I feel like some men choose to be ignorant about it. Some were not raised right. And some, it is both. But as adults it’s up to them to change behavior and show they care. That being said, they can’t read your mind and may have different views on what is a priority. Time for a sit down. Respectfully tell them how you feel. Hear them out. Then make a plan.
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First I would like to say, Cooking,vacuuming , disinfecting bathrooms, laundry, dishes, sweeping/mopping are BASIC LIFE SKILLS!!! Nobody has to TELL us Ladies to HELP bring in money to support the house, NO MAN should NEED to be TOLD to clean what needs cleaning. They dont see what we see , he half asses it so I do it myself is TOTAL BS! Iam SURE thier mother taught them to wipe thier ass after taking a shit, as I’m sure she taught them dishes need to be washed after using them.My advice Ma’am if YOU cook LEAVE the kitchen, he comes in EXPECTING dinner simply state, I will be HAPPY to cook as soon as YOU clean the kitchen, Wash YOUR clothes leave his in the hamper, Let everything run OUT,soap, shaving cream,milk bread EVERYTHING! You’re his WIFE not his Mommy!
Strict enough ? Are you his wife or his mother? Appreciate what he does do. Alot of men don’t do squat.
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It appears that you are raising your husband and son. That can be overwhelming.
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Mines still in bed stop whinging it could be worse lol…but really I think this woman knows if her husband is lazy or not, I get sick of no initiative taken men need to learn that
Mine is great. He sees stuff that needs to be done (dishes, laundry, etc) and just does it
If you don’t open you mouth, begin the discussion, nothing will change. Start.
It’s not just you. I totally feel you. Then you’ll sit and talk to him, it will help for a week and it will be back how it was before. Just a waste of your time and breath but maybe it will help you. 
My husband works two jobs Monday through Friday. He still let’s me sleep in on Saturday and does the dishes for me. That’s it though lol. I do the rest
My husband works ten hours days six days a week. I’m a stay at home mom. I cook, I clean, I do all the laundry fold it and put it away and raise our son .He makes the money and pays the bill. Least I am do is keep a clean house and make sure he has a cooked meal when he gets home. He knows he don’t have to lift a finger.
Can a husband ever do enough?
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Mine just does it. I’m the one who needs a nudge to clean up 
I am sitting here seething over the same issue right now. He will clean as long as I give him tasks. And then they take all day. 
so fucking irritating.
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My husband is great he sees a mess and he will clean it. Doesn’t need to be told. But that’s what I wanted and who I chose to marry. While we dated and before we moved in I told him I wanted a partner not a child.
Every man should know how to run the household exactly the way it needs to be done. If the wife/girlfriend is doing it all then what happens when she’s hospitalized or dies unexpectedly? He won’t have the slightest idea of how to run the home or care for the children. He should also be just as involved in the children’s lives and schooling as the mother is. It doesn’t matter how “strict” you are or how you choose to divide the “chores” he needs to know how to do it all on his own also
I’m trying to figure out what the hell she wants. Not strict enough good thing. I’m not her husband. Until I become disabled. I work 80 hours a week. I really didn’t have time to do house chores. Until the last few years My wife did not have to have a job outside the house. Until I became disabled. So I really don’t know what this woman wants. Maybe she gets tricked enough the husband will strict enough his ass out of the house.
I do everything but I’m also a solo dad so Yer just uset to it
It’s just Easyer to get things done then replace
I have a chalkboard in the kitchen and mark down what needs done like switch laundry, unload dishwasher, fold laundry, clean bathroom. It’s the only way my husband says he can read my mind!
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My spouse and I went over the chores needed to run our home and take care of 4 kids. 25 years later we still honor that agreement. It takes commitment and serious discussion to work!
Mine just does what he sees I need help with.
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My man does everything from cook to clean
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Men are simple creatures but can’t read minds. Communicate with him.
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I cook, Clean iron Laundry even sew, and do the school run it’s never really bothered me happy to help out
I cook on the weekdays (wife usually gets home later than I do) I do the laundry and put it away. Although I hate the whites, I’ll do several weeks of those and just toss them in a basket once’s cleaned. Sorting that stuff is a nightmare. I’ll do the mopping since wife has bad back.
I don’t mind doing any of it but I hate taking the kids to appointments. I just don’t do the comforting thing well when they get shots so I try to get out of being the only one with them when we have those appointments.
My mom and dad raised five boys and mom always told us we should always be able to do our own cooking and cleaning and not have to depend on anyone to do it for us.
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You sound more like a mom and not a wife ew
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Maybe just said it up as a plan where whoever Cooks the other does the dishes. one person sweeps the other mops, someone vacuumed the other person whipes things down, take turns doing the laundry everybody, keep their stuff off the bedroom floor and put it where it goes and put their own clothes away just try and split the work load and make a plan. In my house I’m in charge of anyting pet-related basically any messes the pets make I am in charge of cleaning up I’m in charge of cat boxes I’m in charge of walking the dog I’m in charge of cooking and taking out the garbage. My mother cannot live alone so she lives with me she cleans the living room I clean the pet room and the hallway upstairs and we are in charge of our own bedrooms and our own bathrooms. We both clean the kitchen we have a dishwasher we used to wash your dishes in we do our own laundry.
My husband will do it if asked but I agree with the poster, making a lost going room to room seeing what needs to be done and they laying it out for them.
It’s just ANOTHER thing that’s on OUR to do list.
My husband will do the dishes and put them away, clean the kitchen, and do the laundry without me having to point it out or ask but that’s it. 
we are working on the rest though
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My husband works outside the home, and I stay home. We have 5 kids that live at home ranging from ages 15 months to 13 years. He works long hours as he is self employed so I really don’t expect him to do anything inside. I take care of the inside. I do not take out trash, cut grass, garden much, or do anything else that involves the yard. He does cook though, because he likes to cook. If I’m having a busy day and I ask for help with something I normally do,he helps with no problem. One thing though - I can’t imagine referring to being “strict” with my husband, because he is my partner, not my subordinate. If a man made a post about not being strict enough with his wife, the world would lose their minds. A slight shift in perspective might be in order here.
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It really depends. My husband makes 3x the money I do— so I do all of the housework except for sweeping and vacuuming. (He loves vacuum lines lol)
But that is OUR division of labor. It may not work for everyone.
How old are your kids? Honestly… it’s easier to teach the kids to help than a full grown man who is set in his ways. It wasn’t your job to teach him to clean.
It’s your job to not set your kids out into the world and be monsters who don’t know how to clean or help with grocery shopping. Focus on that, let the hubby do what he can- something foolproof and something he enjoys.
Let him bbq on Thursdays for dinner, or make vacuum lines every other day. Or even have a sexy bathing time just the two of you. 
I also may be very old fashioned but if the man is working and wife is stay at home I believe he takes care of most heavy lifting chores (taking trash out) and she keeps a clean comfortable home for them. Cooking can be something they do together especially since many men enjoy cooking.
My husband works and his responsibilities outside of that is trash, car maintenance, and yard.