I’m so annoyed at the moment. I’m getting married in September and that date has been set for a year and a half or better and I’ve said to my sisters and mom on multiple occasions that I’d like to have a shower but I don’t want to throw my own bridal shower by myself on top of planning a whole wedding because to me that’s a lot of extra stress I didn’t think I could honestly handle (massive overthinker and stress is my middle name) so tonight my aunt asked me if I was having one and when. I told her I’m not having one due to not wanting to throw my own by myself and nobody even offered to help or throw one so she offered and was mad my sisters didn’t at least offer. So I told my mom and sisters in our group chat that our aunt offered and both my sisters responded with I didn’t know you wanted one…the same thing happened for my bachelorette party, I planned the whole thing. I was asked by my sisters so many times what I wanted to do for my Bach party and each time I gave them the same answers but when the party got closer they kept asking what I wanted to do or claiming they didn’t know what I wanted to do so they didn’t plan nor were going to plan anything due to not wanting to pick things I didn’t actually want to do so I just planned it all. Maybe I’m being dramatic but I feel so unseen and unheard when it comes to showers or any party that’s supposed to be thrown for me. I literally cried when my aunt offered because I finally had this feeling of actually being a tiny bit special. I’ve had two baby showers my my two kids and I threw those myself as well because nobody wanted to plan anything or help me. It just sucks.
Sounds like they just don’t want to do these things but don’t want to come out and say that so they just act dumb. Like they have no clue so they will be off the hook for it. I’d definitely let your aunt do it and from now on I wouldn’t even expect them to do anything.
Accept that your mother & sisters can never be expected to follow through on anything. Love but never rely on. And recognize that it seems you have a kind & wonderful supporter in your aunt! Unlikely alis are great to discover.
I had to remember my special day was my special day not everyone else’s and did what I could and was thankful for any extra help
What a shame, so sorry this is happening to you. To your sisters: EVERYONE WANTS A BABY AND BRIDAL SHOWER:bangbang:
. Everyone.
My older sister is the same… 3 babies and this is my 2nd wedding (1st one we eloped) and she’s never even so much as pitched in (and she’s more than financially capable)
I totally get where you’re coming from… It hurts to think someone so close to you has no interest in celebrating these big moments with you
But like others have said you can’t expect you from others 
Don’t listen to anyone that says your feelings aren’t valid! 
… first time I got married … I planned my own bridle shower… never did another planned event for my self again …
with my first son I had a surprise shower cuz I had nothing.an was nice having it planned by my mom… I not had a baby shower for my second or 3rd but thst ok …I saved clothing…
when I got married the second time during covid… we had a small wedding . there was no bath party for either of us , no buck an dow …nothing … an no honeymoon either lol but we spent time with our small family an thst what matter most. my hubby my best friend
so ya it nice if others plan it but now adays you gotta either speak up an ask or don’t worry about it …
after we got married we took our boys with us an enjoyed a trip to medival times …best wedding reception for us .
Maid of honor?!? I didn’t have one as I didn’t care but had I wanted one I would’ve planned it myself so we did the things I enjoyed and invited the peeps I wanted…
Yes it does. Been there more times than I can count. Keep your head up and always stay close to your Aunt she showed she cares. Action speak volumes.
Wow! I didn’t have a bridal shower, batchelorette party or baby shower . How have I survived 41 years knowing I didn’t have all of that? I was just thrilled to be marrying the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with! My Dad and Mom paid for our wedding.
Are they in the wedding party? That’s who should throw a shower.
My family didn’t throw me a bridal shower because I was eloping. I wish they did. My coworkers felt bad so they gave me one.
Do you not have a maid of honor or bridesmaids? Or are your sisters your bridesmaids? I thought it was usually those roles that would organize it traditionally at least. I know exactly how you feel, I felt that way around my own wedding. I didn’t have all the extra little parties because it was a small wedding. BUT if I did it would have been my responsibility to sit with someone and actually plan it or see if they were actually up for taking the reigns and handling it themselves. Close mouths don’t get fed. They’ve probably been waiting on you to have a more serious conversation. Hope everything works out for you though and I hope you have a beautiful wedding!
