This is not love. You need to be on your own for first and decided what it is you want and need in a partner. Be with someone who respect you and your feelings. Love isn’t a one way street. Sure you can love him but doesnt mean seeing bow much shit of his you can tolerate. You deserve better and you will find the one.
YES LEAVE.
Let the boyfriend have his 1st child.
Don’t help the mother out if she doesn’t respect you have a life also.
The friend and cousin are just mooching and your boyfriend is happy for them to do that to you!!
Jesus, leave now.
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I would stop cooking and cleaning up after anyone other than you and your child until things start to change. They’re treating you how you’re letting them, so show them you won’t let them treat you like a live-in maid, anymore. And only babysit on your terms, turn them away if you’re busy and can’t.
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Unless you actually walk away …nothing will ever change. The best definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome!! I know you say you don’t want to break up with him but …the ball on that one may not be in your court. But Yes quit letting everyone take advantage of you. As for the mother of his child just"Dropping" his child off on you …tell her that the next time she tries that, that you will have SOCIAL SERVICES come pick up her child as she has left it and it is not your responsibility. No one will “Respect your issues” until you make them aware that you are not their doormat.
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Stop cleaning up after people and straight up tell the baby momma that she has to gind somepne else to watch the kid (if u have plans already n she jus pops up) dont do something u dont have to do.
You’re being used and none of them respect you! Get out of that mess!
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Only cook enough for you and your man and the kid when she’s with y’all. Don’t clean up other people’s messes. Only wash y’all’s dishes. If you pick up their trash, put it in their room. Eventually they’ll get the point. If you still feel like this in a month, just go ahead and move out and get your own place. If your boyfriend wants to be with you, he’ll either move in with you eventually or y’all can continue to see each other. But before you get your own place, remember a lease lasts for a preset amount of time. Maybe try to find a place with a 6 month lease incase you want to move back in with them. But remember, if they’re begging for you to come back it’s probably because they miss having a maid. So just stay strong and put your foot down. His cousin/friends/whoever y’all live with are grown ass adults. You’re not responsible for taking care of them.
Just move out not to prove anything except you are not someone to be used and disrespected. What is allowed, will continue. You teach people how to treat you.
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First- kick out the friend and cousin
Second- tell him what’s up? He either smarter up or he can hit the road too!
Clearly you said you want to be with ur bf and do something less envasive and this is it! Give him an ultimatum either smarter up and focus on our family (including his other child) and or leave! What are his priorities? What does he need to work on? What will he commit to work on? You can also figure out the babysitting/parenting with the mother. If your going to commit to being with your bf yes that’s your step daughter, it’s not parenting! If he agrees to work on being home more etc if will feel less like babysitting and more like parenting.
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As long as you keep saying what you want and they ignore it, you will continue the way it is. By telling your boyfriend that you will move and then do it he will get the message. If he lets you go, then you have the answer about what he wants from you.
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Do you work or financially contribute to the housshold? If not then yes you should be cooking and cleaning and helping with his child. If you dont like it then leave.
Make it known if things don’t change you’ll leave. I’ve been there and done that. Needless to say that fucker is out of my and technically his kids life. 
Leave now your boyfriend and everyone else is using you. RUN
Are you Crazy? Move on or you get what you deserve! Love is a two way street and sounds like you are going one way!
Baby girl please get out of there if your boyfriend doesn’t help you change anything then he likes it like it is and hes no good for you please you can do it
He thinks he cant do it not you, thats called manipulation. And disrespect. Leave now. Raise that baby right with love and respect.
The more you allow it the more they’ll do it. Trust me iv been there.
They are all being so disrespectful of you and the more you allow that your baby will grow up to do the same. (Been there too). They wont change because you have a bitch, they say yea yea and it all goes back. They are happy with using you as a maid/babysitter etc so why would they change. I would have serious concerns about your boyfriend allowing you to be used like this.
Get out now because honestly it will only get worse. Your feelings should be validated, you shouldn’t be used like that and he shouldn’t allow it
Truthfully people don’t care unless it affects them.
So stop cooking for everyone, stop cleaning, when your step child is dropped off, go for a walk, just keep changing your habits and routines until you can’t be relied on and those around you will start doing stuff for themselves.
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I think you have answered your own question, leave it will only get worse. If he loves you he will follow.
Good Luck!!
Don’t be a wife to a boyfriend
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You don’t need to prove anything to them… the only person you need to prove anything to, is yourself. Refuse to be taken advantage of. Move the hell out & prove to yourself that you are a strong, intelligent person, capable of supporting yourself.
