I need advice, recently found out I was pregnant and I’m not with the father, I don’t want to be with him and he keeps texting me basically saying he wants to work our family out and I keep trying to p politely tell him I’m not interested in that, when I don’t answer his texts or calls he goes on texting apps and texts me crazy stuff from different numbers and so I got mad because I was trying to spend time with my son and my phone kept going off. So I told him he had too much time on his hands to be doing that and to not talk to me and he could take me to court for visitation. In return he said that he would take me to court to take the child away because I basically didn’t want to be with him saying me talking to him about the baby means I was leading him on.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am pregnant and do not want to be with the childs father
Block his number if he keeps doing it from different numbers call the police
He can’t take the baby from you unless you’re proven an unfit mother… so don’t worry about that. Just block him/ignore him.
Change your number. He cant take the child unless you are unfit. He can kick rocks.
Restraining order for the harassment if need be
File a police complaint so he understands you are serious about him not contacting you!
If the harassment continues change your phone number, also don’t allow him in the hospital when is time to give birth, he sounds crazy.
Block him and document everything for court
Document the harassment and get a restraining order if needed. Change your number.
Change your number
Get a restraining order
Can’t blame him. 
. How do ppl have sex with guys theN want no future with. This is just MY OPINION
document. go to court and get visitation set up. then be done with it.
Get a restraining order he is harassing you now as for the child the second it’s born go to DHR get a DNA and get child support established when the child is born and if he does not Sign the birth certificate you don’t have to let him see that child just take it to court and let it go through that way
You need to grow TF up. Children deserve both parents. If you didn’t want to get pregnant, you don’t want to be a parent, so hand the child over to him. The child will probably have a much better life with a parent who actually wants it. A child is not your personal private possession that you can dictate who can and cannot be with that child, especially when it’s the other parent.
Don’t want to be with or around him … don’t be involved in ways to be making baby with him… How many others are there you don’t want to be with. So how do you know who’s baby it is… 
Even if you were “leading him on” that doesn’t give him rights to you. Your allowed to change your mind, for any reason at any time. Wtf is with these men thinking because they’re interested that’s how it’s going to be. Fuck off guy.
So many women on here advocating for parental alienation… you do realize that’s child abuse? You’re on here telling another woman to abuse her child. I hope that makes you feel warm and fuzzy at night.
Change your number get the court involved. It’s all or nothing. You can start all of this then change your mind .
Tell him you went to the doctor and after getting the date you conceived he’s not even the father
First of all if you didn’t want kids with him should have found ways to prevent pregnancy however things do happen unexpectedly. Second get your number changed so he gets the hint to leave you alone
Change your number, block him. He does have visiting rights, so you will have to work that out. Get a lawyer.
OK you haven’t said how long if you have ever been with him but if it was a casual thing he was good enough for you to sleep with in the first place. Don’t get me wrong I don’t have any bad feelings towards the casual relationship at all but I think your being quite mean. He wants be part of his babies life and he may not of known you would never want to be with him apart from sex. I think you need to actual speak to him properly and give him a chance to explain his side. All you lot saying block his number etc are totally wrong. The guy is as much entitled to be a dad as she is a mum and it don’t sound like he has been a horrible person. You need to grow up and be amicable in this you can’t get pregnant and then push the other parent away.
Keep all of those messages and use them as evidence at court if needed to show how both parties acted before hand. And like the other women suggested get a restraining order if he gets out of hand and take him to court. But once he calms down, shows you he’s changed and can co-parent with you without any issues then, and only then, with your okay, allow him to be in his child’s life.
If you don’t need anything from him, then don’t let him sign the BC. In a lot of states paternal rights have to be established either through a DNA test or marriage. I am in TN. Children born to unwed mothers, the mother is the sole parent until a fathers rights are established. Simply signing the BC does not give them parental rights. He sounds crazy and possibly a danger to you and your children. If he wants to be there for his child then he can do the work and pay the money to get those rights. Don’t make anything easy for him. Document everything.
I can’t believe all of y’all telling her to lie about who the father is or alienate this baby’s other parent. Disgusting!! You don’t have to be with him but if that’s his baby he deserves the same rights
Most people don’t want to hear truths, but you chose to be in a situation to get pregnant by this man. Maybe the time to choose the fathers of our children is BEFORE having sex with them.
He can’t take your baby just because you don’t wonna be with him. Document every text, email and call
Sounds like you are irresponsible when it comes to safe sex with people you don’t want to be with !
