Im not really asking a question really I’m just grasping at straws here but it would mean alot if this got posted. I’m just a dad that’s trying so hard. I’ve got my kids and my wife but it’s still just draining me. I’m trying but I’m pouring from an empty cup and I’m really just looking for words of encouragement to help keep me going, please help
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am a father needing words of encouragement
You are amazing for even coming here and admitting you need help!
It’s temporary God won’t give us more than we can bare.
Can you join a group or go to the gym
We all are just pray…that’s hard to think about but keep pushing I’m waiting on my break too
Fully understand… Studying the law of attraction has changed my world for the better…maybe it can help you to. I watch Abraham hicks on youtube…its crazy how it just makes sense. You got this
Each day at a time. Work on restoring energy. Talk to your doctor and perhaps a therapist for you and your family who knows if they could also benefit from speaking to a therapist.
Keep pushing through! Try to find sometime for yourself to recoup. Even if you can only get an hour or so a week, start there and really try to focus on you during those down times. You are amazing for all that you do for your family, don’t forget that
Give yourself a break, time to reset. Make yourself a priority. A healthy father and husband is what they need in the long run, you can’t provide that without prioritizing your mental/physical health first.
First of all,AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME! You don’t realize how much it is a blessing to have a present dad and partner in your lives.Dont forget to look after yourself too and take time out to treat yourself.
We’ve all been there (some days still there) so please don’t feel alone. We are all just trying to find something that makes us, us.
I hope you’re able to find something that sets your soul on fire.
You got this! You may have some clinical depression going on. See your Dr. Low testosterone also makes you feel this way. Rule out medical reasons! Your a great dad obviously a great husband!
I think we all hit this wall at one point or another. At least I know I have. I have had to ask myself “how am I even going to make this happen for another day” but I did. And I do it every single day without fail. You are not alone in this. Being an adult is fucking hard, man.
You aren’t alone. Find happiness in your own days and be patient with the rest
Maybe call a men’s help line for someone to talk to and get out how you’re feeling.
One day at a time! I feel you. It’s just me but I’m feeling the same. Deep breaths, you got this!! Try to find time for yourself if possible or someone you can vent to.
The world needs good men like yourself sire! Your children need you and your wife needs you more than words can say! I thank you for all the good that you do because only a life lead with integrity it’s worth living and talking about. We get inspired from one another and we are more connected than we realize. Please count all your blessings every day and yes, you can count yourself being alive and healthy twice.Lots of motherly and sisterly hugs to you!
Sending prayers your way.
Prayers for strength and motivation sending love !!
Reach out to an experienced, qualified marriage and family therapist. Many still do online sessions.
U got this and ur strong keep going go dad/hubby go
One step at a time, one day at a time, one breath at a time. Celebrate every small success and remember to take time to smile and laugh
Whatever is going on can’t get better if you aren’t here. And being here for your wife and kids is important. I’m not sure exactly what you are struggling with. Perhaps counseling would be a good step. Know that all you can do is try and be the father you wanted to have. No matter how your father was, good bad or indifferent, you can be the dad you want to be. It takes work. Working through your own trauma (we all have varying degrees of trauma of life) and doing something for you to refill your cup. Good luck, Dad. Keep trying. You only fail when you stop trying.
I feel the same way. I think a lot of us do. Sounds like you’re doing your best and that’s all you can do. Have you had a break recently? I know they help me but it’s hard to get one. Do you have someone to talk to? A therapist would be great but I know they’re expensive. I don’t go because of that. Sometimes letting little things go helps as well. Good luck
I think right now with everything going on a lot of us are, just grasping at straws. Taking it one day at a time or sometimes one minute at a time. Try going for a walk and looking at nature or something you enjoy doing. Self-care is very important.
Prayer. That’s the only thing that gets me through the dark days. Just talk to God like you would to someone you trust. Tell him your problems. Tell him how you feel. Tell him everything and ask for his help.
Make sure you have date nights with your wife. If your are not able to because do to babysitting issues. Them get some fun snacks put the kids to bed and have a date nite at home.
Find something that you can do on your own and just take a breather. Even dad needs breaks at times! I know when my husband was working at his job that he hated it was literally draining him of who he was. He got tired of it and decided to go back to school full time, worked full time and still made time for me and the kids. It was hard AF and draining but he did it, graduated and he is sooo much happier than he ever was before. Talk to your wife and explain to her how you feel. It’s important that she knows so she can help you. I hope you find peace and happiness in other areas of your life. Good luck!
