I feel sorry for some of y’alls children…
My daughter is almost 12 and recently thought the same thing. So i just let her know i love her either way but she really needs to think about it. Than she thought she was a lesbian so we had a talk and she realized shes bi sexual. Im sure it will change and if not i love her no matter what.
If this is what she feels at this time, let her be and support her. She may change her mind later. If you don’t support your child, then nobody will. This is a confusing age. Be there for her and stand up for her.
I remember being that young and wanting to be a boy. Mainly because I got along with boys better than girls. With the girls it’s so much drama and the boys are so much cooler and laid back.
I would ask what your child would like from you, what their plans are moving ahead to be happy within themselves and then take action to help. If a 12yo can know they are a girl, they like boys, they dont want to go to a certain party or what color is their favorite, they absolutely can know if they dont feel right, what gender they are attracted to, and they’ve probably spend many hours problem solving their own lives before approaching you about it. Support them!!
I wouldn’t focus on it or bring it up. Just watch her as she gets older. You will know and it may never happen so no point in making it important right now
My cousin was 5, and knew who she wanted to be.
(Speaking as a gay person)
Accept what they say and give her a few months to see how she feels.
Just say you support her and you will talk about it in a few months if she still feels this way.
Dont bring it up ever just let her take the lead(you tell her this)
In a few months if she still feels the same contact the appropriate support services.
I wouldnt wait too long because if she really is trans she probably doesnt want to be going through a girlie puberty and could become depressed
Lgbt+ community centre or something like that should have all your information.
They probably have groups with other parents going through similar that could help you along the way.
I personally would embrace it…
I would welcome any gender expression my kiddo chooses.
I would have most likely said the same thing you said. What you need to think about is the past. Think hard and long. Has she always wanted to be a boy? Did she used to love doing hair and make up? Has she always like boy toys or girl toys more? Favorite colors. You dont need to answer these questions to anyone but yourself. But be honest with yourself. If it’s always been there break through the denial and into acceptance. However. If she always loved pink, Barbie and all things girl, try to see if something else is going on. I went through a phase where I thought I was gay. I not, I’m very very straight. My sister started dressing like a boy and cut her hair off after she was sexually assaulted. My sister did end up being straight too. Love her and support her no matter what.
This question is meant for me to answer.
My daughter, told a therapist, when she was 5 years old, “I’m supposed to be a girl”.
I really didn’t think too much of it.
She has always been “different”. I never knew quite how to describe it.
Her favorite toys were Thomas the Tank Engine and Matchbox Cars. I enrolled her in every sport imaginable (she hated them all).
Where she flourished, was acting, singing and costume design/sewing.
At 12, she told me she was gay. Not a shocker.
I loved and supported her through it all. That’s my job, as her parent.
At 17, she told me she was trans.
Again, I stood by her and helped her navigate what that meant to her.
I did a TON of research and educated myself on the science behind transgender brains. It’s fascinating.
Ever since then, we have taken on every milestone together. Changing her name, presenting female etc.
It hasn’t been easy, but I’m just supposed to “do my job”.
I TOTALLY believe that God sent her to me. I was SUPPOSED to be her mother.
She has taught me more about being a better mother and, more importantly, a better human.
It’s not my job to judge.
It’s my job to love her, to guide her and to support her.
We have since found out that she is intersex. For her, she has almost as much female DNA, as male DNA.
She takes hormones.
She has moved out, on her own, She’s gotten a better job, she is absolutely FLOURISHING!!
She’s kind, empathetic, caring, fierce and stubborn. She is the strongest person I know.
I couldn’t be more proud of the person she is.
Just. Love. Her.
She will figure out the rest.
I wanted to be a boy so bad when I was younger. Like refused to wear girl clothes. Had boy hairstyles. All my friends were boys. I did all the “boy” things. Even got mad at people when they called me a girl. I never had the support. All I can say is just support her. Let her have the hair cuts. Let her wear the clothes. She will have bad days where she is going to get picked on, hold her, love her and tell her she’s awesome no matter what anyone else thinks. It might even just be a phase. If she goes through puberty and still wants to be a boy. Support her. Just support her. Please.
