My son is 7 and his bio dad & I have been divorced since he was 2. He went to his dads every weekend or at least every other weekend ever since then. Well recently, last fall, he decided to take off to Florida with his new girlfriend. He’d call our son maybe once every two weeks for only about 5 minutes on the phone… well now it’s gotten to the point that my son is acting out HORRIBLY in school and we’ve discovered it’s because he’s angry with his dad (he hasn’t seen or spoken to him since January now). I’m wondering if anyone could give me some advice on how I can obtain full custody? I asked if he wanted to sign his rights over but he doesn’t want that, for whatever reason. He doesn’t make any effort to talk to or see him and doesn’t pay his child support. Is there a way I can do this without having to pay $2000+ for a family court lawyer??? To add: I feel it would be better for him to sign his rights over because he obviously doesn’t care about him enough to even make a simple phone call to talk to him. Plus IF he were to reach out right now, he’d give him empty promises of coming to see him like he’s done before and I’d rather my son forget he exists rather than continue for him to have false hope that his dad is coming back and causing him to act out in school…
Tell him you are filing for back child support unless he signs .
Him signing his rights over isn’t going to help your son in not acting out. If you must then take him to court but make sure your son is getting actual help.
Unless they are terminated by court or he signs off your unfortunately out of luck
He will never forget he exist. He is 7 and has already had a relationship with him 
that is a very hard situation for him. As for how to go about it. If he isn’t willing to make an arrangement and agree on it I’m pretty sure you will have to get a lawyer but i am not 100% sure on that! Ik in NM if you don’t agree it has to go to court.
He has to agree and sign it over, if not you guys will have to go in front of a judge. But you have to go to court for it. I did that with my son.
I dont have advice on full custody, but I would suggest getting your son into therapy if he isn’t already. His pediatrician can probably refer you to a therapist in his age group. Even if his dad never speaks or shows up for him again, your son will know and feel it. Now while those feelings are developing is when he needs to have a third party to talk to so he knows its not him. He did nothing wrong and he needs to know how to process his feelings. Someone outside the situation can help him with that.
Not sure where you are but I know in Ohio, at least, he cannot sign his rights over unless there is someone else to sign them over to. (As in you having a spouse will to adopt your son)
Unfortunately he can’t be forced to hand over his rights.as long as he has some or makes attempts to talk to the kid. If you deny it you could be in trouble. I’d get him into therapy. My son started acting out at 10 bur I never said he couldn’t talk to his dad. My son is 28 now and has maybe seen his dad 40 times his whole life.
Taking him back to court could turn against you. The judge might order he go back & forth from you to Florida especially if he decides to fight you in court
If he doesn’t speak or see your son for some long, it’s considered abandonment and you have grounds to terminate his rights. You need to look at the abandonment law in your state.
In some states your husband now has to be willing to adopt if bio dad is willing to give up all rights … if he is not willing to give up rights there is nothing you can do … to obtain full custody I’m assuming you would have to prove he has been doing nothing .
Is he allowed to move out of state having joint custody? I know in Florida when it comes to spilt custody most of the time you can’t move within a certain distance of each other. 
That sucks. Sending endless good vibes to your son and you, totally unfair. Maybe trying having him talk to a guidance counselor about his feelings? 
Go see an attorney. It’s the only way you can get the right answers to your questions.
In my state, a noncustodial parent who doesn’t contact or pay child support for at least a year can have their rights terminated by the court for abandonment. Maybe stop contacting him at all and wait it out, then file paperwork. I’d get an attorney, though, no doubt. It’s extremely expensive, but custody battles are no joke. I wouldn’t want to do it alone.
You need to file abandonment charges if he hasn’t contacted you or your child and then go from there . I do feel like getting your child into therapy would be beneficial in helping him process what is happening
Him singing is rights over is not going to help your son. Get your son a mentor or counseling. Your upset I understand but none of that will help your son. He has no understanding of what that means. All you can do is love on him and try to get help for his feelings.
You don’t have enough to win. Sorry.
What does him signing over his rights have to do with your son acting out? You think he is going to sign over rights and your son will magically start behaving? Maybe speak with the father about the issues that are happening and stress that he needs to do more face time etc with him.
Contact the Department of Human Services. They will direct you. They usually go after the Father for CS.
my daughter’s dad did the same thing and I took my daughter and went and got her father but to tell you the truth he’s going to leave you anyway based off of my first marriage don’t waste anymore of your time keep your son and disown his dad.
Your son needs therapy. It will help with his acting out. Best wishes. 
You don’t need a lawyer .you can do it on your own he basically abandoned your son so prove it and good luck! You got this .counseling will help your boy .
