So my brother is not biological related to me. But he has been like a brother to or for almost 30 years. I am closer to him than i am my bio siblings. And no we have never had any kind of sexual contact. Any man who told me I wasn’t allowed to speak to him would be out my door. Sounds like you are very insecure and will end your marriage. You hate this girl just cause she’s got a vagina. You are still in your last marriage with a new man. You are gonna be left on the curb and she’s still gonna be his BFF.
It’s easy for others to tell you to leave your marriage … But suppose they are really just friends??? You say you don’t trust her, but do you trust your husband??? Have you even really tried to have a friendship with her yourself??? It’s hard to walk away, and it will hurt … but is it worth it… yes his answer was totally wrong and inconsiderate to your feelings… but sometimes as woman we over react before we think, cause we are very emotional… Try talking to him and her first, before you leave your marriage… Remember he married you
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You need to get over yourself
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My ex used to do this I even married him thinking it would stop it never did it just got worse aswell as other stuff to but do yourself a favour you know how u feel trust that always don’t get caught up in the excuses if he loves u he’d respect u and do whatever it takes to ease ur mind my new bloke who I’ve been happily with for three years has nothing to hide and if I say to him I’m uneasy he says hel back off but also makes sure that next time he introduces me and makes sure tht I’m comfortable ect and if I’m still unsure he will back off completely and he’s honest about anything phones always just out he gets a text he says check tht babe and stuff like that xxx don’t get stuck and make ur life a misery thinking about it if he can’t be honest with u give him the choice u or her and see for yourself x
To be honest you should give him an alternative eather she gos you go , because a man SHOULD always put his wife first , and she as a REAL women and as a good friend should understand that her friend" who is like a brother to her" happyness and marriage should come first. If he says that he chooses “the friend” then say fine , and start packing some clothes and stay with family /a friends place or even somewhere on your own dont give in and allow some space cause you need it, then couple day later ask the same cause you don’t deserve to be 2nd class to someone who isn’t even blood related and he probably hasn’t told her that you feel this way. So he needs to grow up. But possibly before that go straight to a marriage counseling together and they might be able to get him to see it from your point of view. If a marriage is worth losing to him well then you know where you stand and unfortunately let him go and go get you back.
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You have absolutely no right to forbid him from talking to her, simply because you don’t like her.
That was your first mistake.
Your second mistake was thinking you could handle a relationship. You can’t. You need to work on yourself.
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You need counselling and punctuation.
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My husban has a girl best friend she is like a sister to him. Even my new born has her name 
if there is no trust in your relationship then get out but i think you think your new husband is like your old… what if the shoe was on the other foot?.. food for thought. You sound controlling or lack self esteem from your first marriage. Dont bring that baggage in to this relationship.
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Let him talk to her.i would.put an app on his phone. See if you can catch him out visiting her .Don’t tell him.If he can be sneaky,so can you.
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I’m sensing you are the problem here, get some help. Next friend the girl as in…what is she up to, no real info from your side and see what’s what. You friend her now with all your insecurities and she will use them against you…you gotta be strong and not falling to pieces. ONE year and you have issues now? Did you even date longer than being together because this girl had to be in his life before you? Maybe you have a “guy” friend and hook her up with him…then she won’t be a threat. I think there is more to this story than you have said, examine what it is that you want…control? feel better about yourself? Trust issues?
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If it’s not excpeptable to you. Then get out of marrage . he not going to choose you over her. As he should do As your his wife. He will always close her get out while you can . you should be his number one.
Give him an ultimatum… that’s what I did… if he loves you he will choose you over his friend x if not well the answer is there x
I’ve had male best friends and still have one. If I was told I could no longer speak to him I also would not do it and potentially it could ruin the relationship. Asking someone you love to stop being friends with someone they knew before you is wrong in my opinion. He is not your ex.
If you need tonchange someone fornthem to be right for you, then they are not right for you.
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Did you read their messages? Were they flirting or was it innocent conversation??
People can have friends of other genders though?
Maybe look at yourself first and figure out where the insecurities are coming from especially with this happening in your first marraige… did ur ex actually cheat?