My daughter wanted to be a boy when she was around middle school age. She wore boy clothes, cut her hair short and everything. She’s 20 now and very feminine and finally comfortable in her own skin. Just go with it and tell her that she can make life changing choices once she’s an adult. In the meantime, allow her to wear baggy clothing and cut her hair and express herself in ways she can while safely doing so. Then once she’s an adult she can make up her mind then. Love her through it
I would tell her it is ok I wanted to be a boy when in was young ask why n I judgement and tell her that I changed my mind I wanted to do what boys did it may be phase hang in there if not she will need your support
Start by asking your child what they need from you. Do not dismiss this as them being too young to decide. If in a few years, your child changes their mind, then so be it.
That’s the age my step daughter (used to be step son) said she wanted to be a girl. We rolled with it and let her dress feminine and choose her name. She’s now about to be 17 and is still the same girl. Even tho we are LGBTQ+ ourselves we thought it might be a phase. But knowing the suicide rate of trans people compared to cis people made the decision for us to allow her to express herself easier. Weather your child is just in a phase or that’s how they really feel, let them express themselves.
I thought this when I was younger because as a girl people always think you have to prove yourself. And a man is just taken for their word.
Gender dysphoria is very common, especially among young girls. 90 % grow out of it after their teens.
I wanted to be a boy when I was younger. I also thought I was an Indian because I lived in the woods when I was that age.
Let her dress the part might be a phase might be a life choice. Just be supportive and don’t try to shut out what she is feeling❤️
Wow, there are some low key abu$ive ass parents in here
She can suffer depression,suicidal, loneliness, etc…in the next few years…you just never know. Just let her be who she wants to be and love her.
I wanted to be a boy… heck I still do, they have it so damn easy lol
I was always tomboyish my entire life (almost 38) I think it’s normal for her to say that, I think everyone’s said that at one point in their lives.
I would be accepting and tell them you love them no matter what and start counseling
Most important thing is LET YOUR CHILD EXPRESS THEMSELVES, you encorage them their whole life to be themself and when they do you look away. her life is like a coloring book let her color you stand back and tell them how beautiful of a job they did… you dont have to make any life changing decisions now but let her be comfortable.
Get in touch with others who have had the same situation, so they can help guide you.
Just love her. I agree with all the advice they are giving you. It may be a phase, or it might not. But i believe right now she just needs the love and acceptance.
Be supportive. Tell her that if that’s what she really wants she can start trying little things to help her feel more comfortable. Aka: no dresses. A girl can dress tomboyish and no one thinks twice about it. Let her have a short hair cut. Have open discussion with her about why she feels this way, what makes her feel like she wants to be a boy? Let her know you are there to talk it out with her and be supportive, you just want her to take her time exploring that option.
Let her do what she pleases… the mental game it’s probably playing in her head will be tough! She’s gotta find her way in who she is! She might wanna do that for a little bit or the rest of her life either way love her through it :)))
Should definitely support her and let her express herself. She may change her mind, but if you don’t support her it will push her away and she won’t trust you.
I am sorry but if you have girl parts you are a girl.
I am very open minded, but I don’t understand these teen kids that are saying these kind of things. I swear it’s every kid that I talk to now. Changin g their names to something that is the opposite sex🤦🏻♀️. I feel like most of them are seeing something on their phones that make them second guess their sexuality. If my daughter is really bi or pan or a boy …I will love her anyway. I just let her go about herself and let her be herself. Unconditional love is all they need.
Exactly what u just told her is the right thing too. Everything is getting pushed onto these kids from food,toys & clothes, social media etc. and they can be confused. I would give it a couple years to see if she really wants to change or does she want to give her self time to think about it. And let her know what she will all be changing and doing differently.
