“I know the right choice but?”
You want an excuse or someone to give you permission to be a shit bag. No ma’am.
You are married. Your contact should be coparenting only.
Unresolved feelings are normal. Work those out yourself. It’s never ok to act on those feelings and hurt people in the process.
If you know your right choice, do that choice.
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He probably has been cut loose by someone else. Your husband married you to show you he is committed. You’re ex left you when you were pregnant. That’s pretty low. Don’t fall for his charm. It’s probably for a selfish reason. You shouldn’t even give him the time of day. Don’t treat your husband the way that jerk treated you. Be better than that.
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You will ruin your marriage for him to leave you again. now your divorced with no husband no baby daddy. don’t remember the good times remember the hurt when he left you when you needed him the most.
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The grass is always greener on the other side. But you’ve already been there. You already know it’s not meant for you to be with him. This is not from God. Every thing he does is in order, he would never put you in a chaotic situation. Take a step back and think about what you feel and why. Then choose what you really want to feel.
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Well… you’re married. And he left you. Sounds like you need to stick with the decision you have already made.
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Stupid mxm… I wouldn’t even FaceTime or give him anytime of the day… He left u to raise your child alone… Did u forget how that fekt… Respect your husband who helped u raise your daughter… Angers me tht u even thinking of such a idiot…
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Ur husband deserves better honestly if you truly loved your husband you would not have feelings for this ex of yours my situation is different my ex fiancé died we didn’t break up I would not cheat on my man for an ex tho
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If you can even contemplate being disloyal on any level to your husband you shouldn’t be married
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You need to grow up and mature. Tell your husband what you’ve told this group, see if he still stays or if he walks away so you can go back to the shitty ex. It sounds like you’re ready to cheat on your husband. I would RUN if I was him!
Stay with your husband. Your daughter’s father left you when you needed him. He’s not reliable.
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Sounds like you need to leave your husband as he deserves better. For you to even consider seeing your ex while still having feelings him, isn’t fair to your husband.
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So you are willing to lose your marriage to a man that stepped up and took on the responsibility by filling the shoes a “boy” that walked out on you when you were pregnant with his daughter couldn’t ?
Sorry but your husband deserves better!
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If you do go visit,bring your husband with you.This is just my opinion.If you’re having these thoughts,I’d separate from the hubby until you can sort your feelings out.
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Apparently you always loved him but he didn’t love you. He left you all alone to raise a child because he didn’t want the responsibilities now since you have someone who loves you, stood by you stepping in to do his job he wants to come back in the picture and this is what you’ve been waiting for??? I can assure you he might want a piece, but not the relationship and you’ll be left all alone once again.
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Man, you lack brain cells
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No he will not stick around when something else happens, don’t
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Your child’s father left you while pregnant & you’re considering going back to him? What you’re doing & considering doing is selfish. You’re not thinking of how this whole mess is going to affect your daughter. Your husband deserves better.
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And this is why good men and women don’t want relationships after being burned like this. Sheesh!
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But what ? Have some respect for yourself, the man abandoned you your most vulnerable moment, do not risk what you have for a delusion because you will end alone
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I think you’re being selfish. You’re willing to ruin a relationship with a man who stepped up for not only you but your daughter when this other “boy” decided to walk out and leave the both of you in the dust. I’m pretty sure he showed who he was at that very moment. If it was me my husband would be coming with us to meet up with him.
There is no but. He’s shown you his true side before. This is your mind wanting what won’t happen which is fair but erase that. This isn’t fair to your husband either.
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The fact you’re willing to entertain the thought is sad. Being disloyal to a good man that was there for you when that douche bag wasn’t? Hell no.
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That’d be a dumb choice. He ditched u. Ur husband not only didn’t but stepped up to fill the gap.
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He must not have anyone so he’s messing with your head dont fall for it and ruin what you have
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I feel for your husband who I assume has taken on the role as a father to your daughter. You should never have married if this is what you were waiting for. Grass isn’t greener on the other side
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I’m guessing you are hoping the child’s biological father (not dad, the man you married is dad, since the father abandoned you and the child) will step up be like the man you are married to. Pretty sure that is not going to happen. You’ll probably end up alone and your child will suffer, especially if the bio father ends up cutting out again…
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Nope. Don’t do it. Never be someone’s second choice!