I’ve always thought that you have one baby shower and one bridal shower. If you’ve already been married, have kids, you should be set up already.
So, you want to throw a party honoring yourself, and you want people to bring presents because you are honoring yourself. This is what it sounds like. In the past, I was taught that showers were not given by family, but by friends or parents friends, and only for the first marriage (and first baby). Gifts are to help set up housekeeping or set up for the first new baby. If you are already housekeeping, either alone or with someone, you should already have that stuff. And baby stuff is reusable, except for diapers and that sort of thing.
If your aunt wants to do it just have her. If you have any friends that want to attend then do that and maybe they may help your aunt out to plan it. If your sisters didn’t want to help then don’t. you don’t have to have them part of it. It’s your day, you do what makes you happy. Nobody else matters at this point. Just do you and your hubby.
I have always thought a shower should be a surprise given by someone else because you should never “expect” someone else to “give” you anything. If they do, that is all just fine and wonderful, but it should never be expected
Just my opinion. I guess times are changing and I am just old school.
Your bridal party should be throwing you a bridal shower and Bachelorette party.
Your maid of honor or best friend sho I ld do this.
Yes it would have been nice of them to ask, but they are not obligated to throw you a party. I didn’t have a Bachelorette or Bridal Shower and I am not throwing a pitty party. Would I have liked to have those things? Yes but I married my husband because I love him not so I could have parties thrown for me.
Wait… there’s a shower too? I learned something new, I’m engaged and never been to a wedding, or anything like that, also never as a little girl or ever dreamt of being married. But here I am learning new things.
But as for your mom and sisters sounds like they don’t really care. but I’m glad your aunt is helping.n
I didn’t care if I had a shower. I was just excited to marry my soulmate and love of my life. Didn’t have a bachelorette party and my husband didn’t have a bachelor party. This October will be 23 years we have been married
Just don’t invite your sisters to your wedding!!!
I never had a bridal shower. No big deal really. I think they’re kind of outdated and not necessarily that important. Keep in mind you also have the bachelorette and also the night of the rehearsal dinner too. They could also be working on a surprise shower for you too. Maybe instead of stressing about this, just take it easy and look forward to the wedding and reception itself. I didn’t even care about a bridal shower honestly. My focus was just on the wedding itself.
Save your energy for your special day and future of Mrs hubbys name!
My friends would be the ones doing it for me, not my siblings, tbh.
Send this to your sisters…
Have you planned showers and Bachelorettesfor your friends and family when it was their turn?
I thought it was always the responsibility of the Maid of honor to plan the bachelorette party and the shower. Was back in my day anyway. 
Sounds like they don’t have the means, but could still offer to come together, such as with your Aunt and help. Get communication in writing by text with them in the future, if they say they want to help or do something. When time comes closer and those remarks are made, you can reforward the documented information. However, they may not throw a very nice or fun event if they have no means or heart is not into it. Just accept that you know this about them. Be appreciative to your Aunt. Reciprocate with those that do care and don’t go out of your way to your sisters where you don’t need to.
Find someone else to do it
If I were you, I wouldn’t expect anything from anyone. Be happy your aunty is looking out for you. Some people don’t have much but they’re grateful for the little blessings they get
Maybe they can’t afford it? If so, give them a break!
Alot of miserable people in these comments. Your feelings are valid. Your bridal party should be planning these things. It definitely sucks but it teaches you who you can count on or not. I wouldnt expect anything from them and I wouldnt go out of my way to help them either. Congratulations on your wedding!
Do you have a ‘Maid of Honor’?? Traditionally that’s who throws the bach and the bridal.
Yikes! Save the drama and added stress. Send out your gift registry list and focus on the wedding. Boom! 2 birds, 1 stone. You got gifts, you’ll see them at the wedding.
