I would talk to him not at him about him having a mental breakdown and he needs more help than you alone can provide. That his actions are mentally effecting the kids and home environment. If he doesn’t seek that help then start look at moving on. But set boundaries and time line for all of it.
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Sounds like you’ve already made your decision and have already mentally checked out. If you want and need out and don’t feel it can or will change, just leave. Better than being miserable or living a double life.
If you don’t take care of you…who will take care of your kids when you can’t…
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It’s not gonna be east, I took me months of planning but it can be done. Hes using suicide as a scare tactic to keep you there. Let him do what he’s going to do thats his choice. I’ve heard it before myself if it makes you feel better find someone who can check in with him once you and the kids are gone
Send him back. Not the right foster home.
Your unable to facilitate his needs.
You’re not responsible for him and his actions when you walk away so don’t let that stop you.
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Suicide threats are manipulation! He doesn’t want you to leave because he knows you do everything! You deserve better girlfriend and so your kids! Don’t waste any more time…move on.
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Stand your ground. Have a talk with him and make sure you express how you feel. Be blunt. Be brutally honest. His behaviour is demininshing your marriage and he needs to step up and fill his role appropriately. If he needs help, encourage him to get the help. If he just needs some motivation. Be the motivation. Marriage and love is not a one way street however it is not an even 50-50 split either. Some days you are 90 while he is 10. Some times he is the 90 while youre the 10. Maybe its 60 /40 sometimes… its not an easy road. But. Are you going to make an effort to fix it? Or start taking steps to leave?
If you want to leave, thats OKAY to do too!! If you feel the damage is done and unfixable PLEASE DO NOT STAY " for the children" a parent is a parent whether single or coupled. Whether you stay together or not he still needs to pull his shit together and be a parent to the children involved. If you two can do it together somehow thats amazing. And if you cant dont blame yourself, its not a one person job!!!
Just please take the time to communicate how you feel!! And dont stay where you feel unsafe for ANY reason!!! Talk to others close to you too!! Help is closer than you think!!!
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Run…do not walk and never look back!!
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Please…leave. It’s for both YOU and the kids. You are already doing it on your own.
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Leave to live for the kids
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I delta with and Alcoholic for 13 years, finally when I got tired I put him out and didn’t look back. It’s been 17 years. I say leave for your children he’s teaching them how to be abusive, you staying is saying it’s okay. Take those babies and run for your life and theirs. Im🙏🏾 for you.
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Aside from everything negative that is happening in your relationship, if a man tells you he will kill himself if you leave…GET OUT!!! GET TF OUT NOW!!!
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Leave. If he starts talking suicide again, call the police so he can get brought in for treatment.
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Leave for you and your children. He needs help. You’re already doing everything yourself.
I’m a DV survivor as well. I am a now single mom of 6 children aged 14,11,5,4,2 1/2 and 1 1/2. Your SO is using fear, obligation and guilt to manipulate you to stay. Red flags everywhere.
You need to leave as soon as you can. Your children deserve a happy and healthy life. So do you!!! It will get worse. Please believe me. When I finally left it was because I was hospitalized with a broken nose, 5 staples in my head, fractured ribs, concussion, and I knew if I stayed any longer that he would eventually kill me and my children would no longer have their mommy. You can’t fix him. It was hard basically starting over from the beginning, but it was the best thing that I could of done for my children and myself. Please, please leave. If you’d like to PM me, that’s ok:slightly_smiling_face: Sending you hugs 
His life his responsibility. Whatever he decides to do know that it is not your fault. You live your own life. Take him out of the picture.
Leave. Only gets worse. He will used that so u don’t leave him. If he keeps saying it call the cops for a wellness check or say he is suicidal abd he would have to get tested. I’ve already been through this
You just have to do it. I left while my rx had a rifle pointed at me. He said if you leave, I will shoot you. I said do it then, and picked up my two year old daughter and walked out the door. An, hour later, the swat team, was carrying him hog tied out the door. It was scary, but I had to do it.
Please call your local DV hotline or shelter. They’ll assist you with leaving and beyond.
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Make a plan as to how you will leave and find out if there may be a shelter you can stay with your children. I hope you have a support system if there is not a shelter you can go to. But, please leave.