Do not allow him to take that child anywhere make him meet you our I public or with family at home. Possession is nine tenths of the law meaning you will not get that baby back without an expensive fight
He has a right also.
I would ask him to wait until the baby is actually born before any plans are made for visitation and such. So many things can happen between now and then.
You should let him be a father to the child even if you font want to be with him, tell him you dont want to be with him but you can be friends
He cares about HIS child. Grow up. Already sounding like a bitter baby mama, you’re just causing your own stress. Switch rolls, wouldn’t you blow up the person having your baby as well?!
It’s his child as well, if you can’t come to terms with that… I don’t even know what to say. Take you to court, seems a bit harsh when he has every right to be part of his child’s life. Seems like you need to sit down a prioritize Your child. Come to terms that you both made it!
He can’t just take your kid if you’re a good mom and can prove it. It is his kid too so you don’t have a right to try to keep him away, if that’s the goal. You don’t have to like him or tolerate him, that’s what the court system is for. However, to alienate him from his kid unless he’s mentally ill, is not okay. You sound young.
File for child support right away if u want but at least file for custody. He can get visition however he can’t take the child from you unless he proves your unfit. Most courts are pro mother.
So this is going to sound harsh but YOU choose to sleep with him, unprotected, and risk pregnancy, already knowing you wanted nothing to do with this guy…So now that you’re pregnant with his child, even if you don’t want a relationship with him (which is totally fine BTW) you’re going to have to face reality that you WILL have to coparent with this man.
I see so many women who don’t like a guy or don’t want to be with a guy but will sleep with them and when they fall pregnant they’re like oh crap. the answer is simple, if you don’t like/are interested in a person don’t risk chaining yourself to them for the rest of your life with a baby!
His behavior is not acceptable, but either is yours, really. You basically told him he could take you to court and get visitation. What if someone told you that you can only get your child for visitation? It’s a child we are talking about. Not a stuffed animal. I understand the text messages are annoying and unnecessary, but there are some dad’s out there who don’t care at all for their child. Maybe give him updates on how baby is doing. It’s so easy to ignore someone or simply block them for a little bit. Now, if he’s crazy threatening you, then you call the cops. They won’t do anything about text messages, though.
He should not be using fake numbers to keep blowing you up and threatening to take away your child just because you don’t want to be together. That I can agree with. HOWEVER, you decided to open your legs for someone you don’t want a future with and now you have that baby to think about. It doesn’t matter how you feel about him. He is that baby’s father and the two of you need to talk like civilized adults to work out an agreement for shared custody. You’re about to ruin that baby’s life if you both can’t be adults and come together for the sake of your child.
Get a restraining order
He has rights…there is such a thing as birth control…use it if you don’t want a baby with somebody
She can have sex with him but she wants nothing to do with him? That doesn’t make any sense
Sounds like a narcissist. Start documenting now
Make sure u keep everything he’s sending u (for proof of harassment) don’t deny him to c child (unless u think he will hurt child) keep record of everything. N he just can’t get custody of the child… they have to find that u aren’t able to care for kids meaning drug addiction abusive things of that nature. Don’t stoop to his level do what u do an keep on keeping on.
So you don’t want anything with him he wants to try but the only thing that you want from him is his money when you blow that baby out…
Y’all are wild, her post doesn’t even say she doesn’t want him in the kids life…it clearly says due to harassment take me to court……what are y’all reading ? She doesn’t want to be with him and he’s not getting it, what should she do is the question……for all confused and only worried about details she didn’t include.
You might as well accept that he is the father and he has rights. You don’t have to be with him. But he has rights to his child. You will deal with this till the child is 18. So find a way to make it work for the sake of the child. If you end up in court he will be granted his rights.
You don’t need to be with the father. But if he wants to be involved, and is no harm to you or baby he has every right to and you can not shut him out.
Unfortunately this is the bed you made with this person and you now have to learn how to coparent.
If you can, don’t put his name on the bc and give the baby YOUR last name. He will have to take you to court on his own dime unless you file for childsupport.
This is really weird reactions from women tbh.
People have sex for pleasure all the time in the world.
Babies are a risk yes. But shes keeping the baby. And just doesn’t want to be romantically involved with the father.
And didn’t want to conversate with him while spending time with her other child and he escalated so she told him handle it legally since conversations seem to go no where.
