I am in love with someone much younger than me: Advice?

A single mama question. I’m 41 and have two grown children and grandchildren. My question is I’m 41 and in love with a 25 yr old ( yes Ik what you’re thinking). Both my children know the guy and honestly don’t have an issue with it. My thing is he talks to me, comes to see me, etc., but he has an issue with us actually being a couple because of the age difference. He states that it does not bother him, but he worries about what the community and his family would say. This has been going on now for 3 yrs, and he still tells me often how much he is in love with me, and he wants us together. Many times I’ve walked away, but a few months later, when he contacts me, I simply can’t make myself stand my ground, so I get hurt all over again. Pls, someone, give me advice on what to do!! Yes, I know it’s a huge age difference, but I was always taught you see a person for their inside, not the age, color, shape, etc. Please Help Me

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He is using you. If he loved you like he says, then he wouldn’t keep hurting you. And how many more years are you willing to put up with it…because he will do it until you stop putting up with it

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Y’all are both adults. No-one else’s business. Do you and be happy

He’s ashamed of the relationship, walk way away

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He says it doesn’t bother him…but it bothers him. Run!!

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He will eventually walk away himself so you need to decide what heartache you are prepared to endure…him leaving you or you leaving him.
Stop wasting your valuable time.

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If, after 3 years , he is still concerned about what others think., then maybe , he is not really mature enough for the relationship .
Personally., i believe it is no one elses business.
IF this relationship does continue , you really need to talk about the possibility of his wanting children in the future & IF you want more .
IF you decide - that it is over , then block all avenues of contact .

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Age is just a number. If you love him as he does you.Then no one should come between that. You only have one life to live. Live it loving the man whom God put there for you. Love hard and dont let anyone come between that. If you and your children are happy then that’s all that matters.You need to tell him that he cant worry about what people think.Its noones business.Good Luck and God Bless.

Sounds to me like he enjoys the fact you are always waiting around for him and you give him what he wants without the commitment or having to actually work for it. He’s embarrassed by it or he wouldn’t still be playing games. Cut the child off and find a man.

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Find someone who will treat you right and not just use you.Let go.

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16 years isn’t much difference, but if he is acting like a punk,move on,coming from a man

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Don’t waste your time. Forget the age difference if he really loved you he wouldn’t care about what people say or have enough respect for you to stay away from you to be free to find someone who will cherish you like you deserve

Be honest with yourself first. I believe if the feelings you share were the same, you probably wouldn’t be asking fb. Your still young enough to move on with someone closer to your age. If you spend 20 more years you’ll be in your 60s and too old to even think about a new relationship. He won’t even be 50 yet and will probably still look good and make a new family with a younger woman.

Hes not in love with u if u are a secret!

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Block him hes playing games with u then u wont lap in a weak moment

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Nothing is wrong with his age. I am uncomfortable with his level of maturity.

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Girl , cut him loose! You deserve better !!

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Sorry, he’s using you. You should be smarter in your game. When I was dating in my late 30’s, I dated a 24 year old for a year. He wouldn’t commit. I cut ties and told him to kick rocks. I wasn’t getting any younger! 8 months later, I met my soulmate and the love of my life. Celebrating our first year happily married next month and 4 years together.

You already know you need to walk away. You stay because it’s comfortable and the dating scene is a nightmare. But ask yourself this… while he’s eating up your life, could you be missing out on the love of your life, who is desperately searching for you? This guy is a waste of time.

Walk away. If he isn’t there for you then that speaks volumes. Who cares if he is younger. Go find a younger guy that worships you!

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Been in that situation I eventually left because if he cant be seen with you because of family or friends then he’s ashamed of you because of your age he doesn’t love you enough to show you off and be proud to have you

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If you can love the wrong person that much imagine what more if you love the right one. The right one will never enter your life as long as you are still attached and hung up with mr wrong. The right one will make you grow and effortlessly happy, no drama, no ifs and no worries. remember that so as long as you are staying with mr wrong, it is your choice to be miserable and in pain with him.

