How would you handle your child telling you they want to be the opposite gender?

My 13 yo told me, she doesn’t feel like girl. So… I decided to have, and love healthy son/ later nonbinary/human, than have dead daughter, and suffer over my decision for no support Who i love the most. It wasn’t easy. But not for me. Hardest part is on my child. I love my child, no her/his/their gender. Stay by your child. Hold his/her/their back. They need you.

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Support your kid! It takes a LOT of bravery to come out and tell your parents that. Let him live the life he chooses if he decides later that its not right for him cross that bridge when you get to it but for now support him. Kids know when they dont feel right in their body. Also find a knowledgeable therapist to help transition. (Not talking about hormones or surgery that mat not even be what he wants)

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I feel like you need to just support your kid and not tell her how to fucking feel. What the fuck.

It baffles me that so many think a 12 year old knows what they want :exploding_head: just love your child unconditionally and explain to them that they’re not done growing. The brain doesn’t even fully developed until mid 20s for goodness sakes.

No child knows what they want nor do they understand how the world really is…!!

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Love has no gender… :purple_heart: Be supportive

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A 12yr old wants one thing one week and hates it the next.God created male and female for a reason.God don’t make mistakes,we make plenty.Love and pray for your child.

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I think I would ask her how she came up with these decisions at such a young age I think many follow the trend … it’s more to every story and it may not be what you wanna hear. Many have been sexually abused some change because of attention. I saw a story where a boy was dressing up as a girl his parent asked him why he said maybe he will get more attention from them . Evidently they were given more attention to his sister. Then I saw a story where a boy was being raped at an early age he kept allowing it because he didn’t want his siblings to go thru what he was… So many different reasons just talk to your child .

Support your child no matter how they feel, not everyone will support them and it’ll be hard on them they need to know that their family is on their side and supports them :100:%

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Be supportive. Telling her to wait to be sure undermines and minimizes her feelings. Most members of the LGBTQ+ community know they are different and feel different when they are younger than 12 they just didn’t have the resources to properly identify or describe what they were feeling. Start small… wardrobe, hair etc. you are her safe place. By embracing and supporting her she will continue to confide in you about how she feels and what she wants… who knows it may change. It may be a tomboy phase or it could be a full blown this is who she is. Just love and support her.

Personally I would support her decision. I would have her back through any commentary,backlash or ugliness she may face. I want a happy, healthy, educated child. No matter if she decides she wants to be(with the exception of like a serial killer or somethin lol).

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Sorry but no. Let them go through the phase and get it over with. Don’t let them do anything that will harm their body. Growing up I always wanted to be a boy acted and dressed like one till I got older. It’s either attention or a phase. Treat them like you normally would. Don’t make her more confused by leading it on.

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Please excuse the term I am going to use but I mean no offence. Growing up between the ages of 10 -13 I was a true Tom boy. While other girls wore pretty dresses and skirts I was in jeans and a t-shirt climbing trees, ridding my bmx etc. While girls in my class were learning to put on makeup I was learning how to ride my bike down stone steps ( first broken bone). The reason I did this was because I saw myself as a plain Jane, a little awkward. I didn’t have many friends so I decided to be different than the girls who bullied me.

What I’m trying to say is maybe she doesn’t identify as male but more towards the idea of what a male represents, tough, strong. She maybe being pushed out by other girls and feels if she were a boy they would include her. As a mum I would sit her down and start by telling her that you love her, that you are proud of her and will always listen and support her. Ask her about school, and after school clubs and listen she may try and tell you something between the lines.
Another thing she will be starting her periods soon ( if not already) it maybe possible they are causing some issues or anxiety. Good luck you’ve got this xx

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This will probably be the unpopular opinion but, I have to wonder is are there really this many trans kids, or is it a form of brainwashing being pushed in their faces everywhere you turn!? Maybe it’s the “cool thing” to do these days as kids. You’re lucky if you leave high school knowing who you are! I’m really doubting most of these kids know for sure at this young of age.

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I would tell them that when they are of age, as of 18, they can make that decision. That’s a big decision that an adult needs to make. Not a child

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I have a 12 year old non binary. I love them and support their journey.

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Give her a hug and tell her you love her no matter what her decision are you cant control what her feeling feels… i have a friend her 3 girls a lesbians one going thru a hormone thingy change the one who going thru a change has her beard n mustache but every since she was lil she allways said she like girls

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Let her cut her hair, dress in clothes she’s comfortable in, and live as a boy…

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I would let her know that you’re there for her no matter what she wants to do if she wants to talk to a therapist or counselor and see if that’s really what she’s feeling tell her you’ll be there for her with that too.