Please see a Dr as soon as you can or go to ER!!!
All the hard work and dedication to your family will be rewarded with great fruits. It wasn’t until I was around 14-16 that I stepped back and noticed my dad’s hard work. I use to be upset because he missed so many events but I never paid attention the clothes I wore, our house, food on the table, ect. If your children grow up to appreciate your hard work. Then hopefully one day they will take care of you the way you took care of them. As it is now with us in my family.
My parents raised 7 kids and it’s not until we’re adults that we realize all the sacrifices from both. We wouldn’t have it any other way and we are all close.
You should look up some motivational videos and law of attraction videos on YouTube. Also, positive affirmations
You are 100% not alone.
First, talk to your wife. Tell her what you need. She won’t know if your don’t talk to her.
2nd, therapy. It’s ok to not be ok and need help.
You can’t give what you don’t have.
Your children are watching so show them that it’s ok to seek help and let your loved ones help you. Children need to see that too.
You have a lot going for you keep going you can do it
Are u doing what u would like to at least 1-2 times a mnth?
Don’t have time? I read lately that sometimes being tired is doubled the more we leave ourselves out. Two times a mnth 3-5 hrs once with the wife and once without. Even if u go to a park and watch moss grow …try it?
Figure out what fills your cup… it could be simple self care or maybe you need guidance navigating your feelings… there is absolutely no shame in therapy regardless of man or woman…
It’s hard to do but never give up. I’ve been struggling for 30 years now but I refuse to surrender. I keep pushing every day. Keeping my love for my children and grandchildren in mind is what keeps me going. You are a good man for doing what you are and a great role model for family life. Just please never give up on family or life matter what . You are strong
You are doing great!
Are you a Christ follower? Sounds like you need Christ as your personal savior and you can call upon him everyday and all day long
Take vitamins and keep hydrated. Get sleep.
Self love sir! Discover and do what you enjoy more often! Have a conversation with your wife and make time for yourself!
Men often get overlooked in the scheme of a parent struggling. Just know you’re not alone. See if you and your wife can work out where a few times a month you get a break from everything and then she gets a break (like alternating weekends or something). That’s something that helped my husband and I both when we were really struggling. Hang in there.
You are who those kids love and look up to! Never lose sight of how important and meaningful you are to them! Not many kids are lucky enough to have a father so they are blessed already. You got this daddy!
I feel you man. I highly encourage to begin doing things that bring joy. Going on a walk and noticing the little things. Doing things you enjoyed as a child seems to help make me feel a bit you h and energized. I also try to go do things with my kids to show them new things. Life is exhausting and draining. Keep on going my friend. Your kiddos will know all you have done and how much you love them.
Its OK to feel overwhelmed, you’ve took the first step and reached out! Go speak to your doctor things will get better
Ask God for guidance. It maybe you just need a few days for yourself.
Read think and grow rich if you can find one
It takes a lot for someone to reach out and ask for reassurance/help. Kudos to you for doing so. Sounds like you’re very hands on. Talk to your wife-I’m sure she feels the same. Maybe each join a club, bowling league, or just a get together (her with her friends and you with yours) once a week for away time in addition to a date night just the two of you at least once a month even if it’s just a drive or long walk together. In a couple months if you still feel in the place you are talk to your Dr. a Counselor, get into a support group. Good Luck to you and your family…… you got this
Communication and therapy will help so much! If you have a Dr, reach out to them, let them know what is going on.
Judy Judy once told someone that Dad’s are not second class citizens… And that has always stuck with me. Separated or together, I do feel father’s tend to get overlooked sometimes and I’m sorry you feel overwhelmed.
Staying at home… Raising, teaching, spending every moment with your children can be exhausting. Being the parent who works each day, providing, missing out on the little things and feeling like it’s up to you to make sure they get everything is hard to balance. both situations can cause tremendous frustration and guilt. Parenting is hard and it’s okay to struggle,
But be open about it… Don’t lose communication. Take a moment to sit with yourself and figure out what it is that you are missing and if you don’t know, maybe your family might have an idea … sometimes they can see the things you can’t.
