So I’ve been in a relationship for three years, and I hadn’t had my own house, etc. before we got together I’m only 21 but my SO I feel like always thinks that I could never do “life” on my own with a baby. And I feel like I want to move out and get my own place just to prove a point. On top of his friend and cousins living with us, I’m tired of cleaning and cooking for everyone. I don’t mind cooking and cleaning for just him. But I feel so used and ran over by him his cousin his friend, the mother of his first child I watch her for free because I love her and I love spending time with her. But her mother ONLY sees me as a free babysitter doesn’t let me know her work schedule doesn’t respect when I have a thing to do and can’t watch her, which when I tell her that she just drops her off anyways. I have said something to her about it, and my boyfriend and no one still seem to care. I’ve said something to my boyfriend, his friend and cousin about keeping it clean. They just agree and say yeah, but no one actually changes. That’s my point really is I express my issues. Everyone hears me acknowledges me but does nothing to change. Any advice should I just move out and prove to all of that I can financially manage a household alone and prove how serious I am about everyone not really respects my issues. I don’t want to break up with him or anything I love him. And I don’t want him to get the impression I want to leave the relationship. So any suggestions less evasive?
Stop doing for them. Tell her you are not a babysitter and you won’t be used anymore. Let them get pissed off, but you need to put your foot down.
Stop cooking,
Cleaning and babysitting. When shits dirty and there’s no food maybe theyll then pay attention 
Tell him y’all need your own place
Stop cleaning up after them for one and you’re with the child’s father so stop thinking as it’s babysitting.
Pack your shit and move out. They obviously dont respect you.
Move out he has 2 options move with you or move on
Get job or another job to keep busy so you have no time to do all the extras then put money aside for YOU. So you are prepared for future if things change
Don’t walk…Run! You can totally do this on your own 
Girl…you gotta stop this. You’re the only one with the power to do so…so do it. Get out of there.
Stop doing shit for people.
Somebody that loves you would require others to respect any boundaries you feel necessary - dump him and move out!!!
Stop doing for them. Including your SO. and no more free babysitting
Leave… they are using you
Time to dip out and let them figure out stuff on their own and quit being the carpet that they walk all over
Do you pay part of the rent and bills? And work? If you do I would just stop picking up after everyone and stop cooking for them and stop baby sitting the baby. If you are already pulling your weight and contributing they can’t say shit if you stop doing stuff for them. Sounds like they are taking advantage and don’t appreciate you and of they won’t listen when you tell them how you feel, maybe they will of you show them but stopping it. If you are the one cleaning and cooking and stuff YOU are the one managing the household already and they are the ones who are not. Living on your own is about more than just money, they should all be able to pick up after themselves and feed themselves and your bf needs to take care of his own child or provide childcare that isn’t freeloading of your kindness.
He’s using you. People only treat you the way you allow them to. I know it seems harsh, but it’s the truth. Im a people pleaser also and it’s in my nature to do so. But once I heard the words I just gave you, I changed the way I help people. I make sure to not get taken advantage of.
You’re being used and not treated right. Leave, you deserve better. One day you’ll look back and realize what you’re living with right now is a complete joke
I would say no i am not watching the kid unless you gonna pay me i would up and leave basically there using you
Leave girl. Show em all.
You should move out for your own sanity.
Stop doing everything and being there… you can’t clean, cook or babysit if you are not around… do you have a friend you can stay with for a few days? I’d start there make it a mini vacation see how that works out
My husband wouldn’t allow that. Id move out…he can come or stay
Move out on your own. You are being used
He’s literally using you, they all are. You don’t have to break up completely but take a break and take time to find yourself and have you time. You’re so young, there’s no reason to put up with all of that at all.
If you don’t leave or make a change they’ll keep on using you… Sometimes is ok to say no
I literally just went through this myself… leave! I understand you don’t want to end your relationship but your just being used. I Didn’t want my relationship to end either but I am so much better off. And you will feel so much better about yourself too and realize that you was being used and not appreciated for the little things. You have to do what’s right for you!
I’d move out. Either he’ll see his errors or he won’t but I’d feel like I’m being used too.
Kick everyone out but him .
Well she is dropping the baby off to the father . Doesn’t mean you are obligated to babysit.
You live in a frat house and you are being used as a babysitter. Get your own place and finally breath a little.
It is 100% natural to live alone after a certain time. You sound young and this is the next step in self-discovery.