Men and women can be friends, and friends are really important to have otherwise ur isolating him and yourself… do u not talk to any males!!!
I think u need to work on some trust issues and look at being more comfortable and confident in yourself otherwise it will get worse and you will end up really paranoid and affect all relationships xx
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Get yourself a nice new ‘brother to you’ to talk to. See if he’s still laughing then.
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I shocked by some of the comments on here. Especially ones such as “get over yourself”. Incredibly insensitive and I hope you people never have to endure such an insecurity. This women needs support, understanding and helpful advice. not trashing.
I have experienc of the same issue. And it’s not a matter of just accept and get over it. The woman in question was very territorial when we first started dating. She’s over it now but my view of her is tainted. And if my husband felt that way about a boy friend of mine I would not put him such a position out of respect.
Sister my foot his sleeping with her
Its actually classed as domestic abuse to make anyone stop talking to their friends and giving ultimatums. You need to look this up. Then go seek professional help for being insecure and controlling.
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Ohhhh man, this is a tough one…I went through this for the first 5 years of my relationship but she was an ex girlfriend. She was always there, always lurking…went as far as telling him our son should have been their child. When I told her to back off and respect that he had a wife she told me I was insecure. He always told me that was his friend, like a sister. I saw all the signs but I was in love and so I chose to trust. Until she went as far as messaging my Mother-in-Law, that was what was needed her free reign to end. Trust is a big thing, I know what I will never put up with again. There are some real good people out there. I being one of them, I don’t want anyone’s husband or wife, just a lonely person looking for a friend lol. You’ll break your own heart jumping to conclusions though.
Oh i felt you in the past, but thanks God he’s changed!!
Ring her tell her she can have your husband or all of you go out to dinner together I bet you he will refuse to do that so there’s your answer
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Life is too short. Let him keep his female friend and you do what makes you happy even if it means leaving him.
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People will talk to each other. If they start going out to dinner or movies, then you should worry. Because this happened to you before, you will always feel insecure in any relationship you have now. If you cant get it out if your head, then you are better off single.
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Men can have women as friends!! Just because your ex husband lied and cheated doesn’t mean your new husband will with a long term friend. If you stop him having friends you isolate him. Have your tried getting to no her or is it simply because she’s a woman you don’t like her?
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kick him to the curb………
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Get yourself a guy friend that’s just like a brother!
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my fiance had female friends and I had male friends, he didn’t like me talking to them, I quit, he didn’t quit talking to his female friends, for years when I asked, finally I put an end to it. Don’t listen to everyone judging you, no one is perfect and it is okay to have insecurities, whether anyone admits it, everyone has them.
Edit the fact he doesn’t care about your feelings is enough to build new insecurities.
It is hurtful. Goodluck
I have a male friend, that is not blood related, who is like a brother to me. I would dump any partner who expected me to no longer be friends with my best mate!
My ex did the same thing
I wouldn’t trust him for a minute; why all the secrecy?
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My husband and I have friends of the opposite sex - we didnt make those friends poof and disappear when we got together (that’s not healthy btw). We DID draw the line on doing things with them without the other so! I dont go out to dinner or a movie with my guy friends anymore and he doesnt with his girlfriends. If there is socializing to do, we do it as a group 
it’s never been an issue. Now, if because those are the mutually agreed rules, if he started sneaking around to hang out with her behind my back I would jump to conclusions pretty quick because why would he need to do that unless hes being shady. But talking on the phone or at work? Nah.
Get yourself oh he’s like a brother to me! See what happens.
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Sad…men look for women like you.
You look for men who treat like this.
Maybe it’s time to be alone focus on self.
No respect there!