I’d say just leave him all together
Yeah you’re the only one that can put a stop to it. Don’t let all them to continue to use you, prove to him that you don’t have to be a maid or free babysitter for them
They have no respect for you, try this go get yourself a part time job so you wont have so much free time to be a free babysitter you will have to accountable to your part time job and they will have to either be more considerable when it comes to your time or they will have to find childcare that they pay for. Stick to your guns when it comes to your commitment to your part time job and stress to them the importance of you having to know their schedules if you continue to watch their child. They will only start to repect you when you start to respect yourself in the since that your not tolerating being used as a free babysitter
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Respect yourself and then they will start respecting them. I would set them all down and lay down the rules, that is if you want to stay. If not stand up and move out
People will only treat you as bad as you will allow them to. I’d move out and prove my point
Take take take until nothing of you is left
Choose Yourself that’s ridiculous
You’re being used. Stop doing everything. Tell the mother to quit taking advantage of you too and charge her. You shouldn’t be picking up after and cooking for his friend and cousin. They all need to grow up
RUN AS FAST AS U CAN! U are being used!
If you dont have a job then get one. Put baby in daycare set up close to your job for convenience factor. Start saving every penny you have. Keep cooking if ur home and just make what u like. If theres enough others can eat and if not then oh well, but you and your baby gotta eat anyway. Save, save, save. When you have enough to move out do it, unless in the mean time everything has changed. Sometimes being independent and standing your ground is enough to get things. As for the ex she is probably just dropping her kid off with the Dad and he happens to see you as the one who is her babysitter tell him no it’s his job and if you’re working that will solve itself.
I’m also assuming the friend/cousin pay rent and telling them to hit the road isnt an option. Work and save, save, save…did I say save?
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Sometimes we have to let go even when it will hurt us. Leave, spread your wings, find your independence and peace
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It seems like to me every body is just using you including your boyfriend move out get your own place live for your self you’ll like it better
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Stop cleaning for the others and only clean and cook for you and the bf and if baby momma shows up after you’ve told her no then just don’t answer the door, she can learn to respect you and your time or she can figure something else out. If none of that works then time to pick up and leave.
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Stay at a family’s house until you have your answer.
Stop cleaning up after the cousins and friends. If they live with you, put their dirty crap in their bed.
KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!
The ppl in your life treat you how you allow them to treat you. I’d say grow a pair and the next one that disrespects you, go off on them. If baby mama show up after you said NO, call the dad if he don’t get the kid, call the cops for abandonment. Harsh yes but clearly they all need a dose of reality. They need to know you’re done with the bullshit!!! Stop cooking, cleaning etc. Unless it’s for you or your baby. Start getting things in order to move out, nothing worse than being treated like a maid by the man who should love you. Instead he and all his friends/family are using/abusing you. You hold the peer to stop it all.
- Cook enough for you, your kid, and your boyfriend. If anyone complains tell them it’s not your job to cook for the others.
- Place the cousin and friends mess on thier beds. Tell them to take care of it. (Even if it’s dirty socks and dishes)
- For the free babysitter literally just walk out the door and go for a walk if she just tries to drop the kid off without notice. Just tell her your busy and keep walking.
- If anyone gets on your case just simply tell them your done being nice. They can shape up or ship out.
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Tell everyone but the boyfriend to get the f out.
Just do for your family…stop picking up their crap…only wash what you dirty…
If your busy and they want you to babysit make sure you are gone before they drop kid off…if they just come to drop off kid…say sorry just going out and walk out the door … won’t take long for them to realize you can not be walked on
Your 21 they are using you. I’m not one to usually tell someone to leave a relationship. This is one of those times where it sounds toxic you are an unpaid babysitter/ housekeeper. You need to move out and move on. It will only get worse. From what it sounds like they dont respect you or value you or your time. They seem inconsiderate. You didn’t create the child and they are expecting you to be responsible for them. They need to step up and be parents. They see you as a doormat. That’s not love. I realize this is only one side of the story and he may love you but none of them value you or your time. They are users.
I would recommend when it’s time to “babysit” and you’ve said you cant then leave early so you’re not there when the kid is dropped off. Go to a coffee house and enjoy a cup before you run your errands and as far as the house cleaning only do your laundry and only clean up your dishes and mess for a few days or a week and leave theirs just to show them your are not there to clean up after them!
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Grab your stuff and leave. It’s not your job to be taking care of 3 adults and a child. The mom is beyond disrespectful and needs a reality check. You are more than a housemaid and babysitter. Move on to better things in life.
Get a back bone and tell them no to babysitting when you can’t stop cooking for everyone stop cleaning for everyone save up the money you need and get your own place I’ve never leaves by myself and I regret it because I’ve never really had my space do it before your married and cant
Love listen to yourself you would fine on your own but u love him so tell them ethier they pull there weight to help or you will move and say you need me more than i need you tell them all your asking is respect and tell them im not your servant .dont cook for them just do ure own and your boyfriend .babysitti g tell the mum u love spending time with the baby but not all the time xx
You’re allowing them to believe it’s okay to treat you this way.
