wants the cake and be able to eat it to, so two cakes?
Water your own grass …. 
so quick to dismiss as it’s too hard …. Love, marriage, life requires effort ….
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Yall are horrible …i hope you don’t get the advice your looking for.
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Your friends husband…you get what you deserve love 
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Everybody acting so innocent on here:rofl:
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Just remember karma is a bitch
I think you misunderstood the minister at your wedding. He said FORSAKING all others not PARTAKING of all others.
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Sickening. Hope he finds out!
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You need to get God in your life, quit sinning and ask for forgiveness!
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Cheater, hope your kids get to go with the father! So much for your marriage vows!
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they ain’t worried about any kids.piecesof shit
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Fucking ratchet! Destroying your husband, your children, AND your friend for your own “happiness.” Fucking disgusting!
Your friends husband? What a piece of shit you are. You must have no idea what the pain of a cheating spouse feels like. You are going to get caught, and when you do it won’t just be the spouse’s that are devastated, it will be the kids too. You will get no support here, whatever pain and loss you receive from this situation you deserve fully. I hope your kids and the kids of your friend never have to deal with a woman like you when they’re grown.
You are madly in lust. You will lose your children or worse destroy them for life. Grow up. You and your husband allowed the love to go out the window. Marriage is hard work for most. Quit your foolishness, go to counseling, confess what you’ve done, ask for forgiveness, and work on moving forward with your marriage.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am married and having an affair and do not want to lose my kids: Advice?
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He’s not going to leave his wife because he doesn’t want to be with you. You either need to stop the affair and focus on your marriage or divorce your husband and remain single until you can find a new man who is available and able to be in a relationship.
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I suggest if you’re not happy in your current relationship, you move on but not with “Mr grass is greener” bc 99% of the time, relationships that start off on those terms don’t last. Also BE SURE you are done in your current marriage. Try therapy, counseling, like exhaust all your options before ending it all. That decision will affect everyone including yourself if you find yourself having regrets down the line.
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Get a divorce. Also do some self reflection on why you think someone else’s husband is your true love bc clearly………… he is not.
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The affair guy is Not your husband’s friend.
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So neither one of you are worried about the damage, hurt, broken trust, broken homes, lost friendships, pain you’re causing your children, spouses and friends just losing the kids 
wow selfish much. Glad you’re not my friend. If you’re so unhappy in your marriage you leave or pick a single man at the least. God doesn’t send you someone else’s husband
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Leave. Both of them. Without question.
If you aren’t in love with your husband, move on. Find someone you are in love with, or develop a completely beautiful life on your own. As for your other partner, you are allowing yourself to be in the position of second-best. You will always come second to his wife and family, and over time you will grow to resent it. You deserve more for yourself, and healthy partnerships built on honesty and trust don’t involve hiding and secrets.
Both situations are holding you back.
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So if you ent cook and season your food to taste,you will go by your neighbor and eat your neighbors food ,instead of improving, your style of cooking,I sympathize with you,on your marital neglect, but go on.
What a person sow ,its sure to reap,the clock don’t stay on the right hand all the time.
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Things happen. You aren’t going to lose your kids. Conversations will be hard. If you are unfit, yeah I would be worried…The court doesn’t care that you cheated or the fact that anyone cheated for that matter.
Do whats best moving forward for yourself and your kids. Learn and grow from hard times and mistakes.
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I’m not judging BUT the best pieces of advice I have received are:
If you’re MADLY in love, you aren’t in love. You are blinded by lust and newness. It’s not healthy to be madly in love, because you become blind to sooo many things…
Also consider yourself in this moment. You already know you aren’t happy, change your situation because all you’re doing is abusing yourself. You and your kids deserve a happy mom even if that means you aren’t with your husband. Growing up I wished my parents would divorce because it just was not a healthy relationship for them or for us kids to have to watch.
YOU control your situation, now make it what you and your kids deserve.
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Maybe stop calling her your friend cause if you’re sleeping with her husband what kind of friend are you? Granted personal life’s shouldn’t have an effect on your relationship with the children but they need to be with the level headed parent who can guide them properly . You can’t even guide yourself
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He doesn’t want to leave his wife and kids… because in reality after yalls fun… he doesn’t really want to be with you 
if you’re not happy with your relationship with your husband, leave. I probably would be so tired of sneaking around. You guys will only hurt the ones around you.
