How to tell my ex about my new relationship?

My ex husband and I have been divorced for 2 years and I'm starting to talk to someone knew and possibly leading to a relationship. When/how should I tell my ex husband I'm starting a new relationship? We do have small children and I haven't been in a relationship nor he since our divorce
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to tell my ex about my new relationship?

When you are in the relationship

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When you feel the relationship is going somewhere permanently

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I don’t think you need to tell him, it’s not his business.

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Unless it’s getting serious, I wouldn’t bring it up. Depends how long you’ve been seeing the other person.

I suggest 6 months in to the relationship.

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It’s not his business unless you are serious. Then he has every right to know who is around his kids.

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When you decide it’s time to meet the children

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My ex and I told eachother who we were talking to, seeing, etc. It wasn’t weird to say, ‘I’m going on this date’, or ‘I’m talking to this guy’. He did the same. :woman_shrugging:t2: There wasn’t anything to hide, and we have a son together. We both started talking to people months after we split.

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You do not owe him any explanation of your new private life. Stay private.

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Before he meets the kids.

None of his business

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Don’t. Keep the kids out of it too until it’s a very serious relationship and then tell your ex. no overnights w the bf and kids either.

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Before you introduce this person to your children , since you and the ex co-parent .

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Why did y’all get a divorce just to not see others? Once divorced you move on right?

None of his business

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I don’t think I’d tell him until you know it’s going towards a serious relationship… And unless you’re ready for the kids to meet this new guy…

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Not his business unless u plan on getting married to the new guy.

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I’ve been seeing someone, it’s starting to get serious. I thought you should hear it from me first. But nothing is going to change with you, me, and the kids and our co parenting.

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Wait until you know it’s going somewhere. Also wait for that point to introduce them to your child.

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I would let him know but also let him know that untill it’s serious you won’t be involving the kids. As you are divorced I imagine they would be his main concern.

You don’t need to tell him anything unless it’s a permanent thing. And same with your children if their little.

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How come its his business?

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My ex didn’t tell.me he was seeing anyone until he got her permission to give me her address since he was moving in with her.
We had lawyers in the past say if something is serious they are supposed to introduce the new partner before putting the child in but unfortunate till this day I still have actually met her. If seen her in the car but never spoken to her or met her. My son hates her

IMO the kids shouldn’t meet him for AT LEAST 3 months after you have established it is a relationship. Depending on your relationship with your ex I feel as if you could tell him BEFORE the kids meet him. Just ask yourself how you would want him to treat a new relationship with you and the kids.

Dont say anything until it is solid.

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When would you want to know about “his girlfriend/relationship”? Thats when you should tell/introduce.

Why do feel the need to explain

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Why do you explain yourself to your exhusband? What if he says you’re not allowed? Are you divorced or in seperate states?

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Why should you… nothing to do with ex husband. Have fun, enjoy and see what happens.

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Tell him before new dude meets the kiddos!! Cuz they will tell your Ex EVERYTHING!! Mommy wears lipstick. I saw mommy kiss him like she used to kiss you. I had to pee @ 4 a.m & he was grinning from ear to ear & he was tiptoeing thru the kitchen holding his shoes, with his shirt untucked & mommy was standing at her bedroom door w a dreamy look on her face& in her nice robe. He always stays the night on the “sofa”. Mommy says he’s in much better financial situation than you are. He always takes us to fancy restaurants & he lets us pretend drive while we wait for the valet. I get to give the waitress a $50 after dessert!! I have the valet $20 & he jumped up & clicked his heels… etc.

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I would personally wait till it’s serious enough to even call it a relationship, but really I say tell him when your comfortable and ready. Cause you deserve to be happy

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Personally, when you’re ready to introduce this man to your children. I see comments like… why is it his business… it’s not his business UNTIL you’re going to have the new man around the kids. They’re his kids too and out of respect, he should know another man will be around them. Surely if/when your ex husband starts to date you’ll want to know if another woman is going to be around your children. It’s courtesy.

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Not his business. You don’t have to tell him especially if you aren’t even sure anything is going to develop.

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If it’s serious, tell him before the kids meet the new guy.

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I personally wouldn’t mention any of it to him, UNTIL; it’s about to involve the children.
I personally feel once the kids become involved is when it partially becomes his business(to do with the kids part only).

