Don’t leave her alone with him if that’s how he’s been feeling/acting. It’s a bad idea
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I’d honestly ask your brother in law or someone else that’s good with her to stay with them or check up on them. I think he needs parenting classes and just more time to bond with her. I bottle fed my first so my husband was always able to help when I needed him to but I breastfed my other two and it made him bonding with them a little harder but he still does great. Right now you are her comfort place. She’ll never be comfortable with him like she is with you until he puts in the time and effort.
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Tell him to get over himself the peice of shit
I’m sorry at this stage I wouldn’t risk it maybe once you guys have sat down and talked and figured out the problem maybe but right now with him acting that way I wouldn’t risk the well being of my baby
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Please don’t leave the baby with him 
If at all possible leave her with someone else. There’s so many red flags here. We always see these stories and think it could never happen to me or he would never. But he’s mentally not handling a new baby well and it’s showing. Doesn’t make him a bad guy. He’s allowed to feel frustrated and depressed but he also needs help!
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Have a talk with him, but also idk talk to a doctor to make sure he isn’t going through something similar to post partum. I had a friend, who husband felt everything she felt, it was weird.they both would be morning sick and all that.
Does he have any sort of sensory issues? I have ADHD, OCD and anxiety and as a result sometimes the crying just overwhelms me. Basically because of my mental health issues, my body gets into “fight or flight” response modes over legitimately nothing and I go into full anxiety attacks and get really snappy. I’ve never hurt any of our kids as a result of it, however I have had times where I have handed my kids to my husband and told him to deal with it for awhile. I’ve also put my kids down in a pack and play and went out on our deck to calm myself down and breathe while letting them cry until I could re-approach the situation. It isn’t something that I can help, especially right now because I can’t take medications to help (I’m having heart issues). Propranolol was a HUGE help to me because it stopped my body from constantly jumping to the fight or flight response mode and helped me stay calm and cope with things better. Unfortunately I have bradycardia so I can’t take propranolol anymore until I get my heart issues taken care of. But I’m definitely looking forward to the day I can start taking it again. Until then, my husband is going to have to help more and give me time to calm my brain down when I get overwhelmed and overloaded by things. I will also suggest maybe giving him more “calm time” to bond with baby, like having him help feed her with a bottle, having him hold her after she is fed and changed so she is calm, etc. so that he can bond with her in calm situations and doesn’t only correlate her to stress/being overwhelmed. He can also experience the calm good moments and start building a bond with her to help him cope with the overwhelming moments better. That’s what I did with my husband and he’s now my rock for the times I’m overwhelmed because of not being on my meds.
Okay so, as someone with audio processing issues, and being hoh, keep a few things in mind: babies cry and scream at an extremely high decibel. Some earplugs might help your husband, especially ones that are shooting range grade. That said, if he’s not apologizing for dehumanizing your baby, and not helping in any other way, that’s an enormous red flag!
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The truth is men Are bored with babies. They don’t do anything and they can be pretty boring at the start. Don’t get me wrong some men instantly click and I was blessed to have that with my child and husband (ivf baby tho). Once the baby starts playing and doing more he will fall in love with her more and more each day. Give it time and encourage him without too much pressure. They don’t grow and birth babies like we do, so sometimes that connection takes a little longer. I’m sorry your going through this and I hope it improves but just give it a few more months. If nothing changes then it’s time to seriously think about your situation. Good luck x
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Men can get depressed after baby arrives as well.
Talk to him. Play as a group then leave and come back every few minutes. Baby is more bonded to you and that might make him feel jealous. My husband finally admitted that he was a little jealous and upset when our son would cry with him. But i breastfed so I was our sons comfort.
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I would NOT leave the baby with him while you have this procedure. Whats he going to do when she cries and you aren’t there. Please DO NOT leave your baby alone with him EVER…
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Would you leave your child with a friend who referred to him/her as a thing? No. You would assume they don’t like your kid and not trust that they would take care of them properly. Just because he reproduced does not qualify him and I would definitely be worried about his behavior. He cannot handle the baby crying… they will be neglected when you aren’t there or he could definitely explode and take it out on the baby to get her to shut up. This could get way worse too if you leave her with him. These are all signs. My heart hurts just thinking about that poor baby staying in this mans care.