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Grow up! Your children are learning from you! Is this what you want your children to endure around your grandchildren one day because its their “normal”?
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If you were really concerned about your children you wouldn’t be sneaking around with your friends husband. You wouldn’t be with anyone. Divorce your husband, heal, and put your kids first.
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You won’t lose yours but friends husband could have a nasty court battle on his hands to see his.
Who thinks I’m unhappy in my marriage so I’ll ruin and make my best friend just as unhappy in hers 
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Your husband will leave you… his wife, not so much… you’re both in love with the idea of being in love with each other… focus on your partner… give him that energy, and I promise you’ll be happier then you’ve ever been… once he feels you’re back in his corner he will come around… treat him how you want him to treat you… get back on track
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You all r so fast so to judge… I have been lied and cheated on by my ex husband, but u never know this lady’s story. Yes cheating is one of the worse things in the world, but u guys have no idea if her husband is a narcissistic maybe he told her if she leaves him he will take her kids and she will never see them again. Trust me ik women who stayed with their husband because they didn’t want to lose their kids. Plus odds are always stacked against men so i understand her lovers fear. Just give her advice and move on. My advice would be get things set up before you leave. Sit down and talk to ur husband. He may feel the marriage is over and wants to move on also.
Sounds like you made a mess what about the kids??? Don’t think u care about their feelings. Sounds like ur in heat . Grow up.
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You’re not in love with him. You’re in love with the attention. If you loved that guy you would’ve made the right choice and done things the right way.
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God doesn’t send someone else’s husband for you to cheat with. Cut the affair off. Always be honest. You will get caught eventually. And karma will come around
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You’re going to hurt the kids on both sides once they find out… and trust me… they will find out. Just get a divorce
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Those poor children. Being “madly” in love with another woman’s husband is yucky and god forbid the children find out cuz the trauma and hurt they will feel should be more important than this icky affair. If you aren’t happy divorce and grow up. The other man won’t devote because he doesn’t want to clearly. Open your eyes and think of the children not your lust fantasy.
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You not a true friend
You not a loyal spouse
Hope you teach your kids better
Divorce and seek joint custody or however it works for both schedules. You and your kids father that is.
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- If he isn’t willing to leave his wife, he isn’t MADLY in love with you. 2) You are the type of person that keep women from wanting their friends to be around their husbands. You’ve broken girl code.
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Sounds like she’s not your friend and that neither of y’all are good people. As an adult it should be easy to say I’m unhappy and want to see other people. Your kids will be effected by this and not positively. Even if no one else was involved. So I’d say why worry about the kids if you were never really worried about them?
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I just wonder what kind of advice you expected:thinking:
get a divorce when your unhappy and know things won’t work. Cheating is not the answer. And its funny your “madly in love” but he won’t leave his wife. Neither of you are madly in love, yall are confused as hell!!! Please don’t call her your friend when your sleeping with her husband. I hope yall get that ass whopping ya deserve!
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You both deserve what is coming to you. It’s going to come out and blow up in your faces. If your not happy in your marriage leave. The cheating is the lowest of lows. People like the 2 of you make me sick.
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If he’s cheating on her with you, he will do the same to you. Just like you will probably do the same to him. 
that’s not love. If you weren’t happy with your husband you should have been honest and upfront with him from the beginning and told him you wanted out. Cheating isn’t the answer.
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Stop having an affair, address the issues with your husband, and divorce him if you can’t work it. Stop cheating. How would you feel if your husband was doing that to you??
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Grow up and handle the business of your divorce. THEN, move on with a romantic relationship. Family court judges could care less about your relationship, they will separate assets/debts, etc. They will finalize/establish a parenting plan.
Unless you are physically or emotionally abusing your children (which has to be proven to the judge) you will not have parental rights removed.
Contact a few lawyers and go meet for consultations (typically free) then pick one, pay a retainer for representation.
Handle your business.
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You’ve both already decided that it’s worth losing your families over apparently so I honestly don’t know where the question is
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Truthfully, I hope you two get caught, and you do loose them! His kids and your kids, deserve better than both of you! You’re not even close to being a friend. 