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Not his business u do u momma. Just leave kids outta it until you now for sure ur going to be with him. Ex husband doesn’t need to know anything u do just about kids that’s it

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You DO NOT have to mention an effing thing about your personal life to your EX-HUSBAND/ don’t ever forget that is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS :angry:

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You dont need to tell him. His your ex, why do you care if he knows that you are seeing someone new? Just let find out on his own that you are seeing someone. Or do you want your ex to cause drama with you and your new guy? Just leave ur ex in the dark. He has no hold or control on you or your life.

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I think it would be worth mentioning since you have small children together. Don’t mention it until you plan on bringing them around your kids.

Its your privet life why does he need to know

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1: none of his business…
2: why would you want to make it his business when it is nothing yet, want to make him jealous and want you back…
3: he hasn’t asked you out on a date, and may not ever, and your already talking a possible relationship…:thinking::thinking:

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There isn’t even a relationship to be telling him about. Even if there does become one, he doesn’t need to know unless it’s been 6 to 12 months down the line and you’re ready to introduce your kids to the guy. He does have a right to know and meet who is going to be around his children. But right now? Absolutely not. You’ve only been talking to the guy. All you’re going to do was create a potential problem for yourself

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Before your children meet him

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You don’t need his consent. I would mention before he meets the kids if that is what you guys decided when you divorced

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Who cares what the ex thinks?!?

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Are you ready to move on if your second guessing yourself it must’ve been more traumatic then you realise .But so saying he doesn’t need to be sensitive if your divorce was mutually agreed upon so it’s a question of where you think your at in this stage not your ex luvey.good luck your journey is still ahead of you but be safe you and your babies …

If he isn’t meeting your children yet, it isn’t any of your ex’s business. Also, how do you know for sure he hasn’t been dating?

Why does he need to know? Do You need his permission!!!

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It’s none of his business

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First you don’t involved the children until at least 6 months in AND it’s extremely serious. Right before you introduce the kids, you tell the ex that you’re introducing the kids. That all you owe him. If I had a great relationship with my ex (I don’t) I’d go about introducing the ex and the new guy bc the new guy will be around the kids.

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When would you want him to tell you? What are both of your expectations when it comes to the new gf/bf being around kids? What are the do’s and don’t for the new partner?.. Co-parenting is hard and emotional. Set the precedent that you want that kind of relationship (since your the first to date) and respect him the way you would want him to do you. When you talk to him about it try to not bring up any relationship issues and stick to the “parenting plan”. God willing he will me emotionally ready to try and have this type of relationship with you… If it becomes a big thing and he can’t then just start dating and deal with his crap as he throws it… You seem like your ready to move on with your life so i say go for it either way he goes. You deserve to be happy

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Do you and ex have a plan in your MSA for “significant others”? Personally, with children, of any age, especially younger, wait until they are actually “significant” before introducing to the kids —> and you don’t need your ex’s permission.

It’s none of his business, but if you’re doing it out of courtesy then I would suggest you don’t mention it till you and said new lover are getting more serious and they are going to meet the children.

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Until you’re serious enough for new guy to meet the kids, hopefully months from now, it’s not your ex’s business

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he don’t need to know

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You don’t ow him anything none of his business

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Why did you divorced him from first place since you still care about him. Don’t start any relationship until you ready to move on

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It’s not really his business if you are seeing someone. With that being said wait until the kids meet the bf and then casually mention “hey,I’ve been seeing So and So for x amount of months now. The kids are meeting him for the first time on x day.” Thats really all he needs to know. Because let’s face it, he probably hasn’t told you about all his relationships he has had.

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It’s none of his business, girl.

When you decide to let your new man meet the kids then I’m sure that’s when you’ll probably want to tell him.

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None of his business

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Depends on y’all’s friendship

Bernabe Salazar can you weigh in on your opinion?

It’s not any of his business if he is your Ex.

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If you have basic respect for each other and expect the same in return then you should inform him when things actually get serious.

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When you feel the relationship has become serious, with kids involved he definitely has a right to know as this other person is becoming involved in your children’s lives and therefore involved in his life as he will be co parenting with you both. But ultimately it’s when you feel comfortable.

