I am 30 weeks pregnant and my husband said he wants a divorce...advice?

I really need some help mommas. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and my husband said he wants a divorce and 6 days later he’s moved out into his own place. I need help financially, emotionally, physically I’m completely broken down. I’m at home with 3 kids and a 4th on the way and he took our van so I can’t even get back and forth to work or to the store with all these kids. I just need some encouraging words I guess because I’m having a really hard time with this one.

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I split from my husband, I had a four year old, three year old twins and I was six months pregnant with my fourth. I had no finances of my own. You can do this. I know things are scary for you right now - six years later I am happily remarried, a house of my own and a family filled with love.
Surround yourself with love and friends, I’m not sure what country you are in but look at what benefits you are entitled to, put him on maintenance and try to heal. Much love to you xxx

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Oh this makes me so mad! I’ve been there myself. Stay positive squeeze those babies and gods strength will get you through. Prayers for you and lots of hugs

This is dangerous abandonment! I’m floored at how society blames the wife for ‘continuing to get pregnant’ :persevere:. The man should get sued not only for divorce but abandonment and child endangerment because she has no way to transport anyone to dr or herself to work. But let’s just sweep that under the rug.

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Get yourself a good lawyer and take him for everything he got

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Depends on what state yes file for child support and spousal support but they don’t give you enough to live on sad to say

Take all the advice and help you can!

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Citizens advice and as you are married everything is half yours, take him for everything! So sorry but you will get through this and it will make you stronger :muscle:

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Talk with a lawyer…alimony is a true thing!!

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Well, you could defintely still hit him where it hurts. He played, he needs to pay.

A man that would leave you like that, is one you should let go.

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Yes. Get him for abandonment. Get a lawyer asap

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Don’t talk to him. Don’t beg him. If u talk about the kids make it about the kids only. Men think your going to accept them no matter what they do, they’ll think they can get away with whatever. He’ll be back in no time. I know this method seems immature. But you’ll be happier.

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Depending on the state the courts will not allow a divorce while pregnant.

I’d contact friend of the court and get custody of your kids. And apply for assistance. Some dhs places can help with a vehicle and etc. :grinning:

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Get a free consultation with a lawyer he causing unnecessary hardships trust me he will be made to provide

Contact authorities to help you out if he isn’t helping you. They’re his kids too. Fight for you and your kids!

U can do this momma!! U willing urself better off

Get an Attorney. Now.
A good one.

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Court granted my nephew the family vehicle since he was the primary caretaker of the kids since my niece left him

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Came here to say take him for everything he’s got. No “man” would do that to his family

Personally dont care what his reasons are hes scum and youre better without him.
Now you get yourself a lawyer and get what you and your kids are entitled to from him. Look at custody, visitation etc … You’ll be entitled to legal aid and money from accounts etc You have citizens advise where you are ? They’ll help you claim the benifits you’re due …even if you don’t work you’re entitled to money. Wont be much probably but better than nothing. Change the locks . See what’s in bank accounts before he clears them…take half . Its your money too . You’re strong enough to do this for you and your kids :heartpulse:

Look up Divorcecare.org plug in your area code and go to the closest Program it’s Amazing and helps!

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File for child support, food stamps, and anything else you can get. Them places can also assist with free or very low cost day care. The judge would likely grant you the vehicle being as you are pregnant with 3 other children that he walked away from. For the baby you are pregnant with now, try your best to block out a lot of the emotional end, stress is the worst for unborn babies. I am so sorry :disappointed:

Need to get to human services and file for everything you can. They will go after him to pay, then start a friend of the court case as soon as possible. I don’t know what state you live in but check out abandonment laws, you could potentially be able to get alimony on top of child support. Judges don’t take kindly to this type of abandonment.

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Also file for full custody immediately. Once he realizes he has to pay child support he will fight you to get the kids

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You’ve got this Momma! Definitely file for child support and get all the benefits available to you at this time. Medicaid and food stamps will cover your children’s health care and feed them. You and baby are covered on Medicaid as well as Wic . Get your own bank account and make your ex hold accountability for the children and child support. Take that vehicle back too. Talk to your local Church’s too for any help you need. It’s okay to ask your family and friends for help too. Get yourself a good attorney and make :sparkles: the magic happen. You’ve got this and I’m praying for you and your kiddos. Sending you good vibes! I was a single mother and my boys and I did so much better without the father in the picture. You can do this! Take good care of yourself and your kiddos :heart: :two_hearts: take it one day at a time. This is a blessing and when one door closes another opens. Believe in yourself!

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Sounds a lot like abandonment.

