It’s a natural thing for people to become unmotivated and with that kind of mentality I can understand why. He’s depressed. Be his support system and be supportive or just leave him alone.
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He sounds depressed, and instead of trying to help him thru it, you would rather leave him? That is horrible.
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Depression is a real thing.
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Have you changed? Have you gained a lot of weight? Do you talk to him in a condescending, rude manner? Do you correct him because you don’t share the same political views? See a therapist.
Maybe he’s finally reached a place in his job where he’s happy and enjoys being where he is. Does he have to constantly be improving and getting promotions for you to love him? You guys need to have a sit down and discuss your feelings about the situation. Maybe even get some therapy.
He sounds as if he is depressed.
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If you don’t talk to him about it and verbalize how you’re feeling how is he supposed to know there’s ever an issue? I certainly wouldn’t give up on him because you haven’t exactly given him that chance to know how you feel. And you also have to be willing to put in some work to help him as well for some people myself included you know you wanna make a change but it’s really hard to do it alone I would love to get healthier and lose weight and start exercising but my husband doesn’t want to so I find it very hard to do it alone so it will most likely be something you will have to work at as well.
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sounds like you both are deeply depressed. Make a Dr. appt for him and let the Dr. know what you observed. There may be a fix if he is put on meds and you as well. Its a hard hole to dig out of but well worth it.
May need to talk with a therapist or his Doctor.
Sounds like depression.
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You need to have a full adult conversation with BOTH of you COMMUNICATING! You cant have a full and honest relationship if hes obviously struggling and you just want to leave because he isnt the same.
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Reach out to him…gave a conversation
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He’s depressed about life it sounds like…
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Don’t you think you’re happiness comes first.i had a man just like yours, right up to, where he did lose his job.and ended up applying for the dole.as far as I know he’s still receiving the dole and this was 8yrs ago .get out while you have it in you.good luck.
So…you resent your husband for things you admittedly have never bothered to tell him bothers you? And now you want to divorce him because you’ve resented him for the past three years and he hasn’t changed? Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments. Sounds like this is a problem of your making.
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Tell how you feel abd if he would try you will help all you can if nothing happens do what you feel is best.
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Have you talked to him about depression? Is he going through mid-life crisis? Is there something going on? You not talking to him isn’t going to help nothing. You not talking and finding a solution together is the reason you are falling out of love. So instead of communicating you decide to leave him? Yeah cause that’ll make things better for everyone.
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3 years is a long time to stay at a job he doesn’t like help him update his resume. Come up with a plan, and help him apply to jobs that fit your husband and your lifestyle criteria, commute, interest field, salary.
As for the relationship part try the Love Dare, Fireproof movie marriage.
Consult a professional therapist.
Maybe you should be telling your husband this and giving the poor guy a chance to change. He’s probably depressed and you’re just sitting here not helping the situation
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He sounds depressed and he needs professional help and love and support from those around them. You don’t get divorced because things get hard. You find a solution and make it work.
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Therapy, counseling and antidepressants. Communication is key, but this may not be something you can deal with on your own. Encourage him to seek help, even if it’s just for the kids sake.
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You are probably not the same person anymore that he married, sounds like right now is when he needs you the most! What happened to vows? Maybe it be a excellent idea to leave, so someone better can come along that actually cares for him and willing to help him when he is down.
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You married for better or worse
It’s worse
So get your ass and make it better
Talk to him ask him how he feels and what’s going on
You need to try and help him before you selfishly give up cuz he’s going through stuff
It sounds like he is depressed. He may need some help. Motivate him by giving him compliments and loving him
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You schould have talked to him along time before it got this bad.talk to him many he don’t see it ,or many he needs your help how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot
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How is he to know there is something wrong if you’re not open with him about it? How would you feel if it were you and he did exactly what you’re doing? Being secretive and resentful helps nothing. My husband and I have reached 21 years and it was because we were honest and worked on it together. You can’t just give up on someone you supposedly love if you haven’t even tried anything. This is a time in marriage that you need each other the most. Whether you leave or not he deserves your honesty. Do I think you’re horrible? Not completely but you sound like you need to grow up and figure out what marriage really is all about. It’s not just all about you. Men need guidance and support too. Woman up and do something about it instead of just sitting on your hands. It’s your time to stand up and do something about it.
