How you know when it's time to end a relationship?

Maybe it’s dealing with you ? Anything to soften your drama? Pack it in and do the poor guy a favor

You don’t deserve to be with someone if you can’t support them through mental illness

Everyone is focusing on the anti anxiety medication, but he is also an alcoholic. My husband was an alcoholic for many years. He did the same. He lied to me about him being an alcoholic. And lied about him drinking. I went through so much that I just couldn’t put it all in here. But he drank so much that he would drink more than he ate. He started to have health problems. He had to go to the emergency room several times. The full change came when he had a seizure. The Dr said he was lucky I was there. His liver was enlarged and his liver enzymes were off the charts. The Dr said he couldn’t couldn’t drink anymore or he would die. He went through a 10 day program, but slipped a little. He wound back up in the hospital. It scared him so bad. He truly thought he was gone. He hasn’t touched a drink since. It has been at least 10 years. He has been been a great husband now and it has been great with him. I almost have up. I really did. It was really hard. I do want to mention that when he was going through his withdrawal the Dr gave him anti anxiety medication. It supposedly helps while they are going through the withdrawal symptoms.

He KNOWS you will still be there🤷🏻‍♀️

Does your husband have a disease called alcoholism? addiction?
Do you love him but hate the behavior?
Try Al Anon and before throwing in the towel.

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Once a liar always a liar and that’s an absolute fact. But if you want to stay, y’all need help…now. Don’t keep putting it off, do something now or you’ll find yourself ten more years down the road still in the same situation. The clock is ticking don’t keep wasting time

I wish you the best, I sincerely do. Stay strong :heart::pray:

You are the only one who can make that decision. Go to counseling and pray about it.

Pray to God to Help you. Don’t push him,he needs your love ,kindness… keep telling him how much you love him and want to be there for him ,you are his wife. You do worry about him. A man is moncho. God will help with Love

Mine keeps cheating steady. I can’t let go

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What’s wrong with this page? … I’m not reporting and blocking.

When you are not happy

Don’t waste 10 more years of ur life!! U can’t help someone that doesn’t want help their self! Why should u be suffer from someone else’s choice? And if he is lying about it he don’t want to stop! If he really wanted to keep u and stop he wouldn’t lie about it!

I left my now ex-husband because he was hitting me & my son. I have had alcohol while being on anti anxiety meds & it didn’t hurt me. He is probably embarrassed & thinks you will judge him. Try walking in his shoes for just a min & try to talk to him more. Let him know that you support him even if they wouldn’t be your choices to make.

He has addictions which need addressing first.

Dump the idiot!!! Wtf is wrong with u?!!!

He needs u more than ever now ending the relationship will make his condition worst

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Do you…I know people are giving you a hard time…but he’s a grown man. Drinking with meds is a no no…but yet he doesn’t seem to care.
A
No one knows your relationship like you. Go with gut.
Life is to short for all the BS…married or not

That can be fixed with therapy, and counseling.

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I agree that prescribed meds vs non-prescribed is an important detail, but either way there’s an element of “How are you reacting to things he does in the relationship that makes him feel the need to hide this, either way?” that you should consider. Yes, his lying is a red flag, but if it’s a new behavior, what has changed or built up that brought it on? It takes two.

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I understand the drinking, so have a discussion with him. However, why would you ever fault someone for being in anxiety meds. Maybe he didn’t share it with you because he wasn’t comfortable yet with the idea if medication. I am on some anxiety and depression meds and I can tell you from personal experience I didn’t share it because unfortunately there is still such a stigma attached to them.

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Find out why he doesn’t feel safe to open up to you about his struggles, because that is the real problem here. He probably can’t handle feeling your disapproval or thinks he will lose your love if he shows vulnerability. Please don’t give up on him: this is a communication problem. Every marriage has communication problems, but you can work through them.

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My hubby is going through alot of mental health problems at the moment, it took him a long time to actually talk about what he was feeling! Thankfully we were able to talk to a doctor and get him help, that he obviously needed! I would support him though this, maybe he was afraid to speak about how he is feeling. But hey we’re all different, I couldn’t imagine leaving my hubby right now, even knowing he did not speak up right away. He has been having extreme anxiety and depression and was actually afraid to tell anyone, even his own mother. The alcohol part might be him trying to cope with his feelings. I’d try to get him help!

You’re seriously thinking of throwing 10 years away with your husband over some lies about drinking and medication he’s taking/not taking?? If you have not been cheated on, abused or lied to about real ground breaking things like your partner’s sexuality or your financial stability then you should work on things! Some women wish they were in a position like yours instead of what they are in. What a waste! Go to couples therapy and tell his doctor as well.