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That’s because women have insecurities it’s okay for women to have male friends but once a male has a female as a friend he’s cheating or she’s trying to hook up with him that’s why you’ve already been divorced once. If he’s been friends with her before he’s been with you if they didn’t hook up then why would they hook up now women are fucked
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Sometimes partners DO have friends of the opposite sex who are just friends. Although if she is a new best friend it is a problem. If he has known her for years I would accept it as that unless something else comes up. Marriage is based on trust.Because you had one bad marriage does not mean you can inflict that into this marriage. You seem possessive and have a loss of self asteem. There is nothing wrong with talking to others. Build on your trust issues
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I am in a situation where I am the “girl” friend, or I have “boy” friends. It’s completely fine for him to have a close friend of the opposite sex. What us not ok is you controlling who he is and isn’t allowed to talk to, and going through his phone without permission. These are actually some of the warning signs of emotional/psychological domestic abuse. Remember your issues and insecurities are not someone else’s responsibilities and whilst it’s ok to explain how it makes you feel it is not ok to expect someone to change for you, it is not ok to tell them who they can speak to and it is not ok to monitor who they are talking to, what they are saying etc.
Always remember; If it looks like a Rat, and smells like a Rat, it’s a Rat!! Don’t be foolish!!
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I suppose it depends if you knew they were friends/like bro sis before you got married, then if you had an issue maybe you shouldn’t of married him. I have male friends and my boyfriend hates it but it’s kinda tough becos I grew up in a male dormenant house and I get in better with men than wonen. I would sit him down and tell him how you feel and the reason you feel this way he probebly as no idea your bothered abou it. But then what do you want him to do ? Not speak to females or have female friends ??? . If someone’s going to cheat they will cheat either way you just need to work on your trust issues . Xx
You sound very, very stupid. This could be why you make poor choices. Perhaps open a book instead of your multiple husbands’ cell phones.
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If she would be like a sister to him, he wouldn’t talk to her behind your back. But on other hand you can have opposite sex as friends but make you a part of it keep your eyes and ears open and follow your heart if there something going on you will know. Watch how he acts to her when you around you will know and only you will know. Wish you luck hope your marriage works out stay 
strong
TRUST is a HUGE part of any good relationship. If you can’t trust your husband because of something an EX did then that’s an insecurity problem on your part. Advice…invite her over for dinner sit down with her and your husband and get to know her. My husband has several female friends from before we were married and guess what…i now have several new friends! Just because your ex hurt you doesn’t mean your husband will. Give this girl a chance the ONLY reason I see that you DON’T like her is because she’s female.
My husband has two female friends he’s very close with. In the beginning, I can’t deny-I was a little uncomfortable. I’ve been skeptical and jealous at times. But 4 years later we are still together! And all those insecurities and suspicions I had were WRONG.
It is very possible for a man and woman to be friends. Don’t you have guy friends you never slept with?
Many of you should be ashamed of the “leave him” advice that just flows so quickly. Relationships are not disposable.
Please look inside yourself and be honest. Is he flirting, neglecting you, giving you reason to mistrust him? If the answer is no, you need to look at your own insecurities. It’s hard when you’ve been lied to and cheated on. Because it’s only natural to fear that it will happen again. But your post didn’t say his messages with his female friend had any romantic or sexual nature. Perhaps it’s time to invite her over and make a friend. Find out what makes her special to your husband. Odds are, you would probably like her too.
Now if there IS flirting than that’s different. Set your boundaries and stick with them. Good luck!
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One everybody has to trust each other trust is a very big word the opposit sex can actually have guy friends and girlfriend and not actually be well involved.
Just remember the word trust if you can trust them
A MAN that loves you will not be afraid or hesitate to hurt another woman’s feelings to protect yours!
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Don’t judge him on what your ex husband did as it may be innocent. If you’re not happy get a guy friend, or better still make her your new best friend
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Let him have her, he will come around or else…
Ask him to meet her or for the three of you to hang out. See what his reaction is…If she really is just a friend, he wont have a problem with it. If he does, well there’s your answer.
Drop his ass he already stated he staying friends whether u approve or not. Fuck it get yaself a boy toy u WIll FEEL BETTER
First, have you sat down and spoken to her to see where your mistrust of her comes from?
Secondly, if he says there is nothing to worry about, then he should have nothing to hide. He should be open about talking to her to help ease your insecurities from your past. But also don’t hold your past against him.
Bottom line, without trust, there is no relationship. So either the two of you work on building that back together or you will continue to be driven apart.