Leave,for good. I promise you it is hard but not impossible.
Make your point, and stop complaining!
Ah NO!! his place or yours? If his leave. IF boyfriend loves you he will change things. Lived with this until I put my foot down and left my husband with our son. Was I afraid YES!! But you can do it!! You don’t have children yet and not married. So Hon please leave and have a life!! This is not one and you are better than this.
If you are financially stable then yes move out! Tell your boyfriend that you still love him but after expressing your concerns to him several times you just felt you had no choice but to get out of that house. If he loves you then he will straighten up and do better by you and your baby and learn to respect you or you will continue to do it alone without him. He needs to boot the friend and the cousin out and as for the mother you are not her personal babysitter any longer. You already have a baby of your own and when you have things to do it’s your life and it will be respected. Boundaries are to be set or your gone.
I agree with the one person, if you have family you can move in with for a bit do it. That way you can straighten things out for yourself. You’re still young. Do what you want to do before you settle down. You shouldn’t settle for a maid and free babysitter.
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If you dont make a change, nothing will change. Do you think so little of yourself that you allow these people to take your worth?
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Leave. They don’t respect you.
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If you keep letting them walk all over you, then you will never get any respect.
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Leave you’re being used nothing to get better it’ll only get worse they see you as a doormat just wipe their feet and go on in it won’t get no better
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Honesty is always best. I know that sounds typical, but this is affecting you. Theres no way around anything, just straight honesty. Doesnt have to sound cruel, but communication is key. And if he loves you, he will communicate with you and you can find a compromise that works. Always, be honest
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You moving out won’t change anyone they obviously don’t respect the home or anyone for that matter have a talk with your bf and tell him how serious you are about how you feel
I would leave. Sounds like you are being used more than in a relationship
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People treat you how you allow them too. Throw this whole relationship away. If his family is disrespecting you and he is allowing it. Go to your family
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Leave. If you don’t leave soon. When you do in a years time you’ll hate him and yourself. Respect yourself and leave
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Honestly if you see them make a mess tell them to clean it. And then leave it there. Its not your job to clean up after people and if the girls mother doesnt want to respect you then leave the child with her father.
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Leave you can do it! Their freeloaders have some respect for yourself they dont
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What you allow is what will continue.
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You teach people how to treat you. Remember that
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From what I can see there’s no respect for you from anyone. How can you wanna stay with that?
Either put your foot down HARD and let everyone know what’s up or leave.
Of course you can manage all lifes situations on your own, there’s no question. You’re always stronger than you think.
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Are you working or are you a stay at home mom and everyone else works?
Either move out. Or keep putting up with their shit. They are not going to change. Why should they? Free babysitting, free meal prep, and free house cleaning. Plus the intimacy with the boyfriend. Wake up girlfriend! You are better off alone!
Your too young for this crap. Bale out and find a better life.
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Its not about proving to them its about proving it to yourself you can manage on your own. And if your boyfriend respects your feelings he would make sure they and his bm respected you too. Value yourself enough give yourself freedom. And stop taking care of grown people who wouldn’t do the same for you. Dont be scared to lose someone if they are for you they will follow.
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At your age I would probably move out if possible just so you have some experience and time to yourself. Living alone is so awesome, and you can visit and help out whenever you want to. Then you can go home and have some peace and relaxation. I wouldn’t be spending my time doing everyone else’s stuff at your age. You could be focusing on yourself and having fun. If he wants to get married or live together I would insist it’s just you two. I once heard Dr Phil say no young couple will do well living with other people and I agree. You need to frolic and bond together.
Leave they are all using you!!
If your boyfriend respected you he wouldn’t allow any of this to happen in y’all’s home. Move on and then re-evaluate your relationship. Once he sees your serious and If your boyfriend truly loves you he will change.
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If you don’t respect yourself nobody else will either. Find a place, pack your shit, and tell your s/o you’re not leaving the relationship, you’re leaving an unhealthy environment.
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Move. Or stop doing everything. U sound very soft. Stop being a pushover.
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Get your own place. You’ll be so much happier. Stop being a free babysitter, she’s taking advantage of you. Start charging her a nominal fee, around 85 dollars a week would be a great price. This way you get to see the little one and bestow her with hugs and kisses and as a babysitter you are asserting your worth. This chick (mother of little one) doesn’t realize how lucky she is to have you. Really good nannys and/or babysitters are super hard to find. You are too good of a person and people see that in you and try to take advantage of you. They are all taking advantage of you. Good relationships are built on respect, trust, and love
Honey, they are all disrespecting you and you are letting them. There is nothing to do but to leave for yourself, let your SO, after you found your place, that you are leaving that house not the relationship
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Playing games to “prove your point” is not the answer. If you want to move out because you’ve had enough of the situation fair enough, but be careful what you do to prove a point.