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Please dont be a glutton for punishment its shouldnt matter about age your both adults. However if he really loves u it shouldnt be off n on like it is.if u break up again give your self time to really think things over sure it hurts but y put yourself.thru it all the time.sometimez it’s best to be by your self good luck

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The age gap doesnt matter. How he treats u, makes feelings and the value and importance he gives to nurturing ur rltn matters. And by the way u described it, it sounds like hes not committing properly.

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Do what you think is best.

Your kids are just trying to be nice and the guy is using you. He doesn’t really love you. You just jump everytime he asks. Are you paying for everything too I bet? Dump him. Get a man your own age.

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Just leave him in your will.

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Grow the fuck up!! Shit or get off the pot!! No excuse for the age difference! Are you back in high school? Just a piece of ass!

He is nothing more than a fling. See the relationship for what it is. If you want more then you will have to look elsewhere.

Me and my man are 16 years apart and im definitely not ashamed to be with him or tell people im with him or his age and neither is he I’d leave no run an dont look back you are worth sooo much more than hes giving you good luck lovely :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

He is a CHILD with limited life experiences. Of course, he’s worried about what others think and keeps disappearing. Your expectation for him to completely stop with you may be unfair for the both of you. He may have met you companionship needs — but he will evolve as he matures; just as you will continue to enter new phases of your life. Caveat —- it is YOU who are teaching him to disregard your feelings by standing by and waiting for that child to leave and decide if and when he comes back. I mean you know harm but you asked for my opinion :woman_shrugging:t4:

Why are u asking other people what they think there must be some issues
1 you really don’t love him
2 he just looks good on your arm
3 he must have someone else to be keeping u a dirty secret from his family mabe u should walk and not look back

Girl let him go the don’t want no one to know because he has a lady in his age group. That’s y he leaves and comes back after time has pass. Stop being a fool for a child.

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I married a man who was 17 yrs younger. He was 25 I was 42. 8 yrs later still going strong.

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Do not be someone’s dirty little secret. The age isn’t the issue right now, his maturity is

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As you both age, those years will be a huge issue. Set him free & let yourself grow. This won’t last & serves no benefit.

You’re just a fuck to him. I’ve been with guys like this. Run away

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You’re getting used, accept it and move on. Dump the kid, if he honestly loved you it wouldn’t matter what society thinks.

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If you gotta ask total strangers you probably need to let that young man go.
You’ve been messing with him since he was 22, if he was completely sure he wanted to be in a relationship with you you wouldn’t be posing this question.
Age really is a number, maturity level is important. Let that young man go to experience the life a young twenty something needs to experience.

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Tgis is so weird. Im 41 and dating an almost 25 year old dude. I dont even wanna fucking hear it. We have been together almost 3 years. I have little kids. He is a great step dad, goes to games and school recitals (well we used to) and tells everyone he meets about me. Your dude sounds like a dickhead. But i also know how hard it would be tp walk away

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This NEVER ends well! Lasts 10 or so years then you’re looking too old and he scoops up a young hottie. Then he brags about banging an older woman. I’ve seen it over and over.

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I was 37 with someone that was 21… It was GOOD until a mutual friend found out and DESTROYED IT a few months later… But if it’s been 3yrs and he still won’t commit? You either need to move on or pretend to move on… Go on some casual dates with other men to see if that jars him… if it doesn’t l… then hes just using the friends and community as an excuse not to commit and at that point you need to move on.

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I could understand how he feels in regards to telling his family and friends about you due to the age gap. However, you said it’s been 3 yrs. That makes his argument very weak. Let him go. I know it must be hard on you. But after that long, he would have realized how much you mean to him and none of this age matter should bother him at this point. His feelings just are not the same as yours. He’s young, and exploring all other options. Walk away.

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My 2nd husband was 15 years younger than me. Lasted 25 years.

Dont listen to those negative comments and bad stories. Everyone is different in ways and age is no different. Go with your heart. I was in the same boat as you and still going strong. It gets easier as you go. All the best.:kissing_heart:

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I married a 27 year old, I was 39. He had 2 very young kids. The mom was awol for 10 years. After years of him cheating we divorced. Only to be told I was just a babysitter. Broke my heart when that after 15 years of marriage, the kids don’t speak to me. Totally erased me and my family from their lives. Now their bio mom, is back in their lives; and act like She Is Mom of the Year. :broken_heart::sweat:

Men pursue women they truly want. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. Sounds like you’re his booty call.