There’s a lot of 'dont open your legs, shouldn’t have had sex with him then 'comments here that are just weird, especially from females. It’s a shame really …
Keep all text documentation. Screenshot every single thing! Print them put and keep a file going start it now. Anything and everything. You want to document it if he repeatedly calls and harasses you document it! Have it ready for a lawyer and start putting money aside for court and lawyer costs just in case.
When baby is born don’t put him on the birth certificate, file for custody through the courts, also document all his harassment and file a personal protection order so he cannot talk to you nor come around since he wants to harass you. He will then have to go through courts to establish rights and visitation. Document EVERYTHING
All you mothers out there…… if a man wants to be in his child’s life and he’s a good man, what is important is the child, not you ! Some women are terrible .
Call his bluff, he wont get it until he finds out bow expensive it is to raise a child until 18
A lot of you are severely lacking in reading comprehension. She’s asking for advice about HARASSMENT and the baby hasn’t even been born yet. Some of you just come on here to act all sanctimonious like responding to a narrative she didn’t even write!
He’s trying to use the baby to control you. Don’t give in. Change your number. Move before baby is born if it’s possible. Don’t tell him where you live. It’s only going to get worse if you let it. You can keep him from calling you, contacting you on social media but if you give him your address he’ll be at your house in your face all the time.
Do not let him see baby unless obtains a court order. It’s not hard even without your address. He can file. Despite what people will tell you not letting him see your baby will not look bad against you in court. Him not applying for legal rights will. A judge or lawyer will tell you you are not obligated to allow him into your home, to see your child without court protection.
What does he mean by talking about the baby? Did yall talk about having a baby beforehand?
He won’t get dim custody if you’re a fit parent, but most likely judge will grant 50/50 if dad is also a fit parent.
As far as relationship goes you absolutely do not have to be with him just because you are having his baby.
Another thing, give baby your last name on birth certificate. If he proves to be a good father it can be changed later on.
Do not delete anything said between you two, print everything off for court.
DO NOT SAY YOU’RE GOING TO HOLD THE CHILD FROM HIM. Let him know you would prefer to have court ordered plan first. If you allow him to see baby before then be sure to have someone there as a witness. Either in your home or public place NOT HIS HOUSE.
Be sure to let him know you only want to have contact regarding the baby and will update him after appointments.
Dont let him take the child to his house or just out and about he can keep the child until you take him to court it happen to me. Go through the court system. Do not let him walk off with the child.
His rights don’t start until you’ve given birth. Until then he should leave you alone
- He has no rights until paternity is established.
- He cant take the kid away because you don’t wanna be in a relationship with him. If you were an unfit mother the court would do it but sole custody usually goes to mom especially if unwed because a baby needs mom and mostly mom for first years of life… not saying dads arent important but they cant breast feed and biologically babies rely on mom for regulation of heart beat and such until like age 1.
- Document everything he sounds crazy.
- Give baby your last name- as a single mom best thing i did- now my husband adopted her so we changed it.
- If you dont put him on bc it can be court ordered after dna test and such to have it amended( corrected).
- If he’s bothering you or threatening you you can block him and keep everything to show the court why you blocked him.
- If he starts showing up in person call the cops. Make sure you send him a text saying i am not interested in being in a relationship with you. Please stop contacting me i will notify you when the baby is born. Etc…
Warn him that you will go to the police because he is harrassing you. You don’t have to be with him if you don’t want to
Be an adult sit down and communicate with the guy face to face not through text sounds like yall got a whole lot of growing up to do
Both of you need to grow up. 
He’s harassing the poor woman and going so far as to text her from fake apps to convince her to be with him 
the amount of women here telling her to just “send him updates” are why he continues to do this!!! That baby being biologically his has nothing to do with HARASSMENT! He’s going to get himself a nice little protective order against him if he doesn’t stop.
What were your intentions before you decided to get pregnant?
