Hey so I’m a single mom with a 3 year old and I want to have another child. I can’t seem to find anyone but one guy who I’m not attracted to but I know is attracted to me. I feel If I stay w him I can possibly get pregnant and actually have a meaningful relationship. I’m almost 40 and I know if I want to have another child I would have to do it now. So do I stay w this guy and see where it goes or do I continue to wait for the right one which at my age will probably never come…
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am a single mother but want another child
Adopt/foster a foreign child. If you arent attracted to him rushing into baby is prob not good idea
Took me fourty years to find the right man, don’t settle.
I would wait I did the same thing but if I just waited longer I would’ve had both so idk it’s a coin toss.
Sperm donor and ivf… no strings attached
People have found the right one way older than 40. If your not attracted to this guy than don’t get with him and hurt his feelings. Maybe have a Doctor do artificial insemination
I feel if that’s the case and he’s not the “right one” you’re just using him, and it won’t work out for you anyhow
Don’t be selfish and trap a guy you have no interest in.
Adopt there are hundreds of thousands of children out there who need good homes
You do know you can have a baby all by yourself right?! Your trapping the guy your seeing for your own want of a baby! Go to your GYN Dr. You can do artificial insemination with a donor sperm.
If he likes you, he’ll want to do for you. Take the chance, he may be exactly what you’ve been looking for. Then again love finds you when you aren’t looking, good luck
Wait for the right one and get married.
Hi there! There’s several sperm donor groups on FB where men are willing to help. Most groups are vetted and moderated well. I’m 43 and 18 weeks pregnant, though we ended up using a known donor. Good luck!!
Sperm donor, is always an option
I feel like this is unfair to the guy when you won’t be giving him the love he needs because you’re really not into him and simply just using him to have another kid
Why would you get pregnant by a man you aren’t even serious about
Stay with the last option
Order some from a bank and you won’t need a man. You can pick your random dream guy and have it shipped to you
40 isn’t really that old
Adopt. Don’t trap some dude bc you want a baby lol.
Don’t just use someone to have a baby because you want a baby. Wait until you find the right person and a person you’re interested in. My oldest daughter was almost 7 before I had another baby. I never wanted to have kids so far apart but I waited til I was settled with a great man and partner.
This is wild I’m thinking of trapping this one guy that likes me that I don’t really like because I want a baby. People are so weird.
If you want another baby but aren’t with someone you love then use a sperm donor. Don’t be selfish just because you want another baby
If you don’t see yourself marrying him why would you intentionally have a child with him ?
Get artificial insemination, why would you bring a guy you have no interest in into this? That’s selfish.
See were it goes n have another I have two girls special needs hig function ing n I have had four miscarriage s wish u the best
Don’t be selfish! Let that man be if you’re not interested in him. Otherwise, you’re absolutely disgusting to use him for your own gain. Go to a sperm bank and use IVF if you’re that desperate. Or I don’t know? Adopt one of the 100 of thousands of children in foster care.
You don’t need a relationship with a man, to have a baby. Just go to a sperm bank & pick one that’s genetically superior
Cryobank it’s like 700 bucks I think.
You pick the traits you want and they send you the sperm. Don’t trap a man for a baby.
Respectfully, that’s very unfair to him. You’re literally trapping him when you don’t even actually want him, you’d just be using him. That’s pretty cruel and selfish. I’d look into foster/adoption, or even a sp3rm bank
It is not right to play the guy period. What if’s are wrong in such a serious and lifelong decision that can and will effect his and the baby’s life. I think your selfish for even pretending with him now and especially if a child comes to be. If you’re so anxious to have another baby that you would use some unknowing poor guy for it then why not just get a sperm donor and become the single mother of two. Hopefully you can support them both alone unless that’s your real reason for using this poor guy. Shame on you
You really need to just choose artificial insemination. This man deserves more, what happens down the road when you’re sick of living with him. Now you’re going to have to share the child 50/50 and that’s really hard on a kid moving back and forth between Mom and Dad’s on a weekly basis. Neither of you will be able to move very far away without the other person saying okay and you won’t be able to move out of state without them saying okay and just don’t like that. They don’t like one parent being cut out of the kids life. Think about your child. This is not going to be a two-parent family for any amount of time. Try thinking of the child you want to bring into the world instead of just yourself.
