I got married recently. I am not religious and was perfectly content with our relationship, but my (now husband) pushed for it because it was important to his parents. They are great people, but very religious and old fashioned. We comprised of having a non-traditional/non-religious wedding. NOW I am pregnant and due soon. After spending the day with his mother, my husband now insists we will have our baby baptized. I am strongly opposed to this and find it odd because he does not attend church and has never expressed any interest in having our child baptized before. Iâm sure this is all coming from his mother. I believe such religious commitments should be up to the individual, once they reach an age where they can make their own educated decisions. I disagree with religion being forced upon anyone, especially a baby or young child. It also seems wrong to make a promise to the church, as we will not be going to the church or following any other sacraments. I just wish my husband would think for himself, and not just what his mother wants. I feel very strongly about not having my child baptized, but I feel like Iâm outnumbered here.
Thatâs why your taught Donât be unequally yoked
Compromise.
My partner isnât religious nor am I however I was raised in the church and baptism is important to my family.
Weâve decided to have a naming ceremony instead of baptismâŚitâs still significant however it means that our child has the choice when older to decide whether they want to be baptised/christened
If your not religious then whatâs it going to hurt if you do get your baby baptized?
Baptism is harmless. Iâm atheist, raised catholic. As an adult your child will be able to make the decision for themselves, but honestly you need to pick your battles. Baptism wont hurt your kid and in the long run doesnt matter.
Getting your baby baptized doesnât hurt anyone
Nothing wrong with baptism, just allow the child to decide when he/she is old enough. I was baptized, but also dont practice. I dont go to church, I dont care for any stigmata. Itâs my choice. I hope you know you can be spiritual with being a church person.you dont have to believe in one thing. I am now atheist. But if my family or a friends family says a prayer for something, its their choice. It makes me uncomfortable, but its their choice as well. Just a thought.
Everyone should make that decision for themselves.
Thereâs no harm in making them happy. If it saves future arguments, then do it. Itâs not a future commitment to attend church.
I have a relationship with the Lord dear and itâs extremely important to dedicate the child.
Well he gave you the non religious wedding you can do this for him. Itâs not that serious.
Itâs not hurting you is it . 
Its your child. They have to consider your feelings. Id they dont, fuck their feelings
I was raised Anglican but am not religous. I do believe all little ones should be baptized so if anything happens to them they will be children of God and go to heaven. Just my opinion
Let the fight goâŚworse than can happen is your baby gets a little water on its headđ¤ˇ
Baptism will make your husband happy and will not prevent your child from making their own decisions at some point.
I agree with you. Religion, should be an individual choice.
Husband needs to stop. MIL, even more so.
itâs your baby. if you donât want them baptized, you donât have to let them be baptized. iâm raising my kids in a non-religious household and letting them decide what they believe when theyâre older. i know the struggle of being raised in a religion i didnât choose and i wonât put that on my kids. good for you momma
The child cannot make the decision now so the parents do. It seems that you have all the say here.He compromised on the wedding so why not do this.
Many people come with this wait until the child gets older.Well in most cases the decision is not made because the seed was never planted.
Clearly it seems there is more going on with you and his parents.Deal with it .Baptism will not hurt the child.
Iâm agnostic. I married (now divorced) a preacherâs son. We dedicated both of our kids in his fatherâs church. Neither of my children (17&13) have expressed any interest in religion. It was really just to appease his parents. Itâs an hour or two out of your day. You donât have to participate in the prayers. But just be there for your husband and his family.
iâm an atheist and both my children have been baptized. the way i saw it was if they wanted to believe in a religion of their choice, it may comfort them knowing i had their backs since they were babies⌠if they choose not to believe then no harm done. both my kids are now grown. one isnât sure what he believes in as of yet, and the other says heâs more spiritual then religious. Neither has been upset or questioned why they were baptized.
I would not allow it. In my opinion religion should not be forced upon a child. Period.
Iâm not very religious either, my parents are. We were raised catholic going to church, baptized, communion, confirmation, ccd classes and all. Now with my own kids I did all that for my parents and told my kids now that they are older they can choose to either continue that path or choose another or nothing at all, itâs up to them. My daughter, third year in college has decided to go to church, found a youth group that hangs out and she learns more about the religion. Itâs not going to hurt anyone in getting baptized. Trust me when I tell you just get it done and over with and your in laws will leave you alone about it.
Iâm not religious but I was baptized. It wonât hurt the child so why not?
