A few months ago my mom told me that she got an abortion when I was younger. She felt so bad for doing it but thought she had no other choice. I’m an only child and she thought I’d be upset that she didn’t give me a sibling. I’m not sad as I’ve grown up being the only child and I know no different. The kicker here is the reason for the abortion. She was married to my step father who was not very nice to us. She could not bring another child into this world with him being the father. Knowing how awful he was to us. They finally divorced when I was geez 16 I think. He left her for another woman. How does or would this make you feel?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How would you feel if your mom had an abortion when you were younger?
She did nothing wrong.
I would feel like she felt she made the best choice for her, you, and the possibility of another child.
Your life would have probably sucked if she had another child.
Be loving, supportive and compassionate.
Like it is none of my business unless she need support and comfort.
You’re allowed to feel however you want. Angry, sad, neutral it doesn’t matter. That said, it’s done and sadly nothing either of you can do about it. Just forgive if you feel angry at her and move past. What’s done is done.
I’d feel proud of my mom for doing what she felt was right given the situation.
I’d support my mom and thank her for trusting me enough for telling me that. I would then congratulate her for being strong enough to make the tough decision on her own.
Her body, her choice
I made the same choice for the same reasons & I know my life would be shit if I hadn’t
She did the right thing in my opinion and it shouldn’t make you nor anyone else feel any type of way
It doesn’t and shouldn’t make me feel anything about a decision she thought was best for her at that time. This is my personal opinion, I would have rather my mom have one than to feel stuck raising a baby she didn’t want, with an awful man.
I’m really torn as to which way you’re hoping people lean on this. You really shouldn’t feel any sort of way. Yeah it’s your mom but in reality didn’t involve you. Like, did you want her to give her abuser another victim? That’s what I can’t tell if you want…
I applaud her bravery. She made a hard decision and it benefited her and yourself. She was finally able to escape that man without any ties to him. I would feel proud.
Don’t make her feel bad about it. She did what she felt best. Had she not, she probably would stayed with him and ur life wouldn’t be great
Personally….there are just some things that parents don’t need to tell even their adult children. What’s done is done, you can’t go back and change it….but you are allowed to feel however you need to feel and process it.
There are things I was told about family and myself that I wish had never been told to me as it really messed with my head. It’s taken time to process and deal with the emotions that come with revealing negativity of the past.
My mom aborted twins 3 years before she had me. I feel like they got the better deal.
If she had a child with a bad man she could have ended up with him longer and he could have resented you more for not being his and your life could have taken a spin. Sounds like what she did was best
I think the only thing that would bother me is the fact that she stayed with him as long as she did (but I don’t want you to think that I’m judging her for it…abuse is hard to escape).
I’d be ok with it. I, of course, would wonder about who the little life would be, as I’m sure she does, but I think she did the right thing. It does no one any good to bring a baby into a toxic situation.
Doesn’t matter how pro-life I am. My mom’s business would be just that… HERS. Take the issues to a psychiatrist and figure out why you even think you have any kind of feelings over it
Better than how I found out…my mom was getting a hysterectomy and the skeletons came out for the closet thanks to the doctor. He didn’t know I wasn’t aware….I hated being an only child but when my temper calmed down I realized it was for the best. My step dad at the time when I was younger was a horrible human being.
I’d feel respect for my mom
Her choice if she was abused, etc why would she want to have another child by him
I would be upset that she stuck around with the guy that was horrible to her and you. I completely support her right to choose but you should have been thought of too.
It wouldn’t make me feel any type of way
She is so brave. Having the baby would have amplified the abuse 100%.
Should not bother you it is her body and her choice. She had her reasons and they should be supported!
It’s literally none of your business. Her body. Her life. Her choice. The nerve you have to make this about you is astonishing.
She did what was best for her and there’s really no reason it should effect you one way or another.
I wouldn’t care and you seem not to care either. It was a good reason you said so yourself.
I would be fine with the abortion. It sounds like it was the right choice for her. I would be pissed that my mom took action to keep a second child out of a toxic situation that it sounds like she allowed you to stay in.
It makes her brave to have made a decision she felt was best for her and her family. I think the fact that she told you shows she trusts you. It is not for me or even you to “feel” or judge but merely to be supportive of her decision for her and her choice.
Her life her choice ….
I would support her decision %!! It’s her body and as a woman, she made that hard decision. I’m sure it was not an easy choice for her either. But 100% I would support the decision she made and love her the same. We are all on this journey called life. Sometimes it’s nice to know other people have our backs. We all have our own stories to tell. We all do things the best we know how. Even the hard things. Try to keep an open mind and remember that you were loved and having a sibling would have been nice but try not to hold it over your moms head, she’s human too
It sounds to me like it was a decision your mom regretted since she felt bad for it. Just be supportive.
