You are not responsible for a grown man. Your responsibility lies in yourself and to your children. What would you say if this was happening to your child? Staying in that situation is harder than actually leaving. You have to be ready to take the step and leave, but itās worth it. Your happiness matters too. Narcissistic behavior with the āill commit suicideā is a big threat these type of men like to use bc it works, it gets the woman to stay.
I too went thru something similar, I one day woke up and had enough and left. Itās been 10 years, and honestly it was the best decision I could have ever made for myself and my children. Always remember YOU ARE WORTH IT 
I went through the same situation. You need to leave now. I went through this for 9 years and itās just gets worse. Leave before the kids believe that his behavior is ok. I didnāt leave soon enough. The issues will get bigger and bigger.
Are you trying to convince us you should leave him, or are you trying to convince yourself? Once youāve decided you need to make an exit plan. Until then work on deciding.
You make a plan to leave, and once you do leave you donāt go back. I was in a similar situation 7 years ago (I was 24 he was 27). During your breaks at work, do some research on what your options are (if you can afford to move on your own, if you need to stay with someone, if there are programs that can help you). If you think he may get violent, talk to your local police department about your options, make sure restraining orders are in place. It might seem overwhelming at first but itās whatās best for you and your kids.
You are not thinking about what this is doing to the children. Do you think they donāt see and hear what is happening. Leave before those babies are damaged anymore.
Leave
Whatever he does after is his problem not yours!
He needs counseling on the part about losing his mother. All that other mess is way too much. Either he stops or chunk up the deuces. You are not a door mat. Seems to me you do pretty good so you wonāt be losing anything.
It sounds like he is going into a very depressive state. Has he always been like this or only recently since you mentioned his mom died. I would sit with him and tell him exactly how you feel and tell him youād like for him to seek help with the drinking and not having/wanting the motivation to do anything. If he declines then thatās when I would leave. If heās willing to work for it maybe it will work out, if not then you know youāre decision.
hes not suicidal,hes manipulating you!!!
Leave. Quick. Fast & in a jiffy. Chances are, hes not going to go though with the threats. He is manipulating you!!! & your showing your children that his behavior is acceptable.
This man is trying to manipulate you by saying he will end his life . To keep you there to be his take caregiver . You should leave him, donāt be afraid to start all over again . His drinking is gonna get worser you will end up paying for his alcohol addiction. You must be addicted to him not in love with him ā¦ God bless you on your pathway .
Even if he is serious about the suicideā¦ you have to decide whose life is more important. Yours or his? I would assume your own. Especially for your children.
Advise him to go to therapy grief has no expiration dateā¦ Let him grieve, but support him in getting back on track as well
My Ex said he would kill him self if I left. I waited until he went to work which he also didnāt do much. I left with the bare minimum and for 2 hours I got the text messages of āIām killing myself.ā, āhow could you do this to me?ā, āI canāt live without you.ā The sorry, Iāll do better, it wonāt happen againā¦etcā¦ etcā¦ After those hours passed he started threatening to burn me alive and showed his true self. It is definitely just a manipulation. Leave while youāre still breathing and have some fight in you. Itās going to hurt but itāll hurt a lot less in long run.
Make an ultimatum, he seeks help(for his behavior, depression, drinking problem and for suicidal thoughts) or you and the kids will leave. Give him a time to do it by and if he doesnāt then leave. Staying you are teaching your children itās okay for people to treat someone in a toxic manner. Take back the control, Girl! I hope he gets the help he needs and you get the clarity and strength you need.
I grew up in this home. When my mom quit giving him a reaction, he moved on to abusing me. Get away! Far far away! And donāt take him back when he says heās quit drinking and on a good path. Good for him, but that doesnāt mean you have to be together. Please donāt put your kids through it. Please.
Please leave ! You are doing everything on your own already !! If he is truly suicidal he will need to seek help from a professional and not you ā¦ It sounds like heās trying to manipulate you into staying because Iām sure he knows you can and will survive without him . Please trust when I say this may have a huge impact on your childrenās lives ! If you are too afraid to leave please think of your kids and understand how damaging this is for them . Prayers and hugs being sent to you . Best of luck
I donāt know if you have a daughter? But how would you feel if you are your daughter in this situation ( if she was in this exact relationship in life)
Relationships take 100% from each partner. And for the sake of the kids? To teach them this is acceptable?
