Must likely your children are not the first grandchildren. I never had that with my daughter. She was one of the last grandchildren.
So sad. You said you had already talked to them about it and nothing changed. Just let them know you are really sad about this and that your daughter now feels sad also. Maybe then they will change but most likely they wonât.
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Well volunteer to also go with them. Maybe your little one is hard for them to handle so go with them. It will be fun if you make it fun. It will be time you have with them to make more memories
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My parents did the same thing and my children grew up not wanting to have anything to do with them they didnât even go to their funeral
At this point Iâd start giving your child the choice about spending time with them And if they say no to going do something even more fun if your child wants to stop spending time with them cuz itâs making her sad what can your family really say about it then I canât say I know your situation as me and my siblings were the only set of grandkids to our only set of grandparents but Iâve already accepted my children wonât have a grandma cuz my mother is a toxic parent that had give me and my siblings each psychological issues and is still trying to hurt us by attacking our father legally ( sheâs trying to make him homeless over spousal support he doesnât work his waiting on disability cuz his very sick with we all live with him paying rent to keep him a float but she has the courts taking all of his government cheques and unemployment) but Iâve already told my siblings when I do get pregnant if there not supportive they wonât be in my childrenâs life cuz I wonât have my kids grow up with that kid of relationship itâll be hard since they are heavily invested in there friends kids as uncles and aunts that itâd hurt my kid in that way so if there not supportive best to have my children not even know them
My husband is the oldest of 4. So our boys are the oldest and when the young ones started having their kids. Our boys have noticed their comment a were âwe arenât cute and cuddly anymoreâ. My FIL even pushed my boys away and said not now Iâm to tired.
Get yr kids friends to come over to yr plce and play with them. Plz yrs n yrs kids happiness is important use yr enjoy. It happens in other families too dont put too much weight on it. Enjoy life.
My parents took care of several of their grandchildren quite often. The kept my children for one weekend while I went to womens state bowling. Then again, I didnât ask my parents to take my kids or watch them. They had their hands full with work and a farm to run. I just learned to cherish the times they came to my home and visited. It was just us and it was some of the best times.
Kids who have the most stable present parents always get the short end of the stick.
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Iâm a very blunt person, so if it were me, I would straight up ask them why they wonât take your kids. If there is a problem if they donât want to spend time with them, and if that isnât the issue, then what isâŚbecause itâs not right. The age thing seems to be an excuse. If they still make excuses then call them out on it. get a straight answer from them. At least then youâd know the reason why. From there, you can best decide how to move forward. Itâs a shame that they are picking and choosing which grandchildren will get to have the fond memories of spending time with their grandparents.
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Enjoy your family , plan adventures and places to go . A simple picnic , trip to the library . I have been where you are at.
I can relate. My in-laws did far less with our children than the other grandchildren (especially the girls). We have 3 boys who all went to college 2 hrs away at MILâs alma mater. Never went to visit them but traveled 4 states away to visit 3 of the others. Visited 2 granddaughters college only 1 hr away. The list goes on and on. My boys told me to stop trying to get them to come visit. They said if they donât want to come; they donât want them to come. Itâs tough but I donât resent the others but it has affected our relationship with my in-laws. I tell myself that it is their loss to not get to know them.
Do things with your kids make memories, itâs a hard road but as a person that lived this out, your kids will be fine, mine are, and things tend to come full circle. When they grew up they go visit them and guess which ones donât?
My MIL used to do this with my kids. If these grandparents dont fix this they will have grandbabies who will never want to have anything to do with them. Their feelings will be hurt and they wont forget.
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This must be tradition in families. My kids where never ever the ones they took any where! Theyâd go on beach trips twice a yr & my kids was never invited all the others did! Camping trips all the other kids went mine never did because they was not invited. Bought for all the other grandkids yr round & mine got 20 bucks on birthdays and 50 it Christmas. Others had big birthday dinners and presents on top of presents. Christmas same way. I hold anger and hurt toward my parents over this. My kids are now 24 & 27 and always say they wish they had memories with grandparents. Breaks my heart to this day. I have ask WHY?! I either get no answer or they seen theyâve done nothing wrong. I love my parents but I do stay away 99% of the time for my own sanity and I donât want to hear how great the other grandkids are doing. Kids know when they are being treated differently. Even when they where small theyâd ask why they was treated differently. Iâve tried talking to my parents about the hurt they where causing with my kids. They did not care or they would of tried & changed but they did nothing but get worse.
