You know the right choice but you want someone to tell you to leave your husband so it validates your daydream.
Do exactly what you want to Do. Life’s short! We make mistakes … try again! Idk lol
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It sounds too good to be true, right? Well it will be. People don’t change. He will do the same thing again just like he probably did to his last lover and you before that. Don’t be fooled.
File for child support and see how long he sticks around. 2 have him meet you for lunch, take your husband, don’t tell him he’s coming, see what happens.
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Fool. he abandoned you and his child. Idiot
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There is no BUT!!! You stay loyal to the one who was loyal to YOU! Period!!! Or else you do not deserve loyalty in return!
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I really don’t even know how anyone could have feelings for a man that left and missed the most important times of a babies life
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He abandoned you. You’re a fool if you go back to that
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He is a deadbeat who only wants to have a part of his daughter by having you too. He’s manipulating you, and you’re encouraging it. Do not under any circumstances leave your husband for this man. Your husband stepped up when this “man” stepped out on you both. Show your daughter better by being faithful to your commitments and choosing the man who chose her. Your daughters relationship with her biological father has nothing to do with you. You are not a package deal. But honestly at this point, I’m not sure if your husband deserves someone who is emotionally cheating on him.
Please seek outside help through therapy before you break multiple hearts, including your own.
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So he left you and his child and now you want him back when someone else stepped up to the plate to take care of his job while he ran ?? Your husband deserves better than you!
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You married a past boyfriend…GIRL WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN TO MOVE ON…
YOUR JUST LIKE YOUR BABY DADDY…GO BACK AND GOOD LUCK!!
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He left once, I wouldn’t put it past him to do it again. But maybe you should just leave your husband anyways because I feel bad for him 
Does he know this is going on?
You can’t help who you love…. Do what’s best for your child always.
Well you certainly can’t trust him. He couldn’t even stick around for his flesh and blood baby. He don’t care about you 
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Wants YOU to go see HIM? Wake up girl 
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Accept you love both of them. It would be good for your daughter for you to go and see him, and for you too. The more you avoid it, the more it will build up into something. You married your husband because you love him, are attracted to him and you’ve built a life with him. He’s also chosen to stick by you. Love the father of your child as your first love, the person you had a child with, but remember that he didn’t stick by you and has waited five years to make contact. Also be pragmatic that first loves are frequently choices we made before we were older and wiser!
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You made a choice, a commitment, and got married. He also made a choice and ditched you and your child. There is no BUT and how can his reaching out even get him a second chance after that?! Have some self-esteem and tell the chump where to get off! If he shows promise he can have time and a relationship with his child, but he shouldn’t get you as well. He probably wants you because you are with someone else and to prove that he can still get you. This doesn’t even deserve consideration!
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He abandoned you when you needed him most. MOVE TF ON
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He left you and his child, and another man stepped up, seems your husband deserves better. Not to mention if he really wanted to see you he would make the effort instead of having YOU go to HIM, and after 5 yrs of waiting and marrying someone else I’d say it’s too late
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I’m not going to say, do it or don’t do. If you want your daughter to see him, that’s your decision
BUT
If you do it, do it for your child. Not for you. Your husband doesn’t deserve that and with what little you have already said about your ex, he doesn’t seem the most promising.
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This man left you. You moved on, and now he wants to come back. You’d be an absolute fool to ruin your marriage for him. Your husband deserves better 
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Do your husband a favor and leave him. Give him that respect. But as for your child’s father. He left. He left his child and has nothing to do with her for how long? Don’t give him another chance to hurt her
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Things to think about …
How fair is it to your current husband for you to be thinking about going back to your ex? If you don’t love your current husband enough to truly want him to be the only love in your life, then you’re doing him a disservice to be with him. It’s not fair to him. He deserves someone who will love him and be true hearted to him.