Do not leave the baby with him. Find someone else to help you during that time with the baby, I am afraid he might harm her because he doesn’t seem to have patience
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I would most definitely find a babysitter for your child!! I would NOT leave my child with their father if that’s how he acted! Who knows what could happen when the baby doesnt stop crying and no one there!! Idk girl I hate this for you! This is such an important stage and he should be bonding with that baby!!! Not calling it a thing! 
im so sorry your faced with this, but it would definitely worry me too.
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Maybe he has the baby blues. Not many people like to talk about it but men get it also. I’d talk to him about it as maybe he needs help. For the time being don’t leave him alone with her
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A baby is so precious he should be very happy to hold the baby. I love holding babies and playing with them its not hard to get them to stop crying im a man and children are so precious my world is all about my 3 granddaughters. Hopefully he will change are you may have to move on with your life without him sending you many prayers 
Dont leave the baby with him arrange a family member or maybe ask your brother in law to come over to help . It not be fair to you that he is not ready ( fit) to care for his own child but her vary life may depend on it . Beyond that is your brother in law his brother or from his family? If so talk with him abt your situation.
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I’d tell him to grow the hell up and bond with his child! My husband doesn’t like the baby stage ( because he’s scared of hurting them since they are so small and he’s so big) but he holds them, loves them, changes and feeds them. I wouldn’t leave him alone with her but definitely tell him to grow up.
I would definitely be concerned. While he may be a good dad I worked in victim services too long and people snap. I would try to get some help for him.
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I wouldnt leave baby at home with him
The kind of stress he is feeling about her crying is what leads to shake a baby syndrome. Youd think he wouldnt but i can happen.
Find someone to come be with her. Please
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I’d be worried he would hurt or kill her it happens to people we would never imagine could do it and he is already showing disconnect snd anger
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Wow sorry that’s happening to you. I think a lot of men cant handle it well. Men and women are very different.
Some men are definitely worse than others though.
Maybe hes suffering from a bit of depression?
By the sounds of it id be really worried about leaving the baby with him. Especially if shes never been away from you.
Shes going to cry
And sounds like he may be near a breaking point and thats when.shaken baby syndrome etc. Happens.
Its something we cant imagine doing but its real and it happens and sadly its the father a lot of times .
Is anyone else able to watch her? Possibly a relative that can come and stay with him ?
That sucks you have to feel this way and have no help. Trust your gut 
keep that baby safe!!!
My husband freaked when our new baby cried. At about 6 months when they start to show some personality and aren’t so breakable he warmed up.
I wouldn’t leave her alone with him from personal experience my daughters father acted the same with her and she was attached to me and he hated that but long story short she ended up with a broken femur at 4 months old in his care with no explanation of what had happened it was devastating to say the least:expressionless:
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My first question is was he excited or glad to be a father? Or was this a surprise he wasn’t thrilled about. If the baby is months old and he hasn’t tried to joined in to bond my dear I think you have a problem. Im sorry but beast feeding or not a father will bond no matter what. My daughter in law nursed but I can you my son was up tending and bonding with his son from the minute he was born. I think you better set and and accept hes not going to be a father to help. I wish you luck
You need to tell him ahead of time you can lift her… he’ll have to take work off…
just maybe with no job & a family, he just might be depressed…just a thought, If he was excited when you got pregnant & he’s acting like this, he is depressed
My husband doesn’t particularly “enjoy” the newborn stage until about 7-9 months but he’s never said some of the things your husband has said. I personally wouldn’t leave him alone with her as he kind of seems like a loose canon as far as that goes. Have a family member come help.
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So your gunna leave her knowing he gets “set off” by her crying. I wouldn’t honestly if its that bad.
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He needs to see a doctor father’s can get PND aswell. I wouldn’t be leaving her with him. I would find a babysitter or family to watch her
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Sounds like he could be depressed
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The whole calling her a thing and it is very disturbing. Like I’ve said it about mine but ALWAYS very clearly jokingly. If he doesn’t see her as an actual human being, but as a thing, well that’s just like 7 red flags alone
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Don’t leave the baby with him alone. No way
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I wouldn’t leave your baby with him I know that
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Y’all need therapy. Something is wrong and I truly don’t mean that flippantly. You need outside help for this issue.
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Wouldn’t leave my baby with him.
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It’s extremely concerning that he called your child “the thing”. I would not leave her with him. My opinion.
Do not leave the baby with him!!
I would not leave the baby with him, better to be safe than sorry! Also, some men are a little jealous of babies, they get all mom’s attention and time. Definitely talk to him about it and get help for him.
