Id refuse to send them- I’d take the potential for contempt. That becomes a big safety issue really quick.
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Where is he getting his money, if he’s always drinking and in jail? Living off of women. That’s too bad , the kids are going to grow up thinking that’s normal - for a man to be. Stay strong. I know how it is to live with a using alcoholic . Always excuses. 
Get a lawyer. At the first court appearance have - a request made for a legal guardian for all of your children, have a request made for psychological evaluations, request child services go to his residence without notice when the children are there. When the oldest is 13 years old, that voice will be listened to by the guardian ad litem, by law will have the right to not go.
I didnt read everything.
But I honestly read enough to tell you you need to keep your kids away from that man until he gets help for his drinking.
Or sadly, hes going to get them hurt or killed with his drinking and driving.
Document everything. Do they have law guardians? They absolutely should and the law Guardian will advocate for your children. Good luck. The system is VERY broken.
Legally with him putting the kids in danger and all you can file a restraining order on him and his gf untill court and certain actions are made, my husband went through this with his ex when it came to domestic issues and kids were always put in the middle, restraining order will also be in the system and wont be looked at lightly on his half, hes putting them in danger with his drinking and driving and his gf is putting them through neglectful physical danger by keeping them out side with no shade, food or water, it’s a bad situation but you wont go to jail for protecting your children CPS would see to that knowing they’re under the age of 18.
I’d research the girlfriend too since she had your children when your ex isn’t there. Do not keep putting your children through this, it’s traumatizing & unsafe. Get your ducks in a row & try to get supervised visitations or better yet sole custody. Alcoholics don’t want supervised visitation, believe me I know from experience.
They need to be in counseling (the counselors can submit info to the court), they need a guardian ad litem, and you need child services involved.
It will take a couple of years for them to put you in jail, you need to protect your babies
Talk to your lawyer. I am in same kind of situation. My ex is an alcoholic and kids hate and yes I mean hate him. My current hubby is now in process of adopting my kids he sat my ex down and said hes crappy dad and he agreed. If that had not happened I’d have gotten myself a lawyer to help me that way I know my kids are safe.
Wait… so he’s already been arrested for a DUI while your son was in the car before?! That will help your case. You should have spoken with an attorney prior to withholding the kids. An emergency restraining order could have been placed, emergency custody orders put into place until the accusations were presented in court. What’s done has been done now though. He is also in contempt of court by not consistently paying child support or picking up the children - if you have that documented that will make it easier to fight him in court since you both aren’t following the court orders.
It sounds like a tough case and without proof that the kids are being mistreated in his care its gonna be rough
Kind of going thru the same thing but not nearly as severe as this. He has a contempt of court case against me for refusing to let them go to Baltimore on his week. The last time he was in Baltimore he was at a game, got drunk and showed out. So bad his girlfriend told him he had to leave when they got home. My 10 year old suffers from anxiety and panic and did not want to go. If I go to jail for contempt, so what? This momma stood up for her babies as I am always having to do. I will smile in my mugshot and rock that jumpsuit!!!
Fight this in court! Put the kids in counseling now! Let the counselor talk to the judge. This is not safe for your kids!
You can’t co-parent with an Alcoholic. That is an extremely dangerous situation for your children both emotionally & physically.
Nah you 100% did the right thing. Let whoever think what they want. This is your kids safety. And that fu*king girlfriend of his would be hearing an earful if I was their mother. 
Get the court system involved on behalf of the kids- ask for a guardian ad litem- they work with and represent the best interests of the child. A court representative for the children. Judges listen to them!!! It removes the he said-she said.
Get a minors counsel for your children. They will speak to the kids and then recommend what’s needed to the judge. Talk to your lawyer about this. These are dangerous practices and definitely not what a parent should be doing which is such a damn shame because there’s great fathers out there begging to see their children and they’re not allowed to. Then you have losers like this one…
The problem is finding the proof, and not looking like a drama queen in front of a judge because I’ve been told they hate that.
Call a welfare check on ur kids when u know they are there …
That’s one way to get proof. My step mom kicked me outta the house when I was lil. Me and my brothers. My mom dropped us off with my dad in AZ for the summer we normally Lived in wyo and my mom was notified that all of her kids were living in the streets. My dad worked and drank after wards…n his wife was so young(no excuse) but just seemed like she hated us … but a welfare check on the kids would go to show the system how they are being treated …
I dont have any advice but my heart goes out to you. I’m going through a similar situation with my daughter’s father. I hope things get resolved for you soon.
If he’s not paying child support like he should why is that not an issue to the lawyers? Also get your kids a cheap phone and have them call your when they can if they’re scared or anything that way you know what’s going on and can call the police.
