So My brother and his son’s mom are not together. So they have shared custody. Everything was going good; they both held up their end. Out of nowhere one day, she tells my brother that he is no longer allowed to have his son, not sure exactly why. So he vents about it, and I come to his defense because I know he is a good dad, though a tad bit hot-headed. Flash forward a couple of months, and out of nowhere, he can see his son again. Her only stipulation was that it could not be at our mom’s house (She was grandparent rights every weekend) because that would mean that my side of the family would see him more than her side. So I tell them both that he is more than welcome to my house, while my brother has him. If they being at my house for a couple of days a week is what it takes for my brother to see his son then I’m going to do it. Now herein lies the problem. My nephew’s birthday is coming up, and I told my brother that I wanted to go to his birthday party. A few days go by, and he tells me that she said I wasn’t allowed to go to his birthday party because a few months ago I defended him on how she was acting and keeping his son away from him. So their son is at my house for half the week. I watch him for both of them, so they both can work. I make sure that he is well taken care of, always clean, always fed, has everything he needs if they fall short. And I am not allowed to go to his birthday party. So I am good enough to have him at my house 3-4 days straight a week, good enough to watch him and make sure he is safe, but not good enough to go to his birthday party? Am I allowed to be mad about this? Should I be? Should I say something? I’m at a loss. Ty.
Sounds like you have a very toxic sister. I can relate. I haven’t talked to my sister in nearly 3 years and I don’t know my only nephew at all. Sometimes you just gotta let shit be.
So petty. I’d be angry too.
First and foremost this chick has issues, so ignorant smh. Your brother needs to toughen up and do what he has to do for his rights, the kid should be around both family. Third!!! Do your own party for him at your home and dont invite her, simple…good luck!
Have a party for him at your place every kid loves a party and 2is super awesome turn lemons into lemon aid don’t always make drama out of unnessary bs, live happy,make his life simple sounds like it’s pretty complicated for the kiddo.good luck
That’s some serious crap she is using that child to hurt people. What a horrible human being, you have every right to be upset . My suggestion you throw him a birthday party at your house get him a cake and invite your family … that poor kid
Sounds like the type of drama I like to avoid by minding my own business. Throw your own party girl.
Sounds like she’s being spiteful, sorry but using a child is not going to go well in the long run, have a party for him when he’s with you that way you can do what you’d like for his birthday.
Pft I’d just go to the party anyway.
Go to the party anyway…
I’m gonna be blunt. Your brother needs to grow a set of balls. He needs legal visitation. He’s needs to document all the bullshit she’s pulling. And you need to tell her to find her own damn babysitter.
Just have your on birthday party with him problem solved
Sounds childish smh using the child as a toy rather than being an adult and keeping the situation blended for the comfort of the child… petty is what I say and yes u have the right to be mad or hurt
See the way my petty set up she would be finding a new babysitter on the days it didn’t involve my brother working. If your good enough do a those things then what the problem tell her to keep that same energy when she has no one to watch him while she works. I swear I can’t stand stupid females who use their children as pawns as if this is some game
I avoid dealing w her craziness have a party for him. Tell your brother to grow some and tell her stop w her bi polar crap. Go to court explain to the judge what she’s doing:angry:
I’d tell her to get fucked when she wants a babysitter again. I’d also throw him a separate party and not even tell her.
This child will grow up to hate his mother for with holding him from his Dad. She may not realize it now, but her mean and ugly hatefullness will come back to bite her in the ----- ! Boys need their Dads!
Have your own party for him and invite whoever you want
Just turn up she’s a selfish cow you have a right and so does your little nephew
Have your own party for him.
Just do your own parties and make up your own Christmas days etc. Does have to be on the exact date. Just a special day you can share with family. Sounds like this lady is very manipulative and your brother is better off without her.
Have your own party for him what’s the big deal do you really wanna party with a nut?
Shes an ignorant bitch have a party for him and make it something he wont stop talking about thatll get her ass lol and you’ll have fun with him at your party sounds like best plan!!
Have a party for him at your house.
Give him a party at your house. Doesn’t have to be anything big. A fun decorated cake, decorations and a gift.
I got some nieces from Cleveland and Detroit who are “GOONS” you need some werk put in? just askin for a friend
I would just throw a party for him while they are at work. you and him can make a cake and decorate. I think in the end you’re all adults and clearly there needs to be some new court orders in place if she wants to keep doing the dangled carrot crap
I’d still go. Bring him his gift and tell him how much you love him. Is she really going to cause a scene? She’ll look like the fool then.
Just have your own party. I’m more concerned with how she’s allowed to dictate his time when there’s a custody order.
For my step kids we do their own party we dont deal we awkwardness.
Just let it go. Do something special just the two of you while he is with you. It’s not worth the stress for you, your brother, and especially your nephew.
Be a good aunt and go kill the woman like normal ppl are doing these days… problem solved … your brother will get his kid… ect…
we always kept familys seperate once i split from my sons father, each family did their own birthday party, its reasonable for her to not want her exes family at her party, pick your battles wisely. Throw your own party for him where all your family is invited and have fun.