It will make them feel better if ever something hurts your tiny.
Itâs important to have this conversation with your husband. Keep in mind however itâs not what you say but how you say it. Ask him why this is important to him before putting up your defense. Perhaps talking the matter out with him, you both can come to an agreement
I was baptized, I dont go to church. I dont make any decision based off of religious beliefs. In the end itâs not going to matter.
Baptism is a personal choice. Even Jesus, according to the Bible, made his own choice as an adult about being baptized. Maybe consider having the child âdedicatedâ instead. When the child is old enough to understand, he can make his own choiceâŚi and my siblings were dedicated as infants. Few have chosen to be baptized as adults
Maybe your husband is interested in attending church but knows you arent religious so he didnt push the issue until now. Baptisim isnt about a religious choice. And if your husband wants to stay involved in the church you should support him in what he wants thats part of the point of being married
May I ask why you feel so strongly against it
Mother is mother and she knows the best for her babies. Always going to be your son, but a marriage or any other relation with friends, family and other can change with time, anyway is only water in head and baby will not notice, is only a social movement.
So if you want be good with husband and his family without putting him between sowrd and wall, or want no sense arguing for long
Perhaps a âchristeningâ without any specific promises made. More of a blessing of the child so to speak.
Let them know youâre not wanting it⌠same with my side. Family in law is religious heavily, Iâm not so much but believe in Christ⌠my kids arenât baptized, my husbands and I both agree that whatever they believe in when theyâre older thatâs them⌠plus with your husband not going to church, yes or sounds like your mother in law⌠Iâd just tell them youâd rather wait if being honest⌠thankfully my family in law hasnât brought that up yet⌠hopefully your husband supports you in this.
I have a high belief and faith in God, not religion. We can agree to disagree. What I can say is when you bury your baby, youâll either despise God, or you pray! You want it all to be real. You want to have faith youll get to stand before him on Judgement day. I have questions I need answered. With that being said. NONE of my children were baptized. My daughter wasnât baptized and sheâs gone. She never did anything wrong to be baptized for. My dad swears he doesnât believe, but I have permission to have him baptized on his death bed. Anyway, a baby is innocent⌠What âSinsâ are you âwashing awayâ⌠It makes utterly no sense to me to Baptize a baby!
I have never been baptized. Im almost 40 years old. Never raised on religion. Found it strange my sister wanted to get baptized and baptize all her kids and do tha whole church thing. To me, it makes no sence. Nor does it make sence that all these non religious people still celebrate Christmas.
Youâve got to learn to pick your battles honey. Do you really want to go to war over something as simple as your baby being baptized/ christenedâŚ? itâs not hurting anything.
I agree. My son wasnât allowed to be prayed on nor touched in anyway until he made those decisions himself. At age 7, he decided to be Christian. When heâs decided, we will take him to get baptized. She should stand her ground as that babyâs mother to wait. God will keep that child alive long enough to make those decisions themselves.
Hey momma! Iâve been there and I know it can be tough. I was in the same boat and I say do it for these reasons: 1. There is literally no harm in getting it done at all physically, mentally, or emotionally so whatâs the point in having it cause the mental and emotional harm in your relationship. 2. Itâs not important to you because youâre not religious which is perfectly okay, but they are and it is an extremely important thing for some religious people. For some it means the difference between hell and heaven for the child if god forbid anything every happen. 3. It doesnt mean your child will be super religious or anything like that. My ex in-laws are super catholic and Iâm not and this was something I could compromise on because honestly it wonât harm your baby, the baby wonât remember it, it doesnât mean the baby will be forced to be religious for their entire life, and it appeases and eases the in laws. Basically no harm no foul.
You didnât actually compromise on anything by getting your way about the wedding. As a Christian it is very important to baptize the baby. Youâre not the only decision maker for this child. From a non-religious standpoint and just a human standpoint really, no one but you and your husband should be influencing what is going to happen to or with your child. It is a decision you two alone need to talk over and come to an agreement about. Sorry but they are not the parents. It wonât hurt baby and will likely save future arguments. However, it is seen as an agreement to God that from that point forward that child is to be brought up properly in the church so I very much applaud you for your thinking where that is concerned when youâre not even religious. I mean seriously, much respect to you. Itâs not something true believers take lightly. Talk with your husband and be open to his feeling. He should also be open to yours. Best of luck.