LEAVE his is NOT husband material or he would respect you and there is 0 of that going on here. Leave move out and do YOU move on and get better
Take a vacation for like a week. No baby sitting, no cooking, no cleaning for anyone else. See how they react. If you come back and the house is a mess and everyone is mad at you, get your own place and explain to your BF that you feel used and you can’t live like that. If he doesn’t accept how you feel then he won’t help change how you’re being treated. That’s not someone you should want to spend your life with.
I would stop. Maybe not go as far as to move out quite yet. But don’t be there for her to drop her kid off. Stop cleaning up after anyone but yourself and your child or cooking for just y’all.
They are all’ using you. Start charging to baby sit. At least a little bit! Or say no im not watching her. Stand up for ur self. Also only clean up after Ur self and boyfriend. Make everyone else clean up their own messes like dishes and etc.
Sweetheart, I’m a mother of 2 girls 21 and 29, I’m gonna tell you what I have said to my own children, STOP ACTING LIKE A WIFE TO A MAN THAT’S NOT YOU’RE HUSBAND! You are under NO OBLIGATION to be watching HIS CHILD, nor cooking or cleaning for ANYONE else under that roof, if that Boy RESPECTED you a thimble he would never allow you to be treated in that manner. My advice is to GET YOUR OWN PLACE, any Man thats willing to share a roof, bed,your body, Hold you to WIFLEY duties should be sharing HIS LAST NAME!!! If RESPECT is what you TRULY WANT, Its your responsibility to RESPECT YOURSELF !!!
If he truly loved you he wouldn’t let other people take advantage of you he should know already you’re no one else’s housekeeper Etc good luck and I sure do pray you make the right decision
Good Lord! Get away from them for like a week and show them! And DO NOT get pregnant!!
Maybe you’re a good maid, You need too put your foot up !! Your a good person]
They’re taking advantage of you because your letting them. Stand up for yourself.
Just stop cleaning up after and cooking for the friend and cousin 
they are adults? They can do it themselves. Plain and simple
I was in the same situation a few years ago. I was living with a guy and his kids came every weekend. I was expected to cook and clean (which i didnt mind too much) but he wanted it to be immaculate. Not my style. I was working 40+ hours a week as well. The last thing i wanted to do some days was come home and clean up after an overgrown man child, on top of him letting his kids treat me like crap and seeing me in the wrong when i got upset. Talking got me nowhere. He didnt believe i was moving till my aunt and ,his best friend( lol) showed up with a trailer. We last about a month after that cuz i finally realized that all he wanted was someone to control and that was NOT going to be me. I was by far the best decision i ever made
You should tell her mom that you can’t always do it. You have a life and things you have to do too. When you can sure do it, but if you can’t then don’t and don’t feel bad about it. It can be really hard
I would just stop doing for everyone. Only do for you and your man. Stop watching the kids you dont get paid free start charging then if she doesn’t like it she can take the kid to a daycare and pay full amount there. Dont let anyone run over you
Stop cleaning period until they learn how. And when baby momma pulls up with baby get in your car and leave tell her no more until she respects that you have your own life you don’t mind helping but if she can’t respect you enough to ask first then the answer is always No.
Va -t-en .TU VAS TOUJOURS SERVIR DE Femmes à tout faire .
I’m going to ask you something I wish someone would have asked me before I got married. Because I got married with the expectations that things would get better eventually bc circumstances would change etc etc. Things are the same as they’ve always been in most aspects. So here it is…
If nothing changed, and this was how the rest of your life was, would you be ok with it? If not, then I suggest leaving the relationship. OR accept that this is how things are and choose to be happy and choose to be ok with it! Which was my choice considering my own relationship issues lol.
Why you in a relationship, with someone who is not respecting you . Him not backing you, or helping you, letting others take advantage of you. Leave. They are not worthy of you.
Start not watching her if you’ve told the mom you can’t because you’re busy and just not answer the door or grab your keys and walk out and lock the door and say sorry you don’t communicate and I already told you I can’t today sorry find someone else
That’s not love hun. I can promise you that. And he ALLOWS his baby mama to disrespect you. You’re allowing it too by continuing to babysit. You’re being used. Period.
Also don’t clean others stuff up just yours and your boyfriend’s
Run, don’t walk and don’t look back, get out of there!