Maybe its suppose to be a surprise …
Who is your wedding party? They are the ones who throw the shower…
Some people aren’t good at either catching hints or being organized (maybe both)
I think an upfront “I’d like a shower and I’d like my sisters to help me organize it.”
I think it’s silly to beat around the bush and then get upset when someone doesn’t get the hint, right?
What about one of your bridesmaids giving you a shower or even someone from the grooms side. It dies not have to
Be someone from your family
it is weird to have a bridal shower for a second marriage. Since you have had two children, you likely have everything you need to run a household by now. Bridal showers are for those who arejust starting out. It is also odd that you had your own baby showerso…rather inproper to me. That is just my opinion. I think you need to grow up and get over yourself.
Is this your first wedding? If not, showers not always given. Are you close with your mom and sisters? Usually the maid of honor handles the shower, and makes sure everything fmgies smooth from A-Z.
Sounds like you love planning and parties/celebrations but you shouldn’t expect everyone else to.
I’d do this for my sister/friend but they better not be feeling like I’m obligated to.
Stop expecting YOU from other people.
I understand completely, my daughter is getting married in August and in the past bridal showers were hosted by the Aunts in my family aka my sisters Not one of my family offered to host it. So I planned it all and when it got close they offered to help and bring food. It was disappointing. The shower was nice. I am #7 of 8 kids and often don’t feel heard.
i had no baby shower, no wedding shower and no bachelorette party and I’m still alive. The important things are a healthy baby and about pledging your love to another human. It’s not about the gifts. If you have 2 kids already I’m assuming you’ve been out on your own for a while running a household with the proper necessities-what more could you need
Maybe they were going to throw one for you as a surprise?
I didn’t have any bachelorette, nor bridal shower or baby showers… I survived & bought what I needed…. Guess it’s up to every individual….
Your maid of honor has that responsibility, not your family.
Just here to say your not alone sister 
I didn’t have a bachelorette party or bridal shower because no one offered.
You are too MUCH!!!
The entitlement of some people is so damn real
2 kids in I wouldn’t expect a shower or a Bachelorette party. Clearly you’ve been off the market for a while and already playing house.
Why do you expect for others to throw you BOTH parties? Maybe they don’t have the money. If you want something for YOUR wedding, then throw it yourself. Not everyone has the means to do so. Are they in your wedding and already having to fork out money for the dresses, etc? Plus, I’m sure they will be bringing a gift to the actual wedding, and you want more?!?!? 
you sound spoiled and entitled.
Don’t stress can still have one have 2 months we had a bridal/grooms side dinner a month prior, your letting that stress you out, its normally maid of honours job unless one or both are your sisters, have you also told them you’d like one or just expect them to know you want one,!
I thought friends threw the showers, not family.
Maybe they are planning a surprise. It’s still 2 months away. RELAX.
Are your sisters your maid of honors?
Bridal shower and bachelorette parties are paid for by the bride planned by the maid of honor imo
I feel you, I sent all my invitations out and I’m not getting any RSVP’S and no one is going on our wedding registry. I’ve been so sad because of it, everyone always
Told me growing up how you get wedding gifts and you feel
Special yet it’s not happening
For me:(
Honestly sounds like a communication breakdown… you said they asked what you wanted. Maybe they need a direct answer on what you want to do? Or maybe you are wanting something they can’t afford.
Well I’ve never had a baby shower or any kind of party for myself. Used to bother me, but now it’s just about making my children happy n doing for them. Maybe don’t invite ur sisters?
Hey dear. Can I host your bridal shower in my Indian way. Lemme know. Love and hugs. You are special and you know it.
All these parties are a waste of money to be honest .
Someone who I thought was my best friend planned my baby shower but made me pay for everything. Supposed best friend and didn’t pay for anything. I felt that feeling too but in the end her true colors came out and that was the easiest “break up” I’ve ever had lol. It was such a weight off my shoulders to not have to deal with her anymore. Anyway, people won’t know how you feel if you don’t verbalize it to them sometimes. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but you have to talk to them about it.
