Wow karma is all I got to say and there is no way you can justify what you did. And if he truly wanted to leave her and pursue you he would have you need to do some soul searching and work on yourself.
no physical attaction?..i iwonder how those babies were made
Itâs really sad how many of you were failed on so many topics from culture, to arranged marriages, to sex, to sexuality.
Yes op youâll be fine once you find someone whom is actually available.
So you left cause he wonât leave his wife or did the wife find out about you and told him he must get rid of youâŚIâm sure you will move on easy and look for another married man or you can just stand on a corner at nightime in a red-light area
Leaving was the smart thing ⌠you have to be strong now. Time will lessen the pain . Start doing things for yourself . Take yoga or something that interests you . Keep busy and find yourself . Maybe a journal for your thoughts. You did the hardest part already âŚ. Now itâs all up hill to better days !! Be proud of yourself for waking away from a situation that was going no where .
Or so he says he doesnât have a physical or emotional connection with wife⌠You look so dumb right now.
Yes you will
You wasted five years with a man who would not commit the pain will pass and you can and will move on
you will, it will be hard for sure. the fact is you didnât have any loyalties to his wife, he did. you didnât marry her, you didnât say vows to be with her⌠he did. just think about all that time you wasted? youâre right, you canât help who you love, shit happens. youâll get there, it may take time but you will. everyone saying âhow did they have kids if be wasnât physically attracted to herâ it happens, a lot. most people in arranged marriages only have sex to have kids, weather theyâre attracted to their other half or not because it is their âdutyâ people talk about home wreckers a lot⌠but thatâs bullshit. if he didnât leave the door wide open for you then it wouldnât of happened, but it wouldâve happened with someone else. thatâs his doing, let it go. let him go
You had an affair with a married man, pick up whatâs left of your pride and keep this to yourself.
You can help who you love. You do not allow yourself to get in a situation like you allowed yourself to get into. You have finally left and done the right thing, move forwardâŚ
Yes, you will move on, and cringe a little
Wait⌠arranged marriage INSIDE THE FAMILY??? So⌠he married a relative???
I think you should probably look for a man who isnât married with kids. Gagđ
Disgusting thing to do to another person. Hope you are ashamed of yourself
So he has no emotional or physical attraction towards his wife yet his got kids with her lmao u got played by him, this line is always said by a married man id say good riddance to bad rubbish
Stop being a home wrecker and move on. You can if you have the will power. If you donât have the will power then I guess we will add you to the home wrecker fan page.
SMH all cheating married men run that same line to their side chicks about how they are so unhappy and not attracted to the wife anymore. Thatâs just a tactic to get some side ass. But in the same breath theyâre sitting home with their family bragging how happy they are and donât want to leave and donât make an attempt to leave. Yâall side chicks need to smarten up. If a man is so unhappy with his current situation he would get out of it before starting something else. I had a man try the same thing with me. He was an ex and claimed he wanted to be with me again but he was with someone else (not married) they have a baby together and he kept saying how he was unhappy and complained about her the whole time and said all they did was fight every day. He would want to come see me and take me out and all that good stuff. I told him if he wants me he has to dump her I refused to see him even if it was just to say hi. Needless to say heâs still with her we never hooked up and I didnât stand around waiting I told him I wonât be waiting around for him and I also told him just because he says all that stuff doesnât mean I believe it. Iâve been through the same shit with my ex husband we was good at home and seemed so happy and he was telling other women how he was so unhappy and all that crap. Anywho homeboy is still with the woman he claims to be so miserable with and I am with the love of my life and we are getting married on Valentineâs Day. You wasted all that time being the damn side chick thinking that man wanted you because he threw you a few crumbs. Lol I bet your ass was skinnin and grinnin the whole time he was stepping out on his wife to see you.
Girl you tell yourself he has no physical or emotional attraction to his wife to justify you being his side piece. Stop it.
Women like you are whatâs wrong with the world ! Disgusting, home wrecker.
There is NO JUSTIFYING what you both have done!!!
Thereâs no justification for being his side piece, but I was friends with and Indian man who dated a girl he absolutely loved and wanted to marry. He had to break up with her because his parents had chosen his wife. He tried to talk his way out of the marriage but his parents wouldnât accept her because she was American. Its kind of sad because a lot of these marriages are loveless and full of resentment.
