How to politely decline going to people houses?right off the bat it isn’t just ONE person who does this. IT IS EVERYONE! Anyway we will get invited to people houses. And the few times we did go, if my mom had to go to the bathroom I was ordered to go with her. Stay in the bathroom with her and to keep her from falling. I was told if she did fall I was to do whatever I could to keep her form getting hurt even if it means hurting myself. I explained that I can’t/won’t do that. Then I get told I had to because they didn’t want her getting hurt in their house. And by the way she weighs over 300 lbs. So yeah that is easy to do. So I don’t want to flat out be rude. So how do I tell them I don’t want to go over with the rules they have in place for us to come over?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to politely decline going to people houses?
Just say thank you for the invitation but unfortunately we can’t make it!
Tell them that they need to hire a caregiver for her outings.
You’re busy.
Or be honest.
I don’t understand why people refuse to communicate.
Just say so? Since they don’t feel comfy, they can come to your house or you can’t come. Or leave mom at home sometimes.
Tell them. My MIL told us she wouldn’t bring her dad over because we had stairs. I said ok, we’ll come to you!
I would just be honest.
As a carer it can actually do more damage than good trying to stop larger people falling and hurting themselves to you and to them there’s ways to guide them to the floor but without knowing what to do again more harm than good … so you can say you don’t want to risk your mother getting hurt or yourself as if your hurt you cannot help take care of her if that’s needed ? … sorry hope I make sence !
Wait I’m confused…
Is it you and your mom going for a visit? Or is it at your moms house? Or is everyone visiting and you’re the one tending to your mom?? 
I would be honest and maybe invite them to come visit with you.
I’m sorry but I don’t know what the problem is you helping your mom to the bathroom and making sure she don’t fall while you’re there. you don’t live with her I’m assuming so it’s not like you’re taking care of her all the time. I took care of my mama till her last day and I do it all over again.
Just say NO it’s too stressful on mum n self. Or invite them to your house 
Be honest
“I feel as you/your home can’t accommodate Mom, it would be best for you to come here.”
Just like that! Thank you for the invite but I politely decline. It’s clearly not safe for her or you.
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Tell them what you just posted here
You say, WE DON’T WANT TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE. You have ridiculous expectations and we refuse.
If it were me, I would say thank you for the invite and leave it at that. If it’s going to cause unhappiness by going, I would not be showing up since no one can make me go where I do not want to go.
Girl just say no. You don’t owe anyone anything.
Just say sorry, I can’t make it.
Honestly, I would not be able to be a caregiver for someone else in these circumstances in my home. Are you not invited if your mom doesn’t go?
I’m kind of confused. Are people inviting your mom places and expecting you to go as the caregiver?
What is the problem exactly. Do you have a problem with helping your own mum? I’m not sure why you would expect anyone else to do this for you. Let’s reverse it . If it was your house and someone was visiting would you expect to help someone else’s mum with the bathroom etc. Or would you expect her family to be there to do that. ?
Just say no thank you don’t explain yourself if your no comfortable 
Just say no thank you bibe already got plans - doesn’t matter if you do or not - you can say no and you can say it doesn’t fit in your schedule.
I’m not sure what your situation is or your age but you may want to also look for some outside help.
Tell them that with the concerns that they have about my mother and her health etc. that it would be better for them to visit with you at your home instead of at theirs.
My mama made the ultimate sacrifice for me and my brother growing up. If she wants to go and visit people and needs help. I’m rolling up my sleeves and do whatever that woman wants.
Is it stressful? Of course. But who else is suppose to take her? The family your visiting, friends, in-laws? That’s not their job. It’s yours.
People don’t want her getting hurt in their house cause they can be reliable in a way.
Tell people to come to you. Or your moms house then.
Simply say that you are just not comfortable coming with your moms health. That should be the end of the story
Say sorry we can’t. 
Personally their request is rude to me so I would just tell them period point blank that with their rules I won’t be attending any invites. They weren’t polite to you or your mom so I wouldn’t give them that respect
I would just have some open communication. Tell them that you are not comfortable with it and they are more than welcome to come visit you at your home. Sounds a lot like these people don’t want the liabilities and honestly if you aren’t trained as a caregiver, it could be more damaging for both you and your mom.
Does your mom live with you?
Just tell them “Not today but thanks for the invite”
Just say…No thank you.
ANYBODY who gave me “rules” before coming to their house isn’t someone I want to be visiting anyways. I’d be like “I’m good. I rather not.” It’s that simple.