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Maybe do some research together & talk to some people that have gone thru the process… :heart:

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Some of you in here need to go back to before the 60’s when being LGBTQ was a crime considering the way some of you think. It’s 2021, no room for hate.
This is wear i unfollow mama’s uncut.

To the original poster. Get expert advice…not from a group like this. Peace!

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That’s too damn bad. She’s a girl.

Tell her she can be whatever she wants to be. But she needs to wait till she is an adult to make sure of her decision. That age is so confusing. And with the way the world is now it makes it even worse! Support her but also encourage her to wait to know for sure

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I would support her but don’t allow any changes that can’t be undone until she is old enough to do it herself

If thats what my child choose to do I would support them 100% it’s there life they have choices to make

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I’m no help lol my 10 year old decides every other day she would rather be a unicorn lol so :woman_shrugging: I’m over here like I’ll get u a carrot and throw sparkly paint on u for free :rofl:

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My daughter is 10 and told me the same. I told her many people will not support her but I will! That’s all we can do as parents. If you don’t accept this and make them feel like they shouldn’t be this way, the child will hide stuff from you. Be as supportive as possible. Maybe it’s a phase or maybe this is who they really want to be. I didn’t know how to take this either. My daughter wants to be called Mike :woman_shrugging:t2: I said it will take me a longgggg time to address you by that name. I’ve been calling you by your name before you even came into this world lol

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No not old enough to make this kind of decision. Alot of this in news and kids getting confused. I have gay friends most knew at 16 17. Just be supportive next week will probably be something else…

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Just support her. Don’t go get her hormone drugs or surgery but if she wants different clothes hair ETC support it and be happy

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My kid will be 21 tomorrow and wants to boy. She’s had her hair cut like a boy since she was 16 and has been dressing like a boy for years.

With love. No matter what they are your child.

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There is a group I’m in that may be able to help you. It is called Transgender Support Group. Just support him through this. If he opened up to you, that means your’e his safe space and he trusts you. Even if it is just a phase, the best thing you can do is support him no matter what.

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I feel like it’s really hard to tell what’s a phase and what’s not. Kids, especially at that age, are willing to do whatever it takes to fit in and be a part of the “it” crowd. As her parent, it’s your job to support them, but I think that’s a decision that should be made later on in life. Exactly why it’s now illegal for doctors and parents to allow sex changes and hormone treatments to underage kids.

I know this is going to sound crazy but have you asked her if she likes boys or girls? Like has a crush on a boy or girl from school? She might have a crush on a girl who only likes boys and maybe she thinks if she’s a boy then her crush will like her back.
Also I would agree that it’s still a little too soon to be absolutely sure that she wants to be a boy and to give it a couple more years. However letting her dress in clothes she’s comfortable in and maybe a pixie cut might give her confidence or maybe even change her mind about wanting to be a boy. But definitely talk to her about it and try to be understanding and supportive.
My daughter doesn’t really care what she’s wearing so I still get to shop for her clothes and shoes. However she HATES having her hair brushes and fixed so sometimes out of frustration she’ll yell, “I wish I was a boy so I could shave my head and never need it brushed again!” Or “I don’t want hair anymore, I want to have a boys hair cut!” But she only says this when it pertains to her hair specifically.

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Unfortunately its the way of the world they teach it in schools now, to be whatever you wanna be its ok to gay its ok to change your sex shit its even ok to be Korean if your black Or a African if your Chinese this is whats been taught to the generation today, thats it OK to be a unicorn Lmao

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If you have an LGBTQ community where you live, engage with them. The best people to help you with your questions. They are very understanding with your concerns and they will help and support you and your daughter a long the way. They are the best resource for you both. By the way, I would embrace her and support her. The only thing us parents want for our children is to be healthy and happy. That includes being helpful and supportive with who they are. Good luck! I hope it all works out.

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I personally am not a fan of this trans-fad. I think and believe children should be encouraged to love being the gender that is on their birth certificate. I was a tomboy growing up and focused on career but then I grew up and now I am a mom to a little boy. Encourage her to see the good in being a girl and appreciate everything that girls can do. Females have accomplished so much and are stronger than what men can ever be. In history especially ancient cultures women fought in wars and were strong from the mythology of the Amazonian to even in India women were depicted to fight along side men. Let her know even with surgery she will always be a female. You cannot change biological features from dna to bone structure, stamina to agility. No surgery can change that.

