Talk with him and let him know how you feel. Get out of your normal routine and go on a date stay out the night. Get a hotel. Mini vacation
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Just had eye surgery - thought the question said how do I put the spank back in my marriage 
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Viagra! He may not be able to get it up and that is the reason for the lack of love in the bedroom. Some men donāt speak about it as itās embarrassingā¦ or maybe notā¦ just a thought
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Play a game he likes to play, example. Card game poker or Scrabble. Turn it into strip poker or strip Scrabble. Either beat him or intentionally lose whichever way works. Itās an idea. 
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Tell him how you really feel and if that doesnāt help, try counseling.
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COMMUNICATIONā¦Talk to himā¦I have been married for almost 30 yrs. Its not all rosesā¦it takes work from both sidesā¦have him see his Dr to make sure his levels are not lowā¦hang in thereā¦donāt give up
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Or maybe add some ātoysā to the date. At least one of you would be happy 
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My husband is in his 30 and heās the same way I tried it all nothing I only get it when heās in mood
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Everyone has a different sex drive and mybe your pressuring him puts him off it doesnāt mean he doesnāt love just means he may have lost the urge men are like woman if ya dont want it ya donāt want it ā¦just saying
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Well done getting to 40 years! It does get harder as time goes on for all of that romantic stuff, so maybe lower your expectations a little. Plan a weekend away, somewhere nice and relaxing. Do something different, get out of the comfort zone. Xx
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The most sexy thing you can do is show him how much you care. Little things like his favorite movie for movie nite. His favorite dinner. Sexy doesnāt have to be blatant sexuality. Kisses and care!
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There is a book titled the five love languages by G Chapman, read it. It will help you discover his love language and yours too. Love is a beautiful thing but it takes a lot of effort to sustain it. Itās like a burning fire you need a constant supply of wood to keep it burning
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Massages vacation porn and if that donāt work put a lot of garlic in his food itās a natural aphrodisiac and if that donāt work get counseling good luck
Plan once a month special date, sit back remember/guess game special times , play games , dress up go somewhere different go for a long ride , plan a special romantic dinner date, go have both massages done , try a weekend of fasting, go to the botanicals admire nature
Is best to sit down and discuss this with him. If he feels the same way then that is the first step of seeking advise together a means of getting help. Talk to your doctor. Wish you both the best
Itās obvious he needs the menās clinic. He might not tell you, unless you question him in a loving way and encourage him to seek for help
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Try going on dates where you take turns picking where you go and try talking about some of the reasons you first fell in love to rekindle the love you first had!!
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Perhaps a getaway. When youāre away from home things may look different. Youāll be away fron all that comfortable tuff and you may be able to talk more openly.
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it maybe medical- alot of men and women have hormone problems as we get older talk with him and try to make him feel younger than he is.
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Absence makes the heart grow fonder but he might also decide things are better without youā¦ that strategy in and of itself may not garner the result youāre hoping to achieve. What youāve tried seems to be what the woman enjoys more. Studies show that people perceive that their date is more attractive when the activity promotes an increase in adrenalin so maybe a bit of thrillseeking would help eg a walk on a suspension bridge, hot air balloon ride, high speed boat, parasail. I think that happy confident people who have a life ie their own interests are more likely to attract similarly happy people. You donāt have to do things together to benefitā¦ him playing golf, or doing a cooking class, or you joining an amateur theatre company or volunteering at an animal rescue (for example) can mean that youāre both fulfilled and then more whole as individuals coming together. If you want to go to āextremesāā¦ look at a sex toy catalogue and porn together, go to Sexpo if you have that kind of conference there, maybe a shibari performance, perhaps learn about massage, yoni massage or the karma sutraā¦ Maybe work on yourself and your appearance to make you feel better, if that will make you feel more confident and as a pleasant by product get his attention (exercise, hair and make up, wardrobe stylist etc). I donāt know what you look like and have no intention of offending anyone but am just throwing out ideas that anyone reading this may find helpful. Finding fulfilling activities could bring more friends into your lives and enhance your social circle so youāre not sharing the same stories youāve heard before. Travel if you can. Do things with spontaneity. If you donāt bring out the best in eachother and the relationship has run its course you are allowed to consider whether moving on will make either/ both of you happy. That is an option.