I don’t get it, you want to divorce your husband because he is talking his friend? Do You have proof that something more that friendship is going on between them? Divorce is not always the answer to every problem. Work on you, work on your marriage, pray and trust everything with be okay.
If you have male friends, why can’t he have female friends? Now, if they banged before and decided not to go into an actual relationship, then I would just leave because once they did that, there’s a chance of them hooking up when you and him fight or whatever.
Tell him you understand he has to talk to her at work . When not at work to respect your feelings and don’t talk to her. Tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable. If that doesn’t work then ask him to go to a marriage counsel. If he refuses then he isn’t into his marriage . File for a divorce . Go on with your life. Don’t play second fiddle to anybody. Your his wife and he should not put no woman before you period.
Not tryin to hurt u. Jus let me say this and please listen. U r a women and u need bck jus as muc as u gve to him. If hes doin thgs behind ur back that he doesnt want u to do and talkin to a sister while ur not eva around. The icing on the cake: ur his wife and if u requested a dismissal of anotha that comes immediately no questions or suggestions. What hurts help but leaves a deep scar. Straighten ur crown up now and look urself n the mirror and tell urself whom u see and what’s ur worth and ur desires. N tell urself u luv u and be deeply honest to urself. Breath stand slow down. Looks at ur past and then put the puzzle together. Mke a decision and mke sure whateva u do u can handle the outcome. Muc luv my sista be strong. U r countin on u.
Just ask to meet her, if he refuses you have the answer
I see zero reason that a man can’t be friends with a woman… especially if she was around before you. I don’t understand how people expect their spouses to cut off friends of the opposite sex. It’s just wrong.
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Biggest question here is how long have they been friends…
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Not all men are the same. My husband settles my insecurities and fears. If hes not doing that for you that’s when it should be a concern.
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Why does no one in here ever use punctuation? 
If you can’t trust him, then there is no relationship
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It’s really the principle of the matter, having respect for another’s relationship/marriage. My husband speaks to no one same sex or opposite who doesnt address or acknowledge me.
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Oh boy… I can’t even…
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With all kindness intended my recommendation is counseling.
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Why can’t he have a female friend? She was probably in his life long before u came onto the scene. Try working on your own insecurities and stop taking them out on him. If you can’t do that, then why are u even in a relationship or got married?!
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Husband and y’all haven’t even been together a whole year???
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she was obviously in the picture before you so why haven’t you addressed your insecurities before you married him?!
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How much do you trust him?
Seems like you’re letting the past get in the way of being able to trust your man. If you haven’t seen anything alarming, back off. Your insecurities will cause more issues
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So ur gunna just keep running to court house and file for divorce every time there is an issue ??
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So I guess that means I can’t have any male friends because I’m married!!
Not everyone is the same. You’re just gonna divorce him because he talked to someone.
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Sounds like you’re the issue 
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If you gut is telling you something that may have happened or going to happen listen to your gut! Also I would talk to him one more time and if he isn’t going to stop than maybe you should tell him that you want a divorce. Best of luck to you. It sucks that men suck!
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You’ve known this man for a year and married him?? How long have you even been divorced?? Honestly, I think his friendship is the least of your problems. You seem to be stuck in your last relationship. I’m not sure you should have married this man so quickly.
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If you knew of this sister friend before you married him then you don’t have a right to try and change things now that you are married. If he created this friendship after you guys were married then I’d have a problem too.
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I see a problem with him not listening to your feelings. Not even validating them. That us what I find troubling.
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You’re being unreasonable. She was in his life long before you. Make him choose he will choose her. I have plenty of guy friends and my partner accepts they are not threats to him. Stop being insecure or you will blow it. And stop checking his phone it’s so disrespectful when you have no real reason to.
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Idgaf I made mine stop talking to the girl he claimed was his best friend. I dont care if shes before you, you not disrespecting me after I asked you to stop talking to her. I told him we were done if he continued, he stopped that day. Tell me I’m wrong I honestly dont care. 
that’s me.