How fair is it to your children that you’re thinking about uprooting them from your current relationship to put them into a potentially unstable situation? Yes, it’s their natural father, but who has been “daddy” to them for the past 5 years?
It’s not unusual to have feelings for your ex … after all, at one point you loved him enough to start a family with him, and yes, you will probably always have feelings for him. BUT … he left you. He moved on. You moved on. Now he’s coming back into the picture … probably because he realizes now what he lost.
No matter how much you care about him, HE LEFT YOU. HE LEFT HIS KIDS.
It will never be what it was before. You can’t go back & make things not happen the way they did.
If you’re not happy with your current husband, then either put the effort into your marriage to make it work … counseling, etc …or end it. But don’t end it to go back to someone who left you before.
Think about what you really want out of life, and then think about your responsibility to your children … and how you can best provide a loving & caring and positive environment for them.
When it’s just you, you are free to do whatever you want to do. That changes when you have children. When you have children, you need to consider how your actions affect them.
When you’re in a relationship with a partner, you need to be all in … but you also need to know that your partner is all in.
Good luck.
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I still love my daughters father and I always will. That doesn’t mean I have to be with him. He has a drama issue, drug and drinking problem, and can get violent. Plus he’s a leach. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him. He has amazing qualities and he was my first love. That being said, I can love his memory. I can hope the best for him. Loving someone doesn’t mean destroying yourself for them. Imagine your future. How do you want your kids to be? How and where do you see yourself? Would he be able and willing to live that life and future with you or would he just hold you back? My ex? He caused our eviction. He couldn’t keep money. Stole from me, caused me to have to quit school. Insisted on having homeless people using MY apartment. I didn’t want that around my kid.
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Read your post again, you said… he wants… he just wants his way & he’s ran out if others to hurt & destroy lives. DONT DO THAT TO YOUR CHILDREN & YOURSELF. Stay strong.
How do you respect a man like that? When things got tough he left you alone.
Girl are you joking? This man left you when you needed him the most. From your own mouth, He has had NOTHING to do with you or your child since but a couple FaceTime calls and you’re ready to leave your husband? Come on! You are married. And he’s wanting YOU to run to HIM??? If he really cared HE would make the effort!! You’re also teaching your daughter what kind of behavior to accept from a man.
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He left you guys, it’s been years, and he’s just now reaching out. I understand the love, but how can you love someone who leaves you high and dry, doesn’t even try to contact you for years, doesn’t ask about your child, doesn’t care at all? Get your mind right.
You’re in love with a dead beat dad? 
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Do your husband a favor and get a divorce. He deserves better
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Tell him the only way you will see him is if your husband is with you. Or don’t go!
- just remember -"Shit on me once,shame on you,shit on me twice, shame on me."
I understand those old feelings have come up but quickly remember he left you while you were pregnant and has been missing from your daughters life as well.
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He left once he’ll leave again.
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You don’t love her father, you love the idea of him. The reality is- He left you and your daughter while you were vulnerable and needed him, he’s had nothing to do with her and avoided all parental responsibility during sleepless nights, feedings, diaper changes, illnesses, all the scary moments. He left all the dirty work and hard stuff up to you. He skipped the birth of his baby, missed all her milestones, missed out on bonding with her, and missed out on several years of everything that makes her, her. THIS is who he is, not the guy you think you loved. Don’t visit him. Don’t spend time with him. Yep f he wants to see your daughter, let him go through the legal channels and have a mediator and counselors involved.
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You’re not in love with either. When you’re in love with one there’s no room for another.
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Gross. You’re not in love with someone who tossed You away like trash you have zero self respect. Your poor husband.
Yeah…don’t. He’ll get you. Ruin your life…again. Then leave when things get tough. Stick with your hubby!!!
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Moment of fun for a lifetime of pain.
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So sad no one values marriage anymore. Why even get married if it’s not forever, and you can’t be faithful.