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Be strong! Do what is right.
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Exes are exes for a reason.
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This is a dangerous path. If he already let you down once is probably will do it again. We will spin you around, tell you what you want to hear and this can potentially destroy your marriage.
You can meet him to arrange a time for your daughter to see him but ypu must go. Otherwise, you can always find a point of contact like grandparents to arrange a visit.
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I say go for it…cause your husband deserves better than to just be a place holder
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If you wanna destroy your family for a cheap thrill from a man who don’t care about you or his kids, then go right ahead
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Your first love was a loser.
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How can anyone be in love with someone who got a woman pregnant and just left them after? Are you sure this isn’t just lust and not love?
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Sorry but leopards don’t change their spots.
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That’s a big heck NO
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It’s a trap. He doesn’t love you. Would you treat someone you loved the way he treated you? Sounds like you have some sort of trauma bond with him… I suggest therapy to sort through those issues before you destroy your life and your daughters by running right back to a toxic situation. I guarantee you would regret it.
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Leave ur husband before u cheat on him cuz if u go see ur ex u know u will
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You should not even consider it. The guy left you while you were pregnant with his child! Not a real man. He had time to come back before you married your husband. Your husband has been raising his child and loving you which was the exes place. Stay faithful to your honorable man. You’re asking for a life of strife for all concerned. Remember, how they treat you is how they feel about you.
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I’ve been left while I was pregnant, huge pregnant. Do you remember how that feels? I do. And there’s no way in hell I’d love him or ever wanna be with him again. You’re out of your mind. Love where? That man doesn’t love you at all. Your husband deserves better. Sorry but you need to get your act straight and knock it off!!
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My thoughts are, if you are even thinking about it, then go, because you are already not being faithful to your husband.
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Don’t throw your life away on some asshole that walks away from his kid. Be better than that.
Ur dumb if u fall for him again!! I mean he left u b4 u had his bby n now wants to see y’all put child support on his azz n dnt give him time of day
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Is he reaching out to you because he wants something or he wants to get to know his daughter? Seems you have made it about yourself and not really your daughter. Also shows you never stopped loving him but went and got married to someone else anyways.
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What make you think he won’t leave you again after you leave your husband for him. Your husband stepped up and has been there for you and your daughter. I say don’t do it. You will end up single. If you don’t love your husband then leave
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Stay away he didn’t bother with you .
Nope! Those are feelings of confusion my dear I have been there! I wondered why my ex walked away from me and the child we created and wondered if he would ever care to take me back but at that time I knew the feels weren’t in the right place. I wanted him to want me as I always had but I had found someone way better by then and I pushed it all away to be sure I went into the right direction. The past is the past and those are old feelings
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You will wind up regretting this.
Are you serious!!! I don’t understand why women do this stuff!!! HE LEFT YOU WHILE YOU WERE PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD!!! He doesn’t care about you or that child. He’s gonna mess up your life again and he’ll be gone!!! AGAIN!!!
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Girl. You can clearly see the bullshit your about to step in, don’t play like you don’t know what you’re going to do. You know you about to step in it…. It’s just a matter of how. Are you going to be upfront and tell everyone how you feel or are you going to hide something from someone?
The correct thing to do is to tell everyone involved that you’re having some conflict and that you need time to sort some shit out….
Put your daughter first. Your husband and daughter deserve better. That pos needs to be left where he stands. Make him take you to court to see your daughter. He needs to earn the right. He abandoned her.
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He left you at your most vulnerable moment and disregarded his daughter in her most impressionable years……you can’t decide when you’re ready to be a parent like he did. He needs to stop reaching out unless it is about attempting to build something with his daughter. He lost many man points to me already. I do t think you live that man. I think you’re trying to relive what you had and times have changed. You’re both different people now and you have no idea if he is just talking through his teeth. The fact he left when you were pregnant and doesn’t respect your marriage speaks volumes about him. Don’t entertain the idea AT ALL.
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Don’t go back to it. He left you the first time … you think he’s not gonna do it again? Lol absolutely is.
