How would you feel if your mom had an abortion when you were younger?

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I think what she did is her business and no one should have an opinion on it including her child

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It wouldn’t bother me at all

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I would be glad my mom finally felt okay to talk to me about it and that she felt validated in her decision. It is her right to have made that decision and had nothing to do with you…imagine if that baby had been born and how much more strife there would be ?

Obviously you’re feeling some kinda way about it but I really don’t know why. Not your body really didn’t effect you. At least not in the negative ways it could have.

For all you know you and that half sibling may not have even liked each other or stayed in touch. Me and my half sibling don’t even talk we are just two different people. We were raised together too.

I say this while also knowing my own father left my mother because he didn’t want two kids and I was baby number two when she had a daughter from a previous man…he wanted her to get an abortion and gave her the ultimatum of have the baby and I will leave. I am here. I grew up being told that story But there had been plenty of my life where I really didn’t even want to be here and i wish she had because life prob woulda been way better for her. She died at 42 when I was ten.

Growing up knowing you weren’t wanted and being told you’re a burden on the family that had to raise you isn’t something I would want for anyone.

If she didn’t want the baby I feel like it was better on ALL OF YOU . That she didn’t have the baby. Including the baby

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Honestly, I don’t think that’s your real reason for being upset. You stated that you were pretty much forced to grow up around a man you seem to have mutual unfriendly feelings for. It isn’t the abortion, and you said that yourself. Maybe you could benefit from some therapy, so you don’t have resentment build and shut you off from your mom. It wasn’t the best choice for her to raise you around a mean man, but you’re (hopefully) in a much better place now. Take the time for yourself to talk to a counselor and sort through your feelings and possible trauma. <3

She was weak or felt trapped and unable to break away. As for the other her choice.

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Fine. Her life situation Her body Her decision.

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I think I’d be more confused by the fact that Mom so intently couldn’t bear the thought of having a child with her rotten husband that she aborted a baby…but then she stayed with him and kept her living children that situation for years.

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If he wasn’t good for kids why did she keep him around you until you were 16… thats what I’d be upset about.
She did what was right for her at the time.

It wasn’t about you. She did what she felt was best

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it is what it is. not ur body not ur choice. get over it

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I wouldn’t feel anything about it. She did what she needed to do. It wasn’t about you. It was HER choice so don’t make her feel worse than she probably already does.

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I would be proud of her for telling me. She did what was right at the time. It may have taken a while for her to leave him but she did. Life clearly was hard enough without another child. They are the hardest decisions done will face in their lives and one that may haunt forever. This would’ve Broken her heart but knew there was no other way at that time. Hold her. Tell her you love her and to let go of any guilt she maybe carrying as it’s ok

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It’s your mothers body, that’s her business.

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It’s non if your business so stay in your own lane

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Proud.
I’d be proud that my mum made a decision that was right for her at the time.
Not one single person takes termination lightly and your mother would absolutely not have made that decision if she didn’t feel it was necessary.
I always wanted a younger sibling because my older sibling is a terrible person. So an air of sadness would be there . But absolutely I would have understood the situation wasn’t right for her.

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She should have kept it to herself. There’s no reason you needed to know. She’s trying to ease her own guilt. It’s really none of your business so don’t worry about it.

Honestly it’s a good thing she feels comfortable enough to talk to you which means y’all communication is good and sounds like she still feels bad for it I say support her and just be there she probably needed to vent and you are the only one she can talk to about it I bet she held on to that for a long time

Good for her honestly. She did what was right for her at that time

It’s not your place to feel anything. It’s your place to just love your mom. Her choices and reasons are her own and aren’t up for debate. She trusts and loves you to a point that she feels comfortable sharing that little bit of information with you. It’s not a bad thing to know your parents or understand some of their struggles that they went through. Sometimes it better just to know them. You can really feel whatever you want, but just remember your mom told you because she wanted you to know, not because she wanted your permission, judgement or to make you feel guilty. Just love your mom.

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Proud of her and honored that she told me something that she was obviously keeping to herself for a reason. What a brave, strong woman to make a decision that was obviously hard for her to make. Gratz on such a strong relationship with your mom too. Nice. :two_hearts:

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I don’t believe in abortion unless it’s rape or medical so I would be upset. I’m an only child and always wanted a sibling so I would be so sad.

I would support her. She did what was best for you both. And to anyone asking why she stayed if he was so horrible, you don’t know the situation. You don’t know what he threatened her with. Until you are in that position yourself, you have no idea how you would handle it. It takes alot to leave an abusive situation, and when they do, they’re statistically more likely to be killed by the abusive partner than if they stayed. Moral of the story is don’t judge the person staying, judge the person abusing.

It would make me feel like my mother made the best decision for herself n her kids
Let it go…

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She did what she felt was best at the time. By your own admission, he wasn’t a good stepdad, and by having a baby tp him, in a bad situation, she would be tied to him forever.
Don’t be mad at your mum, I’m sure it was a tough decision, but ultimately the right one for her at the time.

Sorry for your momma she felt that way.

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I’d comfort her as it must be a heartbreaking choice and memory to live with.

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Your mom did EXACTLY what she thought was best for YOU. Your feelings don’t matter. I’m sorry, but they don’t. If and when you’re faced with that choice, you’ll understand where she was coming from. She deserves compassion, not judgment.

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My momma had an abortion at 14. I love her and there’s no judgment from me for that choice.

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It’s none of your fucking business lol just be happy it was not you she aborted. Her body, her choice.