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My daughter said the same at 13. She’s now almost 16 and back and forth. I told her to do what her heart desires because no matter what we still love her and her choices :heart::heart::heart:

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Ask her what being a boy means to her. Show her what post op GtoB looks like. Technology has not caught up to make the gentalia look like your average male. Find a transition positive therapist.

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You can reach out to me if you would like. Two years ago my 14 yo daughter started the same transition. It’s been an adventure.

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Start practicing with pronouns now, my 11yr old has decided they want neutral pronouns. There was a little talk of he/him pronouns but they decided that didn’t fit either.
Puberty and hormones contributes to a lot of self-questioning. Just support them the best you can while they move through this

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My friend has a girl but she also wants to be a bit and she he calls himself Lucifer. I think it’s weird but she I mean he has no friends and all he does is status in his room all day. He don’t get out of the house to do anything. He is gaining weight and he calls himself ugly. He had really pretty long hair. He cut it off. So instead of having 3 girls and a boy they have 2 girls and 2 boys. She was hoping it was a phrase that she was going thru but she’s 17 now and he is comfortable with it. So I just told my friend to let him be. Just be there for him. Yes it’s weird. If they are comfortable then just be supportive with the children.

I would ask my child what/why she feels this way. This is a very impressionable age and you want to make sure it’s true feelings and not something that is a “boys are cooler to be” kind of feeling. Go from there. No permanent changes until she is an adult if she still feels that way.

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I always said I wished I was a guy BECAUSE it seems like they get it easy! We carry the child for 9 months, we have periods, have to worry about armpit/ leg hairs, and we’re always with the kids. Guys are lucky, they up and go as they please!

Allsorts Youth Project can offer the best advice x

Have you asked her what about being a boy she wants? Maybe it’s a sport that’s only offered to boys, or maybe there’s a pack of mean girls that are horrid to other girls but nice to the boys. Maybe she likes the more comfortable clothes options, or hobbies that align more with the boys in her class. Maybe she wants a boyish short haircut that is easier to care for and not as hot in the summer. I’d let her make any of those changes and remind her that those are all superficial things that can be easily changed if she decides she doesn’t like it. I wouldn’t do anything permanent like hormone replacement just because she had a thought about being a boy at 12. If she still feels that way at 16, that’s different.

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The world is confusing our children today with all this stuff. Making it to easy for a child to make such an adult life decision. One day they life this and the next, they like that. I am sorry but todays world have gone NUTS!! They are brainwashing these children.

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What happened to telling your kids they can be ANYTHING they want to be?! :wink:

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I would engage her in a compare and contrast of all the reasons why she might want to be a boy vs continue being a girl.

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Let her dress, be called and act however she wishes. The only wrong thing you can do is judge, shame or ignore them. When I was 12 I dyed my hair black and asked for Wiccan themed accessories for Christmas. I was allowed to. I wouldn’t be caught dead in shit like that now! :rofl: This is kids finding themselves. Let them.

I pray my children don’t get confused and caught up in this Trans - Neutral pronoun crap.

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I don’t know if you’ve watched the show “I am jazz” but it’s a great show. It’s about a little boy who realized he wanted to be a girl at 3. I would just be supportive! Maybe get her into counseling as well! I think it’s amazing that you’re asking for advice instead of just turning a cheek at it! :heart:

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When I was younger I always said I wanted to be a boy…cause boys have it easier. If she told you that she IS a boy, like in her heart maybe things need to be done… you should have a heart to heart with them about it.

Have not long been through this with my now ex partners 12yr daughter!! She just blurted it out last Christmas and is a very confused young person she switches between genders and is being Narayan school because of it, she’s 6hrs away from
Her dad and her mother is just not giving her the support she needs, she tried to taker her own life by over dosing on someone else’s medication and the mental health team shrugged it off as attention seeking and sent her home!!

If not dealt with she will end up succeeding in taking her own life because the support system around her is shit, and she’s shutting everyone out

Almost all little girls want to be boys…

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I always wanted to be a boy…not because of sex or who I liked, but because in my family boys had more freedom. We weren’t equal. We traveled a lot and I knew I’d be easier to stand up to pee. My parents wouldn’t let us help dad work on cars or anything because we were girls. Here I am at 30, I drive semis and get my hands dirty all the time. I’ve always been into guys, but I’m am not girly at all and I never have been. I keep hair short, I don’t wear make up, and most people assume I’m a dike. I’m not but I’m definitely a tomboy. Think about that too. Is she treated as equally as the boys?