He isnāt going to kill himself. Thatās something a narcissist says to make you stay.
Youāre not responsible for his choices. Get him the phone number for the suicide hotline and they can help him from there. Heās draining the spirit right out of you and only you can put an end to it. Leave!
The suicide crap is a method of manipulation. He isnāt going to kill himself but if he says it you stay. Been there done that finally had enough and said you know what do whatever youāre gonna do itās not my problem anymore
Leave! I have been there except he hit me and cheated on me. You have to do what is best for you and your children and staying is not it. Do not let him bully you by threatening to kill himself. You got this girlšŖ
Speaking from first hand. Itās a scare tactic to make you stay so he can continue to use you however he sees for. Typical narcissist behaviour. They do or say anything to keep that control to only benefit themselvesā¦ itās sick and twisted. Leave it only gets worse . Good luck
I had one like that. I left him and guess what he didnāt do a thing to himself. One of those who wanted 2 or 3 women going at the same time. Life was hard but a lot easier without his butt.
Leave. F*ck all that nonsense. He doesnāt get to do whatever he wants and bitch at your while youāre doing the majority of the heavy lifting. Not healthy, and itās bullshit. He needs mental help, and threatening suicide is a control tactic. Dirty one at that.
As someone who just got out of a major abusive relationship, you are already doing things for yourself! You have leg up cuz my ex wouldnāt even let me do that so when things went south I was homeless. He is just one less thing to worry about. You have everything you need to leave an asshole the only thing left is YOU CAN DO IT. Cuz I know how hard it is to leave emotionally. You feel guilty for your children. You feel like you shouldnāt make them live through it. But nothing is more empowering then realizing they will have a happy healthy mom
LEAVE! I LIVED THIS EXACT LIFE! I wish someone whoāve knocked the F out of me a long time ago. I divorced my narcissist manipulative suicidal husband 8 years ago. I now have my own vehicle, a fantastic career and in the process of saving for a home for my little family. My children are happier and healthier. You can do it! A child/children would rather be from a broken home than to be raised in a broken home. You are teaching your children itās okay to be treated like crap, you are allowing them to see their Mother be abused. They know! My youngest was 4 when I left and he remembers everything! One of my biggest regret allowing my children see me get abused. 
He is gaslighting you honey. You need to do whatās best for you and the kids. Get out while you can.
Was he like this before she passed?
I lived it for many many years!!! If heās not willing to be your partner and help raise HIS kids. Then get out. Donāt stay. Heās not suicidal heās making you feel sorry for him so you will continue to do everythingā¦ You and your kids deserve more. A respectful man in front of the kids. They will look for the same in a man When they get older. You can do it you can be on your own. Let me tell you itās hard at first but the peace that comes within you after you do it is amazing. At that point you will know what you are capable of and look for completely different qualities in a man. And expect so much more. The kids will be much happier with a happier mommy. If you ever need a friend add me . Iāve been to fucking HELL and survived! 
Much love sister I will pray for you
While he drunk during the night,pack what you and the children need. During your day ,secure a place. And leave
Get out. I left my ex husband after almost 10 years, my only regret is not leaving sooner. Sure itās a struggle, but Iām happier, kids are happier, weāre all safe. Just go and donāt look back. If you need to talk just private message me!
Go get you some of those plastic crates from the Home Depot with real strong lids so they can be stacked. Get 8. I say 8 because I know 8 works. Go home and pack every last thing of that mutherfuckers in those crates and stick em on the curb when youāre done. Call him and tell him he doesnāt live there anymore. Youāll suck up everything after that.
Depression and stressm. Try to talk to him in a nice wayā¦ communication is the key
I think you need to put the lessons your children are learning, above what are possibly idle threats. Call the cops if he threatens to kill himself. Maybe getting him put on a 72 hour hold in a hospital will help him see the light. When people show you who they are, believe them. So much of your life is ahead of you, donāt throw it away.
Youāre not responsible for his happiness in life. Youāre only responsible for yours, and he is not making you happy or is he going to. Not a great role model for your kids either. Teaching your boys to be a useless bully and teaching your daughters what they should put up with from a man. RUN and donāt feel guilty for his choices.