How sad— you got pregnant and now want nothing to do with him? If no feellings for him , why did this happen? Just my opinion but maybe chose partners you want to be with next time. That baby deserves his Dad in his life. 
you have no worries about that
Keep everything documented. He has no chance getting your baby if your a good Mom. Stay strong Momma, just shows you are doing the right thing
Why don’t you lady’s think about this stuff before you jump into bed with any man and get pregnant, now another child will grow up with out his real father
Weather togeather or not he still has rights to see his child and would be nice for you to update him on the scans ect coz wen ur kid comes along u need to get along
This man already acting crazy and y’all say let him see the child, y’all ain’t see in the news where I guy killed his own children,they lady that was there supervising the visit and himself just to hurt the mother, girl make police reports and stay away from him protect you and your children at all cost
Wow…dude WANTS to be a Dad and yall are bashing him? If he didnt want anything to do with the baby yall would trash him too. Now its harassment? Some guys wait their whole lives to be a Dad. Some guys really dream of having a legacy. I think its sad youre not utilizing all the help he could provide and all the joy of pregnancy hes missing out on. Youre robbing him of the birth and bonding. Youre robbing the child of any chance at a normal life. You laid down with that man and he was good enough, now hes not? Girl put your big girl panties on and communicate with him like an adult. You wouldnt have that baby in your womb if it wasnt for him talkin bout “if you want to see the baby you can go to court for visitation” that is BULLSP1TTT he has half the rights to that child just like you do. Better to abort if thats how you feel Bout bio dad.
Why do women have babies with people they do not want to be with and then tell the father to go to court for visitation?
Why can’t you just give him visitation. OK so you don’t want to be with him but that child will want to know their father.
To be fair this is also your fault for not protecting yourself if you knew before you had sex that you didn’t want to be with him.
If he demonstrates good father qualities when baby comes keep it out of the courts. If he displays this kind of behaviour after baby comes definitely go thru the courts.
Save the crazy texts for court
Save those texts for documentation. Block him. You don’t have to have him on your babies birth certificate.
That man has every right to see his child as you do. Threatening court can get ugly why don’t you try go parenting? I mean he could be a great dad.
Go to the police and file harassment charges .
Be firm, you can not be polite with people like him, if you have to change your number. Go to the police and get a protection order and charge him with harassment if need be. Good luck
Oh boy! I’ve been through that! Take him to court and get it taken care of asap! They won’t take the baby from you. Whatever you do do not get back in the relationship!!!
I went through something similar but not. I wasn’t with my daughters dad at any point. He was be best friends. Well he ended up moving in with me, things happened. And after a bit he was straight lazy and didn’t help clean up or help put food or necessities in the house all while his kids stayed there as well. He was to only pay $212 a month and always payed 2-3 weeks late. So I said hey no hard feeling but something has to give you can start helping and pay your rent on time or find somewhere else to live. He went to the house after work picked his kids up and drove 2 hours to his grandmas. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until almost 4 weeks later. And now he don’t talk to me at all. And even says our daughter isn’t his. 
Now I hate to give advice that could keep a loving father away from his child. But if you are truly concerned, do not put him on the birth certificate. Doing so gives him joint custody and equal rights, at least in my state. That means you will not be able to request child support from him either. He can still take you to court, but they would have to establish paternity and stuff first, and that’s if he actually sticks it out and goes to all the court dates. Document everything, save every text, voicemail, etc. If you are concerned for yours and your child’s safety, file an EPO or harassment order. It will at least help to have that documented in the system. But if you think that he will be a good, loving, present father; do NOT deprive your child of that just because you don’t want to deal with this man.
I hope he does take you to court for partial custody, dads are just as important. If you don’t wanna be with him, fine. But he has a right to know how his baby is doing during the pregnancy. Inform him you will only talk to him about the baby. And ignore everything else. If he considers that “leading on” that’s a him problem.
He sounds kind of obsessed and immature. Tell him you appreciate the thought but the only thing you want from him is for him to be there for his child. If he reacts badly and doesn’t respect you then I would give the baby your last name when he/she is born and immediately file for custody and child support when baby is born. He can’t act how ever he wants because he is not getting what he wants. He sounds like he needs some growing up to do.
The woman on here saying its his kid he has rights. Both of you grow up. Clearly you arent reading the post very well. Yes its his kid too but he doesn’t have rights to harass her an make fake accounts and threaten to take the kid away because she doesn’t want to be with him. Also we dont know why or what it was like before they split up. Usually a person does not just wake up one day and start harassing you. Usually their are behaviors and flags before hand.
Some of y’all sound like bitter ass baby mamas. It’s not a good look.
I read a story not to long ago. That a woman was a side chick, didn’t know it. She told her boyfriend of a few months she was pregnant. He left her and went back to his wife. The wife started acting like the baby was hers, baby showers, gender reveal parties, wanting to name the baby… acting like this woman is Sergeant. Showing up for doctors appts. She got a restraining order and moved out of state before the baby was born I think advised by a lawyer. She moved to a mother friendly state so she can have soul custody with visitation.