If you are living together or previously married it is assumed you don’t need a bridal shower. You mention kids. I assume you already have a home set up. I was under the impression that the baby shower is for the first baby only. Have you ever done showers for your sisters? Sorry if I am wrong.
Your sisters should be ashamed and Your Mom.Maid of honor if you have one should have gotten things together and asked them to help.
You can tell this is American. Bridal showers are only a thing there. Never heard of them being done anywhere else.
I guess they just don’t like you much
I feel the same I threw my 1st baby shower, then threw almost my 2nd someone stepped in cuz I was about cancel it and I ended up in preterm labor.
I’m currently planning my 1st birthday party( my parents threw me one but it was awful memories and the focus wasn’t on me so it doesn’t count) solo 
sucks cuz its literally in a backyard and won’t have decorations other than what I find online:(
Maybe they’re not in a financial position to throw it but don’t want to say.
Okay, I had none of those things you mentioned and we’re all good even without it. No one has to do anything for you, but yes it would be nice for someone to do something. You can throw yourself one and ask your friends to help, you are the one wanting to get married. Just like your baby showers, you are the one who’s bringing children into this world, no one has to do anything for you, those showers and items are to help you not give you what you’re in need of. Smh.
Where’s your maid of honor? Maybe she’ll help
I mean that’s a lot to ask financially maybe they just don’t have the money to be able to throw you one
I always thought it was seen as inappropriate for the immediate family to host showers, and that it was the role of friends or other family members (like your aunt) to do so. If you’re not just starting off living on your own, why do you need one? No toaster, dish towels, corkscrew or sheets?
Also, your sisters have shown you who they are, so believe them. They don’t like throwing parties, don’t have time or money in their busy lives to plan and pay for one, or feel you are being selfish and entitled and don’t want to fuel that. Count on them for other types of support, but not event planning. Maybe they feel like you wouldn’t reciprocate?
Remember the important thing to plan for is the marriage, and how you’re going to weather decades of ups and downs together, not the wedding and it’s attendant parties. If you’re focused on the celebration and not the vows and your life together, don’t get married.
I can understand seeing as I had to throw my own baby shower even though people kept saying they were going to plan it for me. Sometimes we just have to suck it up and plan our own events because nobody is going to care about your special day the way you do.
the littlest violin is playing just for you… 
Usually old school it’s friends of the bride and groom and their parents friends who throw bridal showers …Teas and parties.
Ita the maid of honour or head bridesmaid that does it who ever u picked for your wedding that does the shower/hen night
For baby shower its usually your best friend
Am very sorry these things weren’t done but am glad your auntie offered in the end xx
They don’t have to do anything!! It would be nice if they did.
Soooo sad. SHAME. SHAME ON THEM. That’s just too crazy !!!
Isn’t that the Maid of Honor’s job?
Did you select one of your friends to be your Maid of Honor? If that’s the case, maybe that’s why your sisters aren’t trying to throw a shower for you. Also, not for nothing maybe you shouldn’t be expecting people to throw parties for you. Were you also expecting them to pay for your bridal shower? If so, that might be another issue. I totally understand that your wedding day is very important to YOU, but you have to understand that your sisters have their own things going on too. Since the shower is usually taken care of by the maid of honor, maybe you should give the role to your aunt. 
