File for the child support there may become a time in your life when you need it he’s responsible for the child coming into the world as much as you are don’t give him the easy way out and not pay child support he’s obligated to the child as much as you are he’s also obligated to support the child as much as you are it’s his choice not to be part of its life but he should pay his part he doesn’t get to just walk away and leave you holding all responsibility military we’ll see what that you get your child support I don’t they’ll be any repercussions for him because of it other than the payment of child support he’s a weasel and a loser you don’t have to have any contacts with him but he should hold with his responsibilities that’s part of being an adult
Take him to court, and get child support.
Go for child support. Screw him and his parents. You got this your a warrior. You don’t need them.
Pick a new family for him.
Go after this guy…100%… he is part of this too… even if he wants nothing to do with his child… go after him…hes being an ass… the military will help you as well… this is for your child anyway…
Leave them out of it and seek support. They’re awful.
Be prepared for 18+ years of hardship and being a single mom. I’d really consider if having this child is right at the moment.
He’s a piece of shit and honestly, in sure his Commanding Officer would just LOVE to hear how much of a punk coward he’s being about this situation. Definitely go after him for the military child support. It takes two people to make a child. Military WILL take support from his paychecks whether he likes it or not.
Good afternoon him for child support and don’t stop until you get it. If he doesn’t want to be in the child’s life, that’s his loss. You and your baby will be just fine. DO NOT let him intimidate you in any way. If his parents don’t want a relationship with the baby, then that’s their loss also. Stay strong. God is with you all the way.
A agree if you can do it on your own it is best to do that and not ask him for anything. It isnt fair because he should have to pay but if he pays he will want to be in the kids life and your kid doesnt deserve to have to spend time with someone that doesnt want him. I would caution not to ever let your chikd know their dad didnt want them. That isn’t fair to them. Just be the best mom you can be for your chikd and they will figure it out when they are older. Also please be careful of who you choose to be in your life from here on out and make sure they dont hurt your babies. My hope for you is that you find a wonderful partner than will love both your babies like their own. Good luck!
Girl screw that asshole ! Have that baby and get child support bc he deserves it ha . And you deserve that child and to not have to give it up. And he needs to take responsibility also .
If you know his military unit, contact the CO- Commanding Officer and they can help direct you through the process of seeking child support, which can be garnished directly his paycheck. I’m sorry for you and I understand- I raised four children single-handedly for 17 years. You won’t get the emotional support you want for your child, but frankly the child is better off with one strong great parent than watching that parent constantly being emotionally challenged - or worse - by the other parent. Keep track of where he moves on to, etc., and hold him to his responsibilities. I’m sure there are others out there who will say “ all she wants is the money.” …. Well, yeah, idiots - that’s what pays the bills and keeps the children warm and fed. He’s responsible, you were in a relationship, and if he wanted to make sure he didn’t get you pregnant, he should have covered it up in addition to your birth control.
Definitely drag him to court once the baby is born! For this he will get into trouble and the child support will be paid to you directly once his salary comes in to my understanding. Don’t force a relationship between your child and him or his family. His a coward and his parents are enablers your child will be better off without them
He won’t get in trouble for getting you pregnant unless he’s already married, or if he abandons this child.
Hum, the only way he would get in trouble is if he’s already married. Get a lawyer for full custody asap and do a dna testing when it’s appropriate. Take that ass for child support. You can’t force him to be a Dad. And if he still gives you a hard time, contact his CO. They don’t play games. Lose that dead weight.
As a veteran and as a former military spouse I can promise you he would not be in trouble for knocking someone up unless he is legally married to someone else. He’s giving you a line of BS. Your child will actually be eligible for getting a military dependent card while the father is active duty. The child will be eligible for tri-care prime and can be seen on a military base for free medical care. The military also has extremely affordable dental insurance that you should pressure him into getting for the child. Much better than civilian version of dental Insurance. Don’t let him bully you into something horrible because he is lying to you
He helped make the baby so he is legally and morally responsible for 50% whether he wants to be or not. If he chooses the immoral path of having no relationship, he’s still liable financially. Good luck 
Get that child support! If he doesn’t want to be involved, fine but he is still responsible for y’all making that baby that you are keeping.
if he’s active military that baby automatically gets health insurance as long as he’s enrolled the military always make sure that kids are insured. he can sign over his rights to see his child but he’s not gonna sign away his financial responsibility most states will still make the father pay some sort of child support even if they don’t want to visit the kid. until another person adopt a kid and claims financial responsibility for said child. as far as your other child’s father he stepped up and took responsibility right away. if a man is taking responsibility paying for bills paying for childcare and you guys decided to split your time there’s no reason to get courts involved it just makes everything messy.