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I have read most of the comments and some good advice is thereā¦ Here is mine. 1-could be a medical issue ,eg - low testosterone .these days an easy fix , 2- A change of location,eg-go on a cruise ,get away for a week or more. 3 - try to remember what. attraction was there in the beginning and try to create that atmosphere. 3 - spend time together, just the 2 of you eg take walks,go for dinner,go for a drive with some love songs that you both love. 4 Re do the bedroom ,make it an intimate place also no cell phone or tv in there. The bottom line sit him down and have a heart to heart chat with him. - Closer home. ,work on yourself. -eg. a new hairdo ,something sexy in the bedroom , be more attentive to him,call him just to chat. Finally use your hands ,reach for him,use your mouth .tell you love him,kiss him like that first time. Wishing the best of love.
What you need is DATE NIGHT. Pick one night out of the week and do something, weather itās playing a border game at the table, or going bowling or to a movie. Make plans!
If you love each other so much being intimate should come naturally. Seek counseling. There may be problems that you arenāt acknowledging.
At his age he could have low testosterone. He might need the little blue pill. My husband has taken them on occasion.
Have some soft music ,candle light dinner ,waiting for him when he comes home .blind fold him at door ,and tell hi. You have a surprize for him ,a nice bottle of wine and some soft music you can dance to.also get a rev to renew your vows .wt ever way u want to do it .dress in wedding dress if you can and take him to same place that u went on your honey moon ,if its to far a way improvise .good luck dress in best coving up with a long coat so he cant see .good luck .
You need to ask your husband to be completely honest about his feelings.
Itās been a long time since the two of you have had a real heart to heart? Start from theirā¦
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Ask him to write out 3 fantasyās or ādatesā or what you want to label them. If he canāt think of āa want or fantasy IDKā and you do the same. Take one fantasy from one of you a week for 6 weeks. The sillier or funnier in a sexual way the better. Where and what are the important things but wearing what and doing what is what you want to zero in on. Make it fun , who doesnāt want to have fun outside your usual box. Part of it is wanting to do it. Good luck with what ever you do
Husband could be having problems in that area and canāt bring it up. A visit to the right doctor can shed light on the problem plus a solution. Been there with 2 different husbands and it is fixable.
Remember what you did when you were dating and go back to it. Find a hobby that you both enjoy maybe dance class. Some thing that would bring fun to your life itās easy to get into a run after a few years. I will definitely pray about it first. Life is not guaranteed so try to make the most of it
Iāve been with my husband. For 49 years. The romance went long ago. But weāre good mates.
You said Love is there what do want more than love??
Men can suffer from low testosterone and depression too. I would have him check with a doctor. He may just be low on hormones.
Firstā¦ Motercycle. 2nd, he may need meds for a little extra help (its not uncommon, and its fine). 3rd. Sexting.
Gift yourself a magical vibrator, sex is only a small part of marriage, talk to him, it could be medical, and do the research, do not force this issue, but go ahead and please yourself, take yourself out, and just perhaps, he might join you! Perhaps a new class, both of you may enjoy together! Goodluck, these are the slight nuances of relationships, that are difficult and unique to each couple! Go out to dinner or even have friends around!
Sex is to much work for men at times after 50ā¦ medical issues especially diabetes takes a toll on your nerves in all your extremitiesā¦ he could be having silent health issues, go to a doctor, but itās life, and it sucksā¦ find a passion for yourself I became a Silversmith
Not to be intrusive butā¦if he had some ed issues he may be embarrassed. Do you initiate? Have you talked to him about it. Look on some websites for toys/sexy clothes and have him sit down an shop with you.
They have retreats for you both ,Everymanās battle is their title.
Right each other notes or letters and let each other know your fantasies and then try them not always about sex but it might help.good luck with what ever you decide to do
Your telling us but have you told him this. At this point what do you have to lose being straightforward and completely honest with him.