Wow scary! I would not leave my newborn with somebody who is that angry and unstable and potentially put my babies life at risk I’d take that baby and leave his ass
Amber Williams I was thinking the same thing
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Oh my god. People just because he’s triggered isn’t a reason to not leave the baby with him. Doesn’t mean he would hurt his child Jesus.
Talk to him find out why and what can you do together to help him through it. He’s got a lot of years of crying to go through. If he has snapped at baby yeah don’t leave them alone but damn give him the chance!!!
I wouldn’t leave her alone with him. Especially since it sounds like he’s never even bottle fed her before. Start giving her milk in bottles and show another caregiver how ie: a friend or other family member
Do NOT leave your baby with him. Ask a family member
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I read somewhere that men also stuff from parental depression, rather than force the baby on him, include him in your playtime with the baby. He is just scared and he feels angry when he can’t figure out the baby.also not working might be bothering him. Table the issue with baby steps. Ask him to give her a bottle or change her diaper together baby steps. Trust needs to be built between father and child and your daughter only knows u so she will trust u introducing him and playing together
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I tell him help or leave . I wouldn’t leave baby alone with him
I agree, please don’t leave the baby alone with him, EVER. He clearly doesn’t handle her well and that could be dangerous if he feels too overwhelmed. I’d definitely talk to him about it or with a professional to get to the root of his issues and hopefully resolve them. Otherwise, it just doesn’t seem like a safe place for baby. (With him)
Young one your child feels the love and bond with you - your baby feels uncertainty, and lack of bond with him. His reaction -well - he has to work at it. Kiddo becoming a parent for the first time isn’t easy - this is true- but patience, communication and understanding each other’s feelings is a start. Try sitting together, then work on both holding the baby at same time . Remember too -you are breastfeeding - you should pump and allow him to feed your baby too. This will help develop that bond.
I would not be leaving that baby with him alone. He could resent you if ahe wasn’t a planned addition, he could have very low tolerance and shouldn’t be in charge of care without someone with him or he could be depressed and resenting the baby bc she takes so much of your time.
Don’t leave her with him!!! Are u effin nuts?! 
He’s already irritated with her, she can also feel that tension with him. Big fat red flags right in your face. He’s obviously got serious issues. U gotta do something here, babe. Get rid of him, or get him some help.
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Don’t let your baby with him alone!!!
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Yes DONT LEAVE HER WITH HIM ALONE OR EVEN TO TAKE A SHOWER HE MIGHT HURT HER and yes be very CONCERN
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Men can suffer from PND as well and this very much sounds like it could be the case. If you know him and he wouldn’t be open to getting the help he needs start with spending time with the two of you together and the little one and encourage bonding through no device time and doing things together like tummy time and both you and dad on the floor looking at bubs. Pose questions such as, aren’t we so lucky we have a healthy baby? Look at her xxx she definitely gets that from you don’t you think? What do you think they will be like when they get older?
Bonding time with bubs in a controlled and safe environment is what is needed and some professional help to get to the route of his feelings towards bubs.
Goodluck and best wishes
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He knows you will pay more attention to the baby if she is crying. Is he jealous of the attention you give her? Also, I would find someone else to watch the baby on the day of the procedure.
Please take her to a trusted friend, the sweet uncle, or grandparents instead. This is how babies end up getting shaken. Go to family counseling, send him to independent counseling. Talk to your family doctor, contact social services, whatever it takes to ensure he is NEVER alone with her. Even if you leave, without documentation he will get unsupervised visitation and could hurt or kill her without intending to.
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I agree please dont leave baby alone with him ask a family member
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He needs to seek help . Please find childcare if you need some support and rest I would really be worried leaving him alone with your baby. Too many horror stories of babies being shaken💔 I hope your ok too you sound like you have a lot on your plate xx
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Honestly if I had a husband who was easily triggered by a baby crying to where it made him angry I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving the baby alone with him he could lose his temper or anything while the child is in his careMaybe y’all can go to a therapist to see why he’s getting angry at having to be a father
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Huge red flag. I would not want to leave my child alone with him
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Please do not leave the baby with him! If you have trust worthy close friends or family call them for help. Your husband sounds depressed and if he is so easily set off it could be disastrous. If he gets too overwhelmed, there is a possibility he could shake the baby. I don’t mean to upset you by saying that however many times it’s someone who is overwhelmed and stressed. Please do not leave the baby with him, without someone to help him. Not only will you feel peace of mind, but he may feel more comfortable having someone to help him since it is not usually him taking care of the baby.
