Did you really post this here hoping to get friendly, non-judgmental advice? FFS
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It seems like many comments went straight to judge you and no one really answered your question. So I would say first never stay together just for the kids. The kids know something is not right and it just ends up hurting everyone involved. Second you need to decide if you really are done with your husband and if so you need to end it. Take time for yourself and pray really hard about what type of person you want to be. If you stray from one man most likely you will stray again until you become whole and right with God. Learn to love yourself. Also, that man you are seeing is not leaving his wife for you. You are being played and ultimately everyone is going to suffer. I suggest you end the affair, end your marriage if you are unhappy, find yourself, and then find someone who you want to love you. Also, affair or no affair does not have anything to do with custody. If he is a good dad and is able to take care of them 50/50 custody is most likely what will be granted.
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love isnt a feeling it’s a commitment.
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I would want to know. I can not stand people sneaking around. Just tell me. It’s that simple. I may not like it… and your husband may not like it… but damn… I would rather be told you don’t wanna be with me… than to find out you are cheating. Just my opinion. 
Honey you about to end up real lonely and I don’t even feel sorry for you 
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If he won’t leave his wife there’s more to that story
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Jesus. Leave him. Why cheat on him? To hurt him? If it’s over it’s over. It’s 2021 be a damn co parent and move on.
I hate using this language but betraying both you husband and your friend makes you the worst kind of WHORE!!!
Maybe put your children’s needs ahead of you own
Jerry Springer called he’d like to talk to you about “ doing an episode “
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You’re having an affair with your husband and practicing what? I’m super confused
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Hunnnnnnyyyyy, you are nothing more than a piece of azz to him. And a crappy one at that.
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Madly in love? Lmao. No. If you were, you’d leave the people your cheating on.
Smh
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Your having a affair with your husband?
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To post this on a mama page, lol. I guess you asked for it.
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If you don’t want to lose your kids, stop having an affair.
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My son’s ever did that to their wife and I found out I sure the hell would tell her that’s despicable you’re doing the wrong thing end it quickly
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Leave the relationship and your husband… give it a while and maybe you’ll find some true feelings, you might think your in love but if you were you wouldn’t of put yourself in this position.
If you really cared about anyone but your self it would have never happened🤦♀️
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I feel awful for your husband and friend. This is just disgusting and disrespectful. You’re also hurting both of your kids by having this affair! Frankly the kids would be better off with their other parent, since you and your friend’s husband obviously spend time screwing each other instead of being their for your kids/family. Cheating isn’t okay and you’re putting all that time and effort into an affair, instead of your children. If you’re not happy with your husband you need to talk to him and figure it out faithfully, or walk away. You and this man have destroyed two families, and the kids involved are going to be effected the most. You two will reap what you sow…you lost your kids the minute you entered the affair.
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You don’t lose children to an affair…
Disgusting. Do you two even have morals? Respect? That’s the most distasteful thing you both could do while in a marriage. I’d be ashamed of you both if either of you were my parents.
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Girl code 101… NEVER get involved with each others partners… before OR after… living example right here… my 1st husband cheated on me with our neighbor then dated a mutual friend after we were divorced… you just DON’T do people dirty like that… plus it’s just disgustingly gross!!!
… only thing you’ll get out of that is an std like I did… my first husband gave it to me!!!
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First off you aren’t a friend girl. You’re far from it. Divorce and seek joint custody. No need to be a homewrecker and cheat. I assume you don’t know what that feels like or you wouldn’t have done it. Have some morals bc your children need them or maybe your husband can. Dude isn’t going to leave his wife lol
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I’d call Jerry Springer…
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One day your kids may CHOOSE to not speak to you
When u do hurtful things and more lies hurt bs on top so your actions won’t affect you. It will catch up and consequences of ur actions
Will come back and bite u in the ass.
Here’s something for ya. DONT DO IT!
I was married for over 10yrs to a man that slept with THREE of my “Best Friends” during our relationship…That doesn’t mean he’s a bad father BUT it made him a shitty partner. Ultimately, I left his ass because my children deserve a happy home and to SEE what REAL love is…Just because your a cheater and an ass too - doesn’t make you a bad mom…just a terrible role model and of course a shitty partner. Take note how your “new love” interacts with his WIFE in your presence because THATS how he’ll act/treat you when he cheats on you too someday. It’s not love - it’s LUST…make YOURSELF happy if your partner isn’t and GTFO
I hope your friend gets with your husband
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Yeah I can’t believe you even posted this 
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People not read this properly?
Makes about as much sense as the mad hatters tea party lol 
She’s having an affair with her husband?
There’s no love so she’s having a coffee with his friend?
But they’re practising with each other for the kids?
Am I the only one in this Matrix that’s missing something lol
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If it’s love yall wouldn’t want to be with the old spouses… if he won’t leave id cut ties. And if he does want to leave yall both need to do it to avoid any negative repracutions(sp)
Wrong! nothing good will come of it…
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First, prepare for the consequences of your actions.
Second, confess your sin to God, your husband and your friend.