Heās manipulating you. If need be, call the cops and ask for supervision as you gather your and the kids stuff. Explain the situation, and when they arrive tell him. This way if he announces heāll do harm to himself theyāll have to do something. They only can if theyāre present. Anything he does to himself, is on him, never because of you. Please remember that
Pack your stuff and your kids stuff and leave. You pay for everything already. Leave his sorry butt and move on with your life.
Pack up and leave.
That is a start of abuse and it will get worse.
And he will start to put his hands on you next.
Itās best if you get away from abuse because you got three kids and they see him do that then they will think itās okay for them to do it.
Take a big insurance policy out on himā¦ Ppl who want to kill them selves wonāt tell youā¦ They will just do itā¦ I know , because my Mother blew her brains out in 2011ā¦ You should leave him for the sake of the childrenā¦
Leave if he saids anything about hurting himself call for a well check tell him if he seeks help maybe you can work it out
I dated a guy for about 8mo that was verbally and physically abusive. He drank all the time. He used every trip to keep me to stayā¦canāt live without outā¦so sorry will never do it againā¦will kill you or the next person you are with. Made me think I was not good enough for anyone else. I did find the strength to leave. Luckily we did not live together and did not have kids. I survivedā¦he did not kill him self or me. I met and married my husband not long after. I canāt even think of what my life would be like if I had not found the strength to walk away.
Youre still so young so chances are you wont listen to anything any of us tell you. LEAVE!!! IF you think its going to get better youre in for a long ride of nothing but dissapointment. Youve let him disrespect you far too long for him to all of a sudden start treating you right. Staying for the kids for them to grow up seeing their father treat their mother like crap is going to do what for them in the long run? NOTHING!!! Nothing but make the boys act just like him and the girls end up with someone like him so sit down and make a plan B. Your plan A needs to go bye bye!!! You can be happy in life. You honestly just have to want it enough in order for you to make sure at the end of the day YOU are where you want to be with who you want to be with.
Pack your kids and go
Tell him either he gets help, stops his shit and steps up or your leaving him. Dont let him pull the suicide card tell him if he does it again you will call the police and have him put on a 72 hour hold and if he dose then do it and donāt back down then go get a restraining order and kick him out. Your already doing everything already yourself.
NEVER NEVER NEVER stay for the sake of the children!!! Believe me when I say they would rather have one stable parent over 2 broken oneās.
Leave him take your kids never look backā¦your holding it down for your family u donāt need himā¦you deserve better for you and your kidsā¦ donāt let that lazy guy hold u back
Take your kids and as much stuff as you need or can and go. Trust your gut and your headā¦theyāre not lying to youā¦hearts are easily manipulated. Been down a similar pathā¦get out before it gets worse. Good luck and Iāll be praying for you and your kids.
Heās a narcissistic pos !! Leave !!! Total waste of space not working or taking care of the kids . Smh he makes me sick
You need to do whatās best for you and your kids.its them and you or him,heās being absolutely selfishā¦the suicidal thing is manipulation so youāll stay.either that or heās wayyy to depressed but either way you need to talk to him about getting help.he needs to go to rehab and maybe counciling.i would hate to stay with someone just for guilt of them being suicidalā¦I wouldnāt do it.
Him saying heās feeling suicidal any time youāre think of leaving is just cuz he knows youāre thinking of leaving so heās guilt tripping you knowing you wonāt leave if something could potentially happen. Itās all a game in his eyes. He knows that youāll do everything because the kids but he also knows that youāll leave unless he guilt trips you into staying.
You do everything anyway. You donāt need him. Either pack up You and the kids and leave or pack his shit and put it outside and tell him to leave. Donāt waste anymore time with a narcissistic jerk like that. He wonāt kill himself he just says that to get you to stay knowing you will.
Show your children how to leave right leave for them. What are you showing your daughters if u have any that this is how to be treated
Never stay because of the kids , in the long run it will still end up hurting themā¦when itās toxic itās toxic I ended a 22 yr marriage because I was only staying because of the kids
He a narcissist girl get out while u can it better for u and them babies its better to have 1 parent then none at all u deserve better and so does ur babies hun please get out
He needs to get professional help. Could be having a hard time with a loss of family member.
You priority is the children, you are already doing it all alone. You have to do what is best for the kids and yourself.