Go on strike …don’t clean up after them /cooking ect.when x shows up with kid say sorry can’t do it and get in your car to leave …after several days someone will notice an say something and depending on what they say /how boyfriend reacts than you have your answer if you should leave or not
This isn’t going to change leave and break up with him he should allow his ex to treat you like that I find it very suspicious that he lets her use you like that
Stop watching the kid, they just taking your kindness for granted, leave the whole situation
From what you’ve said I get the impression that he doesn’t value you, do you want to make a life with someone who doesn’t value you or respect you? Talk to your boyfriend and give him an ultimatum and if he doesn’t do anything about it then its not worth it to stay, break it off before you get stuck with him, it’ll be hard because you love him but you have to love yourself more. I really wish you good luck.
Don’t just move out, move on… you’re clearly unhappy and that’s not going to change, obviously you’re the only person in the relationship who is concerned with your happiness and that’s not a healthy relationship.
Why are you still their ?
Move out and be a young adult !!
Don’t tie your self down now when ur not happy .
Sometimes a big change makes people see that your not okay being in that situation anymore and wakes up
Sounds like everyone benefits from you being around except for you. I would move out. Find some girlfriends to live with or something. Seriously, there is so much more out there than living with a group of people (and especially your boyfriend) who don’t appreciate you.
If you are not going to leave you need to set your boundaries and stick to them. Stop cooking for anyone other than yourself and your Bf, same with cleaning.
“What’s for dinner?”
“[BF] and I are having _____, what are you making?”
Let them be mad.
Be ready to walk out the door whenever you think the baby’s mom will drop her off without clearing it with you and walk out the door and get in your car as she pulls up “sorry I have plans and can’t take her today, wish you would have made sure I was available to watch her” and leave. Let her throw a tantrum as you drive out of sight. (I’d come back a few min later after she’s gone to make sure she didn’t leave the baby unattended and call the cops if she did, and file a report) the baby is not your responsibility. It is awesome that you want to help but sometimes drastic measures are needed to show people you will not be taken advantage of.
Pack up and move out girl. Those people are using you and have no respect for you.
Definitely time to leave. Don’t give time for him to beg you to stay commit to your decision
You must decide what it is that you want. To keep living the way you are and keep beingbused the way you are or if you are going to make changes or not. Its your life you have to make the decisions on what to do
Your young, take care of yourself. Get a job, get an apartment, buy a car. Leave . Stop staying somewhere when your miserable. Move out. Your grown.
Leave. They’re taking total advantage of you.
Put your foot down, regardless of who gets mad! Tell them this is how its gunna be and if no one respects u leave:ok_hand: as for the baby mama I under stand u love that child but if be putting that bitch in her place just dropping her kid off and leaving… ain’t no way 
Oh my God! Girl get out now! You don’t have to prove anything to him. And I know you don’t see it now but if he loved you he would not allow you to be used like this! Run baby run
If you let them keep on using you, they will,Put your foot down,There’s no better feeling, than to prove someone wrong when they say you can’t do it!
Nope nope nope… Get a job… Walk to work if u have to… just to prove a point…
Maybe get a job and if your boyfriend loves you he will not allow that you will be the maid or be taken advantage of. Do not let the mother of the child disrespect you. Tell her she has to ask you first because you also might hsve other plans and leave before she gets to your house… or get out of the relationship.
Move out… Move into a freaking single room apartment… Something… Move out… Get a job… 21 you should have had your own place as soon as you graduated high school…
If its your house, kick them out.
Stop doing everything for everyone. Refuse and state your point as to why you’re done. You don’t have to be nasty about it just stop. If they can’t respect you then you should go. You’re NOT a DOORMAT.
I would say the cousin and friends have to go or I go… And if he doesn’t kick out the cousins and friends I would go. And never look back.
Both of the above are good advice.
Talk to your BF and tell him you only want to live with him, did these other people already live there and you moved in knowing they were there? Do you work or is your BF supporting you? In my opinion you are being taken advantage of by everyone and only you can change this and it seems the only way to do this is for you to either quit doing others stuff( like their laundry and cooking) or move out. You say you love him but he doesn’t love you or he wouldn’t let others disrespect/ use you as a maid, if I was you I would run not walk away from this whole situation!
