How to let my fiance adopt a child from a previous relationship?

You probably should consult a lawyer for the correct answer since each state is probably different. It’s a bit twisted too since the ex has joint custody and isn’t the bio Dad. Since your not even married yet I would wait a good amt. of time and maybe your ex won’t even care. The fact that he wanted shared custody and didn’t bother with your daughter makes me think he was trying to punish you. Hopefully time will change that.

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I feel terrible for this child and how she will be forced to adapt to all these constant changes as she moves through her life. Adoption should be taken very seriously and it needs to be forever! Hopefully a judge will set this situation straight! :frowning:

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I’d just say that the fact that you’re talking about 3 different fathers for one kid says enough.

This is your daddy… oh no this is your daddy… oh just kidding… this is your daddy. It’s very clear that whoever you are currently with is the “dad” you want for your kid. A father isn’t a father based on the relationship that the father had/has with the mother. A father is a father based on the relationship he has with the child and you, mom, are irrelevant in that relationship.

After you and the new guy breaks up, are you still going to want him to be her daddy?

That’s her dad, read your state laws. You didn’t get screwed by your attorney and nobody messed up. All these women talking about that’s not right… what’s not right is wanting to take this child from this man based only on the fact that they don’t share DNA.

This man fought for a kid that wasn’t biologically his and you guys are like oh that’s so wrong. All so the mother can get yet another man that’s not biologically the father, to be the father. I think it’s more wrong to repeatedly have a man and treat them as a father, then the minute mom isn’t sleeping with him anymore, he’s no longer the father. Talk about daddy issues later in life.

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Oklahoma has strict laws that forbid a mother from changing a child’s name from that on the birth certificate without the (person who is on the document) consent. Also, if they’ve paid any child support, regardless if they have seen the child in person, the state considers that enough support. It’s problematic. You could possibly file under abandonment, however, if he is not the bio dad - you need to clear that up with a DNA test and that would solve your problem immediately.

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A lot of times if a child is born in the marriage, that husband is giving child rights. You weren’t divorced yet, were you

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Your fiancé has been a fiancé for 3 1/2years? A judge will want to know what are you guys waiting for. I don’t think he can adopt if he’s not even your husband.
You will certainly need a lawyer who specializes in family law.

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While I can appreciate your fiancé’s desire to adopt your daughter, I think you’re way ahead of yourself. Get married first. Be sure the relationship works before you involve your child in more issues. This is about her, not you, the fiancé or ex. Just her welfare.

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He won’t be able to adopt if her dad doesn’t give up his rights

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Go back to court and prove said dad is not her bio dad and go from. Tbere

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You need find a good attorney. The father on the birth certificate should not matter if he did not pay child support unless he did not know about the child. My friend’s new husband was able to adopt her child when she re-married without the natural father’s consent because of non-support. If you were living in the same house with your husband while separated but not legally divorced it is the reason he got shared custody. Only an attorney can advise on how to get out of this mess. When the child is a certain age, it is her choice on whether she wants to continue the arrangement. If she recognizes your ex as her father then it would be her choice, not yours.

Stop using your kids as a pawn. You were the one that messed up. Your ex husband was the bigger person to step up and accept the child as his own and tried to keep the marriage going and now you want to take that away from him? No way you’re wrong.

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In my state the law requires that that husband of the mother be listed on the birth certificate as the legal father of the child, even if he is not the biological father.

In cases where the father is not the mother’s husband, it may be necessary to disestablish paternity. This can be done through either: An Affidavit of Paternity executed by the mother, father, and the mother’s husband, or A court case filed by either the mother, the current (legal) father, or the biological father. In order for this case to be successful, a DNA test will be required.

I’d consult a lawyer that’s the best road to go see what they have to say!does this guy pay child support ?

Is he seeing her and contributing to her upkeep. If so he’s her father in her eyes also.

Person on the birth certificate has to give up rights to the child and doesn’t matter if they are criminals or whatever and you have to be with fiance well here you have to be married to the person who wants to adopt the child for at least 6 months

If he put money towards the child he may be entitled. See a lawyer.

You don’t say where you’re getting advice from, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve been to an attorney. I’d get one and quit listening to your ex :roll_eyes:

Are you talking about yourself a jockey good child if he wants to adopt that and go to the assess of dealing with that and having taking your child in like family then yes I will say it’s okay but if he’s not in it except your child as his like he is then no it shouldn’t be like that and you should ask the child if he wants if she or he wants to be adopted from that party or do they like the person that you’re with that’s what I will say don’t really have to change anybody’s name or do anything like that you just have them on the side of the thing and try to be there for you and your child and if he can’t accept that then they shouldn’t be around

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A simple blood test would prove the right father the story doesn’t add up

You did not say if the man is involved in the child’s life .

Can you get a DNA test?

Poor kids goes through a lot now day’s from ignorance !

Does he know he isn’t the father? And claimed as his own anyway? So you cheated, got pregnant, your husband accepted the child… and now you want someone else to adopt it? This kid isn’t a bouncy ball to throw around to what ever man you’re sleeping with this week. He has a Father.

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He is all about control, what a shame he needs to let go n move on.

Get a lawyer. You need legal advice

She contradicts herself. She been away from now ex for 6 years but during that time she had a baby with another, and bio fathers name is on bc all though not in picture. 1. (so that telling me she wasn’t married at the time of birth) 2. and if she was married (the baby would have to carry her married name) which would explain why the courts allowed him to have shared rights to the child.) Yes, in most states if you are legally married and have another man child, the married name will be added to the child bc listing the husband as the legal father of that child. No married women can add and different last name to a child bc. And the only way a single women can give a child the bf last name is for him to sign the bc himself. Otherwise even a single person can not give a child a last name, but hers! Next she don’t know if she can change her name if she wanted to and she is afraid she will always be stuck in that same marriage. (This part is telling me that the baby does have her ex husband last name, and is or listed as the bio father of the child.) And because of this he (ex husband) would have to sign the adoption paper in order for her new bf to be able to adopt. So if child indeed does have the married last name, even the bio father if wanted custody would have to adopt his own child.

So you cheated on your husband and he raised a child that wasn’t his for a year and a half? Now you’re mad at him for bonding with your child even though your selfish behavior put him into that child’s life? You sound like a terrible selfish person.

Well your first mistake was having a child with another man while married to another. Have a dna. Good luck.

I’m sorry this is so weird for me…Hero in Ohio it’s set up that even my daughters father doesn’t have legitimate fatherly rights unless we are married you have to keep in mind we are in the fringes of the Bible belt so…I know there is a legitimate way where your fiancé can go through the process of adopting her but the father who is on the birth certificate has to sign his rights away or be proven an unfit parent

If the father has never met the kids by choice, then yes, otherwise if that father is still in their life, then absolutely not.

Sounds like your attorney f’d up if you had one

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Wow. Seems complicated.

Good should teach ya and all women choose wiser and stop blaming is men yall ones who lay on your bavks with no protection

to many unknowns here

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Apparently your life choices suck!