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Has he brought her around you to attempt a friendship between y’all? That is my first question. I have guy friends that I have been friends with for years. I refuse to give them up for anyone, but I’m also willing to bring them around anyone I’m with.
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When I confronted and questioned them both about the “friendship” and the too close for comfort… their response was, Ewww No, she’s like a sister and Hell no he’s like a brother…
Now my oldest son had a sister 4 months younger!!
So NOPE… DON’T TRUST IT!! NIP IT IN THE BUTT… NOW!!
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You sound so insecure
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Everyone’s disagreeing with you, but I don’t have male friends, and my fiancee doesn’t have female friends. Has been this way since we first started dating, and next august will be 3 years.
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Go with your gut. If this is someone who he met after you were married, I’d give him an ultimatum. You or her. If it’s not and he’s known her for years then remember HE CHOSE YOU
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Jumping the divorce gun pretty damn quickly huh? You jumped the marriage gun pretty quickly too tho. Demanding he stop talking to her is the LAST thing that will work. We don’t have friends of opposite sexes in my marriage, but I’ll be damned if I’m dropping the one guy friend i have that’s like a brother to me and has been for half my life. Get over your insecurities
Does the content of their texts give you cause for worry, or just that they’re texting? I see nothing wrong with opposite-sex friendships in marriage, unless there is a history or other reason for concern. If they’re just friends, and have been for a while (before you came into the picture?), I’m sorry, but I think the issue is all on you.
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First 1 man is not the same as anpther and to compare them ia wrong. If tbey were friends before you got together it is not right for you to tell him he can no longer talk to her. As husband and wife yoi guys need to communicate with eachother. Be up front amd honest with your feelings abd let him fo the same. He shouldnt have to hide her from you but may be do to the fact you dont want them to have communication. I have male friends and my hubby has female friends we are both fine with it we have had our friends longer than weve been with each other and no way we would forbid one another from talking to/seeing someone we care about. Any new friends are mutual. We also hang out with eachothers friends though. The biggest thing here is trust and communication.
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If they were friends before you even got together you can’t stop him. I have a friend from high school that was my friend before I got with my fiance now. He’s not allowed to tell me I can’t be friends with him. And he’s told his wife the same. His wife is actually a pretty amazing woman and I couldn’t have asked for a better person for him.
The above comment too. I agree with that 100%.
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Ask him how it would feel if turned around the other way?
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Maybe try to get to know her instead of demanding that he can’t have her as a friend. That’s now how a marriage works. And don’t compare him to your ex husband. That’s not fair to him. My husband tried comparing me to his ex wife and I nipped that shit in the bud. IM NOT HER. And I wasn’t gonna let him treat me like I was.
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that relationship sounds exhausting
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Have you tried being her friend to? Is there a reason besides her talking to your husband that you dont trust or like her?
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It sounds like you didn’t like her before and sounds like you JUST don’t like her just on the fact they were close friends before you came into the picture because of what your ex did to you. Better make sure you have something to be worried about before your marriage ends for no reason.
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Wow. Your insecurities will leave you lonely.
If you dont trust your husband and have to dictate who he speaks to then hey… don’t be married to the man.
This woman was in his life before you and it has nothing to do with you. You must not have any friends. 
I would be irritated with someone like you. I wouldn’t break life long friendships for someone who is insecure about themselves or our marriage. You need professional help for your own demons before you do push your husband away. Smh.
There is great value in friendships… sorry that you have never experienced anything like that. You are extremely selfish.
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They allowed to have friends of any gender lmao
Are you being insecure or have you seen something incriminating? My best friend for 32+ years is a guy. My husband knows him and knows us. He knew before we got married. My BFF isn’t going anywhere
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If she was there before you, then you were already aware of it when you jumped into this marriage. You should’ve accepted her or left him before saying I do and then questioning it a year later.
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I feel like you are going to take this feed and run back to him and say " See everyone agreed with me"
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Well I honestly don’t know. You married him because you trust and love him, give him a chance and if he cheats then leave him
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Men always say " a sister" even when it’s there ex…hmm probably not appropriate to date someone and then call em a sister…I know several
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