I’d have him sign his rights away and leave it at that. It sucks, however if he doesn’t want to be involved that’s his choice. If you want the baby, then I think it’s your responsibility to take care of it in every way, including financially. Trust me, you don’t want him involved. And it know it might be weird and might not work, but maybe your ex would be willing to step up as a father figure for this child. After all it is his kids sibling. Worth a shot 
I won’t bother with him. I will wait until I give birth and feel strong enough to deal with the courts. Go to family court and file a paternity petition…once that is established they will proceed with child support…and if he wants visitation rights that will be on him…good luck…
Take him to court!!
Also he’s bullshitting you about getting in trouble unless he’s secretly married to someone else. The military will take child support and DEFINITELY get that.
Diffenitly get child support. It doesn’t have to be a lot by just to start means your child will have the benefits. He is just as responsible as you are. It is great that you going to raise it by yourself but it is not easy with no help believe me.
The baby would be entitled to certain benefits being the child of an Active Duty member. Big one is Medical Care.
Here is my opinion…this is an unplanned pregnancy that ex has made clear he does not want. You could force him to support the unwanted child, but is it worth it? I suggest you either have him relinquish his rights & raise the child yourself, or have you considered adoption? Either way, it is your choice…but I do suggest that you be very selective in any future relationships & make sure that before you get intimate with someone, that they are committed to the relationship & to your children.
You can still get child support even if he wants nothing to do with the child. Your child deserves this financial help. You can’t force him to be involved but you can force him to be responsible. You did not create this child alone. Definitely get the support but don’t f once him to be involved in his life
It is good he is in Military. He will have to pay child support . That is why he does not want you to report this . You NEED to report it to Military!! So your child will be taken care of.
Do not get another abortion have your child .
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To be honest I wouldn’t make him pay. He’s already said he would basically give up his parent rights. Understandable him suggesting termination isn’t nice because my daughters dad auntie suggested this to me when I was 9 weeks pregnant and it’s horrible some one saying that. I would not want any involvement, he’s made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby, two wrongs do not make a right. He wronged you I would not go to his level and cut contact all together as hard as it will be. That child will grow up with a loving family no matter what x
Knowing from what you’ve posted here he clearly stated he wants nothing to do with the child and wants to sign his rights away then you should allow him to do so. When you made the choice to keep the child you made the choice to take full responsibility of the child because when you told him he told you his intentions right off the bat. Obviously of he wanted you to have an abortion the first time he is not ready willing or able to be a father and just as he cannot force you to abort the child you cannot force him to be in the child’s life. This pendulum swings both ways. You have rights but so does he and you cannot force someone who you’ve already known doesn’t want to be a father to suddenly become one because you decided to keep the child when he didn’t want you to.
This is a hard decision. But. I would say you dont want him or his family to retaliate and use the child to get back at you. And there are some that will.
If you can make it on your own do so. It seems they have made there stance clear. And, do you really want him to be able to have a say in your life going forward? Do you want to open the door to them verbally, emotionally hurting this baby?
sadly it can happen that he could ask for child support. depends on the state u live in and the circumstances. ur best bet is to seek out a lawyer to help u with all the issues that will come up.
The child would have military health care. You must think of that not just child support.
He would not get support unless he got custody. He IS responsible financially for half of the child upbringing. I would go for support. Once baby is here he MAY change his mind about visitation.
Get child support. From him for your child. That is the least he can do and apparently that will be all he ever does. It is his responsibility as part of the parent ! Make him man up and do his part however distant he wants to be ! Then live your life raising your children knowing you did everything you could for them !
If he is military, the only reason why he would get in trouble for you being pregnant is because he is married. That he could lose ranking for but besides that, he can’t get in trouble
Yes seek child support…is this man married … or have a significant other, just seems this way to me… tells is other partner he’s away when really he’s with you…something is suss about this guy
If he doesnt want anything to do with this baby, so be it. Get along with your own life WITH YOUR BABY. DONT listen to him or anyone else. Having to go through a termination yet again because of him is so wrong.
Hes very immature.
Continue with this pregnancy.
Have this little darling in your life. You wont be thinking I shouldnt have, all over again. His whole family need to pull their heads in and deal with this in a civil way.
Take him to court for maintenance. How many others has he done this to. I doubt youll ever know. Twice with you so the chances are high!
Get out of his life. He doesnt deserve you and you dont deserve a callous family like his.
Please take care of this little one. They will enrich your life, no matter what.