Repent, turn from evil and sin no more.
Your “love” for this other man is an illusion brought by the devil to trick you into being unfaithful and to break apart your marriage.
Your children will suffer the consequences of your actions.
Be prepared. The man with whom you have had the affair will abandon you and your relationship to try and save his own backside.
His wife will stay because she needs him… even if only for the kids.
Be prepared. Good doesn’t come from evil. Turn to Jesus to save you from yourself. Pray. Ask His forgiveness, then confess to your husband and ask his forgiveness.
The first you will receive immediately.
The second takes time. A lot of time.
You are the one who has caused this, now you must face the consequences.
God will bring healing in His own time.
We have all been deceived by the enemy at one time or another, so there is no hate coming from me.
You’re in for a living hell.
It isn’t going to be the ending for which you hoped.
Your world and hopes will come crashing down around you. You will lose this man, your friend and probably your marriage, but you can’t lose Jesus. He will fight for you, even at your most unlovable. Turn to Him and do as His Word says.
It will all be okay in time, but you must first face the consequences.
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They never leave the wife
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Grow up. Be honest. Save your spouse’s the heartbreak because they deserve better than you two.
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You wouldn’t be doing what your doing if you were worried about your kids! And if neither of you are willing to be honest with your spouses and do things the right way then your clearly not “madly in love” with each other!
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Therapy, for the whole family.
You won’t lose your kids. It’s 2021.
How about just stop…God will NEVER send another woman’s husband into your life!! I’m sorry, but there is no madly in love when you are married and he is married, it’s called lust and the fascination comes from the fact y’all are hiding it. Leave that man alone and divorce your husband if you don’t care about him anymore. I assume you don’t know what it feels like to be cheated on!!
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Wow, do your husband and friend dirty. Hope you get what’s deserved.
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You’re not a very good friend
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Why not split up THEN start a new relationship
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How dare you sleep with your Freind’s husband an affair is one thing but the Freind’s man so messed up I would never in my biggest whore day do that or even one of their ex’s some things are off limits stop it all
I think u really need somd help…
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Quit being a bunch of a holes that’s what… you both clearly deserve each other for thinking ANY of this is okay!
Yeah, you’re husband will take the kids, his wife will take their kids. Yall will be slandered for being p.o.s and you’ll grow to hate each other! Hope it was worth it!
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“Oh no! We’re both cheating on our partners! What do we do??” How about… stop?
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An affair causes only heartache all around kids included. Your an adult put a check on those hormones and grow up ! If you want to see other men get a divorce and live an honest life! Share custody .
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Is this actually for real ??? Do you really think you’re gonna get sympathy , from anybody ?!?! Wow !!
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Are you kidding? Sounds like you need serious therapy so you can figure out why you’re comfortable with your life choices, not help with getting away with adultery
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I’ll be the one to say shit happens I guess but you need to be honest with yourself first and do what’s right. You committed to that man in marriage and you are doing him wrong if you are not happy you owe that man enough to leave. And your children. And your friend deserve that same respect. You need to think about what it is you really want here and do what’s right and it may not be what’s best for you you may lose a lot of respect but you have to pay for the consequences of your actions
Be an adult. Stop having an affair and divorce your poor husband so he can know the truth and move on with his life.
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How would you feel if you were in your husbands place hurt angry stupid. Well that’s what you are and deserve. I feel sorry for your children. You should have spent that time and energy on them and your husband
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Leave your husband. You’re not happy and staying in a relationship for the kids is not a good thing to do! Trust me you’ll realize it later in life. If your lover doesn’t leave his family that’s on him! Do the right thing for your or you’re going to lose your kids respect and have a whole mess of other issues!
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Wow. This is fucked up.
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Lady go watch those and think about this status again lol
The fact that you’re having an affair won’t affect your custody battle. It can affect your divorce (he could get you on adultery if he has actual proof) but judges don’t care who is sleeping with who as long as the kids are taken care of.
On another note, you need to either be honest and end your marriage or stop the affair and be honest and maybe repair your marriage. You’re not in love. It’s the affair cloud. It’s an escape from reality but the reality is the same problems you have with your husband will be the same you have with this man.
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Not much common sense ya got huh??!
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Your poor kids and partners.
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You could die alone…in a hole.
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Wish We had a name so we could tag her husband in this!!
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Karma is a bee-yotch. I hope you get your kids taken from you. Actually, I hope you lose EVERYTHING!
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Once your kids find out what you did they’re going to hate you.
I am an adult now, my mom did that stuff when I was a kid and ruined the family and now I hate her for it. Good luck.
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You are a shit show and a half. Good lord.
Your like the worst friend a person could have. Your fake and not loyal you definitely deserve to be alone. You betrayed your friend that loves you and cares for you. And in the end you back stabbed her.
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You reap what you sew
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Cheating is bad enough but then you cheat with a “friends” husband ….oooooooo honey you done fucked karma in the wrong hole and she’s a real bitch
If he will cheat with you, he will cheat on you…you are NOT the exception to the rule. I hope someone does to you what you did to your husband
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Grow up think of all the lives you are screwing up
Don’t commit adultery
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Is this… for real? These questions get dumber and dumber. Like what do you expect to hear from people when you post this type of question?
