We put our son on 30 mg CBD at night got rid of all the other meds so no highs and lows then changed from taking things away for bad behavior to earning things with good behavior. We just say well next time if you want xyz you’ll do this instead of what you did do. Or give them something to earn and stick to your word.
She may need to be reevaluated. Med adjustment or changed. Also see if there’s other things besides ADHD. My grandson is 9 but at that age was acting the same way and also was diagnosed with ODD. Does she sleep all night ?
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How old is she? You can’t tell them what to do. You train them. Positive reinforcement. If she wants or needs anything then she must perform a task otherwise she gets nothing. She needs to use her words to get anything. Don’t hand these kids anything. Every need or want is an opportunity to get the good behavior that you desire
ADHD makes a person’s mind work faster than normal. They can’t concentrate on one thing for long periods and have to be physically active. It does not make kids not mind their parents, but frustration does. Don’t try to curb her activity. That will frustrate her. Try to guide it toward something interesting and constructive.
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Some children respond better to no sugar but with both my husband with adult ADHD and my daughter with ADHD, the sugar counteracts the ADHD symptoms and slows them down to focus better instead of making the ADHD symptoms worse.
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Correct diet is essential to helping children control their symptoms. It works.
Get her a bubble pop fidget or a spinner . She can do that and maybe be able to sit still except for that.
Go back to doctor or go to different doctor for his evaluation. Do not change medication prior to any new evaluation.
Go back to dr who prescribed the medication… soon.
Vitamins and good nutrition is what you need. Maybe take her to a naturpath doctor will help her. It is amazing what good vitamins and healthy food along with love can do for them.
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Listen to her. Love her. Be patient with her.
Talk to doctor there are other meds or she may need a stronger dose
Consult her Dr then meds need to be adjusted
Have to know triggers . Sleep important nutrition
she is seeking attention,make it positive
It’s in my family - I have it .
To all of these people saying beat her ass … I’m a 31 year old with ADHD I wasn’t medicated. One parent was supportive and learned to understand me and the other one beat my ass … Guess which hasn’t been in my life since I was 18.
Support and nurture try and understand you will seriously help in the longer term … I’m a fully functional adult that moved countries from UK to Spain have my own house and work. So please be supportive not beat her ass. We have no attention span beating them will not change that x
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Is she eating organic
Get the book the Adhd diet
My best advice is get a jar and some marbles. If she is good put a marble in the jar and if she is bad take a marble out. If she gets the marbles all in the jar she gets to pick the reward.
hv you read gary chapman’s the 5 love languages? do you know what her love language is? apparently parents should love their kids first n foremost before making rules n attempting to dicipline them.
No sugar, no red dye. No sugary drinks. Nothing that will add to the euphoria of the drugs. The adhd drugs speed up the brain to counteract the chemical imbalance. It’s a tight rope to the finish with the drugs and you add garbage to it and she is on a high instead of a steady. Ask the doctor for a diet.
Look into parasites cleans!
My son had ADD, improved with medication. At 15 he quit taking it and backslid.
ADHD is the new term for BRAT, beat that ass and show them who’s boss
In that house.
The kid knows they can get away with murder always throwing fits and keeping the family in turmoil.
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Coffee worked for mine…
Food coloring is a no no!
She needs constant stimulation, whether constructive, or down time. However don’t punish her! She can’t help it, as parents you have to show the example. Show her that she can use her energy is lots of ways!
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I have 3 grandchildren that are ADHD. It’s going to be hard but it can be done. It’s not the ADHD that makes her do the things she does. It might be more than attention deficit. She could be ODD. She needs to be tested for that. It’s called Oppositional Defiant Disorder. That makes them disobey. If you say black She will say white even if it is black. You say yes she will say no. No matter what. That takes a special.way to treat them. She might have bi polar Disorder. My grandson has all 3 and some days it can be hell. If he gets mad at someone I am the target, no matter what. It gets really bad in the fall when it gets dark earlier. The last time he blew a fuse he tried to choke me to death. His mom and siblings live with me so I walk on egg shells sometimes. He needs to be seen by a psychologist and go from there
.
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Does she have an outlet? Like reading, crafts, art. I have had it all my life along with an attitude problem. Having dogs and creative outlets have helped me alot. I sucked at sports so that wasn’t a choice. As an adult I love reading and crafts.