“I appreciate the invite so much! I don’t think I’ll be able to make it though. Sorry, but it’s just not my thing. I prefer small gatherings at my place where my mother is comfortable, nothing personal.” <— and this is said to anyone you actually want to give an explanation too. Everyone else is “I appreciate the invite but I don’t think we will be there sorry. Thank you though.”
I’m busy, I don’t feel like it, we both know if I plan this I’m not coming, not to be rude I just not going, I’m a homebody, I’ll check with my partner, kids got this and that, he’ll no. Fuck it
Man I’m glad I’m not your Mom! How heartless 
“nah bro, I can’t come over”
Also why does your mom have to go everywhere with you? Can you not go to someone’s house without her bc then these rules wouldn’t be an issue?
Um they were already rude to you… tell them directly how you feel with zero sugar added
I do not blame you a bit. It is unfair that your mother expects you to do this at all
Tell them as soon as you’re able to find adequate help with assisting her to/while/from the bathroom, that you need to decline going where their home, as they could be liable if she were to get hurt.
Just like you told us
Don’t even bother being polite, just say no. “No” is a full sentence on its own, no other explanation needed. Take care of yourself.
Honesty is the best way. Dont have to tell the whole situation but “hinting” that health problems arise with that are a scary situation.
i’m so sorry your going thur that. But i would tell they sorry i have to much going on with my mom right now.
Tell them no. I tell people no all the time because it’s exhausting watching my kids in other people’s houses. I have 3 rambunctious little boys and I’m not “visiting” anyone where all I do is chase kids because there is no point.
Flat out say, I can’t come visit because of your set rules. That when you visit its a way to relax and unwind. Since I’m not able to do that at your house I’ll stay home and you can come visit me here.
Unfortunately, you’ve come in contact with someone who’s now positive for COVID. You’ll need to isolate
I usually laugh- I’m not going anywhere lol
You are allowed to say NO and not give a reason why…you owe nobody nothing.
Sounds to me like they’re being rude to you so I’d say thanks for the invite but not gonna happen
Just tell them, no I can’t come. Sorry.
I’m confused. Is your mom disabled? Does she have a balance issue? Is she a fall hazard? Coming from someone who is close to 300 lbs & has been closer to 400 lbs, in the past…I’m not fully comprehending why your mom can’t go to the bathroom, alone. I do. I shower alone. I dress myself. I work full time, in & out of a vehicle, up & down stairs…12 hrs a day. So, unless your mom has issues with mobility, balance or vertigo…I’m not understanding this whole thing. If it’s because she’s over 300 lbs, then the inviters are judgemental people & not needed in y’all’s lives. Not everyone over 300 lbs, need an escort to the bathroom 
So, you wont leave her at home alone but are upset that nobody wants her in their home alone? I’m just trying to make it as difficult as your are:rofl:
Just simply decline by saying “my mom’s health isn’t very good right now and we are just more comfortable at home, you are more than welcome to come visit anytime though”
Just don’t go. No explanation.
Just say no, you don’t need to explain why.
You decline directly and bluntly. If people want to visit with your mother they should come to her.
Does she actually need assistance? I mean, does she have trouble getting about, get dizzy often, or have a medical condition that would cause her to fall? If so, than you should be assisting her. Maybe not go into the bathroom, but stay close by in case she needs you. I’d 100% put myself in harm’s way to prevent my mother from severely hurting herself. I’m 20+ years younger. I’m more likely to heal quicker than she would. If they’re simply saying it solely based on her weight, than tell them that you won’t be attending until they can realize that your mother is capable of doing things on her own.
Just a simple no is all it takes. The people that are inviting y’all over sound a little judgemental to me. Neither one of you need people like that in your lives.
Just don’t go 

But also I can definitely understand them wanting to not risk having your mother being hurt in their home if she’s prone to injury. It’s a liability.
Leave your mother at home with others or do not go.
It’s actually not a horrible rule to have if she’s a fall risk and should have help… whats wrong with you that you refuse to help your mother use the bathroom if you take her out the house 
So sorry…we don’t visit much but come over when you can…
Just tell people
You don’t want to go to their places
Because you don’t want to be responsible for your mom if she has a fall
(Which is pretty sad on your part)
I would be lost if my daughter wasn’t my carer and not around to help me
I think you’ve answered your own question. if you’re asked to go to their house and your mother is with you or coming to the house, you should decline the offer by saying; “ Maybe next time when it’s just me and my mom isn’t there. Thanks anyway.”