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When someone loves you community nor family will stop them or be of any concern. You seem like you want this relationship but he doesn’t seem so convinced like he’s embarrassed of you… I’m sorry :cry:

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If he said he has an issue with the age difference, believe him. It will always be an issue for him. Unfortunately, sad to say, sometimes love is not enough.

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Childish problem you don’t need… if he can’t even admit to his family and friends that he’s with you…wtf?! Why be with someone like that… he should be proud to say you’re his and let the world know you are the diamond in his life

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I am 54 and my husband is 40 when we met i was 42 and he was 28 and we have been together almost 12 yrs now

Well, I cant tell you what to do but I will give some thoughts. I’m a 37 year old divorced mother of 4 children who range from 8-18 and my boyfriend is 24. We’ve been together for 4 years. Our age difference really didnt bother us and most the time, I forget it’s even like that. We also knew each other for a couple years prior through gaming but were barely even friends, maybe that made the difference? It was a little nerve wracking when we told our parents but that was it and our friends wre so supportive from the beginning and our age difference was never something that held us back or was even a thought of holding us back. I understand being nervous but your boyfriend is also an adult that can make his own choice. If he really loved you like he said he does, I feel it wouldn’t be preventing moving forward with a relationship. You just have to ask your self how long your willing to wait or do you see it ever moving forward at all?

If he won’t commit after 3 years then I think it’s time to walk away and find someone who’s mature enough to not give a damn what other people think! Your BOY sounds very immature.

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I’ve been with a guy 15 years younger than me for 26 years, it was wonderful while it lasted, now he’s hit 50 and going through a mid life crises, it was always going to end badly, just be aware…

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I married someone 23 years older and we’ve just passed our 30 year anniversary!

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This guy is just using you. End the relationship. It’s not worth it. You deserve better

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Go for it ::life is short :: if he makes U happy and the same with U making him happy :::other folks opinions do NOT matter :: Get it while U can ::I mean that :::My boat is empty for now :::hope I find a relationship like yours Soon

Age difference aside…he doesn’t want to claim you, move on. He just wants access to whatever you’re providing…move on.

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If he really loves you like he says, it wouldnt matter what anyone says. Actions speak louder than words.

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#robbingthecradle if I was his mom I would not be happy.

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It sounds like he is playing 25 year old man games with you. I’d leave him alone. He clearly is not interested in a relationship and you are wasting your time.

You’re not robbing the cradle as he is a grown ass man but he isn’t acting like one so why make time for that?

My mom is 18 years older than her wife. They’ve been together 21 years. Age is just a number as long as you’re both consenting adults. He is being a bit of a dick, though.

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It doesn’t sound like you are the one that needs to make any steps… he does

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He’s a child find a man

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If he isn’t ready to announce the relationship to his family and commit by now he never will. He keeps leaving and coming back because he knows you let him. This is traumatic to your kids too. He needs to figure it out and be there or not be there. You are worth way more that that!

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I think he’s playing you. Does he work? Do you make more money than him? Are you more stable meaning you have a house etc? Hard to say with such little info

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He is only coming around you when he is lonely or something better isnt around. Stop letting him play you. If he wanted to be with you it wouldn’t take him 3 years to decide.

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You only live once… so why the hell not? If you love him and he loves you… why not?

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I mean to each their own…whatever you both are comfortable with and agree too. Obviously hes not comfortable if he actually cares what anyone would think! Also take into account that he may want his own children if this was going to be something serious. Would you? Just things to think about considering age difference. My husband is 11 years older than me btw!

Honestly it sounds like he doesn’t value you or your potent up all relationship. If he did age wouldn’t matter. Plus, if he’s that worried about his family’s approval, it sounds like he’s not ready to be mature and stand on his own.

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Who cares about the age difference? If he loves you he wouldn’t care what others thought and others would get over it. I say move on, for good

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If he loves you it shouldn’t matter what any one says tbh he’s of age and old enough to know what he wants … He shouldn’t worry about what family or anyone says as long as ur both happy

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If it makes you feel better my parents are 24 years apart ones Asian ones whitr both from different countries with different religions. My half brothers are close to my mother’s age. There isn’t anything wrong or controversial about your relationship just him being too scared to announce it.