Unfortunately you will have to stick with the court order, until he gets busted for something and the court order changes
Do you have the capability to hire an investigator? During the next large stretch of visitation, maybe you can have the dad and the girlfriend followed and take photos and videos with time stamps.
It sucks that they will have to go back into the situation to get proof, but that’s the only way I know of to fight the court order.
It sounds like he also needs a breathalyzer put on his car to make it start.
See if you can get a PFA. That is usually granted immediately until proven otherwise
He’d not have my children unsupervised at all.
I’d say have your lawyer take kids in judges chambers your ex-husband lawyer will be allowed back and the judge will video the kids and talk to them himself whatever is said in chambers can’t be repeated to you or your ex and the kids will maybe be listened to that way plus you need to get paperwork everytime hes been in jail and for every driver he has you need to prove all you can and all his drinking walk you kids out to its truck and have Camara on phone on take pics with time and date on photos altho the photos can be thrown out if his lawyer dispute it but at least try to use them
Does he smell like beer when you exchange the kids? You can ask the judge to exchange then at a near by police station. So what you do is if they have go back wait a few minutes after he leaves tell the cops the description of the vehicle let them pull him over. They will call you to get the kids and take him to jail.
You can ask the judge he goes in for consuling and take u.as about alcohol.
My child would not be put in the hands of someone like that
If you have text message ss them and print them out on where he is refusing when you offer
Let that Low Life go, keep your kids away from that Drama, move away, stop chasing that Dead Beat
You are the unfit parent by knowingly allowing your children to go
Tell police, and child services, victim services…they will help
He sounds like a bad father to me.
Alanon has helped me a lot
File for emergency custody
Journal every incident and take it to the judge. Every time
Hire a PI mama. Get some hard evidence.
It’s weird that they still don’t prosecute him. Since oj Simpson thing most.places will let someone drop dv charges, but the state will pick up the charges and press them for you. At any rate take him back to court and push for supervised visitation. There are still police reports even if it didn’t go to court for dv. A good lawyer can make it happen.
How come the kids don’t have their own lawyer ? My friedns lawyer told him to call cps on his soon to be ex which of course opened a case and now she has to go theu mandatory tests… the cps worker will decide if he can see the kids
Send a nanny cam? Get your kids an I watch so they can call if there locked outside and you can record it? Idk this is hard I would be scared for my kids.
Go to court with the evidence and request monitored visitation. You can go back to court anytime for things like this.
File a police report. Get a protection order ASAP. Do not let your kids go back there.
Ask a police officer to met at your house or have pick uos be at the police station and request them to have him blow into the thing to see if he’s been drinkn before he is allowed to drive off with them I’m not sure if Cops are willing to do this but it would be a way of not allowing him to take them while drunk even tho it’s court order if the cop is there and test his bac then you won’t have to let them go
My father lost custody of me and my brother as kids because of DV even though it wasn’t against us we witnessed it and was still considered as put in harm’s way.
And I’m going to be honest in this situation I’d just have a be a snitch because since you know he drinks when he’s driving I’d call the cops or have someone else call after he gets then and tell them you drove by a driver who was drinking give them his license plate and get his ass caught so there’s proof. 
Take him to court. Document everything. Times, places, who what when… .have the kids tell you everything when they come home from his house. If you continue to let them go with him driving there (or anywhere) KNOWING he is drinking and driving, the state can charge you with child endangerment (stupid, I know) get you a lawyer and a good one. Request a Gaurdian ad litem, they will do a thorough investigation. Ask that it be required he has drug and alcohol testing. Ask for full custody. He is a danger to your children, he clearly cares so little about.
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Call CPS again, have them do a visit while he has the kids, file an emergency order from the courts. Petition for supervised visitation. Your children will have their own lawyer.
Get lawyer and get supervised visits. Kids r old enough to say he’s drunk. His record will show it to.
Dani Kinney maybe you can offer some advice
You’re a good momma fuck your baby daddy. Take his ass to court he’s a piece of sh** sorry. You and your kids don’t deserve that crap.
Hire a children’s lawyer. They are there to protect the child from those situations. They would most likely call an emergency hearing and speak on behalf of your children. My ex was the same way and I had to start withholding visits to make him realize I was serious. Good luck
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First of all, your poor kids and poor you… all to familiar with this, just not with their dad. Hugs.
Now, find a good family law attorney, and get them to figure out if there are any witnesses to these things…people who drink bad enough to DV charges constantly and drive while drinking consistently are bound to have pissed off the neighbors somehow, so I’m sure someone would be willing to help. Ask if they saw the kids outside for 8 hours a day or drinking from the water spigot or saw the dad leave with them and have beer in his hand.
Get the kids into therapy. Therapists are pretty good and sorting out what us truth and what is fantasy or defense mechanism. Ask them to testify in court.
