How to put a spark back in my marriage?

We have been married for 40 years.and their is just no spark I have tried everything bubble baths candles. Sexy nities romantic trips.. We don't drink so. I can't even get him drunk and seduces him... We are in our late 50s . we don't cheat and I see no evadence of him cheating.. But our marriage is Boeing and I need so much more then what we have we love each other so much I can't imagine my life without him.. Our kids are all grown and this should be our time.but it just sucks... Any advise will help.
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I’m sorry that’s happened, that’s not a good feeling. What I’ve learned is just be honest. Tell him your feeling this way & try to figure out ways to do something. Sometimes it’s not all about the sexual stuff but just being in each other’s company and really being there. Do a painting class, if he has a hobby make time to help with it or go shopping for it. I know how you feel as my husband and I go thru those days sometimes.

You should tell him how you feel.
Light a fire. Go for a walk together hold his hand. Talk softly . Slow dance in the living room. Go to a movie sit in the back row. Create fun things to do. Go for a picnic. Rent a row boat. Talk and Listen. Plan a romantic dinner.

Might be time for a physical for him. If he hasn’t had it checked already he might need a prostate exam.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to put a spark back in my marriage? - Mamas Uncut

Maybe get your nails done?

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How does getting your nails done put a spark back in a marriage

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Try fruits and vitamin that boost harmones. Watermelon vitamin B low fat low suger low salt if feels energetic body nature will boost.
There are vitamins for over 50 male n female. Diet could help

Viagra may help him…:thinking:

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Lot’s of watermelon and lemon and Maybe watch some por toguether, not sure what else to recommend lol

Toys couples that play together stay together try toys

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Appreciate what you have. If you need some fun go out for drinks with friends, if he’s happy he doesn’t have to be apart of this new excitement you want. Sounds like you have an amazing marriage, be proud of that and speak highly of it. To be almost 60 I wouldn’t expect too much excitement lol get aways and date nights are fun, try new foods or take a dance class… something a little different but not too much at once. But don’t focus on this idea that suddenly he’s not giving you enough when you are suddenly wanting more. Appreciate what you have and express the need to want to try something new. Good luck :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

As soon as he walks through the door put his pipe in your mouth. :woman_shrugging:t5:That’ll speed up the spice quick. :rofl::rofl:

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When you get that answer let me know cause I am in the same boat

Stop trying so hard to have sex maybe just go back to the beginning and go on dates again go out have fun

Try taking a vacation together and snuggle

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Tried talking to him? Communication is hot.

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Talk to him tell, tell him your feelings. It won’t hurt to let him know that you feeling that you need that spark.

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Try a 30 days couples challenge. There’s tons of different ones to do and try and you can customize it to your own liking and needs.

Maybe he has problems with erection it does happen to some men in their late 50s maybe approach the subject by saying it’s ok if you are having problems it’s nothing to be ashamed of … by you bringing it up rather than him it may just help him … some men recluse and push their wives away because they feel that now they aren’t enough … goodluck and you are a great wife he is a lucky man xx

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CBD under the sly, works wonders for for me a few time’s a month

Maybe he likes being hit :woman_shrugging::rofl:

If i was in your shoes i would make a nice dinner and light some candle’s and talk to him. And generally tell him what’s on your mind and how your feeling. To see what he thinks and also how he feels about how your feeling. Because you never know something might be on his mind where he’s just watching for you to ask because he may have been wanting to say something but just don’t know how to…:woman_shrugging:t5:

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Maybe he thinks your grammar is a turn off? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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It could stem from stress, a poor diet or even health condition and has nothing to do with not finding you attractive etc. Start with a convo and voice your concerns. Listen to hear his and then take action according to his responses.

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Ask your Dr for advice, the Dr knows him better then anyone on here besides yourself. I wish my other half would calm down, mine has it on his mind at all times :roll_eyes:

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Probably an issue with erection he doesn’t want to discuss. There are options

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I would say take him back to the place where y’all first met and reminis. It’ll bring back so many memories and it’ll make I’m fall in love with you all over again… or you can just slip him a Viagra lol

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Try new things together. Go out of your comfort zone. Bring back some excitement by having firsts again with each other.

Talk to him. Tell him what you want and what you need.

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Try a night of edibles and see where it takes you :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::heartpulse:

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Go to a swinger party

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He probably had low testosterone. It’s a real thing but can be fixed easy!!