I wanted to be a boy when I was 11. I was a major tomboy. Until I got to high school and realised “nup I wanna be a girl”
Your right to be confused mama. Wait a little longer. The way you’ve approached it is perfect. Its best to wait and see if its what she wants through her high school years
Tooo young to know but since everyone is doing it of course they will follow along the trend…just watch and wait til she’s older maybe she’ll stay a girl or she’s serious and will want to change…but now no
Let them express themselves as they see fit. It’s not like hormones or anything would be started until much older so there isn’t anything permanent happening
Just love her. Whoever she decides to be, it’s your job to support and love her or him through it. It’s amazing she feels so comfortable to tell you this at such a young age. You must be doing a good job.
Probably something they learned in school or talked into it by peers. Kids copy and watch adults also.
I wanted to be a boy when I was younger but I think that’s because I lived with my dad and he really wanted one and I didn’t feel as girly as other girls but now I’m 22 and pretty happy with being a woman, it was a phase for me but not for everyone, some kids just know from an early age that they feel trapped in someone else’s body. One of my old best friends is transgender and she looks better than I do and is happy living their best life
My child did this at 11 i also said to wait til your older she didn’t she’s now 15 goes by he dresses and acts like a he. I love her just as much. Do i wish it was different yes but i respect her decision. When i asked her to wait it was 2 years of hell because she thought i hated her. I never made that mistake again.
I think you did the right thing for the time being but make her feel like she is able to talk to you when ever she needs to about things. Be open minded so she does t feel shamed and shut out. Sounds like you have it handled! Support her choice if she decides that’s what she really wants in the future
Just do your best to support them! Also just so you know, doctors won’t let someone under 18 go through a medical transition if that’s what you’re worried about, at most they would give puberty blockers which won’t have a negative impact regardless of if they Change their mind and Identify as a girl.
if they want you to then use he/him pronouns and introduce them as your son. If they want to cut their hair short and dress masculine clothing let them, and help them how you can.
Because here’s the thing, if they change their mind later and were just in a period of questioning their identity and you were supportive throughout that time they’ll remember and thank you for that. But if their feelings don’t change and they had to live an extra 3, 5, however many years as a girl when it’s not who they are, that’s going to have an impact on them and their relationship with you. Even being willing to talk to you about those feelings is a really big deal and if they get shut down, it can be a really big thing.
Similar but different, the first time I came out as bi I was 9 but because I knew my parents didn’t support gay marriage I convinced myself that they would hate me if they knew and didn’t tell them until I was in my late teens because I couldn’t deal with hiding that aspect of myself and was having a lot of anxiety attacks around that. So please just support your kid as best as you can, it’s not like they’re making a life changing decision that can’t be undone of they change their mind. If they find that after a few months of presenting as a boy that their not actually comfortable with that, then it’s not a big deal hair grows back they can use she/her again.
Don’t know where you’re located but the local children’s hospital in mpls, Mn has a pediatric gender health specialty clinic. They offer explanations, resources, social workers, answers to any and all questions. It may be worth looking into to gain some clarity on the situation
Shes a child. She can make that decision when she is old enough. Dont let her do anything she will regret. I thought I wanted things when I was younger and grew up the opposite.
An alive supported child is better than a dead unsupported child.
Something to remember
My granddaughter at 12 said this she now 15 I said wait few years but her mind is made up it is very hard to come to terms with but the only thing is support her and hopefully come out of it it is the fame atm this only started started high school before that she was a good girl no issues etc but if u don’t sport her she do it any way so it’s best be on same page no matter how difficult it is
EXPLAIN to HER ----THERE are LAWS — That she will learn to live by and if she will put as much EFFORT into become’n THE BEST THAT GOD CREATED HER TO BE —She WILL find that LADIES REALLY ARE THE BEST of GOD’S CREATIONS !! GOD just DON’T MAKE MISTAKES !! (as this world today would lead you to BELIEVE !!) YOUNG LADY --GET BUSY LEARNING to BE A LADY !!!
I said God made you a girl and you will be a girl.
