I wanted to get advice. My husband and I have been planning for a year now to have our last baby next year. This is not something we discuss with anyone but ourselves. We like to keep our baby-making plans private. Someone we are close to is getting married next year (it was supposed to be 2-3 years originally). I am in the wedding. Now, whether we have a little one or not, I can still be at the wedding. I would either have a young baby (this is not a child-free wedding, and some of my family would be there to help) or be pregnant if everything went as planned. She has recently brought up to me that someone else at the wedding is planning to be pregnant at the time of the wedding and she is really upset about it. I honestly am not sure what to do. I am not getting any younger and do not want to have my last one after a certain age. I had every intention of trying before she was ever engaged. So do I put my family on hold even though I have been planning this for a year, or do I just go about my life and hope she doesnât hate me? I want to be by her side for her big day, but I also want to start wrapping up my life and family before it is too late. Iâm so conflicted.
You donât put your family on hold for someone else thatâs insane
You donât put your family on hold for someone elseâs weddingâŚ
If you are truly close to this person- she shouldnât have anything but happiness in her heart when you get pregnant. You should absolutely NOT put your family plans on hold because youâre in a wedding.
I would definitely put your family first, if she is truly your friend she will understand.
You do what you want, it is your family. If she has a problem with it, ask her to move the wedding date.
Get prego, a true friend would be happy for you, regardless of the timing, in the end.
BRIDEZILLA ALERT!!! Your friend is being selfish to even think that way.
You and your family come first! If she really cares about sheâll understand, if not your not missing anything!
Donât put your life on hold for anyone dear. Littles are precious
This isnât even a question. Have that baby. Your âfriendâ can kick rocks.
Bridezilla 
dont put your family on hold for that. This person should be happy for you not cause such a thing. Itâs none of her business if and when you get pregnant.
Why would you even have to tell her it was a whole plan? Like ooops Iâm pregnant. So happy. Yay.
I wouldnât be in the wedding. 
I was asked to.be in my friends wedding. Way before I got.pregnant. I said yes because I got them together orginally. It was a blessing. After I found out I was pregnant. I had to tell.her I was 5 months by the time the wedding rolled around. She was so.happy for me. She was more mad about the other bridesmaid who hid it from her that she was also pregnant be open and honest if it happens.
you do NOT need to put your life on hold for that. If you are pregnant by the time of her wedding and sheâs upset than it is her problem. Itâs messed up that sheâs angry the other woman is pregnant and she should not be treating her friends that way. Iâm sorry but I feel she needs to grow up. You do you and if she gets mad or kicks you out of the wedding than let her.
Tell her to like it or lump it, itâs not down to her whether you get pregnant or not⌠Donât put it on hold for her xx
who cares what she wants! Itâs your life!
I find it hard to believe that a person would be so incredibly selfish to be upset that people in her wedding party are pregnantâŚ
Sounds like this person is not grown up. Pretty childish to expect people to put their lives on hold for her wedding.
U canât put ur family on hold for others. My friend was pregnant for my wedding and she still went to my Bach and was in my wedding. I was pregnant for my friendâs wedding after and I went to her Bach at 30 weeks and was totally fun! Sheâs being selfishâŚ
Well, I know Iâm still very young. But I think you should explain this to your friend and if she gets angry I think she will get over it. If she is a good friend she will understand and support you. Strongs. â
She sounds salty af⌠make a baby! This is your life!
Family comes first always.
Your family should NEVER take a backseat to a friends 15 minutes of fame!!! You do you girl!
Donât put your family on hold no one. If sheâs your friend, she would be happy for you and understandâŚ
Girl. Get pregnant. Donât worry about her wedding.
Sounds to me sheâs a crappy friend! Do whatâs best for you not for her. Youâre family is more important!
Dont put your life on hold for a âfriendâ who would get mad for following your dreams
Soooo your life time child should be postponed because her one day wedding⌠if she wants u part of her wedding then so be it. But she has absolutely no say over your body and what happens in your personal lifeâŚ
Tell brizezilla to shove it⌠obviously sheâs not a true friend if she has to dictate that part of youâre life
I would try for that little baby just as you both planned! Clearly youâre a very good friend for even considering putting that off till after her wedding. If she canât be happy for you then I think maybe you can see who cares about the friendship more.
Her poor future husband is all I can say 
Girl if she doesnt want anyone to be pregnant thats kinda rude one of my brides maids was 8 months prego at my wedding lmfao yall try for that baby!
Dude, get pregnant. If she doesnt like it tell her to fuck off
Family comes first! She sounds ridiculous. What is the big deal with anyone being pregnant anyway?