To make your children feel special make your parents cookies or cakes or art etc and go and visit them! I love when my grandchildren come to see us!!
If your parents arenât taking them places because itâs too many kids why donât you offer to go with to help and escort your own children with them
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Happened in my family as well. Itâs just life, sometimes you get picked sometimes you donât. Teach your kids to love themselves. As far as resentment. I donât have resent anyone, I just move on with life
I was one of those kids. My paternal grandmother would buy for every other grandchild but not me. After 2 Christmas of nothing my mother stopped taking me there.
Entertain your kids yourself, itâs not the grandparents responsibility. Maybe your kids donât behave or maybe they donât like what the GP do, who knows. But anywho donât spend time worrying about why. Why not have a talk with the parents and ask why, such silly nonsense breaks families apart.
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Well as a grandparent who tryâs to give and spend equal amounts of money and time on my grandchildren, I will say that my children all know that I will love and discipline them as I did them growing up. One of my children was married to someone who had very different ideas about how to handle situations with with that grandchild. It became awkward and unenjoyable for us. I know I occasionally avoided putting us all in a difficult situation. They were the parents, but it was too difficult to try and change everything we normally do to not offend or upset 1 parent and child. Maybe it is more to do with your expectations and rules than them not wanting to spend equal time with your child. I donât know you at all, just thought there might be something else going on
Separate yourself from them, do a little ignoring and when they ask why- Let them have it! Thatâs not right and itâs not healthy for the kids. 
I would cut way back on anytime I spent with the whole bunch. How rude. It is inexcusable for a grandparent to do this to a child. But I would like to know how your child behaves. Does she mind or does she want it her way? It still not an excuse either way. I will pray you you. Check out what your state has to offer. There are usually some fun things to do that wonât blow a hole in your wallet. Do you have any local farms where you can pick fruits? Look for ways to make your own fun.
Did I read that there are 10 grandchildren? All of you are lucky they do anything with them that costs $. That is a lot of grandchildren. I suggest you do two things: 1. Never, ever complain to your parents again that they leave your children out, and 2. Never, ever speak poorly to your children about their grandparents. I am sure your parents love them all equally. You could solve this yourself! Think of baking cookies for your parents and taking them to the grandparents. Ask yourself what you and the kids can do for them.
Please take your kids out. They probably would rather do stuff with you over grandparents or other family anyways and you donât have to mention to your kids all the places the other kids go with them. Grandparents put in their time raising their own kids. What they want to do with their grandkids is totally voluntary and they have the right to choose which kids and when to take. Maybe their way of saying your kid is too young is a kind way of saying they canât handle the child yet, perhaps she doesnât listen to them or is too energetic at the moment for their older age to handle? My mom is the same way. She will come and try to kidnap my own daughter from me bx she bonded with her since birth and she doesnât really do much w my younger son but she will still come by and see him and ask about him and love on him. Meanwhile, my brother moved 45 mins farther shortly after his son was born and finally moved back and his wife wonders why my mom doesnât have that same bond w their now two boys. I put in the respect and effort to being my daughter to my mom on days she wanted to see her whether I really wanted to or not and now sheâs inseparable. On the other hand, she hasnât seen her grandma from her dadâs side since her 2nd bday (almost 4 yrs ago) and dads side grandpa in a year and she is their only grandchild. My daughter is not one bit bothered by it and neither am I. My dad is deceased so the only grandparent she has in her life is my mother. My nephews are not one bit bothered that their grandma does alot more w my daughter than them. You know why? Their parents take them lots of places. I take my kids lots of places. They donât have time to worry about keeping tabs. So Iâll say it again⌠Do stuff with your kids and take them out! Love them and build up their self esteem/confidence and they wonât care who does who with what. Let those grandparents do what they want in their older age.
Make your own memories with your children. If your parents wants to do something with your children. Just tell them that youâre already have things plan for your family. Even if itâs going on a picnic, or out to the lake. If your kids want to know why their grandparents didnât want to spend time with them when theyâre older. Explain to them that they were wanting to spend more time with their cousins instead which is the truth. Also keep a journal as well.