I think wanting to be a boy and feeling like a boy are 2 different things. Really probably going through a phase. But just let her express herself the best she can and be supportive
Some patents are allowing children to make these decisions or choices at 3 years old. That is too young to know definitely as they have a lot more emotional psychological development to undergo. 12 is closer but open discussion is never a bad thing. Nothing drastic like medication or surgical interventions should be considered at this age. Also not sure if she has begun menstruating as that too would have to be considered ie hormones etc. Some people ignore their child or teen and others jump in all the way too quick. Slower is better. As long as she knows she will be loved no matter what.
My daughter said the same and I let her cut her hair and dress in boys clothes when she wanted to for her it passed but it doesn’t always.
I was the same way when I younger but I had no one to talk to. I always said that I was going to go by Shawn, I was constantly dressing and acting like boy but when I turned 13/14 I was glad that I never spoke to anyone about it because I was comfortable just the way I was. Talk to her and try to see if she can wait a yr, if she still feels the same way I personally think that you should be by her side and support her otherwise she might resent you for not being there. Best of luck mama
When you’re under 18 and under my roof, there will be none of that bullshit. Once you’re 18, I don’t care if you identify as a frying pan.
I wanted to be a Pirate Wench when I grew up & here I am a chef
Hormone treatment can be damaging too. I would support them but also tell them if they want surgery and hormonal treatment it waits until they are 18.
I suggest working with a counselor who has experience with gender identity! They will get to know your child and help them work through everything and get it figured out!
Just accept it. Your going to make your child feel ashamed of themselves. Be glad your child was secure enough to come and tell you this. But you telling them to wait for a couple of years, is going to make them insecure, ashamed, unloved. And yes, it may pass like some on here have said, but what if it doesn’t?!? There will be lingering resentment underneath the surface.
My son is 11 and goes to a private school and knows nothing about sex or being Gay or being a different kind of sex I think these kid’s are getting brain washed by society You couldn’t pay me to have my child in a public school I’m so proud my child learns about the lord and the Bible.
I wouldn’t shrug it off and I would be supportive. But like you said 12 is pretty young so I wouldn’t absolutely feed into it but more so guide
Nah you don’t tell her that shit
Let her figure it out it’s not up to you nor is it something you’d understand
In my culture around the time of puberty is when the child will tell you who they are. They will go through a ceremony to choose a path so not to walk confused in life. Believe them. Encourage, love and accept. Its their truth.
Doing anything before full development of a person’s mind has matured can cause damage and talk your child into doing studies before deciding on anything medical or drug wise.
As a parent of a transgender kid, love & support is number one, even if you don’t understand. I recommend beginning counseling sooner rather than later. Mental health support from professionals having experience with the trans community is very helpful. They can help determine if medical intervention is the next appropriate step. Honestly, as parents we were afraid that our kid would be pushed into things none of us were ready for, and that was not our experience. Don’t wait a few years, as it is a long process. I’ll be honest, it is a rough journey, but there are amazing support systems out there once you start looking. I highly recommend listening to the Camp Wild Heart podcast for parents of trans kids.
I say let your child live as they like now, so they aren’t confused later. I feel genderless leaning towards more masculine with fleeting moments of “femininity”. I have always felt this way. I don’t feel female most times. I looked at puberty as a holy grail. “Once I get boobs, once I get my period I’ll finally feel like a girl! Like everyone tes me I should!” Boobs came, they are weird. Period came, ok, I bleed, so what? I’m pregnant…am I female, yet? Doesn’t feel like it. I still sit confused and uncomfortable with my gender identity because I was never allowed to explore it. I was trained to act/dress hyper-feminine and it mad my skin crawl. I now wear mostly men’s clothes, except for jeans (won’t fit my hips). When I was thin I was most happy because I was truly androgynous looking. Even shaved my head. I felt at home in that body. I say 12 is exactly the right time for kids to explore what gender means to them. It only leads to strong, self-confident teens and adults. The freedom to be who they are as they evolve in life. As a psych major I can tell you giving kids the freedom to express needs like this will cause no harm. I mean, I’m not saying immediately start HRT. Start with talking, maybe more freedom is clothing choices and go from there. Let your child lead. I assure you they will find their way to their true self if you walk with them.