Good lawd. Who cares what she thinks. Donât be in the wedding then??
Why would you let someone dictate when to have a baby
You donât need that week
Family first. Good luck with your baby
Wow, i wouldnât want a friend, who gets pissy about friends being pregnant. Go on with your life. Chick will be divorced in a few years anyway.
Itâs also a bit insane, that you would actually hold off on growing your family, due to some silly weddding.
Nah. Iâd 
out of that wedding and enjoy my last pregnancy.
UmâŚSheâs ridiculous, do whatâs best for you and your husband and if she doesnât like it, sheâs selfish and not your friend
Dont.let a few minutes in a wedding stop you from making your own family.shes not.much of a friend.walk away from her
Just say you canât be in the wedding then.
If you guys are good enough friends to be in her wedding party, then Iâd sit her down and explain the situation. I am sure if shes that good of a friend that she would understand. If she does not. Then shes not a good friend.
That, or just do what u had planned on. make a baby and act like it was a surprise lol oops sorry. Iâm a married woman who has sex, I got pregnant. she gets pissed, she gets pissed. Shell get over it
Shes a selfish something. Lol what? Psycho much? Like plan your life around my big day! Umm get better friends⌠that arent so self absorbed.
Your family should be first! This is your life. She will get over it if sheâs a true friend.
That is ridiculous. How can someone be upset about a pregnancy
Well I wouldnât want a friend that would be so petty and selfish as to be upset that a friend was going to be pregnant during her wedding. 
Thatâs outrageous. You start your family on your schedule dear.
Some people are just too extra with weddings these days. A girl in a mom group I was in spent 30,000 on her wedding, had all kinds of rules to make it âperfectâ and she ended up divorcing less than a year later.
Iâd tell her oh well. Iâm sorry but if she was my real friend she wouldnt be a spoiled conceited bitch that thinks the world revolves around her and her plans. Woohoo youâre getting married that wedding lasts 2 hours-5 hours? But she wants all you guys her supposed friends and loved ones to put all your lives on hold for her ? Nahhhhh sounds idiotic to me. Itâs a no brainer. Have your baby
I was pregnant while being in both my best friends weddings. I am beyond flabbergasted that she would care. Glad she no friend of mine.
What kind of friend doesnt help celebrate in the beggining of a new baby.id ditch the wedding completely and make some mom friends.
I think you need to tell her your plans and no you shouldnât change them. I personally donât understand why anyone has a problem with their wedding party being pregnant but if itâs that important to her then kindly tell her youâll have to back out from being part of it. YOUR family and decisions are more important than a brideâs demands for her wedding party.
I found out I was pregnant shortly after I was asked to be in a wedding and they were the sweetest most accommodating people and I am ever so grateful. When I got married one of my bridesmaids was pregnant, though I didnât know. Honestly, unless youâre selfish and vain about the aesthetics of your pictures why would it even matter? Iâm not ok with enabling people who get power crazy like that.
Do whatâs best for you and your family. If they kick you out of the wedding because of it than oh well, wipe your hands of them because she is not truly your friend than!
I would say get pregnant and not be in the wedding. You never know, waiting a year might make it a lot harder to conceive. And you wouldnât want to resent her because of it forever. Family comes first.
Donât let her know you planned it, Other than suggesting you terminate the pregnancy or in inviting you Tobe in the wedding party, what can she do?
You deserve to make the choice. If she doesnât like it, she can shove it.
Your family comes first!
Do what you have planned. She will get over it or not that isnât your problem how she feels.
The fact that youâre even conflicted over this is crazy. Your immediate family comes first 100% of the time- your kids, your spouse and yourself. She sounds like a bridezillađmarriage probably wonât last she sounds like a giant bitch
She is a control freak. Thank u
You donât stop your life because someoneâs going to act like a child about it. If she doesnât like it then she can kick rocks.
Sounds like the bride needs to grow up
Make a baby! I lost my best friend since diapers after having a baby & not being attentive enough during her wedding prep⌠guarantee my son makes me happier than that friend did.
Go ahead and start trying for another baby, thereâs no guarantee that you will be pregnant when she gets married. Honestly I am 31 almost 32 weeks pregnant and there is no way Iâd be able to stand in someoneâs wedding, I can barely stand for 5 minutes. Your family comes first and a true friend would respect that and be happy for you.
Lol is this real? Girl DO NOT place a hold on your life because someone is getting married.
Get pregnant and she can do whatever she wants as far as her wedding goes. Pregnancy trumps a friends wedding.