If you can’t afford the cost check with legal aid. Most will guide you at no cost.
You can get papers at court house, fill out and file yourself asking for full custody. Obviously get your son set up with counseling.
I would at least have consultation with attorney, they can also direct you in doing it yourself.
After 6 months of no contact it is abandonment and you can strip his parental rights (in NY anyways). But he is angry he doesn’t see his father so O really don’t see how terminating his rights will help your child.
Hear me out… terminating his rights will not do a thing at all to help your son feel better about not seeing him.
Stop contacting him AT ALL. you can’t terminate until you haven’t heard from him at all-no money sent, no texts, no calls, nothing- for at least 1 consistent year, then you can file to terminate. Depending on the state/country, you can’t terminate without someone willing to adopt your child.
I don’t think it’s in the best interest of anyone to ask a father to relinquish their rights to their child.
What would happen to your son if something if happened to you? Would you prefer he ended up an as orphan, vs being with his father?
He’s made bad choices recently, but I don’t think this means all opportunity as a father is lost. Especially since you’re making it clear from your post that your child has a deep connection with his father.
Focus on getting them together- not completely tearing them apart !
Ive raised my sons in this scenario. Go the legal route. The judge in my case def thought that was best for the kids. The court wants them safe. The court will still collect CS whether he has rights or not
Your son won’t forget he exists.
You don’t need to pay money to do that. Just keep it the way it is because he’s in Florida and it doesn’t matter. You need to focus on getting that child support.
First and For-most, you need to file for child support and go after his ass. Second maybe talk to the father about the issues he’s having. Third you need to take your son to counseling, it would help a lot
What state are you in? I’m a legal document preparer. If you want to PM me for more details.
You probably won’t be able to do this without a lawyer. My friend went through the same thing and he was willing to sign his rights and she still needed a lawyer. You also need someone to adopt the child, take over the rights. I would put your son into therapy, if you don’t want to take his rights or can’t, try changing your parenting plan. I have sole decision making for my son, my ex only sees him between 8-6pm Saturday and Sunday no overnights and has to be at my house. Been almost 3 years now since he’s seen him.
Most courts have self help centers so you can file on your own and go pro se but also find out about pro Bono lawyers they work for either free or reduced payment. Let the courts handle child support, the child support enforcement will go after him. Get your son therapy for his acting out, this will allow him to process the situation but also help him set boundaries with his dad and a safe place for him to talk.
Looks like he picked his gf over his child.
Go to the court house and file and put him in therapy and he’ll lose all rights
Make the dad catch up his child support and take your kid to see a counselor. Either way your son should see a professional about his anger issues.
Go to your family court & file a petition. They’ll walk you through it. Plan on a few hours. When I did it they had me running all over making copies & stuff plus there’s a lot of waiting. Ask for court fee waiver. If you qualify you won’t pay the court fees. There are other fees along the way. You’ll have to serve him papers. You mail them certified to the last known address. If you don’t know his address tell them that. Since there’s a child support order they may have an address on file. If not I believe they post it in the newspaper.
None of that will help your son tho, a piece of paper doent take away the hurt of being “abandoned” by a parent
Just go file for custody. Say the dad has abandoned the son and isn’t in the state anymore. Warning though, Florida is really good with family court. But stop speaking to him about it. And find a therapist for your son. Do that first.
He has to be gone longer than 3 months for you to do abandonment against him. Also if you think terminating his rights will be in the best interest of your child you’re wrong. You need to get your child into therapy.
Some states will not allow a father to sign off unless if you’re married and the husband is willing to adopt. Unfortunately or go to court to have lose his visits. And also have it court ordered on why he’s not paying child support
What does obtaining for custody have to do with anything?? Smh
I completely understand I being hurt or mad for u son but erasing his dad because he hasn’t made contact in two months 
it’s just really weird that he was consistently in his life for five years and then what all of a sudden he just ups and moves? Did he plan it out was it for work? I mean you made it sound like he’s some type of drug attic that just takes off and disappears with random women. If that’s the case shit you shouldn’t even had them around your son. 
Your son will NEVER forget he exists. Whatever you do won’t change what he feels in his heart. Your boy needs therapy to overcome what he is feeling. Best of luck to your boy!
You can’t make him sign his rights over , but him just up and leaving could be enough for you to get full custody. Unfortunately the only way to do this is to go through the court
All I’m getting from this is I, I, I, I, and I.