I wouldn’t have an opinion because it wasn’t my body or my choice. I would not make her feel bad or negative whatsoever.
It would make me feel good knowing if my stepdad was awful to me that she spared another child that life.
I would also be thankful my mom had the right and made the choice to do what was best to allow her to be a better parent. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, especially already having children.
She made a tough decision, admire that strength, admire she knew she didn’t want to bring a baby in the situation she was dealing with at the time. Some women don’t even think about the consequences of bringing a kid into this world and alot of children suffer. It has nothing to do with you, and like someone said above get some therapy to why you feel the need to feel anything about it.
She did what she needed to do and you shouldnt feel bad. Until you walked a mile in her shoes, or any womans, think of how painful of a decision that must have been for her to make.
Maybe I’d wonder but I’d understand esp as I got older. What an awful situation to be in. Abusive marriage, a kid already and then finding out there could be another to be raised in the same situation. Put yourself in her shoes and realize that the choice prob broke her heart to even have to make and don’t try and make her feel bad. What kind of question is this
Is this a fr question? What exactly does her abortion have to do with you and your feelings? She confided in you…I would be supportive
Proud of her for having the strength to make the right choice for her and for you.
Like she made one of many hard choices in her life.
I would feel Proud of my mom for being so brave and sharing something so personal with me
I would support her. Because ultimately it isn’t your business to feel any particular away about her having an abortion. Her reasoning is irrelevant. It’s her body, her choice. Period.
I’m against it for myself but,it sounds like she did what she had to do in order to not let another child be abused and possibly worse for the child.
I think the only issue i would have is she didn’t want to bring another child into the situation, but was perfectly ok with you being in it? They split up because he left her.
Not your uterus, not your place to have an opinion on what she chooses to do
I understand your loss of a sibling. I experienced the same thing. I was confused by her choice as a child. I am 50 and still question her reasons. We talked and it was clearly a situation where it was not going to be viable. Talk to her❤️
Very sad for my mom that she was ever in such a situation, and very proud of her for making the choice that she was believed was right. I’m sorry that she and you had to live with someone who was hurtful, and I hope you are both happy and whole today. Much love.
What’s done is done … You can disagree with her decision and still love her and let it go .
I feel as it’s It’s my moms story not mine n she is survivor n would be thankful that she’s here with me!! She did what she felt was right n I’m not gonna be selfish about it.
Absolutely has nothing to do with you or your opinion.
It’s her choice. I’m sure she did the right thing for herself.
You may not be sad, but I truly believe you do feel some sort of way about this - or else you would not have brought this to ask us our opinions. And to answer your question, my heart would weep for her; it would weep knowing that my mom was put in a situation to have to make one of the toughest decisions a woman would ever have to make. I would not and could not hold it against her for what she believed and knew what was best not only for herself but for the baby. Though my heart would weep, I would also be supportive - after all this time, it was obviously very heavy on her heart and mind to felt the need to talk about it; hold her close and let her know that it’s okay.
It wouldn’t affect me at all. Because it is her body and not mine.
I would feel like it’s none of my business what my mom does with her body.
She did what she felt was her best option at the time.
It was her decision! I support anyones right to decide what’s best for their life
You have the right to any and all feelings you may have. That said, it was your mom’s choice to make and she made it at the time with the best info she had available to her at the time. It is up to you to figure out how you want to navigate this situation.
I commend her choice. I probably would have done the same thing. I’m glad that she finally got free from him. It must have been a hard choice.
She did what was best at the time, and thats all you can do sometimes. An abortion is a very difficult decision I would imagine, and when you become a mother your first instincts is to do what is best even when you first become pregnant. I’ve never had an abortion, but I’ll tell you this right now…if I was pregnant by an abusive husband or was scared that my future child would fall victim to that person, I would do the same or whatever the right decision would be. And honesty, your mother sounds like a beautiful strong mom and I would make sure she knows that. If she kept that baby and the baby was physically abused or killed by him, she would of regretted not getting an abortion in the first place because she would post a lot of blame on herself. She did what was best for her and that baby, and thats what a good mother does. It’s very sad. But this happens more often than you think. Tell her you love her, and make sure she knows she did what she had to do and that you don’t judge her. She must have so much guilt inside, that kills me.
Honestly who cares what all of us feel??? Why do you care about our opinions ?
Honestly, it wouldn’t be my business to feel any sort of way about. But you should definitely be supportive of her regarding it.