I had a miscarriage last December and it devastated us as we had planned and planned for baby #2. After the loss I was in the same position as you time wise. I knew if everything went as planned I would be pregnant for my cousins wedding, in which I was the maid of honor. My cousin fortunately was incredibly understanding and told me it was completely my decision and she supported either decision I made. I went back and forth for a few months on it until a friend of mine said⌠âAre you really going to put the rest of your life on hold for ONE day? 12 hours of fun and then no one will hardly remember itââŚ
And I decided right then and there that I was not. I ended up being about 13 weeks pregnant for the wedding, you could hardly tell and we had a great timeđ I say go for it.
What if people would have told her mother they donât want her to b seen
Make a new friend shes bridezilla
Family first!!! Always 
Who means more to you, family or a friend?
She isnât doing any of the 3 Fâs sweetie so make that baby!
Go forward with your family plans. If she doesnât like it and removes you from her wedding she wasnât a true friend anyway.
I wish I would have your conflictsâŚseems easy enoughâŚ
What the hell? If she isnât someone who would be happy for you, and is that selfish, do you really want to be at this wedding? Go get your baby makin on.
If shes a ârealâ friend she will understand and suppourt you and be excited. If she doesnât then she obviously isnât that great of a friend or person
Honestly you and your husband should do whatever yall want to do. I wouldnât even say anything about it⌠Yet. And then, if (when) you find out that you are pregnant call your friend with the good news.
If she is anything but excited for you and your family then⌠Thatâs her problem.
50% of marriages end in divorce. Donât change your plans. She can always change the members in her bridal party.
Your life comes before her and if she has a problem with that then she is not a friend at all
It isnât for her to decide whether anyone is pregnant.She needs to grow up and realize families happen.And you need to tell her
you cannot be in her wedding.She is ridiculously immature.
I have neve heard such stupidity
She cant decide whoâs pregnant or not things happen and if shes worried about pictures then her attitude will ruin them not a baby bump
Whatâs more important to you, your life or her wedding. Donât be in the wedding party but be there to help and celebrate.
Is this really just an AITA question and youâre just looking for permission? Because you canât seriously think you should put your life on hold because this bitch canât handle a pregnant bridesmaid. The answer to AITA, is no, you are not the asshole. Live your life. If youâre pregnant, be like oops. If youâre not, no harm no foul. You have our permission to live your fucking life. Happy? Good. Now go get yo ass knocked up! lol
Family first, weddings arenât shit compared to having a family of your own. If she was really your friend being pregnant wouldnât matter
Um she canât tell someone not to get pregnant. Thats a tad uptight and rude. But if you are trying⌠Not to be rude but stop you will get pregnant faster, stress will keep your body from getting pregnant cause ovulation gets delayed. I had a few close friends stop stressing and they got pregnant within a few months by themselves because IVF wasnt workingâŚ
Oh God she needs to get over it. Itâs her day. You arenât taking away from that. Itâs ok for her to be nervous to be pissy about someone pregnant? Thatâs irrational
Would this friend of yours do the same for you?
You shouldnât even ask this question. Have that baby and build a home for your family. Luckily itâll be your friendâs choice whether she wants to be a part of that or not and you wonât be the bad guy
Um keep trying for your family screw the wedding
Your friend sounds extremely selfish. Why would you put life plans on hold for that?!
You do you- get pregnant. Skip the wedding if itâs such a problem
If she was that great of a friend, she would be thrilled for you and still want you there pregnant or not. Go on about your life and have that baby.
I look at it this way. You are private about your pregnancy plans. Treat it like you arenât TTC and itâs a surprise baby. She canât get mad if you donât tell her it was on purpose. We are adults no one should be privy to your bedroom besides the ones in it. What is she gonna do? Pay for your birth control? Keep you away from your husband until the wedding? Literally canât stop pregnancy unless the person doesnât have sex.
Seriously? Why would you plan having your baby around someone elseâs wedding?!
No one will put that on hold for you donât put that on hold for someone else have your child and do whatâs right for your family her wedding is one day. Your family is forever.
Seems very selfish. If you get pregnant and it âinterferesâ with her plans, then I would decline your invitation to be part of the wedding party and the wedding altogether. Itâs harsh, but not âallowingâ anyone to be pregnant is straight up rude.
I would never cave in to her insecurities. If she doesnât want to see you pregnant at her wedding,what other important family and friends gatherings will she not allow pregnant women at.? Sorry, live YOUR life.
Really? How is this even a question?
Some of these questions lately
She sounds like bridezilla