Did you ask them what kind of funeral they want ? Did I read that ?? Sweet JAYSUS
Said it before keep ya family shit off Facebook,sort it out in house…
I could get real mad and very rude right now. It’s absolutely NONE OF YOU BUSINESS what this person weighs. End of discussion. Your kids are getting paid to help clean up and do chores. How could they possibly be taken advantage of? If they (or you) don’t like the situation then stop it. The way this person shops is also none of your business. Just in case it wasn’t clear - Stop the conversation about weight loss or a therapist. You could be causing more harm than good. They are a human being just like you and deserves to be treated as such.
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Give Em covid. See how they feel.
Only thing which can help them is Saxenda or Victozia or Wegovy… 
Wait is this post from a member of my family calling me fat 
You’ve tried! Let it go.
Oh fkn boohoo, stop being an asshole. If you don’t want your kids working for your family member, then say that. Their weight is genuinely none of your business. If you feel like you are contributing to their lifestyle THEN STOP. ITS NOT HARD.
To me it sounds like your family member is going through something MUCH worse than weight gain. They obviously have some mental health battles which is again NONE of your business. You can either choose to LOVE them (i.e. let them make their own decisions about their life) or you can continue doing what you’re doing which is only pushing them further into these habits.
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There’s so much happening here. Your enabling the family member period. Secondly they sound like they need much more help than you can give. This sounds like depression and other things. Many people that are depressed eat and shop. However it sounds like you came here to ridicule. You sound smart enough to know what’s happening. She’s not making you obese. She’s not making you help her. So stop. Just stop. Love this person unconditionally and also stop asking them how’d they like their funeral.
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Give them a break.
By a break, I mean break them off a piece of a Kit-Kat Bar.
Imagine telling on yourself like this
You are making everything about yourself, which is extremely self absorbed. Maybe being around you causes your family member to isolate and medicate with food. Maybe you could back off, give space, and allow others to help instead of being a controlling, judgmental, expert at their life…it couldn’t hurt, in fact it would give then a chance to decompress.
we will pray for them…
Maybe just love them as they are…
Wow all I can say is wow …
Write them off. They’re likely too far gone to change.
Something Iv learned in the military is you can’t save everyone. If they want to be fat and lazy committing a slow suicide, that’s on them. You did all you could. Some people will fill themselves with excuses to sit around and be worthless. It’s one of this you can lead a horse to water moments.
You can get a disability check if you are obese and they probably don’t want to lose that check
Dear Abby, call Ann Landers.
Yes tell them they will die, my nephew lost two obese family members in 45 days. Late 20’s and early 30’s
Have you tried minding your own business?
Stop enabling your relative.
wow too much to read
Mind your own business
You don’t you tired and it didn’t work.its none of your business. They don’t want your help
Morbid obesity is not okay and neither should it be enabled. If the relative refuses to get help and make healthy choices, I would not allow my children to be around them. They are toxic and a bad role model.
You can’t save someone who doesn’t want saved. What would jesus do? You add to this person’s feelings of worthlessness with your anger. If it bothers you so much that your family members obesity triggers you then your the one that needs therapy. Focus on positive things you can do in your own life. When your family member asks your kids to do their work simply say i love you but i wont enable you. Im sorry. No. Then let it go…
it’s. none. of. your. business.
mind your own business ~
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Gotta let go of the situation. Stop helping.
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You sound fatphobic af and it’s disgusting. If them existing makes you so angry then just excuse yourself from their life. Leave them alone and worry about yourself.
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Wait, do you think they don’t know they are obese?
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Its going to take a health scare for them to want change. Like heart problems and diabetes
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You can’t help those that won’t help themselves.
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If you dont want to help, stop helping. But you cant force people to do what they dont want to do. Also, all of this seems to be about how YOU feel, which is extremely rude and selfish of you. You are absolutely not helping the situation at all.
Either love them the way they are, or cut them out of your life completely if you can’t, and plan to continue being judgemental.
Im overweight myself and it makes me feel absolutely horrible when people comment on my weight. And trust me, it doesn’t do anything to make me want to lose it. In fact, it makes me stress eat. Part of my issue is hormones. I have PCOS and even with a healthy diet and exercise, I can only maintain my weight, not lose it. I need medication (metformin) to make my body better at using insulin. When I’m taking it is the ONLY time I can manage to lose weight.
For all you know this person may have a medical reason themselves for not losing weight. Either way, it’s not your place to judge or shame them.