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My Mother used to say, someone who says they will kill themselves if you leave, is not worth having in your conscious. She would say, never feel guilty for the demons in their heads. You have children looking up to you. You are teaching them that being in an abusive relationship is OK. Picture your kids in a scenerio like yours, would you like them to live the same story?
Get out with your children,you deserve better.
First of all I’m sorry you are going through this! Secondly the suicide claim is always a tactic of abusers. If you leave and he says this then call the police. If he did end up doing it which I doubt he would it would not be your fault. It won’t be easy being on your own but when I left am abusive relationship what was easier is knowing I wasn’t taking care of an adult who was capable of caring for themselves also when you aren’t being constantly let down by someone who is supposed to be a partner things are less stressful in that way. I suggest reaching out to you local women’s shelter. They are amazing there. Just know you are strong just for reaching out here. And you deserve a life of happiness and love 
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You are already doing it on your own. I think you already know the answer. You just have to make the move. If not for yourself, Do it for your children. You won’t regret it
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Please please kick him on out to the curb and soon!! Sweetheart I know all too well how this goes. It sounds like mine and my kids life for 12 long years. Not working, I was the breadwinner for around 10 of those 12 years. Physical abuse, verbal, mental abuse it’s all there rolled into one. My son is our oldest. He now has anger issues at 38, suicidal issues, wanting to commit it at times. He’s a good soul but I alone kept him in that mess way too long. It scarred him to his core. Our daughter is better than my son far as mentally but she dealt with way too much as well. She’s 32 now. Life is too short to ruin the lives of your kids. Sure he’ll say he’s suicidal if threatened with his free room and board, food, etc. Mine did too. So as my dad told me one day when I pulled up to his house crying…Kathie, you know what you have to do, stop crying and just do it. He also wanted me to stop crying because it was making him cry. But you have to be the adult in this situation and decide to make your life and just as important, your kids lives better! Just to say, we married, divorced and I let him move back in for 4 more years and the abuse was worse. He was an alcoholic and abused drugs. He lived his life, I lived mine and we were good friends, better than we ever were together. He passed 3 years ago but was still the same far as the alcohol and drugs. It’s sad but we are here for a short time, choose how you want your kids to grow up. Hugs sent.
Leave or stay. If you leave your kids see this isn’t to be tolerated. Stay and it’ll be their relationship dynamic.
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He’s depressed, lost his mother, 31 is young, easy to walk away from someone at thier worst. Try lifting him up, this is where a relationship proves its worth. Don’t run when things get hard.
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18yrs of abuse from an alcoholic/drug addict. If they won’t help themselves, there’s nothing you can do or say to make them want to do better. His children should be important enough to try and fix himself. If not then the best thing you can do for your children is to leave. Pray for him and let God handle the rest.
This is the reason I stayed for so long in an abusive marriage. Please… leave. It was the best thing for my daughter and I when I finally found the courage. I saw my chance and never looked back.
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If he’s abusing u, he will abuse the kids. If he wasn’t this way before his mom died then u need to sit him down & tell him if he wants this to work then he needs to get help from a mental health personal or therapist. If he was this way before then leave & don’t look back the suicidal threats are for manipulation.
The next time he says he’s going to kill himself if you leave have him baker a Ted they will watch him for 72 hours see if he needs any meds and while he’s there pack you stuff and gtf out of dodge
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I say get divorce papers kick him out could call the police and ask for one present while you give him the paperwork and he gets his stuff and explain to them the threats of suicide and etc.
Suicidal people never announces that they are Suicidal 
…I think he is guilt tripping you into staying so he can have someone he can order around. What we allow WILL continue.
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If you have a domestic abuse shelter reach out to them they will help you come up with a plan, you and your babies deserve to be happy and not mentally abused. GET OUT
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Tell him to the f… Up, get off of his ass and start packing his shit up and kick his ass out, if he doesn’t leave then he better start helping around that is his only option, if he want to kill himself then call the cops and get him put away for help, change the locks and tell him u want a man not a little ass boy
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Call the police and have him baker acted if he says he’s suicidal. That is bullshit to control you. You’re young walk away now. You’re teaching those kids that his behavior is ok and they will fall into the same cycle when they grow up.
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Sounds like mental illness like bipolar, research it
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List to yourself. You listed the facts , and answered your own question! Move on, it’s NOT going to get better , fo you really need to see … let them babies see just how bad it can get ???
This will only get worse. Please leave. Your safety and the safety of your children are at risk.