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when she says she’s scared she will lose her kids I’m assuming she means when they find out they will hate her! Very understandable you not only broke up your family but another family also. I’m glad I’m not your “friend”. Your not a friend at all. This is not going to end well the best thing for you to do is come clean to everyone involved
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Hopefully you leave your husband and get with your friends husband and he leaves you then your friend and husband will get together and live an amazing life raising your kids . Karma karma 
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Quit cheating and get a divorce if you’re “friends” husband you’re sleeping with won’t get a divorce then he obviously doesn’t love you that much you’ll just do thing she won’t. The mistress never wins 
. Probably avoid getting married again.
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your kids should always come first 
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Oy.
Stop cheating. Why is that so difficult?
Get a divorce if you’re unhappy, then move on. I will never understand why this is so hard to do. Do people not understand how much cheating hurts people???
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If ya cared about the kids you wouldve just left your husband/wife instead you’ve gone and caused a whole lot more bullshit for the kids to go through. Good grief
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Twisted as! If your kids are given to your husband I understand because he looks a lot more mentally healthy then you, in saying that, I don’t know if he’s having an affair or not! How can you be “madly in love” but still live with another man? Your dreaming of a life you’ll never get. His “love” is vagina that his wife can’t often give because she’s raising children. Not sleeping around with a taken man how tf do people do this shit. LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND LIKE YOU SHOULDVE IN THE FIRST PLACE
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Is this a joke? Please do not ever call yourself a friend. You do not know the definition. Women like you make me sick. LEAVE! You’re breaking a part two Families.
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They never leave the wife. My husband had affairs. I still can’t get him to leave. Lmao.
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Stop having an affair and be a grown up. Get a divorce. Then resume dating.
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Would you like your children to be in a relationship as an adult the same as the one you are currently in?
There is no rule book saying you and your poor husband can’t live together but not be a couple. You need to talk with your husband and your “so called friend” about what is going on.
How would you feel if you were your husband?
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Basically stop having an affair. Be honest with your husband tell him your emotions happy and you’d like a divorce. Be amicable when it comes to the kids and be adults.
Have you given your marriage a go before you got into the affair?
Have you tried counselling? Communicating?
I feel really sad for everyone concerned and I feel like you all just need to eb honest with each other.
If you really love your children you won’t allowed yourself to do a regretful gesture which your children would hate you so much upon knowing that you are cheating their father.Focus to you family , pray to God to guide you do things right.
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He gets to have his children raised by his wife. His underpants cleaned and his shirts ironed. He gets to eat a wholesome hot meal with his family. He gets to have a sexual relationship with both you and his wife. He does not need to take you out to dinners and cinemas as your relationship is illegal. You only meet for sex. Your husband supports your family financially and emotionally whilst raising with you your children.
Do you really believe that when you have to live with Mr macdreamy and get to do all the boring housework without feeling appreciated that you will be as happy as you are now? Do you believe that once he gets to be in a proper relationship with you he won’t cheat on you with the first available woman ? Do you belive that your and his children will not hold you accountable for ruining their family stability when your lies and cheating comes out ?
My suggestion is to come clean to your partners and live with the consequences
If your new found love is as strong as you belive nothing will come between you. Come clean to your family and children. Raise them by example. When a relationship is over you have to end it and offer closure to all members involved. By lying and cheating you won’t get anywhere
You are neither here or there. You get high on adrenaline perhaps on not getting caught but it is a matter of time. Teach your kids that when you are not happy in your life you make changes happen. Get divorced and live your life. By explaining this to your family you will not loose your children. When they find out though of your affair they will hold you accountable and you will loose them for good
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I don’t have any advice but what comes to mind is the movie, “unfaithful” or Chris watts. You’re not in love, you’re in lust. Selfish. If you cared about the kids at all, this would’ve never happened.
I would keep it real with yourself…. You’re likely not “in love” with the friend, but rather in LUST. Major difference. To be truly in love, you’d have to be connected on all levels, and you can’t be, given you have to sneak around. He won’t leave his wife, because he doesn’t want to. Saying he’s afraid to lose the kids, is an excuse. STOP the affair. It’s wrong on all levels. Talk to a professional, and get to the route of your REAL feelings. Maybe you just have a disconnect with your husband, that can be worked thru. If not, agree to go your separate ways and co-parent amicably. Nobody should stay in an unhappy life, but an affair is NEVER the way. At the end, it hurts everyone involved.
