissistic never do, they think too highly of themselves to do so. They use it as a threat but it’s an empty threat.
I’d call the cops and have them there for protection while you are leaving. Or dont tell him at all. Pack up and go!
How awful!! Just leave?? Why even tell him. He didn’t claim baby on birth certificate. He’s not taking care of the baby or loving the baby like it’s his child. Sad to say but sounds like he’d get over it pretty quickly… and move on. But bc his threats in the past, I’d just leave for ur safety and baby. Don’t have the confrontation…
Pack yours and baby’s stuff and leave while he’s gone. And if you’re too afraid to do that then call local law enforcement to come there and observe while you leave. Whatever you do tho, please leave. Hes not on the birth certificate, therefore he can’t do shit about you taking the baby. Doesn’t sound like he’d even care anyways. Get outta there as soon and as fast and safely as you can tho!
Just leave mamma. He doesn’t need to know . Get help,get support and keep you and the baby safe . Prayers Hope all works out.
Do not pass go…do not take the 200…just go!
Girl why are you worried if he hurts himself he obviously dosnt care about you and your well being… He just uses that to an advantage to keep you around… Leave you and baby aint safe why put your child in a dangerous situation
Get out asap
It will get worse
Call woman’s shelter
Leave on the weekend when hes “helping his coworker” but u need to get out of there soon and if you cant call the cops when they get there they will stay with you long enough to get your things
I am going to go ahead and side with the majority of the women on here telling you to leave. I am so sorry you have to deal with that, nobody deserves that. My best advice would be to leave when you know he will not be home. If you have to get the police involved than do that too. You and your baby need the best life possible and it sounds like that can’t happen as long as you are there. If you stay things could become a lot worse. I am praying for you.
Don’t tell him anything he doesn’t deserve a explanation just go!
Don’t tell him. Just leave. You aren’t responsible for anything he would do to hisself. You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness but yours and that baby
Do NOT tell him and just pack up and leave when he’s not home. He’s already threatened to hurt you and your baby before, do NOT give him that chance. You need to RUN and you need to do it now.
Oh yeah. After you leave block him on all communication apps, phones, etc. Lock down the privacy on all your social media. Look up No Contact.
Pack up all yours and your babies belongings and just get the heck outta there girlfriend… You don’t owe him nothing, no reasons, no apologies, NO nothing!! You’re a Mother now, and that baby needs you girl. You & baby are not safe with him, you guys don’t need to be living in such a nagative, unloving, volitile & violent environment… Your needs and the needs of ur new baby are paramount and come first before all else, especially before his needs that’s for dam sure… It’ll be hard, that’s a given, but u & baby will be better off in the long run. Its a decision that you won’t regret making I promise you… Take care and be safe. Hope it all works out for you & your precious wee baby
You dont tell him my sister made that choice and was killed by a man that loved her you wait till he leaves for work or the store u grab a little shit and u leave!!! Have the cops bring u for your stuff do not take that chance its nit worth it
I agree with everyone else just leave don’t tell him do it when he is at work
He’s already hurting you and by extension, the baby. JUST LEAVE . If he harms himself, he’s looking for attention. Quite likely he will do nothing. JUST LEAVE.
Just leave. Don’t tell him. He is a sperm donor. Not a dad. If you have to call the cops and have them there when you leave. I would get out ASAP. Before he hurts you or the baby.
LEAVE!!! Go to another state!!! Start over!!! You can do it momma!!! Look up places that will help you and never look back!!!
Do not tell him. Just go. Then go and get a PFA.
Do what I did when I left my daughter’s Dad. He was extremely abusive to me during our relationship too. Pack up and leave the stupid s.o.b. while he is at work.
I was in a very similar position. I was physically abused while pregnant tho, and mentally abused as well. I packed up as much as possible the second he walked out the door for work and left. He has no rights to the baby until hes proven the father since he is not on birth certificate.
Just leave, he can’t do anything to stop you… wait until he’s not home and get all your shit and the baby’s stuff together and leaveeeee
I’m so sorry you’re going through this…don’t tell him you’re leaving…get somewhere safe ASAP!!!
This is emotional abuse. You need to leave. Look up DV resources in your area. Abuse doesnt always mean physical.
Leave while he’s fixing his coworkers vehicle. Just take baby and go. When he is ready to be a father he can file the proper paperwork.