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You gonna be back to needing someone else don’t do it he showed you who he was
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Whatever you decide, you need to leave your husband so that he is able to find someone who actually loves him and will be loyal to him. You can’t be in love with 2 people at once
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Umm NO!! ABSOLUTELY NOT, do not give that man one more single second of your energy. Look at what he did, and has done. People don’t change when it comes to this like this, he is thinking of himself and himself only. I understand what your wishes and hopes are but sadly the reality of the situation is not the same. Don’t do it…
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I literally have no words for this post apart from you are married, why ruin what u have for a what has already happened, u were massively let down, tell him if u decide to allow him that he see have a realationship with ur child but not with you, so let let him ruin ur future with the man u married xxx
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You’re a dumbass why would u want him to be back in your life when he left u pregnant hell naw I wouldn’t !!
This isn’t even a question. You need to stop letting feelings rule and ruin your life. Get yourself together and think. You need to stop dwelling on the past and look at your future. You are married and your spouse deserves the warm feelings and FaceTime. Being your husband when you “visit” since it’s about your CHILD which is the only reason you two are interacting. If you can’t act like an adult then get a divorce. Feelings are not facts and you need to examine why you’d be willing to abandon the life you created with your husband. Get counseling or get a divorce.
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You can ask your husband what you should do.
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Sadly you sound very selfish. Your husband deserves better how can you have feelings for someone who left you and your child high and dry. You need to pick one or the either be honest with your feelings.Your husband was there for you when you needed someone. Seems like a no Brainer to me.
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You KNOW what you SHOULD do!!
Don’t do it my ex only wanted to be a father when I moved on and all he did was ruin my life almost killed me and was a horrible person to the both of us
Possibly he wants you now because he feels he can’t have you so he’s up for the chase, as soon as he has you he’ll be bored and move on. On the other hand your husband has been raising children that are not his own but probably feels like their father and they are his children what a good man why would you think of giving that up if you do I think you will regret it deeply
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Uh I may be wrong here, but what do you have to do with her seeing her father? Like has he been talking to you inappropriately and saying things that could be seen as you cheating because you’re potentially entertaining it? If so girl get a grip and stop responding unless it’s strictly about the child. You can take her to go see him and be a responsible married woman.
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You’re ex is a narcissist and is just looking to hurt you
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That’s called lust not love.
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F that. He left you. Why should you have to go see him. He should be coming to you.
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Go live with the “love of your life” but keep in mind once you leave your husband he will find someone to love and when the “love of your life” decides to up and leave you high and dry again you will have no one by your side. I suggest even if you don’t go with your “first love” leave your husband, if you have mixed feelings you don’t truly love him.
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Honey, stop entertaining him. He didn’t want to step up to the plate when he need to, you don’t need to set yourself up for that failure. Your daughter and your husband deserve better than that disrespect.
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You’re in love with what was not with what is.
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He left u when u needed him the most. Don’t mix an illusion of what you thought your relationship was to what the reality is. There is a fine line, respect your daughters wishes to see him but don’t even open that door for u. You have a Husband who loves you and help raise ur daughter! Not many men would do that.
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Do you know the right choice? You seem a bit muddled. Word of advice, the one that left already, will again if it gets tough. Those types thrive on the chemicals new love creates. Once it’s time to be an adult… bye bye 
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He walked out of you once he will do it again.
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So you want to chance screwing up a relationship with someone who wants you and cares for you to spend time with someone that didn’t care enough to care for you while you were pregnant with his child
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I feel bad for your husband
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He left you and your unborn child while you was pregnant and had basically had nothing to do with you or your child since. But now you two have been facetiming and texting. Is your facetiming and texting about the child? Or are you guys just flirting? What’s sad is you’ve been waiting for this moment for 5 yrs. What about your husband? You’re married and you’ve been waiting for your ex to reappear? How’s that fair to your husband? How would you feel of it was the other way around? You know the right choice but…girl, your husband deserves a woman that’s not thinking about another man or entertaining the thought of cheating. You’ve been waiting for your ex for 5 yrs and doing what with your husband? Using him? If you loved your husband you wouldn’t even be making this post. He deserves better.