Not your womb, not your business. It was her choice.
My mums had 5 abortions, 3 kids
I would be very sad just like I am sad at some of my other family members abortions. Do not judge her though just show love and compassion. Being angry or resentful will not change anything except the relationship with your momma. sending love!
No one else can tell you how you should feel, hun.
It’s really none of your business.
It’s her business n her life. She told you in confidence. She did what she thought was best. I don’t think you need to feel any type of way
I mean,her uterus and choice. Not a darn thing to do with me. I’d hug and love her and carry on
Be proud of your mom. I’m sure she beat herself up about it, but ultimately made the right decision
It’s her choice, I’m sure she made the best decision for herself and you at the time. I wouldn’t be upset with my mom for doing what she felt she needed to. I would have been much more mad to know she made a choice to bring a baby in a very horrible situation. It’s sad that she was put in that position, but nothing gives you the right to feel any sort of way about her. Until you have been in that spot (whether voluntarily or involuntarily, ie. Miscarriages, d&C’s), I am telling you it isn’t an easy choice.
I mean it’s not your business you’ve known no different your whole life & it was your mothers decision… why does it even matter
She made the best choice she could for her situation, and it is what it is. Not trying to sound callous but why does our, or anyone else’s, opinion matter?
Your mother is a strong woman, who clearly raised a beautiful young lady during hardship. Much love and respect to you both
I would be incredibly sad about this. Like the what ifs would probably haunt me from time to time. But I don’t know honestly. And when it comes to being a mother, especially in an incredibly toxic relationship, it’s really hard to make sense of things because not everything is logical. Sounds like a very emotional decision. I wonder how she feels about it today.
I think I’d cry. She’s been through a lot and had to make a tough decision and has come out of it with herself in tact and a toxic man out of her life. But still, she must’ve been struggling and that’s sad to hear.
I didn’t ask to be here
It’s none of our business, and not yours. You forget this conversation and you move on. She did what was best for her and you, and that wasn’t being tied someone who would cause more damage than good, and she wasn’t about to let anyone else feel that pain. Stop questioning and live your life. She’s living hers.
Sounds like a strong momma knowing what is best for her and her situation. As a past domestic abuse victim (I got away!), I totally understand. As for how you feel, nobody has any right to tell you how to feel. I gave one of my children up for adoption because I had just gotten out of prison and was already trying to raise two. I now have another and am living the life I always wanted to give my kids. Sometimes, as mothers, we have to make a very hard choice for the benefit of our children.
Abortion wouldn’t bother me but staying with an abusive man until I was 16 would, especially knowing she didn’t want to bring another child into it but kept me in it
She made a tough decision and the best decision for her . It’s not your place to feel anything about it in my opinion.
It wouldn’t make me feel anything. It wasn’t my decision. It’s not my business.
It would make me feel sad that your mom has been carrying this guilt for so long. She absolutely made the right decision for her at the time & it must have been quite hard to tell you that
It took alot of courage for your mom to tell you that. Respect her choice, and enjoy the relationship with your mom. She is obviously extremely close to you to share something so delicate.
Thankful that she made the best decision for her life. Supportive, understanding, non judgmental….that’s how I would feel
So my mom told me something similar to this and my mom had me at 38 so I can definitely understand her reasoning yes I am curious what it would be like but I have no hard feelings towards her and I honestly have a lot of respect for her and proud of her
I would’ve thought my mom made a hard choice and I would support her. It’s her choice and not my business. The only reason I would be sad is because my mom went through abuse.
It’s her life. You weren’t raising the baby.
It’s the most difficult decision a woman can make so don’t you dare make her feel guilty about making what she believes was the right decision because you grew up without siblings.
I would totally get it. My mom almost aborted me and I wouldn’t blame her. Sometimes people are not meant to be parents or in this case it’s just not at the right time. It was your moms choice and no one else’s.
My egg donor is someone who should have never had children…… so yeah….
I wouldn’t care if my mother had an abortion. She could and should have aborted me
I would be sad but I wouldn’t care bc not my biz what she did
Be proud of your Mum for making such a difficult decision for all the best reasons …hug her tight…
Loved. & Proud of her.
What is done is done. She did what she felt was best at the time, don’t let us mess up your relationship with her. Pray for her if you have faith, but judge not.
I wouldn’t think any less of my mom. It was her choice to make, and she felt like it was the best thing to do in her situation. It’s not our job to judge anyone for what they do with their body.
Incredibly thankful that my mother cared about all of our well being and didn’t have a child with someone who was awful just for the sake of having a baby.
None of your business