Use a sperm donation or wait.
It takes a whole lot more to be a parent and raise a child then simply being attracted to a person of the opposite sex. It’s hard to raise children and having two parents that get along on the same wavelength and love each other is what children hope for and want. They don’t want parents who are divorcing fighting and not in love. Your child will find out eventually that you were not two people in love. Your child will find out dad was attracted to you but you weren’t attracted to him and you stayed with him just to get pregnant. How is your child going to feel? I guarantee as soon as your child is old enough to leave the house and cut you totally out of his or her life, they will!
I mean if you want a baby that bad go to a sperm bank and get ya some swimmers from there… If you aren’t attracted to him and don’t see a future with him, and don’t think you will ever love him, it’s not fair to him that you are essentially just using him for his swimmers. Either wait for the right person, or go get a donor but don’t lead someone on and keep it so that they can’t find their true happiness with someone who actually wants them.
You to old to know better!
Isnt it two peoples decision to have a baby?! This bloke deserves better, look down the route of sperm doners x
It’s super easy to find someone to get you pregnant.
They have actual
Facebook groups for it.
Unless you’re wanting to stay attach for financial support then that’s wrong.
If you don’t love him and actually want the relationship leave him. There’s sperm banks and you can do it alone
Some of you females are really sick. I can’t believe this is even a thought. and clearly that must be why you’re so old and having this issue maybe you should reevaluate your mindset.
Looks arnt everything… js
Don’t rush if Rihanna and Niki Minaj having kids older there is no need to rush ,yes it’s not about just having a baby cos by you having this baby with this guy means that you gonna cos a bond and I’m sure you don’t want to have him by you for life cos you carried his child , pregnancy is a beautiful experience and a baby is a blessing so live life and in due time you will find that someone who wants this as bad as you want it and the most important thing is a child needs to have love so don’t be selfish to bring a baby into this world without stability
May sound crazy but there are men willing ro donate sperm. It’s groups on Facebook.
I wouldn’t stay with him just so u Have a baby thats wrong. if he isnt for you Move on allow him to find someone who IS for HIM.
Lead a guy on to get a baby… sounds legit
Don’t do that to him. He deserves someone who will love and appreciate him.
You must be living together. Are you financially stable on your own? Why are you looking to have another baby if not? These are the question’s that need answered first.
You need to wait for the right man
Don’t have a child with someone you’re not interested in. That’s selfish, and you’d be attached to him for the rest of your life. Don’t do that to him.
Go through a donor… I have two children that were both conceived using donors… feel free to message me! Lol
Just ask the guy, maybe he will be a willing participant to have a baby with you.
You probably should pull the battery out of your biological clock until you have a secure, happy, and mutually attracted relationship, therapists hear an awful lot of “my mother didnt love my father and they split when I was young”
I’ve been TTC for 8 years, since I was 37. I did 5 times, I also ended up with 5 miscarriages. Uhmm… how many women commenting on here are even hovering 40 and TTC? obviously you don’t know the struggle and how real it is. How many women commenting on here is a single mother and doing just fine without support from the father? It’s a two person decision to have a child, no one ever wants or plans for a broken family. You just better be prepared to be strong and a good one if you’re left in that position. All a mother can hope for is the father doesn’t turn out to be some deadbeat loser, if it doesn’t work out. Stop hating woman on woman for no real reason. Single moms are the strongest kind of human. Best wishes on your TTC journey.
Ha e you considered IVF?
I don’t think you need to be having another child. You sound superficial.
I used to work with someone who really wanted kids but couldn’t find the right man. Once she hit 35 she decided to do it on her own through IVF with a sperm donor and she had a beautiful baby girl who is now 2ish and just had another baby also with a sperm donor
Really hope this isn’t real
I’m sorry, but no that sounds like a disaster waiting to happen
Why not go to a sperm bank instead of try to trap some guy that might not even want a baby?
I got that you are using this guy who you don’t like, in order to have another baby. Selfish!!!