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You all need to sit down with her teachers and principal and come up with a behavior plan…that everyone follows. At school and at home. EVERYONE. All the time. She needs to hit the same limits for the same behaviors…every single time. She will learn and so will all of you. Consistency, consistency, consistency.
Seriously. ADHD isn’t the problem it’s lack of consistency. As a person who has adhd, and divorces parents, I am 100% certain this is the issue.
You guys aren’t on the same page when it comes to raising kids and that’s why she isn’t listening. You’re confusing the shit out of her with wishy washy methods of punishment. Agree on how to handle situations and stick to it. All of you.
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Some good books available. We have to handle things differently ask a good therapist on help with this that specialized in ADHD .
Age? Any “programs” she’s enrolled in through school?
Go find your resources. There must be some attached to the school. The doctor will help I am sure.
Angie Sabatine-Wissinger
Don’t give in. No matter what … Don’t give in.
Kate-Lyne Jaimee Walton read these comments
Camillejacob Suratos
I’ve read all of the above posts and they are BS. Beat that Ass when she acts out.
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Rewards for good behavior
I would talk with her doctor. Maybe an increase in mgs or try a different medication. Just please don’t give up. I’m sure she is not ignoring you on purpose. She just has so many sensory activities getting her attention at one time that she can’t concentrate. 
I have a daughter with ADHD. It’s still a huge adjustment for me. She was diagnosed at age 7 via the school doctor but I noticed it when she was doing grade R. If I knew then what I know now then I would’ve pushed the school for a check that time already but God has his way to work things through. She’s 11 now ND she knows that she has to take her medication but it’s a whole different world when it come to taking medication. I’m a single mom ND to change her diet ND foodstuff is very difficult for me. To keep my daughter occupied us hardwork coz she’s more energetic than any of my other kids ND their ages range from 22,16,7 boys. Doing homework at home to is also a struggle as I have to spend more time with.y daughter than spending homework time with my 7yr old son in grade 1. To get her for a second opinion at any other doctors that deals with kids with ADHD is a no as they’re too expensive. If our South African government has more resources ND schools that can deal with ADHD then our ADHD kids won’t struggle in school than what they’re struggling in a mainstream school. If ADHD get recognised as a disability then our schools wouldn’t be so overcrowded as many schools have kids with learning disabilities. Sorry for the long post but I just has to add.
Routines are key. And also a chart with star stickers. It’s sounds dumb but she gets a star for picking up her toy or doing something good after 10 stars she gets a prize but it works both ways if she doesnt listen take a star away. She will strive to meet the 10 stars. The prize can be a dollar store item or a special treat. The reward system is helpful. I have one friend who has her son on meds and removed everything from his diet that has red dye and as much sugar as she could it helped him and noe he listens and is foing great in school. I wish you the best of luck
No red die . makes them hyper even more. My son is 10 . was diagnosed at 5. Changed schools he is now in behavior class and he loves it. I dont punish him as most days now are great. However explain to the dr. They may have her on the wrong meds. I had to go to concerta a higher dose but he acts normal still funky and acts totally normal.
I’m ADHD and I’m 36yr and I still feel it sometimes. All this talk about doctors is bull. When I would speak to doctors, medication was kinda pushed on me and I felt like a zombie on my meds, totally checked out. Best thing is to find what your child is most interested in and find an outlet for the child to distract and burn energy cause we’re full of it. Keep it interesting, lots of things going on cause ADHD love to multi task or more tasks then one. Don’t let your child be a zombie on meds. It’s not fun trust me.
Don’t continue with vaccinations. 
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Focusing on negative behavior only gets you negative behaviors …try praising and giving attention to good and favorable behaviors, ignore the bad as much as possible. She will love the attention she gets and want to do it more. Start by Celebrating the small victories. Even if all she does that day if brush her teeth when told, praise her. Thank her. Tell her how much listening to that 2 small thing helped you… She will want to please you more
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My brother had adhd and the medication made him worse 10x. Someone told her to take him off of it and try giving him some coffee and surprisingly it calmed him down
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No surgery foods. It will make her more hyper. Put on a schedule to keep her activities that allow her to use us energy…walks, kiddie softball, basketball, swimming and playground time. She needs to play. No sugar and make sure she eats healthy…if not than give her pediasure has vitamins and minerals.