A manipulation on his part you donāt deserve it neither do your children . There are safe houses for u and children stand tall and proud for them 
Youāre putting up with the behavior so hes continuing to do it. Put your foot down. The abuse will get worse if you stay. Your children dont deserve to see thats how relationships and love work. You deserve better. Time to go. Yes it sucks he lost his mom, but he has responsibilities. His life must go on and he shouldāve figured out how. Id have to leave.
Been there than that . I was in this same situation. I was thinking i can deal with this for a long time. I handle everything finances, running the house taking care of the kids but one day i feel that why am i doing this to myself i been on the status that i dont know myselfā¦ and with this i ended a 15 yrs of marriage and promise to be better even living alone and now i can say to myself that i did it. I am a better version of me now . Much stronger and independent.
Girl leave before he takes you away from your kids. 
I think when something as traumatic as losing your mother happens, you lash out and act irrationally towards the people you love the most. If this isnāt normal behavior and just started when he lost his mother you should try to help him through this. That doesnāt mean you should allow him to mistreat you. You deserve to be loved and respected regardless of his emotional state. But if this is purely circumstantial, you should talk to him about how you feel, offer him support and suggestions, let him know you love him and that you want to work through this together so he can heal and move past his anger and sadness. But if this is always how heās treated you and itās only gotten worse when he lost his mother I would say that this is who he is as a person and you deserve better. I know if I was in your situation I would try to be understanding to my husbands feelings and situation but communicate to him that I need him to be kind and need him not to lash out at me. I wish you all the bestā:yellow_heart:
I just left a very verbally and emotionally abusive man that did all of that too. I made an excuse to come to my momās and then I called and told him I was done
Point his ass to the nearest door or mental facility but DONāT FEEL BAD!!
Leave,The kids will be so much better.
Maybe he will get hid shit together if u leave himā¦
Call the cops tell them heās suicidal and hopefully get him baker acted . That gives you 3 days to pack your shit and get you and your kids the fuck out of there.
Never stay with someone because you feel bad!
Not sure what the question is here. As Dr. Phil always said kids would rather be from a broken than live in one. You need to get out IMMEDIATELY!!!
My ex was like this. All I can say is LEAVE! It gets way worse! Heās trying to guilt Trip you just like most narcissist do! Take your babies and run!
You need to go. I canāt and wonāt sugar lace it because thatās not what you need. You asked so Iām sayingā¦ Go. It wonāt be easy or predictable. But you already know. Beautiful woman, you can do hard things. You can and you should. Every moment you spend unsure is a moment your children are unsure. Do the right thing for your family. If heās worthy, heāll follow suit. Sometimes we gotta teach them. Itās not always them guiding us. You know what to do. We believe in you. 
I am so sorry you are going through this. 
It sounds as if he has no respect for you and you need to stand up for yourself and show your children what happens when you take people for granted.
You must leave and not look back. If you can move far enough away that it is a problem for him to visit, all the better. None of you deserve to be treated this way.
All of this is easier said than done.
You have children to raise, you should have to raise someone elseās child that is 31!
Walk!!! Itās only going to get worse! He needs to grow up and be a man and take care of his family! He wonāt trust me!
Smoke a blunt. Youāll come to your senses. I did.
Remember most people that commit suicide donāt talk about it they just do it. Stop feeling guilty your children see this and it teaches your sons that this is the way you treat a women. And your daughters that this is ok behavior. And itās not by a long stretch. Donāt let fear keep you from a better life.
Think about your kids who are seeing you miserable. Raising kids in that kind of environment is only going to cause them issues in the future. You can do it!
Heās killing himself anyway hunny, itās time to get a move on. Nothing in this world hurts more than reality. The truth is that you know, deep down whatās best for your children. In time, youāll heal from the guilt he has so āgraciouslyā bestowed upon you.
May God guide your every step and protect you and your children.
I donāt know if you have a daughter but what advice would you give her if she were in the same situation? Take the same advice you would give her.
Leave do not stay for the kids . Seeing and hearing this is not what the kids need .
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Dr.oilyenoil brought back my husband who left i and the kids for almost six months within the space of 21 hours after following all instructions given to me. I am very much grateful for restoring peace in my marital home, and I pray God almighty gives you the strength and wisdom to continue helping more people having similar relationships problems and marital problems like mine. For help you can contact Redirecting...