“Well, first you’re gonna wanna start stealing money very carefully from your joint account so you can afford the better lawyer when you leave him.” Gtfoh. lol
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He ain’t leaving her cuz he don’t wanna be with you either. 
Free sex
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Selfish from both of you snakes. Should’ve divorced both partners before you all started a relationship. You’re going to do nothing but hurt all kids and partners involved.
Oh and she’s not your friend anymore. You lost that status the moment you f’ed her husband. Sorry not sorry… no sympathy (which is what she wants) for this ridiculous person and question.
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Your poor husband 
and don’t call her your friend because friends definitely don’t sleep with your husband…oh and you’re both horrible people if you’re unhappy leave why hurt and betray everyone you’re SUPPOSED to love
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Whewwww ma’am. He doesn’t love you. Why you think he won’t leave his wife and kids? He will never leave them for you or anyone else. If you don’t love your husband then tell him the truth so he can leave you and move on with his life if that’s what he wants. You and your friends husband need to put your big girl panties on and deal with it now
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Cut it off, come clean and decide where to go from there.
Hook your husband up with his wife and all y’all can live together in one big house happily ever after. 
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Tell each other spouses, maybe they like each other
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People who judge others and are hateful about it need to turn that finger around and heal what is triggering them so hard. People make mistakes jeez. I do hope you make the right decision and come clean. It’s what’s best.
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Maybe you could swap husbands and still share kids
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Wow with your friends husband… not only are you a bad wife but a trash friend. Hope they find out and both of you and your lover lose everything in court.
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Just because a marriage ends badly doesn’t mean anyone should lose their parenting rights. That’s crazy and what happens ususally and it needs to stop because only the children are suffering. Being a cheater doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent, it means you’re a bad partner lol so just be a good parent and you shouldn’t have to worry about losing your kids.
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Leave and go for it. What if you’re meant to be? Just because you both married someone else doesn’t mean that is your person. Kids are no reason to stay married especially if you are unhappy!
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Tell your friend. She deserves better than you.
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Either STOP now and rekindle what you once had. Things arent always greener on the otherside its greener where YOU water it. Reap what you sow but make a choice ans follow through now before its too late and its out.
Please help??? Wtf??? Get a fucking divorce and then go hoeing around like the decent women do!!! FFS 
You should of thought about that before you both committed adultery . Why should yalls partners be without their kids? What makes yall better for them? Because yall are in a false love? Yall will grow bored of each soon too. I hope they find out for their own sakes. If yall didn’t want to be with your spouse yall should’ve both been up front BEFORE this. I feel sorry for them. Not yall. Karma will get yall one way or another.
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The first ones to find you two out will be the kids! They will lose respect for you and possibly more then likely become resentful and act out! Kids know what’s up I sure did as a kid! You know when the passion and lust dims married couples think oops the love is gone! Nooo it changes hopefully it grows into something deeper and stronger if your looking to keep the passion alive in a partner, baby your going to skinning a lot of road! On another note, screwing your friends spouse! Your a dirtbag! Karma!
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You won’t lose custody of your kids.
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Not be a piece of shit would be my answer… lol
You should have got divorced before your " affair ". You committed adultery
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T•O•X•I•C.
Honey, for ONE second think for a moment here. If he is cheating on you, but has a wife & THREE kids with this woman. How you got him, will be the same way you lose him. Highly doubt your madly in love, his wife probably just quit doing her wifey duties, because WE NOTICE. & it’s people like you, that the rest of the female population DESPISE. If she’s your “friend” your friendly duty shouldn’t be screwing her husband. 
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What can you do stop the affair! And if he was madly in love with you he’d leave his wife he’s probably only going to get visitation anyway so… sounds to me like y’all want your cake and eat it too. If you’re going to stay with hubby then end affair and really work on your marriage because staying for your kids is only going to make you miserable and unhappy and your kids will be miserable and unhappy
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This exact post could have been written by my ex-husband. Therefore, I will, somewhat, withhold my personal judgement. Just because you are a POS spouse doesn’t mean you are a POS parent. However, you need to focus on getting a divorce and coparenting. If your husband finds out about the affair, it will be all out war over the children and coparenting will be very difficult.
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Can we all pitch in to put $ on her friends books when she beats OPs ass? If OP is calling her a friend yet sleeping with her husband somebody’s gonna get hurt!!
You don’t have to lose your kids.
Live your live do what makes you happy.
Wow! Well my fiance just left me for my best friend and they discovered the only thing they really loved was hurting me. Now they are broke up and I have everything and will be keeping it. I hope your husband does the same. Both your spouse’s deserve better and I hope you get what you deserve.
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Y’all win the prize. A bunch of losers!
Madly in love with a cheater who won’t leave his wife you don’t know what to do now huh?
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I can’t help but shake my head!