Your allowed to leave and find your own place but the problems can also follow you to your new place if you continue this relationship with his ex and children being dropped off every other day. So it’s only up to you if you want to put yourself in that situation or you can start fresh and learn new responsibilities on your own instead of taking care of others, you need to take care of yourself too. So give him an ultimatum of doing some of the work at your own house if you continue the relationship if not he can leave.
I’d find a place, tell him you’re moving out and the reasons why and let him make the decision if he wants to keep the relationship.
Get your own place and your place, your rules
First off Pray about it. If a man really loves you he would put you first he would make sure you are respected. I know it’s hard I’ve been there and it destroyed me. I don’t mind helping out but duties should be shared. Honey it’s time to get out. If he cares at all he will go with you .
Pros and cons to own apartment/flat/house.
If he truly loved you, he’d put a ring on it. Don’t be a doormat, marriage is really hard, and if you’re already problems, perhaps you should really re-evaluate your relationship, and what you want in a man/spouse. I’d suggest praying too!!
Yup move out or they will continue to use u I’m sorry but what they doing isn’t fair to u at all I’d be gone
Give her a bill, or have him pay you you don’t have to be a slave for them they can get child care I am sure you love the child but don’t let them walk over u they will just keep taking more …
Sounds like he moved you in just to be maid, cook, bed buddy and babysitter. Shame on you for staying in that mess.
As much as I hate to say it, you will only get treated like that as long as you allow them to treat you like that. Trust me, I know all too well. Put your foot down. Tell her straight up that you are not there for her own convenience and though you love her daughter, you have another set of responsibilities as well that you can’t put on hold just to suit her. As for cleaning up after others, hell no. My husband and my kids are my responsibility. No one else. Do what my mom used to do to us. Move their mess to their rooms or just take off altogether. They will have no choice but to clean up after themselves unless they’d rather baste in the filth. if your boyfriend doesn’t acknowledge your feelings or help put an end to it, leave.
Leave they’re all taking major advantage
I agree with Cherokee. She jnows the drill
Leave and stand up for yourself.
Leave them all and find yourself! I refused to live like this.
Then stop! Stop cooking and stop cleaning for everyone. Do your laundry and cook your meals for you and your boyfriend, that’s it. As for your boyfriends daughter it’s HIS responsibility seeing as it’s his kid! Don’t let him be a deadbeat dad. Put your foot down
Actions speak louder than words…you cant help those that wont help themselves. Find your own place but unless YOU make a change they can follow you
I have questions. Do they pay bills? Do you? By all means no one deserves to be walked all over…maybe if you’re not chipping in with bills they feel, not me lol… But they feel that you cleaning and cooking is your contribution. Initially I was going to suggest stopping the cooking and cleaning, but then how does that look like you’re living there for free and not doing anything… regardless good luck… Don’t let anyone walk on you
Get a job. Then you have a valid excuse not to be everyones bitch.
Keep doing the Same thing and you will always get the same shit. Either do it or get up and go. Your choice.
You are an idiot. Get a grip and get out!
Stand up for yourself. Give him a option of changing things or you will leave. But do it in a conversation not in a argument. I think he is taking you for granted. Let him make the choice. But do it now because it won’t change on its own
If he isn’t changing any of the issues of you being used… then he is using you just as much as they are. And to be honest doesn’t care. Get out. Find resources for income based housing and be free!
First of all say no! It’s so much easier said than done, I know. But as far as the kid goes your not obligated to babysit. Say I can’t watch her today that’s it you don’t owe an explanation. Even if you have to leave the house and do nothing or shit even if you want to relax. You can say No! As far as the house. Call them out on their shit excuse me can you wash your dish etc. if it’s yall house you need to manage it period. As far as the cooking that’s the easiest one, stop. Cook for you and your man. If they ask you let them know I just cooked for me and ___ today. If you feel like cooking for everybody you can and let them know your welcomed to dinner tonight so they know it’s not an everyday thing. That’s my advice if you stay but I actually think you should move if you can afford it. Your to young for all that. Move for you though you don’t have to prove anything to anybody. Long ass answer but I’ve been there before
Some where along the line, you allowed the behavior to happen. So, now you have to train everyone to respect your boundaries.
If mother of baby is at the door, unannounced. Don’t open the door all the way. Tell her, No. No is an answer. You do not have to follow it up with an explanation.
As for your roommates, let the mess lie on the floor or bundle it in a trash bag. Eventually they will miss it, once they run out of clothes. Dishes. Etc.