Support my child no matter what. I would get them counseling because that’s a lot for a kid to process. I also would let them know that hormones and surgery are off the table until they are an adult for safety reasons not because I don’t love or support them in their transition. Now whit her saying she wants to be a boy vs feels like she is a boy then I would talk about the difference between wanting that and feeling in your soul that you are. That way they can reflect on how they truly feel.
I’d be handing that child a Bible. Having her do study sessions with an age appropriate devotional Bible derived from the KJV. We’d ALL be in church. I don’t mean a pew in the alter either. I mean at home, together, we would hold church every night. We’d study and learn and grow as a family as God intended us to. Prayer works. The Bible is handbook to life. He has the answers to all written for all of us to live by. Jesus died to save us. The Bible is there to tell us how to live through Jesus to get to heaven as one of his sheep. May God bless us all.
Just support your child and let them express themself. I agree with the above comments that hormone treatments aren’t good at this age. I wouldn’t allow that until they were 18 but regardless of what you say your child will grow up one day and be whoever they want.
Just ask him what you can do to make him more comfortable in his body.
I told my significant other that we would leave the choice up to them when they get older. Life is confusing as it is. If they want to be a different gender by all means go ahead. I won’t pay for the surgery though. Give them guidance of how to approach is safely and respect all that come across their path.
Let her/ him decide, listen to them, and be proud that you raised a child that is confident and secure enough to tell you who they are.
Support them.
Your child will still be the exact same person they have always been, just with different pronouns and the freedom to be their authentic self.
Love is love. Is this stopping u from loving her/him?
As a child I hated being a girl. For me it was filled with “you can’t do this or that because you’re a girl” among other things and then when I hit puberty I hated being a girl even more. I would dress is baggy clothes but thats because thats what was comfortable for me. I also went through childhood abuse that made me want to hide from the world. I never said anything to anyone about hating being a girl, was considered a tomboy. Now that I am older it still annoys me but I understand that its more out of inconvenience than it was not wanting to be a girl.
Now that I have children of my own, I support them either way. Our oldest had a short “phase” where she liked girls. We had open conversations and eventually it passed. I’m not saying everyone is like that. My point is just support them. See if you can get to why they feel the way they feel. Sometimes its more complicated but they’re young and can’t express why they feel the way they do.
Whatever you do please don’t shame. A dear friend of mine knew from a young age that he was gay. His family was very religious. He turned to drugs and eventually overdosed two years ago. I miss him so much. He was an amazing person and his sexual preference was never an issue with us at school.
Good luck to you
For me I allowed my child to wear boys clothes and go by a male name. I refused any medically altering techniques including binders until he’s over 18 but have allowed him and made sure he felt inclusiveness as the suicide rate of transgendered kids is astronomical and allowing him to be a him was so much better then burying a her. (Before anyone says shit I’ve already buried a child due to suicide)
kids know themselves better than people would imagine. imagine waking up everyday knowing you’re going to grow breasts and get a period when you feel inside your heart that you’re a boy. if you do this now hormone therapy can prevent a female puberty and then they can take the proper course to develop as they wish. there’s a 17 year old Trans woman on tiktok. no male puberty bc her parents supported her wishes and trusted their child. with the proper hormones she grew a womanly figure and breasts just off hormones. she’s had no surgery and doesn’t know if she wants to because she feels whole. she was allowed to grow up expressing herself as needed and feels it might not be necessary. think about how your child feels even if it’s a phase hormones can always be stopped. the moon has many phases but it’s always still the moon. your child will always be your child maybe even blossoming under the right conditions. maybe no hormones for a year or two but let them go clothing shopping for clothes that suit them and call them the name they wish to be called if any different than their own.