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Seems the only thing you havenāt tried is talking to him. He may be experiencing some changes in erection or ejaculation, which is common at that age, but fixable.
Your husband needs a complete physicalā¦sounds like heās concealing health issues to me.
People have that whole newlywed ābutterfliesā in the stomach thing happening very early in relationships. But as they settle into life together, things become veryā¦routine, and boring. Especially if you have kids. Some people, even after their kids are grown, just stay in that same old boring humdrum routine. They drift apart romantically. It could be you both love each other very much, but, because itās comfortable. Itās part of the routine. Itās safe. Some people are perfectly happy with that kind of life, and others want more. Have you tried actually sitting down with him and telling him how you feel? Or is he one of those men that just donāt talk about their feelings? Maybe he has low testosterone levels, or ED. He may need to get some of those little purple pills to give him a little help in the bedroom. These are things a lot of men donāt like to talk about. They donāt want to admit thereās a problem. So you may have to push him just a little to talk to you. If you canāt get him to open up, maybe suggest some marriage counseling. Not because youāre fighting or anything like that, but just to open some lines of communication between you.
Get a vibrator, hang out with girlfriend (not saying with vibe) and come home to enjoy his company.
He probably needs viajarĆ” cause he is embarrassed to not be able to get an erection or keep it. Talk about it being ok and go get those pills
START by making a date night with a movie and a romantic dinnerā¦
There are counseling on a particular radio station I listen to 99.7FM. They have help in many areas.
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Welcome to real life. My advice? Whatever you do donāt go looking for excitement without him.
Bottom line. Youā¦ canāt MAKE him, go to a Dr. You canāt MAKE him, doā¦ anything. Even IF itās low T, many men just wonāt talk to a Dr about it . And just as often, itās stress & depression. And, ***tho people on here donāt seem to realize it, *** some, just donāt see it as a priority, after age 50. *** Regardless , if you talk to him , nicely & calmly, 2-3 x & he still refuses to discuss whatever the issue is, with/ you &/ or, his Drā¦ you just gotta make the choice to accept it , or not , & go from there.
Get an outside lover in his 40s, but keep it on the down low.
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Itās all in your head. And his. Talk to him. See how he feels about sex now. Ask him what he wants to do.
Start a dance class with a couple of glasses of wine . Write on bits of paper ideas for dates take one out each week take turns in arranging/ deciding what/where to go 
Did you have a honeymoon? Recreate that
Why try to be sexy after 40 some years just enjoy each other in other ways.
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Have you tried talking to him?
TANTRA! Go on a week long retreat with TANTRA coaches other couples going through the same thing you will learn to take your already committed and deep loving relationship to another level beyond YOUR DREAMS! Good luck keep ME posted if YOU DO IT And IT WORKS! 
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
That happened to my husband heās OK now. However he had prostate cancer
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Start dressing sexy and surprise him with rose 
peddles to the bedroom with candlesā¦ Never let the spark go I am 60 my husband is 49 so I definitely keep it sexy
Love is not just sex many other ways to enjoy each others company
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That happens after so long you become like brother and sister.
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Testosterone levels are low
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My case is right opposite. My wife lost interest along time ago.
If you can take a vacation together.
Surprise a date night of something special youād both like to do
Doctor appointment. He may be embarrassed to admit a physical problem.
Really?? Till death do us part. How bout we just ask a bunch of strangers on facebook!!!
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Love sometimes hides itself from you. You just need to look for it.? Like late night head massage or head scratching.
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Count your blessings and try to develop new interests that will work for both of you.
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Sex isnāt the only form of intimacy. Also just because you arenāt having sex that doesnāt mean you are boring. Enjoy each other. Love on each other and kiss on and hug each other. Start there and I have a feeling that you will get to sex. Just have to figure out each otherās love languages again. They may have even changed over the years. Do things together and enjoy each otherās company. Society places so much pressure on making people feel abnormal if they arenāt jumping each otherās bones. Figure out what makes yāall feel happy and intimate and run with it.
