I am losing feelings for my husband because he lost all motivation: Advice?

I thought marriage was for better or worse? Not when my husband is struggling it’s time to leave… sounds like he’s depressed. Maybe look at getting him some help before you abandon your vows.

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Depressed. Encourage him to find a new job and be supportive. Listen to him. Ask if you can help.

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I wouldn’t be able to watch my husband drown in himself for 3 long years and not step in to help. Something happened to cause him to struggle like this. So sad that the world forgets that men have mental health issues too. We brush it off and call them lazy or say they are letting themselves go instead of trying to support them and love them through it. I hope your husband finds the help he needs.

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Has he had a checkup with his doctor recently?

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Amanda Wilson Awesome

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But my question is how can you be happy with someone who is depressed all the time and don’t want to work? Obviously she has a family together and bills aren’t going to pay themselves an Needs aren’t being met.

I mean, honestly, you should’ve talked to him before it got to this point. It’s not really fair to him to watch him spiral downward and not try to talk to him and find out why. He could be struggling with depression or not feeling well physically or any number of things and maybe needs someone encouragement from you rather than just allowing it to go on so long that you don’t wanna be with him anymore.

Be honest with them maybe that’ll be as motivator and if it’s not then you know you can’t fix it

I work in a mental health clinic! He needs help! Please get him in to see someone. Marriage is for better or worse and he is at his worse ! My patients are the worst of the worst .

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It sounds like you need to sit down and have an adult conversation together

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He could be having mental health issues, hormonal imbalance, or something that requires medical help. Sounds like to me that he is struggling and instead of recognizing that it’s not something he is “doing to you” but rather something that is “happening to him”… Rather than you take it personally, it sounds like you need to be the kind of spouse you would want someone to be to you if the situation were reversed. No one stays the same as when they first got married. That’s because life happens and it changes us. For instance one day your boobs will be saggy skin flaps and your cooter will be dry, probably not the same as when you got married…but if he traded you in for a younger model just bc you now turned him off you would be playing the victim so hard. Quit looking for someone to co-sign you wanting a way out of this relationship. You made a vow, put forth the effort to help your husband find himself and his happines and for the love of God quit acting like he failed you when in fact it’s you who has failed him…

I could be wrong but he Could be miserable in his job and maybe feels like he has to stay there and doesn’t have the option get out? Maybe ask him about this or just reassure him that if he wasn’t happy with his current job you’d prefer him to be happy and skint than in a job where he’s miserable? Maybe if he feels like he’s got options it could change the way he currently is, good luck :yellow_heart:

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He may be suffering with depression… it’s a mental disease that can be helped… don’t give up on him… yet…

Y’all need to have a conversation. Maybe he needs another job in the same line of work. This can help tremendously. You married for better or worse and now when he needs you the most you wanna bale. Smh.

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Maybe he is no longer into you either.

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Your feelings are your feelings. That said, if you noticed him spiraling 3 years ago then part of it is your fault. It is our duty as wives to pick our men up when they fall. You sat by and watched him deteriorate and want out. A good women would have said something long before now, in the way of support but you didn’t. You watched on the sidelines and now you want to run from a highly likely depressed man that feels incredibly insignificant to his spouse and no run off to find Mr better. What happens when the next guy hits a rough patch and needs a supportive woman to pick him up? This is why communication is so crucial. Asking your husband what’s going on and how you can help him figure it out is not hurtful, it’s necessary.

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If you don’t say anything, then he’s going to think everything is just fine. Be honest and kind in the way that you tell him, but he deserves to know where you stand. Then if things don’t change, you know you gave him a chance. And you may find out there are some things you need to brush up on. Good luck !!!

Get out, don’t waste anymore of your life. You will regret staying and you will never feel the same way about him again…3 years wow sorry girl

Marriage seems so little to lots of people these days. Its sad.

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In sickness and in health…man people dont take the bad with good anymore. Its not always going to be puppys and rainbows. Smh. People need to stop getting married until theyve gone through some shit together to see if they will even make it.

You need to have a convo soon. Not about divorce but tbh you do need to point out that his lack of motivation is obvious. You should recommend he sees a Dr about his labs & also talk to him about finding a new job that better suits his desires.

Seek profesional help there is definitely some thing else under lying, may be depression, may not be about you. All the best, if you truly love him help him forget about what you are wanting put him first. :pray: