Before you bring him around the kids. It IS your exs business at that point. But maybe bring it up to him in conversation ask when he is going to start seeing someone discuss expectations you both have for the kids ect
Just let him know. Then drop the subject.
Tbh only after you know itâs going to work out with the new man and not to bring the new man around your children until the ex husband gets to meet him first
I donât know why people are laughing. Itâs a genuinely hard thing to do if you guys still have love for each other but âit just isnât rightâ.
Iâd say that 80% of men are full of shit. Date the dude for 3-6 MONTHS before you introduce him to kids or speak of him to the ex. If it doesnât work out you donât feel/look dumb and no wounds were opened too soon. Thatâs my 2 cents.
The kids will handle that.
Why is that your obligation? I mean if you feel the need just come and sayâŚâŚSo I met someone, and I like him a lot. And then see if he asks questions, youâll know once you say that, if you should go on or just leave it there.
For all of you saying it is the exes business, the courts say otherwise. Just keep that in mind. Iâm ALL for mutual respect and love that, but the courts will never do anything unless you can prove the others relationship is actually hurting the kids.
You donât need to advise your ex
If the kids arenât around this guy yet there is no need to tell him.
I think itâs important he know due to having children together. Itâs respectful for one, and I know I would want that respect from my ex. Youâll know when the time is right. You donât have to say anything immediately. Give it some time and see if it is in fact becoming a healthy relationship and someone youâd want to introduce to your kids. If youâre not going to introduce him or have him be around your kids then there is no reason to tell your ex in my opinion.
Believe me he knows. People love to talk and if youâve been seen with this person or even had him or her like a post on your page he knows something is up.
Itâs not his business to know.
Let him know youâre talking to someone new⌠and make sure you respect his opinion when it comes to your children.
No need to
None of his business
If itâs only a possibility ,not yet. Wait until itâs definite.
Just tell him hey Bub thereâs something I want you to know so that itâs not a surprise. I have started seeing someone then tell him a little info about the new meat so that heâs not wondering too hard if heâs a weirdo or something
When you want your kid to meet youâre new person⌠Just allow him to be there so he can meet him too and know whoâs going to be around his kid.
I think before you bring him around your kids. I see women on here complaining about their exes having their new GF around their kids before they meet her and i think its a standard that should go both ways. Introduce them before the new man meets your kids if your ex wants that. You donât have to hang out all day just let them meet for him to have some peace of mind i am sure you would like that courtesy when he has a new GF as well.
I would wait until it becomes a real relationship of at least 6 months.
None of his business. Just keep the kids away until you know itâs real.
Honestly I wouldnt say anything until either you know its serious or you have him around your kids all the time because then the kids will just tell him .
U do not need to tell him . Only tell your kids .
Itâs not his business anymore
I wouldnât tell him until you get to the point of introducing the kids. Then Iâd let him meet the person first before the kids do.
Its only important when the kids are involved. But even then just give him a heads up. You dont need his approval just like he doesnt need yours when he dates
Itâs none of his business, actually.
I wouldnât say anything until you know how serious it is and that you want to introduce this person to your kids. I would only speak to your ex about it then. Your ex has a right to know who is around the children you share together.
It may not be his buissness as some people have said but I just think itâs a level of respect to let him know that youâre seeing someone , I would wait till youâre actually together and make sure you keep the kids away for atleast 6 months good luck in youâre new relationship
Too early. Wait to see if you like the person enough to introduce them to anyone. Even then, wait.
I would wait until itâs time to introduce new guy to the kids. Then i would talk about it with ex before introducing him to the kids to see if heâd like to meet him first. This all depends on yâalls relationship and how you currently coparent though. This would be the suggestion for if yâall are coparenting well and respectfully
He doesnât need to know anything until youâre ready to introduce your children to the new guy. Good on you for being thoughtful of the children during this process and get it guuuurl
Are you on good terms with your ex? If youâre amicable and hoping to keep things that way, what I did was just say to him first âjust letting you know Iâm thinking about maybe starting to date again soonâ. Broke the ice and got it out there for both of us. He was really relieved that I had raised the topic first.
Itâs not really his buisness at all. You only say anything at all at your own discretion. Out of respect if you choose to tell him, Iâd wait till youâve spent enough time together for a legitimate serious relationship up to the point you introduce your children. I wouldnât suggest introducing your children or telling your ex till itâs serious.
This is such a nice question, I wish my ex would of done the same to wonder when to tell me when he started dating again but instead he came to pick our daughter up with his new girlfriendâŚwasted no time bringing her around! AnywayâŚkeep your new beau on the down low until you are serious enough to go public with your relationship your ex husband can kick rocks if he donât like itâŚ
He doesnât need to know.
