How would you handle your child telling you they want to be the opposite gender?

A 12 year old can’t even wash their behind right let alone decipher what sex they feel they are; media is a hell of a thing……

Let her dress in boys clothes and give herself a boy name for a while. She’s in an experimental stage. There’s nothing wrong with a child figuring out who they are.

Let her dress and be herself. Like you said she’s young. As an adult she can do what she wants. But please support her!

Love her and support her. Ask her how she would like you to support her and how she wants to proceed and have honest conversations with her. Don’t judge her, just talk to her/him. I’ll admit that I’m new to trans, but I’m accepting and learning everyday.

Let the child lead the way & be open & supportive. Nothing at all wrong with kids exploring their gender identities.

You need to shut off all the tv, the social media, and stop allowing that to be pushed onto your child. Her brain doesn’t even understand what she’s saying. Put her in a dress and go play tea party.

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Ask her what she wants to do that is what a boy is and let her.

As a member of the lgbtq community, please put her in appropriate therapy. They will help you child determine what gender that want to be. They will help them think about everything deep down so your child can come out and make the decision on their own. Also if your child tells you they want to be a boy, ask what name they would use. Start using it. Also say he when referring to your child. Even if your child decides later they don’t want to be a boy, at least you still showed your support :purple_heart::rainbow_flag:

I’d say she needs to be older and get a full 100% understanding of what being transgender means and every single process she’d have to endure to get a full on sex change. I think every child thinks about being the opposite gender at some point or at least wonders what it would be like. I know I used to think I wanted to be a boy when I was 14 because I was bullied and told I looked like a boy and not a lot of boys liked me so I thought I might as well be one and I did dress and act like one for a while and I was and still am bisexual so it was hard for me to determine and figure out my sexuality and gender identity. I did come to terms that I identified as my biological gender and that I identified as a bisexual woman by the time I was 16

My 12 year old daughter says the same shit…I just can’t deal

I’m going to add a few screenshots of some groups you can join and ask this question- these groups would be more appropriate:)

Shes 12. She shouldn’t be making that decision.

Let her know its ok to be herself and she is loved no matter what

Embrace them, ask them what they wanna be called and their pronouns and tell them you support them.

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I’d love them the same, regardless :heart:

I wouldn’t entertain it.

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Would be getting them the help they need

How bout of you properly patented your child in the first place they would not be confused! Lol your born one sex girl or boy vagina or penis and you date the opposite sex
No 12 is not old enough 16 to drive and even that is bad 19 to smoke and drink and again ppl do these things by coping there parents.

Listen and support your child. Period. Some of these comments…ugh!

It’s biologically impossible for a mammalian species like humans to change gender…
She can’t be a boy because she has the X chromosome…
Even her skeleton is different from a boy… she has a fallopian tubes and ovaries… at 12 she maybe having her menstrual cycle… you can’t argue with Science…
My own daughter is 12…
She knows that biologically there is no way she could change gender humans can’t do that…you are the gender you are from the moment of conception…
When your husband’s sperm met your egg and the egg got fertilized by your husband’s sperm… you conceived a female child…
So just tell her that it is biologically impossible to be a boy in anyway shape or form… and she needs to just enjoy being a girl…

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Have her talk to a therapist

Melissa Oropeza How would u handle this?

Listen to your child, they’re telling who they are, listen and love them unconditionally

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No no no. Trans kids know their true gender at even younger ages. Please support them in this journey and let them live their life in the gender that feels right for them. They know themselves better than you do. Listen to trans voices on this issue, not cis ones.
Sincerely,
A trans adult.

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I would explain their gender. Let them be gay until they were an adult. And then say do what you want. But let them know they were not smart and suggest just stay gay

You did a great job. Great response.

Don’t listen to kids . They are born by nature , and proven at birth to the sex their genetics activate Once grown into that sex , they can be no other . They respond to what they observe . Don’t encourage them . I wanted to be many things when I was twelve . Being a girl was not one of them, .

I would contact a psychiatrist

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Gender is a social construct. Biological sex is immutable. Read some gender critical literature. Why This Detransitioning UK Woman Sued a Gender Clinic

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And I don’t find it"natural" to be gay. I’m pretty sure there are no “gay animals” in the wild. I think society allows it for goobers that don’t want to go by God’s law. Hermaphidytes maybe a possibility. But if a gay animal is “found in a pack” I’m pretty sure it is shunned and separated as the weak one for other animals to “take care of” not accepted and make a whole new pack that can’t breed.