Well hunni what would you think if the shoe was on the other foot.what if you were her??? Shame shame shame on both of you crossing the line. Adultery is unforgettable. Poor children are in the middle. Adulting is the key
Youâll be alright, man. Itâs not like you were married and had kids with the dude then he spent five years cheating and giving another woman everything he doesnât give you⌠Lucky you.
This page is so ridiculous. People only come on here to rip each other apart. It sounds like you are upset and tearing someone down when upset obviously isnât going to help anything or anyone. My advice is to block him in every sense of the way, because you shouldnât have a relationship with a married man. It sucks that his culture is like that, but you should respect the marriage even if he doesnât. Going from there, I would say to work on yourself. Like very seriously work on who you are as a person, and focus on your own life.
Well if he was never physically attracted to his wife then how come he has kids with her side chicks remain side chicks foreverâŚthese men donât leave their wives for them no matter whatâŚthis relationship was a disaster from the very beginning you should have prepared yourself for it
You donât have to act on it though!
Does the wife know I hope she beats both of you for disrespecting her. You better be careful thatâs a lot of bad karma coming for you 5 years worth.
You typed all this out and still pressed send?
People are so quick to condemn but we ALLL SIN, like the saying âdonât judge me because I sin differently than you.âWe are human, we LEARN and move on, to hopefully be better next time, and make better choices. Unfortunately it takes a really stupid decision to see we were wrong but canât go back and do things differentlyThereâs some nasty hateful people in these comments. And yes men will say anything to make you feel sorry for them. They lie lie lie. I donât want any part of it. If a man wants to continue to lie to other women then obviously there was a problem in the marriage from the beginning and heâs a douche bag. Thatâs the reason why marriages fail, because someone inside the marriage wants to fuck around. Not what the other lady said, hold the man accountable for ONCE. But just say NO THANKS for now on and donât believe the pathetic shit they say.
do you even feel bad? did the wife know? I assume not. big yuck
No when he said Married you didnât think hmm you should Always be the main event not the sideshow . In time u will move on just prAy u donât end up being cheated on
You cant justify sleeping with a married man by saying you canât help who you fall in love with. You can help having some morals. Regardless of how their marriage started he is married and you are just wrong all the way around as is he.
You and the guy are both in the wrong. He for not following his vows and commitment to his wife and kids, arranged marriage or not. And you for knowing he was married but still continue on with the affair.
Girl bye, most ppl are not gonna say⌠you canât help who you fall in love with, they gonna say âŚyou are a home wrecker and he played you for 6 yrs
Its hilarious that youâre trying to justify being a side piece to a married man and then want sympathy toođ Girl sit down somewhere
Yall mad cause he was forced to marry someone he didnât want to be with so he went with someone else? Idiots.
We canât help who we love but you participated in committing adultery and that is just awful. More than likely you will never find true love after that as itâs going to be taken away from you. You always have the choice to make the right decision. I hope after this you find your way and learn your worth and pray that it never happens to you. Karma is beast and it comes back around. Not trying to hurt ur feelings but you cannot find happiness in hurting other ppl to gain it.
Your justification is pathetic. Yes you can definitely help it by not engaging with a married man. Shame on you. Plenty available to love who are single. Your betrayal is horrid and so are you!
Sorry but whether he was happy in the marriage or not doesnât mean the infidelity is justified. Maybe in your mind but the rest of the world doesnât see it like that. He cheated and you were the tool to do so. You should block him in every sense and move tf on. If I were you Iâd hope and pray that the next serious relationship you are in, you dont get cheated on. Karma has a way of finding us, even if we think we are in the clear.
Work on yourself and maybe answer the question, Why was I okay being the side piece and not the main event.
For all of you being so cruel I hope that none of you live in glass housesâŚ
You will get over this, just like any other break up. It sucks, but with time it will get better. Work on yourself, take yourself on vacation, make a journal of your thoughts⌠Good luck.
And than he left his wife for you and you lived happily ever after⌠SIKE
Wait let me get this straight you actively engaged in a 5 year relationship with someone you knew couldnât fulfill a commitment to you going into the whole 5 year shebang and now you are questioning the ending? I think youâll get over it as a lesson learned. If youâd like a commitment you have to start with a solid base for it, which would be not starting a relationship with someone who you know will never be able to commit. Short answer is yeah youâll get over it if you give yourself time and do a little self work on why you thought this would end differently. Not being mean but want you to ask yourself honestly did you go into it thinking he would leave her for you? If so why? Are you trying to prove you are better than her? Are you trying to figure out your worth and value based on if heâd pick you? Thereâs gotta be a reason why you put yourself in that situation knowingly for 5 years and once you find the ugly truth to it youâll find what you need to heal from therefore finding the way to get over the situation. In addition you only know one side of the story, his. Which could all be one big lie. It might not be arranged marriage at all. You have no idea her narrative here. And take a moment to ponder how youâd feel in her shoes. Thatâs a lot of potential pain you inflicted on another woman you donât know and her children. So get digging for answers as to why you did it so willingly and start to heal those traumas as you go.