I would simply have a talk with your parents and tell them if they canât treat your child the same as the other grandparents then you were done with them and walk away.
Yeah we had the same itâs just a power trip from your grand perants I even thought my daughter to respect them big mistake. Stuff them move on your children are to important .
Donât resent them before looking at the dynamics of YOUR relationship with your parents, not the kids relationship. Also, are you their son or daughter and what are your siblings. Lastly, are your kids spoiled or have questionable behavior.
- The relationship you have with your parents WILL dictate how they interact with your kids. Yes, the kids are innocent, but depending on the relationship you have it may be easier to not include your kids than it is to deal with you.
- If you are the son and your siblings are all daughters, then that could be a factor. Or even if you have a brother is his wife close to your parents.
- Your kids behavior. Be honest with yourself. Are your kids easy to handle especially out and about?
The situation is a tough one. But, Donât just blame your parents without understanding why. Your parents are giving excuses as to why, which may mean they donât want to hurt you with the truth.
I and my 3 brothers was those grandchildren that did not get to go to town for shopping but all the others did,and I noticed ,when they passed away it really didnât bother me,because they never was grandparents to me.People need to think about the kids feelings
Dont wasre yr energy on this use it to enjoy more of yr kids. Do enjoyable plays outings and get yr kids to come play with them.
Soon the others would be the ones missing out.
We have a similar issue with some family members that expect us to show up for them regularly but almost never show up for our kids birthdays. When they do, they either show up for the favorite and not the others or they bring TONS of gifts for the favorite and very little for the others. We finally told them point blank last year that theyâre expected to show up on the same level for all of our kids or donât expect us to show up for them.
Donât go around your parents and see if they miss you, if it doesnât. Bother them that your not there they sure donât care about your Family. I did that with mine, and they only knew me when they needed something done, and that stop to.dont put you are your family in a situation where they feel like they are not wanted, because then they will start resenting you for forcing it onto them.
Some parents should never be parents ever. I know from experience! 
My mom raised my sisters kids for 7 years and with mine she barely babysat. Mine is her favorite but she barely sees her unless i drag my daughter with me to see my momâŚ
Invite them to a picnic at the lake for a great day out. How are they supposed to know your kids even want them around. The more time they spend together the bigger the love grows. You canât just sit around being mad at them. They donât know your kids very well obviously. Itâs pretty obvious instead of correcting the situation you yourself are making it worse. A grandparent only feels welcome around you and yours as you make them feel. If my grandkids tell me they live me and mean it I know they want to be around me. If they donât ever talk to me or come to see me how do I even know if they like me. Kids are all different. Some are shy some are outgoing and some just want to be left alone. You sure donât want to tread on a family that never have much to do with you. The closet you bring them together the more time they will spend together. Quit feeling negative feelings towards them and show all the love you have to give. You might just see things turn around in the right direction!!!
Be happy with your children. Ask your parents why they donât include your children. So you take all the children and give their parents a break. Maybe things will improve,
What help are you offering, are they supposed to control any outing? Who pays on their limited income, are you there to help
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I believe this happens more often then not. Talk with your child and ask if she/he wants to go? And see if she has noticed it happens? And if so ask her if she/he knows why? Ask if she would like to sit down with those grandparents and share how she is feeling? If she doesnât then let it go.
Most people resent their parent or parents at some time in their life especially when we are all getting older. Parents often resent children they feel do not care or consider their needs enough too . You should be having this conversation with your Mother. Then your Father. Or your Father then your Mother. Or both of them together. Invite them to a Sunday Lunch, at your house or out, an evening, a BBQ at your house. Just the two of them. Afterwards, talk it over calmly. You might find they feel they cant cope with more than one 6 year old at a time or your child in particular for some reason. Parents, older people have limits, needs and considerations too. Your siblings might ask their parents to take their children for some reason , provide extra money for the childâs outings (they can be expensive). Your siblings may have been closer to your parents all their lives, have needs and understandings of and with your parents you never had. Time to talk it over.
Then make your own memories with your kids to take all your kids on trips But together so no one misses out
I grew up with Grandparents like this. We never received an answer as to why my brothers and I were left out but now being adults, we have somewhat pinned it on the fact that we were the âdifferentâ ones. All of my cousins grew up on farms and were raised Catholic. My brothers and I were âcity slickersâ (in a town of about 12K 
) and were raised Non-denominational. We thankfully had another full set of grandparents who thought the world of us.