I’ve never heard of service men getting in trouble for getting their GF’s pregnant. However if he skips out on child support I do believe THAT can get them in trouble with the military branch.
Seek child support. He is a narcissistic POS! AND HIS BIT…A… MOTHER! How in the world could they? It’s those types of ppl who have run our country amuck!
What are you concerned with, the money or the father connection with your child? You have to make that decision. As for him and his family having nothing to do with the unplanned baby. Kick them to the curb and go on about your business.
They obviously want no part of things, so don’t expect anything. If you seek child support, do so without any BS. Just go through the courts and leave them alone.
I don’t thing the Future Grands want nothing to do with the baby. 9 weeks is early days, and considering you kind of sprang it on them that 1) you are pregnant, 2) their son is irresponsible 3) your entire past - in one fell swoop, they might have been overwhelmed.
I would follow up in a few weeks with something like - “I know how overwhelming my last communique must have been, but I’d like to keep you in the loop, with updates, if you’d like. Can I add you to my circle?”
The guy made it clear he didn’t want children with her! I doubt she got pregnant on birth control. I don’t think she’s as ignorant about his military status as she’s portraying. He’s not a bad guy because she didn’t prevent pregnancy.
Wow if he doesn’t want to support the child have a court of law help him to change his attitude. Seek a paternity judgment!!
If you have child 100% of time there would be no reason for paying him child support. As for paternal grandparents, I would send announcement when baby born and write a simply note saying you would love to have them meet the baby and ask them to contact you to set time and place. They will happily answer or ignore you. Either way you will have your answer.
Don’t sign anything. He knows what he got into and is now being a coward by running away… Not a real man in my opinion.
The support is for the baby… file on him.
This guy’s gonna be a dead beat. Get paternity tests, child support, and ditch em otherwise
Have him terminate his rights on paper and be done with him.
The military will make him pay child support… that is bs
The only way he would get in trouble with the military was if he was married to sole one else and cheating on her and got your pregnant.
He is just saying that because he doesn’t want to provide for you or the child, and with him being military, that kid would have some decent benefits. He is being selfish, get ready for a long annoying narcissistic battle
Maybe a third man, a third child will solve everything. And if that doesn’t work, try a fourth man, get pregnant again. Maybe that will work.
Rebecca Benton This bastard 
Get the child support. He will not be in trouble with the military. Your baby deserves it. Best of luck to you.
U cant force him ur not married
Well, he is a liar. Go for child support. He is 50% responsible for this child and should support it financially. He is using a lot of fear mongering, gaslighting bullshit to scare you. HE IS LYING.
No, he can’t get in trouble for getting you pregnant. That’s laughable. Tell him to start wearing condoms and stop using abortions as birth control! (I know he’s an ex but he’ll do this with the next girl and the next girl and the next girl…). I’m sorry you got mixed up with such a loser. I’m sorry you felt pressured to terminate the other pregnancy (although you guys agreeing to keep the next one no matter when so you terminate the first one makes zero sense to me). Absolutely go for child support. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that at all! Congrats for going through with this pregnancy and I hope this child is a huge blessing to you.
These little boys just want pussy I don’t know when you guys are going to realize that
get a lawyer- this is ridiculous ~
Child support for sure
Keep it. Your decision 100%.
Contact military and get your child support !!!
He cant make u not go after child support just cause he is military and also he cant get in to trouble or anything for u getting pregnant that just some bullshit lie he made up
Sounds to me like he has a secret wife/family n ur the side chick (sorry) don’t sign anything. He sounds like a selfish prick n I’d b cutting contact otherwise he’s gunna make your life hell
He sounds like a scumbag I would make him pay
If he doesn’t want to be involved at all he has to go to court and file to sign his rights away. It’s not your job to do that on his behalf and even if it was - you can’t. If you want to take him to court over child support/custody you can do that. Without him legally signing away his rights and without you going to court to put in custody boundaries he has all the same rights as you do to your child together - regardless if he participates in the child’s life or how long he goes without contact. Keep this in mind if you’d rather go at it alone but avoid the court hearings to get everything official. He could literally flip on you when your kid is 5, show up and get them from school and not tell you anything as long as he can prove he’s a biological parent.