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File for child support, alimony, welfare, food stamps, literally anything and everything you can. I would seriously take him for everything you got. I’m all for a healthy easy divorce but not if he’s acting like this :woman_shrugging:

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Get that dude for everything he has. Normally I’m against child support and all of that good stuff but not in this case!

Fine for child support right now cause they back date and get food stamps and cash help whatever you can do right now cause i was in the same situation just one child… I did that and within 3 months I was doing a thousand times better

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Go see a lawyer just because he wants a Divorce that doesn’t Relingquish him from his Responsibility.Hes not a Man not even a Father.I want to say more that this .

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What state are you in?? I’m willing to help!

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Wooooooooowwww what a piece of sh

Get a lawyer!!!
Then you need to find some support options in your local area as well as with your friends and family to try and figure it all out. I’m so sorry he’s done this to you hun, but you will get through this. When you start getting overwhelmed, take a quick breather and prep yourself to try again.

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First talk to a lawyer. In most states he can’t leave you without transportation since you have the children. The lawyer will also tell you where you stand with support for the children. I went through this when I was expecting our 3rd child. It seems overwhelming but you will be better off in the end. You are stronger than you think. I’m going to keep you in my prayers.

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Get to family court and a judgement for maintenance asap

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Is he military?? Please let him be so you can get help fast!

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He’s a POS for doing this to you get yourself a lawyer and make him pay

Get a lawyer, get the divorce, get child support for 3 kids and an infant plus assistance with all bills from birthing, daycare, etc for EACH.
And get alimony - I guarantee he’s cheating.

Give him the divorce, it’s worth it.

Boy if ever the term"safety net" was needed to describe a scenario this would qualify, first of all get your mind right about this guy, then put on your war paint and get in the battle for your kids, abandonment and betrayal = war

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Don’t forget to file for health coverage for you andbyour kids. Tell them you want to file for health coverage, Snap, and Tanf. Then get a lawyer if you afford one and file right away before he does for divorce and child support.

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Report him for abandonment and file for child support and food stamps

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Abandonment should be illegal get child support asap

First thing is first take care of you. Financially you need help. Take a bus down to your local dhs office and sign up for FIP food stamps and child support. I would also file for a legal separation so he is still required to help take care of of home meaning hopefully you will get the car in some kind of mediation

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First, file for cs, food stamps, cash assistance. Secondly I’d see.about getting a loan or getting a cheap car for the time being. Open your own bank account and start putting money into it.

I just went through all this and my ex took SO MUCH from me and I couldn’t do a thing about it. In return, I got to keep the car cause it was in my name, I closed the joint accounts(because he was stealing my money as he wasn’t working) there’s alot you can do, and alot of resources out there. :heart: hang tight mama

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Document everything from here on out momma. Write down everything that happens. Save every text/ message he sends you. And Document how often he asks to see the kiddos. My heart breaks for you guys I’m sorry. Look into free legal aid in your area as well.

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Get a lawyer. He is responsible to pay child support. You should be able to get food stamps for now. His pay check can be garnished

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I would definitely file for any Assistance you can get, I would hire a female divorce lawyer and take his ass to the bank!!

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If the car was bought during your marriage it is half yours. He doesnt get off that easy. Take it from somebody that knows, dont be the nice guy. Do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself and your kids.

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First of all I’m really sorry that this is happening to you. Secondly lawyer up and take him for everything he’s got

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Lawyer up girlfriend!
Looks like he’s already set up anew life.

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Can they not do an emergency hearing for you to get yhe van to get around with all the kids and emergency child support . And support for you are these all his. What state are you in’ fight and fight dirty if you have to. No idea what he mights have up his sleeve. Get a restraining order! Good luck and it will all work out!

just remember you are entitled to 1/2 of what is in his 401K from the day you got married. My ex took money out of his to pay for the divorce and had to pay me 1/2 of that since it was taken out before divorce was final. Take him for all you can and start right away.

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Shame on him for leaving you without a vehicle. That is a safety issue and no judge will stand for it.

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Get to a lawyer as fast as you can!

He is an absolute piece of garbage. I’m so sorry he did this to you, but it sounds like you are way better off without him. There’s a lot of good advice in the comments and unfortunately I have nothing to add. You’ll get back on your feet and you’ll be happier without him.

Tell him he has to take ALL the kids :joy::joy::joy:

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Get a lawyer pro bono and they should know what steps to take. So sorry you have had to go through this! Call for help with social services too.

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Is the van in your name? If so call and report it as stolen. I’d be calling a legal aid lawyer and finding out how to get it back and how to get child and spousal support.