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Get him to have a word with his doc maby bit postnatal depression? Also try get him someone to help and hang out with when he has to watch her alone just to help take some pressure off. Some dads find it hard to pick up on babys cues. They don’t understand what baby wants they get frustrated and end up angry. If not maby hes just a d**khead how long have yous been together??
All I can think of is shaken baby, he will hurt the bsby, possibly even kill her!
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He’s no man… drop him
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Hes crazy and lazy. I see a divorce on the way
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For the love of God. I was 17 when i had my baby and it was basically the same thing except the daddy had a bond. I had post partum depression really bad. Dads can get it too. Yall are really making me sad saying “never leave the baby with him” HE’S THE DAD. He needs to learn. He cant just not have the baby ever.
My advice to you, is start small. Have your partner right beside you when youre doing tasks, talk about it, even if he seems hes not listening, itll click. Eventually he will be ok to keep the baby. The first time he keeps baby, have him call and u answer any questions without concern. Hes learning as we all are
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Don’t ever leave him alone with her… he needs help~
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Don’t leave her w him. And honestly he isn’t going to get better. He may see her as a burden, as in he’s stuck bc of her. I don’t want tjump to conclusions but was he happy w just you?
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do not leave the baby with him no matter if you think he would hurt the baby or not 
you need to have a very serious conversation with him and asap then go from there! Please use good judgment moving forward and do what’s in the best interest of your daughter 
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Very concerning. I wouldn’t leave him with her at all. He sounds like he could easily hurt her
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He sounds very very immature
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Hes not working therefore not providing. His wife is heading to hospital with cancer and he cant bond with baby …
.I think he’s scared .
He’s overwhelmed with worry about you , his ability to get another job to support you all and his inability to cope with baby.
Personally I would leave baby alone with him. He wont cope and that will make his mood worse.
Have a family member watch baby and pop in on your husband to let him see baby but also to check on him while you’re not there.
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Sounds like he’s got some uncontrolled anxiety and that may be a result of past trauma. He needs to talk to a therapist that can help him find a way to cope with it.
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Red flag take that baby some were else
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There’s really nothing more stressful than the sound of a baby crying especially when you don’t know how to make it stop. It’s sounds like he’s struggling with post natal depression, which is very common in men just as it is in women. I agree with not others who advise not to leave him alone with the baby, as tough as that may be. Rather than force him to spend time with her, talk to him about his feelings and encourage him to get help. A new baby that you feel unequipped to care for on top of joblessness is a lot of stress. He needs support.
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Please please please do not leave him alone with her, I know he is her father and your husband but these are very serious red flags, you may want to suggest counseling for him. This scares me and I know as a mother you wouldn’t want anything to happen to her. He may have some mental health issues
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I would talk to him. See how he is feeling. He might be struggling with depression and anxiety surrounding the baby. Men are capable of developing post natal mood disorders, just as women are. He might be struggling and not understanding his own emotions. If possible try to open a line of communication and perhaps advise speaking with a doctor.
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Take your baby and go. This is far from needing a warm up session. This is someone who doesn’t have the capability of being a parent. What’s going to happen when the babies sick and can’t be consoled?? Will he lose his shit and hurt the baby?? Not a chance I’d risk. Way to many red flags. I’m sorry you and your baby are going through this.
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I wouldn’t leave my child alone with him 
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I would not leave my baby in his care … and to be honest I would be terrified to have that man as my husband … I don’t think I could stay married unless he seeks help
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That scares me…I would not leave her alone with him. I wouldnt be staying if that was me…
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So, I was triggered by crying when my little was still a squishy rug slug. It felt like it set off immediate panic/anxiety and I couldn’t think or breathe. I learned to anticipate all her needs to avoid a crying baby.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like her or anything that that, she’s the star my universe revolves around. It was just a storm of pre-existing sensory overload and anxiety. I didn’t have any friends or family to help me or give advice so I just had to learn what worked for us. Maybe your husband needs the opportunity to learn how to cope without you serving as a parachute he can pull when the panic sets in. Maybe talk out some ideas together before hand on what he can do when the baby cries. Write it down because it’s impossible to think straight if you’re in panic mode. Maybe he has PPA? Meds could help too. If he’s open to it, have him talk to his doctor. You’re right to worry and your concerns are valid.