They have every right to tell you what they are uncomfortable with and set conditions. But you have every right to be uncomfortable with those conditions. So you let them know you respect their decision and expect they respect yours by not accepting.
Just say No when they ask
Just say no…
You cant be expected to manage a 300 lb adult on your own. Its ridiculous to expect that from you.
Of course everyone should want to help their parents but if mom is so liable to fall in other peoples homes then she needs them to visit her instead.
Does she fall a lot? I mean maybe she should get that checked out. If you really want to still go try to have her go to the bathrm before hand at home if possible. Keep your visit short. Tell people you are worried about covid so until that is no longer a concern you do not go into others’ homes at all. Be firm but polite if you really desire to not go.
Don’t go n that’s it I won’t go
“NO” is a COMPLETE SENTENCE. Just say no.
Just say sorry we can’t come over ,taking mum is too big of a worry & they can come visit her at your place "
“Oh, thanks for the invite, but we can’t make it.”
Simple
Just say no u dont have time and your new job keeps u busy
Get smart lady just stop going
They are the ones being ignorant, just say No, we won’t be coming over!
“-Sorry, my mom said no.
-But you’re the mom now.
-Yeah, I said no.” 
Its not a “their rules” thing tho
They have set up boundaries because they very well could be financially liable if she does get hurt and the way you seem to be reacing to their very reasonable boundaries is absolutely childish
If you cant say no you shouldnt be the caregiver to your mom tbh
They’re kind of being flat out rude. Be rude if you must. Or just politely decline, maybe some other time, etc.
If you have a mom with those kind of health problems and you are fully aware of her health restrictions and then you accept an offer to go somewhere with your mom then even without those rules set in place it is still your responsibility. If her restrictions are to much for you to handle (which is perfectly fine) then it’s time to look into some type of home health person or even in patient.
I would say sorry I have plans pr sorry I’m just not going anywhere
Just say do to my my medical issues I can’t but that’s for the invite.
Wow, I wouldn’t even believe you wouldn’t go to help your mother just to be on the safe side.
Just be honest. I don’t know why it’s so hard for Americans to just say shit. 
Ridiculous they think you should put yourself in harm’s way.
They are 100% in the right to set their own boundaries. I wouldn’t want a fall risk in my home without help because of insurance purposes.
You should be doing that anyway. What is wrong w u? Help your mom.
There’s like no back story here. If it’s your mom, help her. If it’s everytime express your feelings for other family to help. Or just don’t go, politely decline. Your mom won’t be here forever, remember that. So it’s up to you to figure out this problem.
There’s a few ways you could approach this, one tell them flat out you can’t physically do it make up every excuse you can think of for the rest of her life, or tell them you’d love to visit but you physically can’t do what is asked and have someone who can be there
Simple.
Just say “no thanks we don’t want to come over”
My daddy is a big man, I take care of him, He’s 88 and I never leave him, except to go to church or one of my grandkids birthday parties. I just hired a nurse to sit with him so I can go to church and b-day parties. I actually understand the rules and why they feel that way. Daddy has had many falls, the last one 3 weeks ago broke his hip at home of course. I refuse to put him in a nursing home. So I moved in with him about 3 months ago. At this point I have not left him. Hire a nurse or an aid if you need to go somewhere, or need some me time. Invite them to your house where she’s safe. Today alone we had about 5 visitors.
say sorry you’re unable to make it or say I’m sorry but my schedule is full
Just tell them like I do I do not visit r do I want anyone to visit me I was raise this way yes I can talk over phone just for a few minutes but I m to busy to gossip n I leave it like that
Tell them no. No means no. No explanation needed!
No is a complete sentence
If your state does anything with home health look into getting an aide! I used to do that and one of my patients was that big and I was pregnant and needed another aides help to get him up to do things. It’s okay to ask for help and I think you would greatly benefit from it. I’m a message away if you have any questions.
Where’s the back story? You jumped in without telling us who “they are”, what’s wrong with your mom, and why she goes with you to everyone’s house lol
Just say “I can’t”, and leave it at that. Now if you do actually want to go and don’t want to be in charge of your mom while out, see if you can get respite care or some type of personal care attendant to stay with her while you go out.
Find someone to watch your mom or just don’t go. They’re allowed to have their own rules
Ok so is your mom falling because of ahealth issue or is she under the influnance? If under the influence then nope they need to cut her off of whatever. Healt issue is a different story.