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Children are extremely malleable and can change their mind on everything. Something that tasty to them yesterday they decide they don’t like the next day. They could watch the same TV show everyday for a year then decide they don’t like it anymore. They could have a favorite musical artist and next week be focused on a different one. This is how kids react when certain things are shoved in their faces on a daily basis. Trans rights, gay rights, LGBT, MAPs, all of it is just a form of brainwashing. Look into China’s 2049 plan and it will all make sense to you

#freemomhugs has resources

With loads of love and support :heart:

It doesn’t matter what they WANT to be. You’re either born a male or a female and that’s just how it is. Why did the world have to go and try to make this gender changing stuff normal. It’s not. To me it’s mental illness. My humble opinion. Without male and female as nature intended, none of us would be here.

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I just want to say, please look up transgender suicide rates. It’s truly disturbing, but it will put into perspective how much being accepted as they are means to a person. There are quite a few comments saying that they would never let THEIR child identify as trans and it’s really disappointing. Some people feel like they’re better off dead because the people who should love them unconditionally disregard a major part of their existence.

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Therapy. Take her to a gender disphoria therapist. Find out the why. Also educate on the gender spectrum including about non binary

Some of these responses are truly sad. This is why suicide rates are so high in the LGBTQ+ community.

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Support them no questions asked!!

Get her a strap on and tell her to wear it for a.month

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Take him for a haircut and new wardrobe, call him by the name he has chosen for himself and ‘he/him’ pronouns and defend him fiercely against anyone who doesn’t. That’s what you do. At bare minimum. Do not make him wait. Trans children who are not accepted for who they are have a vastly higher suicide rate than cis children. Please accept your child for who they are. They’ve told you.

Sometimes they’re not looking for a surgical change they want to just explore what that gender role feels like…let them lead. when they feel not supported you’re in trouble

Support them and help them. If being another gender makes them happy, let them! There is no crime in experimenting with gender just as people do with sexuality.

Before 16 there is a lot you can do that doesnt involve surgery or hormones. Haircuts, hormone blockers, and binders are a good place to start.

you made the right decision no need to rush. let her know she still is young and no need to rush love and support her and shoe her nothings changed. also there an LGTBQ community support fpr teens you can teach out to? this shows how beautiful your relationship is for such a deep conversation. :heart: much love to you both.

Question for the page: is transphobia allowed? Is this a safe place for the LGBTQ+ community? There can’t be much eduction when transphobics are trying to argue. I can tag you in my replies if you want?

Kick them to the curb

wants to be a boy? or is a boy?.. born to the wrong body?

I wanted to be a boy :smiley: grew out of it. Now a proud G’ma of nine​:heart: All the best​:heart:

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She’s a CV child be pa th ient but firm wait.

God doesn’t make mistakes she’s who God made her to be when you want to change your sex your saying your not happy with what God made you to be

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Just because a girl likes boy stuff doesn’t mean she is a boy.
I think people allow thier kids to take hormones or have gender reassignment under 18 should be held accountable.
Shes still a kid. :woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

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Going straight to mom comment hell and fixing to be judged. We are born with either a male or female gene. Get her therapy. We won’t sell cigarettes to anyone under 21 but we letting 12 year olds decide of the want a vagina or a penis. If she decides that she is a boy she needs to have counseling deep research and be of age. Yes I’m a mom, yes I’m a step mom to gay son, yes I would listen to my own advice. This whole world become so sensitive that we forget that these are children

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I’ve heard a lot about the Trevor Project… This site may shed some insight on where to start. Hope this helps. Good luck :heart:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/trevor-support-center/a-guide-to-being-an-ally-to-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth/

He already knows. Stop waiting.

What’s wrong with hey, your gender is just how you are born. It’s not something to change. Being masculine or feminine doesn’t have to be defined by genitals.

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Professional help!!!

Terri Fehr Christina Poitras-Jarvis PLEASE WEIGH IN ON THIS!!!

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I agree with what you told her. She needs to understand kids go through phases. It could just be a phase so don’t allow her to permanently change anything. If it was my kid I’d tell them God made you perfectly the way you’re meant to be. So many people regret gender changing. They end up killing themselves. It is a mental illness. Body dysphoria

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I would tell her I love her and how proud I am of her and give her a huge hug, let her know how loved she is - put your pride aside she needs you

My child had a similar experience 12, they (nonbionary) wanted to become a girl grew its hair use my clothes and wear makeup. I let them do that and one day says “its too much work to be a girl” and I supported any decision they made. It could just be a phase let them try it and be right by their side. Now some days its more masculine and some days more feminine let them try it out

She’s old enough to know what she wants! My daughter is gay and said she wants a sex change and I support her!!

Y’all need to keep technology away from your kids otherwise they wouldn’t even know what the hell any of this crap is yet . :woman_shrugging:t4:

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My 16yo cousin began transitioning to male at 15. I use the new name and male pronouns with no problems. I would support my child if this were the case as well.