Eff him and his family. But get those benefits for your child. It takes two to make a baby and regardless of whatever BS he’s feeding you, he’s responsible financially for that child. And as others have said, there are other benefits your child is eligible for since he’s in the military.
You’ve done your part and been very mature and upfront about the entire situation. Don’t stress yourself any further about him being a physician part of your baby’s life. He sucks.
This is going to be long. This is an advice piece feel free to completely ignore me like I’m blowing hot air out my ass or take it seriously.
This sounds like my ex Andrew. To the letter. The abortion, birth control, the betrayal of support, the my work will kill me thing, the parents.
Is he married?
You already have a child so you know the financial, emotional, mental, and time cost that children generate.
Keep the receipts for anything you buy this child. Have copies of all of your appointments anything medical everything to do with the pregnancy. Just file it away. (Do yourself a favor and get an accordion folder, and put it all in chronological order. A pocket for food, a pocket for clothing, a pocket for medical, and a pocket for non-necessities)
If he’s that worried about getting in trouble, I would suggest that you go down to your local county clerk look up his record and see if he has any outstanding warrants or things that would be considered red flags if so that are available to public print them and add them to your file.
I don’t know if it is possible for you to get in contact with his superiors but I would attempt to do so just so they are aware of the situation.
As for the grandparents or any other members of his family that’s a really tricky situation. My best advice is to leave it where it lay for now, but screen shot and keep Everything. I would think that once that beautiful baby is here, and they are forced to look at that little face that at least grandma and grandpa‘s tune is suddenly going to change.
Unfortunately in the situation‘s grandma and grandpa either get incredibly helpful and compliant or they make apply to take your child. This is where having all of your previous documentation from everything receipts etc. comes in handy. If they do the right thing and just want to be good grandparents then continue keeping track of screenshots and recording everything, make sure that you set up a certain schedule and keep your boundaries known.
Boundaries is going to be a very very big thing. Do not allow these people baby daddy or grandparents to yo-yo them selves in and out of you and your child’s life. No matter what explanation reason or excuses they give. One of the biggest and most important boundaries you’re going to need to consider if they decide to broach a relationship with your child, is what relationship that child has with their father at that point in time, if he doesn’t want one then you need to decide if the boundary is that he may no longer have one and if so rather or not he’s allowed to be around the child while in grandparents care.
As for the military thing, yes the military is huge and pushing the traditional family unit and the support of it. In fact as far as I know there are still classes you have to take in certain branches of the military before you get married about how you are to treat your spouse. Please do not feel bad, if he was already aware that this could get him in trouble at work he’s already taken some degree of classes and how to treat people in what is expected of him and he knows that he’s crossing those boundaries. He knew he was crossing them the first time he got you pregnant or he wouldn’t of been so upset and so adamant about an abortion. He knew what he was doing taking the risks he took and sleeping with you. Do not feel bad taking this to his superiors, because he does not feel bad for the emotional mental and physical stress he’s putting on you and his own child. So long as you have majority or full custody he will Owe you child support if you decide to seek it.
I will note that if you choose to seek child support based on what you said already about the parents that will cause at least his mother to likely lash out at you, because based on the sound of her message she is one of his enabler‘s.
The very last thing that I will suggest and it is just in case he ever makes a play for custody of your child after everything he is putting you through, please reach out once or twice a year to him and his family. Give them a full update on your child’s medical for the year, their mental and physical progress, and include photos. Never ask for help, never mention the cost of what it is to bear or support this child to them. Unless you are taken in front of a judge I can use it as a defense. You didn’t get out your folder you get out all your screenshots and you say this is what I’ve put into this child financially on my own, this is how many times I’ve reached out and give them an opportunity to build a relationship they are now demanding, I have never once asked for help financially for this child but I believe that that would be a good place to start. Then you can negotiate the rest of your terms rather not you even want them in your child’s life, rather you want them to attend therapy first, rather you want the visits supervised or short or on certain days or prohibiting certain family members or activities.