All kids go through it. Tell her she’s a girl but likes boy things. As in a “tomboy”. It’s horrifying that parents encourage changing “genders”.

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I don’t have experience myself with this, but have been educating myself more on the topic of late. I think the best thing you can do is be accepting and supportive. You want your child to know that they are loved and safe in what they feel. There’s a very real possibility this isn’t a phase and your child feels safe enough to talk to you about it - go you! It shows amazing parenting already. Research is your friend in this. Reach out to different support groups on how to navigate this and do it in a healthy way. If your child wants to dress a bit differently let them. Let them feel comfortable.

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I was born white. I can’t be black

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Personally I am just here to say idk what I would do. Because I know how I feel about it. But I also feel like how at 12 do they fully understand the permanence of that. I am not saying it is right or wrong. But so many things influence our children whether is convos at home amongst family members or convos being had at school etc. how does a 12 year old sit with their feelings and make an adult decision when their brain isn’t fully developed. I think personal I would find a counseling team that we (parents and CHIKD) trust and go from there.

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As a mom of a transgender son… I saw sign when he was younger … but I could tell he was putting on a show for me… Always changing his name (born a girl named Elizabeth) always wanted boy nick names. Played sports. But I would buy the dresses and makeup .and I could he hated it. But was trying to pls me. But when the baby came and he became a parent he at the time identified as none binary. And I could see he wasn’t happy. I would say support your child love your child … make this is what he wants. I told Vin my son to wait till he was older to do the meds and now he is ready for the true change. Look kids are killing themselves. . literally to be accepted and loved. I wish u the best.

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Support! Use the pronouns preferred. Let the child dress in clothes they want. Go to the dr to discuss. Reach out to rainbow youth support groups. Hormone replacement therapy isn’t started straight away. If a binder is wanted to strap breasts get a proper one and learn how to do it correctly. You’ve got this mama

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Let them know that you support them in whatever they choose. Some kids know earlier, some don’t… some are confused and some are influenced by what’s going on around them. It’s hard to tell. But what they do need to know is that you support and love and accept them no matter what

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I was 12 when I told my mom I wanted to be a boy also. She was concerned, but I started puberty that year and was a tomgirl back then. I was upset about starting menstruation, having to wear bras, shaving my legs and underarms, and my mom and sisters plucking my eyebrows. I didn’t mean it, but I did. I don’t want to be a boy, but I wished I didn’t have to go through the process of a young lady’s puberty. I’m a woman now who is straight and very feminine, I needed time. Maybe she’s going through changes? Maybe she’s decided she wants a sex change quite literally. Ask her why and give her time, either way she’s going through a lot and your best option is to support her.

It doesn’t hurt to be supportive if she grows out of it okay cool but if she doesn’t she needs your support! Even if you don’t agree. That age is so sensitive. You don’t want them to feel like they can’t come to you with every thought.

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Just ask her why?
Talk to her about it.

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Have a conversation and make sure you are truly understanding what they feel and how they see themselves. Does she want to dress and live more masculine or does she truly feel like a boy. Either way is completely fine and you should be supportive, but don’t assume what they are thinking from one statement. That can be more damaging if you do not fully understand them.

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I personally would tell them they can do and be whatever they want after they turn 18!! Until then they stay as they r. Best of luck…

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It might be a phase and it might not be. But even if it is you need to support her 100%.

As an LGBT+ person I have seen first hand how damaging it can be when children are not supported by their family.

Please listen to her( support her, educate yourself together.

The fact she’s felt comfortable enough to tell you is incredible.

Some of these comments are disgusting and they don’t deserve to be parents. It’s no surprise that lgbt+ youth are 10x more likely to attempt suicide :woman_shrugging:t3: (and yes I can back that up with statistics)

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I can only tell you what I would do. I would give my child my unconditional love, acceptance, and support.

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I feel genuinely sorry for some of the children who’s parents on commenting on this thread…

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You should be seeking the advice of LGBTQ+ persons about this, if you really are trying to educate yourself and make informed decisions.

A lot of cis persons, especially older generations, are close-minded and ill informed on this topic and will provide disgusting and unsupportive advice, as I can already see.

You need to be accepting and validate their feelings. If you don’t understand, go learn until you do.