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Sex isnāt everything. Read books together. Bake. Or go make a garden. At this point, Iām sure heās realized that there are other things in marriage beyond sex. Iām a virgin.
Get some toys and edible lubricant from pure romanceā¦ the O is amazing (tastes like vanilla frosting and you both will enjoy the sensation you get from it 
) and get a silver bullet vibratorā¦ you donāt need to be young to have fun and if youāre not into the edibles just use it as a lubricant he will looooove it (my husband is 50 so maybe a little younger than yours but trust it works) weāve been married 18yrs
The love is still there, you just need to look for it . Or to coin a term, look with better eyes than that.
Communication is the key. Be open and honest with him. Ask him what he would feel comfortable with, maybe heās just waiting for you to ask.
Some men are shy about creativity in the bedroom.
Go out to eat and talk tell him how you feel
Go nude when ever you get the opportunity. Maybe he will think you are trying to get his attention.
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Both of you need to remember why you were attracted too each otherā¦
IT WORKS
Join an activity group you both interested in
Do something spontaneous in a new destination
Start having drinks an watch pornos
Take a trip ā¦ go on a cruise ā¦ try to get away so you can reconnectā¦ talkā¦ have fun. Togetherā¦
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yeah, so much loveā¦calls her marriage boringā¦so lovingā¦SMH
It can be lost, it can also be found again. Just donāt ,?give, up
Your relationship sounds great to me! You raised a family, no abuse, cheating, and you love each other. Iād be grateful for what I have. Personally I think too much emphasis is put on sex and performance in relationshipsā¦I know several ladies in their late 50ās who would be thrilled that their husband wasnāt constantly hounding them for sex! (
) Seriously, there are so many, many ways to share intimacy and closeness besides sex. Sex is overrated.
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You are given up to easy ,you need to get to the root of the problem, could be medical , anxiety can cause it and depression , you need to consult your family doctor together , and if itās not medical you need to see a counselor , some time apart and giving him alone time might be what he needs , but right now you need to make a appt with your family doctor , in the mean time will be praying for you both to get the right help to get your marriage back where it needs to be , there is reason , maybe you both have issues that need to be dealt with , God bless you both in finding the answers and being happy again ā¦
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Youāre tell us now go tell him and you both put in the work. Explore everything healthy that is
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Can he have an erection? My ex stopped coming anywhere near me cause HE couldnāt convince ME it was MY FAULT!! NOT!!. Suffered for over 15yrs! Thought if I was better wife, heād chg. He did! After I had knee surg and was off wk, he hooked up w/ someone from HS on FB, and divorced me last Aug. Our anniversary was end of mo! Read on narcissists on Pinterest. Canāt be fixed. She almost threw him out for not helping w/ bills! PLEASE DONāT WASTE TIME TRYING TO CHG SOMEONE WHO REFUSES TO CHG. Mine would NEVER get help for his ED. Kept denying.
maybe the man is just tired and burned out, maybe hes depresed, maybe hes tired of the nagging, some times after people get so old. and had thier kids, they are done with sex. do you keep your self up. and clean? with some its boring, and they just dont want to be bothered.maybe hes just tired,
Work at itā¦romance ea other with eye contact the way a new man looks kissss a new found woman. Date night is a wonderful ideaā¦but dont get lazy be sexy both of you.
I donāt think the problem is you hun. He might need an enhancer himself , wink
He may need help but embarrassed to say ā¦or he just doesnāt need sex so much anymore
Talk to your husband not Facebookā¦ Really. Or seek professional help hoe many times Facebook is not a proper medical professional siteā¦
Buy some toys. Men like them too!
Contain go talk with someone who been there
Glad you tjink thats the answer Rob. Ha
Get a lover for your self.
This is the wrong forum to ask for advice lol
Give him a blow job if that doesnāt put a spark in his ass call local undertaker
Try a complete make over for both of you.
Heās an English major and can no longer tolerate your writing.
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Time for departure hehe
Watch āOutlanderā together.