You need something to look forward to. You need the support of people like yourself. I can’t recommend strongly enough that you find a church home. I’m sure my Dad felt overwhelmed at times. My adoptive mother wasn’t an easy woman to live with. He had one leg three inches shorter than the other from a childhood accident, but he still ran a successful duck farm. We never missed a Sunday going to church. He was a member of a men’s group with the church. He also was active in the Freemason’s, the Scottish Rite, the Shrine, and Eastern Star. He made it a point to be pleasant to everyone he met. Everyone who knew him loved him. He was involved in all the lodges charitable activities and enjoyed it all. He and I were very close. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for me. I adored him. It was all because he embraced life as a gift. He and my adoptive mother couldn’t have kids so they arranged to adopt me. It was meant to be that I was his daughter. I was born on his birthday. I know now you feel drained and used up. Joining a church will help. Not only does God fill you up, there are men there who have also felt the same way who can help you get through it. We belonged to the United Methodist Church. It was a great experience. Your kids may enjoy the Youth groups. Try it. What have you got to lose?
If my husband ever feels like this I want him to talk to me. I’m sorry your feeling this way. My husband is my best friend and I would never want him to suffer in silence. We do stuff together we both enjoy.
Go see your doctor and good luck god bless
Jesus gives us hope because He keeps us company and has a vision and knows the way we should go.” Nothing is a surprise to God so it is important to keep him in the center in order for things to fall in to place and work for your good and his purpose for yourself and your family. Always stay connected to God pray about it ask him to lead you and including your wife to pray with you helps. Whatever is troubling you let her know she may be able to help you with whatever is troubling your spirit. It will bring you some sense of peace if your both on the same page and aware of how you both feel in the relationship and whatever concerns you have. The Bible Says That Two Are Better Than One. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. Open up to your other half. And if so seek godly counsel to help point you in the right direction when needed.
Figure out what you need to do to feel better. Then explain to your wife what needs done and put your foot down. Both have equal responsibility in raising a family. Good luck. People only walk on you as their rug if you let them
Talk to your Dr about a Vitamin Panel or get a check up. You sound depressed. Which is good that you are reaching out for help. My husband lost his job when he got hurt and then diagnosed disabled put him in a depression and he confessed to wanting to kill himself. He was diagnosed severely depressed and also low on vitamin D3. I read that D3 is a natural antidepressant so I started giving him 2. He soon stopped talking about it and started enjoying life. Fishing and the grandkids. I still give him one a day. I would suggest also to pray about your problems and seek a church for help. They usually have a men’s group. God bless.
Best advice is get in church and do alot of prayers
I hear you…if possible carve some me time even if 30 minutes a day…work up to an hr…if you have to walk around your neighbour breathe deeply notice the sky …the grass…trees flowers even animal or human life let it ground u…breathe feel one with the air u are breathing start small get biggger more time as u can once a week or once a month do something special for you…if it is to be let it start with me…talk to ypur wife…my brother in law bikes but do what u need for u…u are right u can not give out of an empty cup every day …u will kill your spirit
If ever a couple needed a professional advice. Go see one with or without your wife!
Father’s are not incapable of struggling. The rate of Male S***ide is climbing drastically. You need to sit down with your wife and open up about what’s bothering you. Then maybe seek a therapist. There is nothing wrong with a little Zoloft to counteract the darkness and you’d be surprised how many people are struggling with depression and mental health issues every day. There is no stigma anymore in getting help before you fall into the abyss of hopelessness.
Then find a hobby. Like a real hobby. Mine is gardening. It makes me So happy to see beautiful things growing from nothing. My brother likes to take cars apart. Do something off the internet and try and connect with yourself and nature.
Get your Vitamin D checked. But know that everyone needs you. You have many things in the future to look forward to with your children
Hi I don’t know you but ,life gets to where you just don’t know why you keep going some times .but the reasons are right in front of you the sweet smile that your wife gives you when you wake up or just when she looks at you only the way that she could look at you ,and you say you have a kid man your blessed above and beyond words some people can’t even have kids that would give their last breath to have them. Look what im trying to say is look at things different see things as beautiful not as draining .cause look at it this way what if on one of these draining days God took them from you then that would leave you shatters and broken beyond words .your a good kind person .if you ever need to talk you can p.m me on messenger im very married and love my husband to the moon but im always willing g
To give an ear
The fact that you are able and willing to reach out is GREAT! I would highly recommend trying to find a therapist you can connect with. Finding the right one is such a blessing. You can work on your internal struggles and invite your wife to join you when/if you and her are open to that. Having a positive and safe place to decompress and get an unbiased perspective is so helpful.