Food stamp case worker here. File for Food stamps first. Most now are online so you won’t even have to leave the house. Same things for WIC and Medicaid. Once you apply for Medicaid and FS (at least in my state), it will automatically open up a child support case. If not, it’s not very expensive to get one opened on your behalf. Also, reach out to local churches. It doesn’t matter if you are religious or not. They can help or point you in the right direction. And most of all, breathe. You got this. Those kids need you now more than ever. They are hurting too bc they lost their dad. Even though he is the bad guy here, remember not to put him down in front of the kids. They see more than you think…Good luck! :heart:

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File for divorce & child support immediately. You can ask for a court fee waiver. You may also be able to get a probono lawyer if your area has legal aide programs.

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And another thing, do NOT feel sorry for him, let him make you feel guilty or responsible for whatever situation he ends up in, and do not take him back right away if he suddenly has a change of heart. Those are all manipulation tactics and you will end up right back in the same situation sooner or later. Please learn from my mistakes! 12 years of marriage and three children, and my ex did this and it drug out the inevitable divorce by 6 years. I didn’t listen to professionals and it bit me in the butt, and still is.

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You activate your inner momma bear and go to court to file for child support immediately, you will need to do that in order to move forward with filing for any type of assistance through the state (at least this was true for Texas, Florida and Illinois as of a few years ago) apply for as many assistance programs as you can because not every one says yes and it’s much easier to approach the process assembly line style because they ask for a lot of documentation (typically that list is pretty similar from one agency to another)
What you can’t do is wallow in grief and sorrow which you will definitely be feeling, because the kids need to have their basic needs met and this man isn’t going to do right by them ever.
Going to a domestic violence shelter or agency would likely be a good first step because sometimes they do assist with legal counsel so you can figure out how to file for child support etc. And they provide other essential services to help you get back on your feet.

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Give him what he wants and take half of EVERYTHING!!! doesn’t sound like much of a man to me.

What a mongrel dog act !!! read these comments hun, there’s lots of good advice here !! you can do this, hoping you have family to reach out to !!

A man does that there is something else going on with him I hate to say it. Been there done that. You need to file on him now. Do not wait. Nothing will start until you do. The vehicle is marital property, if in both your names you have as much right to it as he does and if you have the children I would file in the courts for soul use of it as he walked out and left the children whom you need to care and provide for. File for an emergency hearing. They should get you in right away.

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Get a new bank account in your name. Tell your work immediately to deposit checks into the new account, even if you have to get a papercheck for now tell them you do not wants funds deposited to old bank account. Also, are you safe? That’s the main priority. You and your kids safety comes first.

File for spousal support as well as child support and food stamps. Also check out LIHEAP for help with your electric. I’m so sorry you’re going through this but it honestly seems like you’re better off. Who leaves their kids with no help, food, or a ride?? Hang in there babe, it’ll get better

File a child support case through friend of the court asap

Can’t divorce while pregnant

I am sorry but he sounds like a JERK!!!

Get to an atty asap sue his butt he has 4 kids to support make his life hell just like he did yours but dear listen to this if nothing else put a smile on that face hes cheating or plans to when he moved he was gone already after you get an emergency visitation set and money set pretend your ok agree dont argue just dont let his walk on you or abuse the kids or the court order … to leave u pregnant and 4 kids he sure is a throw away not a keeper

File for child support, spousal support and any other assistance you can get. Don’t wait file ASAP

Take his ass to court!! By the way isolating you?.. that’s abuse.

File for full custody! Get him for child support. Sign up for snap and anything that they will help u with. But Def take him to court n try getting all the help u can. He sounds like a jerk. Who would just leave there family n take vehicle knowing they’ll need it for appointments and everything else.

All of the advice above, plus petition for emergency alimony on grounds of abandonment.

File for custody of your children, child support and spousal support right away.

File for assistance right away. And he’ll have to pay child support. Sounds like this could be a good thing because he sounds like an ass**** to just leave his family like that! Go after his ass for everything you can and god bless you and your little family :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::pray:

What a scumbag … I’m sorry but that is a pos move … even if you did something appalling to make him move out ( not saying you did ) he does not get to take your transport for the kids and abandon the family.
As other have suggested apply for cs and they will back date it when you start getting payments. Ring around for family support for the time being hope everything goes ok. Sorry he did this to you

Your husband is a dick. You are better off alone.

Get a good lawyer. He will have to pay for everything and give you the vehicle.

You have the children. Any court will give you the benefit.

He will have to do everything until the divorce is complete.

And pay your lawyers fee.

Your next call should be to an attorney.

Tell him he has to take all the kids he 2ill change his mind.