No sympathy for you. You have no clue what their marriage is u only know what he told youâŚyou are never going to find love with someone elseâs husband.
He will find someone else to sleep withâŚthatâs sad, heâs an adult if heâs unhappy he needs to get a divorce end of story
Im sorry âŚbut you dont get to have those feelings âŚnot being mean âŚbeing honest
So sad reading all of these comments. People just donât understand. I was dated a man who was âa single dadâ. I found out that he was married to 2 women (one lived in his home country and one lived in the US with but was from his home country). They both knew about me but when I found out about them I ended it. His wife who lives in the US called me and then came to see me asking if I would reconsider because we are all one big family and he was looking for an âAmerican wifeâ. I declined but things like the OP do happen and itâs acceptable in some cultures. She is most likely not a home wrecker and other things that she has been called. My advice is to move on and eventually find someone who can and will commit to you and only you.
Dang it. The comments. People make mistakes. I know this hurts but staying with an unavailable man would be way worse. 5 years of your life is a long time to give to someone. Breaking it off was the right thing to do. I imagine his wife has an inkling that thereâs been someone else. Letâs say in a âperfectâ world, he met you first and broke his familyâs traditions and was disowned by his family- that would take a huge toll on the relationship- I know people who have been through that- letâs look at the other he has kids- he leaves his wife- his whole family would pressure him on how heâs failing the family and God- his kids would hate you and blame you. Thereâs no way a situation like this has a win to it. Even if, being apart he decides on his own and leaves his wife, youâll always know he was unfaithful to his wife that he had sex with (physical attraction to) enough to have children with. If I were you, Iâd work with a cognitive behavioral therapist to get to the root of your thoughts, patterns, and behaviors- to understand yourself and these choices and make peace with yourself so that you can move forward. Youâre in a difficult situation loving someone you can never really have not fully. Itâs terrible. When I was 20 I met a man I had no idea was married- we were together for about 6 months when I figured it out. I left him bc that wasnât acceptable to me that he lied about soemthing so important. His wife deserved more and so did I. I could never build a life with someone who lied to me like that. Just beware heâs probably not going to leave you alone: which will only make it harder. Unfortunately this man has taken lots of time and life from Two women. His wife now wears shame bc Iâm sure she knows of the infidelity even just in he spirit and heâs wasted 5 years of your life with no promise of any future. This is very sad for everyone involved. Stay the course.
Good for u to realize you deserve better. You deserve a whole love, not one shared wit another woman. One day at a time, give urself time. It gets easier as time goes, be patient nâ kind to yourself. Best of luck moving forward
It will take time. The wounds will heal but you will never forget.
I stopped reading after the first sentence. That was enough for me to know I wouldnât have anything nice to say to you. People like you arenât worth it.
You canât help who you love. But you can be emotionally responsible and not pursue a relationship with someone unavailable to you. You donât have to choose to vacation with a married man. Iâm not trying to judge but you actively pursued this and kinda buried yourself in this mess. He should of been more of a man than to keep being married and have kids with one woman and also spend so much time and effort and vacation with a woman on the side. Therapy. Therapy. Therapy.
A sidechick for 5 years???
You should have known heâs not leaving his wife after the first year.
Youâve been able to justify the situation?! There is no justification sleeping with a married person. Smdh
Hummmm but you KNEW he was married. Lol you donât know anything about how he feels about his wife. Remember- men have two heads - they both talk about different things
Why do people keep saying âyou canât help who you love?â This woman knew this man was married. She continued this relationship for 5 years, well knowing exactly what she was doing? And her saying âoh I know heâs not attracted to her and doesnât have feelings for his wifeâ Have you met her? Whatâs her story? Did she know about you?
OP absolutely could help it but decided to be this person. You were never the first choice. Heâs having his cake and eating it too.