See if your attorney can get his other exes to testify. Most judges would be reluctant to send kids with someone who would abuse their significant other. Ask the exes if they have photos of injuries or medical records to back them up.
See if your lawyer can figure out what store your ex buys all his alcohol out (most alcoholics have a favorite). Get a subpeona for their security footage. Have your lawyer get a subpoena for the credit card or bank records from your ex to line up the evidence of how bad his problem is.
Get an attorney who will go the distance, because you shouldn’t be held in contempt for making sure your babies come home safely. Addicts do not stop until they have to stop, so this behavior will not disappear and it will not get better. You have to keep your children out of his custody at any time. Supervised visits with a CASA or guardian ad litem or other court appointed chaperone ONLY. You drive them there. You drive them home. And he doesn’t have a moment to threaten them or take them, because desperate people do really stupid things.
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Oh 
honey, my heart breaks for you!! First off, here is a huge hug. I would have called CPS both times on the days bc u need a paper trail and it documented when they were being neglected and abused by the Gf and father. Drinking & driving w the children is abuse. The last thing you need is their father picking them up and get into an accident. There needs to be communication between u and the children when they at both moms and dads. A cell phone / iPad for both of them or something similar so they can report what is going on so A neutral party like a law guardian or something can help them.
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Can you get them a phone so if they have to go back over and she locks them out teach the one to call 911
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Do u have proof like text messages saying hey come get the kids and he responded no or nothing at all?.. That will help or start those texts now say hey why didnt u come get the kids last summer and why haven’t u helped out with them like ur suppose 2 start documenting every conversation u have with him… record any interaction you guys have with each other down 2 him pulling away from u with ur kids… video that open beer can in his car, have ur 7 year old record them being made to sit outside all day… Do whatever u got 2 do to protect ur babies from ur ex and his gf… if he calls the cops on you for not holding up ur court visitation order the cops are just going 2 try and get u to hand over ur kids they will not arrest etheir of you… Also tell the court theres no reason for him to take the kids 2 weeks straight when he has no one to watch them, tell them ur more then willing to keep them til he gets off work and you will take them every morning before he goes… In my opinion something is severally wrong with the gf and I don’t want to read how some gf attacked her bfs kids… Ask the court for emergency custody because u fear for your children’s lives u will win that emergency custody no problem I just don’t know how long it will last…
Judges are pro men. My ex had 8 outstanding misdemeanors for domestic violence against me. Holding against my will,entrapment, using a weapon and he won full custody because i was a stay at home mom. Cps allowed him to miss 80% of his classes. He was held to a lower standard then me. I called cps for help and got myself in a 2 yr battle to even see my daughter. They used that i didn’t have a job against me and staying married. 23 years married my daughter was 7 and he got her.
I wouldn’t send them, cops won’t take you to jail or get involved, they will tell him to take u back to court. When my ex spanked my son , my son ran away instead of going to his dad’s when the cops brought him home the cop told me that I could actually get in trouble for sending my son back there as a failuar to project regular less of the court order, I stopped sending him 
and my ex knew if he wanted to force my son he would have to drag me back to court bottom line
Get lawyer. Kids in any counsiling. Get the proof this is going on and get them babies safe
Police will not take you to jail or force the kids to go. It is considered a domestic dispute. All they do is try to facilitate. Here anyway… If you state that you are worried for your children’s safety…
Get them in counseling. Counselor can testify on their behalf. Surely a judge would use common sense and see the charges…
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Get a lawyer. Document every thing! I hate you and your children have to go through this
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Can you get a gps tracker for your kids? If the ex and gf drink in the car when they are with them driving why not call 911 and act like a concerned citizen seeing the car weaving etc. And if hes arrested for dui, open container etc that would be your proof for court. I am so sorry your kids and you are having to go through this. Document everything.
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If you can prove he is not safe…you will not be held in contempt. You need to prove it tho. I’d go for supervised visits.
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Go back to court. Keep your kids with you period.
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He is not gonna win this.
Hes already been arrested on DUI charges WITH HIS CHILD IN THE CAR
The court isn’t gonna think your kid is lying when there’s solid proof that its already happened in the past.
If for whatever reason you absolutely have to let them go back, don’t hesitate to call the police department for a welfare check to get yourself some extra footing and take it right back to court. Dont let this pos and his nasty lil gf keep doing this shit to your kids
You need to fight for those kids so they stay safe. Dont worry about how it will look on a record, because if they take your kids to the side and get the same story they cant really be called liars unless you told them to say stuff. As long as you have visual proof you were trying to meet up and talk about it all as well you wont look crazy and they cant say you werent trying to get it resolved and such. There are a whole lot of factors you need to slow down and breathe and see that hey, you have the proof you need to back up your claims, so remember that for your kids sake