Lots of outside time helps these kids have lots of energy and get bored easily needs to be doing 2 things at once
A routine and different med combo
If you get a chance watch the video called " The F.A.T City …it will give you a chance to experience what a person with ADHD anxiety etc hears the world!
The F.A.T. City Workshop!!!
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Age? Is this a growing up behavior or a personal “You’re not my parent” type of thing with a “I hate you” because of the relationship? Maybe family therapy to hash stuff out? If time out doesn’t work then take stuff away. Necessity vs privilege.
Read the book about ADHD, first you have to understand them, in order to learn how to redirect them through positivity…then go as a family to therapy, to learn coping mechanisms. In school make sure she is in IEP. If you believe medicine is not helping her, her dosage or even another might have to be prescribed,make sure her doctor specializes in ADHD.
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Get her something to control the activity shes doing. A fidget spinner and something that requires her fingers and mind to not stop working, it’ll help her focus more. As far as the not listening goes I’m not sure how old she is but if shes old enough for sentences do them. It will not only keep her hands and mind busy but she’ll understand that if she doesnt listen then there are consequences. If that doesnt help try a pedestrian they might be able to give you some resources to help you.
My aunt swears coffee is really good for helping with ADHD. She said it would calm her son down so much better than the meds the doctor prescribed.
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Try play therapy or or just counciling in general so maybe they can be studied to find the method that works to get through to them
Don’t forget that her brain is wired differently than yours, you won’t think the same way she does, so her reason may make perfect sense to her but you’ll have no clue why she did what she did. & patience is key.
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Please read the book driven to distraction. As an adult with ADHD it opened my eyes with my kids(also adhd). It will help with your understanding which will alter the way you want to parent an adhd child.
My son also has ADHD and he needs a set routine. Children have to know.whats coming next especially kids with ADHD. Have a schedule taped on the wall. This is.breakfast time, this is.time to wash.up and brush.teeth. this is outside time. This is.creative play time etc… also they need clean and tidy living space. Clutter can cause more chaos and its harder for them.to concentrate. A decent diet and a good night rest helps as well. It can be really overwhelming for them too. Less screen time more creative play.
Get her into sports, so she can put her energy into something
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My daughter also takes meds for ADHD. Honestly I felt the meds weren’t helping. Got her into a facility where she stayed 2 weeks. They changed her meds and gave her tools to help when she loses focus.
I was against meds until we found the one that worked for her and I’m so grateful
So my son has severe adhd. He is very involved in his iep with school (what works what doesn’t) so we’ve found that a set schedule is a MUST, if there is any slight change in the schedule we have to let him know ahead of time so he can process it. We give many choices as well, and lots of compromise. So if he’s doing something and we need to be doing something else and he doesn’t want to stop, we say, okay I’m going to give you 5 more min to finish up bc we really need to do x
My son might have it also. It runs in his dad side of the family also on my side. I understand how exactly how you both feel . Talk to her dr and see what other stuff you can do to calm her down .
First of all, I think the age of the child is important. Second of all, is the child able to focus and just acts out or does it seem like the meds don’t help with anything? Because if they don’t seem to do anything then you probably need to try something else. So many kids who have ADHD also struggle with ODD. I would also consider asking the child’s Dr about that as well
Here’s the thing girls with adha need constant attention. Electronics and devices just distract for the meantime. A routine and a constant reward system. Whether it be screen time or a treat or a beach day. R&R is what my daughter and myself call it routine and rewards! It works for us and no meds 
She will grow out of it. School teachers told my parents my brother needed meds. My parents refused my brother was a trouble maker always with horrible grades. He outgrew it. Today he is an engineer. It will get better, but maybe even worse before it does. Just be there for your child. Support them. Listen to them. And try your best. One day things will be ok.
What does she do exactly? More context is needed
My mom has it I have it my son has it. What I have found with me as I drink Pepsi what I have found with my son when he was younger and in school I would send him to school with a soda and when he started to not listen and all that other stuff the teachers just told them to go get a soda and drink it and then he calmed right down. No medication needed.