He cares about his kid. He might have had it instilled as a kid that a man does whatever to make the home work and family work, even in situations as such. My male best friend was raised this way and is unlearning the toxicity now as he coparents.
Just tell him it isn’t happening and if he don’t quit you will be blocking him. He can be in his kids life and y’all can coparent but that’s all that would be.
Be firm. Don’t be sweet and polite and don’t ignore him and alienate him from the kid. be firm about it.
He deserves to be able to see the child starting at drs appointments. Y’all both made the Child and he has rights too. But that doesn’t mean you have to be with him.
So tell him he can either accept y’all will coparent or you will block him and then he can take you to court. And if he continues to harass you about a relationship with these accounts, you will be contacting the police to file a report on harassment.
It sounds like he’s going crazy because you’re being passive and keeping the child away starting st the pregnancy. No ultrasounds or chance to hear/see the heartbeat. And that would make any parent go crazy. But if not the case, then definitely be firm and file a report.
I wish you luck.
He could get 50/50 custody… he would have to prove you unfit to get 100%.
Stay away from this idiot…don’t talk no more to this stranger danger.
Dont let him around until the judge gives him visits. He can act like a grown up. If he can be grown up the judge will set visitation for him. Journal/date contact with him that scares you. The safety of your child/you is most important thing. Dealing with toxic/inconsistant parent can cause major dep in you/your child. Also your path to motherhood is very precious, you will remember it forever. You deserve peace with your child
Well he can’t just take your child away. That’s an empty threat. The sad part is more than likely he will be granted some sort of visitation eventually for the child once paternityis established but you can make that as difficultas possible since you can claim you feared for your life. But definitely keep records of his craziness. And think about a restraining order. It may not help completely and he may still text from other numbers and hard to prove its him. But you will at least have something. I have a permanent restraining order against my ex. In the beginning I used to contact his mother to set things up with his kids. Lucky for me when the divorce finalized he didn’t show up so I got full/sole custody and visitation was to my discretion. He was also supposed to take a child in the middle class that took him almost 3 years after the divorce for him to do. So there was no contact with even his mother that 3 years. Then out of the blue she texted me saying he took the class. I asked his kids if they wanted to see him and they said no. They were all over 10 yrs old at that point and hadn’t seen them for 3 yrs so I ignored the text. Recently I went to court for some juvenile stuff so he had to be notified and he came and tried to tell the court lies. It didn’t work.
Devil’s advocate here. Is it ok for anyone to harass you? Absolutely not. But Father’s have just as many rights as Mother’s. Many children don’t get the luxury of both parents and it appears he wants to be in this child’s life and has every right to. Sounds like he’s making desperate attempts by saying things hurtful, scary or negative. How about saying, “I am sorry, I just wanted a 1 night stand or to briefly fool around, or have a baby without a man.” (Or whatever the actual case may be) But you could also say I do not want to be with you. There is no “US.” However you could make it easier and help him to understand by letting him know you can co-parent provided as long as he remains safe and responsible. Otherwise yes the court will make decision for you. Even if you get a stay away order he still has parental rights.
abort then, if its not too late
why keep the child?
your body, your choice
It sounds like you both have a lot of growing up to do. If you’re saying that’s his kid he has rights to see it, whether it’s supervised or not. Yikes on both parts
Do 50/50 custody. Ignore him trying to be with you and only talk to him about his child. Then do 50/50. You’re not anymore important to the baby than the father, the baby needs both of you. You both need to be mature, you have a baby coming. Coparent respectfully and responsibility. Tell him one time you don’t wish to purse anything with him but you do want a respectful and responsible co parenting situation then let it go.
If you didn’t want to be with him , why did you make a baby ??
This type of behavior only escalates. And threatening to take a woman’s baby is abusive behavior. Protect yourself, your son and your baby. Get a lawyer and think logically not emotionally. It’s the only way in this type of situation.
Ignore him. Unless it has to do with the baby you are not obligated to talk to him. Keep all of his texts and voicemails. This IS without a doubt harassment and stalking. If he continues takes him to court for a restraining order and not to scare you make sure you have a way of defending yourself. It is his way of getting his way and controlling you and when it doesn’t work he will resort to threats of killing himself or you. Do NOT engage in any way. Continue to ignore. I’ve been there and trust me answering in any way even to tell him to f off will make him think he is going to get his way
You can’t keep him from his child , I hope he brings you to court !!! He has just as much right as you do !!