I hope your kids have someone similar whether it be you and your partner or another set of grandparents or otherwise. Iâm 29 and I see the one set of grandparents maybe once a year and we live in the same townâŚwhere with my other set I try to see them weekly. Your kids know who is there and who shows upâŚmy brothers and I are proof of that.
My two were always made feel inferior by my husbands parents the other grandchildren received birthday /Christmas gifts and cards but mine never received anything. My kids are now adults but theyâve never forgiven that set if grandparents. When the other kids turned into drug users and law breakers the grandparents then tried Cosying up to my kids who in return told them to go bite their butts not interested.
i know the feeling. both my husband now and my ex husband parents do this as well. they dont even try to see my kids either. but the see and do things with the step grand kids and other grand kids. been happening for years. now my kids are older now almost all teens. they know what going on and see it. so they said fuck em their loss. you have every right to be mad!!
No your mom didnât babysit them I did. Come on Jennie I use to keep Amy all the time because I wanted to
Sweetie Pie. I so get it. My kids are the youngest of the cousins. All the older girls are from twin sisters. So they bum around alot. Not including my girl who is 18 mos younger than the youngest cousin in twin bunch. BUT ALL OF MY NIECES AND NEPHEWS are that 18 mos to 2 yrs in age difference. From the start to the finish. No joke. Only 2 are 10 days apart. My brothers oldest son and the younger twins youngest daughter.
SO, instead of allowing my kids to feel left out of stupid stuff. We bought zoo passes, Sea World Passes, went to Disneyland, went to the beach, we just did it all. Took the kids out of school for a long week end and did something else. Living in California we could do this. Then all the others were upset because my 2 were doing all the COOL STUFF.
Dont fret what Grandparents are or arent doing with your kids. You look around your area see what is available. What works in your budget. And enjoy your babies. Granny aint got what mama has. Thats tender loving care. Saturday afternoon movies isnt that much. McDs happy meal lunch in a park with mommy. Really? Come on. Ice Cream cone with Mommy. Sweetie Pie. This is what they will remember. Not what Granny did! What did my mommy do?
Seems like your resenting your siblings and nieces/nephews also.
Know how you feel.My grandmother had 6 kids but only 1 and She had 17 grandchildren but only 4. I think k You know what I mean.
Iâve been told that I am guilty of this. Here is my reasoning. Five kids and three dads. Oldestâs father lives nearby but isnât interested. No birthday or even Christmas visits/gifts either! Next two have a different dad. Heâs a narcissist and hard to be around but he does show up and takes his kids for visits, trips and holidays. Next two have a different dad. In fact our daughter married this one so those two kids have their dad in the household. Take a guess which one I have been accused of favoring?? Take a guess why??
Maybe there is a behavior problem youâre unaware of and your parents donât tell you about???
They should treat all their grandkids equally. Ask them directly why they favor the other kids over her.
Shame on them!!! If it is to continue, donât bring them home anymore. How about the other set of Grandparents?
all kinds of variables between the kids⌠stop the jealousy thing. Could it be the distanceâŚis your child easy to care for. Whats the difference between all the kids. Grandparents canât handle a bunch of little kids outside of the home. Does your kid spend the night with them?
Thatâs bullshit, hate favoritism. Keep them away from that kind of toxic environment. Donât let them learn their toxic behaviors.
Seems like thereâs more to this! There has to be a why or why not, whether valid or not!
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As a grandkid, I have always resented my grandparentsâŚAs a young kid, I tried to be close to them always but they always ignored me and my siblings. Their favorite were my cousins. Gave them Pocket money, gifts etc but we received none⌠Adults might think kids doesnât know but kids are very much sensitive and such things remain with us for our whole lives. ⌠My parents ask to forgive and go visit them, but I donât wanna anymore. They are practically strangers for me⌠If I were the mom, I will not set foot there anymoreâŚ
What I would say is I wouldnât worry about it donât trip off it at mine donât even worry about that part of the family if they do more than that then you take your daughter or your son out and do more outings with them donât worry about your other side of your family and when they want to talk to you or tell them that youâre not available at that time to worry about that and if they start calling and saying stuff to you tell him that youâre not in the mood to hear it I would just ignore them and try to do something else and if youâre ever feels or your child feels that they donât have the person around that is donât worry about other people taking out your kids I know how that feels when they do I tell my family if you take one you take all the kids and I only accept one you accept the whole family thatâs what I will say if not then donât even an ologist thatâs what I would tell
Dear Fan, ditto to your story. We didnât mention it to ours they asked us why. Now adults who are just good caring people.