Food addiction is like drug addiction. This person is not going to do it because you think they should. Until they are ready, they will make every excuse in the book. Losing weight on your own is hard too. You resolve yourself to do it, but when your trying, all you think about is food. I had gastric bypass 7 years ago. But you still need counciling to fix the mental issues that cause you to overeat. Most the time overeating is for emotional comfort. Even now, I will overeat until I throw up. Not a lot of times, but I have. And if a person doesn’t fix most of that addiction, they will overeat and just stretch the stomach back out. You have to have support from those in your household. From your family when you go to family get together. The person is NOT going to be able to do it until they are ready to do it for themselves. That’s the reality. I don’t blame you for being angry. I never got so heavy I couldn’t care for myself or my house. Just that I couldn’t do the things with my kids they wanted to. My awakening was taking a patient down to ICU, not remembering where the elevator was and having to climb the stairs up with a co-worker. I was mortified. My friend that had it gently talked with me about how much better she felt. But still the point is, they will not do it until THEY ARE READY.
You make your own choices, help or dont… and they have to make their own as well. All you can do is be responsible for yourself. Trying to control another just isn’t sustainable for anyone.
Everyone one dies lol if they are happy leave them alone and stop being so judgmental. People say stupid crap like this to me all the time guess what it does? Makes me more depressed and withdrawn and makes me crave comfort guess what my comfort happens to be… FOOD! Leave them alone if they are happy and don’t care then you shouldn’t care. Everyone dies it happens… a woman I’ve known my whole life that was perfectly healthy and is now dying of stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I would much rather die of a heart attack which is much quicker than the 4 heartbreaking weeks I’ve been watching her deteriorate and see her in constant pain pleading to die…
Maybe your family member is caught in a cycle. You and most likely others on your circle complain that they are over weight body shame which makes them feel poorly about themselves which makes a lot of people eat more (for comfort). There could be an underlying medical condition (or an emotional issue) help them get to a doctor or therapist. Stop your body shaming.
I agree with a MAJORITY of these people. You’re enabling them by the things you’re doing. This is their choice and it’s unhealthy for YOU to be like this worrying. Walk away.
Being overweight dosen’t mean you are lazy.
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My family and I had a similar situation and we stopped helping mad we dont feel bad and we do feel better. You can love someone but not their choices. You can provide all the help they need but it has to be them to choose the help. I’d stop giving them the help. All the help you are giving them isnt helping them. They need to see it for themselves and if not it’s their choice. Live on with your life and pray for better health for them. They dont want the help it seems.
I agree with Marilyn Olson. If they don’t agree then it is totally up to them without your enabling. They can hire someone. But don’t remove your love obvious it’s émotional.
I was a almost 400 lbs and a doctor told me I was going to die just like my mom. ( he did not know my mom but told me what the diseases were that were going to attack my body. But he also told me with the amount of weight I had to lose I could not do it on my own. He asked me to please attend a bariatric seminar. My husband and I went together and made the decision to have the least invasive procedure (lapband) in 9 months I lost 150lbs. ( I was very aggressive with this since I knew it was all in my attitude) before surgery I had a lot of classes to attend.
My case was very unusual for the amount of weight. It has been almost 15 years and I am about
172 pounds lighter than I was 15 years ago.
My family has many overweight family members and lots of heart issues and diabetes. Being overweight is not a choice I made for myself in second grade I was in children’s plus clothing.
There are alot of issues to being
Overweight besides overeating. And with such a large amount of weight to lose…I agree it was more than I could handle on my own. Yes I did do weight loss clinics and went to the gym and walked track and the tread mill. Worked the weights also. Sometimes the body needs a boost.
Stop being at their beck and call. Obviously you don’t enjoy it at all. Seems like more of a burden than anything. Let them hire professional cleaners for their house. Whenever they get tired of their situation then they will do something to change it. Be supportive from a distance. You tried, now it’s up to them.
Also, would you like someone asking you what kind of funeral you want? Cuz your intentions might seem well to you. But, they don’t come off that way at all.
First of all, have you thought maybe all these signs is mental health issues? Cuz those of you who have never been mentally ill will never understand how people let things go. Has this person suffered loss or a tragedy or maybe something you have no idea about. Maybe instead of judging, find out why this person is surviving and not just living? Again, you sound super judgemental as wrote this so maybe the “nice ways” brought it up wasn’t so nice and instead increased this person’s anxiety. Again, understand caring about someone’s weight, however maybe just getting thru day is more important than what they weigh. Are you 100% positive know this person so well, you just assume their fat and lazy? That’s kinda how made this person sound fyi. So hope this person cannot see how you truly feel.
I have seen various programms of obese persons on TV.
What impresses me most is that they are blessed with a good income.Food at a grand scale is very expensive.Then they afford to pay for your children to clean their home.They order online and discard what they do not like.A squandering lifestyle.Many excuses are manufactured due to their obese lifestyle.You and your family have cared about your gluttonous family members for a long time.You fear for their ordeal upon you! DON’T!!! WALK AWAY!!!
IT TAKES GUTS TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND.
GIVE THEM A LIST OF OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM AND TELL THEM YOU AND YOU FAMILY WILL LEAVE THEM TO DECIDE.