He fed you a line of bs saying what he knew you wanted to hear. You can get past this and find real love
Why are you making it seem like you were the "good person " for breaking it off. You were selfish in the first place for letting it go on so long and even letting it happen. Sorry but you thinking you or this situation was justified, is just making yourself believe yâall didnt do anything wrong. It doesnt matter if it was an arranged marriage. Its still marriage. Find someone single and leave the married men alone.
Gosh. Maybe we should tar and feather her or better yet a beheading? Hope everyone that is being negative is perfect. Heart break is heart break. She made a huge mistake. This is the exact reason people donât share and hence the reason many people take to harming themselves. Listen without judgement offer helpful advice or move on. Smh
Love heals wounds give it time stay busy
this is very sad, on your part., So just say, you got married & a woman met your husband & he had an affair with her for 5 yrs, Told her a bunch of bull shit, just how would you feel,??? Arranged or not, you cheated with a married man, End of story, And you are right, one canât help who they fall in love with. But having a relationship with a married man wasnât right, Being a friend with a man, is fine, as long as it doesnât go any farther
My mom always said God donât send you someone elseâs husband or wife thatâs all I know good luck to you though
Sounds like my great auntâŚshe was married to a man with that culture. He had another wife with 5 kids. She was married to him for the longest timeâŚthey all got along. It was all strange to me but he lived with his wife and kidsâŚshe had her own place. They would even come visit my aunt. Itâs allowed they can have up to several wifeâs. Just a big no for me but to each their own I guessâŚmy aunt passed away from cancer a couple years ago.
âYou canât help who you loveâ
THAT IS A HUGE LIE.
I was with a married man for roughly 6-9m⌠he was âseparatedâ from his wife which turned out to be true but there was WAYYYY more to the story and I didnât need more bs in my life. He was my best friend. Fast forward and now Iâm in a happy healthy relationship. Was it right? NOPE! But you canât change it now. Learn from it and do better in the future
Man, I donât get how you think your actions were justified! Heâs married and told you exactly what you wanted to hear! I get youâre hurt, but honestly you brought that upon yourself! I do wish you luck and even though you knew what you were doing, you need to know your worth and sorry you wonât find it in someoneâs husband.
Hope you learned your lesson.
You have to want better for yourself.
Time. Cut all contract with him and dive into your interest. Get to know yourself again.
Accept that it is not going to be easy.
Itâs never a good idea to mess around with a married manâŚno matter what the situation!
When you do find and marry someone, I hope he cheats on you after youâve had his children
Maybe then youâll understand how wrong it is what youâve done behind this womanâs back.
hes married and clearly wants to stay that way if itâs been 5 years. he has a connection with his wife and kids and strung you along for the ride. I hope itâs more obvious to you now. I am not here to bash you for decisions you cant take back now, but for future reference, thatâs what all married men who want to sleep around tell their mistress(es).
and yes, you will move on and find a healthy relationship and look back at this one with much different eyes.
Thats what u get for messing with a married man. I Don t feel bad for u 1 bit and no one should.
Men lie to reasure you so you will stay right there on the side.girl leave that family alone he not leaving her.
Donât sleep with married men, problem solved.
Regardless of the situation, heartbreak is hard.
My advice is BE STRONG; stay away from him now (delete/block his number and from all social media etc)!
Allow yourself time to grieve, and embrace those feelings. The end of a relationship is a big emotional loss after all. Cry as much as you need to, just try not to wallow in it.
And finally, focus on you! Watch your favourite movies, read your favourite books and really throw yourself into learning all about you.
Good luck on your journey
You will move on and it will get better
Arranged or not, theyâre still married. Wtf.
Youâll move on.
Hopefully you find a loyal man.
Dating a married man is a game and not a good one.
I believe that âWhat Godâs got for you is FOR youâ No one else can take it away.
Arranged marriage or not he made that commitment so he should never of strayed else where
Yes⌠youâll move on and find the love of YOUR LIFE⌠youâll marry⌠Hopefully heâll find his true love in someone else⌠while married to you⌠And karma will come knocking.
DONT SLEEP WITH SOMEONE ELSEâS HUSBAND.
Never had a physical attraction to her yet has kids with her,âŚyou a homewrecker looking for sympathy? wth? not from me. you got what you deserved now move on, be smarter next time.
Oh no, the married man broke your heart? No excuse for what you did. Please stop justifying the fact that you were a side chick to his wife for years. Itâs gross.