Just look at it from a teaching angle. What are you teaching your daughters by staying, and what is he teaching the kids by his actions. The girls will think itās normal to do all the work, and the boys learn it is okay to drink and sleep all the time. Is that what you really want to teach your kids???
LEAVE! your children are watching all this go onā¦ LEAVE. Donāt allow him to manipulate you about what heās going to do IF you leave, thatās on HIM. You take care of yourself and your kids like you have been doing. YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! Choose YOUā¤ļø
Leave. Trust me how wonāt harm himself in any way. Itās just emotional blackmail.
If heās telling you about being suicidal run without letting him knows where you guys are, donāt you know there were a few men that takes their whole family lives? God forbid. Recently a guy burnt his little girl in a car then about 2 years another killed his 11yr old. He needs therapy but you need to run and keep far after running for protection suicidal threat isnāt good for you and kidās to be around seek help and protection doesnāt matter how safe you feel
I was YOU ā¦ 25 years ago ā¦ I was a young mum had 3 children in 3 years my ex was so horrible to me ā¦ very violent but I stayed for my kids ā¦ way longer than I should of because I wanted my kids to have 2 parents with them everyday ā¦ I worked up the strength to leave one day I laughed and my eldest son said to me mummy you laugh ā¦ sweetheart please leave ā¦ be happy ā¦ be strong and do it for you and your babies thru deserve one happy parent than 2 sad parents ā¦ youāve got this xx
Did he do all this before his mother died? To me it sounds like heās lost in depression. Which in no way excuses his behavior. If his action started when his mother died/got sick then perhaps try to suggest that he go talk to someone and seek help because youāre worried and canāt continue to watch him kill himself and you wonāt let your kids watch either. If this has been going on for years then cut your losses. You have 3 kids NOT 4.
P.s donāt concern yourself with the threats of suicide thatās a form of manipulation!
I was in an abuse relationship and he to use to tell me heās gonna jump everytime i would like try and leave its just a tactic abusers use to control you. I left its been 2 years now and ge us still alive and living his life like im living my best life
Leave, you only get 1 life so donāt waste it if youāre uhappy. Think of yourself & your children.
First of all, nobody should have to put up with that treatment. His mum dieing is no excuse to be treating you like he does. Never stay for the kids, those kids donāt need to see you being treated like that, otherwise they will think thatās the way you treat your partner.
Also, the suicide stuff and the fact that he uses it as an excuse, please donāt fall for that. At the end of the day, you are unhappy and being treated disgracefully. My advice would be have a conversation about him changing. If you canāt have that conversation with him or heās not willing to change then you know what the right thing to do is. Itās hard, but itās the right thing for all concerned.
You know the right path you have to take and its hard to do it, I know it isā¦ But with him saying everytime he is suicidal, my best advice for that, is when you or if you plan to leave with the kids, is that day, phone his GP, tell them he has claimed he is suicidal, and you are leaving him, and itās not your responsibility anymore,
Once you have informed a medical professional of this, it is their duty of care to keep him safe, no longer yours, and if he does do something, your plate is clean as you told the right people
Good luck with whatever path you chose, stay strong xx
Take your chances on leaving, your parents deserve a parent who wants to live for them. Plus, you deserve way better.
Get up and go your kids deserve better he needs to get help for his DEPRETION an drinking
Leave him heās manipulating you. Show your kids what they truly need to see in life
You need to leave for your kids so they donāt grow up thinking itās ok and repeating the behavior
Leave. What he does after is not your concern. He is his own person
Leave. Youāre already doing everything as a single parent pretty much. He sounds like another child. He says hes suicidal as a tactic to keep you stuck. You canāt live yours and yours kids lives for a man who doesnt prioritize them. You are not responsible for his choice when he chooses to act the way he does.
Sounds like heās grieving . Mabie suggest a grieving councilorā¦ my husband killed himself and itās been devestating . Not saying stay in it just saying mabie he needs some help.
Sorry your going through this. But yes like above itāll be way better for you and your kids if you leave now. If you wait the effects a longer lasting. I was in a relationship for 15yrs the last 8 ne became a very bad drunk. Lots of fighting kids hearing mean things they see him treat me bad and speak bad to me so now they do. It took me 3 stins of him being in rehab to realize he isnāt changing so I left. Best thing ever!!!