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Man what a shit husband he’d be if the wife was depressed and unmotivated. Imagine a husband saying his wife disgusts him when she touches him. This is depression and too often we are NOT gracious with our husband’s but EXPECT them to have all the sympathy for us when we are feeling down and in a rut. Fix that
omg SPEAK UP WOMAN he need help sounds like depression get him to DR
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How about ask you husband why he is feeling this way. And possibly see if he needs help with depression. There has got to be something that is making him feel this way. So try and help him
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You may not have said anything but he probably knows you enough to know how u feel. Which is probably adding to his depression. He needs help. Love him back to health. If you can’t do that and aid him in his time of need. Then that’s unfortunate
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Ya gotta tell him at least give him a chance to fix it if not…
Then you kick his ass to the curb 
Be there for him and support him, sounds like depression like major depression….he clearly needs help.
You know men can suffer from depression right?
If this was a man posting about his wife he would be torn to shreds 
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Wow kick the dog when he’s down
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I think you both need therapy. I think you both should talk to a therapist alone then you need to talk to a therapist together. It’s sounds like he is majorly depressed and you need to learn how to communicate. You want to leave your marriage instead of helping to see if you can resolved the problem with help.
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Sounds to me you already have a plan, sure take the easy way out. Cowgirl up! I do still means help him get out of depression. He must see that you dont like when he touches you that could leed to depression also
Communicate with him and get him to go to the Drs and talk to someone.
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Please re think getting a divorce. Get the man a therapist cause I feel like he needs help.
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He needs help. He might have something wrong physically also. Tell him to go talk to the doctor
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If you were down would you want him to walk out on you?? Try to lift him up. See if he will talk to someone. Sounds like maybe you both should honestly.
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You sound like an asshole. You don’t just give up on people you love.
Sounds like he’s going through depression. Talk to him! Get him help. Before it’s too late.
You say he is a good dad good man but has lost motivation with his work and that makes you feel you need to leave?
You need to reevaluate what marriage is. Maybe start with a simple thought!
Put the shoe on the other foot.
Be the woman he married and help him. 
Good luck
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He could be depressed. There is help available. You should talk with a mental heath professional, as it is negatively impacting your quality of life.
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Go to famy counseling.
Go to family counseling.
He can’t provide his 50% so you need to step up and pick up the slack. I hate how everyone runs to divorce. Work on it. Let him know. Help him fix it.
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Get him help. My partner fell into a rut like this and had reached major mental breakdown. He needed a break from carrying the family financially and although it made us financially tighter, I’d do it again to ensure the man I love, the father of my kids, is mentally healthy.
Rethink the divorce.
Being disgusted in him for this is really quite cruel. Just put yourself in his shoes for a moment, try to see things from his perspective. He’s tired too.
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Sound like depression
“In sickness and in health”
Have you spoken to him? Have you tried to get him to talk to someone? You seem willing to just get a divorce and brush ya hands of him because he isn’t living up to YOUR standards.
If you know he’s down and not himself why don’t you want to try and help him find his way?
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If you feel that strongly
That you don’t love him
Because he is not the man
You married
He better off without you
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Nope. I personally couldn’t be with a man that lacks motivation or ambition. I’m a go getter, impact and profit environment over here. Anything less is a weight to me n I got enough baggage already 
What part of better or worse didn’t you understand
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Yea. Sounds like depression. To
Me as well. Get him to the doctor
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U both probably could use counseling, can’t hurt, may help.
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He might be depressed
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I felt like that before I left my ex. For 4 years I tried to make it work. I too got to the point where he disgusted me. If he hugged me, I didn’t hug back, just seeing his face disgusted me… I get you. Some people here are shaming you but I get it. Been there, done that. I left 2 years ago and I’m much happier.
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Talk to him, therapy ???
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Went through this with my partner I told him to stay at his mums house until he can pull his head in and find a job, he stayed there one night and got a job offer in the morning
COMMUNICATION!!! How can anything possibly change if u won’t tell him how u feel? Talk to him, tell him everything you’ve said here and give him the opportunity to make things better. If u do that and he makes absolutely no effort to change anything…THEN consider leaving. He honestly sounds depressed.
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If you haven’t talked to him then how do you expect a change?