It isn’t about you. I understand your frustration and even heartbreak for your child, but the only thing you should invest in is therapy for him and yourself. Allow him a safe place to be able to talk to you about his feelings without bias or negative comments about his father. Your feelings should never be projected on to him and I’m not saying that they are. As he gets older he will be able to process his feelings. He’s young and doesn’t know what to do with how he is feeling. My son was in a somewhat similar situation and with therapy and time, he grew to accept this unfortunate reality. I know it does bother him sometimes deep down and it will surface a little, but he knows he can talk to me, even at 14, without me chiming in I how I feel. I had both of my parents. They’re still married now. I will never know how he truly feels inside and my heart breaks for him. All I can do is be an ear, an open place for him to vent, talk, scream, and/or cry.
Full custody doesn’t take away the dads rights of visitation and contact. Your son needs counseling to deal with his emotions. You need to tell the ex how he is treating your son is hurting him. Discuss what is going on. Whether or not dad changes his ways is up to him. If you have a court order go back to court as dad has breached the order.
Sound like you should be more worried about a therapist rather then custody if he left to Florida and he isint calling let him be a shit dad and just worry about your son for now
Honestly it’s coming off like you are jealous he has a new woman in his life. To just terminate his rights like that because he’s starting a new life is extreme. Get your son in therapy and give the dad a chance to work things out with his son.
How about go to counseling and try to repair the relationship 
that’s in the best interest of your son.
I’d get your child councilling. Just concentrate on that. A court likely would try give visitation I’d just leave it as it is with no contact.
Sounds like you’re wanting to punish your ex rather than focus on helping your son. A piece of paper is only going to help you feel vindicated, your son will still be hurting. Focus on him and don’t worry about a Court order that will only A) make you feel better and B) be used by your ex at a later date as his excuse why he didn’t have a relationship with his Son.
Unfortunately that won’t help the damage done and won’t make your son feel better … he won’t feel better knowing now he REALLY won’t see him … at this point he’s probably holding some kinda hope which also upsets him because he’s being disappointed everyday that his dad doesn’t come thru for em . I would definitely consider some kind of therapist for him , he needs Someone to talk to and help him work thru his feelings and understand them better . I’m so sorry he’s done this to you both … and shame on his girlfriend for condoning that shit . Any women who stays with a deadbeat, is shittier than the deadbeat himself in my opinion .
Before making a rash decision I would attempt to make an effort and meet up with both of them to try and understand what is happening. I don’t want to be that person but if you’re going to successfully coparent you both need to feel comfortable confiding in one another to develop an understanding for the sake of any children who are involved. Think about what you’re doing. He’s already gotten to know his father. Do you really just want to traumatize him and take it all away from him without even being able to explain why? He will grow up and struggle with that all of his life. That is NOT in his best interest.
If your ex gives up his rights he is still legally obligated to pay support
By default, you have full custody. As for collecting child support, you can put him on child support so that the state takes it out of his paycheck automatically.
Whether or not you have full custody won’t change his outbursts, though I understand that you’re trying to protect him down the road. Right now your son needs therapy. He feels abandoned and when kids that age experience abandonment, they act out because they lack the life experience to process their emotions.
Get a lawyer n just get full sole custody and nail him for child support.
It’s gonna cost money. There is no way to do it without lawyers and court dates. Goodluck
I recommend to have a couple consults with attorneys to get an idea if it has a chance of getting ordered. I went for full custody because of different reasons but despite having solid proof (medical records, police reports, etc), it was easier for me to be ordered full legal custody than to get supervised visits ordered for my DB. As for his rights, it depends on the state. In Arizona you don’t need to be married and have someone willing to adopt to sever rights. But, in AZ there has to be absolutely no contact, nothing received for the child, for six months for it to classify as abandonment. My daughter asked for my husband to adopt her so we went through the process since my ex abandoned her. She still loves my ex despite his bad choices and I offered to help her find him when she’s 18.
Maybe speak to your ex via written communication and see if he can agree to not make promises he can’t keep. If you get your child into therapy, make sure you put your ex as able to receive those records if he wants to request them. It’s a tough situation and all you can do is try to help your child cope with his feelings and fight for him when it’s necessary.
Go get child support he will sign over his rights real quick
Seek therapy not full custody… The only issue that gets resolved by seeking full custody is how you feel. Your son will still be heartbroken and acting out.
From personal experience your best bet is not cutting off communication because it’s going to hurt him more. I know it sucks but children need their fathers regardless how shitty they are. Start taking him to therapy, it really helps. I’ve personally learned a lot on how to help my daughter cope. It’s hard situation to be in.