Do not announce it. Do not discuss it. Put a plan together and go.
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Side note - wanting a clean house doesn’t mean you have OCD. OCD is a serious condition and everyone is out there self diagnosing
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Life is way to short. Do what makes you happy…
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YOU’RE STILL WITH HIM WHY? Come on. Protect your children. It’s your job. Get out.
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How long is you gone be stuck on stupid.
I think you need to keep yourself and your kids safe, yeah he’s depressed but it’s no excuse for verbal and emotional abuse, maybe he needs to hit rock bottom. Maybe if he wakes up with no wife or kids, it’ll straighten him out, you can’t do it for him, and it’s untenable at the moment.
Please get advice from a domestic violence charity or shelter, and make a plan.
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He’s gaslighting you saying he will kill himself, maybe ring the doctors for him say he’s suicidal
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He is manipulating you, either kick his lazy butt out or take your kids and leave yourself if you can. He has treated you like a doormat for long enough and you and your kids deserve so much better. And he is no role model if you have sons
I was in a relationship quite similar to this. It escalated to the point he put his hands on me. I never believed he would. That was my wake up call. Honestly it was the best decision for me and my kids. I left in March and we are the happiest we’ve ever been. When he would try to tell me he was suicidal or about to do something call the police.
Easy! Leave him with a hole in his head next time he lays a hand to you!
He sounds like he’s depressed and may benefit from a mental health evaluation. Good luck, stay safe and keep your babies safe!
Run for your life otherwise u will end up like him
His misery is not your problem. Alcoholism isn’t something you should mess around with, especially if he’s belligerent and verbally abusive. Whenever I see stories that people tell online and commenters say, “dump him,” I cringe, but this is serious enough of an infringement. Take your children and stay with your parents, if you can. There are resources you can use to stay away from him and remain safe. Please, please use them, and do not feel guilt if the worst happens. Suicidal confessions could be a manipulation to keep you in the marriage and at the farm. Please, leave him, and do not look back no matter how guilty you feel.
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Leave he’s manipulating you just like my ex did get you and your kids out of there
You are the stupid one!!!
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I have lived this scenario. You are not equipped to “fix” him. He isn’t either. He needs to seek help. Then the two of you can work on the relationship. I fought hard to help for two years and then I left. I left because I didn’t want his kids to grow up with that example for a parent. It’s been over 10 years and he is pretty much the same he has had good and bad years. I am glad I left and I think he honestly found someone that was more patient ( prob cuz she wasn’t also raising his young kids) that has helped him struggle through his illness.
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You need to leave. You already take care of everything and will be just fine. He’s just another child for you to care for. Lighten your load… you and your kids will definitely be happier. You already know what you need to do.
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You need to leave! His emotional state isn’t your problem. You need to protect your kids from such an emotional & verbal environment.
He’s a grown ASS MAN that needs to wake the f$&@ up. He’s not the only person in this world to loose a loved one. His actions don’t make it ok to be treating you like garbage and on top disrespecting you. What your kids are seeing they will think it’s ok and do the same one day to there partners.
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Tell him to go see a doctor if he’s suicidal and leave him because saying that your suicidal is a form of domestic abuse in order for you to stay. If he wants help he needs to get it. Same for the alcohol.
Him believing you should do everything is a joke. It’s not your job to do everything and pay while he will happily sit and do nothing. He could be depressed or he could be using it as abuse.
Personally I would leave him. If you need help getting out feel scared for his welfare or his reaction ring the police to help you.
Look at non molestation orders online incase he starts harassing you when you have left.
Your alternative is giving him a final ultimatum. To change his ways and face his issues or its over. If he doesn’t then you know what to do.
You deserve to be treat better than this !
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Men will use the “I’ll kill myself” if you leave and even after you leave they will use that but most never will…it’s a threat that causes you guilt to keep you from starting a life without them.
If he is mistreating you, you need to call it out when he’s doing it. I would explain to him that you are unhappy and tell him what you’ve told us. Go from there and see if he’s willing to work on himself or if you’ve already done this, put money away and save up cuz living on your own paying all the bills with 3 kids is hard but can be done. Hopefully you have family near by that can help out with the kids. Lawyer fees are expensive so check into that before leaving as well.