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I married my husband a year ago and I am 52 and he is 32 and both of us have never been happier. :heart:

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I was 37and my husband was 25 when we got married. We’re been married over 37 years. He was an old soul
Some people just fit that way

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Your life,your choice.

Be cautious and make sure you’re not being used.
But go for it.

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when you meet friends, they will ask him, is that your mama?

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That doesn’t sound like he loves you.

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If he was truly in love with you nothing and I mean nothing would stop him from being with you

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It’s not the age difference that’s the problem, it’s him trying to hide your relationship that’s the problem.

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Its been 3 years either he loves you and isnt ashamed to claim you as his or… You will always be his dirty little secret… Youre old enough to be done with the games… Tell him to make a choice… If he cant be proud to claim you he dont deserve you and you need to stop all contact and block his number… Or else youll just keep getting your heart torn out

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Girl backbone time and tell him bye bye

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I’m 36 and about to marry a 27 year old man. He has no issue with the age difference. I was nervous at first, but after realizing how mature he was for someone his age i gave it a chance. It doesn’t even come up unless we make an occasional joke about it. If your boyfriend has an issue with it then the relationship probably won’t last. Move on, i know it’s easier said than done, but you’re wasting time.

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Im 25 and my husband is 46. We have a 2 year old a 6 week old together and couldn’t be happier :heart:

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I will tell you now to walk away. He might really like you but his immaturity shows by allowing other people’s opinions to interfere. It sounds like he is stringing you along because he knows you aren’t going anywhere. His insecurity will never go away because he will never be able to catch up to you. While you entertain someone that won’t lead you anywhere, your closing yourself off from meeting a potential future life partner. A man will only go as far as you allow. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

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You’re both grown :woman_shrugging:t3:

If he cared about you he wouldn’t be bothered what anyone thought and after 3yr he would have stepped it up, it seems hes taking the mik out you & only wants you when it suits him.

So hes worried about what OTHER people will think of y’all being together… :thinking: Big red flag and 1st sign of immaturity…

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You’re ignoring all the red flags just to have someone around. He’s getting his cake and eating it too. :woman_shrugging: 98% sure you’re not his only toy at the moment.

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Jada?? :rofl::joy::rofl::joy::rofl: jkjk Im sorry I had to.

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I’ve dated a man half my age. I’m currently 60. Age is just a number. It’s maturity that matters. As for what everyone else thinks. You aren’t dating them. When thos nosey people start paying your bills and sleep beside you at night. Then it might be their business.

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If he truly loved you. He would not hide the relationship. Period

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My husband is 13 years younger than me. It’s never really been a problem. He never cared what people might say or think because he loved me. Guess what? Nobody has ever really said anything but positive things and we’ve been together 16 1/2 years

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Honestly I think u should move on. Since he worried what others will say. If he loves n value u. He want to be with regardless of the age difference. Plus it sounds like he does have a problem n so do u. Age is just a number.

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You need more help than I can give🥴

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JLo in d hoooouse!!:grin:

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If he cares what other people have to say then he probably doesn’t love you as much as he says. To be blunt…Sounds like he just loves the sex?

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If he loves you he wouldn’t make excuses my bf is younger than me just by 7 years but when we first started talking I didn’t expect him to want to be with me. He did everything to prove that he wanted me, from making everyone know he liked me, to constanly reassure me that he didn’t care what ppl thought. ( I was the one worried bc I was older) he never tired to make any excuse to not be with me. Some guys like the kink of being with a older women sexually. But not fully commit to one. Id kick him to the curb till he gets his act together and stop making you feel like its a issue bc the age. If he loves you he will make you feel like the best thing in the world and wanna show you off. Thats just my opinion I dont wanna see anyone get there hearts broken.

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When something is worth it you make a way. If not, you make an excuse. Sounds like he is full of excuses. Leave him and get you a man.

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It doesn’t sound like your problems are strictly age or even necessarily age based. If he hasn’t committed in 3 years…what are you really doing?

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