It sounds like she’s very unstable and unfortunately you have to tread lightly so she doesn’t take the child away again or block you from seeing him so I think the best bet here so that everyone can continue to see him it’s just have your own party not saying you can’t be mad but I just wouldn’t voice your opinion it could cause more waves and you want
Unfortunately as the party would be at her house, she does have a right to say who can and cannot be at this party. I’m not saying it’s right for her to do this because it isn’t but it’s still her house. If she were try to take the son away from the father again though, I would advise getting lawyer’s involved because unless a court order’s it, the father has every right to see his son.
What is wrong with people, your right if your good enough to take care of him you should be invited. I would say something like an adult and if the get pissed off to bad. It’s time people who have kids stop dumping their kids on every relative and friend they have if you can t care for them dont have them stop babysitting him until they have respect for you.
I’ve been thru some shit with my brother in law and his ex regarding the kids… Trust me when I say this… Stay out of it as much as you can cause you’re gonna wind up being the bad guy from both parties. It doesn’t matter how much you do for them… You’re not ever gonna do enough or even be thought of as doing anything. Throw him his own party on one of the days they’re using you and not being appreciative of your help. Sorry for being so negative but it’s facts that this is what’s gonna happen in the long run. We all know you’re doing the right thing . But they will never ever see it that way. Eventually he’ll start taking her side to keep the civility with her and to not lose his kids again… And you’ll be cast out.
Have him enjoy his birthday.They forget just know you would be.
Have your own surprise party at ur house and invite your own friends and family…
To those people saying go to the party anyway, absolutely not. Do not go and cause drama at a little kid’s birthday party if you wanna see the kid enjoy his birthday so badd have your own cake and your own Mini party for him I’m sure he won’t be upset that hes having more than one party and getting additional presents
Have your own party with him
Like many others have said &I agree,have a party for him at your house as well and let him know he is extra special to you and that no matter what the world does or does not do, -you will be by there for him .Because at the end of the day,he is who matters most- not any of the adults .Show this child a genuine drama free interest in him& let him see for himself whom is for him and who is not. Only say nice things or say nothing.Similar situations happened to me in my childhood and my family took the approach of not being messy and I was able to see who was there for me and who was there for show or to showout. Let her have the negativity.
Throw your own bday party for him
Be mad and then throw your own party
She is using him as a pawn. That’s so sad. Just let it go for the sake of the child.
You don’t go. Your brother needs to take her to court if his child is important to him.
Sounds like she uses him as a pawn, my family doesn’t get along with my grandsons mother’s family, we, do with his Mom so he gets 2 parties, one with us one with them if they want.to pay.for it
Let them pay for child care and I bet you are invited by week 2.
I wouldn’t start any drama over this issue. She may decide to keep him away again and you risk affecting your nephew negatively by ruining his birthday. You said you keep him quite a bit through the week so have him a second party/do something special for him to celebrate.
Yea fuck that! He needs to stand his ground with her and fight her.
Just have a party for your side of family.
He needs a custody agreement. Your family should have their own birthday-party.
Why is he giving her that much control. He needs to go to court and get his rights!
Have your own little party. If he has friends that he plays with while he is at your house, check to see if they invited them to the party. If not, have them come over to celebrate.
Is there a visitation order in place? If so, there should be no issues
Ask your brother if you can throw him a party at your house since you can’t go 
Help your brother pay for a lawyer and get a court order! The day he defies her, is the day he never sees his child again. Been dealing with my mans crazy baby momma drama for 4years! Get a court order! That’s the best way you could help them and your family have a place in that child’s life. Imagine how your brother feels being forced to obey in order to see his child. I doubt he wanted to ban you.
Just have yalls own birthday party for your side of the family
Throw him your own lil party
Tell them you’re not watching him anymore and let them see what $38 a day @ day care feels like. I’m sure you’ll be at his next bday party. Wouldn’t loose sleep over this if I were u
Why is there no court order? He needs to file for joint custody and visitation. That way she can’t keep the child away just because. Don’t make a big deal about the party, just do something special next time you have him.
Throw your own and make it 10 times better and tell her shes not allowed and to stick it in her craw and gyrate
Don’t hold any hard feelings towards it…
BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER AVAILABLE.
I would start with hey sorry I have a doctor’s appointment I can’t watch him the next time I would say oh I had something come up and make sure you always do it before they just show up at your house but be done watching him and like I said don’t even let them know that there is any hard feelings. just go show them that you can’t treat somebody like a doormat
Yes. You have a right to be mad. But I wouldn’t say anything. It sounds like his mom doesn’t care who she rips from the little boy. So keep the peace with her so you can be a stable and loving influence in his life. Have your own party with him. He will look back once he’s older and see that you went out of your way to make him feel loved when his mom went out of her way to be vindictive at his expense.
I would tell them to find a different sitter if it bothers you that they don’t want you at the party!
Be mad…don’t cause a scene for your nephew’s sake. I realize it sucks; but be the bigger person for him! Please! Speaking from experience.