Itâs a simple solution. If youâre not religious then theyâre rituals are irrelevant to you. Who cares one way or another? People do things every that waste their time. Itâs how they choose to live. He wants to baptize. Why should you care? Let them
Dedicating a child and baptism are two different things. In most faiths people arenât baptized until they are consciously understanding of Christianity and are ready to become Christians. Babies arenât capable of doing that. This had nothing to do with your MIL, and your husband shouldnât allow her to influence him. This is solely a decision that the two of you should make.
Well being baptized can only help not hurt anything. Anyway God is not a religion and he is very very real⌠So since u donât believe one way or the other why not just go with it? Itâs not like u believe in God but your husband trying to make baby Muslim. And if u donât teach your baby about the God who made him and gave him to you in the first place you are the only one who will be the bad person in their life. No discussion
Just do it wonât make any difference and itâll keep the peace too.
Go with what you feel is right âŚyou donât need anyones permission or judgement. I notice the hypocrites on here want you to play tennis in your relationship. He sacrificed his wedding preferences now itâs your turn. Relationships are not a bargain basement. Work on what yous both value more in the relationship
Infant baptism is not mentioned in the Bible at all. When we accept Christ as our Saviour we get baptized in obedience and signifying the washing away of our sins.
I dont think you should do it! I think it wont harm anyone by doing it but I feel the same about it as you and I agree you shouldnât go ahead with this. You need to speak with your hubby. What I will say is you should of discussed these kind of things before getting married or having children.
If you do it and donât believe, it will insult everyone who does believe. It makes a mockery of the sacrament. Perhaps the in-laws can look at it that way.
Not being the fly in the ointment here, but the very reason why Iâd never marry ANY Man who canât make competent decisions for themselves or children without asking âmommyâ first. Screw that, youâll see this is just the beginningâŚ
Just give it to his family, itâs not going to hurt the child nor will it have any impact on the childs life unless there is follow-up participation. Give it to them, compromise on both parts will make your relationship stronger.
Seems like by keeping the child from being baptized is a way of forcing your non religious views. It will not hurt the child and will make the father and grandparents happy, so I do not understand why you would be opposed.
I think Iâm in the minority here. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Have a conversation with your husband. While this particular topic is a little touchy because itâs about religion, I think the bigger issue is you being forced to make decisions based on someone elseâs value system instead of your own. Too much compromise over the years and you will find youâre just constantly bending to someone elseâs wishes.
Baptism is a warm welcome to the Church and Heaven. It means what you put into it. If you donât invest in it, you donât invest in it. Frankly, I think it is a good way to illustrate you can be a team player to the family. If your child chooses to know more you will have a warm way to tell him he is welcomed into Christianity. If you donât teach your child about the options available to him with religion, how will he learn them? I think individuals need to learn there are a wide variety of ways to worship. It may give you a path to discover ways to worship and deepen your marriage. Options are a very good thing, in my opinion. May you find love and peace in making the right choice for your family.
its the childs decision
What does it hurt to just go through the motions. Baby will be able to get dressed up and have a picture moment. It may not mean anything to you, but it would mean the world to the grandparents, and make them happy.
Give in now and you will be handing the reigns over to them. If you feel strongly about it you need to put ur foot down. Itâs between you and ur husband and not an appeasement to ur in-laws. Your child ur decision. There needs to be boundaries. 
Do whatever you wanna do!
Actually some churches make you attend church you canât just baptize a child without belonging to a church in some cases. The baptizing of a child is a belief that a child is born of sin and you must baptize the child to purify their soul. I suggest you speak with your husband and mother-in-law and tell them what your beliefs are and see what kind of arrangement you can make together. I would talk to your husband first and ask him what he wants and why.
Iâm a Christian. The Bible, honestly, doesnât recognize a christening, or baptism, at birth. Baptism is an outward expression, of an inward conviction. Jesus was baptized, as an adult man, as a representation of the fact that, once saved, man should bury past digressions, and rise anew in Christ, and walk with God. While I did dedicate my children to Christ in a ceremony, that is more for the parents and family. Doing so, is making a promise to God, that you will do your best to raise your child according to His word. Now, while I recommend that, and would be happy to talk about it, I get your point. No, I donât think that you should go through with the ceremony, if itâs not what you believe. I do think that youâre very selfish to take that away from your husband, who is as much the childâs father, as you are its mother. Itâs not fair. Thereâs no reason that he canât participate, with his child, in whatever ceremony he likes. He can make that promise to God, without your permission or participation.