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you dont need to tell him unless it gets serious and long term. also dont bring this new guy around your kids for at least a few months. just to see if it will be a long good relationship

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I can see why most of you are divorced. It’s a respect factor if you co-parent. You are teaching your kids you can still be friends after a divorce. Telling your ex about a new relationship when little kids are involved is a way to keep communication open and continue to develop that relationship, especially if you co-parent. Feel the water; once you’ve gone a couple dates with him, you’ll decide whether or not you see a future with him. If you see a future with him and it turns out to be exclusive, then tell your ex; hey I met someone and I want you and the kids to meet him, etc. Good luck with your new adventure.

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When you have said person around your children it would be courteous to give your ex a heads up. Until then it is not his business

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Man, a lot of these women are petty. I would say something to him, before your new one meets your kids. Just let your ex know that you’ve been seeing someone a while and think it’s time for him to meet your kids. :woman_shrugging:t3: Don’t make a bigger deal than what it is, but I applaud you for being an adult about it.

If these women’s ex’s had a new girlfriend, they’d all raise a fuss.

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When you’re ready to get the kids involved

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None of his business.

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They say to wait about a year to introduce your children to a new person you share a relationship with… I’d say talk to him before that happens… about a year

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I would tell him in private and not in front of the kids. He does have a right to know because his kids are involved. However, there is nothing wrong with you having a relationship with someone else. As long as your kids are safe and happy. I wish you all the best for your future

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I wouldn’t tell him but I found out that my ex was married through Facebook and now she’s mean to my kids so…

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I’d talk to him when things get serious enough that you’re wanting your new guy to meet your kids.

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Not unless it’s serious and you later on down the line want him around your kids

Lmao. Some of these questions on here oh God.

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Your worried about something g that ain’t even official yet.

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He is no longer a part of your life he might be a part of the children’s lives but not yours you don’t owe him any explanation nor should you share it with him the only thing you should do is coparent and discuss the children

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Why have you both not moved on?
Whatever. Look if you are actually done, then you don’t need to tell him till the man is around your kids. If he sees other women and is any sort of man he should(can’t say whether he will but should) do the same.
The simplest advice to anyone separating but with children. Mind your business, unless what he is doing effects the kids, and expect the same from him. Hope that helps

At what point would you want him to tell you about his relationship? That’s your answer.
Although I don’t think it’s any of his business until you’re getting ready to introduce the kids to him.

I wouldn’t tell him until you know it’s a sure thing.

Literally non of hes business

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It’s none of Your Exes business ,Why do you feel the need to worry about this ? if you like some one and I’m sure If you trust the person around your kids That’s all that matters , Do you need to give him approval for anyone he’s been with since You ? Been on both Ends of this situation and My advise is You need to be happy too 🤦

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Many people here do not understand why one should tell their ex-husband about a new relationship. It’s hard to explain the exact meaning of this gesture :confused:, but when people have that kind of courtesy for one another it’s a different kind of people and relationships. Not everyone will understand it. As far as when, whenever you feel it’s the right time. :white_check_mark:

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Y. U. Explain. N. Anything. To. Him

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He’s your ex… just straight tell him if you want him to know :tipping_hand_woman:t3:

I’d start by just letting him know you have someone in your life that’s important to you and let him know it’s a heads up :relaxed:
I’m friends with my ex after working hard to get through out toxic time frame and this means the world.
Good for you trying to be respectful and adult about this!!
:clap::clap::clap:

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Right before you introduce the new person to the children…

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Make checks with you and your new guys picture on it. Send him 2 cents. Kidding.

It’s not his business. That’s part of getting a divorce.

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People are commenting that it isn’t his business it actually is. It becomes his business when you bring the guy around your children. Other than that definitely have fun and see what happens. But I think that whenever you feel it’s right, let him know. Me as a parent, I would want to meet my exes girlfriend but only if he was going to bring her around my child so I knew who’s around my children and I would do the same for him. I think once you know it’s going to get official or more serious definitely tell him! Hope it works out for you & I wish happiness in your new relationship :heart:

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The only concern he should have is if this new guy is somebody good to have around his kids. If you can assure him of that then there shouldn’t be any problems but you need to be real careful about who you introduce into your kids lives.

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Dont! Let him find out by himself :woman_shrugging:

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Everyone out here asking why it’s his business… they have kids together. It’s his business who is around them. Period.

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“I’m talking to someone “knew” and it may possibly lead to a “knew” relationship.” What’s the problem?

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Just go talk to him and tell him.

None of his business

Just remember to protect your children first and utmost it is a different world out there and we don’t know who is who right away. Be very careful.

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