Sounds like she is jst being petty an childish. Jst throw him ur own bday party!
Don’t be mad…just have your own party.
Did SHE say you couldn’t go? I would try to have an open mind and 1 to 1 conversation with each and make sure each felt heard - as much as we live our family - every story has two sides and there may be good reasons or crap reasons… being open to your sister in law is only fair … offer to both to hold a neutral party on neutral territory… unless there is domestic violence involved- both should be happy for that…
As far as babysitting - the kid comes first – it takes a village- be there for the child no matter who asks - you are better than the unknown
I would be upset too. But saying something will only make things harder. It won’t solve anything. Like everyone else has suggested. Celebrate with him at your house. He’ll love an extra celebration!
Have your own party.
I would say screw them don’t let it bother you
Either A. Just show up like the message was never relayed or B. Y’all throw your own party
Your brother needs to take her to court for joint custody or visitation. And as far as birthday party goes, your brother should just have his own party.
I would take the loss because you still get to see him 3 to 4 days out of the week. You guys should throw him a birthday party.
I get what your saying, however you offered your house so he could have his son at your house. I guess there should have been more of an agreement in place as to what was going to pan out when he was there. I wouldn’t get upset over his birthday party, would you really want to go and be surrounded by her family anyways. Just have your own party for him with your family.
You have every right to be upset. Honestly it sounds like your brother’s ex is a really piece of work… anyways I’d be so mad as well, but you need to think logically. If you truly care about the boy and want your brother to be able to see his son (especially since it must be at your house) I would just let it go. I would do a small celebration the next time you have the boy. Unfortunately it’s not just you in this situation and it sounds like the kiddo really does need you… also your brother needs to learn his parental rights and take her butt to court. It is just as much his son as it is hers!
I would have him a birthday party when I have him. I would press my bother to get a court order and opt for joint custody. I would be there for my nephew and if the sister in law has a problem with me then that’s on her. Prayers all works out.
Get your brother to go to court for set visitation so she cant deny him or she’ll be in contempt
I say your brother should have his own party for the kid. Maybe you can help. Don’t even let her know about it. Separate yourselves as much as possible from her. She sounds vindictive and controlling.
Have your own party for him. His birthday is for him. Be the bigger person and show the love. Don’t argue.
Plus tel them to get a new baby sitter,your not good enough to go to party, your little guy would wonder where you sre.You said you watched him so many days a week
Hey him a gift from you and have someone give it to him for you.
Mom sounds super petty
When you have the 3 or 4 days with him throw a party and invite your family over for it.
It sounds like you showing up to the party would be drama anyway. It seems as his mother likes it. She clearly loves control… Definitely carry on like it doesn’t bother you or you never realized you weren’t invited and have a special day for your nephew! Truthfully, the one on one and special things will mean so much to him vs. all of the “gifts” at a party that he has no idea where they came from! He’s lucky to have you! 
Throw your own party, Do your aunty thing and you do something special for him if it were me I would invite her too, just to be the bigger person everyone that loves him should be welcomed the day is about him
It’s her child and her party. Throw one for him yourself with your side of the family
Take the loss and throw him a birthday party for you guys. Don’t risk the chance of her being mean and not letting him come anymore. I know its sad
Throw him a party when he is at ur house and avoid the drama. That simple bc obviously she is wanting to start stuff with u and u need to b the better person and show her wrong. Don’t let it bother u and stay positive.
I would be upset, but you can always have him his own separate party when you have him one afternoon. Yea it sucks, but sometimes we have to just roll with what is best for the littles
Just go. They are using you to watch him… So yeah tell your brother on the way there you are coming.
Give him a party during the week to hell with her
I wouldn’t say anything only bc she sounds like she enjoys holding him over people’s heads and shit. I would be upset, but I would let it go. I’d throw him a seperate party. He will love it too. Its sad though bc its HIS birthday amd everyone who loves him should be welcome, but she is being petty bc she can. Your brother should take her to court for 50/50 and then she doesn’t have a choice and can’t hold him over his head at all.
Talk to the mom face to face. You may not know the real reason behind everything.
I would thrown my own little party for him
I would tell them to get another baby sitter.
My brother in law told me that when my niece was as baby. My mom was the babysitter. Now my sister and her husband are still together been married 45 years and he said I was crazy and didn’t want me around her. Girl I was fresh out the Marines in college I made sure I showed up everytime that baby was around who is going to tell me I wasn’t go to see her or go to a party. No no. Guess who resecured her when she ran away from home after 18. Had her own baby which turned out to be Autistic and then had a second child. Who has been with her and both her children for last 18 years. No you babysat for that child. You see the child every chance you give you pray for that child. You are going to be his saving grace. Keep your mouth closed loose your filters after 60 but for now keep your mouth closed.
Throw a party for him at yours but a bigger and better one she wants to play games you up the level she sounds so pretty but 2 can play that game
Oh my God no wonder Trump got elected these people are stupid why you bickering with somebody go to court get your parental right pay child support the people on this site are just dumber than dirt it’s Jerry Springer