I went through this with my son. Best advice keep her busy. Sports , community activities , anything to busy her mind . Oh and kids with ADHD do well with a schedule , my son did at least.
You really have to come down to her level and you have to keep doing it may seem as it takes forever but the eye contact will help it just takes away
1 thing at a time. I like the suggestions for therapy, for the family not just the child. I’ve also found that directions need to be short, one thing at a time… Giving multiple steps will result in failure
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So for me , what I do is , positive reinforcement, if he is sitting quietly I walk up to him call his name wait for him to look at me , then say, you are doing great right now at being quite . And the smile that comes across his face is priceless . We have a set schedule and routine. It is posted on the wall with words and pictures so he knows what comes next . When I ask him to do something I have to walk over to him tap him on the shoulder and say can I have your attention. When he looks at me I smile and say hi I love you thank you for looking at me . Before we can go back to what you are doing I need your help to …… put the clothes away . He jumps up we do it together. I say that was a big help for mom thank you you are a good boy . Then he goes back to what he is doing .
It is very different then how I was raised and very differently then how I am raising my other son. But the reward is no meltdowns and tons of smiles .
A behavioral therapist is great to have involved. They help you as the parents to learn ways to help the child. Creating a routine that will help them develop what’s good and bad behavior. Teaching what’s good and bad behavior for their actions. I have a 12 year old and we created a chart of small chores that he can do to earn money. You just gotta be honest with the kid and tell them this behavior is unacceptable and why. Praise good behavior. Take it up a few notches making it a big deal. Taking things away for bad behavior for a few hours or day or two works. After so long it doesn’t matter if they have it or not. I don’t do long times of taking games away. Both pairs of parents have to be on the same page too.
Adult with adhd. I went years without meds because as a child I was given meds with side effects that weren’t great. I eventually learned to cope pretty well but I’m now on meds and they help. My fiance however had much more severe adhd and even with high dosage meds he can still check ot in the middle of a conversation. She may not be on the right meds for her.
Routine and praise. Let them know they’re doing a good job even if it’s for something small, it’ll make them feel good and want to do better with everything. I have 2 kids with ADHD Combined ODD I have literally been through it all. Replace words like you to we So instead of saying “you need to be better” be supportive and say “what can we do to make things better?” Key words and support can also go along way. Kids with ADHD have a race car brain with bicycle breaks so be patient. Just my advice, hope it helps someone.
Some of these comments I’ve read are crazy I have a son with adhd odd and autism it takes people to never give up. she may have odd so try reverse psychology. Also do not shout when shes in meltdowns I have found the best way is to be calm and positive attitude but if you scream and shout during meltdowns or lose patience my god this will make it 10 times worse give her quiet time to calm down otherwise to much overload she struggles every day think if you were trying and battling to be good but your head and your body are battling with eachother
Change her diet. You would be shocked 
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I have a child with severe ADHD and I have to pick and choose my battles with her. I simply ignore some of her behavior and I find that when she’s not getting the attention she’s looking for, she stops that particular bad behavior. If she’s doing something dangerous because she’s being impulsive, I intervene. Also I take her to the doctor and get her on meds, especially while she’s in school to help her to focus so she doesn’t fall behind in her class. Melatonin is good to help her sleep at night. It is very hard dealing with kids with this condition, it’s even harder for single parents like me. I take one day at a time and hope it gets better as she gets older 
Talk to the Dr about a medication change. ADHD doesn’t have a one size fits all medication. You have to be the child’s advocate. You need more than meds, counseling also helps. Be sure she has time to be outside or active in sports. Positive Reinforcement works wonders, screaming and yelling do not. I’m the mom of 2 boys with it (15 and 7) and work in social services… They do not want to be"bad" and it’s important you don’t tell them that either. They need routine also and a lot of structure
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Listen to music find some that she likes
Do some art work or drawing maybe that will help.
Speak to your step daughters primary care provider and Express the want for additional help to help your little learn coping skills.
My boy is 9, ADHD with oppositional defiance disorder and an impulsive complication- he has an outpatient therapist for regular emotion therapy, a behavioral therapist that teaches him coping skills to handle all aspects of his disorders, and we are doing this therapy called FFT- Functioning Family Therapy- these ladies come to our home and they work with the three of us together on coping skills, redirection techniques and the ability to calmly talk together. Please reach out, because the struggles have become less and less with the additional help for not just my son but for his sister and I too.