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Support support support. Let them pick out their own clothes. If you can, take them shopping. If they want to cut their hair, let them. For so many, that’s what really makes all the different. I know it’s just a hair cut but it can really help. Remember that the world is harsh and cruel, and if you potentially are their only support through this, give it your all as much as you can. :heart::heart::heart:

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Since my children were six I’ve made it very clear with them that I don’t care who they like if they like girls if they like boys if they like girls that want to be boys or boys that want to be girls it doesn’t matter to me and the only thing I care about for their relationships is that there are no secrets and that it’s healthy and safe. I have always kept lines of communication open because I would rather answer some really hard questions with very dark humor then to be completely blindsided or to not know that my child is being victimized. That said… I completely expected my son to come out of the closet he’ll be sixteen in a few days and swears he isn’t going to come out of the closet I’m a little bummed too now LOL. However if either my son or daughter came to me at a young age and wanted to have that conversation with me I would definitely Embrace that conversation and ask them what that feels like for them. I want to know the details of what they are thinking, feeling, etc… because of that gives me the power to help them, support them, advocate for them. It also provides me enough insight to know if this is an actual issue that we need to address in a therapeutic manner or if this is just a passing fancy/whim/peer pressure/etc.
My son actually doesn’t come to me with things like this anymore because he hates all my questions I ask too many questions LOL I explain to him I ask questions so that I can understand. He tells me I ask questions because of a psych degree and I think he’s crazy :rofl:
I explain to him I don’t have a psychology degree I’m a social worker not a psychiatrist, and we are all a little crazy.
Anyway, and the situation I would ask when did you realize that you didn’t feel like you wanted to be a girl/boy anymore?
What is it that you don’t like about being the gender you were born as? What part of being the opposite gender do you think is going to be the best part?
Have you talked to your friends about this? If so, what did they say?
Do you just want to dress/look like a _____ or do you want to physically become a ______?
(If yes) Have you checked out information or resources on what it takes to make that transition?

Yeah I realize that this is a young child however most children have access to the internet so if they’re truly curious about something it’s there for them to see the bad part is they often get a lot of misinformation as well. One of my children believed adamantly and argued with me about how pre-ejaculation is actually the toxic build-up from a man’s body and that’s how it’s released and that if a female gets pregnant from it the baby will be retarded. That was from a 14 year old child and one of the reasons why I try to keep very open communication because I want them to know the truth about sexuality and anything else that they’re curious about.

If the child has not researched the information now would be a good time to bond over the internet and show them from a reputable website all that gender transformation entails. Including the surgical aspect of how to switch sexes. The therapeutic requirements the requirements of living for a certain amount of time as the opposite sex prior to reassignment surgery etc etc.

Knowledge is power and sometimes our children have certain ideas that I think are awesome but when presented with the full aspect of it they change their minds because their heart really wasn’t in it. Either way you’re going to do one of two things by taking this type of parenting on it. You will either figure out that your child doesn’t really want to do that and you don’t really need to be concerned and you’ve just built some open communication or you’re going to find out that your child really does feel they need to have gender reassignment which in that case starting early like this and being a supportive parent you’re less likely to have a child that will commit suicide because as a supportive parent you will get them to the therapist so they can work out whatever things they need to work out be it bullying any kind of gender identity issues the things that they really don’t talk about to others.

I wish you all the best, I hope that no matter what, you are able to fully support and embrace your child regardless of gender/identity.

Gender identity is set in our minds at age 4. Its the gender roles we still have to learn. Get your child on blockers to stop puberty. It will eliminate a lot of problems later and give them a few more years to explore their gender identity. If it is the correct route for them it would also eliminate the need for top surgery later.

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They have puberty blockers. My friend is female to Male, and it would have made his life much easier not going through female puberty, menopause, and Male puberty. From what I read, they’re reversible and as soon as she is older and decides, she can either stop taking the estrogen blocker and go through female puberty. Or she can start testosterone and go through Male puberty. It buys her a few years to allow her to grow and make a full decision. I also reccomend LGBTQIA friendly counseling near you to help her find her identity.

Last suggestion, love her unconditionally.

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Don’t put it off longer…she obviously has questions…
If u don’t talk to her, she’s going to go talk to someone else or in some other form get her info…n figure it all out. Don’t let her do it alone…be there 4 her…for it all… ask her questions to find out what makes her feel or think this way… if it’s too much 4 u…then get her a therapist. Just don’t put it off till yr ready because she obviously wants to talk about it good luck.

