First just breath. Next take a step back and look at the whole picture. Was the 4 yr olds tantrums the same before you had the 10 month old or have they gotten worse. Little man im sure is feeling all the changes he now has a little sister and there is a baby on the way that is alot for a little one and their emotions get the best of them to. Remember to always pick your battles. Make sure you are involving him as nuch as he would like to be with the babies. I woukd start by giving him small tasks/chores/jobs to keep him busy im talking help mom dry the dishes or help throw clothes in the washer make him feel like a big kid. Maybe try a quiet time 30 minutes or an hour try to sit down with him and get him to āreadā to you. When something upsets you take a deep breath and try to count to 10 before you react, even a short 10 seconds to think about what you are going to do or say can make all the difference in how you respond and how he will respond.
Honestly any attention is attention even uf its negative so he may act out even more to get that attention.
how you gonna add another and manage 3 if you canāt even manage 2? Kids are going to throw tantrums, yelling at them isnāt going to do a damn thing but create a barrier between you and them where you arenāt there āsafe placeā anymore. You can punish and be firm/strict without yelling.
you just do it.
"Good job!").
I have 3 kids and my oldest was our hardest. But you have to HAVE TO make sure to make bonding time. With 3 and being a stay at home mom and never having a break you still HAVE to figure out a way to give them each a little special time. Even if the younger 2 are put down for a nap and then you do something one on one with the 4 year old. Bonding is SOOOO IMPORTANT! Mine are getting older where the younger ones donāt take naps as much anymore. So I set 2 kids up doing something so I can spend some time with one alone. Or if dad is home or a grandparent even if itās just running to the grocery store (which usually I have all 3!) But some times I wait and go in the evening so I can take one. Get them something little and talk the entire time really getting down to their feelings and whatās going on with them. Or Iāll take a walk outside with one where they have all my attention while the other 2 are inside. This is for when they get past the napping stage. For you while they are little the 4 year old is used to having all your attention and now your 10 month old is getting it all because the 10 month old is more needy. Usually this is a cry for attention. When you have the 3rd itās gonna get worse unless you can find more time for the 4 year old. When I would have another kid instead of everyone being all over the new baby we always made the older one become the ābig boy or girlā and such a big helper! We would make such huge deals over how they are such an awesome big brother and such an awesome big helper! Get him involved in everything with the baby but instead of putting the focus on the new baby like āoh she smiled!ā Make it to be āoh look! You made her smile!ā Ask them to hold the bottle when your feeding, ask him to grab a diaper and then while your feeding or changing diapers the entire time praise him for helping SOOO MUCH! The more you can praise them the better because heās getting attention for being good instead of acting out trying to get any attention from you. Start practicing now with the 10 month old because if things donāt change its only gonna get worse with the 3rd.
some of it has given me perspective, some of it has changed a lot for me. A daily struggleā¦ you are not alone