Isnât this something you talk about before marriage and kids?
Being that his family is âvery religiousâ these things should have been talked about way before you both decided to plant the seed and get married afterwardâŚ
My in laws had kept asking about it but we politely declined. After baptism it is expected that the children will go to church and do church activities. We arenât religious and didnât want to waste anyoneâs time. Just refuse. Hurting their feelings once is better then going through with it, because there will be even more expectations in the future with the church.
many couples i know and that includes had a civil wedding and i donât even go to church for personal reasons but for being a roman catholic it is my obligation that my child be baptize⌠and to me there is nothing wrong with it and still it will be both of your decision to be followed⌠God BlessâŚ
I think you should for him & his family. All they want is good things for the new babyđ after all these are the people who will be praying over your baby throughout its life. There is absolutely no harm in that. Thatâs a good thing even if you donât believe what harm can it do. Its out of love& nothing elseđ good luckđ
Iâm going to explain, why you MIL wants the baptism. Because it was âpreached at meâ when my daughter was born. Apparently, un-baptised babies are going to Hell and not Heaven. If they die before theyâre old enough for confirmation.
I didnât. I truly believe in free choice. But your MIL will not let this go, Iâd bet money that I donât have. Good luck.
Iâm not a fan of infant baptism, but it wonât harm your child to make his/her grandparents happy. Theyâre only here for a while.
if your husband is right and it is necessary not baptizing can cause serious problems. if you are right and it is not necessary, going along with it causes NO harm. Refusing can also seriously damage your relationship with not only your husband but his entire family.
Well he gets half the choice I guess since heâs the dad. Yaâll will have to work it out. Think of it as practice in making a marriage work. How you both act with this will say a lot about how things are going to go for the whole marriage if no one changes, grows, compromises, or sets the union as priority.
He is the babyâs father he has the right to want stuff for the baby too. he compromised on your wedding just compromise on this is just a baptism it doesnât mean that your child has to be raised in the faith.
Did yâall not discuss how you were going to raise your kids at all? Being non religious married to a religious person, youâd think that would be a pretty big topic.
To keep the peace, go with itâŚ
The child can change religion if she/he wants later, heck half of my family changed religion as adults it happens very often.
I was baptised & also did all my first holy communion, etc. I also went to Catholic schools throughout primary. I am an adult now & a non-practising Catholic. I donât think it makes a difference. Also if you & your husband are wanting to send your child/ren to private schools, most of them are Catholic & wonât accept children not baptised. Just food for thought.
Baptise and have lord bless your child. Love and protection for your child. Isnât that what all parents would like for their child?
If you are going by the bible you have to be willing and able to accept god as your lord and savior, a child cannot do thatâŚ
Meet in the middle ⌠instead of a baptism which is the catholic way how about a dedication which is a nondenominational way �
I had a very similar issue. For my husband I baptized our 3 sons. He is catholic and I am not. If he wanted them to learn his religion it was on him to teach them. My boys are adults now, able to make their own choice. It hasnât harmed them in any way and it stopped any disagreements that may have put a wedge in the family. Compromise is a part of marriage. Good luck
I was baptized Catholic as a baby. Did I ever go to mass? Nope. Did I have a Catholic wedding? Nope. Does it have any effect on what I believe or how I act as adult? Nope. Didnât hurt me whatsoever. My dadâs family was Catholic, my mom compromised with my dad and had me baptized in the religion that his family believes in. Religion was not forced down my throat as a child and even if it was, Iâm a fully functioning adult that is capable of making my own decisions regardless of what decisions were made for me as a baby. I say just do it, itâs not going to harm the baby in any way.
Very simple ten minutes n worth knowing in your heart a good decision ;â) both kids I had done n their babies they had done 
What marriage vows did you take/make to each other âŚjust curious? If you donât want your child to be baptised/christenedâŚyou could have a naming ceremony?
I agree with you. I personally donât believe in baptism until the person is of age & âsavedâ. & to stand there & promise to do something you have no intention of doing is morally wrong. You donât make promises you canât keep. You donât âgo thru the motionsâ for religionsâ sake. Religion is such a hot topic. Everyone has their own beliefs. But if you give into this just to appease her, it could be a slippery slope of the beginning of many things you do that you donât believe in just to appease her.
If he wants it done and you dont think it is necessary and it causes no harm them just do it. Canât hurt. This is something that should have been spoken about before marriage.