Honey if he is really suicidal, he will take action whether you are with him or not. Don’t let him guilt you into being his mom. I know the Bible says God first, then your spouse and then children. But I whole-heartedly disagree. You brought kids into this world and are their caretakers until they can take care of themselves. Your husband is a whole grown ass man who should be able to take care of himself. So your first priority is your children imo. You also need to take care of yourself. If you don’t, then who’s going to take care of your kids? And everything else you’d? Not him, surely. Bc he’s not even taking care of anything now while you’re around. Take it from me. I was married with 4 daughters. My husband didn’t like to work. I stayed with him for many years. Finally I couldn’t do it anymore. I realized that if I’m going to do everything as if I was a single mom, I might as well be single. And it saved me money bc that’s one less person I had to support. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard. We all had to sacrifice and go without some wants in order for us to have our needs met. But we were all so much happier. He was also verbally and mentally abusive to us. I really tried to make it work. For too many years. But if the other partner isn’t willing to work on it too, then it’s not salvageable. I also had guilt bc I married thinking it was forever. But honestly, it was for the best that I ended it. Think hard and decide for yourself what you are willing to put up with. You may feel some guilt or sadness, but in time you’ll find your happiness. Good luck and sorry so long.
Don’t let him guilt you into staying . Do what is best for you and your children .
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He is manipulating with that talk of suicide if he is serious you won’t be able to stop him or help him he needs therapy and a good old fashioned ass whopping…your peace your happiness is what the kids need and only you can make that happen…the first step is the hardest bit you can do it…get help its there trust I know this situation been there but when my child was placed I harms way because of him I finally left not for me but for her don’t let it get there…good luck
Perhaps have someone from a local clinic who specializes in mental illness on standby when you do leave. Almost sounds like a police escort out the house is needed. Please just have someone there when you try to leave for him and for you.
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He’s not a good parent or even person! If he kills himself, which as a psych nurse, I’m VERY DOUBTFUL he will, it’s not your fault. If u are truly worried about it, wait until he threatens it again then call 911. Have him committed on emergency detention order for suicidal ideation and LEAVE whiles locked up for 72 hours. Save yourself and your babies.
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I’m sorry but run!!! Saying he is suicidal is a narcissist trait
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They all say they are suicidal to keep their meal ticket around. Sounds to me like you are already doing everything by yourself. All he is doing is bringing you down. Run as fast as you can, or kick his ass out, whichever you can do. Been there done that, was so much better after I kicked him out.
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Leave ASAP! If he’s threatening to kill himself, that is an out and buying himself time to manipulate you. Go, get away as fast as you can with your children. If he is going to kill himself he won’t announce it. You do not deserve or need to be in that situation. RUN fast and hard.
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Get out get out get out
These are all red flags and you know your not happy with it leave if you can safely before it gets violent
Please talk to someone or reach out to family or friends
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He needs a psychologist or a mental health counselor.
I been there…isn’t gonna change…he has to want to change…drinking telling you right there…draining the $#€* outta you…best to keep walking, dt look back.
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There is clearly more negatives than positives. My advice is leave u and your children will benefit from it.
You are the only one that can stop this and you must do it NOW not just for you but your kids too, you are teaching them that this is how men treat women and thus condoning it. Abusive men are cowards, you have to believe in yourself and know that a better life awaits you, leave immediately.
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Leave. Everything after that is out of your hands.
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5 years from now… you would want to make the right decision!!! Don’t regret this post nor the words of wisdom!! Listen to your gut you don’t need validation take charge of your life!! God bless you!
You need a psychiatrist for staying!
He Sound like he is a narcissist ! Leave him don’t look back .
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U already answered your own question
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Sounds like your partner needs professional help, if this story is accurate.
It is still only one side of the whole story.
There are too many factors here for anyone to pass judgement and tell you to simply leave.
But, that’s Fakebook for you.
He has lost his mother only 7 months ago.
We’re they close? Was there unfinished business between them? Was it his only parent? What sort of conditioning was he exposed to as a child?
How would your emotional state be if you lost your mum or dad today?
Somebody above said “His emotional state is not your responsibility”.
That is utter crap.
A relationship is sharing the load, including each other’s emotional health.
You only need to flip that statement to see how ridiculous it is.
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I think you’ve answered your own question. Time to go.
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This whole situation is wrong you need to get out !!
It’s obviously harder if he’s saying he’s suicidal but I’d you don’t get out you’re going to be the one suicidal my dear!!!