Dont look back, cont going forward even 1 step at a time. Stop depending totally on your power and double down with God. He is with you and you can trust him. He knows your needs and you will make it.
You got this! You may feel unappreciated or drained but know you are doing what keeps a family going.
Whats up…we cant give advice if we dont know whats up…please elaborate on whats going on hun? Is that draining feeling emotional or physical or financial? Lets start there.
Start with simple things to start filling your cup. Look up positive affirmations on YouTube or whatever medium you listen to and find one you like. Repeat to yourself in the mornings. Turn one on at night to put you to bed. Read the Proverbs or other positive and or inspirational reads. Go for daily walks. Take hot showers and meditate. Turn off and get away from anything negative. Drink water. Eat healthy. Everything you do should be positive to fill your cup. Find someone you respect and talk to them if you can’t find or afford a therapist. Pray. Sending my well wishes!
I think as parents spouses and as humans just in general we have all felt like this. First off know you are not alone. Secondly I hope you can tell your spouse how you feel too. It’s always best too have open conversations about our mental health. I know it seems like you’re stuck on autopilot and spinning your wheels but just remember that the ppl in your life need you and that all this is momentary and your situation will change. Take some time for yourself and just relax and reset. This is why I say speaking to your wife is needed so she can help you with everything she can so you can take a moment. Also speak to her about where her heads at too. She might honestly feel the same way. Just keep your head up n take baby steps. You can make it through this.
Life is overwhelming. Men feel aslong as they are working that’s what the family need since they are providing the necessities. Woman want intimacy, which is your time. Kids need a schedule and are everywhere. Reminder to show appreciation for your wife and sit with kids a few extra minutes. Take a walk, kick a ball.
you sound to me to be a loving dad and husband to your family but worn out emotionally from yr struggle to survive - we’ve all been there and most have emerged stronger - it’s not easy I know but you have a family that depends on you and you owe it to them - slow and steady wins the race - you are not alone - we understand.
Awesome job you care enough to speak on it and didn’t just quit and walk out!! It is draining! But your obviously not a quitter!! YouTube has a lot of videos on how to use the right “terminology” in a Convo to get your partner to actually Hear you. And truly vitamins will add to your life I swear by them! St John’s wart is life changing (if you aren’t on any medicine that wouldn’t mix). I think your awesome for keeping on doing what you have to do and still recognize it’s too much sometimes. Wooosaaaa my friend and you can do it you are doing it! I hope you can find an outlet.
Keep your head up young fella and keep going
Talk to your wife maybe you need counseling and see your doctor. Have them do blood work to make sure your vitamin levels are OK. Maybe take a vacation if you can afford it. We all get burnt-out at some point. You got this don’t give up.
You are doing great. All your hard work is going to pay off. The uncertainty you feel now will get better. You know failure isn’t an option. You aren’t alone. World needs more men like you.
Find something to do that you enjoy if you can. Alone or with other people. Fishing, bored games, ect…
There’s nothing wrong with filling your own cup. Something out side of your wife and kids. We all need that.
Dads Matter conginoyo do your best, and be present for your children !!! In the meantime, make sure & remember you have to take care of u …you can’t pour from any empty cup !!! Best wishes Dad !!! 🏼
You sound like an overwhelmed husband and dad. You have a family that stands by you. Take a breath and refill your cup. You’ve got this dad.
What would help you right now?
Prayers they work wonders
Just keep going we all feel like giving up at times. Go where it’s quite and breath…
If you doing it for them just keep it together. I always find that prayers helps. You got this things will get better.
Change your routine, go for a walk when home,start exercising to relieve tension.
Sending hugs and prayers
Sending hugs & prayers. Sometimes you just need a break to relax. Take a self care day. Go fishing or whatever you like to do to relax. You can’t poor from anyone empty cup. Prayer also helps a lot. Good luck sweetie. You’ve got this
Legend daddy’s pacific pines
Yes to depression screening and vitamin panel as previously mentioned. Do this first. Therapy & meds can do wonders.
Get help to find free time. Find babysitters you trust & have date nights or just get some sleep while they watch your kids.