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Definitely talk to her and ask why ,my niece says she is 13 and thinks she is gay just bc she thinks girls are pretty, she says she wants to be a boy just so she can cut her hair to not deal with it and not have to wear deodorant thinking they don’t have to keep up with hygiene ,talk with her and get her to understand and make sure she understands and then come to a conclusion and I’m a few year or whatever help her through it all .

God don’t make mistakes

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Good for you Mama that your child trusts you with the most intimate self.
I would say take it slow and steady and provide support however you can… and consult a therapist who works with kids and adults with this specialty.
It wouldn’t hurt for you to contact your local LGBTQ organization for referrals.

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My youngest child has expressed interest that leans non binary and I went and talked to my trans friends, they were a huge help! My son is currently happy being male, but likes to gender bend and we’re very supportive at both my home and his father’s. Being around others who are trans gave him a better grip on understanding his wants and what it means and he’s got open support to communicate any changes.
I’d recommend go make some friends if you don’t already have them, but also there’s supportive LGTBQ YouTube channels that can help you understand better what your role is

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Like I tell my kids, they don’t need to worry about that kind of stuff right now. Let them be kids. I told my son to talk to me when he is grown up enough to understand it completely.

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Tell her she has a vagina and she is a girl

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I would say not to put so much importance on self and image and work on character of being the best kindest person they could be.

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I would first ask her why?

I’d definitely give it more years before doing anything irreversible. If let her dress like a boy if she wants to but omg no medication etc.

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Let her try out the Tom boy look, and undercuts. Let her do the boy things.
My daughter is 11 she dresses like a Tom boy but at times she will dress like a girl. She shoots guns under supervision and gun safty she hunts, she welds, she works on derby cars, and changes oil. She likes lifting weights and exercises n plays hockey on a all girls team. She has not came out yet but I as a over bearing mom go through stuff n found stuff that would point to gender identity. But then again 11 12 13 is a tough age with hormones and brain imbalance. Go with the flow but set boundaries.

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I knew when I was 5 that I was a boy. I’m 50. Time makes no difference.

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Easy, I would support her in whatever decision she makes

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Have you ever questioned her gender? If not, It might be a phase. Just tell her you can be whatever you like to be, just don’t make any permanent decisions until you’re positive. And at 12 there’s no rush to decide

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I feel like 12 is still really young to know for sure that’s what she wants, and if it is later down the road then of course that’s just who she is. Try to let her pick how she wants to dress and how she wants to be addressed, that will hopefully make her feel more comfortable with herself until she’s older and knows who she really is (even though people change all the time which is okay too!) Maybe sit down and have a nice long talk with her about that kind of decision.

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Definitely get to the root of why, and explain how serious of a decision it is. It’s beginning to seem trendy and a lot of young teens are attention seekers whether they are willing to admit it or not and would benefit from just being taught to be comfortable with themselves.

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First find out why, could be she just wants short hair or some other thing not sexually related. At her age it shouldn’t even be a sexual thing grow up a little first

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Join support groups like Transgender Education And Discussion and read through posts. When you’ve better understood what being trans is, let your kid explore their gender. Maybe look into puberty blockers. It gives them time to Not experience puberty yet, so they can decide later if they want to continue to medically transition, or come off of blockers and go through a normal puberty, just a bit later than “normal” which is absolutely not harmful in the long run. Let them be themselves.!!!

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I’d give it a few more years honestly. When I was 12-15, I dressed like a “boy” and wanted to be a boy. So glad it was only a phase. I love being a woman and dressing like a “girl”.

It’s really common to know these things from really early on. I’d definitely try the letting her wear the boy things, haircuts/clothes etc. and if she still feels she is a HE, talk from there. Do not PLEASE do not, tell her hateful things, please love “him” the same way you love her.

12 year olds are barely going through puberty and discovering their new bodies. It’s normal for that age to be confused and feel uncomfortable in their skin. It’s most likely just a phase.

Start with therapy so they can work through it with her. No doctor will prescribe the hormone meds until therapy is done anyway.

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I’m a firm believer in supporting your child in whatever.

However, I’m firm on no hormonal therapies or surgies until they’re 18. That’s a BIG decision. It’s also physical, painful, life changing, etc. I don’t care about anything else, but I want them to be sure before moving on to the next step.

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There’s a possibility that it could be a phase. I would look in to counseling that is probably non religious and see if there might be a reason why. It could be something as simple as she is being bullied, it’s an in thing in school, someone said something to her. If this seems to be out of the blue and not an ongoing thing with her then there could be something that’s happening to her that nobody knows about.

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I would distance her from her current friends and suggest counseling

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