Call citizens advice and or local council for help then literally walk out…. If you fear hun then call the police and ask them to be present so you can leave- they will help x
You can do this, daunting as it may feel once you’re out you will feel better xxx
Wishing you well xxxx
To leave an abusive partner, you just have to leave! Recognise that it’s going to be hard for a while but do it anyway - try to focus on the positives for you and the children and deal with everything else as it comes. It DOES get easier and you’ll be so much better off!
If he threatens suicide again, you leave anyway but call the police. If it’s a genuine concern they’ll get him the help he needs and if it isn’t, he can explain to them why he felt the need to put that on you!
Good luck
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Please go. He is not your responsibility. Your kids are. He’s threatening you with suicide so you’ll stay. Please run honey. 
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Your teaching your children it’s ok to be abused !!! LEAVE !!!
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pack up and go you are supporting a LOSER take the kids and go
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U need to walk away. Im sorry to be upfront but honestly just walk away that is not a relationship or any way your beautiful children should grow up knowing how to treat someone. Best of luck💞
U have to put urself n kids 1st y do u want to live like that he keeps telling u his suicidal so u wont leave him cause he has it made with u everything is free for him
Get out while you can , trust me I’ve been there, fortunately for me there wasn’t any kids involved. He is sayin he will hurt himself because it stops you from leaving .
You need to get out now before your name is the next one to end up on your own tombstone and your kids have to visit mummy in a cemetery .
You have answered your own questions.
If you don’t leave now you will be the one taking your life… I know this cos it almost happened to me so get out now while you can it’s unhealthy for you & your children. Hope all works out for you & you meet someone you knows your worth x
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No kid deserves 1 parent but no kid deserves to watch another parent abused and mistreated. Your kids learn on a sub conscious level what life is supposed to look like. This cycle is setting their future to repeat it. Suicide is a real concern but the majority of the time those who threaten Suicide are doing it for attention and control. Those who plan to follow through never say a word. He uses this threat to control you. The toxicity in the home is causing more damage to the kids than good. For the love of your children please leave ASAP.
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I think you know you need to leave but unsure how. If you have the funds pack the important things like passports and birth certificates etc , make a bag a leave it with a friend if possible. Then take the kids out one day and don’t look back. If funds are low contact your local housing and they will advise you on housing options. You don’t have to waste another day like this, the support out there is fantastic. Take care the Most dangerous time is when you tell them your leaving so plan well. Tell the police if he’s suicidal for a welfare check after you’ve gone. You wouldn’t treat him this way so why put up with it.
I would say run but he needs help loosing a parent is super hard he either gets help to get through this or you run like hell
He’s threatening you with suicide because he knows it will work and he knows you won’t do anything. I believe things will escalate more. I think it’s only a matter of time before you or your kids get hurt or someone could die. This is all about control. When he no longer can control you, he will become dangerous. Find out where a women’s shelter is, make some plans and LEAVE. For yourself and your family, before it is too late. He will never just let you leave. Unless you want your life to be a living hell, DO SOMETHING! Good luck. Sending prayers and hugs 
Dated a man who threatened to kill himself every little while I got so tired one day I told him go ahead fyi he’s still alive… manipulative that’s what your husband is… run girl run…put yourself and your children first
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He’s a selfish wanker, to many about, get rid now, he won’t top himself he’s a spineless coward, putting a guilt trip on you, your be better off without him 
Run and never look back! It will be the best thing you ever do I promise you. I got rid of one back in January and my life has been so much more peaceful and happy without him in it x
Since you do everything now you can leave and do everything. Leave. Don’t let him continue to keep you prisoner with his threats.
Have him committed for suicidal thoughts/tendencies, he will spend a minimum of 7 days and get detoxed while he is there. During these 7 days do what you can to find local resources for yourself to help aid in getting away if its truly what you want. If he was like this before his moms passing I would definitely leave. If he only became this way after maybe look into programs and sponsors for addiction & depression. Alcohol is the worst thing for depression.
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Ummmm, you’re showing your kids how to treat a woman or be treated by a man. Run, don’t walk. Leave now. You can always go back if he shows a substantial change for a LONG period of time.
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You’re ALREADY doing EVERYTHING YOURSELF. What’s the point of keeping him around 
Not a great example for the children. You deserve so much more as do your children
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