Religious institutions have Sunday school or equivalent where you can drop the kids off while you get a spiritual service or just nap in your car for a break. If you have no beliefs, a Unitarian church might be a good fit.
If the kids are old enough there’s scouting and sports, where you can leave at least one child on occasion—but not every time—to do something renewing or take a nap.
There are fun places where you can leave your kids for a fee for up to 2 hours so you and your wife can get stuff done.
Do more fun stuff with the kids like go to a recreation center swimming pool—if they don’t have a kiddie pool, see if they have floaties for the kids. Go bowling (ask for lane bumpers & the thing to roll the balls for kids), walks in parks, playgrounds, take advantage of free or low-cost performances designed for kids, museums, gardens, parades, festivals, carnivals. Go to high school performances & sporting events. You can always leave at intermission or half time for short attention spans. Take advantage of story time & other programs at your local library. You can often find friends who will read to your kids for a bit so you can have time for a pee, a shower or something else brief around the house.
Make friends with other parents, join dad’s or parents groups. Keep a gratitude journal with things for which to be thankful & review the list often. We often take our blessings for granted. It’s said if you have even one pair of shoes you are more fortunate than 75% of the world’s people. Be grateful for working senses and body parts, not living in a war zone, free public schooling (if applicable) a roof overhead and food to eat, the health of your family, a sunny day, etc.
Have more family fun. Camp out in your back yard or in a fort you make indoors with sheets and furniture, have a picnic, play board games or pin the tail on the donkey. I love the Life Stories game—it gets people talking and it’s cooperative vs. competitive. Mad Libs are fun if kids have vocabulary. Puzzles designed for kids are fun too.
Don’t be a perfectionist. Kids don’t need a bath & hair wash every day unless they get really dirty or stinky or sticky. Every other day is fine. Use paper plates & plastic utensils once in a while to avoid dishes. Have breakfast food for dinner. Plan yogurt with add-ins is an acceptable meal for everyone except kids under 6 months. Nuts, granola or other cereal, jam, honey, syrup, dried or fresh fruit, even chocolate chips or mini M&Ms, cinnamon are all good choices.
Lower your standards for household perfection. Get the kids to help with household chores: dusting whatever they can reach, rinsing dishes, washing and putting silverware in the dishwasher and drawers, putting toys in a bin, clothes in a hamper, using a stepstool to put dirty clothes in the washer or wet clothes in the dryer, setting the table, folding clean washcloths, hand and dish towels and pillowcases, handing you things from the dishwasher to put away, hanging little things on a drying rack, tossing things in trash or recycling, handing you diapers, wipes, ointment. Have older kids sing to, rock or pat babies, give them bottles or spoon feed them. Have a chore chart & give them gold stars for each helpful task. Once they get the hang of it you won’t have to supervise as closely anymore.
try and calm yourself down , but keep doing what you are doing but go slow about it don’t over do it for u r only human !
Hang in there. Just do what you can. You’re only human
Have you sat down with your wife and talked to her? I know it’s hard for men to come apart in front of their woman. But your wife can’t help you or fix anything that’s bothering you if you don’t talk to her. That’s what she’s there for. That’s why you married her. I try to tell my husband this all the time.
Make sure to take the time to do things that make you happy and feel at peace. Everyone needs a break sometimes. Make sure you’re taking care of you, too! You’ve got this!
David Thacher. Tell him about your dad group
Join ABOD (A Bunch of Dads TM) We are here for you brother, and good news, Dads only
Go do something for yourself. Go see a movie alone, go for a walk by yourself. Go play golf by yourself or play a videogame by yourself. Do what you need to, to fill up your cup. You matter too.
You sound like you want out
Find a church home!!
Sending hugs. Parenting is not easy but you’ve got this! im sure your family thinks the world of you and loves you.
My prayers goes out to you.
Stay strong Papa Bear
You got this
Make yourself a man cave.
Parenting is not that easy but we can make it sweet.
Cut down your budget and save more.
Don’t try to impress friends/ family by your spendings.
Always buy what you need not what you want.
Encourage your wife to get something doing for pay ie creating/producing/buying/selling/working or helping even if it’s within the neighborhood.
Less stress and play more.
Life too short.
Praise God maker of all things, turn your life over to God ask forgiveness for your sins I invite Jesus Christ into your heart. You will feel better love deeper and worry less let your savior be your guide.