I wanted to be a boy at 10. Just because they had more fun. I always played with the boys, played cow boys and indians, wore boy clothing the older I became. At 16 a boy kissed me and I was so happy to be a girl!! Everything changed. I think 12 is a little young to be making a life decision like that. I might take her shopping let her choose her wardrobe, explain to her you back any decision she wants to make but for right now you prefer that she take this time slowly so she can process the changes at a rate that she can feel comfortable. Boys have more fun, it was only common sense for me to want to be one.

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So I’m not a parent yet, but I’ve put a lot of thought into this, because I know this is a very common thing in young children. I have a 6 year old sister and she asks questions about being a boy or girl. Now I have decided that in my household after having kids, should the conversation come up, they will have to be in therapy to figure out if this is something they truly want. There will be NO surgeries until they are 18+, but they can wear whatever type of clothing they want. I will personally take my child to the mall and get them the khakis or button up, the heels and skirts if that is what they want to wear. After taking a psychology course, I’ve seen a lot of kids just confirming into the lgbtq + trans community, nothing against them, but they get so confused about what they want because they are too focused on others.

I would be honored that my child trusted me enough to tell me.
I would be proud that they are reaching out for support.
I would do my best to reach out to local groups for support for both my my child and myself so I don’t invalidate their feelings and can be the best support system that I can be.

You guys must have a great relationship for them to tell you.
Whether the feelings stay or go away, they are there now.
Putting it off May make them feel unsupported, depressed, and maybe unloved.

Definitely wait like you said.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How would you handle your child telling you they want to be the opposite gender?

Support him with non-medical transition. Clothes, hair, pronouns, binders, name, etc. There’s no harm in letting your child explore themselves, sometimes it takes a long time for us humans to figure out who we are, sometimes it doesn’t. Only time will tell.

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She’s 12, just support her. Let home be her safe haven, if she decides she wants to explore it outside of the home then again just support your child! Be there for the tough times that may come and then the good times that will come to your relationship from such support will be worth it. Yes she has plenty of time to change her mind but that also may not happen so just be there :woman_shrugging:t2: if she is going to change her mind it will happen natural she will as they say “grow out of it” either way your child shouldn’t feel they can’t explore themselves, be happy they can confide in you and don’t break that trust, do that and you’ll have a great relationship no matter what! :two_hearts::v:t2:

I will have a hearty discussion with her and come down to her level as possible. I will give her reasons to be proud of her gender as a woman and be comfortable in her own skin and feel confident. She has to know she’s very special and that’s why she was created as a woman. It’s high time we start teaching our kids from the onset that they don’t need to follow some societal norms that are disturbing and against our morals and values.

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I think you have to be open, understanding, and supportive. You can have an open conversation about it. And discuss the why and when of it. It is amazing and wonderful that your kid-o felt safe coming to you. You don’t want to shut that down. I imagine that’s a very scary thing to approach your parent with. And I imagine it’s also scary as a parent. Just love your kid. That’s the most important thing.

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Just be supportive, be her safe space and let her know that she can trust you. This is a really tough age. Have conversations with her about it, this could be just a phase, but if it isn’t, then that’s okay too.

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My daughter on her 8th Birthday came down stairs said she wanted to cut all her hair off and she wanted us to start calling her Andrew… and thats what we did. Today we celebrated her 14th birthday as Madison with hair down to her butt… I think it’s important that we support our children no matter what they choose.

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My mom handled mine very well.
I told her I wanted to be boy cause I dont like girls (wore my older brothers old clothes, acted like him ect) she told me if I was boy who would I like I said boys I like boys. She told me I would have to like girls. I said nope dont like that. I will stay a girl. Granted this was in the 90s. But I am a girl, with 2 kids and a wonderful husband. I was young and just didnt belong in the girly girl things. I found my people and friends. It might be a harsh conversation that my mom and I had especially now idk how she would of handled it.

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Let her explore it safely via clothes, a name, pronouns etc. When she’s 18 she can begin transitioning medically on her own as a responsible, fully aware adult.

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This has been my life with my 14 year old daughter for a little over two years now. We have supported her with everything except for puberty blockers and that’s just because I have reservations about her health. But other than that we have fully supported her. She has been in counseling for over three years and that has really helped all of us with her transition. Embrace your child and support her, boy or girl, still your precious child.

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I think your response to her was pretty on point. Because right now with how the world is, she may see that and think she wants to now but could be a phase. Just be as supportive as possible till she’s 100% sure and go from there

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Make sure to be loving and supportive not matter what direction your heart is pulling you to.
Explain to her that is a big decision and that she needs more time to think about it, until she is completely sure of it and that is not just a trendy transition, its something huge that would change everything for all involved.
Let her tell you how she feels and slowly you guys will get to happy place.
Keeping you and your family in my prayers!