First of all Pray Pray Pray, it sounds like he has an addition that is a illness. If he had cancer would you give up. Try AA or other programs. Do you have children and do you still love him . If not hand him over to God and go on your w
ay. My salvation was prayer and commitment married 65 yrs and happy

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You don’t sound happy. YOU need to look out for yourself. Yes, I understand about the vows, but he isn’t living up to his vows either. Do what you have to do to! It’s going to hurt, but if you need to end it, end it. Trust me, he’s not happy either…

If you have tried to help him with his addiction and it hasn’t happened
For YOUR well-being you need to step away. He needs to work on him.
Then after his sobriety see where it goes, for this will depend on how strong your relationship was.

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If u weren’t married, I’d say run, don’t walk ASAP, before you invest more years of your life, but, marriage deserves the utmost effort. Good luck!

I feel your heart already knows it’s time but isn’t ready to accept it. Don’t think of it as throwing away 10 years, think of it as making sure the next 10 can be better. It’s always easy to give this advice when you aren’t the one in the situation, best wishes. You deserve happiness and peace.

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GO NO FURTHER. GET AWAY ASAP. I was married to an addict. 4 kids & 14 years of hell, lies, hard drugs, theft. I tried EVERYTHING, couples counciling, treatment centers, AA, Drug counseling. It took me 3 times leaving to finally get away from him. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. WALK AWAY. He wont quit until he is ready. And maybe it just might be what he needs. Stop taking care of him and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF NOW. U are not the problem. There comes a point in yr life no matter how long uv been with them it will come to ENOUGH Or to late and u end up 6 feet under. Get the fuck away from him and live yr life girl!!!

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Al Anon for you. Counseling for you both. If he won’t go, go alone. You need professional guidance through this. Also quitting certain anti anxiety medications is dangerous and needs medical supervision. This is advice from a therapist. Good luck.

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Enough is when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. NO ONE can decide this for you and stop looking for an answer. You have to make the final decision on your own.

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Sounds like you know the answer to your own question. Then again what is the cause of his anxiety/drinking. Obviously he needs help and if you had enough then you need to walk away, but make sure that he gets the help he needs. Im sure that it willg get worst for him losing his wife.

This is a tough one. It does sound like addiction and he most likely needs a rehab program to help him overcome the addiction.
The alcohol combined with anti-anxiety meds is a very dangerous combination. A support group or private counseling could be helpful for you. But having him admit he has a problem is the first step towards his sobriety. Don’t give up. Maybe see if you can get his closest family members and friends who are willing to have an intervention to try and make him see how much you love him and care about him. And to try and get him to admit to having the problem. Tell him you’re there and will support him, but he has to come clean about what he has been doing. No one wants to be an addict, so never shame him for it. It is, however an illness and he sounds like he really needs help before it gets any worse or someone gets hurt. I wish you the best and hope that maybe this might help, even just a little bit.

When you can’t change it after doing all possible, end it. Not a good environment for children. Why live in misery? A broken home for children is bad & sad, but a broken home you’re trying to hold together is far worse. (Told to me by a priest.)

The drinking i can understand the frustration but not sure what bothers you about the anti anxiety meds? Some people arnt comfortable discussing their mental health and feel embarrassed but hes trying to fix it so thats good isnt it?

Seems like your husband is showing you his worst, (my hard no is cheating and violence), other than that, I would suggest finding some professional help for both of you! Sometimes it is better the “devil” you know? Marriage is hard work, and many sacrifices to be a partner to another human, even when it’s not returned, so personally I would try to help him first, and then consider the marriage, this last year and a half has been tremendously difficult! Please consider that and hoping it all works out for you and your family!

I can see being upset about the alcohol but anti anxiety meds? Maybe he’s taking them so he can stop drinking.

I’d ask myself: what’s more important? The last 10 years or the next ten? You have a responsibility to yourself too. If he won’t go to counseling you go alone. If he won’t change, you walk. It’s that simple.

I had a narcissist and they simply lie so often they don’t know how to be honest.
Sorry RUN!

Run, cause next you’ll be bankrupt. You can’t fix him, only he can when he hits rock bottom.

Hes on anti anxiety meds…means he needs help…go to the doc.

Alanon friends and familes of alcholics. Try it . this program is for to heal yourself.

Get out while you can. Things will never change. Trust me. I know from experience. My daughters dad did 1 year in rehab for alcohol. Got out and 4-5 months later, he got an OWI. Now doing 9 months probation and still drinks while on probation. :roll_eyes: I was with my daughters dad for almost 4 years but I couldn’t take it anymore. He started getting violent after awhile and busted my moms door to her apartment. We couldnt shut or lock it. He punched a hole in the wall shortly before that. Did all that crap in front of our daughter. Things are only gonna get worse. They only change if they WANT to change.

Don’t waste another 10

He needs help try a counselor