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This makes me sick. If you’re unhappy, leave. At the end of the day, you’re hurting everyone, including yourself. What friend you are. Why not be afraid of the hurt you’re gonna cause? Instead just worried about losing your children. You know how fucked up that sounds. Grow tf & get your priorities straight
Is this some kind of a joke. You really put this foolishness on social media something is seriously wrong with you. Maybe those children need to be with their father after all, seems like you’re a non thinker
The grass is not greener on the other side 99.9% of the time.
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How shitty!!! Get out now already!!!
You are going to blow up 2 families for “madly in love”".
Grow up already and leave your poor husband to find someone who IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM
My husband had a affair and left his family for her. He is still with her but would like to have something on the side with me. The damage it has done to my kids is unthinkable. No she wasn’t my friend thank God. I don’t understand women who will go for seeing a married man. If he cheats with you he will cheat on you.
I’m 100% convinced half of these questions are fake because they’ve been soooo wild lately
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Yup, I tried and tried to get my 1st one to leave and I finally had to file myself. Then he fought me on the divorce! Go figure
Ok guys
Just remember in your answers
Let’s think about the Kids
Let’s not make this woman bitter about it
That won’t help them
I truly hope you two separate peacefully
You’re obviously Not happy and that isn’t a good model for children to see
Show them how to Properly handle these situations
Take your leave, and be grown about it
Your children Are Watching
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So do u love him more then ur children cause as it is ur risking it now why not go all the way
Why would you loose your kids over an affaffair the only way that happens is if your unfit you will bith more than likely have 50/50 unless thers a dispute
One big thing I hate along with a lier is a cheater! You are to tell the truth to your husband it will hurt him but u are being honest! Then get a divorce! Ypu will end up alone because the one u are with will cheat on u too! Good luck with this endeavor!
SIMPLE!! Stop seeing each other. Tell your husband instead of leading him on. My guess is that he will divorce you. Let him have some happiness also. Above all you have betrayed your friend for your own selfish reasons. You and your lover deserve each other to say the least.
Sad.
If you don’t love him anymore then leave!!
You act like coparenting doesn’t exist smh.
How do you know if your kids don’t know what’s happing? I’d hate to be there for that talk. Like someone said before grow up!
I’m sorry but you put women to shame! This is not ok on any level. Grow up and do better for your kids!
This behavior is childish. Handle your business. Don’t have affairs. And your friends husband??? Even when you’re single that’s a rule that you don’t date people connected to people in your circle. Millions of people on the planet and you screw with your friends husband?? Really? You have issues and need a therapist this is attention seeking behavior. And you aren’t in love…. It’s living a fairytale. That’s why it’s an affair. You don’t deal with his stuff like you would with your husband. It’s just fun flirty sex. Please seek a therapist before your children are effected. I think you forgot that THEY are your priority. You disrespected your kids and his. See a therapist please….
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The reason he won’t leave his wife for you is because you sweet girl are the side chick, you’re the easy one to get attention from, you’re the girl he can fake another life with and even if he did leave his wife for you he’s going to do the same thing to you it’s called karma. I don’t think I would be calling her my friend as a friend doesn’t screw your husband. I have been both the wife who is cheated on and I have been the woman who got cheated with on the wife, twice once I knew he was married once I did not know that he was married. But it doesn’t matter because both times I was in part a homewrecker. Because the actual homewrecker is the person who’s doing the cheating so you would be the homewrecker and the man you’re screwing would be the homewrecker not the other way around because you guys are screwing up the home life. If you don’t love your husband then you need to put your big girl panties on and you need to walk away from that marriage because all you’re teaching your children is how to be in a shitty marriage. So you’re intern going to make your children have shitty marriages because they’re going to see what you’re doing and assume that it’s normal.