To me this is just another one of the devil’s plots to being you down to his level…God is real and he gave us a rulebook to live by maybe people should read it …
Get her in hormone blockers asap. This gives her time , but stops her body going through pubity. Once they are stopped, the body goes back to where is was before they started. It’s so important, stops breasts growing , periods starring, both are a horrific for transgender children to have to go through. My FTM son came to me at 12, now almost 15, my first words were I love you for a million reasons and your gender is not one of them. I don’t know where we go from here , but we will go there together
It would likely be traumatic to tell them to wait.
You could just say ok and then let her explore what she does. It’s doewnt mean she has to do anything drastic right now she may want to use a different name and wear boy clothes. Instead of telling her to wait just let her experiment and support with what she wants to do and then if it actually sticks take it from there. Telling her to wait is already shutting her down and setting up a negative tone and possible feelings of rejection
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How would you handle your child telling you they want to be the opposite gender?
Yes ^ let them be themselves. And talk to a councillor to help them navigate this and congratulations on being a parent that your child feels comfortable opening up to
I agree with chat with school. They should be able to put heaps of support in place for u and child even if it is temporary otherwise just chat about it being a really kool time of discovering your identity in lots of ways and express however you feel comfortable but nothing now need be irreversible.
In every child’s life there comes a time when they need to know that their parent has their back as they face something new and challenging. Figuring out his identity is going to be that time. He needs you to support him, to trust him to find his own answers, and to help him break down the barriers he can’t overcome on his own. Get a good doctor, make sure he has access to the help he needs to get all the information he requires to understand his experiences and make the best decisions for him. More than anything, remind him that you love him and that who he is will always be a source of pride for you no matter who he grows up to be, as long as he is kind, honest and does his best.
I’m actually going through this with my 13 year old, today’s society is pretty accepting and it’s great they’ve came to you to express this. Just roll with it, no expectations etc. The school where my first port of call and they’ve had numerous talks with my child and have helped immensely with the transition. You can support in using the right pro nouns etc, just ask your child what they would like from you to do. If it turned out down the line that that’s not for them then that’s okay too, they’re body they’re choice
Let the child wear what clothes make them feel comfortable for now and if the child would prefer to be called by another name make an effort to call them that and find out what pronouns they want to use and maybe see if they would like to see a counsellor with you so you can decide together with the help of a professional what next steps to take eg: seeing a dr and suppressing female puberty etc. Good luck and congratulations on seeking advice to help your child feel more like themself x
You accept him. Ask him his name and take him shopping for clothes that fit their gender. And then everyone in the family should have some counselling sessions to help all of you understand. At this age any hormones are completely reversible but for now just start small. Your son is going through a lot right now and the fact that he felt he could come to you is encouraging.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How would you handle your child telling you they want to be the opposite gender?
If my daughter told me that I would love and support her however she needed. At that young of a age I wouldn’t allow any medical transition, for health. But I would use boy pronouns and let her dress however she wanted. And if she for some reason changed her mind I would support her in that as well. The world is hell enough without having to worry about your home and parents not loving them for being who they are.
See a therapist who specializes in that. Many transgender kids know when they are very young but don’t admit it to others or themselves for a long time.
I have a non bionary 15yo. To be honest, put them in therapy right now. It helps sooo much and finding out what they need to know about themselves and to come to terms with it. Hormones play a big part and it can be very very confusing to them.
Edit! There could be a lot of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, body dysphoria and gender dysphoria. It takes a huge mental toll on them.
My daughter came to me and my wife and told us she knew she was supposed to be a boy. We had a talk and decided to support her. We all picked a new name and we now have a son named Noah. He is the happiest boy ever!! He’s got more friends at school and is more himself then ever before. We took him clothes shopping and for a haircut. He was 11 when he told us and is getting ready to turn 12. It’s the best decision my wife and I could ever have done is support our child and let them know we stand beside him.