You’re married. Respect your husband. And if you can’t… leave him first … just don’t be a tramp.
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Your husband deserves better …
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If he ran off once he’ll do it again
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This post is just sad. You definitely already know the right thing to do. Honestly I think Your husband deserves better. 5-7 years later and you’re still stuck on a guy that left you while you were pregnant. I feel so bad for your husband
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The man left you while you were pregnant and now you wanna go back behind him? Self respect gone on vacation?
Stop giving him room to come back into your life. Keep convo strictly about the girls.
If you feeling tempted speak to him only when husband is around. Or better yet, get someone to t@p you upside the head to recalibrate your brain. Good luck 
.
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Lmao women be crazy… “I know this man is a POS & left my child & I in the lurch, but I want to completely ruin my life for another shot.” 
See how dumb you sound? lol
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But what? Are you kidding
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Sounds like a thot move baby daddy dumped you before the kid was born so you went amd got married to someone that you knew would be there and support you and the kid that isn’t his but now baby daddy wants to either get to know his kid or get some giggitty time maybe even both but in the end if you go and see him your already plan on giving it up when most likely he just wants to get to know his kid sounds like the man you married should leave you
Let him see his kid. You’re married. Stay loyal to your husband and leave that man alone other than letting him get to know his kid
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This is by far the dumbest thing i’ve read all day. 
Sounds to me like you two deserve each other and your husband deserves WAY better.
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The right choice is where yoru heart says to go!
When God gets you out of a mess, don’t run back into it. The fact that he’s even talking to you in that way knowing you’re a married woman now shows his character. He didn’t want you before, and it’s a matter of time before you’ll be finding out about “the other woman” if you choose him.
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Why would you want to be with a deadbeat in general, let alone the deadbeat of your own child?! You’re asking for trouble.
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He left not only you, but your daughter. Definitely not someone I’d ever want to rekindle with. I feel bad for your husband that you’re considering that even. 
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Do NOT CHEAT!!! But maybe it’s not love with your ex. Maybe you just need closure since he just left. Your husband chose you and your daughter. Be faithful to him.
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He left you while pregnant. He doesn’t love you, how could he and do such a thing? He took the easy way out but wants to play daddy now that he’s ready? Parenting doesn’t work that way. You said it yourself you know the right answer, so don’t be stupid.
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Absolutely not. He didn’t stick around when it mattered. Boy BYYEEEEE
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You are literally asking strangers to encourage you to cultivate a relationship outside of your marriage to the man who stepped up to raise your child… with some POS who left you while you were pregnant. What was the question?
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Don’t do it! It’s a trap!
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He left you once, he will again. If you have a good man in your husband remember why you married him.
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You have someone who love you and your daughters and you are his family. Let their dad be a dad to his daughters that’s it. Don’t mess up a good Thang. You don’t know what’s up with the ir dad, he could be married or have multiple girlfriends, or just want to hit and go on about his business. Just keep it moving and make sure he is doing his daddy duties, spending time with them if he wants to or not, paying child support, and being the best father he can to them. Leave that first love stuff alone. He’s been missing in action. So was his heart when you had your babies and got married.
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Forget about yourself, what’s best for your daughter? After you read that question, you might think “my daughter deserves to have her father”, which is accurate… BUT think about it… say you get back together and do the whole “family thing”, then he leaves again leaving your daughter with trauma, most likely needing therapy to get through the behaviors and guilt she’s going to experience due to the split. What would you have done differently? In my opinion, I think if you have feelings for someone else aside from your current spouse, you need to end it for his sake without going to your daughter’s “dad”. If that’s something you both decide to do years after he’s proven to be a devoted father, okay. But don’t make any rash decisions that will affect your daughter in a terribly negative way just because of your irresponsibility. Good luck. This really is a sad situation overall.
You are dumb. End of story. Your husband deserves better. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?
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Stop this madness of first love if he really loved you he couldn’t have runned away when you needed him most ,he just want to subotage your current marriage
Keep him off
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They always wait.til the.child.is.about 5 or 6.then suddenly want.to be.in their.life.run! You have a good husband why take a.chance.and.ruin it.if the other.guy wanted.you or the child he aould not have left.you
Be smart
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He left you when you were pregnant though
I hope your husband finds someone that hasn’t spent their life fantasizing about an ex that left them when they were pregnant.