So here’s an idea put your big girl panties on divorce that husband that you obviously don’t love walks straight the hell away from the man you’re screwing because he’s married and that makes you look like trash as it does him. And try being single until you can find yourself and realize exactly what it is that you need to be happy. Because until you do you’re just gonna be miserable in the life that you’re leading. Now on the subject of your children as long as you’re not a piece of crap you won’t lose your kids judges don’t care who cheated on who that doesn’t matter in custody what matters is if you can be a good parent. If you walk away from the marriage the right way, Then you guys will probably get 50-50 custody with one person being the person that the kids live with and the other person being the weekend parents and alternating holidays which is totally normal. So fix your crap and stop asking people if you’re gonna lose your kids because the only way you’re gonna lose them by doing what you’re doing.
Consequently you don’t get a free pass … stop the affair right now or be honest about it… sheesh 
maybe ask God what you should do? He’s got the answer but it’s not the sinful one you want…
So what you’re saying is you want your cake & eat it too? What is wrong with you? This is just sad. I hope she wasn’t your friend. And he isn’t a friend to your husband. He’s a joke. Get a divorce and move on or put this “I’m in love” energy on your husband.
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You know right from wrong . End this and move forward…
Not have an affair in the frst place x
You came here for what kind of advice?
So basically she wants no consequences for cheating on her husband, her friend with another cheater? You know what cheaters know about each other? That they are cheaters. Send the kids away for a few days and tell your husband about the affair. Rip it off like a band aid. Rehearse how you tell him and try to do it kindly and without blaming him. You need to do anything and everything to not hurt the kids with all of this. If you are afraid he will get violent please have a neutral party act as a liaison. Once you have done this work out a game plan whether it is counseling or divorce but your main objective is going to be helping heal the pain this is going to cause all involved. With it being summer maybe the grandparents can take the kids long enough for you guys to work out a future that you can both agree to. Break it off with the other cheating party for sure. He’s not leaving his wife for you and you are only going to hurt his kids with all of this. Try to leave as few victims in this as possible. It’s messy enough.
Whew. These comments are so mean. Prayers for you and your situation to figure it out!!
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What a hot ass mess. Shame on you for sleeping with your friends husband. Y’all knew it went to far.
What are you asking? Seems like you have exactly what you want.
Never sleep with anyone while in a relationship. Y’all gotta go through the current breakup before jumping in the sheets. Cart before the horse is just trash 
What do you do? Either be honest adults or cut that crap out. It’s not complicated.
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Is this a joke, u don’t want to hurt ur family, then don’t wreck it then!, Be mature and talk to ur husband and let him know u don’t want him! so he can then be without u living a double life. He should at least know u and ‘his’ friend are not the people u claim u are to him.
Ur lover isn’t committed to u so u are NOT madly in love because if u were he would of said he chooses u HE Hasn’t!
U need a deep reality check - ur lover won’t pick and has TOLD u so!
Ur husband deserves better!
U have been living a fantasy and it WIll all come crashing down.
It’s not love from ‘his mate’ U Are Just a FLING!
Sorry to be harsh but reality is,
it’s not if they find out - it’s when!
and that’s when carnage of two people fooling around will u fully understand why u need to be honest now x best of luck
This isn’t the group I thought it would be. 
I’m not here to pass judgement but you all the way around sound like a terrible person. bad friend, bad wife and clearly not a mother leading by good example. Maybe seek therapy and work on yourself.
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Loyalty is fucking dead, I swear!
Selfish & self-centered 100%! No matter what you do from this point forward, you have harmed your family! Your children deserve better!
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You don’t lose your kids for cheating…but cheating is bad…just leave 
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Don’t with him if you don’t love him it’s better than what you’re doing to him now be up front about everything it’s better to let him know that you don’t love him any more
Well maybe you should loose them…they deserve better!
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This is you right now. Knowing what your doing but still doing it knowing the outcome. Go get help.
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This is legit the saddest thing I’ve read today. Wow
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You both made that bed. Now sleep in it & reap your repercussions!
Instead of having an affair with ur friends husband, you should’ve set ur own husband down and discussed the marital issues. I don’t believe in staying together for the kids but u should have worked on ur own marriage, or at least called it quits, before stepping out and participating in the breaking up of a second family. U get absolutely no sympathy from me because you will reap exactly what u sow. This entire situation is not gonna end well. And the kids r the ones who will end up getting hurt.
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Your poor friend & husband go look in the mirror 
you’ll regret it
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