Itâs got nothing to do with him, as long as u and ur children are happy and safe with this new man and he treats the kiddies well then it doesnât concern him
I told my ex after a few weeks of being with the person I was dating because they were staying at my house. I politely advised him that I was seeing someone in case he saw a vehicle in the driveway when doing pickup/drop off of our child. He did not ask for more details and I didnât divulge anything further.
Itâs none of his business
I disagree that itâs not any of his business. It is, because this man will be around his children a lot and it could eventually lead to this man step parenting his children. So, I think itâs very important that they start out on a good foot. For example, the x and the the new person might be attending birthday parties together or ball games together or any number of things. They need to be friends, if at all possible. I say this from experience. My ex and I attended all of my childrenâs events together even after he remarried and brought his new wife and Iâve never remarried. But, the kids need to see parents and stepparents on the same page and loving them regardless. Actually, I talked to my exâs new wife before they got married and we discussed who was going to take my daughter to dance and who was going to do this and who was going to do that and my feelings about her step-mothering my children. Because, initially it was a bit painful for me that someone else was going to be a part of my childrenâs lives. But, because we worked hard at it itâs never been a problem. We called each other, we discussed things with each other we are civil and caring when weâre together at events or birthday parties or ball games or dance recitals and now that we have grandchildren itâs just as important that we show and United and loving front for them as well. Remember, the children didnât ask for us to be divorced or separated or change up their lives or bring new people into their lives so itâs our responsibility to make it Iâll work in the best interest of the children and grandchildren.
When it becomes serious and you are coparenting you should have an adult conversation!
Until then, your private life is yours!
You donât. Until you know for sure itâs going to lead to something long term and this person will be around your childrenâŚ
Why inform him of a potential relationship. If it was to move into serious relationship then you would want to inform him.
Why would you unless this person would be around your children if you have some.
I donât know why this is even a question. Itâs none of his business.
Donât say anything until you intend on having him around your children
I would keep it private until you plan on introducing your child to your boyfriend, then I think you could tell your ex if yâall have a healthy co parent relationship
I can see how you would want to tell him as you have children together. Iâd wait until I knew it was a serious relationship.
Is your ex your dad? Cuz Iâm not sure why you have to tell him⌠and why you are so nervous about it
You do know what you can âdateâ without involving other people right?
Especially youâre children.
Until it gets âseriousâ⌠just keep it to yourself
In my solution on that be open with y ex. And tell him straight out that y are see some one eles
Heâs your Ex! Just tell him!
I did not inform my ex until it was serious and we were moving in together. And I only did it then because my ex and I had a good relationship.
Wouldnât mention it until youâre wanting him to meet the kids
None of his businessâŚ
You donât need to tell him, just you and your children,to be safe in new relationship,
None of his business
Not his business. Unless heâs a felon then itâs the court and his business. But if not you donât owe him any info
if you got kids around new man then yes you need to tell him if not then no none his business
UmmmâŚits none of his business?
You can tell him after youâve been dating for a year. Itâs really not his business until you decide to introduce new boyfriend to your children. Wait until itâs serious.
Hi Moms
I wrote this piece for the stressed/tired Moms out there.
I just wanted to give back, I hope this helps you!
Tell him on your 5th wedding anniversary.
You donât owe him a explanation. He is your ex husband. Heâll find out eventually when things are getting serious with your partner. They do not need to know about someone youâre not even official with yet and they will always find out anyways on their own when it is official.
Wait until itâs serious enough that you want him to meet the kids. Then talk to him and explain the relationship and work with him on when he is also comfortable with that. As far as a relationship, he doesnât get to say anything about it, but meeting the kids he does, so if it gets serious, he needs to know, just like youâd want to know.
He really doesnât need to know but you donât need to hide either.
Wait until thereâs something to even tell.
It depends how things ended between you two. You do not owe him anything till your kids are involved. But I would personally as a courtesy let him know. To me that would be the decent thing to do if you guys are in good contact.
Unless itâs in the court order custody agreement, Iâd wait until itâs official. Telling him now could cause unnecessary drama
When itâs established and steady. Thereâs too many situationships happening out here nowadays. Iâd wait three to six months to see if it lasts and then if you see something in him you can build a future with and youâre ready to introduce him to your kid then tell your ex. Thereâs ZERO reason to tell your ex unless youâre informing him of a new man that is coming into your sonâs life.
Why do people feel the need to laugh at these questions? This page is about getting advice, why even be on it if youâre going to ridicule people who really want help?