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You’re reaching out to strangers on FB instead of trying to honestly talk to the person you allegedly love. Do him a favor and leave him. Your heart isn’t in it and neither of you deserve the misery you’ve created.

If you think your marriage is boring and you’re resorting to FB, don’t fool yourself - he agrees, he likely doesn’t care or had found another way to cope with it. It’s not all about you and your feelings. You’re both in it. You both feel it. You both know exactly how it is.

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Go away together. Plan a little getaway somewhere. Going away always relaxes me/us and because our responsibilities/chores aren’t at the forefront of our mind I find that we can really enjoy each other’s company more. :heart:

Maybe he cant give you what you need sexually but can give you what you need emotionally. Maybe ask if you can explore other partners?

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Maybe he embarrassed and needs the little blue pill for some help…

Gestures are nice because it can add spice to your relationship but have you tried to spend time and talk to him and communicate and share it can’t always be a bubble baths and fancy dinners you have to have basic communication happening

If you don’t communicate to him what you want, he will never know. ⚘

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Start drinking 𝐽𝑘 𝐽𝑘 𝐽𝑘

Y’all need a couple Blunts, bathtub and music! Let the elevation and new love come out! :raised_hands:t4::heart_eyes::dash:

THC try it… lol together tho lol

Give him viagra :woman_shrugging:t4:

Communicate. Talk to him. Like someone else said this isn’t all about you.
Ask him if there’s something wrong, ask him if there’s something you can do, talk to him about couples counseling, maybe pick up a hobby together… and honestly it just sounds likes you’re extremely horny talk to him about buying a toy. But make sure you talk to him first buying it behind his back may make him feel very insecure. I cant stress this enough BUT communicate. End of story.

Well what i understand about marriage is that that is your partner that you can rely and depend on. I’ve been in my current relationship for 4 years now and marriage seems in the near future. Im fully expecting that at some point, that magical feeling will just die and to be okay with it cause there’s nothing wrong with coegsisting together. However, if you REALLY want the magic to come back. TAKE MDMA. Any time my boyfriend and I want to reconnect and ignite our love again, we take MDMA and there’s no “trying” it works every time. You open up, you talk to your partner and feel like young teens in love all over again and it enhances sex. Do your research though: make sure you drink plenty of water and even take some 5HTP afterwards. There are supplements you can take before, during, and after to prevent a hangover and to make sure any chemicals that were depleted are restored.

Have you tried a loquer like amaretto banana rum such like that make a punch. It’s only abt 1% alcohol…it may help you guys loosen up. Maybe a nice wine cooler. Dinner n dancing

Start with a conversation that is not blaming or judgmental. Tell him all the things you told yourself when has the last time you have veen his girlfriend and not his wife ? That might be a start . Now is the time you get to explore these ideas . Don’t explore someone else though . Maybe look at proper care and feeding of husbands? It’s a book . Both look honestly at your health . Men are somewhat reluctant if they have issues . Perhaps , a check up could also help maybe leave some mens health articles around for him to read . Sometimes you need to attend to things that have changed . It isn’t always a blue pill to fix it .

Never stop dating have a night for yourself give it a chance to fall back in love with the person you’re married to

All I’m reading are things that females enjoy… not so much a husband. (Aside from the lingerie) Think of things for him not for you. Maybe try fun not romantic.

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Talk to him, communication is key.

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Have u tried telling him I need more?

Talk to him and tell him your need and ask him what he needs. If he’s not going to try see if he’ll go to a marriage counselor and if he’s not down for that maybe you’ve grown apart and need to consider either staying with him as status quo or moving on. At your age you shouldn’t settle.

Have you tried toys? There’s so much out there that he could enjoy using on you

Talk to him ask him what he would like . Spending time together to get to know each other is key … why I say know each other ? Because even after 40 years there’s still new things to learn . You guys are in a another phase which is adulthood empty nesters . Relearn techniques you two may have enjoyed in the past go to a sex therapist. Also get a full physical work up there may be underlying medical conditions he may be to embarrassed to speak to you about . It’s hard for some men to say out loud they suffer from E.D .