Sympathetic for your mom to have been in such a tough situation, making incredibly hard decisions. You should also feel loved and trusted that she would share something like this with you. It’s ok to feel all the feels too… but be gentle as your mom has had all those feelings and some you will hopefully never experience.

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I mean, why would it make you feel any way?? She did what she had to do in that moment and it’s sad that your stepdad made her feel that way. But it happens and when push comes to shove, a mom has to do what a mom has to do.

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Let it go… you shouldn’t feel any type of way. I’d comfort her and support her just for sharing that information with you.

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How I’d feel has no bearing how anyone else would feel. I could tell you the different emotions I felt while reading this, but what’s done is done.

I’m not sure why she told you this. It definitely isn’t going to benefit you any. Maybe she needed to confess and it made her feel better? At the expense of your own mental well being?

literally her body, her choice.

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My Mom had one shortly after I was born (we discussed it when I was in my 20’s) I am also an only child.
My Mom did what was best for her and her life at the time. She was splitting up with my Dad at the time who had addictions issues, and couldn’t provide for another child…
It always broke my heart to see the grief she carried and the silence she lived with as in the 80’s it was a HUGE deal for a woman to have an abortion.
My Mom has passed away now and my Dad too. I carry no ill feelings towards it and I will ALWAYS be an advocate for choice, Abortion may not be my choice but it doesn’t mean I want to take away the choice from others.

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I would be proud of my mom. If she knew she couldn’t bring another kid into that situation she’s a good women. She knew she needed to focus her energy on you. Make sure you tell her you love her!:sparkling_heart:

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I feel pain for your mother. :broken_heart:
She made a very hard decision based on what she knew.
She wanted to give you the best life possible.

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It’s not yours to feel. It was your mom’s decision and she made it.

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She did what she needed to do not really your business

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This is all in the past. You can discuss and learn from her experiences, but being judgmental does no good for either party.

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Heartbroken for my mothers pain

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I think what’s done is done. Your mom made the choice she thought was best for her at the time. She’s lived with her choice and I hope she found someone who loves and appreciates her. I don’t wish that pain on anyone but I also don’t criticize those who have made that choice.

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It wouldn’t make me feel any kind of way! It is what it is. It’s her body, period!

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It was her decision. I wouldnt feel any kinda way

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My question and I mean no malice but why did your mom feel the need to share that with you? Something’s are better left unsaid.

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It’s not for you to feel, it was her decision and by the sounds of it the right one for her

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Your mom made the best decision for herself at that time. If he wasn’t good to her or you, then I’m sure she thought long and hard about the difficult road she would go down having a child with him. He could harass and stalk her, fight for custody, drag her through the courts & drama…

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I don’t think I would have any feelings about it aside from thankful she feels safe enough to share that with me.

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Initially, I’d be upset because while she didn’t want to bring a child into this world because of how your step father was, but what about you? I would wonder why she let YOU live like that, but couldn’t let another child live like that.

BUT, I would also feel like, if she ever needed/wanted to leave him, there would be no worries of an ugly custody battle. I don’t actually know the legal arrangements you all had with him as far as parental rights goes, being that he was just your step dad, ordinarily, there wouldn’t be legal ties that required any sort of custody battle as far as things with you. I’m not sure if this even makes sense, but I hope you find some peace of mind through all of it and just keep in mind that you are an important human being and absolutely worthy of love.

I’d feel proud of my mother.

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I feel your mothers pain and for whatever reason she chose to trust you with this information be delicate with her. I am a little concerned that it took 16 years to leave an abusive situation that you were in that her other child didn’t deserve to be born into but maybe that’s a conversation for you to have with her.  Unfortunately the abusive man wore your mother down so much that she didn’t realize that she could leave with you and her unborn baby and do it on her own and that makes me so sad. I hope Carmen gets this man in a huge way

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My best friend found out her mom had an abortion when she was young. It was done because her dad ( the father ) didn’t want more responsibility and made her do it. Her parents divorced when she was in 6th grade and now her mom has passed but she still holds a grudge against her father.

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I would feel sad my mom didn’t trust me enough to disclose that information sooner. But your mother did what she thought was necessary. Hug her and tell her you love her. You may not agree with her decision but try to understand her view.

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Good for her for doing what was best for her.

I would feel nothing about it. Not my body, not my choice. :woman_shrugging:t2: it doesn’t ever effect me or my opinion of someone when I learn that they had one at any point in their lives.

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I think it was a very selfless thing she did, it’s not easy bringing a new child into that environment and I’m sorry you had to go through that with her. She probably did it to protect both you and her knowing after the divorce she wouldn’t have any ties with him and would never have to see him again.

You’re mom did what she thought was right at that time in her life

She did the best she could under her circumstances. Hug her tight and thank her for sharing and giving you a good life

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She did what was right for her and that’s perfectly okay.

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She had a decision and she made it.

…you do what you have to, or what you think you have to do, at the time. No easy answers here . Blessings to all.

Her life her decision if wouldn’t told u you’d never knew her business sorry. But her life

I’d be proud that my Mom had the courage and was given the choice to make.

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It was her decision & no one’s business

I would be thankful that my mom had that choice. And I would be gracious in understanding she did what she thought was best.

I wouldn’t personally choose abortion, but I don’t judge anybody… I’ve made my fair share of unfortunate and regrettable choices… nobody is perfect, we as humans were created to make choices and learn from our mistakes

I wouldn’t feel any different but I would love on my mom a little extra. She obviously was in a situation and if she’s still thinking about it I would
just love on her more.

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Whatever you feel is ok.:heart:

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Really no reason for you to feel any way about what she had to do what was best for her at the time.

Your moms body your moms choice!