We grew up where my grandmother on Christmas day would have all the grandchildren together. When it came to handing out gifts the other grandchildren got theirs. But when it came to us she always said oh I forgot the girls. Got to the point my dad would go and we stayed behind. We were never considered part of the family or accepted.
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Please donât let the ugly in others kills the beauty in you or your children 
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my mom did the same thing to my kids. My neice and my daughter are 6 weeks apart in age and she always had her over at her house. She would go to her softball games but she never let my daughter stay with her and the only time she went to my daughters game was when she was playing a game against my neice. It was so hurtful and frustrating but not surprising since she was so partial between me and my sister. Now m6 daughter doesnt have anything to do with her and she wonders why. Believe me i let her know why. Im sorry your family is having to deal with this.
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Many families suffer with this. God dwells where there is love. Pray to actualize 1 Corinthians 13:4 - 8 ----- 
be honest with yourself; let Godâs peace & comfort flow TO you and Through you and Through others.
Your parents are wrong
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tell them exactly how you feelâŚ
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Favorite child > favorite grandchild.
Talk to your parents an find out way open talk if you can
I wouldnât want my child around them
Suggest they take your kids somewhere. Donât wait to be asked, take a proactive stance. Nicelyđ
My mom doesnât even have other grandchildren and she is closer to her friends kidsâŚits their choice and their lossâŚunfortunately resentment is a tough pill not to swallow but it only hurts you as they most likely donât even register the emotion from you, or donât really care.
It boils down to how you want to continue your lifeâŚfeeling resentment or letting it goâŚim still working on it to be honest
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what a shame. Talk to your parents about how your children feel.
You are in the best position to enjoy your own kids.
My mom was just like that. It was awful for me.
Shame on your parents âŚjust shame on them âŚGrandparents who show favoritism do damage
You Carnt change the fact that u feel youâre kids are left out I also felt like this for years & it messed my head up bad Iâm at a point now where I know my kids are my responsibility & il do all I can to see them happy I wasted far too much time thinking about the negatives & realise Iâm truely blessed to have my beautiful lil family no time for the bull if they want my kids in there lifeâs theyl make an effort otherwise itâs no skin off our noses Xxx
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control what you can. what you canât, let it go.
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Mention it to your parents. Tell them your child feels left out
Shouldnât happen. Both are losing out
I feel you⌠my mother would always give me a hard time about leaving my kids at her house, however it was not the same with my sisters kids. She practically raised one of my sisters children. I think maybe it was because my kids was the oldest ones born before she felt we should be having children. When I had my first one, my baby brother was just two years old. However I saw the difference and kept stepping giving my kids the best experiences that I could. My husband and I Did not miss a beat.
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Donât force your kids on anyone, enjoy taking them places yourself!! They will regret it in the end when those kids have no relationship with them and start skipping family functions. I was in your shoes at one time and my kids just didnât want to go to family functions that they felt not a part of 
best thing to do is love and spoil your kids yourself 
Couple of questions, is she well behaved? Do they have a big car for car seats.do they watch her Durning week and on weekends ?see her all the time? Im sure thereâs reason.just ask.
It used to break my heart watching my kids getting left out and passed over by family in general, and grandparents especially. I decided it only hurt my kids to dwell on it where theyâd notice, so Hubby and I designed specialty events focused around them but including our older friends. If grandparents showed. Great. Kids got bigger crowds. If not, we never even mentioned their absence to the kids. And we never passed on âtheir regretsâ to our kids. We avoided feeling or sharing bitterness and resentment
If its been six years of thus its time for you to tell them flat out straight up and if not cut ties your child is old enough to feel they are being left out
Their other children may have parents with different, more relaxed parenting styles than yours. So they donât have to worry about what is said in front of the kids, what the kids eat, how theyâre disciplined, whether theyâre smoked in front of, etc. Or your children may not be well-behaved enough that they want to take them or even babysit. How would I know? lol
I understand but youâre not going to get them to change
Not asking this to be negative or mean but is it possible ur child is mis behaved and they dont know how to tell u without making u mad? Im just tryin to understand out of all the kids why only urs would b left out. If not then I would def sit them down w out the kids and ask them whats up.