I would go immediately file for custody and child support. Get the paperwork for your divorce started. Then I’d look for state assistance they may move you further in line given you’re pregnant. Do you any family or friends that may be able to help you?

Go file for assistance asap… they will get him and they will help you and the children. Be strong !! If he can do this to his family then YOU ALL are better off without him …
Trash took himself out to the curb don’t let him back in …

File for child support and HIRE A LAWYER! In your state they should have free law services for low (or no) income people. I know in MD they have many resources.

I just randomly Googled legal services in different states and a whole bunch of help
comes up. Please, you have a child on the way, only take legal advice from a lawyer and not a FB lawyer. Also, you can file for state services like food, cash assistance, daycare vouchers and medical insurance. I can only speak on the state of MD but if you apply for cash assistance the state will also help you get child support. Good luck!!

Remember you and your child deserve better. I’ve raised 3 boys alone and I’m a hard working mom. You can do it! It’s not easy by any means but as a mom you can provide a good life for your child. Just have to be willing to work hard and not put up with anyone’s shit.

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First thing file for anything and everything you can through the government get that going immediately . Second change all the locks in the house . He left deal with it . Third get a lawyer asap !!! Actually FIRST go to bank and take half of all money in it . Btw you get your taxes yet ? If not watch that account like a hawk and when it hits run up to the bank and take all of that money immediately should be able to get a good lawyer . Plus if he left you while your pregnant get one of your friends to follow him with a camera cus I’m telling you he’s upto no good . Get proof

Write divorce papers have them spent to the house for certified service and go to court and take home for everything :ok_hand:t2:

I hope that some family and friends can step in and help while you sort things - car/bills/financial support/cs. If bills are paid and food in the cupboards then that is good…sort things out in priority, get legal support, own bank account…you will boss through Mama​:pray::two_hearts: it will be hard at times but Woman can do anything, let those who love you help out, be there for your kids focus on them and yourself. Shame on your Ex taking the car when you have the kids. You deserve way better Queen!

Talk to a lawyer. Full out a winz application online asap. Big hugs.
What an asshole leaving like this

You need a lawyer fast if you can’t afford one thete help for free

File for custody of your unborn child before he does

What the heck?!?! Do you have family to help? I am so sorry. Take him to court for an expedited hearing. If you have a smaller vehicle maybe they will make him switch you. Is he not speaking to you? That is very shitty of him if so.

Like most are saying file for child support, file ebt they have an emergency fund and also cash assistance. A lot of your local churches should be able to help as well.
Also there are attorneys who may take your case probono so you can get a custody agreement set up.
With that being said document everything.
Even if you have texts, voicemails anything proof I know the courts in PA take all of that into consideration.

Well that van is half yours. It can’t be finalized until the baby is here. You can get child support before the divorce is final. I would suggest a lawyer with this one to get everything you deserve. He abandoned the children so you should get most of the custody. He left you stranded so that doesn’t look good on him either. The court can make him give you back the vehicle since you are the main caretaker. File for everything if you haven’t already, WIC, foodstamps, cash assistance, housing assistance if you rent, etc… talk to legal aid and see if they can help since he left you like that it’s pretty abusive. That’s who helped me.

Why did you keep getting pregnant :pregnant_woman: by this man? You should have stopped at number 2.
However, turn to GOD he’s the best at solving problems. Can you move in with your mother :woman:? An older sister or brother?
Just breathe…you got this.God will see you through this!!!

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Go see an attorney now. If he has health insurance through his employer, you are all still covered until the divorce is final. You can ask in the divorce that the kids stay on his plan. You can request that you stay covered on his plan for a certain period of time. His employer insurance would have to honor that. But seriously… See an attorney. Tell him he better get a move on filing. It really doesn’t matter who files first. He will not be able to get custody of the kids. As soon as he files, you can ask for immediate assistance with child support and maintenance of some sort. They can file to ask for you to have the vehicle because you have the children and you need a means of transportation in case of an emergency. If you have family available to help with watching the kids, I would find at least some sort of part-time job. Sounds to me like he may be setting up House with someone else.

Your need to be strong not for but your kids. You can do this you need to file child support and get on food stamp and see what they can help you with housing and other things like day care so you can work. Am a big believer that God will help; your got to pray and have faith. Your husband has moved in and what a jerk not to think about his kids selves bastard. You can do this in your own. I was in your place 7 years ago my ex moved on in a week I had nothing but with Gods help. I have a house, two cars and my kids a happy and safe. It looks bad right because just happened but remember if there is a will there is a way. In your condition right now is child support and welfare to get you back on your feet good luck may things work out for you. :pray::pray:

Where is Lorena Bobbitt when you need her???

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