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The universe is asking “Are you still stupid and blind after he left you AND his unborn child?” What’s your answer going to be?
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Omg I can not believe your asking this, a man left you to raise his daughters on your own and another man stepped up and loved, married and parent your kids and you want to screw that up for the loser that left you high and dry, give your head a shake. Don’t go screwing up your kids,a happy marriage and basically starting a shit storm. You leave your husband and he won’t take you back after that kick in the face.
Hes bored and playing with your emotions. Been there, survived that.
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Imagine marrying someone while "waiting 5 years " for someone else. You sound awful
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If you love your husband … he’s the one who has stuck around. He’s who your kids know as dad. Drop contact with the other.
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Wow I feel sorry for your husband, your whole relationship you’ve just been waiting for your ex to contact you? Meaning you never actually loved your husband because how could you even think of getting back with your ex, who not only abandoned you but also abandoned his daughter!? Leave your husband so he can find someone loyal and faithful and who actually loves him, but do not mess your daughter up getting back with a man who will probably leave you within a year
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I’m sorry but what?! You clearly don’t deserve the husband you have now. It’s like telling me you’re a doormat without telling me you’re a doormat… If I was your husband, I’d leave you honestly. You’ve been waiting for 5 years for this dude to pick you… So your husband was what? Your backup? Like what the actual fuck is wrong with you? PEOPLE ARE NOT PLAY THINGS! Just a disgusting mentality.
Your daughters biological father abandoned her and you. Why would you ever allow anyone that did that to you and your daughter have your trust or your interest? It’s good he’s now available for your daughter but why would you ever consider him as an option for yourself? You need to love yourself and your daughter, not the man that abandoned both of you. Why were you ever waiting for him to come back into your life?
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No buts. When that guy walked away from you and his baby, that should have been a done deal for you! Don’t lose your husband for a guy that doesn’t give a crap for you or his child
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Is this a joke… you shouldn’t have gotten married to someone else if all you were doing was waiting for your ex to change an be a family. Honestly go be with ur ex then, your husband deserves better than someone whos willing to give up so easily especially when you say things like I wanna be loyal to my husband but… not even I love husband , you sound super self centered too just wow
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Leave both of them , the child father only back because he knows you will take him back an your husband deserves better if you love your ex….
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The question you need to be asking is why now? Why does he suddenly want to see the daughter he run away from while you were pregnant, what has suddenly changed? I bet if you dig deeper you’ll find the reason behind his sudden change of heart and his sudden wanting to be a daddy.
Girl wake up your husband is the one you love your daughters father is a fantasy
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The grass is alway greener on the other side of the fence.
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Grass always looks greener on the other side. He’s already proven he cannot be counted on. You have a dream of a husband who not only wanted you but chose your children as well …why would you jeopardize that…for some “feelings”?
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If you Love your Husband, You wouldn’t want to meet this other Man at all, I couldn’t trust him in one bit, He left you once, He bound to do it again, Why on earth you would hurt your Husband who been with you so long, Please, Please don’t meet him, as I can see you will regret it.
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Not cool. Not cool at all.
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Your husband is the right choice. This guy abandoned you while pregnant and abandoned your kid I can’t believe you’re even considering going back to him that’s awful. He was flaky and a deadbeat and inconsistent and people who are like that don’t change, in the long run you’ll end up back in the same position it isn’t worth it. Be good to your husband and co parent with your ex. Make him make an effort though. He also should be paying child support.
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When everything turns sour … You will have,many,regrets.
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see. this is the problem with the whole social media thing— your post above needs to be shared with your CURRENT HUSBAND maybe professional help before or as well. Also starting now share all texts and facetimes (only accept those when hub is present) with current hub. your dilemma is real as your daughter needs to know that you made an effort on her behalf. For her. For you, you know the right choice. No buts.
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That first love is a punch to the heart. Think of mine often and wondered what would have happened if I confessed my feelings