Personally I feel like as long as my kiddo isn’t hurting anyone or themselves they can be whoever they want to I’d help them change their style, use correct pronouns, I’d help them the best I could reasearching it and check into a therapist as well so they have someone to open up to that isn’t me. If you don’t let your kid express who they are, even if it’s just a “phase” or just a “trend” as some people in these comments put it, it’ll create a sneaky child who won’t come to you with their issues for fear of your reaction and being judged. Home should be your safe place
At 12 I fully support picking out your own clothes and style. I wouldn’t push one way or another. My stance will always be if it doesn’t hurt people I will support you.
I am with you 12 is a weird age I think that’s too young to make such a rash decision. I mean as far as everything else is concerned let her wear what she wants to wear. It will either be a phase or that’s truly how she feels. When I was 12 I was so tomboy hated everything girly. But that was a phase now I am a mix I like my nails and make up to be done and like to dress up on occasion but still am not afraid to get down and dirty
My son came to me bawling the first week of 6th grade (he’s now about to be a freshman in high school) because he was freaked out cuz he thought he had a crush on a boy. He was hysterical, and I thought I was going to die by his reaction. When I got him to finally tell me, I literally started laughing and got soooo excited and started talking about shopping, and finally having a gay guy I could be friends with, etc. he had to yell at me to “oh yeah, you…” lol I offered him access to professional help if he wanted it, and other than that left it at “Lets just give this some time to make sure. Don’t DECLARE anything right now til you know for sure and it’s not just a phase.” I still beg him to be gay so we can at least have fun cuz now he won’t date anyone! LOL
If my 12 yo son told me he wanted to be a girl I would listen but tell him he needs to wait a while. That’s a life long decision. My son changes his mind a million times a day about everything. I wouldnt want him to make that choice and then be like oh wait I think I’m supposed to be a boy when he his puberty
Fully support “her” 12 is definitely old enough to make this decision, ask her how long she felt this way and offer to take her shopping to suit her current needs also ask if she’d like to be called by a different name and such! She’ll thank you for it later on even if it is a “stage”
Good job mama! Supporting your child is the biggest impact! I personally feel the same way, maybe just a little young to make the whole change. But like a lot of ladies have said. Let him get a haircut, clothes, and pick what he would like to be called. I have a friend that took his daughter to a plastic surgeon to discuss what they actually do for the reassignment surgery. His daughter decided to wait, simply because there was still doubt. Good luck💙
Support your child and ask them what that means to them. Find out how they want to handle things, ask if they’d like to speak to a therapist who specializes in caring for trans people, and be open and accepting of who they are. If they change their mind later on, give them the freedom to do that as well.
You must have an amazing and honest relationship for them to feel comfortable opening up to you about something so personal and deep. I knew I wasn’t heterosexual by the time I was 9 and that never changed, so they might know exactly what they feel, and they might need time to figure it out too. But just support and honor their thoughts on the matter as much as you can. You’re already doing great if they knew they could tell you openly.
My daughter felt this way as 8. I allowed her to cut off her hair, dress as she felt comfortable and that was that. She even wore a tux in her dads wedding. We never discussed hormones or anything else because I didn’t feel it was appropriate yet. She is now 16, has since grown out her hair and changed her style to a mix between feminine and masculine. She has proudly announced she is bisexual and is happy being herself. I think at this point it’s best to just listen and support in ways that they can change things back if they so choose. Allow your child to pick the clothing style and hair style they want and openly support their choice of pronouns and just avoid medical intervention at this time, I feel that’s best made when they are legally an adult and can make that choice without your signature. But that’s just my opinion, honestly do what’s best for your child and follow your heart.
I would let them explore basically. Let them change up their hair and style, let them ride it out and see how they feels without any medication or hormones yet. I had similar thoughts around the same age but after a while I realized that wasn’t me. I’m very much a female, just bisexual. If they ask to go by a different name, respect it and roll with it. It will help them feel more validated, comfortable with you and help them figure out who they are if they don’t feel they have to hide it from you.