Can you move elsewhere very easily. Thats what I would do if possible!
Move as far away as possible NOW because if you do continue this pregnancy he could become a B and stop you moving. Move now and and claim your babies rightful money. Dont even tell any of his family that youve moved. They could hound you!
I wish you the best of luck and hope that you sincerely continue with this little darling you are carrying. That family just does not deserve you.
Theres someone else out there somewhere who will take you and your baby, as a package.
Thats the type of person you truly deserve.
Best Wishes…
He didn’t want to have a baby so let him absolve his rights.
My oldest is from a previous relationship, when I got pregnant he freaked and asked me to get an abortion, I didn’t.
He’s never met my 12 year old, no contact, no nothing. I told his parents when I was pregnant and they were on board with him not wanting anything to do with my son.
He now has 3 children, I haven’t contacted him for a couple of years after being ignored every time.
I’m sad that my son will never know his heritage ( his dads Macedonian) but I’ve got a partner who I’ve been with since my son was 1 and he loves him like his own.
File support and inform his commad, he will get in trouble for not taking care of his child and they only way you would be paying child support if you gave the dad full custody, but i hope that will not be the case and if he truly does not want to be apart of the childs life then he can revoke his parental rights to the child
Sounds like a dropkick to me, take him for all he is worth.
Your baby deserves the entitlements & the right to know who his/her father is, he will likely let the child down, but you will always be there.
#singlemummayougotthis 
Why are you asking adviceyou know that you need to get the service he is in know.your child deserves better then fighting all the time they are better off not knowing them until they are pld enough to decide what they want
Go for child support. Visitation will be his own responsibility. You and your child both deserve help. If he wants to play that game then you need to play it better.
Get an attorney and get court orders in place.
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Based on the information provided… if he is choosing to not participate in the child’s life, he is responsible to pay for child support. He has already stated that he wants you to terminate. However, this is very much your decision. The military does not stand for this BS (I am sure his fellow soldiers or maybe commanding officer agree with his decision, but the moment you filed the military will take care of it as far as child support goes while he is in service). If he decides he wants to eventually see his child, then at that point you decide what’s the best. Your child may want to know his father and their family and that’s fine, but you can’t force others to love them back. Sincerely wish you the best.
Yes go for child support. They will take it from his military pay and they could demote him but he will stay in military
It’s his kid whether or not he wants the child or not he has a responsibility to support the child. And if he isn’t gonna be a mature responsible adult and talk about it then definitely need to file child support. He wanted you to sign bc he knows the military will stay on him about it and he is trying to manipulate you into signing something so that he doesn’t have to ever pay. You didn’t make that baby on your own.
Go for child support and yes, the military will make him pay the cs…it will come out and be sent to you before he even gets paid
maybe open adoption?someone that can’t have a baby?adoption better than abortion!
I understand wanting child support. I understand wanting him to have to uphold his responsibility. But. It’s a big BUT, doing so also gives him rights to the child. The right to take the child unsupervised unless he’s proven unfit. Gives him to right to make decisions you might not agree with. He sounds like the type to do things against you just to be spiteful. I would make him sign a paper to absolve all rights and do it myself.
I was in the military and I have never heard of getting in trouble for being pregnant or getting somebody pregnant. That sounds like a cop out to me unless ofcoarse he is married because the military doesn’t take adultery very lightly
Military will 100% make him pay child support and have the child on his insurance unless he completely signs away his parental rights
Yeah no the military thing is bs, they get an increase in pay for every child they have.
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This guy will leave the military ASAP, get it handled. Child support follows you wherever you work, tho
They dont sound like the kind of people you want around your children to begin with
I am a bit puzzled…
Is your question about the relationship with the grandparents?
Or is it about child support?
These are completely different.
How well do you know your ex? This kind of sounds suspicious on his side, like he’s married. Y’all agreed to forgo protection during sex because if it happens it happens, but he’s expected you to abort every child y’all have conceived. Red flags all of the place.
It’s his child too!! He should pay support. But he also should see child, if he wants to. Make him decide, and live with that decision… you can do this.
You need a lawyer from YOUR local area. Laws differ from state to state. There are procedures for him to sign away his rights, but it’s possible he may still have to pay child support.