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Grass ain’t always greener on the other side… especially it’s someone who left you and couldn’t step up. Stay with your husband, don’t be stupid
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If he left u once he will again I would give him the time of day
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He left you guys. Why go back? He may do it again! I’d stay with your husband and be loyal to him and move on with your life. Allow your daughter to see her real dad but don’t get involved other than a coparenting relationship. That’s just way too messy and you may regret your decision if you go back with him and he fucks with your feelings again. You’d lose your hubby and never get him back.
Clearly you shouldn’t be with either. You need to work on yourself
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He left you and your babies. If he’s trying to talk to you and it’s not so much about the kids he’s also a home wrecker. He sounds great 
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You don’t love your husband if you have been waiting for your ex for 5 years. Your husband deserves better, just leave, but don’t come crawling back to ex husband if baby daddy leaves again.
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He left when you were pregnant…
Biggest sign you needed.
Don’t throw away your husband for a past fling.
Ex could want a piece of you know what.
Don’t fall for it.
Your husband deserves better. You said it yourself. You know the right answer.
Truth be told I think your husband deserves better than you, if you genuinely loved your husband them feelings for your ex should have been long gone before you walked down the isle to say your vows
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You’re the type of person who gets bored after the honeymoon feeling of a relationship. Just stay single and stop ruining men’s lives.
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Leave your husband bc he don’t deserve that. Just know you will probably get left again by your ex. I’m gonna be a little judgmental here bc I was left by my kids bio dad when my daughter was one and I was pregnant. He hasn’t been around at all…but how can you love somebody who turned their back and neglected their own kids??..your babies?!!..and to do this to the man that stepped up when he didn’t have to!!
Your husband definitely deserves somebody who truly loves and appreciates what a good man he is!
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You’re already not loyal to your husband, clearly. You’re on the fast track to the wrong decision, I hope you crash and burn. Good luck!
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He bailed once. He will do it again. Dont ruin your marriage. It’s his loss.
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It’s Lust Not Love, but you need to do some soul searching and pray,you have a blessed family now so don’t throw it all away and delete the ex.jmo.
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He left you and your daughter, they’re shouldn’t be a question. Stay with your husband
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Always remember how they left when they come back
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If you know the right choice there shouldn’t be a but.
The dude left you and her, when you and her when you needed him.
Your husband I am assuming has been there picking up the pieces of the mess your ex left.
I get you love him, od think there maybe residual feelings. But crack heads love crack, doesn’t mean it’s good for them though.
If you really do have to see him. You got a child together, it’s bound to happen. Bring your husband.
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If you have been waiting for this moment for 5 years, why are you even with your Husband ? He deserves better than just being your second choice….
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Girl your HUSBAND stepped up while that pos stepped down and ran off like a coward. Do not give him even the time of day. Block him, delete him, delete anything about him.
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You dont deserve your husband, but you deserved being left by your child’s dad. You should be ashamed.
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I could never look back at a man that left me and my baby alone. Calm your toots. They usually come back “asking” for the kids but they don’t want them they just want a hook up. Don’t be dumb.
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Sounds more like unresolved feeling. You never had closure. It’s tempting because of that. But you have a man that stepped up to the plate and took on the love and responsibilities that someone couldn’t. Don’t turn your back on that man if he hasn’t given you reason to. People won’t change. The biodad will eventually just let you down again and you would have let everything go with an amazing husband and father for that. Cut ties with the guy. Get a court order if he wants anything to do with his child and leave it at that.