Treat them like they’re always going to come around, but no your boundaries defend them and keep record of everything. It’s tedious it’s going to make you feel like a bad person at times, it’s gonna make you feel like you’re overreacting at times, but taking these precautions in a situation like that can help protect you and your child from trauma over the next few decades of your lives.
I wish you and your children the absolute best if you ever need any advice that you think I can provide feel free to just message me.
Yikes this comment thread is so ugly
Go for child support and don’t allow the family to be involved. They made their decision. The mother’s response is ridiculous. You should have told her to bad you didn’t raise a responsable son who can take care of his responsibilities and man the F$&! Up.
Forget all of them and take him to court for child support.
If you were actively trying to prevent it, it’s not like you were trying to trap him. And since he wants to offer ZERO support, take his ass to court for child support.
It takes TWO to make a baby.
Honestly I don’t think I’d even mess with it. Just leave them alone and have your baby.
Before anything you need to establish if he is the father or not through a paternity test. Even if you already know he is. Once it’s established on paper, the government will help get the ball rolling on everything else.
If he chooses to sign over his parental rights, which is what it sounds like he will do… then he is not going to be held responsible for ANYTHING not even child support.
Ummm , who cares if a job is not happy with him , in fact good …. Just work on yourself and child to have a healthy pregnancy. He doesn’t deserve a lady or children in his life and he’s basically told and shown you that. There is no state that I know no statethat will let a father get out of financial responsibility unless child is being adopted by someone else, then he can sign away rights. Look, sounds like he is trying to stress you out , to pressure you into his decision.
Unless he’s married he won’t get in trouble
Put him on child support! He helped make that child be needs to help take care of that child
It’s very early days personally I wouldn’t of reached out to the family until closer to the birth. I would now wait until bubs is born and then send a photo and a bit of an update and offer again for them to be involved, the dad may also come around once bubs is born however for now focus on you and your family, wishing you all the best.
At 1st I was all for “he has a choice too, not just you”. But he pressured you into an abortion and tried to do it again. It takes 2. I agree with other comments, no drama. I wouldn’t even had reached out to his parents tbh, at least not until after baby was born and if it was still bothering you. You’re barely 9 weeks and don’t know how it’ll play out yet. Make sure your child is taken care of. Don’t sign anything saying he doesn’t have to pay. Even if you decide you don’t need his help, you don’t have to file for c.s. but I would want medical for my baby. He made his bed when he didn’t learn from the 1st time. I wasn’t able to do abortion, but my sister and a friend did. They said it was traumatic & they still think about it. He shouldn’t have asked you to do it again, he’s only thinking of himself. I sincerely wash you and bubs the best. May your little one fill your heart with joy and love 
He is not going to get in trouble with the military. He’s lying. File support and custody once baby is here. Baby is entitled to tricare as his dependent. Personally I’d make sure to fight for the tricare. That means he has to add him to his page 2. And the extra between single and dependent BAH.
The only way he’d be in trouble with the military would be if he were already married. Take care of yourself and your babies. Sounds like you are better off. And…claim that child support!
Personally I wouldn’t go for child support or anything. He doesn’t want to be involved. He’s made that clear. Naming him as the father is just opening you up to him using that baby to cause you all kinds of misery. You can’t even guarantee he’ll pay the ordered amount. The military might force him now. It’s unlikely hell be in the military for 18 years.
If he’s stated how he feels and you were taking your bc then he has every right to not be involved if that’s what he chooses. Have him sign his rights away and then you never have to worry about him again… shouldn’t make him pay child support for a child he’s repeatedly told you he doesn’t want
The military has something called “moral turpitude”. It means he can’t just go around fathering children and just skipping off into the sunset. His behavior could cost him his next promotion, or earn him a reduction in grade. Get yourself in touch with one of the post chaplains. They can get you on the road to the benefits that the child deserves. You don’t have to maintain a personal relationship if that is what you want, but the child has rights, which means that as adults you and the father have responsibilities.