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Well you gotta tell him how you feel
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You should talk to him and get into counciling together and separate. He sounds depressed and probably has no idea how you’re feeling.
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I’m the type that’ll see things through to the bitter sweet end. It’s only because I’m committed to long term. I do have BPD so some days l feel like I’ll want to quit but I push back through with the support of my partner. If I was to go realistically i would’ve exhausted all my options first like counselling and date nights I also communicate with my boyfriend even if it’s not something he’d like to hear. interesting fact besides all this but yesterday I was talking to my boyfriend about how important dates are and adding wood to our fire everyday because if you don’t it’ll fizzle out slowly it’s an everyday effort having a relationship and it takes two people to want it. Some people get to relationship comfortable
I think you should focus on you and what you need to make progress in your goals. If he doesn’t keep pace, you’ll just part ways naturally. You don’t owe him waiting for him to get it together. Maybe find an individual therapist for some support and perspective
Sounds like he is depressed hoping that your husband will just get over it won’t work depression is horrible to go through you need to talk to him he probably already feels unloved and unsupported by you as it doesn’t seem you have tried to help him at all unless you have been through depression you don’t have a clue
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So does he have a passion he’d like to pursue? Maybe he just needs a push in the right direction, if he’s not happy try to figure what kind if job he’d be happy w but quite honestly if your already as you say disgusted w him & yes I know from where I speak. Then it’s time to go. There is no going bk at that point, period…
ma’am… what part of for better or worse, in sickness and in health until
Death do us part dont people understand? You made a commitment and the moment he is struggling mentally and emotionally he has ZERO support from his wife. Zero. YOU don’t want to talk about it makes it clear you have not ever made a safe space for him to confide in. You let that man flap miserably in the wind for three years. Why on EARTH haven’t you suggested counseling? Therapy? Find him someone he can lean on to speak openly and candidly with? It seems you will never be his safe space at this rate.
YOUR job as a wife and mother is to be your partners PEACE. You are to lift him up and support him in the amen manner you would expect in return.
You need to humble yourself and realize the expectations you are putting on him with zero support. First you owe that man an apology for being selfish and not being there for him. Two, make SURE you aren’t going to be pregnant any time soon. Three, you will be a dutiful wife and support him and find him a safe space to sort himself out. I didn’t see that you mention that YOU work at all to alleviate some burdens on him while he works through some things. 
you can work a midnight shift job and take up some slack so he can focus on himself for a bit. Ever heard of anxiety? Depression? PTSD? Bipolar ?? These things exist hugely in men but many don’t seek help for fear of ridicule or being judged by their partners and others.
And the fact he WANTS to touch you and YOU PUSH HIM AWAY AND TURN DOWN HIS AFFECTION IS ABSOLUTELY COLD HEARTED AND CRUEL!! You are adding to the dang issue and it’s rather disgusting.
Go get a JOB and help your man. Go find a therapist for him and help your man. A family is a team and you seem like a pouting child on the bench ready to kick rocks and go home.
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Sis seriously you need to talk to your husband
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Maybe he needs to find a new career. Burn out is real! If he’s the provider, he probably feels like he has no choice but to stay. There are a lot of places that will train you and get paid at the same time. Sounds like he’s just mentally exhausted and it’s understandable because of what all is going on with the world right now. Talk to him and tell him it’s ok to let feelings out. Be there for him! My school is doing a 3 week truck driving training course and the state is helping to fund it. Why? Because there’s lack of people wanting to work. They make good money. He needs to be happy, too.
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Maybe he’s lost his passion for the type of work he’s doing. You could be supportive and find out what he really wants to do with his life. It’s apparently not whatever he’s doing now.
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Mmm, there is still hope. You said “he’s not the man I married”, true he is not. He’s going through ups and downs right now and you as his wife HAVE to make some kind of effort. Talk to him. Make it where it’s you both verses the problem. Be a team.
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In sickness and in health. It’s been 3 years and you haven’t said anything? First of all, communication is key honey and second, you should’ve said something 3 years ago. He obviously needs help and for you to suggest divorce in his time of need is a little messed up. Not trying to be rude but it’s just a little harsh. Best of luck girly!