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I hope you are in a very brief moment of irrational emotions. In my opinion you absolutely can’t be in love with more than one person. Not possible, infact I would be questioning if I was in love with either of them. When I am in love with a man, I wouldn’t be capable of even thinking in that kind of way about another person, at all, kids dad, nor anyone else. Yes, this means even if and when things aren’t perfect, or even difficult at the moment. If you truly love a person and especially in love with a person, you definitely wouldn’t be in love with another one, your mind and heart wouldn’t even be capable of it. It’s likely more of it is bringing back past emotions/feelings and likely nothing more, other than having love for him, as their dad. Perhaps being excited for them that he has decided to at least entertain the idea of being an actual part in their life. In reality I would be extremely weary of that as well. He LEFT not only you, but much worse HIS KIDS. The only conversation even appropriate with him at this point, would be Job?Home? Stable? IF I allow you to step back in, do you plan on being a continuous active parent? Things get hard, gonna bail? How do you intend to prove yourself? You ok, with brief visitations in a public place OR at my home with my husband? Not dropping “hey! I’m daddy” on them for a year or so? Slowly getting to know them? You mess up, and it’s done, bc I will not allow you to mess with their heads. Anything more, is already disloyal to your husband. If he doesn’t already know he reached out, you are already being disloyal. He has been the one with you/y’all, so definitely shouldn’t keep him in the dark, be upfront and honest. I wouldn’t allow him to flat out prevent it IF bio dad, does right and proves himself, but number 1 it would be protecting the girls emotions, slowly allowing them to bond, lots of consistency on his end for enough time to know he is sencere. Now, back to I’d be doubting being in love with either of them, maybe love for him as well, but true love is loyal, goes beyond feelings and emotions, if I truly had love for my husband, then end of the confusion. You do what you vowed to do, you do what you would expect from him, or you leave him.
You haven’t heard from him in two years or so and yet you found an amazing man that stepped in and stepped up ? And you’re actually considering what the ex said ?! Give your head a shake & re evaluate your priorities especially your daughters !! Your husband deserves better than that !!
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You’ll just end up heartbroken again.
My daughter dad came back to me when she was 18 by then I was separated from my husband and had a son.He was not interested in his daughter I knew that,so I took nothing to do with him.I thought more of myself.Your husband deserves a loyal wife not you.
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Babe go to therapy. That’s not love thats not love. Your husband doesn’t deserve this.
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If he left you so easily, you know he isn’t the right person for you. He will do it again. It’s easier said than done, but forget him! You and your baby deserve better!
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He left once , he will do it again.
Stay at Home Moms 
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There is no but. Your husband only.
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You’ll regret it. The grass is never greener. You are willing to entertain the thought then you are already unfaithful.
One thing you crave when you no longer have it is a man who is stable not a man who runs from responsibility.
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Your ex left you. Abandoned you, and your questioning that?? Your husband deserves better than you. I hope you end up single.
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Never understood how anyone can be “in love” with 2 men. Being in love and loving someone are 2 diff things. Imagine if a man felt this way. Personally I don’t think u had closure and the rebound went to far, but u happily married him nd made those vowels, your husband doesn’t deserve this not one bit.
Self sabotage!! You and your daughter deserve to be loved and cared for the way your husband is loving and caring for you and your daughter. Now go to a mirror and repeat that to yourself until you believe it. Your daughter’s bio dad abandoned you guys. I don’t care what his excuse is now. You both deserve so much better. You deserve someone who won’t leave you. You deserve to be loved. You deserve your husband 
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You love him still bc you have a child with him an you never truly grieved the loss of him. You have spent too much time being hopeful that he would come back to you. He isn’t there for the right reasons and honestly you need to keep him away. Child support is all you should get from him. It’s too late for trying again. Love your husband and stay away from your daughters dad bc you’ll only be heartbroken again.
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Leave that devil alone. He’s trying to destroy you with temptation and will leave you again in ruin as soon as you give in.
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When you and daughter visit him, your husband needs to be there with you… since you don’t trust yourself not t9 give it to him. Don’t even think about fucking up your marriage.