People only treat you how you let them, so stand up for yourself and start saying no!
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You say they acknowledge you, but they don’t. They just hear you. If they acknowledged you, they’d change. I was in a relationship with a man who didn’t let me do anything I wanted since I’m on disability. I tried talking to him about it but nothing changed. I’m not disabled to the point of not being able to take care of myself, but that’s how he treated me. I couldn’t take it anymore so I moved out and got my own place to show him he needed to respect me. He ended up breaking up with me, but I’m happier with that outcome than I was living with him. You need to stand up for yourself. If you move out and it doesn’t work out between you, then you know he’s probably just using you. You need a man who loves you for who you are, not what you can do for him.
Sounds like he has not a care in the world for your feelings, if you want to remain in the relationship that’s ok but on your own, outside of his home. I do believe you need to leave the relationship altogether, if he really loved and cared he wouldn’t allow others to take advantage of you. So now it’s your job to make sure no one takes advantage of you.
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You get what you allow!!
Move! You deserve much more!
Tell your bf his friend and cousins got to go
Sometimes you have to go bat shit crazy to prove what you say.You need to set boundaries and mean it.Don’t be a doormat for people to walk on, find your inner bitch😈
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Quit cleaning up after everyone!!! They will never change if you don’t stop being a doormat and maid! Clean up after you and your bf, when the kid shows up tell the woman “NO, I already have plans. Maybe if you gave me your schedule I could work around it!” You keep doung for these ingrates amd they will keep letting you!!!
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Leave. This sounds like a bad situation. There is much better for you out there. You have the power to choose some one who treats you well. The BEST thing in life to be picky about, is who you spend it with.
Have some respect for yourself. Do what you have to do to stand on your own feet. Get your own place. Have your boyfriend start dating you all over again if you still want him in your life. If he loves you. He needs to show you and have your back. I think you need a heart to heart talk.
Grow a back bone? Stop dealing with crap. You’re being used since you babysit, cook, clean, etc. you’re like their live in maid. You’re there so why should they clean if you’ll clean it? Move out get your own place. Leave the guy too since he isn’t doing anything as well.
Know your worth. BREAK UP with him. Move out and take care of you and your child!!! They are all using you. They don’t respect you.
Sounds like you don’t want the relationship. You want everyone around you to change. Most of the time when that happens, it’s better to ask yourself what you can change about you. Can’t wait around for others to change. The only control you have is over yourself. As far as the kid is concerned, if you’re wifey to the daddy, you’re mommy #2. You live there. It is your family and your household. So it’s not really “babysitting”. If it’s his day to have the child, then take that up with him, not the baby momma. Biggest bit of advice I can give is if you ain’t ready to make sacrifices and be in a family, don’t be in one.
Your man should have your back. Always. He shouldn’t allow others to disrespect you and allow his baby mama to walk all over you. That man needs to learn to respect you. YOU also need to learn to respect and love yourself. Your in the wrong relationship. Leave. Move out. Get your own place. Get yourself settled. Learn to be happy on your own. And if you still want him in your life tell him to make you fall in love all over again and show you YOUR worth!!
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stop doing for these assholes do not cook do not clean just take care of you and get the hell out
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Stop cooking. Stop cleaning. Stop babysitting. Do what you need to do… self care first. They’ll have to figure out how to cook and clean when you don’t. Know your worth!!! 
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You shouldn’t have to prove anything to anyone, especially not people who act like that. I think you should get your own place but not to prove something to them, to show yourself how great it can be to take care of yourself and not have to deal with the crap you’re dealing with now.
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oh hell no . I’d tell him either he fixes the situations and grows his balls and puts his foot down or your out , I’d get some places lined up to look at and let him see that your serious. I’ve been there done that crap I kicked him out and he grew up.
The only one can change is you so go do that!
Honey he sees you as a free babysitter and had probably told his daughters mother she can call you to watch the child when ever. Grab your shit and go you are basically the whole maid and doormat no disrespect intended to this group of people.
What are your end goals with this guy? If he allows his cousin, bm, and friend to disrespect you now, it wont be much different as his wife. JS hope everything works out for you!
You are being used kiddo!
Your best bet is to leave him prove to him that you can do it you don’t need him or anyone else that doesn’t respect you so it’s time you start to respect yourself
Move on and don’t look back
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