For everyone interest take it slow do not let him or her in your children life until you are answer all the questions you need to if he or should her understand you want to take it slow and give your relationship time to grow paid for a baby sitter when you want to date consider all because if you are asking when is the right time to let your x spouse know that means you have questions about where your relationship is going even being in a relationship for 30 years you never know what you want is with this person good luck any more questions text me hope you understand and donât get offended by what l wrote
If you know itâs serious enough for this person to be coming around repeatedly. This is not to say wait until itâd be time to introduce the kids, but if youâve been on 3-4 dates, and are considering making it an official relationship, I feel like thatâs the time to say âHey, Iâve been on a few dates with this person, I think weâre going to be seeing each other, I just wanted you to know, and we can touch base again before I involve this person in the kidsâ lives.â
You treat him the same way youd like to be treated, if you would like him to tell you at this point of his relationship then you should do the same. Do EXACTLY to him you hope he does with you when he finds someone.
I met my boyfriends daughter pretty early on because he had her during a weekend we were planning to hang out. But after that, I told him I wasnât comfortable being around his daughter until her mom had met me, knew me, and was comfortable having me around her daughter. And I feel like that created a really good sense of trust between me and her. I recommend asking yourself how serious this is and also asking your SO how he feels. Iâve been around for three years now and have watched his daughter grow up. Weâre attached at the hip when she visits and it has a lot to do with how highly her mom and I think of each other!
None of his business until you involve the kids. Then, out of respect let him know youâve been dating a guy for xyz and feel itâs time the kids meet him and if he would like to meet the new guy first.
If the person is going to be around your children, then he needs to meet to the person before being around the kids. The way I see it is it isnât any of his business what you do, until you involve the children. He should be told and meet the person before meeting or being around the children.
I wouldnt say anything yet. Unless you are introducing him to the children, then thats when i would speak to your ex and before your new man met the children X
Tell him for ! Do you need his permission?
I would definitely wait until the new relationship has lasted longer than 6 months before introducing them to the children or broaching the subject with the ex. Then I would just use the same mode of communication that you use for all other subjects that effect the children. Iâm in a steady relationship, weâve been seeing each other for over six months and I will be introduce them to the children
Is he your EX ?? Or on and off?
Ex for 2 years no explanation needed about who youâre dating or what youâre doing
I sent an sms as soon as I knew before someone else told him out of respect, unfortunately he is still telling our children go keep his whatever a âsecretâ
Just do what ever makes you feel better
1st of all letâs address the most important topic, kids not the ex⌠until the relationship is established and moving to a living together, engagement relationship your kids do not need to meet this person. Then at that time you would want to discuss with your ex that thereâs someone, allow them to meet etc THEN he can meet the kids.
Iâd wait until the relationship is established and youâre exclusive, have had the talks about what your expectations of the relationship are, etcetera. Prior to that, if you want to share that youâre dating, Iâd leave it at that, but you donât really have to share anything.
what would u expect from him? Iâd go with that.
personally I didnât tell him anything, as I didnât expect him to tell me anything.
when the kids are in my care thatâs my decision who is around them
and vice versa.
I canât chose who my ex dates, so he canât have a say in who I date.
After youâre married for the second time. Itâs none of his business what you do. None!
Just tell him⌠if the shoe was on the other foot would you want to no ?
Just say it. Be honest. Itâs going to go better if you tell him and not someone else.
Someone âknewâ, looks like he dodged a bullet.
Well you wonât bring a new person into your kids lives until the relationship is established so as not to confuse them so no need to say until then. Itâs none of his business if his kids arenât involved
You donât say anything ti the ex til your in a relationship. Because then your children will be involved and meeting new guy, therefore your ex has the right to know who is around his children. And same goes for your ex and his dating. As long as you have children under the age of 18 the ex has right to know who is in their lives.
So many of you havenât actually read the statement from the original op. If my ex decides to be with someone else I have no control over that, Iâll be happy for her knowing that someone else could possibly do what I couldnt, however introduce a stranger to my son is a whole different situation. I may not be with her any more but I have every right to be involved in who is involved in my sons life. He will always be my priority and Iâm pretty sure my ex respects me enough to at least talk to me and let me meet anyone before they get anywhere near my son
Give it some time and see how it goes, if and when you feel it is serious enough to let him into your childrenâs lives, then you can mention it to your ex. But by no means do you owe him any explanation or say in your life.just make sure of where the relationship is going before you let him meet your children.
And why do you think you owe this man any info about your relationship if youâre divorced?
Itâs none of his business. However, especially with young children, make a pledge that your new person should not be introduced to children for at least six months.
None of his business. May seem to your ex that you are asking for his permission there by affording him some control over your personal life.
Hell, my ex was seeing someone wellbefore our divorce. Mind you it was what caused the divorce, kinda cute, she then said it was me. What a beaosh. Of course she never let the truth get in the way of her wishes and whimes.
When you think its time for the new guy to meet your children then mention it to your ex and ask him if he would like to meet him. They are his children. Then when he is in a relationship he will do the same for youâŚand you will know who your children are withđ