ONCE THEY HAVE DECIDED THEY CAN CONTACT YOU.
Care about your family.
All the best.
⚘
I feel like you’re coming from a good place and are concerned for their health but it seems like you have exhausted yourself to the point of frustration. You can’t force someone to change. I’ve seen that you’ve offered help with their physical and mental health and are getting nothing but push back so just let it go. Stop helping and stop badgering them. I would even consider just distancing yourself as much as possible.
Instead of offering to help them find a therapist… Dr… whatever…
Why don’t you get a list of names and phone numbers for this person…
Get them a calorie counter book…so when they eat that pizza they know it’s like about 400 calories per slice or more…
Give him/her information…and tell them you have my number call me when your ready to help yourself and then leave…
If they don’t want to help themselves then there is not much you can do for them. Ask them to look up stuff on adult adhd, if that is the issue (procrastination, adhd paralysis, overwhelmed but what a neurotypical would find a normal chore) you’re medication may guy be the answer. Most people over, especially woman didn’t get diagnosed as kids unless they were a “problem”.
I don’t think there’s really any other way to tell them besides just being straight up. Tell them you & your children will no longer be able to help. Tell them you love them dearly but you just can’t watch as they don’t do anything to help themselves. I know it’s hard, but if they won’t help themselves then there isn’t much you can do… which is hard because you love them but it’s just the truth. They need to want it. The same goes for an intervention… they may agree in the moment but unless it’s something they truly want and will work for it, theyll end up back the same habits. & I would let them know you’ll always be there for moral support especially when it comes to their health and weight loss journey. Just remember you aren’t selfish or a bad person. Everyone has to set boundaries at a certain point, and it sounds like your feelings toward the situation won’t change unless they do.
Just let them get on with it. You can only help a person so much. Regardless of mental health, weight etc, its emotional blackmail. You have your own life to live too. It may sound selfish but how long until your own mental health it compromised. If people want help they will accept it, if not then they will never change.
Stop your children helping straight away. Its not fair on them even if they are being paid. You are being made to feel if you are obliged to help and you are not. One piece of advice I was told when I was quite young, is no one owes any one anything. Concentrate on your own family, life is too short at the moment, they are the ones who need you the most.
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Call hoarders . Sounds like the exact thing they deal with. Usually the hoarding, buying , eating is caused by grief over some type of loss . You don’t have to help them just do what you can and what your kids want to do for pay but it’s not your place to feel obligated and if it’s making you resentful that’s a sign to stop doing so much.
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You have to do what is right for you and your family. It is great that you have been helping but if they aren’t willing to help themselves its time leave the toxic relationship. Its not worth the strain you are feeling. Only one question if think you need to ask yourself. Can I live with myself when this person dies knowing I did everything I could have.
You need to cut them out of your life and love them from afar… Sometimes the most painful option is the only one they hear. At this point, you are enabling then and making it worse.
If she wants stay like that not help herself and ultimately end up dead through a heart attack then that’s her choice …u can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped 
If ur children want to help them then let them it’s not hurting u and it’s earning them some money …I think u need to give up …people have to be ready and if they’re not they won’t do it .
Let the kids continue to help & make sure they are being appropriately compensated. Tell them to treat it like an actual job (have a set schedule & no more on call type of stuff). Maybe that way you won’t feel like they are being taken advantage of. As for you helping, maybe go see a therapist yourself for some suggestions on how you can help this person.
My brother was 440 lbs at the time of his death. He didnt like being overweight, and he sure as hell didnt want to hear about it from family members. He heard enough insults and jokes from outsiders, he didnt want to hear it from people he loved. So yes, i understand why your family member gets defensive. If you truly loved them then you wouldnt be complaining so much. At over 500 lbs there isnt much they can do to lose short of being hospitalized. If they dont have insurance or alot of money, guess what…they cant go that route. I am sure they are depressed, i am sure they didnt want their life to be this way, and i am sure they werent always “lazy” You should be more sympathetic to them, instead of bitching about how tough it is for you! Imagine being trapped in your own body unable to do much of anything for yourself!
Mind your Business and if your kids are being paid to assist and that bothers you then you really need to reevaluate your thinking process. Everything is about you and what bothers you and this and that I think you need to seriously step aside and just leave them alone
Walk away knowing you tried and maybe then they will find it necessary to help themselves
If they pay what is your problem. If they don’t care and you’ve tried myob.
I personally would let my kids help if they want to. Everyone has to live with the choices they make. I’d just love them and quit worrying about it. We have to accept people for what they are.
Just leave them alone about it. Thier body and thier life to live. Tell them you love them and talk about other pleasant things
I so could of been writing this about one of my family members. Alot of there problem is just pure laziness and hand to mouth disease .
Going to share your post as you have put into words what most of the family feels.