Great can have a child without interference from them but get in writing so they cant come back at you
Yes get on to your ex unit they must have family Officers and tell them what has happened and refused to have any thing to do with you but you are entitled with help and they will pay you out of his money and they will sort it out, he will not get into trouble with his job just take the money out every month
Don’t listen to people that say do you really want to go to court? Because the answer is yes anyway. Each state has different ways of dealing with child support and not all of them are in a courtroom. Even if they are in a courtroom, your child deserves to have a life that is not in poverty. He decided to have sex, after already making you pregnant, he knows the consequences. While it is very painful that he and possibly his family don’t want the baby, you will move on from that although it’s hard to see now. Also if he signs away his parental rights he won’t have to pay child support keep that in mind. Also he may say he doesn’t want the child now but he could change his mind when the kid is 5 or 10 etc and a judge will give him visitation or more on paper. I learned all this the hard way when my oldest child’s dad got a new gf that said he should be a father to his child and he took her from me, took her out of school and kept her until I got a lawyer and established custody, we only had a verbal agreement until that point. Sadly there are men that should get vasectomies because they really don’t want kids and make awful fathers. There are women in that category too but since we are talking about men…
The are reason he would get in trouble is if he is married to another
Seek child support the child doesn’t need to suffer for lack of things because the parents slipped up. The Ex is responsible no matter what shiz he tries to give you. Do not sign anything waiving any rights. Consult an attorney. And please find a more reliable birth control for future relations.
Write him off and raise the baby yourself. He would get zero rights to the baby. Why set your kid up with a father and grandparents that don’t want him/her? He would have that right if you get child support. He doesn’t deserve a child.
I don’t understand why you want him to pay child support for a child that he didn’t want. You both took the proper steps to avoid having this kid yet you’re forcing it on him ? That’s unfair. If you wanted the abortion & he didn’t you’d get away with it.
Get a paternity test and file for child support. The military does not mess around with this and they will make sure he pays. You will be fine .
U lay u pay, bottom line even if the chance was slim your a grown adult
He didnt wrap up therefore he should.pay up.
if he wants nothing to do with it then he needs to sign all of his parental rights away
Child Support . . . it takes two to make a baby . . accidental or not!
Go after him and get child support. So many guys think they can tell you what to do go after him the military is good
Nope keep the baby thays your choice never sign anything. Take him to court 
I’ve been through all of that and I can say:
1- No. You don’t get in trouble if you get someone pregnant while you’re in the military. He just doesn’t want to share his benefits with the kid because he’s selfish. Period.
2- it doesn’t matter what you sign. The courts won’t care! The child has rights and once paternity is established, he owes child support. That is the child’s right, not yours. You cannot sign it away, even if you wanted to.
3- Abortion is an option, not an obligation. If you love your baby and want to have a second child, continue the pregnancy. Do what’s best for you! I am currently pregnant with my 2nd as well and I’m doing it all alone. You can do this, mama!
And yes, GET CHILD SUPPORT! You didn’t make this baby by yourself. He has to grow up and be responsible. You will sacrifice a lot to keep this baby. A little extra money is always welcome!
I hope everything works out for you. I’ll pray for you and your baby!
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Yes call his work!!! Seek child care for sure. Good luck!!!
He definitely is responsible for providing child support for that child don’t let him get away without living up to his legal obligation he will keep impregnating and leaving he is a creep take care of yourself and your babies needs
I go for child support with him being in the military the child will get benefits n medical. With the way things are going now days u will need that for ur child .
For all those questioning her use of contraceptives: she took her birth control every day. She set an alarm and took it at the EXACT same time every day and never missed a dose. They discussed what would happen should she ever get pregnant again and he said he would never ask her to terminate again and he would support her. When she brought up the pregnancy to him (it was a shock to her because she was being careful as she didn’t want to have to make a decision again that she struggled with in the first place) he mentioned abortion was an option if she was not ready, but he told her he’d support her through her decision regardless. Then he switched up and did this. He knew the consequences of having sex and they had already talked about what would happen if she got pregnant again
Get that child support, girl. He ain’t gonna help physically he sure can financially.
You had better seek child support!
Time to see a lawyer. Definitely ask for child support
Call his command they will help you through getting support, medical, commissary benefits.
Definitely go for child support…
Make him him pay tf ? Specially after he just dropped you after making such empty promises.
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Best of luck this will be a hard time for you with him saying what he has.
I would definitely make him pay cuz it took TWO of you to get pregnant. However, if he wants to sign his rights away, I’d let him. He sounds like the kind of “man” you wouldn’t want around your child anyway. I was a single mom for over five years. I had a six year old and a five month old when I threw my ex husband out. I made it and you can too!! 