Is he diabetic that causes sexual issues

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Have you just sat him down and talked to him? Maybe I’m spoiled🤷🏼‍♀️ but me and mine talk thru things

Watch a sexy romantic movie

Communication is hard especially if he is going threw low T, men really dont want talk about that because its embarrassing, most of all u both need to put God first period try praying together or try reenacting your first date together good luck wish u both well

Most of these comments aren’t the greatest. Just talk to your husband and tell him what you need and how you feel. If you don’t speak up it won’t change. He obviously lives you because he’s still with you. He may just have issues in that department. Fb is not a good way for advice.

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Try to bring back something both of you enjoyed when y’all first met places you both enjoyed as a young couple have a deep conversations ask him if he wants to try something new communication is key :heart:

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Men like freaks and oral sex do some different things try watching p**** together

I thought this page was about nails??? I’m starting to think I’m in the wrong place…

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Talk to him about how you feel, if he dosent change seek a therapist if that dosent help leave.

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Dont ask for advice on Facebook. So many stupid comments .people dont know what there talking a out .I wouldn’t put personal stuff on here .

Just try be intimate doesn’t need to be sexual. Have a day giving each other massages, go for a spa day. Do something you both enjoy, have a romantic dinner. Try cook his favorite meal

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Have his testosterone checked. Alot of men are low.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to put a spark back in my marriage? - Mamas Uncut

Don’t ask people online to get in your business and have an open honest conversation with your husband? 🤷🤷

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Could thia be related to medical for him?

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Slip him a blue thing in his orange juice 🤷

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The first step to fixing a problem is acknowledging there is one so I commend you for reaching out for advice :purple_heart: if you haven’t spoke to your husband yet ,try having an honest heart to heart . Often times we as women think its something to do with us or not being desirable anymore when in reality it could be something to do with his age and libido. Men aren’t very open about issues like that at times and he may just be embarrassed… but luckily there’s treatments and if that’s not the issue maybe suggest some couple therapy for some exercises that can get yall back on track . Best of wishes :purple_heart:

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Sex toys…a sex swing…role play…with sexy costume lingerie

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Date nights help. If they don’t, time for divorce

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Get you some eatable cannibus. If it’s him Viagra.

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Try a tincture called Damiana , it’s an herbal remedy :wink: also get yourself some Damiana oil and use it as perfume … :kissing_heart:

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Maybe a trip to the doctor will help on his part I think it’s a pretty normal thing for men in their 50s

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Communication, …how will one know if u dont tell

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Count your blessings if no one cheats and you love each other.
Been together that long and you still have love.
You have more than a whole lot of people.

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Weekend trip. Visit the local strip club. Get stoned. Buy a sexy outfit. Have some fun

Talk to your husband. Also please don’t listen to the people telling you to drug him with viagra. Imagine if that was the other way around, hell would break loose.

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  1. Take a break from each other but don’t date other people.
  2. Get physically fit. This improves libido.
  3. Get a makeover both of you.
  4. Get back together.
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Talk to him and tell tell him how you feel and what you want from the relationship. He can’t read your mind. Ask him what excites him and then do it!

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Viagra and a blow job respectfully

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Maybe try some new lingerie and toys… surprise him. Get one of those sex board games

Try another airline!

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Plan a vacation together. A cruise or something that y’all get to experience together as a couple.

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Communicate and act on that communication. People change all the time and want different things and if you can’t work together then time to find your happiness on your own with or without his support

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Never divorce. Have him seek ED help.

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Recreate the first time you met :tulip::blush:

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Suck his thang until his soul leaves his body, and even after that lol.

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Communicate with him if it’s sexual that you’re talking about sometimes things happen at a certain age but if you’re looking for more than that for a connection just talk to him and ask him how he feels you might be both in the same spot and not even realize it

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Sounds like he has ED? Communicate with him

Will he try edibles?

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Did you communicate this to your husband?

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Sit beside him.Hug him.Tell him he is everything you need.Tell him why he is.Tell him your grateful for him every morning…and through each night…Tell him you want to touch him much more since you got more alone time…

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First step is to have a really serious with him that no one else needs to know about. Then no matter the result still go to marriage counseling.

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Maybe he needs to see a doctor and be honest with him maybe he has ED

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Sounds like he has something going on. Does he have ED?

Maybe he’s not attracted to you anymore.

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People put so much effort into raising their children that when they grow up and move away they are now married to a stranger. I would not say anything or even question him. Next time he runs to the store or town just say hold up I’m going to ride/ walk with you…ect. and just listen to him talk, get to know each other again, and get Reacquainted with each other , like you said 40 yrs. the love is there.

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