You can take him to court for child support but if you get full custody he doesn’t have to pay
First off your son isn’t going to forget he exists. That’s his father. He is mad because he doesn’t see him Cutting his father off completely isn’t necessarily right to do. You’re trying to cut him off cause it’s been only two months? He lives in another state. Depending on the state you live in abandonment charges take much much longer than that.
I think you and your son need therapy. You don’t get to just take rights away from your ex. That would have a more lasting and terrible impact than him only seeing his dad every so often.
I can empathize that the situation sucks for you and your son, however putting all blame on your ex for all issues your son has isn’t right either. You have him 100% of the time, you have to take responsibility for how he’s being raised and how he’s acting, too. Therapy therapy therapy. It will go a long way and be what helps him in the long run.
Maybe therapy will help him and how to handle it all but let him know your there for him and he can talk to about it and you ain’t going no where always be there for him
Before you do anything else, get your kid counseling. The legalities of your custody situation are irrelevant.
Go to the courthouse, or call to make an appointment with THE FAMILY COURT FACILITATER. They will help you for free.
Sounds like you want revenge or to be spiteful instead of a actual solution. Try counseling for your son, have a conversation with dad and your son as well there are many ways to go about this. If he’s not there what’s full custody going to solve? Wouldn’t hurt your son more to know his dad signed his rights away or that his mom asked him to?
You’ll have to pay for a lawyer
Full custody? Good grief. The child needs his dad. Smh …
Ask the school to appoint a behavioral coach. I can relate.
Your son will never forget his dad exists. My boys had a great step dad but still felt deserted by their bio dad. It’s something they didn’t work through until their teens even though my husband and I filled them with love and attention.
Unfortunately, biological parents have a low percentage of losing custody unless they sign over rights. My grandson was 9 days old when his bio gave him a second degree burn and broke both his femurs. He got 6 months in jail with work release because the county doesn’t want to pay welfare. Even if they don’t do what the court orders they still have rights. The only way we can terminate the bios rights is if he signs him over or an act of God. You can only pray for karma. Get your kid involved in organizations with group participation. Sports or Boy Scouts is a suggestion. Moms take the kids and get to spend some time. The males that run the organizations will be the males he needs in his life. Talk to a coach or scout master. Other dad’s can be helpful as well. Keep him from sitting at home gaming and thinking of his loss
I think you’re better off leaving it be so your son doesn’t blame you. Get him into therapy though so he knows it’s not his fault his dad is crap
I would put your son in programs and therapy. Like a big brothers program. And some therapy to learn how to cope and express his feelings in a positive manner and that there’s nothing wrong with being angry. I wouldn’t be looking into full custody unless you need his approval to do all these things. I doubt he’s going to lose any of his rights over this. And he doesnr want to sign his rights over. Just support your son. Don’t make it worse by proving to him you might be the reason his father left him.
If there isn’t child custody order in place and father live out of state he moved for work he can’t say u stop him so it’s he said she said case he could still get visit more likely u will will get primary custody but that isn’t same as full solo legal custody , so I wouldn’t go In saying I want his dad out his life like it sound like u saying let me give u some advice my stepson mom was in and out for 11 yrs did same shit promise come or call but didn’t and lie told him it r fault but he knew truth , now 2 yrs after she been bk full time they have good relationship and he always stated he wanted relationship w her so just bc u want him out doesn’t mean ur kid do if he acting out bc he mad at his dad then he still care and want his dad that might never go way , so give him visit summer time he got do pick up and drop off and have everything for child , let it be he dont come u can let child know u didn’t stop him he chose to not come even know he had right to
Sorry, it’s not right. You can’t ask your child to forget his dad. That’s impossible and cruel. Instead, talk to him, be patient, and make him understand that some people including Dads aren’t perfect. What he does is his, what your son does is his. Teach him self love, self respect, be kind/nice to himself, responsibility; whatever you do/say, it’s a reflection of you.
God to court it is called abandonment
The money an attorney is going to cost you should be spent on a good child therapist. Your pediatrician or local children’s hospital can refer you one.
just because you go to court does not mean he will not be allowed to see him… try therapy first and don’t bad mouth his father your son will end up blambing you in the end even if his Dad does not pay C.S. does not to the law make him bad just saying
Severing his rights would be just as bad as what’s going on now? Do you really think him knowing that his dad didn’t want him anymore permanently so he signed his rights over is going to be any better? Put the child in counseling. Keep communication going with the dad. Even if his dad doesn’t respond or respond as much as he should. Maybe talk to him yourself about what your son is going through. And don’t go bringing up the new girlfriend?
I’ve been through this almost exact same thing… my advice is to just leave it for now. When your son gets older, he’ll realize on his own who the bad guy is here. I would suggest some counseling in the meantime though…that’s a tough thing to go through especially at that age
Ochenta Hill what’s funny?