Sounds like your being over sensitive as most brides are
In the big scheme of things
Is a bridal that big of a deal
Who is your maid of honor? It’s her job. It’s not your mom or sisters job to do this. Maybe they don’t have time or funds to do it 
don’t expect others to make your priority their priority. Tell your aunt thank you and enjoy it. Ask MOH or BFF to throw bachelorette party if you want one… I didn’t have any of these extra things but if u want it then plan and pay for it
Thank goodness for your aunt for wanting to throw you a shower thank her immensely tell her what you would maybe like shame on your sisters family members and your bridesmaid who is supposed to be doing this because from etiquette the bridesmaid is supposed to be doing this
I’m sorry, that does suck. Totally understandable to feel the way you do. Obviously I don’t know this given we only have one post to go off but it sounds like it’s a them issue. Meaning maybe party planning or big social events aren’t their thing? If they are consistent in their actions with everyone (example…has one sister thrown any showers for your other? Or are they consistent with not doing for each other?) then I would encourage you to not take it personally. I know that can be tough, but most of the time when folks are jerks or whatever you will they’re just reflecting their issues on the recipient. If the recipient knows that then hopefully some feelings can be spared. Also just wondering…why not just straight up ask your sisters what the plan is? Especially because in the post you mention them showing interest and asking you questions. I don’t really get why you couldn’t just be like “hey guys, wondering what dates you had in mind to throw the bridal shower?” They’re your sisters so I don’t personally think it would be too forward to do. Good luck and congrats on your upcoming marriage.
all those parties that people throw seem like such a waste of money anyway. How many events does a person need for a wedding? Maybe your sisters aren’t party throwing people or they don’t have the means to throw a party for you. Maybe they just don’t care to throw one, either way expectations are the root of most peoples stress. Nobody is suppose to throw any parties for you, and when they do it’s basically suppose to be your friends or maid of honor. But even then it should be discussed and if nobody offers then you throw your own or don’t have one.
U had ya batchelorette party already?? It’s 18 months to ya wedding
Oh wow…ok well first off, would it be nice? Yes. But you are the ones who want to get married, if you can’t handle the stress of it all then don’t do it…don’t expect people to do stuff for you when you are the one who chose to do something you don’t want to do. It’s not the old times. Stuff has changed. If you can’t just come out an ask people to help or do something, do it yourself… that’s how you get stuff done.
Personally I’d tell them to kiss my A . I wouldn’t invite sisters or mommy to it . I literally paid for my daughter’s bachelorette party . Bridal party went in on the room we split it for the weekend . I paid all daughters meals for the weekend anything she needed and gambling money . I just think your family sucks personally . Before ppl start going down my throat I’m not made of money by a long shot it’s called putting back 20 here and there . I’m
Because bridesmaids should be doing all of that
Holy Bridezilla!! You think the world revolves around you and everyone can read your mind. If I had a sister like that, I wouldn’t even go to her wedding! Bye Felicia! 
I haven’t had any type of party for myself since I was like 12…that was 27 years and 6 kids ago 
Omg people really? Lmao real lufe problems
They’re not obligated to spend money & throw you parties just because you’re getting married lol
A bachelorette party AND a shower? Mmm That feels a bit much… Your feelings are valid albeit misguided - just expecting your sisters to throw all these things for you is coming across a little self centred. They likely have their own lives with a lot happening for them too. They might not even like parties? I hate parties, so only plan the very essential ones and only attend very essential parties. 2 parties leading up to a 3rd big party is FAR OUT!
This is coming across as entitled
I am getting married next year and would never expect a bridal shower or bachelorette party. You don’t need 3 events to celebrate and be centered around you. The wedding is the most important thing. You will get plenty of items at your wedding. I guess I just don’t like all the attention, it freaks me out. Haha
I understand your feelings being hurt, but you should never expect anyone to do anything for you! Ever! There will be plenty of attention given to you on your wedding day. Not having a bridal shower isn’t the end of the world.
It’s sad but I suggest surrounding yourself with ppl that put effort into you as much as you them. If they can’t put in the effort why should you. It’s will just make you depressed and sometimes letting family and friends go is needed. Definitely stay close to your aunt, since you have been verbal of your wants with your family and they seemed to just dismiss.
So don’t have a bridal shower… If they didn’t plan it and its “too stressful” for u to do, just don’t have one…
Who is your maid of honor cause that is usually handled by them. Don’t let little things get in the way of family or your special day
Its the maid of honors job. But maybe they can’t afford it. To me all that stuff is overrated anyways.