As a parent…I would definitely have a conversation with her and get her into see a therapist as soon as possible. She needs to understand what that entails physically, emotionally and mentally. At 12 years old, her mind is not fully developed to understand and comphrend the life altering decision of changing her gender. I would support her and let her do what she wants regarding hair, dressing and name change but I would not allow her to make those physical changes until she’s 18. At that point she’s a legal adult and can do what she wants.

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Shes 12. It’s the culture shes growing up in. She’ll prob wanna be a unicorn tomorrow. People need to stop feeding so far in to kids just saying random kid shit and start to normalize being fucking normal again.

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I’m having the same issues with my 13. My daughters I think is she’s just trying to find her place. It may be a phase like mine has been but it may not. Sorry I couldn’t add anything helpful besides be there for her

I think it’s normal to be curious. And let’s face it our youth are having transgender/non-binary shoved in their faces. It’s bound to confuse them.
I would have open dialogue and if the feeling continues then I would seek counseling/therapy.

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Tell her you back whatever choice she makes… nvr tell her her she doesn’t know how she feels… not ur job to judge its ur job to stand up for what ever choice she makes

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I would be supportive take and the family to a counselor who specializes in transgender children. This way everyone in the family can be more involved and more in tune with what ways they can be more supportive and ensure everyone is emotionally equipped to deal with any outside factors.

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Tell her that is simply impossible, she is a girl and will always be a girl, god made it so and he doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle,
You can change all the little bits and pieces you want but ultimately you will always be a girl so suck it up!

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For us, they can dress and wear their hair how they please. They’re not getting hormone treatments until they’re 18 but if our boys want to wear pretty clothes and long hair, I’m more than happy to support it

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God has already made that decision. Teach her that gods ways are perfect and for a purpose she has yet to understand.

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Family counseling so you all have an open space to talk about everything and for the support the whole family will need. It takes time to get used to a different name and different pronouns. Name was easier for me, still working on the pronouns. Do not allow other family members to intentionally misgender or dead name your child. It’s important for them to see you stand up for them.

It’s all a process and it’s so important to keep communication open and be supportive and be an advocate for your child.
12 is definitely old enough for them to know, they’ve probably been sitting on it for years afraid of what everyone would think and react.

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I think that is perfect advice. She doesn’t necessarily have to wear dresses or anything but For anything further than that wait till she’s 18 and she can then decide I think there’s too much Of this now being a trend Instead of an actual Biological problem

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Think about what gender means to you, and why does it matter so much if they don’t identify with their birth gender. Learn all you can about what it means to be queer, transgender, gender non-conforming. Watch the documentary on Netflix called ‘Disclosure’. And above all, reassure your child that you love and support them no matter what

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Be supportive. Maybe allow some changes at home first then work from there. Ive never been in those shoes but its got to be hard for people to “come out” and even more difficult for a child as kids can be so mean.

I’ll do whatever I can to make my child feel comfortable in their body except put them on puberty blockers AND they’ll have to wait till they’re 18 for transition surgery. I’ll even help them pay for it if that’s what they really wanted. :heart:

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Me personally I’d have a serious talk and put her in Therapy to make sure she isn’t just wanting to go along with what seems cool. I also wouldn’t put her on any hormones or talk surgeries till she’s of age. Everyone thinks about what the surgeries can do but coming from some who had her puberty stopped and then started again at a young age it can mess your mental up.

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Be supportive, Mabey encourage counselling to ensure this is 100% and include your GP. This will ensure you thats its in their best interest and reassure the child that you are supportive of their choice.

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Tell you child you love and support them no matter what. Talk , talk, talk. This isn’t about you as a parent it’s about your child as a human being. In terms of norms 12 isn’t that young, they could have been experiencing this for years. You need to talk to a professional and so do they whether that’s together or separate. But most of all reassure your child you love them no matter who they decide to be.

I always think how awful it must be to know something isn’t right and to keep it to yourself.

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What is it about being a boy that she likes? I like boy things and I’m a girl- could be as simple as that.

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Be open and supportive if you ever want her/him to come to you with anything again.

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At 12 I feel like they are starting to figure out who they are and you should just help experiment and be supportive because who knows?

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I would find resources to help your child explore their gender fluidity. If they want to dress more masculine, I would let her; if she wanted to use gender neutral pronouns, I would support that; if she wanted puberty blockers, I would talk to specialists in the field. Boston Children’s Hospital has the GEMS program; find something like that local to you.

I would NOT just leave all the decisions in her hands. Puberty is such an erratic time for decision-making, I am not sure just letting her make life-altering decisions is the best choice until she’s a little older.

I was watching something about this on YouTube, maybe try watching some stuff with her? They said something about they need to start treatment before a certain age I’m sure… bless her