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I’d write him, and his family, off and seek child support.
Whether he likes it or not he’s gonna be a dad. That child deserves the support and so do u. U need to take him to court and he needs to pay and be responsible
Time will tell if a relationship will happen between the two but that is something u will be dealing with
He mite be an ass but your baby needs to know who the sperm donor is if they ever want to pursue it
Do not sign any documents…if he wants you to sign tell him take u to court so it’s all legal
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Go after the child support. The military will make him pay. Maybe one day he will man up
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Go to court and get child support. It takes 2 to make a baby!
Wow ! 
okay … 1. You are the sole provider of this child & you need to make sure he/she is taken care of. He doesnt want to do the right thing 2. Proceed and make sure the child is taken care of and not wait on hopes he’s coming back !! 3. Military has these rules & policies in place. I would contact the your local social services & go on line seek out base legal on where to file, follow up, filing paperwork. They will garnish his wages for his obligations & he will have military health care insurance. The child may be entitled to portion of a GI bill entitlement for college later on
I think if he doesn’t want to be apart of the child, thats fine. But yes he should still help support HIS child. Go get child support and raise the baby on your own. Dont force a relationship unless they want one.
Just keep a small book with the fathers name, birth date, occupation and some pictures. Include his parents names and any siblings, pictures if any. Make note if any known medical issues and then bring your child up knowing you loved them from the moment they came to be. When they are older and ask, give them the little book
Simple keep the baby that you want and don’t go after him for anything. If women wanna continue with a pregnancy the male has made clear he doesn’t want then she needs to sign a form saying he won’t have any parental responsibilities.
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Has this become a therapy session I do not like this
I would pursue child support. He said he would support you, now make him keep his word!!
He’s made it clear he doesn’t want this child, so why involve him? Are the few $$ of child support you would receive worth sending a baby to a parent that doesn’t want them??!! You want things 100% you red way but it won’t happen like that.
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Once that child is born he will definitely be on the hook for child support. Don’t sign anything by him or by his lawyer. Make sure you keep up with his addresses so you can file for support after the baby is born. You put it out there to the grandparents and they will “pray” for but that’s it. Ask them if they can pray for you to win the lottery so you can raise your children with financial support
They don’t want it , done
Don’t put him on the birth certificate
Only reason why he would get in trouble is if he is married. Go for whatever you can. Sound like he just doesn’t want to be responsible.
However, there is a a lot that comes with seeking support. He will have rights. If he is doing this now, I would just take my pregnant self and cut off contact. Save yourself the headache. Being a single parent is hard, but it’s way better than teaching your child all the wrongs to look for in finding a mate.
As for support, they look at both instances. Finances, etc. In most states, it’s the father’s responsibility to provide insurance. If he refuses, the state will go after him.
I’m sick and tired of men thinking it’s soley the woman’s responsibility. Cuz things do happen, and birth control and condoms don’t always work. I’m proof of that.
It’s pretty simple. If he doesn’t want to be involved, have him sign his rights away immediately and get a legal child support order in place. You know he is not interested, you should be ready for the full responsibility by yourself.
If you need the $$, put him on the birth cerrtificate. If not, don’t.
Take his ass to court and seek child support.
Wash your hands of him children don’t need parents who don’t want them
Bullet dodged. She was up front about her unwavering support for her son. Believe her and him.
I wouldn’t pursue anything further than child support if that’s what you desire.
get that child support!
You are 9/40 gestation and already on his mother’s back, you sound like a bunny boiler to be honest. Leave him and his family alone and live your best life!!!
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Makes me wonder if he’s not secretly married.
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Dont let him use his military status to scare you into signing anything.
You don’t appear to be very good at birth control. Once you’re decided you don’t want to have more, might I suggest a tubal ligation……
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Seek child support. If you truly don’t need the money, put it aside in an account for your child.
Go after him he should be made to take responsibility in the future please don’t Believe anymore bullshit stories I don’t care how much you love the person men lie. For what they want and I don’t care if you believe that or not it’s the truth
If you have the child why would you pay child support.
Have him on child support AND have him sign his rights away
Your body, your choice. He played, he pays.
Girl you better get that military CS especially if your gonna keep it and he’s not gonna help! Don’t take all the responsibility he can at least assist financially
He’s going to get chewed out by his superiors, but that is the extent of “get in trouble”.
Definitely go for child support. The military has great benefits that you can get for your child.
Yup, hit him with child support…
Get child support established and move on with your life
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