Your best bet is a sperm bank don’t lead someone on just for your own convenience
Track your fertile days. Go to an out of town bar, have a one night stand and git. If your lucky you will get pregnant and be a happy single Mom until you are 58. Then track down Mr Lucky and live happily ever after. Follow me for more baby making tips. I got plenty.
personally, i would go and use a doner, if you want another so bad but don’t want to wait because of your age… go for it, why not? that’s why donors exist.
Please don’t reproduce anymore.
Sperm bank. No entanglements.
You COULD adopt… Plenty of neglected children that NEEDS a mom without involving a man…
Why go through the ordeal of finding someone your attractive to and it may never happen… or resulting to sleeping to someone your not attractive to just to have a baby… your ruin your self image for yourself and kick yourself asking WHY did I have HIS baby later…
Both are BAD DECISIONS
I adopt or wait…
I think if you like him try it but don’t use him just because you want a baby
All fine and dandy right until your kids about 4 and crying hysterically bc mommy and daddy aren’t together and she wishes they were so she didn’t have to live between two houses. You know the freaking heartache I go through every time my daughter goes to her dad’s?
I would just suggest doing artificial insemination honestly. That way there isn’t anyone settling down for less than they want.
You’re 40… and asking this? Maybe don’t reproduce anymore…
Please be upfront with him on your intentions
Be happy you were blessed with 1. Some people dont even get that. Maybe consider adoption? Lots of kids want nothing more than unconditional love.
Have you considered adopting? Or even being a foster parent? Why bring a child into the world with a guy you don’t even want to be with? That sounds a bit toxic.
talk to you guy see if he wants a baby, and of not move on.
Just do a Craigslist add “in need of seaman for pregnancy” instead of TRAPPING some poor poor guy! Shame on you, no better than a popsicle hustler
Just go to a sperm bank love. Especially if you want a baby that bad. No need to trap someone. also you don’t want him to resent you or that baby.
Is this……is this foreal?
It’s not fair on that guy. Use a donor. Or fetlife, there are literally groups for this.
Disaster written all over it
Why not do the obvious?talk with him tell him your feeling …you want a baby but not a relashionship…he’ll probably be happy to oblige…and stick around and probably be an awesome dad …some men are smart like monkeys …be good to the babies and they get favoured …it’s your heart he might want favor …or do the old stand by bar trick
Unreal what I just read!!!
You say that you’re not attracted to him but that you could have a meaningful relationship with him… So something about him must attract you to him?
I hope the guy see’s this post and runs like hell and never looks back,because you are a rotten person to do that.
Look into AF, your idea is ridiculous.
Children are not pawns. Relationships aren’t a game. This is what is wrong with this country. The lack of family and respect for what a family is has been lost. Kids today have lost the most important aspect of what life is about. Having a good parent team is crucial in raising a strong child into a responsible respectful adult
Consider donor insemination.
Why don’t you just do artificial insemination?
This is unfair to him.
I’d consider donor sperm. Then you don’t even have to worry about a BD of a relationship goes south. And one day you could have a meaningful relationship that results in the child being adopted by whoever you’re in a meaningful relationship with. Honestly I wish I’d gone that route lol
If you are not attracted to him its not fair on him to go there, it will not work
My son is 3 in May and I’ve been a solo mum the whole time. I have just started the private donor process to have another baby. No weird custody battles that way.
Reverse this and say it again…
"I’m not attracted to her but she’s attracted to me. I want a child so do I settle and see where it goes or do I just wait*
What would say to that?
Dont use someone for a baby…
Good god, this is why men don’t trust us. I can’t believe woman actually think like this
Girl you are a red flag
Wow you’re just wrong for the way you think lol. If you want a child that bad go get artificially inseminated, surrogate or adopt. Using a guy to get pregnant is so wrong on so many levels
Why do you need a steady man to have a baby?
Be honest and tell men in your life you aren’t looking for anything right now you just want a baby, or do artificial insemination. You have options. Don’t use a guy. How would you like it if someone treated you like that? Or your child grows up and he/she gets treated this way? You need to set the example.
Go get ivf and pick a sperm donor don’t ruin this dudes life
Theyre probably grateful this is anonymous.
Using someone for a baby and “well i guess ill see what happens”
There is so many with your post. You dont use people for children