You’re not going to get full custody. It’s really sad that you would try to push his father to sign over his rights. Put your son in therapy.
Why is it ok for men to F off their kids and responsibilities and women continue to make excuses for them. It’s gross
You can have his wages garnished for child support. Plus my ex wouldn’t sign over his rights. Never saw my daughter, but he still had to pay. Your son will go through this, it is normal. He will get better. Don’t even tell your son what you are trying to do. Leave it be. Why do you even think taking his rights away, is going to benefit your son?
Just go to your family court & file. Ask for a court fee waiver. You’ll have other fees. You will have to serve him. Send the forms to the last address you know of him. If you don’t know an address tell them. They may have 1 of file. They may not. If not I believe they post it in the news paper.
Be aware though it can open a can of worms you don’t want to deal with. He will likely show up crying that you have kept your son from him. He’ll claim you’re jealous of his current girlfriend & is keeping your son from him as revenge. They all use the same playbook. Other woman & judges go for it. You may end up not getting sole custody but sharing custody. Do you want your son traveling between states every vacation? Switching schools every other year?
Forgetting a bio parent exists is unrealistic. I have 2 teens who haven’t had a relationship with their bio dad since they were toddlers. Since then they’ve seen him a handful of times, and we’re adopted by my husband in 2019… they still remember their bio dad. We still talk about him occasionally.
Full custody is not a guarantee that the father won’t pop back on the child’s life either. With full custody there are still visitation rights which are determined by your state and a judge. You’d need to go to the courthouse and file to modify the custody agreement. You shouldn’t need a lawyer.
If you ever desire to have the children adopted by a step parent, or have the fathers rights revoked, you may need a lawyer. The laws on that vary heavily state to state. However, consulations are often free.
I suggest counseling for your son. My son went through the same ordeal. It affected him more than he’ll ever admit. Being abandoned at a young age is traumatic and trauma literally changes the way a brain develops. Find a good counselor.
Okay so in Florida there are two things: custody and time sharing. Custody only pertains to who can make decisions for the child regarding school, medications, decisions in the hospital- you would have to prove him to be severely unfit for Florida to grant this and I don’t think this is what you really want or care to change.
Time sharing is the schedule the court has set up for you. It looks like he already left. There’s no way to take away all of dad’s rights. The only thing you can do here is ask for a modified time sharing plan which would increase his child support payments and then that might motivate him to come back and see his son more. You’d have to prove and document that he left. This will cost money. I would honestly leave it how it is and have your child start seeing a child psychologist so they can give your child the tools he needs to appropriately act on whatever he is going through.
In my state a father can not sign off right unless the mother is married and the new husband is willing to adopt. I would try counseling first…
Pretty sure after 6 months most states allow u to file for abandonment if there has been absolutely 0 contact. I’d try to make it that 6 months or whatever ur state time frame is so I have ever leg to stand on in the court room
Your son is 7, he’s not forgetting this man now
You can go to your local family court to file for full custody. I wouldn’t worry about terminating his parental rights. That would be EXTREMELY difficult to do. You should also look into counseling for your son. That will help your son process his feelings and it may help with your custody case. Good luck.
The kid is 7. He will never forget his dad. Should have been cut off by age 2 if that was goal. Now…therapy and keeping trying to get the dad to step up is all can do.
Are you sure this is about your Son??You take him away from his father and he will resent you later.
Your son will always have hope his dad will come back…that’s not going anywhere
Your son needs counseling and an outlet for his anger that isn’t school
Well honey, I really hate to break it to you but isolating from his dad, regardless of how you feel about it, will absolutely make him resent you more and more the older he gets, trust me on this please! And you will absolutely need to hire an attorney and be prepared for it to drag out and get ugly. And honestly, it’s really hard to force a parent to sign over rights, and even when/if they do, it could still be YEARS, if ever, that it actually goes through. So essentially, it really doesn’t change much. Plus, it’ll likely never happen if his dad has zero intentions on doing this. Honestly, going through all of that, paying TENS of thousands of dollars for an attorney that’ll probably tell you exactly what I just did, not to mention everything that comes with it–because it’s a LOT, and your son isn’t just going to “forget he exists”… your best bet is to talk with the dad, explain the situation, and unfortunately you’re just going to have to deal with it, as shitty as it may be. But it’s WAY too late to even be considering this, in my opinion (and I’m not just pulling all of this out of thin air, I’m trying to save you time, money, and misery because I’ve seen the destruction it causes, and gone through something similar myself.)