I personally think the husband is more to blame. HE is the one who has a âresponsibilityâ and âobligationâ to stay loyal to his wife⌠she didnât cheat on the wife, HE did. Yea itâs wrong that she continued the relationship knowing he was married. But in the end HE is the cheater.
Arranged or not⌠HEâS MARRIED!!!.. Also, there was some kind of physical attraction, you said KIDS not Child so on more than one occasion he had some physical interest. Collect yourself, respect yourself, and get to stepping.
Lol his dick got hard enough to get her pregnant multiple times id say heâs attracted to her. Now to your question âwill I ever move on from thisâ maybe if you can see whatâs wrong with your disgraceful disgusting actions you can.
When you find acceptance in interfering with a family because heâs not attracted to his wife anymore.
I hope that you are able to move on I may be wrong but it sounds like maybe the man is from an Eastern background? If this is correct then you already know that the chances are high that he will not leave his wife no matter how much he loves you or you love him.
It will be painful for you but hopefully time really heals all wounds. If youâd like to have a chat youâre welcome to DM me Good luck.
He was married. Stop trying to justify being a homewrecker.
Expect that you made a choice to be the other woman.
Expect that you should have better.
And take it day by day.
Youâre crazy. Karmas a bit*h.
You knew he was married and continued this for 5 years. Someone in the comments said they hope when you marry that your husband does this to you too. I have no sympathy for you. Have some respect for yourself and respect for other peoples relationships. Period.
Ok like I could understandâŚuntil I got to the KIDS part. W. T. FâŚhe had a relationship with her. Period. GirllllllâŚsmh do better
I might sound heartless but I have zero pity for a woman who knowingly put herself in this position to begin with. He was married and you didnt care because HE told you he wasnt attracted to his wife. Cheaters will say anything to cheat. Use it as a lesson. Other than that, again, I do not pity you at all.
Sorry, but you TOTALLY choose who you love. People choose not to go out with certain types of people - why they ate attacted to some and not others in 1st place. Skinny vs fat. Blond vs dark.hair. Tall vs short, etc. Add married men to that list. What were you thinking would happen?
KIDS, as in multipleâŚ.girl he played you for 5 years. You werenât in a relationship, you were played. Obviously he was physically attracted and active enough to make more than 1 kid. He lied to you. The whole relationship was a lie. The quicker you accept that the easier moving on will be. This wasnât a real relationship. It was a lie. Repeat that to yourself every day. Also, regardless of if itâs arranged or not, she deserves to know if she doesnât already.
To other commenters, yes what this woman did was wrongâŚ.but sheâs not the homewrecker here. HE IS. He is the one that made vows and children with his wife. He is the one that chose to step out on his wife. He is the home wrecker.
Is she in the wrong, yes but you guys are coming at her like she is a horrendous witch and acting like she is the ONLY one at fault. she is NOT a homewrecker. Homewreckers DO NOT exist. Someone had to open the door. Period. They are BOTH wrong. Stop calling her a homewrecker. Equal guilt equal responsibility, they need to come clean to. Arranged marriage or not, no love or not, wife deserves to know. And âinside the familyâ you need to clarify, like was he forced to marry his cousin or something? Idc of its Religion or culture or whatnot, thats disgusting.
A married man once told me, he cheats for the thrill of it. Not because he dosent love his wife. He was very aggressive about it and was always on the hunt. Really gross .
You have done the most difficult part by walking away Now move on be kind to your self and take one day at a time
Therapy, you most definitely need it, you seem to think youâre the one here that needs sympathy, when itâs the wife thatâs the only victim here, get your own life, youâre just sharing the crumbs of someone else
GOOD F***ING JOB! I have absolutely no sympathy for you. What an absolute POS, the pair of you. Karma will come knocking one day, brace yourself. You reap what you sow.
My suggestion⌠talk to his wife. Be honest about what happened⌠your emotions and feelings of everything involving you both. Give her a chance to decide too⌠she might have always wanted to leave that man⌠maybe, she felt unattractive about him tooâŚbut stuck on just because of the kids and social pressures. She might thank you for giving her that opportunity to move on too!
You should tell his wife about the affair⌠She has every right to know the type of man she really has as a husband and father to her kids.
She deserves to know the truth so she can make a decision as to whether she wants to be with a chronic liar and cheater or move on considering the way her husband feels about her.
If she kicks him out you can have him and perhaps he wil do this to u too. You deserve him