Its not about gaining control over the child or the behaviours that come with it. Its learning how to cope with them in a way that is beneficial to everyone involved.
We think my bf’s daughter will also be diagnosed with it. I guess it depends on her age. For a young child, have specific (reasonable) rules and do not bend. Let them have the tantrum. Give choices when possible and encourage them to be independent by using positive word choices. My best friends daughter is older and she doesn’t do meds- she keeps her active with activities. Last time we talked it was video games and skateboarding. Find that one thing they love to focus on and it helps. Also please let your doctor know that her current meds are not working.
Sounds like my nephew. No .after what, he doesn’t listen…he has ADHD and ODD. Maybe ur step daughter does too 🤷
My son has it and omg he was a handful. I found an outlet for him. His was drums and playdoh. I would reward the good behavior. To this day (he’s 19 now) he’s awesome at drums. His mind would go a mile a minute (so did his body and mouth). I tried him on meds when he was younger but he would have reactions to them. One made him like a zombie. Another hurt his belly (which would cause him to lash out more). Try finding an outlet. Something she loves to do. Hang in there.
Our 10 year old boy has this. We started meds last year only for academics. He also speaks to a counselor once a week. Positive reinforcement and strict structure help keep everyone’s minds focused. One or two steps or direction at a time help. After research of different types of Adhd and sypmtoms it is easier to identify actual defiant behavior compared to just a busy active brain. Additude magazine has awesome articles and hints for all situations too!
Talk to her Dr, some times it takes several diffeent before it works, also keep the routine in both places the same be consistent, if she is in school talk with the teacher, if preschool age you mignt try a class otbsee how she does with a group
Hi… you and bio should be working with PCP to come up with better services. Therapy like CBT have a huge impact in making changes. Please do not rely on medication to make her an A typical. It’s not going to work.
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She may have an audio processing disorder… My ex swore my 9 yr old had it… Put her on meds with 0 progress… Seen a different doctor and its made a world of a difference
My daughter has it it was hard when she was growing up keep her busy keep up with the timeout taken her things and pray when my baby turned 18 she stopped her meds and started using thc that helped her so much now she is 22 she is better on some day but if she takes her thc she she has great days
Redirect with the desired behavior, catch her being”good” and praise. Praise all desired behaviors, ignore the ones you can! Helps eliminate any attention seeking. Not 100% but with consistency and patience you will see positive results
Different kinds of therapy (aba ie), registering her in sports, changing her diet and maybe even her daily routine. And honestly a combination of all of those would work best.
Change up her diet my son has adhd as well and we medicated him for along time until he told me he doesnt like the way it made him feel. So I done some research and changed up his diet. Such as limited dairy and sweets and no caffeine. It worked for him, you just need to find what works for her cause as someone mentioned above it is not a one size fits all situation when dealing with a child with adhd.
You need professional help for her. Read as much as you can about ADHD. You have to structure her day. Example
Allow her to choose her outfit for the next day from over night. Have them at a specific place.
She gets up goes to the bathroom
Gets dressed
Eats . Give her option to choose from. (This way you are still in control)
Then choose what comes next.
It would be nice to have 2 timetables in her room one for home and one for school
The school one helps her to get her stuff prepared from over night.
Set up a rewards programme for her to earn for good behaviour. And lose for inappropriate behaviour. Stars would be good
(Do not over use this)
Give her specific chores at home.
Leggo blocks are very good in helping her to focus.
Maximize on her talents and what she likes.
Be patient it is no fault of hers to have ADHD
Occupational therapy and it works MIRACLES !!!
1st of all don’t let anyone tell you she can’t control it. She need to learn how to. When she gets older the cops or no one going to care if there ADHD. But get her a counselor that’s what I did for my kid and thing are alot better. It took time but it did happen.
Take her back to the dr. Maybe the medication dosage is wrong. Maybe she needs to talk to a therapist and come up with a strategy on how she can calm herself
Find them something to do. Crafts are a wonderful outlet because we are in full control of what we want it to be and it’s brain and hand consuming.