Religion should be something your child chooses. Sure baptize him now, so atleast she/he would have some sort of a starting point. But keep your kidâs option on faith open. Expose him/her to other beliefs, too and donât lock him/her to the one he/she was baptized in. So that when time comes he/she could decide on his/her own he/she could choose the one closest to his/her faith or choose none at all. Atleast give him/her that option.
I mean you are the parents. Why should it matter what other people say? Itâs not their life but your childâs. If anything, your child should have that chance to decide even if at a later time. He/She already didnât have a choice when you brought him to be born, the least you can do is let him/her choose for everything else in their lives⌠or at least be given an option to do so.
Baptize the Baby, if it doesnât matter to you then whatâs the big deal? It Matters to Him!
I come from a very religious family. I have auntâs who are nuns and cousins who are priests. I was baptised and went through all the religious ceremonies afterwards such as confirmation ECT⌠however I am now an adult and do not attend church. My bf comes from a very religious family as well and he has grown up and does not attend his fellowship either. We are two different religions. We are expecting and have decided that regardless what any family says our son will not be baptised amd will be free to choose on his own⌠just as I had chosen for my first born. For those saying do it to make the grand parents happy⌠itâs not about the grandparents nor is it the grandparents choice to pressure it. If they canât love and accept the child which is their grandchild regardless of that they frankly I wouldnât want them to be my childâs grandparent. My in-laws know their place.
I canât believe all these ppl saying thereâs no harm in it. The Bible clearly states it is wrong to engage in religious ceremonies/acts that you donât believe in them. It clearly states it is wrong to âgo thru the motionsâ.
I am a Christian, a believer, not religious. I dont believe Baptism saves a child from anything. The way I was raised, we dedicated our babies to be raised in faithâŚour faith but they make that decision for themselves when they are old enough and then get saved and baptized. I know this is not the way in Catholicism⌠I wish there was an easy answer for you⌠but the only answer should come from between you and your husband. No one else.
I was baptized and all my kids are baptized Iâm not really a church goer never was a church goer my kids went to public schools.
Its not really a big deal. He is 50 % the father. He should have a say in what he wants to do as a father.
When you baptise a baby you promise to bring up your child according to yhe tennants of that particular faith, with the congregation and their imaginary friend as witnesses. And since you do not believe it stands to reseason that you are not going to follow the required brainwashing protocals of that particular faith. So why lie.
You BOTH got married.( I think you was correct with the I am nOt religious)The child is BOTH of yours, not just your selfish ass. You said me ,I so dang much it is sickening. You are BOTH pregnant again. Clearly he is religious. Suck it up
Outnumbered? A husband and a wife⌠am i missing something here??? Sounds like an even match to me. Cut the cord already. Its your marriage and your child. The mom can sit her ass down and go commit herself to her own marriage. 
sorry, nope not sorry! 
Iâd just do it. Itâs not a big deal. My sister is not the most religious person and my mom has her do all the things. My mom said you can choose what you want to do when youâre an adult.
U didnt marry her. She needs to but out
Donât the child will be christened at some point. Well some churches christen alone while
others baptize and christen babies but baptism is only done if requested.But there is nothing wrong with the baby being baptized. It is not done in a pool and it good that your husbandâs family are religious they can make the arrangements for you
and the child can go church school there when he is older. This baptism not going to affect his future Christian decision. Thank God for his father and his family
I am catholic. So Iâm partial lol. But honestly. Your child will.not even remember it, and doesnt hurt them at all. I dont see why make it a huge deal if your not of any religion and his family is. In catholic traditions baptisms are normally after birth first year anyways.
And to the ones commenting on the grandma needs to butt out, well I guess your not a grandma yet. We do matter if not for her your kid wouldnt be here or your husband. Have some respect.
Ok you can dedicate the child BUT the child needs to be old enough to make itâs own decision to get BAPTISED.babtism is NOT some one elseâs can make. It is a PERSONAL thing
Just do it-itâs not harming the child-n prevents tension in the marriage-when the child grows up n makes own decisions it can choose to do wat it pleases
Iâm assuming youâre relating baptized with catholic ?
if he is pushing us because is important for him too.
Tough call, iâm religious and me and my parents would push for baptism no matter, but in my case i am open to everyone from the beginning about my religion n that i want to keep the catholic tradition with my children
. Even if i donât marry a catholic, i feel my kids will be better being presented to God at a young age.
He is not doing it to make u upset, but because he is traditional and itâs in his belief âŚ