You better get child support. You have no reason not to. What he did was fucked up. Hes immature and this may be the lesson he needs. Have you ever thought he’s done this to someone else before since hes so bold about it with you?
If he doesn’t want the child don’t force it. Give the kid a happy life. I get that having a mother and a father is good for children but forcing a man to be a father when he has expressed he has no want or need to will NOT end well.
Girl seek child support especially if he wants nothing to do with the child he helped make it and should help raising even if it’s just financially…
This is going to be ur hardest struggle. Do u really want him in you and ur childs life? Seriously think about it. If you pursue child support, he will have rights. It’s very hard to do one without the other. However right now you also have the choice of not having that headache at all. Yes both choices will be hard, you will struggle n doubt your choices but do what u think is right for you and your child. There is a ton of help out there for you, just stay strong and listen to your gut.
Looks like this is your baby. You are not a kid, you are 25 yrs old. If you are not able to financially able to care for another child on your own perhaps you should look towards giving it up.
You were not at the party alone, when your baby was conceived. Just because he doesn’t want the responsibility does not mean he doesn’t own it! Being a single parent is more difficult than having a good co-parenting relationship with the other parent. And when you have the child 100% of the time you will need to pay caregivers while you work. Good childcare is expensive! Your expenses deduct from your income. Establish paternity and get child support. He might grow up and want to be in your child’s life later on too.
Jeeze, harsh judgmental comments are not helpful. Shit happens. Mamma, good of you to leave the door open for family to be involved. They may or may not end up wanting involvement. Either way, continue being the bigger person for the kid’s sake. If you can afford to raise the child alone, alot of headaches are avoided by not having to deal with a dead beat dad at all. However, the court will say the child is entitled to support from the father, and that is true. For me it was never worth the hassle to pursue, but it may be worth it to you. Good luck! 
If you have full custody of the child, you would not pay child support. If it’s joint custody, you might have to. Depends on the court order and where the child is living. Basically, there will be a custodial parent who the child lives with and non-custodial where the child visits. However, it sounds like you would be granted full custody. I would file for child support. You never know what may happen, and that extra support could mean everything. Him being in the military basically will ensure he has to pay it, he can’t hide from it, which is probably why he wants something saying you won’t come after him for it. File for it, and get the monetary help you need from him. If I hadn’t done that with my first child, I would have ended up with a special needs daughter and no partner or financial help for 3 years. It was still hard but I was grateful for that money when he paid it.
Contact his command he is responsible for child support and they will make sure he pays as long as he’s in the service. And your child will be eligible for medical insurance thru him too.
I wish I had never asked my ex for help. It was nothing but a headache. And I have found my boys respect me and most likely would have respected me more if I had left me ex as an ex and just raised my them on my own.
I’m sure you will find a step-up parent and never need the ex who sounds like total trash to me.
Or if it is Gods plan you will be an amazing mom in your own.
Regardless of what the father does for a living, establish paternity and file for child support and primary custody, the child is his responsibility too. Now whether he or his family choose to have a relationship with the child is entirely their choice. You cannot force a relationship someone does not want.
Just curious, was he possibly married or involved? That would make sense as to why he would want nothing to do with you once he found out you wouldn’t abort this child. Would blow his cover. Don’t let him throw this all on you. Make him pay child support. It’s the least he can do since he sounds like such an ass.
Now if this was the UK, I’m sure that it law to pay for you child, whether you were married or not. A least I read from child support said if the other parent does pay after several attempts they can be imprisoned. My philosophy is, if you old enough and ready enough to have sex then your ready enough to be a parent and be responsible
Fuck that guy go after him for child support go after him for everything and have them serve the papers to him in front of his military bosses he is held to a higher responsibility being in the military and should be upholding his responsibilities even if he doesn’t want to be a part of the child’s life do not sign anything saying that you won’t come after child support that’s bullshit. Honestly it sounds like hes just being a coward and is a little bitch about it take him to court get your money don’t let him walk all over you like this just because he blocks you on social media and your phone number doesn’t mean you can’t come out for him for child support
Never sign anything make him pay for his child next time try depo shot
You sound like a strong woman, I think you are very capable to boot this fuckwit ex out of your life and raise a happy healthy baby by yourself. Of course its nice to have a dad…but not a necessity.
Katie Lee read this
Go for child support.