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No don’t leave her with him, get the brother in law to watch her while you have the procedure
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Sorry but that’s a red flag. Please don’t leave that baby with him alone until he is able to handle caring for her. That’s how tragedies happen. I hope it gets better for you guys
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I wouldn’t leave him alone with her… period
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Talk to him about the Purple Crying Period
He needs to speak to a doctor! Speak to your health visitor about it if possible MEN GET POSTNATAL DEPRESSION TOO! Speak to a professional, get their take on it and support him, until you’ve done that always have someone on hand with him who can help him, normalise men struggle too its not just women!
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Sounds like he has triggers from the baby crying , if your going to stay together he needs to talk to someone.
Do not leave the baby have you seen the news some people take their frustration out on the baby it can happen in an instant
And your going to leave her with him? I would be worried that my child would be getting abused in his care! Why do people think because he’s the bio father that they won’t hurt the child? Like come on!!!
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Don’t leave the baby with him, he doesn’t sound stable enough to handle her while you’re away and may end up doing something he can’t take back.
Doesn’t mean he’s a monster, or that will never have a bond… but it’s something I would keep a CLOSE eye on. Have him evaluated by his doctor, he needs medical help. Until you are 1000% sure that he is calm and rational enough to be alone with baby, don’t leave her in his care. Have him seek help.
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Counseling and maybe some anxiety medicine….
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! DO NOT LEAVE HER ALONE WITH HIM!!! The news is full of bio-dads harming their own children.
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Thats a huge concern. Maybe he has sensory issues but either way he needs to seek help. If he refuses I would call it quits. Thats a man that would probably shake that baby or beat her. Have someone else watch your baby. Do not leave her with him at all. Don’t force him to take care of her either. It will make that behavior worse. Either he gets help or you leave.
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I’ve seen research about breastfed babies just being more fussy and difficult to calm down. If he’s a new father it can be very frustrating because he won’t know what to do and the baby may not even know what she needs. It takes time to learn. I would say that you should be close to them at all times but make him keep her and have him practice different things that could soothe her, like rocking or lightly patting her back/bottom in a steady rhythm or maybe singing to her or just talking to her, & also remind him that if it becomes too stressful he can step away for a few minutes to get a break and then return and try again. But you should definitely not leave him alone with her until he has figured out how to navigate her mood changes. If he isn’t working right now then he should be handling her as much as you are so they can bond, but he needs to be more open minded and relax a little bit because she can sense his anger and she probably feels unsafe with him, he needs to understand that for her to feel safe with him he will have to get used to comforting her when she cries, otherwise their relationship will suffer in the long run if he continues to treat her as a problem because she has normal human emotions and needs.
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If he can’t handle her while your at home, what would he be like while your not there? I’d defo be asking him some questions, for example why he thinks it’s okay to call the upset baby, this or that! Or why he thinks something so special you BOTH made together isn’t something he wants to play with/ spend time with… I definitely wouldn’t leave the her in his care that’s for sure!
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Post natal depression for dads is a thing, people don’t talk about it often enough.
Instead of just ‘leaving’ discuss and work through what he may be feeling. He may have PND and when baby cries it makes him anxious.
Ask him how he’s going, etc with baby…maybe ask if he is struggling. Communication!
You know male post-partum depression is a thing. Yet noone talks about it!
No your situation is not necessarily a red flag, no I don’t think you should leave him. But I do think the two of you should talk to a doctor. He could be going through something and maybe he doesn’t even understand it.
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You should have bred with a different man. Good Fathers don’t do that. My high school friend had a beautiful healthy baby boy until the father shook the child while in his care. That child is now the poster child for Easter Seals in Georgia.
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Give this dude a damn break. I’m a new father and my son is just over 2 months. Let me tell you I fuckimg hate baby stage but that doesn’t mean I hate me son I love him with everything. But i also can’t stand when he cries. I start to sweat really bad and my anxiety goes crazy. I also say thing like Jesus crist will you stop crying and tell my wife here you take him. Some of you ppl on here are a fucking joke telling this lady don’t leave her baby with the daddy. Give hime some time and just show him different ways to calm her.
Honestly this sounds like maybe it is triggering some PTSD, unresolved trauma, or severe anxiety. Has he ever seen a therapist or psychiatrist in past? (Do not answer, this is to provoke you to think this may be these case). Everyone touting red flags, red flags, but this could be as simple as searching for answers by talking to him. Maybe he is scared of getting help or resolving past trauma and bc that man complex exists, maybe he doesn’t want you to know how bad he is struggling. Communication is key, then you will know what next steps are.
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