Let him leave the job! Why hasn’t he? This is what happens when a person has a non supporting spouse… They are left to just put up with stuff Till they suffocate. Anyone can endure a really lousy job if they have a great supporting wife so did you consider that his depression and lack of going anywhere has to do with him staying in a marriage he doesn’t want to be in?
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He is burnt out, he likely needs to rest and heal to find his passion. Be the wind in his sail, encourage his pursuits whatever they may be. As for your happiness that is your responsibility. Nothing last forever but sometimes love is worth the long haul.
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To be quite honest most people living with a narcissist eventually get to the point exactly as he has. Narcissists make everything about them. Therefore the other person eventually loses themselves and they fall into a deep depression. Because it’s hard to live with someone when it’s all about them. You’ve made this all about you. You’re willing to divorce a man because he’s let himself go to the point he could get fired at work? Spouses uplift each other and help when one needs help. He needs help and all you care about is yourself. So yes it is hard that you’re thinking of leaving him because he’s depressed. I’d be depressed also living with a narcissist
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It could be that he is depressed and if so he needs help for that.
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It does sound like you both could use a change. He is probably just as bored as you are.
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Check his testosterone level, see a doctor about possible depression and for a full physical. It’s time to talk about this! Communication is the KEY to lasting marriage or relationship.
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Maybe a new job. Maybe some support from you that you understand he’s burnt out and suggest helping him look for another job. Maybe he needs some antidepressants. Or maybe just some support and understand from his wife.
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Oh dear sounds he is depressed, might be a good idea for him to visit the doctor, and get advice. There could be a lot of reasons why he is being like this, of course there is a possibility that he knows your going off him and he doesn’t know how to approach it, my sympathies to you both if you go through with the divorce… if both of you reach out to each other you never know.
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First mistake is not talking to him, tell him how unhappy you are, tell him you’re not attracted to him sexualy any more, maybe he let himself go because you did first, do you do anything to encourage him to be better or do you just go on social media and complain, maybe quitting the job and starting something new will help him with the obvious demons he’s battling.
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Leaving g him will just make it worse have you tried to encourage him??..maby
he senses your feelings and dosent know who to tell u…don’t give up show him some love from the heart.
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Sounds like your husband has a mental health issue
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Sounds like he is depressed Bout something
Sounds like he’s depressed.
Sorry, I know I am going to offend a lot of people but your role in life is not to mother him. You can’t force him to get help which he won’t accept till he looks at himself for himself. Take yourself and your child and move on.
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I felt this way before my divorce. When I had my son, my now ex- husband quit his job while I was on maternity leave. Then he lied about it. Refused to get a new job so I had to go back to work 3 weeks after having my son. I hated him for it. We were divorced a year later, it spiraled after I went back to work.
Maybe try therapy before throwing in the towel (I tried it)? I’d make sure he knows how you feel and has a chance to fix it before you just end it. Maybe he needs some therapy too, he might not be able to handle his situation on his own.
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It has nothing to do with him. That’s all you.
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Remind each other what you signed up for xxxx. Good luck xxxxx
You can’t help someone that’s doesn’t want to help themselves…
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We have been married for 49 years and I can honestly say I am really proud of my husband and the way he encourages me since we lost our daughter it’s really hard but I am so proud of him
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I have been there and done that. Once you lose respect for your husband, he no longer appeals to you in any way.
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Sounds like he is depressed and needs therapy try asking him if he wants to go talk to someone about he also probably hates his job but doesn’t want to quit either but he should definitely go talk with someone
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You are supposed to be his rock, support him when he’s down but also help pick him back up. Encourage him to do something he LIKES, maybe do something together?? Like start a garden or go on hikes, something that will get him going again, but you need to be there to help get it started…that’s what marriage is all about supporting each other when one is down. We can’t always be strong, everyone has a time of weakness. Be his rock, go to him, motivate him! Maybe even change the way you live your everyday?? Change can be good!!
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Divorce him so he get himself together and find an upgrade over u…ol ungrateful ass. If a man posted something like this, it’d be toxic masculinity, narcissistic, or whatever other bs excuse women use for their actions
Depression. Don’t take it personally . Def need to have a sit down and discuss your feelings with him, and he should share his. There’s no shame in counseling either. It helped me and my wife tremendously . Hope it works out.
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Could be he’s depressed and not too happy either
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