Confront them and request that they should take turns with all the grandkids and help them keep track of whoâs turn it is.
Have one of your kids ask your parents why theyâre never included.
Betcha thatâll solve the problem.
My husband comes from a family with 4 children 2 boys/men (my husband is a twin) and 2 sisters. The sisters and granddaughters are always being celebrated and praised. This includes birthday dinners and cakes for the daughters but none for the sons. They are all grown but I just donât understand how you celebrate some but not others. I donât think I will ever understand this about his family. Itâs as if the males are the black sheep of the family. I will never understand what makes people do what they do.
A true story. When my kids were younger and my sibilings were having get togethers my kids were excluded. I made the most awful choice by going to these stupid things without them. I wish I could go back in time and say no, if my kids cant go I wont go. Its to late for all of it. Dont force your family onto your children. Donât force your children onto your family. God is sorting that shit out for a reason. Your child just might be better off. Hug you child and go get an ice cream. That will make everything better. Hugz
Do something special with your child to counter being left out.
Dont worry about it girl its their loss but when your children start making a name for themselves when they are older, then your stupid parents will realise their mistake in favoritism. And they will want to reconnect with your children, i have seen this happen in families and its up to you and your family if you forgive them.
Your last sentence says it all.
All I can say is⌠they are COMPLETELY in DENIAL!! You will need to decide whether to confront them. People do not want to accept the TRUTH⌠especially when it is them that is the reason for your resentment. People like your parents⌠if confronted with the truth, will attack YOU! They will say and believe that YOU are the angry and crazy one in order to deflect their own shame, responsibility and accountability. It would be interesting to know what your relationship was like with your siblings growing up. Did your parents have a âfavorite??â Did you often feel âleft outâ as a child growing up? Iâm just trying to get a âfeel,â a pattern of how your parentâs treated you as a child. Yeah⌠I know⌠kind of intense. However, if you can recognize any kind of âdismissalâ as a child by your parents, I believe they are continuing their psychological and emotional pattern by dismissing your kids as they, over your childhood dismissed you. I realize that my post is hard to read. I have absolutely no credentials in mental health. However, I was a âdismissedâ child. I was the youngest along with a twin brother. I was sexually abused by my next oldest brother. He was 6 yrs. older than me. He did not rape me (thank God.) However, I endured having to live with him for years. He continuously came into my room and laid on top of me. I told my mom. She completely dismissed me. My brother was HER SON. He could no wrong. My family is Irish. The boys ALWAYS were believed and respected. I wrote this to let you know that I âget it.â
I go through it as well and confronted my mom several times but it all backfired because my one niece now 13 cussed my mom out and now their mom (not my sister but my brothers ex) wonât let kids have anything to do with her and my kids donât relate to her it sucks still to see her make up excuses not to let my kids stay nights or take places all while she takes my sisterâs kids and the youngest is complete asshole no nice way to put it so when she ask me to do for her I tell her call my sister Iâve distanced myself from her a lot it sucks because itâs kids suffer
I donât understand special treatment for some kids. Your parents are the losers because thereâs no bond being formed and if, in a few years, they want one, your kids will be indifferent. Sad.
Is it possible that her kid isnât well behaved and her parents just donât wanna tell her?
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I love all my grandchildren but I have two that I would not want to take any place because they have never been taught manners or how to behave. They and their parents think they should not be disciplined. And I am just too old to put up with their behavior and not being able to discipline (and I donât mean physical discipline although there are timesâŚ) them when they are with me.
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We truly try to share among each of our greatgrandchildren. One granddaughter always has an excuse. Please donât blame the greatgrandparents!
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I feel for you. I donât understand how grandparents can be so cruel to pick one set of grandchildren over others but, I see it in my daughters in-law family too.
All I can say is if youâre lucky enough to have another set of grandparents on fathers side, concentrate on them and quit involving your parents in your babies lives so much.
You might also ask yourself why. Maybe she is hard to handle and doesnât listen so they are afraid something could happen to her or them.
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